Burlesque

Burlesque - Dir. Steve Antin (2010)

When pop stars break into acting, it's usually not a pretty sight. One need not look any further than Mariah Carey in Glitter or Britney Spears in Crossroads. Christina Aguilera's big screen debut may not be very memorable, but it isn't nearly as dreadful.

The one-time Mouseketeer plays Ali, a small town girl from Iowa who hops on the bus to Los Angeles to fulfill her dreams of stardom. She pounds pavement going from one fruitless audition to another until she comes across The Burlesque Lounge on the Sunset Strip. She's immediately floored by the exquisite costumes and elaborate dance numbers. Ali is desperate for a job there, but is turned down flat by the club's owner Tess (Cher). She finds some sympathy from Tess's gay best friend, Sean (Stanley Tucci), and the handsome bartender, Jack (Cam Gigandet), who gives her a job as a waitress. She eventually impresses Tess enough to become a dancer, earning enmity from the club's previous centerpiece, the jealous and alcoholic Nikki (Kristen Bell). The girls, with the exception of Tess, are called on to merely lip synch the tunes. An act of sabotage by Nikki backfires allowing Ali to show off her "mutant lungs" for a rendition of Etta James' "Tough Lover." Just like that she becomes the new star attraction.

Meanwhile, Tess is fighting to save the club when she falls behind on mortgage payments. Her ex-husband and business partner, Vince (Peter Gallagher), is pressuring her to sell out to real estate mogul, Marcus Gerber (Eric Dane). The exceedingly rich Marcus has his eyes on not just the club, but on Ali as well. Our plucky heroine is ensnared in a love triangle between the kind-hearted Jack and the high life that only Marcus can give her.

Burlesque was directed by Steve Antin, the brother of Pussycat Dolls founder, Robin Antin. It's clear where Antin's influences lie as he apes Bob Fosse and Rob Marshall in the staging of his dance numbers. These are showy sequences reminiscent of Cabaret and Chicago. Speaking of which Alan Cumming, who played the Emcee in the 1998 Broadway production of Cabaret, essentially reprises the role here in a glorified cameo. The guys at the Lounge wear bowlers and eyeliner while looking like metrosexual versions of the Droogs from A Clockwork Orange. Though the film is called Burlesque and is set in a burlesque club, there's not a lot of actual burlesque involved aside from a toned down fan dance. Nobody gets naked and the outfits stay well within the realm of the PG-13 rating.

Antin also received sole credit for the screenplay, which was worked on at various times by Diablo Cody (Juno), Susannah Grant (Erin Brockovich), and John Patrick Shanley (Moonstruck, which earned Cher an Oscar for Best Actress). The results are a hodgepodge of clichés as we follow the journey of a young waif through the seductive world of Hollywood. It's predictable and chock full of corny lines like, "I held back your hair while you threw up everything, but your memories." There's an earnestness to each scene as everyone takes things deadly serious rather than playing up the obvious camp qualities.

Nobody goes to see a movie like Burlesque for a deeply moving script, they go for the music. Aguilera and Cher are more than capable of carrying the soundtrack with their powerful vocals, but the songs themselves don't feel worthy of their talents. None of them stick in your head or have you humming them on the drive home. The only tune that sticks out is an odd concoction that samples Marilyn Manson's "Beautiful People."

As the lead, Aguilera is never called upon to do anything demanding in terms of acting. She's there to sing, dance, and look good. Don't expect a transformation from Plain Jane, she's glamorous from the beginning and becomes even more glamorous as the film progresses. However, Burlesque utterly belongs to Cher and Stanley Tucci, who steal the movie whenever they're onscreen together.

While your intrepid film critic was unimpressed by the trite Burlesque, some of my fellow audience members were hooting and hollering at the garish spectacle. This one is strictly for fans of Xtina and Cher.

Rating: * ½ (*****)

The Kingdom

The Kingdom - Dir. Peter Berg (2007)

2007 was quite the year for politically charged movies. Hollywood dealt out their own liberal views on the war in the Middle East with films like In the Valley of Elah and Rendition. All three films received mixed reviews and raked in tepid box office revenue. The Kingdom followed suit using some of those same themes which isn´t surprising as screenwriter Matthew Carnahan also write Lions for Lambs. But, The Kingdom dials down the politics while upping the mayhem. It polishes up those hot-button topics with the glossy sheen that only a big-budget blockbuster can.

The film opens with a Cliff Notes quickie rundown history of the Saudi Arabia and its relationship with the U.S. Next, we're taken to a housing complex for oil company employees in the Saudi capital city of Riyadh. The residents are enjoying an afternoon softball game when two terrorists, wearing Saudi State Police uniforms, attack. They open fire on anyone and every house in their path drawing the real police. In the ensuing chaos, a suicide bomber, also in a stolen uniform, triggers an explosion killing himself and everyone in close proximity. However, these attacks are only the tip of the iceberg. The terrorists used these initial attacks to lure in first-responder teams and over a hundred people are killed in the following, and much larger, explosion. Among the victims was the FBI´s lead agent in Saudi Arabia, Special Agent Francis Manner (Kyle Chandler).

Special Agent Ronald Fleury (Jamie Foxx) has the unenviable task of bringing the terrorists to justice for the death of his friend and the others killed. He finds his hands tied as the Saudi royal family is reluctant to allow an FBI team into the country. They do not want to seem dependent on the Americans nor do they want more killed on their soil. The U.S. State Department is in agreement and refuses to authorize Fleury´s requests. Fleury turns to some back-room chicanery and blackmail to get the Saudis to open up the doors. He´s immediately on his way to Riyadh with an investigation team that consists of Special Agents Janet Mayes (Jennifer Garner), Adam Leavitt (Jason Bateman), and explosives expert Grant Sykes (Chris Cooper).

Once arriving in Riyadh, they find their investigation hindered by the Saudis. Fleury and company are no more than observers. They watch as the Saudi officials unknowingly contaminate the crime scene and overlook vital evidence. They are forced to live and sleep in a gym under lock and key. They are dogged at every step by Col. Faris Al-Ghazi (Ashraf Barhom), the head of security at the complex who has been relegated to babysitter for the Americans. Even the U.S. Embassy, in the form of Deputy Chief of Mission Damon Schmidt (Jeremy Piven), wants them on a plane and back home as quickly as possible. Fed up, Fleury does some more wheeling and dealing and the Saudi royals give him the green light to take over the investigation.

It´s at this point that the story finally kicks in as the film becomes "CSI: Saudi Arabia." While many reviews felt that these scenes were tedious, I disagree. I thought it was interesting seeing the FBI agents work the crime scene within the strict confines of Saudi laws and culture. In one scene, Agent Mayes upsets a pair of Saudi officers while trying to simply lift a corpse´s fingerprints. She is not allowed to touch the dead body of a Muslim. It´s disappointing that the procedural aspects give way to bullet-riddled action spectacle. The final third section of the picture features the heroes engaging in a harrowing gun battle with the perpetrators. It´s a shame that the filmmakers decided that the bad guys would be brought down at the end of a gun barrel rather than through detective work. I will say that the climactic action sequences are incredibly well-done, especially the final showdown. Director Peter Berg has proven he pull off stylish action following his work on the incredibly fun, The Rundown. Here, he brings that same flair to The Kingdom and it´s in line with the work of producer Michael Mann. Unfortunately, Berg tends to rely on shaky handheld shots, a technique which is has become a tiresome trend. What would be is to keep the camera steady and let us actually see what´s happening without getting a migraine.

The cast is strong, but their acting isn´t anything special. Foxx brings the same macho, tough-guy act he brought to Miami Vice and Garner is basically Sydney Bristow-lite. Cooper has some good scenes with a country fried good ol´ boy act that would do Tommy Lee Jones proud. Bateman tends to be a bit grating with his constant one-liners while Piven simply shows up and does his Ari Gold shtick. Really, the best performances come not from the headliners, but from two relatively unknown Palestinian actors, Barhom as Col. Al-Ghazi, and Ali Suliman as Sgt. Haytham. Filling out the supporting cast are Danny Huston (who pulls off an unconvincing Southern accent) as the attorney general, Frances Fisher as a reporter, Richard Jenkins as FBI Director Grace, along with cameos by Minka Kelly, Ashley Scott, and country singer Tim McGraw.

Many have labeled The Kingdom a jingoistic piece of cinema and it´s hard to disagree. Putting aside politics, the film is slipshod in its approach to storytelling. The first act of the film deals with political maneuvering; the middle act is a procedural investigation, while the final act takes the form of a slam-bang action movie. The film's zero-sum view on the war isn't as profound as it seems to think it is. The Kingdom does try to paint some Saudis in a positive light through a hackneyed friendship between Fleury and Al-Ghazi. At least, the filmmakers stopped short of having the two characters swap family photos. There´s nothing particularly special about The Kingdom that you should go out of your way to see it, but it´s worth a watch if you just want a flick to see while eating a tub of buttery popcorn.

Rating: ** ½ (*****)

Love and Other Drugs

Love and Other Drugs - Dir. Edward Zwick (2010)

Sometimes I just don't understand the strange decisions made by Hollywood executives. Love and Other Drugs had all the makings of an interesting film centered on a very timely concept. The film was based on the non-fiction book, Hard Sell: The Evolution of a Viagra Salesman, written by Jamie Reidy, a former pharmaceutical salesman. With health care being a hot button topic, it seems like the perfect time for an inside look at the pharmaceutical industry. Instead, the studio plays it safe and whitewashes the story into yet another banal romantic comedy.

Jake Gyllenhaal plays Jamie Randall, a med school dropout who has just been fired from his job in retail electronics after boning the boss's girlfriend in the stock room. Jamie quickly gets a job shilling medication with the corporate juggernaut known as Pfizer. In the pharmaceutical game, medical knowledge is hardly a necessity, but good looks and a winning personality are everything. A dizzying montage shows candidates memorizing sales pitches and dancing the Macarena at a garish orientation. Jamie aspires for the bigger market of Chicago, but gets the accounts in Iowa instead. There, he's to push Zoloft, an anti-depressant that is a distant second in sales to the more renowned Prozac. He shamelessly flirts with the receptionists to get his foot in the door and offers bribes to various doctors. Fortunes rise (pun slightly intended) with the creation of Viagra and Jamie leaps at the opportunity, "Who can sell a dick drug better than me?"

While pretending to be an intern, he meets Maggie Murdock (Anne Hathaway), a patient suffering from stage one Parkinson's disease. Jamie inadvertently glimpses her breast and gets pummeled in the parking lot when Maggie finds out he's a drug rep. Only in the movies does this ignite a star-crossed romance. At first, both parties are only interested in empty sex, but true feelings develop to complicate their relationship. Jamie worries about how he'll care for Maggie when her condition inevitably deteriorates while Maggie is concerned about holding Jamie's career back.

Love and Other Drugs feels like four or five different movies stitched together in a haphazard manner. The film starts off strong with an engaging first act that serves as a satire of the pharmaceutical industry. Once Maggie is introduced the story veers into the territory of a standard romantic comedy. When the Parkinson's subplot is emphasized, Other Drugs becomes a weepy melodrama similar to the all-time cheesy classic Love Story. The sentimental portion does provide one of the few genuine moments of the picture when Maggie leaves a medical convention for a support group for those afflicted with Parkinson's. Topping it all off is a heavy element of raunchiness straight out of the Apatow comedy playbook. The film's stars get naked frequently and there are the requisite boner jokes involving Viagra. They've also brought in Josh Gad, who acts like the love child of Jonah Hill and Jack Black, as Jamie's lazy brother. Every word out of his mouth is an annoying and horribly unfunny attempt at lowbrow humor. On the other hand, Gyllenhaal and his Brokeback Mountain beard Anne Hathaway are both good in the lead roles as is Gabriel Macht as a rival salesman. However, Judy Greer is underutilized as are George Segal and the late-Jill Clayburgh, who only appear in one scene as Jamie's parents.

Love and Other Drugs is a different kind of film from director Edward Zwick, who helmed Glory and The Last Samurai, but it fits right in with thirtysomething, the sappy and soapy television series he produced back in the early-90's. This is a completely disjointed affair that fails to find any semblance of balance between light comedy and heavy drama.

Rating: * ½ (*****)

Faster

Faster - Dir. George Tillman Jr. (2010)

Faster marks the welcome return of Dwayne Johnson to the action genre after a string of family friendly films like Race to Witch Mountain and Tooth Fairy. Faster is a throwback to the gritty movies of the 70's as evidenced by a taciturn protagonist painted in shades of gray and his vintage muscle car. Johnson has admitted to studying Clint Eastwood to portray the hero who lets his gun do all the talking for him.

Faster opens with Johnson being released from prison after serving ten years. Once out, he jogs to a nearby junkyard where he finds a 1970 Chevy Chevelle stashed under a tarp. A revolver is waiting for him in the glove compartment along with a list of targets. Johnson stomps into an office building and shoots a telemarketer right in the head. It is only then that Johnson is identified as simply Driver.

As it turns out the telemarketer deserved to die for something other than just being a telemarketer (Courtney Gains). Driver and his brother (Matt Gerald) were part of a bank robbing crew that was ambushed by another gang. The brother was murdered and Driver was shot in the head. Miraculously, he survived and embarks on a path of vengeance against the men who killed his beloved brother. The telemarketer was just the first on the list. As for the others, some have seemingly reformed while others are just as nasty as ever.

Faster is a simple enough premise. It's a lean, mean revenge movie with Johnson looking so jacked; you would think he was making a return to the wrestling ring. Tillman directs with a clean hand without ever drowning the action in overly stylish visuals. If only the script by Tony & Joe Gayton (who penned the underrated The Salton Sea) had followed suit. The story splits its focus from the Driver and towards a pair of antagonists that stand in the way of his mission. Billy Bob Thornton plays Cop, a burnt out detective just ten days away from retirement. He juggles his hunt for the Driver with a heroin addiction and an estranged wife (Moon Bloodgood). Cop's relationship with his insecure, overweight son recalls Thornton's darkly comic turn in Bad Santa. Cop is partnered with Det. Cicero (Carla Gugino) who is barely tolerant of his slovenly manner.

On the other side of the law is Killer (Oliver Jackson-Cohen), a hitman with a British accent and a colorful backstory. It's gleaned that Killer has shaped his mind and body to perfection. A thrillseeker and former software wunderkind who has turned his fortunes to the art of murder for hire. He lives in an ultramodern mansion with his girlfriend, Lily (Maggie Grace), who shares his love of assault weapons. Killer stalks his prey while conversing with his therapist on his Bluetooth headset. He's a wild, out-of-left-field character that feels like he's been dropped in from a completely different film. Just as you're getting into the Driver's ass-kicking quest, Faster takes you on a detour into the personal lives of Cop and Killer. This three-pronged assault doesn't allot the screen time that the lead character deserves.

Despite a lack of focus, Faster is a passable actioner, one content to play with the archetypes of the genre rather than reinvent them. It's a slower paced, less stylish affair compared to The Rundown, but it's a damn sight better than the atrocious Doom.

Rating: ** (*****)

127 Hours

127 Hours - Dir. Danny Boyle (2010)

The maximalist meets the minimalist in Danny Boyle's 127 Hours, the follow-up to 2008's Best Picture winner, Slumdog Millionaire. Boyle has the tough task of cinematically chronicling the harrowing ordeal of Aron Ralston, a hiker who was forced to amputate his own arm after being pinned down by a boulder.

127 Hours is a veritable one-man show centered on James Franco as the free-spirited Ralston whose life is about to be forever changed, building from a series of innocuous decisions. Ralson wakes early in the morning to prepare for a hiking trip through Utah's Monument Valley, the site of many classic John Ford Westerns. He can't find his trusty Swiss army knife and he neglects to answer a phone call from his mother (Kate Burton). He does manage to grab a few supplies like a microwave burrito, a bottle of water, digital camera, and a camcorder. Ralston rips through the desert on his mountain bike with a mile wide grin on his face. Nothing seems to get him down. Even when he crashes his bike, he laughs it off and snaps a picture of himself.

While walking the trail, he comes across a pair of cute girls (Amber Tamblyn & Kate Mara) who are lost. Ralson gladly acts as their guide. The trio squeezes through a narrow canyon that leads to a beautiful underground lake. After parting ways, Ralston attempts to traverse another crevice, one far less imposing, and slips on a rock. When the dust settles, Ralston finds that his right arm has been crushed in between the rock and the canyon wall. He's in the middle of nowhere and has neglected to inform anyone of his whereabouts. He tries desperately to free himself even jury rigging a pulley system with his climbing role and harness to no avail. Trapped for five days, Ralston is forced to do the unthinkable in order to survive. To Boyle's credit, he does not shy away from the incredibly graphic details in order to convey the seriousness of the man cutting off his own arm. Without his Swiss army knife, Ralston turns to a cheap and dull knock-off made in China. Though in real life, the act took Ralston approximately 45 minutes, the sequence only lasts around 3 minutes in the film. Needless to say, those of you with a weak stomach should avert their eyes. It's been reported that a few audience members at early screeners fainted at the grisly sight.

When focused solely on Ralston, Boyle's direction takes a claustrophobic direction with tight close-ups of James Franco pushed uncomfortably against the corner of the frame. The camcorder is used by Ralston as both a distraction and a confessional. Franco shines in these moments as even the direst of straits cannot extinguish his natural charm. In one of the film's best scenes, Ralston hosts a mock talk show with himself as host and guest. As the chance for survival becomes increasingly slim, Ralston can only assess his situation with a glib and succinct, "Oops." Where there are highs, there are lows and Franco is equally adept at portraying a man with a zest for life coming to grips with his mortality.

It's a difficult proposition to build a feature-length movie around a solitary character within a confined location. Films like Open Water, Frozen, and Buried have tried to similar stories with mixed results. Boyle manages to keep things fresh with his kinetic directing style. He opens 127 Hours with a split screen sequence that bluntly juxtaposes Ralston beginning his journey with throngs of people crammed together as they head off to work. Moving to Monument Valley, Boyle goes for long shots of his lead against the majestic open spaces. He allows us to revel in it before constricting the film. As Ralston grows weaker due to the elements and a lack of food and water, he escapes into a realm of flashbacks and fantasies. He imagines himself leaping to freedom as if he were Superman. There's even an amusing hallucination involving an inflatable Scooby Doo. Ralston leads us through happier moments in his life with his family (Treat Williams and Lizzy Caplan appear briefly as his father and sister) and reveals regrets with an ex-girlfriend (Cleméncé Poésy). Boyle and screenwriter Simon Beaufoy do a fine job of weaving these sequences into the narrative without feeling like superfluous padding.

However, Boyle forgets to put on the brakes from time to time. The perfect example comes when Ralston realizes he has a limited supply of water. Boyle whips the camera across the desert and back to Ralston's car where an unopened bottle of Gatorade rests. It's a clever and comical moment that Boyle overcooks by immediately going into a montage of soda commercials. The camera tricks are alternately invigorating and detracting, as if Boyle did not possess the patience needed to keep us in that tiny spot. 127 Hours is at its best when it is pure and undiluted, focusing intimately on Franco's raw performance.

Rating: *** (*****)

Eat Pray Love

Eat Pray Love - Dir. Ryan Murphy (2010)

To say Elizabeth Gilbert's globe-trotting memoir, Eat Pray Love, was a smash hit would be an understatement. It was pimped by Oprah Winfrey and translated into over thirty languages.. It also spawned a slew of merchandise like Eat Pray Love jewelry, Eat Pray Love journals, Eat Pray Love perfume, and even Eat Pray Love lip gloss. No word on Eat Pray Love: The Flamethrower. Obviously it touched a nerve with women around the world and a feature film version was inevitable.

Julia Roberts plays the on-screen version of Gilbert, a freelance journalist stuck in an unhappy marriage with her husband, Steven (Billy Crudup). After the divorce, she engages in a rebound relationship with a sensitive young actor named David (James Franco). Still not content, Gilbert wants to go on a year long quest to find herself and her sympathetic publisher (Viola Davis) provides an advance to cover expenses.

The first leg of the journey takes her to Rome where she indulges in rich Italian cuisine. She even learns Italian from a hunk with the unlikely name of Luca Spaghetti. After four months of food, wine, and friends, Gilbert heads to India where she'll meditate in an ashram for the 'Pray' section of her adventure. Here, she meets Tulsi (Rushita Singh), a young girl readying for an arranged marriage, and Richard (Richard Jenkins), a recovering alcoholic from Texas who imparts barbs of wisdom on the soul-searching protagonist. After another four months, Gilbert concludes her voyage in Bali in order to study with a ninth-generation medicine man (Hadi Subiyanto) she met on an earlier trip. It is here that Gilbert hopes to find a balance between life and spirituality when the 'Love' portion of the film kicks in. She falls for an exceedingly swarthy Javier Bardem as a Brazilian businessman and fellow divorcee.

As a 30-year old male, I am hardly the targeted audience for Eat Pray Love. I haven't read the original book either. I'm sure there are plenty of reasons why it managed to captivate its audience enough to stay on the New York Times bestseller list for 187 weeks. Whatever the reasons, it didn't come across in the big-screen adaptation. The film's failures certainly don't fall on the shoulders of the cast. Julia Roberts does a great job of being Julia Roberts. When you hire her for the lead, it's because she's the embodiment of the beautiful Hollywood starlet and she can connect with movie-goers. Billy Crudup, James Franco, and Javier Bardem are all good as the men in her life, despite being relatively thin roles. Viola Davis and Richard Jenkins bring an additional layer of gravitas whenever they are present. Davis always seems to carry things to another level no matter how small her parts are. In Jenkins' case, his speech about the reasons why he's at the ashram is engrossing and nearly hijacks the entire movie.

The problem is the film lacks the raw substance necessary to truly latch onto it. Ryan Murphy, the creator of Nip/Tuck and Glee, directed the picture and co-wrote the script with Jennifer Salt. He does a fair job technically, but is unable to imbue the story with any sort of genuine emotional resonance. When we first meet Gilbert, all we know is that she is unhappy for whatever vague reasons. Once Eat Pray Love launches into a series of exotic locations, it becomes a cross between a travelogue and a reality show on Food Network. It's hard to sympathize with a well-to-do New Yorker who's getting paid to go on vacation. Someone who's biggest problem seems to be being unable to fit into her jeans after eating too much pizza. As the film concludes in Bali, it shifts into a standard romantic comedy as Roberts and Bardem pull a meet cute after he nearly runs her over. The conclusion flies in the face of the one of the film's central themes. Gilbert had defined herself based on her relationships and learned she didn't need a man to be happy. So of course, she finds one to literally ride off into the sunset with. Finally, the film is just way too long, clocking in at 133 minutes with a 146 minute director's cut hitting DVD and Blu-Ray. There's just too much eating, praying, and loving.

Eat Pray Love is a shiny, polished production set in good-looking locations populated by good-looking people. It's a chick flick through and through, but one that is not nearly as soulless as the Sex and the City movies. I'm sure someone else will give it three or four stars, but I didn't find it nearly as appetizing.

Rating: * ½ (*****)

Life as We Know It

Life as We Know It - Dir. Greg Berlanti (2010)

Katherine Heigl doesn't seem to have a problem biting the hand that feeds her. She made digs at the writing staff of Grey's Anatomy and lambasted Knocked Up for its sexist themes, despite the fact that the film made her a movie star. Ironically, Heigl would participate in features that were far more misogynistic and insipid. She's frequently cast as the shrill and vapid control freak in a continuing stream of empty-headed romantic comedies. Life as We Know It isn't any different as Heigl once again plays an uptight professional woman who is thrust into motherhood with an emotionally immature man-child.

Heigl is Holly Berenson, the owner of a bakery and catering service, who is best friends with Alison Novak (Christina Hendricks). Josh Duhamel is the subtly named Eric Messer, a technical director for the Atlanta Hawks, who is best friends with Alison's husband, Peter (Hayes MacArthur). The Novaks figure their long-time buddies would make the perfect couple and set them up on what turns out to be a disastrous blind date. Holly wears a slinky cocktail dress. Messer is dressed in a leather jacket and tattered baseball cap. She drives a Smart Car. He rides a motorcycle. Oh, how will it ever work out? Well, it doesn't at first.

Two years later, Peter and Alison are killed in a car accident. They leave custody of their 1-year old daughter, Sophia, to the bewildered Holly and Messer. The newfound parents have a difficult time balancing their work and social lives with raising a baby. Holly and Messer may smart and successful people, but one dirty diaper later, they're suddenly bumbling idiots. One montage later though and suddenly they've turned things around and slowly realize just how much they match up as a family.

Life as We Know It is on the level of a bad sitcom. It's like a pilot for a throwback to the TGIF line-up. The film is full of stock characters that get into stock situations that are easily solved as sappy music plays in the background. Life is stepped in rom-com clichés with Holly romancing a good-looking pediatrician (Josh Lucas) who acts as the third wheel in the relationship. He's the nice, bland guy who gets dumped for the leading man. There's an extremely forced, second act complication that breaks the couple apart just so they can have another idiotic scene where one character rushes to the airport to catch the other before it's too late. The humor is equally inane with scenes of Heigl getting poop on her face and watching The Wiggles while stoned.

Life as We Know It is overly sentimental drivel, but it's harmless, sentimental drivel and that's the nicest, backhanded compliment I can pay it.

Rating: * (*****)

Green Zone

Green Zone - Dir. Paul Greengrass (2010)

Green Zone is easily the best film of the first half of 2010. It’s an exceptionally rare breed of action film. It’s an action film with a brain, something you don’t see very often.

Based on the non-fiction book, Imperial Life in the Emerald City, by Rajiv Chandrasekaran, Green Zone follows the U.S. occupation of Iraq following the invasion and toppling of Saddam Hussein’s regime. Matt Damon stars as Chief Warrant Officer Roy Miller whose squad is tasked with the search for Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction. Miller’s searches are fruitless. One location is a playground; another is an abandoned toilet factory. Miller is less than assuaged by his superiors’ assurances that the intel, provided by a source code-named Magellan (an allusion to real-life informant "Curveball"), is thoroughly vetted.

In search of the truth, Miller encounters several individuals that help or hinder him. Among them are reporter Lawrie Dayne (Amy Ryan), an analogue for real-life journalist Judith Miller, who was oft-accused of being a shill for the Bush administration. Miller is also stuck in a tug of war between Martin Brown, the bureau chief for the CIA, (Brendan Gleeson) and Pentagon official Clark Poundstone (Greg Kinnear). Brown believes in utilizing the remnants of the Iraqi army to enforce order in the country. Neo-con Poundstone believes in playing hardball, weaving half-truths, and installing a glorified puppet to head up the new government.

Of utmost importance is a one-legged Iraqi who goes by the name, Freddy (Khalid Abdalla). He provides crucial information that puts Miller on the trail of Gen. Al-Rawi (Yigal Naor), one of the military's most wanted men. The relationship between Freddy and Roy Miller acts as an obvious parallel to the plight of the Iraqi people. Freddy is a representation of the hope and fear of his nation following the fall of Saddam Hussein. For Roy's part, there's an oblivious nature to some of these emotions. During one sequence, Miller and his men tackle Freddy to the ground, accidentally yanking off his prosthetic leg, because they believed he was escaping with valuable intel. In actuality, Freddy was hauling ass out of there after witnessing a black ops team (led by an almost unrecognizable Jason Isaacs) place hoods over prisoners' heads and herd them into a chopper.

The script by Brian Helgeland is blunt and lacking in nuance. However, the events are compelling enough for you to overlook any nitpicks. The same goes for the acting and the direction. Damon carries the film as the unflappable Miller. He plays well against his former Siamese twin brother (remember Stuck On You?), Greg Kinnear who takes smarmy to new levels.

Yes, Greengrass employs his trademark shaky cam, but it's not as nauseating or disorienting as his earlier work on the Bourne pictures. Teamed with cinematographer Barry Ackroyd (The Hurt Locker), Greengrass brings an immediacy and authenticity to the film. Green Zone feels like you've been dropped into the middle of Baghdad, despite the fact that the movie was shot in Spain, Morocco, and the UK.

Green Zone doesn't purport to be an accurate portrayal of the war in Iraq. Indeed, there is a sense of revisionist history and wishful thinking when it comes to the idea of a righteous soldier exposing the lies of his government. No, the film cements the tenant that it is the soldiers who bravely fight the wars that the politicians create. Perhaps, the most infuriating moment in Green Zone comes when Miller and his men (covered in sweat, sand, and grime) arrive at Saddam's former palace to find American VIPs lounging around the pool. After risking their lives in the desert, they are surrounded by politicians, contractors, and officials drinking margaritas and eating steaks.

Rating: *** ½ (*****)

Due Date

Due Date - Dir. Todd Phillips (2010)

Due Date had all the makings of a great comedy. It paired two talented actors on hot streaks in Robert Downey Jr. and Zach Galifianakis for a variation on Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. Plus, it was directed by Todd Phillips as the follow-up to The Hangover, the highest grossing R-rated comedy in the United States. Sadly, Due Date winds up being an uneven film that labors to get a few giggles.

Peter Highman (Downey) is a tightly wound architect waiting for his wife (Michelle Monaghan) to give birth to their first child. On a business trip to Atlanta, he plans to catch the next flight to Los Angeles with time to spare. Unfortunately, Peter bumps into the eccentric Ethan Tremblay (Zach Galifianakis), a wannabe actor accompanied by his French Bulldog named Sonny. Ethan was inspired to go to Hollywood because of Two and a Half Men. Through a series of kooky circumstances, Peter and Ethan get booted off the plane and placed on the no-fly list. Having lost his wallet and ID on the airline, Peter is forced to ride with Ethan across the country to get to L.A. All sorts of shenanigans occur due to Peter's hot temper and Ethan's stupidity.

Ethan takes them on a detour to buy pot from a trashy Juliette Lewis and falls asleep at the wheel causing their car to careen off a bridge. Peter spends most of the movie alternately being befuddled and infuriated by Ethan's strange behavior.

Due Date has a rough time getting off the ground because its lead characters have been pushed too extremely in their disparate personalities. Downey is great as the straight man, but Peter is simply an unlikable guy. He's thrown off the flight partly because he's acting like a jerk. When we first meet Peter, he's yakking away on his Bluetooth earpiece, something he does constantly. I don't know about anybody else, but when I see people like that, I immediately think, "Douche." He spits on a dog, punches a kid, and suspects his wife of having an affair with little reason. Then, there's Ethan who is just too much of an idiot. At least in The Hangover, Galifianakis was sympathetic. Here, he's moronic beyond reason to the point that someone like him would have zero chance of survival in real life. Ethan is a poster boy for the Darwin Awards.

There are some funny moments to be found such as a wild highway chase after an encounter at a Mexican border crossing. Downey also gets into a brawl with a game Danny McBride as a paraplegic war vet working at a Western Union. However, Phillips loses momentum when he goes for lame, gross-out gags like a scene where Ethan and his dog masturbate in sync next to an incredulous Peter. Speaking of the dog, Phillips brings the cheap heat by cutting to reaction shots of the squishy faced dog just so the audience can go, "Aww."

The Hangover may not have been to everyone's tastes, but it went for broke in the crass, sophomoric humor department. Due Date struggles to reach that same level of manic energy and succeeds in only generating a few scattered laughs.

Rating: **

Morning Glory

Morning Glory - Dir. Roger Michell (2010)

In the vein of Broadcast News comes Morning Glory, a slick and breezy comedy from director Roger Michell (Notting Hill), producer JJ Abrams (Lost, Star Trek), and screenwriter Aline Brosh McKenna, who previously turned her attention to the world of fashion with The Devil Wears Prada.

Rachel McAdams plays the plucky heroine in Becky Fuller, a news producer for the morning talk show, Good Morning, New Jersey. We're introduced to her during a dinner date in the middle of the afternoon (her work day starts at 1:30AM) and she spends most of her time trying not to answer her Blackberry. She's not the typical Type-A personality of rom-com trappings, but she's a workaholic. Despite her best efforts, Becky is laid off due to budget cuts. Her mom lectures her about finally getting a real job, despite the fact that Becky has only been unemployed for like 2 hours.

After a dizzying montage of phone calls, Becky moves to the hustle and bustle of the Big Apple when she becomes the executive producer for Daybreak, which airs on the struggling IBS Network. I'm sure somebody knew what they were doing when they matched the initials to Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Anyways, Daybreak is dead last in the ratings and it's up to the perennially perky Becky to turn things around. Her first order of business is firing the show's overly tanned co-anchor (a criminally underused Ty Burrell) due to his creepy foot fetish.

Becky finds a replacement in veteran newsman, Mike Pomeroy (Harrison Ford), who is currently content to sit at home and collect fat paychecks until his contract expires. Becky forces him onto Daybreak due to a loophole in legal mumbo jumbo. Pomeroy used to be IBS's Dan Rather, covering wars and interviewing heads of state, and he isn't about to do stories on baby chicks. He also refuses to say the word, "fluffy." Becky is run ragged as she deals with Pomeroy's uncontrollable ego, plummeting ratings, and a budding romance with another IBS producer (Patrick Wilson).

Diane Keaton co-stars as Colleen Peck (Diane Keaton), a former Miss Arizona whose own ego struggles for dominance over Pomeroy's. Morning Glory also features Jeff Goldblum as Becky's boss and cameos from 50 Cent and reporters Morley Safer and Bob Schieffer.

Much like the morning programs it pokes fun at; the movie is light with a tart, saccharine flavor. It's brightly colored and slickly shot picture that never digs deeper beyond the superficial. The romantic subplot is trite with the usual second act complication shoehorned in so the couple can split then make up during the final act.

Rachel McAdams is effervescent as Becky Fuller. She's one of the film's bright spots and is engaging enough to keep you somewhat interested in the stale narrative. Becky is a dash of Mary Tyler Moore and there are parallels to Marlo Thomas with McAdams running through New York City in slow motion as flocks of pigeons fly about her. But, McAdams is never given the material to grow beyond being a sitcom creation. It's also odd that Becky would cite Pomeroy as an inspiration, yet become so preoccupied with ratings and inconsequential puff pieces. I will give kudos to Roger Michell for throwing in a very nice butt shot of McAdams.

Harrison Ford is funny in a one-note performance as the crotchety curmudgeon, but, for a famed journalist, he barely registers above laconic when he's delivering serious news. Diane Keaton doesn't get much to do other than play Ford's foil and try to dance with 50 Cent. Ty Burrell is utterly wasted. He's only in about three scenes, but he's easily the best thing in the movie.

If you're looking for lightweight entertainment, you could do worse than Morning Glory. However, as a film set in the world of network news, it's hardly Network or even Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy.

Rating: **

Grown Ups

Grown Ups - Dir. Denis Dugan (2010)

I may be a cinephile, but I'm no stick in the mud. I admire the works of Bergman, Tarkovsky, and Carl Theodore Dreyer. Yet, I can also laugh at the genius of Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore, and The Waterboy. Sue me.

Over the years, Adam Sandler has attempted to stretch his acting muscles in roles that are drastically different from his usual shtick. Some are successful (Punch-Drunk Love) and others not so much (Reign Over Me). In Funny People, Sandler lampoons himself and his on-screen persona to surprisingly poignant effect. As the star and co-writer of Grown Ups, Sandler appears to fall back on old habits while mixing in a touch of the family friendly fare like Bedtime Stories.

Sandler reunites with his former Saturday Night Live cast mates as standout basketball players in junior high who have drifted apart over the years. Sandler is Lenny Feder, a big-time Hollywood agent. How do we know he's a Hollywood agent? Because when we first see him, he's shouting into his cell phone that he's a big-time Hollywood agent. Lenny is inexplicably married to Salma Hayek as Roxanne, a high class fashion designer. They've got three kids with the older sons being a pair of snotty, spoiled brats. Kevin James (in a role originally intended for the late-Chris Farley) is Eric Lamonsoff, the obligatory, fun loving fat guy. His wife, Sally (Maria Bello), still breastfeeds their son despite the fact that he's four. Chris Rock is Kurt McKenzie, the domesticated, stay-at-home husband to wife Deanne (Maya Rudolph). Rob Schneider is Rob, a vegan hippie with a fetish for older women, much older women. He's in a grotesquely risqué relationship with the septuagenarian Gloria (Joyce Van Patten). David Spade is Marcus Higgins, once again playing the smarmy ladies' man.

The old buddies are reunited following the death of their coach. Lenny rents a lake house for the Fourth of July weekend so they can reminisce. Meanwhile, the gang deals with the repeated challenges of their now adult opponents in the big championship. All sorts of shenanigans happen as everyone learns valuable lessons about life. The script co-written by Sandler and Fred Wolf (Joe Dirt) sets the tone for mawkish sentimentality right off the bat with a scene where Lenny's cutesy daughter tries to use the GPS to find heaven. Yet, they still have time to break out old-fashioned scatological humor. We get fart jokes, dog poop smeared into people's faces, adults peeing in a community pool, and Maya Rudolph sprayed with breast milk. The rest of the gags feel like in-jokes between the lead actors that the audience isn't let in on. Sandler and company insult and rib each other throughout the film, but it comes off as self-indulgent when Dugan continually cuts to reaction shots of the actors as they provide their own laugh track.

The film is built around immature humor, which is ironic for a film titled, Grown Ups. Still, the movie isn't a total loss thanks to a hilarious Steve Buscemi who pops in for a couple scenes. There's also an amusing exchange between Chris Rock and Tim Meadows as they argue over who is the town's black guy and who is the other black guy.

Rating: * ½

Couples Retreat

Couples Retreat - Dir. Peter Billingsley (2009)

Couples Retreat seems to have the making of a decent movie: a stellar cast, beautiful locales, and a script co-written by the guys who did Swingers. Instead, it winds up being a crashing bore.

Jason Bateman and Kristen Bell are an anal-retentive couple of yuppies who are having marriage troubles due to their inability to have a child. They discover a high-class, tropical retreat and convince their friends to attend so they can get a cheaper group rate. Everyone thinks it will be an extended vacation, but the maître d', Sctanley (Peter Serafinowicz), with a silent C, insists they all must participate in therapy sessions. Vince Vaughn and Malin Akerman are in a seemingly happy marriage, but cracks begin to form during counseling. Jon Favreau and Kristin Davis are the jock and cheerleader, high school sweethearts who married too early. Both spend more time hitting on other people than with each other. Faizon Love is recently divorced and overcompensates by dating a much younger woman (Kali Hawk) he can't keep up with.

Couples Retreat could have been an interesting piece about how the twentysomethings from Swingers deal with being fortysomething and married. Instead, it's toothless comedy mass marketed and test audienced until it becomes an innocuously bland lump. The script was co-written by Favreau and Vaughn (along with Dana Fox, What Happens in Vegas), but it has none of the bite of Swingers or Made. Vaughn sleepwalks through the movie using his stale wiseacre act as he tosses unfunny quips right and left. Jean Reno is reduced to being guy with a funny accent as the island's New Age guru. The movie can't even manage to elicit a subdued chuckle with Ken Jeong and John Michael Higgins as officious therapists.

The film's biggest and showiest set piece involves Vaughn challenging Sctanley to a round of Guitar Hero. References to the game were already dated before the movie was even released. That comes after we've already seen Favreau pop a boner and try to coax a happy ending out of his masseuse. There's also a running gag with Vaughn's son obliviously taking a dump in the show toilet of an IKEA. Yes, jokes about poop and masturbation and not even good ones to boot.

Shot on location in Bora Bora, Couples Retreat likely attracted an A-list cast who were mainly interested in getting a paid vacation. Outside of Kristin Davis in a bikini, there's nothing worthwhile to be found. The best thing I can say about the movie is that it was directed by Ralphie from A Christmas Story.

Rating: *

She's Out of My League

She's Out of My League - Dir. Jim Field Smith (2010)

You kinda wonder what went on in the lives of Sean Anders and John Morris when they wrote the screenplay for She's Out of My League. A schlubby guy falls for a smoking hot chick, winning her over from her alpha male boyfriend while humiliating his bitchy ex-girlfriend. It's pure nerd wish fulfillment.

Jay Baruchel is cast as the same guy he always plays, the stammering, gawky geek. Here, he's Kirk Kettner, a security officer at the Pittsburgh International Airport. He's still trying to get over being dumped by his ex, Marnie (Lindsay Sloane). To heap humiliation upon humiliation, Marnie and her new boyfriend, Ron (Hayes MacArthur), remain close to Kirk's parents and they are all planning a family vacation to that faraway land known as Branson, MO. Kirk hits it off with Molly (Alice Eve), a successful event planner, after returning her missing iPhone. Kirk's insecurities over their drastic differences in looks and social class threaten to end their unlikely romance. Not even his circle of ribald friends (Mike Vogel, TJ Miller, Nate Torrence) give him a chance in Hell. She's a 10 and he's a 5. How will it ever work out? Kirk also has to deal with Molly's former fighter pilot boyfriend, an insanely jealous Marnie, and his embarrassing family.

She's Out of My League plays like a Knocked Up knock-off. It's the type of film someone makes after watching the entire oeuvres of Judd Apatow and the Farrelly Brothers. League is littered with lowbrow gags that include nut shots, gay jokes, and a sequence that involves Baruchel getting his pubic hair shaved. Another scene revolves around Kirk ejaculating into his pants and trying to stop the dog from licking it. Just as the movie never moves beyond juvenile humor, the cast never moves beyond broad caricatures. For example, Debra Jo Rupp is cast as Kirk's mother, but she's basically reprising her role as the mom from That 70's Show. Baruchel is the same stammering beanpole he has in other pictures like Tropic Thunder. He isn't given the opportunity to imbue enough charm to his character in order to make the audience root for him.

Rating: * ½

Talk To Me

Talk To Me - Dir. Kasi Lemmons (2007)

Talk To Me is loosely based on the true life story of Ralph Waldo "Petey" Greene, a disc jockey during the 60´s and 70´s who some have called one of the original "shock jocks." However, to label Greene as such would be an oversimplification of the man and his life´s work. Greene was born in Washington DC and grew up in the predominantly black Georgetown. After dropping out of high school, Greene joined the Army and served in the Korean War before being discharged for drug use. He was sentenced to ten years in prison for armed robbery in 1960. While serving out his time, Greene doing announcements over the PA system and played records sent to him by his grandmother. This would lead him on the path to becoming a disc jockey, television personality, and outspoken rights activist.

The film begins with Dewey Hughes (Chiwetel Ejiofor), the programming director for the DC radio station WOL-AM, visiting his brother, Milo (Mike Epps), at Lorton Reformatory where he´s serving a life sentence. Their visit is less than cordial as Dewey really wants nothing to do with his brother and only visits as a promise to their mother. Milo has mentioned his brother to Petey (Don Cheadle) who wants a job at Dewey´s station. The fact that he´s in prison is only a minor challenge. Sure enough, Petey wins over the warden and time off for good behavior after talking down an inmate about to commit suicide. Turns out, Petey actually spent six months trying to convince the man to go through with his plan.

Fresh out of the joint, Petey strolls on into the WOL offices expecting a job handed to him on a silver plate. Instead, his brash behavior and colorful language mortify Dewey and enrage the station owner, E.G. Sonderling (Martin Sheen). Thrown out of the building, Petey calls Dewey a sell-out and gathers a group of protestors outside the lobby. Nicknamed derisively by Petey as Mr. Tibbs, Dewey puts him in his place during a game of pool as he reveals that he too grew up in the projects and never forgot where he came from. Dewey convinces a reluctant Sonderling to put Petey on the air only to fire him a scant few minutes later after Petey calls Barry Gordy, the head of Motown Records, a pimp. Petey & Dewey lock Sonderling in his office the following morning and sneak into the broadcast booth. When the station´s phone lines are flooded with calls, Sonderling agrees to hire Petey on a full-time basis, but with some reservations.

Petey becomes the talk of the town, but his career takes a real jumpstart after the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr. Seeing the city torn about by fires and riots, Petey returns to the station to plead for peace. Dewey sees big things in Petey´s future and they leave behind their tiny radio booth for the stand-up circuit and televised talk shows. It is at this point where the film makes a veers away from being a fascinating biopic to a becoming a tired fable about fame and celebrity. Petey becomes uncomfortable with the sudden attention and being pigeon holed as simply a stand-up comic. Dewey is oblivious and like a beauty pageant mother, pushes on, living out his own dreams through Petey. The tension between the two comes to a head as Petey walks off in the middle of an appearance on the Tonight Show. We watch as the pair goes their separate ways and eventually reconcile after years of estrangement. It´s a story that has been played out on the screen many times before, the recent Dreamgirls comes to mind.

Even with a lackluster second half, Talk To Me is worthy of a recommend thanks to an all-around strong cast. As Petey Greene, Don Cheadle easily conveys the bluster and swagger of his character, but it´s during the quieter, introspective moments that he truly shines. The movie starts off strong in the first half introducing us to its subject and using the radio booth as a microcosm of one of the most turbulent times in American history. However, it strays too far once it turns into a story about the downfall of a star.

Rating: **

Transformers

Transformers - Dir. Michael Bay (2007)

Any child of the 80's will remember how their Saturday mornings and after-school afternoons were spent watching mind numbing cartoons based around toylines. For girls, there was My Little Pony, Strawberry Shortcake, and Rainbow Brite. For the lads, there was G.I. Joe, Thundercats, He-Man, and Voltron. Without a doubt, one of the most popular franchises was Transformers. The concept was pretty simple. Boys love playing with cars and robots. What if they had a toy that was both? Hasbro bought the rights to several toylines in Japan and merged them into one brand for distribution in the States. They created an entire world of colorful characters with assistance from Marvel Comics and tasked Sunbow Productions with animating the TV show. Hasbro, Marvel, and Sunbow were also the Holy Trinity behind the G.I. Joe series. Over the next three decades, the original Transformers (dubbed by fans as G1 or Generation 1) would return in various incarnations like Beast Wars, Transformers: Armada, Robots in Disguise, and numerous shows that aired only in Japan. The original series was also spun-off into Transformers: The Movie, a feature film version that traumatized countless children due to the death of the heroic Optimus Prime.

Fans have clamored for a live-action adaptation and they finally got it thanks to Michael Bay, master of mayhem and entrepreneur of explosions. Bay knows how to construct spectacular action sequences (or at least he thinks he does) and screenwriters Roberto Orci & Alex Kurtzman have become Hollywood's go-to guys, but it was executive producer Steven Spielberg who knew how to crack the story. It was his idea to inject a little E.T. flavor to the film by making the movie revolve around the story of a boy and his car.

In this case, the boy is Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf), a dorky high schooler who has the hots for the insanely gorgeous Mikaela (Megan Fox). Hoping to make some extra cash to get a car, Sam sells paraphernalia belonging to his great-grandfather, a famous explorer. Among those items include a pair of glasses with a map etched into them that leads to a powerful source of energy known as the Cube. Two tribes of alien robots from outer space are after the Cube. The benevolent Autobots wish to use the Cube to restore their dying homeworld, Cybertron. The evil Decepticons want to use it to conquer the universe.

Transformers weaves together several plot threads with the central story being Sam and Mikaela making first contact with the Autobots. We also follow a detachment of American soldiers in the Middle East as they are being pursued by Decepticons. Finally, there's a subplot involving government officials investigating the possibilities of an alien invasion.

The cast also includes Josh Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson as two of the lead soldiers. Jon Voight co-stars as the Secretary of Defense with John Turturro as an eccentric man in black, and Aussie actress Rachael Taylor as the world's hottest computer analyst. Fans of the original cartoon will be pleased to hear Peter Cullen once again provide the voice for Optimus Prime. The late-Bernie Mac appears in a bit role as a car salesman while Hugo Weaving is the voice of Decepticon leader, Megatron.

As the director of shlock like Bad Boys and The Rock, Michael Bay was probably as good a choice as any to helm a movie about giant robots. The action sequences are chaotic and loud enough to make the toughest ears bleed. The special effects by ILM are impeccable and there's never a moment when the Transformers looked phony. The transformation sequences are incredibly detailed with shifting panels and whirling cogs. While the visuals are amazing, the story leaves much to be desired.

First of all, the film is called Transformers, not 'Lame Humans We Don't Care About.' The picture spends far too much time with bland cardboard characters, despite the fact that the Transformers are far more interesting. Many of the scenes involving different government departments could have been cut and the less said about Anthony Anderson's annoying hacker, the better. Speaking of which, what is it with Michael Bay and juvenile humor? Black people always seem to be wacky comic relief in his films. If I go to see a movie about giant robots, I want to see them smashing stuff, I don't want to see them spend ten minutes playing hide and seek while a dog pees on one of them. Finally, who came up with the brilliant strategy of leading the death metal robots into a heavily crowded city in the middle of the day?

MICHAEL BAY RAPED MY CHILDHOOD!!! That was the rallying cry for Transfans the world over after Transformers hit theaters. It can still be heard to this day. Optimus Prime has flame decals. Michael Bay raped my childhood! Bumblebee is a Camaro. Michael Bay raped my childhood! While I wouldn't break out the torches and pitchforks, I will say Bay's Transformers is all sound and fury with a distinct lack of substance.

Rating: ** ½

Megamind

Megamind - Dir. Todd McGrath (2010)

Dreamworks Animation always seems to play second banana to the juggernaut known as Pixar. It's not surprising that Katzenberg and company would be drawn to the story of an ingenious protagonist forced to constantly live in the shadow of a more popular rival.

Will Ferrell heads the all-star cast as the titular Megamind, a blue-skinned, cranially-enhanced supervillain who has plagued Metro City for years. The one person who stands in the way of Megamind's quest for world domination is the heroic and square-jawed Metro Man (Brad Pitt). Their feud has been raging since they were babies. On a far away planet, a couple launches their infant son towards the Earth in a rocketship shortly before their solar system is destroyed by a collapsing star. Meanwhile, another couple on a nearby planet has the same idea. Baby Metro Man lands safe and sound in an opulent mansion where he is raised by loving parents. Baby Megamind's ship is knocked off course and lands in a prison yard. There, the inmates teach the young lad their own twisted sense of right and wrong. Their rivalry extended to grade school as young Metro Man is praised by his classmates and teacher while young Megamind gets quiet time in the corner due to his malfunctioning inventions.

Cut to present day where Metro Man is honored by Metro City with the grand opening of a Metro Man museum. The festivities are interrupted when Megamind once again abducts news reporter Roxanne Ritchi (Tina Fey). As the Lois Lane of the story, she's grown a blasé attitude to playing the damsel in distress, especially knowing Megamind always loses. That is, until now. Megamind traps Metro Man inside a dome made out of copper, which turns out to be the superhero's one weakness. A death ray fires from above and blasts Metro Man into smithereens.

Along with his right-hand fish, Minion (David Cross), a talking piranha who moves about in a robotic gorilla suit, Megamind struts through the streets of Metro City to the tune of AC/DC's "Highway to Hell." However, his elation turns into a melancholy funk when he realizes evil isn't as much fun without someone to challenge him. Megamind devises a scheme to create a new costumed do-gooder to replace Metro Man. The plan goes predictably awry after Roxanne's goofball cameraman, Hal Stewart (Jonah Hill), is given superpowers. Now known as Titan (though he misspells it as 'Tighten'), Hal decides that destroying the city would be way more cool. Thus, Megamind is forced into the unfamiliar territory of playing the good guy.

Just as Shrek had a fractured take on fairy tales, Megamind plays fast and loose with the conventions of the superhero genre. Director Tom McGrath ("Madagascar") and screenwriters Alan J. Schoolcraft and Brent Simons crib the Superman mythos frequently, from the opening origin sequence to the archetypes of the main characters. Ferrell even gets to riff on Marlon Brando as Jor-El when he dons a holographic disguise to play Tighten's "Space Dad." The disguise looks more like Ted Kennedy with a pompadour than it does the late-Brando though. Comic book heroes aren't the only ones to get jabbed as the writers sprinkle plenty of pop culture references into the film. Some are obscure (Minion's body is meant to evoke the 1953 B-movie Robot Monster, the name Hal Stewart refers to two popular Green Lanterns) and others will get a chuckle (there's a twisted take on the iconic Obama posters and a quick Donkey Kong inspired action scene), but most fall flat, such as a final dance montage set to Michael Jackson's "Bad." Do all of Dreamworks' animated movies have to end with a dance party?

The story may not be particularly captivating, but the animation in Megamind is exceptional and the character designs are reminiscent of Monsters vs. Aliens. I found myself noticing minor details that I normally don't such as skin tones and the sheen of Megamind's bald, blue skull. Another scene featuring Metro Man flying between the skyscrapers of Metro City is almost breathtaking as are the action sequences. The titanic tussles cause mass destruction and it is all exceptionally detailed. The color palette of Megamind still managed to be bright and sharp, despite the fact that the 3D process tends to dull the images. While I'm not a huge proponent of 3D, the work here is very well done. The animators have created a clear depth of field without the 3D becoming obtrusive.

Megamind features some lush visuals and if eye candy is what you crave, I'd say see it at a theater armed with an excellent 3D projector. The kiddies will likely have a good time as evidenced by the happy rugrats that attended the same screening as I did. However, if you're looking for substance over style and you don't have children, then Megamind should be considered rental material. The animation is great and the voice work solid (with Ferrell bringing his trademark inflections and humor), but the script substitutes real jokes with the same type of tired pop culture references that sunk another Dreamworks' production, Shark Tale.

Pixar already said all there needed to be said about animated superhero movies with The Incredibles. In terms of 'supervillain turned good' movies, Megamind pales in comparison to Universal's Despicable Me. Ranking Dreamworks' 2010 slate, Megamind rates well above Shrek Forever After, but fails to reach the quality of How to Train Your Dragon, one of the year's best films. A mish-mash of unrealized ideas, Megamind lacks the heart and the wit to truly succeed on those levels.

Rating: **

Going the Distance

Going the Distance - Dir. Nanette Burstein (2010)

Is there a genre more asinine than the modern romantic comedy? I don't have anything against the rom-com in general; I just have an aversion to the copious amounts of crap churned out by studio execs and filmmakers who seem to construct from a stock set of elements. Going the Distance attempts to change up the staid formula while still incorporating frequent clichés with an Apatow-style sense of lowbrow humor.

Justin Long is Garrett, a low-level talent scout for a rinky dink record label in New York City. He's just been dumped by his girlfriend (Leighton Meester) and decides to go out on the town with his buddies Box (Jason Sudeikis) and Dan (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia's Charlie Day). He meets Erin (Drew Barrymore), an aspiring journalist, over a game of Centipede. She wants to keep the relationship light because she's only in the city temporarily as a summer intern for the fictional New York Sentinel. However, Garrett doesn’t want to end things so quickly even after Erin has takes a job in San Francisco. The young lovers attempt to make it work long distance via text messages, Skype, and a very awkward session of phone sex. The usual insecurities and frustrations begin creeping in to threaten their relationship.

Going the Distance is the first produced script by Geoff LaTulippe who wrote it after learning of producer Dave Neustadter's own long distance relationship. LaTulippe tries to address the poor economy with Erin and Garrett unable to scrap the funds to fly out to see each other while working in dying industries. The film also marks the first narrative picture from documentarian Nanette Burstein who directed The Kid Stays in the Picture and American Teen. For the most part, Burstein's direction is perfectly pedestrian though it didn't need to be anything more. Some shots during a dating montage do have a documentary feel turning the audience into mere observers.

Some think that real-life couples don't translate well to the screen, but Long and Barrymore have good chemistry together. Both play characters that are merely extensions of themselves and their previous characters, Long as the wise-cracking geek and Barrymore as the free-spirit. Christina Applegate brings the funny as Erin's overprotective sister with the understated and dry wit of Jim Gaffigan as her husband.

At the very least, Going the Distance avoids the usual contrivances that come up as setbacks. One's uptight, one's spontaneous. How will it ever work out? Yet, the movie is still cluttered with the ubiquitous detritus that comes with your average romantic comedy. There's the obligatory airport scene where the man rushes through the terminal to catch his lady love although, this one takes place at the end of the first act rather than the climax. Sudeikis and Day fulfill the roles of the protagonist's wacky best friends. The humor fails to elicit anything as slight as a chuckle or a smirk. There's a labored slapstick sequence involving Long at a tanning salon, a gag that was already done on Friends years ago. The film gets worse with a scene where Applegate picks pubic hair off her dining room table after a late-night session of sex by Erin & Garrett. Just when you think they couldn't sink any lower, here comes the Hitler joke.

Going the Distance is leaps and bounds above god-awful atrocities like The Ugly Truth and Did You Hear About the Morgans? thanks to a pair of likeable leads. But, it fails to place them in anything that is remotely interesting or humorous.

Rating: * ½

Leaves of Grass

Leaves of Grass - Dir. Tim Blake Nelson (2010)

An actor playing his own twin is a tricky proposition. Some actors can't pull it off, for example Jean-Claude Van Damme in Double Impact. Some pull it off with flying colors, Jeremy Irons in Dead Ringers and Nic Cage in Adaptation come to mind. Edward Norton is more than capable of playing dual roles, even if the film isn't on the level of his talents.

Norton stars as Bill Kincaid, a professor of classical philosophy at Brown. He's a well-respected scholar and has an offer to head up his own department at Harvard. Bill's life takes a severe left turn when he receives word that his twin brother, Brady (also Norton), was murdered. Shot by a crossbow to be exact. Bill is actually from a Podunk town in Oklahoma called Little Dixie. He considers his background and family rather embarrassing.

Arriving home for the first time in years, Bill is shocked to find Brady is still alive, his fake death a ruse to lure him back. He may not act like it, but Brady is just as smart as his more articulate brother. While Bill has devoted his life to academia, Brady has devoted his life to marijuana. He grows copious amounts of pot using a high-tech system of hydroponics he designed himself. He needs Bill to go around town pretending to be him to establish an alibi. Brady is off to Tulsa to meet with a crooked Jewish businessman named Tug Rothbaum (Richard Dreyfuss), who is owed a substantial sum for financing Brady's operation.

Writer/Director Tim Blake Nelson co-stars as Bolger, Brady's right-hand man. The cast also includes: Susan Sarandon as Bill's estranged mother, Melanie Lynskey as Brady's pregnant girlfriend, Modern Family's Ty Burrell as a Harvard administrator, and singer/songwriter Steve Earle as a rival drug dealer.

As the twin leads, Norton is very good. He's more or less himself as the intellectual Bill. As Brady, he's more a caricature than a real character, but no less entertaining. Norton affects a cartoonish southern drawl and a quicker speech tempo to define him.

The film's failings lie not with the actors, but with Nelson's script, which attempts to merge disparate elements into a dysfunctional narrative. Leaves of Grass starts off as something akin to a quirky indie movie crossed with a stoner comedy. The story unfolds in a laidback manner as Bill reconnects with his family and friends. He engages in a sweet romance with the bubbly Keri Russell as a high school teacher who quotes Walt Whitman and wrestles 50lbs. catfish. Their scenes are some of the best in the film. The second half of the picture veers into darker territory with the introduction of death and violence. The dramatic turn doesn't gel with the light-hearted moments that were previously seen.

It seemed as if Tim Blake Nelson (who starred in O Brother, Where Art Thou) was going for a Coen Brothers feel with the black humor and criminal subplots. A dash of Fargo and a sprinkling of Raising Arizona, I suppose. As a fanboy, I thought it was cool that Norton was reunited with two of his Incredible Hulk cast members, but there's not enough to the movie to earn it a recommendation. The drastic tonal shifts make Leaves of Grass an uneven blend without potency.

Rating: * ½

Saint John of Las Vegas

Saint John of Las Vegas - Dir. Hue Rhodes (2010)

Next to Christopher Walken, Steve Buscemi has to be my favorite character actor ever. His unconventional facial features and unique inflections make him stand out from the majority of actors working today. He's had so many memorable roles: Fargo, Reservoir Dogs, The Big Lebowski, Ghost World, and a dramatic turn in last year's The Messenger. No matter how bad a movie is, you can at least depend on Buscemi to be entertaining. Never has he had to work so hard to make such subpar material work than with Saint John of Las Vegas.

Saint John marks the feature debut of writer/director Hue Rhodes who took inspiration for the movie from Dante's Inferno. Buscemi plays John Alighieri, a former compulsive gambler now working as a claims adjuster for an insurance company in Albuquerque. He's engaged in a relationship with perky co-worker, Jill (Sarah Silverman), who has an infatuation with smiley faces and is carrying on an affair with their boss, Mr. Townsend (Peter Dinklage).

After bucking for a raise and a promotion, John winds up being sent on the road to investigate the claim of a stripper named Tasty D. Lite (Emmanuelle Chriqui), who lives outside of Vegas. She was supposedly left confined to a wheelchair with a neckbrace following a rear collision with another car. John is paired up with a veteran investigator in Virgil (Romany Malco). John is apprehensive about all this because he fears he will fall back into old habits the closer he gets to Sin City. While on the road, John and Virgil encounter all sorts of oddballs, such as a nudist colony of gun toting cowboys and a carnival worker (John Cho) sealed inside a flame-retardant suit. His scenes are as witty as the film gets to referencing Dante. No one can help the poor guy until the incendiary rig he's hooked up to, which engulfs him in flames every few minutes, runs out of fuel. Ironically, all he really wants is a cigarette.

Saint John has a hard time focusing on what it wants to be. The beginning of the movie has potential to be an amusing work place comedy ala Office Space due to the eccentricities of John and his co-workers. However, the rest of the film unfolds as a derivative indie road movie. The run-ins with all these strange characters are supposed to suggest the various Circles of Hell described by Dante, each one representing Limbo, Lust, Gluttony, etc. This is all well and good, if not for the fact that there is no flow in the story. The plot feels like a series of random vignettes tied loosely together without any sense of cohesion. There's not a strong enough character arc to carry the audience through the journey either. It's all just quirky for quirky's sake.

It's a credit to Buscemi's wealth of talent that he's able to make Saint John vaguely watchable. Peter Dinklage and Sarah Silverman are also very good in their supporting roles. Buscemi's sourpuss act contrasts well with Silverman's sunny disposition. But, they aren't enough to make Saint John of Las Vegas worth your time.

Rating: * ½

Paper Man

Paper Man - Dirs. Kieran & Michelle Mulroney (2010)

Indie films sure love odd, emotionally damaged characters. First-time filmmakers Kieran & Michelle Mulroney throw their lot into the mix with Paper Man, which started as a script they workshopped at the Sundance Institute.

Jeff Daniels plays Richard Dunn, an author struggling to write his second novel, a book about the extinction of the heath hens. His wife (Lisa Kudrow), a successful vascular surgeon, rents him a cottage in a seaside town in Long Island to give him a chance to clear his writer's block and a break from their rocky marriage. However, Dunn spends most of his time wallowing in self-pity and talking to his childhood imaginary friend, Captain Excellent (Ryan Reynolds), a garishly-clad superhero. He also builds a couch out of copies of his first novel and rides around on a children's bike because it's all so wacky. Dunn bumps into the resident brooding teenager in Abby (Emma Stone), who has a mopey best friend (Kieran Culkan) and a Neanderthal for a boyfriend (Hunter Parrish). He hires Abby to be his babysitter for the night, despite the fact that he has no kids. When Abby learns the truth, she shrugs it off as well as any form of common sense. And thus begins a strange and platonic friendship between two fellow outsiders.

Paper Man is like a patchwork cobbling of Lost in Translation with a 21st century hipster version of Harvey. It's filled with indie movie clichés like the quirky, paper-cut title sequence and the Elliot Smith-esque, sullen guitar score. Daniels is solid in the lead, but he's already portrayed the stunted, intellectual writer in The Squid and the Whale and The Answer Man. We're supposed to feel for his crumbling marriage, but it's a difficult proposition to sympathize with a couple of whiny, well-off Manhattanites. Emma Stone basically plays the Kat Dennings/Olivia Thilrby role. To her credit, she brings a warmth and soulfulness to an ironically paper thin and stereotypical character.

Ryan Reynolds certainly looks the part of a superhero with his bleached blonde hair and goofy looking tights. He does his best, but the Captain Excellent scenes are just a car wreck. They are just astoundingly unfunny and simply shoehorned into the narrative. He could have easily been cut from the picture, if not for the fact that the Mulroneys deemed it necessary to add another eccentric layer to their film.

Paper Man deserves to be tossed into the recycling bin. It recycled ideas from better movies without capturing any sense of raw emotion.

Rating: * ½