Hit & Run

Hit & Run - Dirs. Dax Shepard & David Palmer (2012)

Dax Shepard is hardly a household name, but the actor has made a career out of supporting roles in comedies like Baby Mama, Idiocracy, and When in Rome. He was also the lead in Jon Favreau's underrated Zathura, a sort-of sequel to Jumanji. Shepard has recently made the jump to a multi-hyphenate as the star, producer, writer, and co-director with David Palmer of his own movies. His first picture was a mockumentary entitled Brother's Justice, which followed Shepard's attempts at transforming himself into a bona fide action star. His second feature is Hit & Run, an action-comedy shot on the low-budget of $2 million.

Shepard plays Yul Perrkins, a former getaway driver who is now living in Witness Protection under the alias of Charlie Bronson. He got the name from the infamous British convict (featured in Nichols Winding Refn's film Bronson) who in turn got his name from the famed actor. Charlie's sweet-natured girlfriend, Annie (Kristen Bell), has a Master's degree in Non-Violent Conflict Resolution, a major she created for herself. She gets the opportunity to head up her own department at UCLA, but almost doesn't take it since Charlie cannot leave skip town due to the terms of his relocation. But, Charlie doesn't care and busts out his old '67 Lincoln Continental for a cross-country road trip.

Too bad Charlie's placement in WITSEC is one of the worst kept secrets ever. Annie's jealous ex-boyfriend, Gil (Michael Rosenbaum), runs a background check on Charlie and discovers his secret identity. While chasing off after them, Gil contacts Charlie's former partner, Alex Dimitri (a dreadlocked Bradley Cooper), who went to prison because of Charlie's testimony. Also hot on their trail are Randy Anderson (Tom Arnold), the bumbling U.S. Marshal assigned to protect Charlie, and Gil's brother Terry (Jess Rowland), a sheriff's deputy.

With Hit & Run, Shepard aspired to make a throwback to classic car chase pictures like Smokey and the Bandit. The DIY nature of the production is reminiscent of a less ambitious version of Gone in 60 Seconds. The cast consists of Shepard's friends in the acting community and his real-life fiancée Kristen Bell. Shepard also performed his own stunt driving. Charlie's Continental along with a dune buggy were taken from Shepard's own car collection. Despite best intentions, Hit & Run never leaps off the screen.

The car chases aren't at all exciting. The only moment that exudes any visual inventiveness is a slow motion tire burn out set to a cover version of "Pure Imagination" from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. The comedy is thoroughly strained with one of the film's central jokes being the ethnicity of the convict who raped Dimitri in prison. The rest of the puerile humor revolves around a room full of naked old people and a Grindr-esque iPhone app for homosexual rendezvous.

Hit and Run is a listless comedy stuck in neutral while desperately wishing it was doing a hundred down the interstate.

Rating: * (*****)

Big Miracle

Big Miracle - Dir. Ken Kwapis (2012)

Big Miracle is based on the 1989 non-fiction book, Freeing the Whales: How the Media Created the World's Greatest Non-Event by Tom Rose, which in turn was based on the real-life events surrounding Operation Breakthrough. In the previous year, three gray whales became trapped by ice near the coastal town of Point Barrow, Alaska. The story went viral before there ever was such a thing as news programs across the country picked it up. Universal's Big Miracle is the largely fictionalized version of the international efforts to rescue these poor creatures.

John Krasinski stars as Adam Carlson, a news reporter in Barrow with aspirations of moving on up to bigger markets in the lower 48 states. He's the first to report on a family of whales, who have been nicknamed Fred, Wilma, and Bamm Bamm. The baby isn't Pebbles because he's a boy, you see. The whales are surrounded by ice and will die if they don't get free. When everybody from Tom Brokaw to Dan Rather run Adam's story, Barrow is flooded with journalists and folks from all walks of life hoping to lend a hand. Most of them have their own selfish reasons for joining in.

Oil executive J.W. McGraw (Ted Danson), who sees the rescue as good P.R. and a gateway to open a wildlife refuge for drilling. White House aide Kelly Myers (Vinessa Shaw) looks to polish the legacy of the Reagan administration while building momentum for a run by Vice-President Bush. Both have tasked Col. Scott Boyer (Dermot Mulroney) of the National Guard to tow a hover barge from one of McGraw's stations via helicopter. Boyer is just following orders and doesn't care much about the whales, especially since they aren't killer whales. One of the few to contribute out of the goodness of her own heart is Rachel Kramer (Drew Barrymore), a Greenpeace activist and Adam's former girlfriend. Soon, the townsfolk, the people of the Inupiat tribe, and even the Russians form an unlikely alliance to save the trio of whales.

Big Miracle comes to us from director Ken Kwapis, who previously helmed the ensemble rom-com He's Just Not That Into You and the tween-lit adaptation The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, is used to juggling a myriad of storylines. He does so again to the detriment of Big Miracle, which is bogged down by too many superfluous subplots. There's a love triangle brewing between Adam, Rachel, and a big city reporter played by Kristen Bell as well as another love story involving Col. Boyer and Kelly Myers. Newcomer Ahmaogak Sweeney appears as an Inupiat boy named Nathan. His narration bookends the film, but he's a minor character at best.

Screenwriters Jack Amiel and Michael Berger have drawn their cast of characters in very broad strokes. Everyone is earnest and one-dimensional. John Krasinski fares the worst. The funnyman from The Office is a white bread bore as the lead protagonist. Ted Danson's oil exec seems as if he's mainly there as a counterpoint to the all the conservative pundits complaining about the portrayal of big business in films such as The Muppets and The Lorax. On the other hand, Drew Barrymore's Rachel represents all the worst of stereotypes of the granola munching eco-movement. She's a heartfelt firebrand, but also pedantic and myopic. She's more than willing to pain the Inupiat tribe as a bunch of whale slaughtering backwoods barbarians. According to the film, they're merely salt of the earth (or snow) people ready to dispense sage advice when necessary to plot advancement.

The true miracle of Big Miracle is the wealth of supporting actors that work diligently to keep the picture from completely sinking into the icy depths. Stephen Root plays the Alaskan governor, who is initially dismissive of the whale rescue until it captures the public eye. John Michael Higgins is funny as a smarmy anchorman. Rob Riggle and James LeGros are highlights as a pair of brothers from Minnesota, who arrive with a de-icing machine of their own invention. It's as if they made a wrong turn on their way to the set of Fargo. Also, be on the look out for Kathy Baker, Bruce Altman, Shea Whigham, Jonathan Slavin, and Tim Blake Nelson.

Big Miracle was released in February during the blasé months of the Hollywood release schedule where it earned a paltry $24.7 million worldwide. Perhaps, the world has grown too cynical for a simplistic, heartwarming tale. Is there anything miraculous to be found in Big Miracle? No, but it is wholesome, family-friendly entertainment.

Rating: * ½ (*****)

Scream 4

Scream 4 - Dir. Wes Craven (2011)

”You forgot the first rule of remakes…don’t fuck with the original.”

It's been fifteen years since a creepy voice over the phone asked a terrified Drew Barrymore if she liked scary movies. When Scream hit theaters in 1996, it revitalized the slasher genre, spawning two sequels and a litany of knockoff franchises. A decade has passed since the last installment and I doubt there was a huge demand for another Scream, aside from the Weinsteins. The former heads of Miramax have been looking to milk the cash cow of their previous successes. Scream 4 is the first of many sequels to come with a new Spy Kids coming out later in the summer as well as spinoffs of everything from Rounders to Shakespeare in Love in development.

Neve Campbell is back once more as tormented heroine, Sidney Prescott, who returns to her hometown of Woodsboro on a promotional tour for her memoirs. No sooner does Sidney arrive then a new Ghostface emerges to hack and slash his way through a smorgasbord of good-looking victims. Also returning for this latest R-rated Scooby Doo mystery is reporter Gale Weathers (Courteney Cox), who is still adjusting to small town life as the wife of Dewey (David Arquette), now the sheriff of Woodsboro. New to the film series are Sidney's cousin, Jill (Emma Roberts), and her best friend, Kirby (Hayden Panettiere), as one of the hottest horror movie aficionados ever. Replacing the late-Randy Meeks are Robbie (Eric Knudsen) and Charlie (Rory Culkin), two geeks who run the high school film club and record everything 24/7 with their webcam.

What set the original Scream apart from its pale imitators was the clever screenplay by Kevin Williamson, which played with the conventions of the horror genre. The movie was filled with self-aware characters ironically commenting on the very clichés they were occurring around them. It's not too much of a surprise that Wes Craven was drawn to the production as Scream came out two years after Wes Craven's New Nightmare, a meta-textual sequel in which Freddy Krueger stalked the cast and crew behind the movies.

After skipping out on the last picture, Williamson is back on scripting duties though Ehren Kruger (who penned Scream 3 in his absence) was brought on for last-minute rewrites. The final product still bares the Scream trademarks of self-aware humor, walking a thin line between satire and horror. A lot has changed since the initial film and Scream 4 attempts to address everything from the current state of horror movies to new technologies. Craven and company spread themselves too thin trying to tackle so many topics and come up short each time.

There are brief mentions about the lack of originality in Hollywood, the spate of remakes, and the rise of torture porn. At one point, Kirby lists nearly every major horror movie that has been remade in the past few years. Empty name-dropping seems to be the best they could do. One character comments that the old rules have changed, the kills have to be much more extreme. However, the kills in Scream 4 aren't very extreme or unique. Ghostface follows the same M.O. as always stalking unsuspecting victims then gutting them with a butcher knife. There are multiple scenes of victims running up staircases and kicking away their attacker.

As a part of the YouTube Generation, the young characters of Scream 4 are far savvier about technology than their predecessors. Everyone has an iPhone, but most of the gags about webcams and internet streaming feel like they were written five years ago. Not to mention these sorts of things have already been touched upon in other (inferior) movies like Halloween: Resurrection and FeardotCom. The one bit that does work involves a Ghostface App that allows callers to disguise their voice as the infamous murderer.

The filmmakers also try too hard to maintain the meta-textual elements that had already been exhausted by the previous installments. Characters drop remarks about how this is the point in the movie where everyone feels they're safe until the killer shows himself. And what do you know; everyone feels they're safe until the killer shows himself. There's an underlying layer involving the film's starlets, Neve Campbell and Courteney Cox. Their characters have become inexorably linked to the events of the original film and have yet to move past them. In particular, Gale Weathers has yet to break a new story to surpass the first Woodsboro murders. The actresses themselves have yet to achieve the movie star status predicted by many following the original Scream. The script also throws in a few heavy-handed comments about established stars who have earned their fame and the newcomers who have undeserved done so through viral marketing and reality television.

Scream 4 is also rife with plot holes and it's difficult to tell if the writers got sloppy or if they were an intentional callback to its inspirations. Where exactly are the parents? Evidently, the perfect time to leave your kids alone is when a maniac killer is on the loose. How does the killer get around so quickly on foot? Meanwhile, how do the cops never arrive in time despite driving around in police vehicles? Then again, considering the police department is run by David Arquette…

Most of the script problems can be forgiven due to a quality ensemble with many of them giving fantastic performances. The two best performances come from Hayden Panettiere and Alison Brie from Community and Mad Men. Sporting a short hairdo, Panettiere is wonderful as the sexy and sassy Kirby. She's the best she's ever looked. Brie goes for the gusto as Sidney's snarky, opportunistic publicist. Also good is Marley Shelton in a small role as spunky deputy with a crush on Dewey, of all people. You don't feel too bad when she meets an inevitably grisly fate. As the franchise's holy triumvirate, Campbell, Cox, and Arquette have become old hat at playing their characters and some of the most noteworthy scenes involve the three of them. There's also a cool opening sequence of false starts featuring a bevy of young beauties like Aimee Teegarden, Kristen Bell, and Anna Paquin.

Scream 4 does feel like the same old routine, despite promises of new decade, new rules. It may not be perfect, but it is a fun popcorn film that plays out more like a dark comedy than a straight horror movie. It largely ignores the events of the second and third pictures, making it a true sequel in spirit to the original.

Rating: *** (*****)

SPOILER WARNING: My thoughts on the ending in the comments section.

Burlesque

Burlesque - Dir. Steve Antin (2010)

When pop stars break into acting, it's usually not a pretty sight. One need not look any further than Mariah Carey in Glitter or Britney Spears in Crossroads. Christina Aguilera's big screen debut may not be very memorable, but it isn't nearly as dreadful.

The one-time Mouseketeer plays Ali, a small town girl from Iowa who hops on the bus to Los Angeles to fulfill her dreams of stardom. She pounds pavement going from one fruitless audition to another until she comes across The Burlesque Lounge on the Sunset Strip. She's immediately floored by the exquisite costumes and elaborate dance numbers. Ali is desperate for a job there, but is turned down flat by the club's owner Tess (Cher). She finds some sympathy from Tess's gay best friend, Sean (Stanley Tucci), and the handsome bartender, Jack (Cam Gigandet), who gives her a job as a waitress. She eventually impresses Tess enough to become a dancer, earning enmity from the club's previous centerpiece, the jealous and alcoholic Nikki (Kristen Bell). The girls, with the exception of Tess, are called on to merely lip synch the tunes. An act of sabotage by Nikki backfires allowing Ali to show off her "mutant lungs" for a rendition of Etta James' "Tough Lover." Just like that she becomes the new star attraction.

Meanwhile, Tess is fighting to save the club when she falls behind on mortgage payments. Her ex-husband and business partner, Vince (Peter Gallagher), is pressuring her to sell out to real estate mogul, Marcus Gerber (Eric Dane). The exceedingly rich Marcus has his eyes on not just the club, but on Ali as well. Our plucky heroine is ensnared in a love triangle between the kind-hearted Jack and the high life that only Marcus can give her.

Burlesque was directed by Steve Antin, the brother of Pussycat Dolls founder, Robin Antin. It's clear where Antin's influences lie as he apes Bob Fosse and Rob Marshall in the staging of his dance numbers. These are showy sequences reminiscent of Cabaret and Chicago. Speaking of which Alan Cumming, who played the Emcee in the 1998 Broadway production of Cabaret, essentially reprises the role here in a glorified cameo. The guys at the Lounge wear bowlers and eyeliner while looking like metrosexual versions of the Droogs from A Clockwork Orange. Though the film is called Burlesque and is set in a burlesque club, there's not a lot of actual burlesque involved aside from a toned down fan dance. Nobody gets naked and the outfits stay well within the realm of the PG-13 rating.

Antin also received sole credit for the screenplay, which was worked on at various times by Diablo Cody (Juno), Susannah Grant (Erin Brockovich), and John Patrick Shanley (Moonstruck, which earned Cher an Oscar for Best Actress). The results are a hodgepodge of clichés as we follow the journey of a young waif through the seductive world of Hollywood. It's predictable and chock full of corny lines like, "I held back your hair while you threw up everything, but your memories." There's an earnestness to each scene as everyone takes things deadly serious rather than playing up the obvious camp qualities.

Nobody goes to see a movie like Burlesque for a deeply moving script, they go for the music. Aguilera and Cher are more than capable of carrying the soundtrack with their powerful vocals, but the songs themselves don't feel worthy of their talents. None of them stick in your head or have you humming them on the drive home. The only tune that sticks out is an odd concoction that samples Marilyn Manson's "Beautiful People."

As the lead, Aguilera is never called upon to do anything demanding in terms of acting. She's there to sing, dance, and look good. Don't expect a transformation from Plain Jane, she's glamorous from the beginning and becomes even more glamorous as the film progresses. However, Burlesque utterly belongs to Cher and Stanley Tucci, who steal the movie whenever they're onscreen together.

While your intrepid film critic was unimpressed by the trite Burlesque, some of my fellow audience members were hooting and hollering at the garish spectacle. This one is strictly for fans of Xtina and Cher.

Rating: * ½ (*****)

Couples Retreat

Couples Retreat - Dir. Peter Billingsley (2009)

Couples Retreat seems to have the making of a decent movie: a stellar cast, beautiful locales, and a script co-written by the guys who did Swingers. Instead, it winds up being a crashing bore.

Jason Bateman and Kristen Bell are an anal-retentive couple of yuppies who are having marriage troubles due to their inability to have a child. They discover a high-class, tropical retreat and convince their friends to attend so they can get a cheaper group rate. Everyone thinks it will be an extended vacation, but the maître d', Sctanley (Peter Serafinowicz), with a silent C, insists they all must participate in therapy sessions. Vince Vaughn and Malin Akerman are in a seemingly happy marriage, but cracks begin to form during counseling. Jon Favreau and Kristin Davis are the jock and cheerleader, high school sweethearts who married too early. Both spend more time hitting on other people than with each other. Faizon Love is recently divorced and overcompensates by dating a much younger woman (Kali Hawk) he can't keep up with.

Couples Retreat could have been an interesting piece about how the twentysomethings from Swingers deal with being fortysomething and married. Instead, it's toothless comedy mass marketed and test audienced until it becomes an innocuously bland lump. The script was co-written by Favreau and Vaughn (along with Dana Fox, What Happens in Vegas), but it has none of the bite of Swingers or Made. Vaughn sleepwalks through the movie using his stale wiseacre act as he tosses unfunny quips right and left. Jean Reno is reduced to being guy with a funny accent as the island's New Age guru. The movie can't even manage to elicit a subdued chuckle with Ken Jeong and John Michael Higgins as officious therapists.

The film's biggest and showiest set piece involves Vaughn challenging Sctanley to a round of Guitar Hero. References to the game were already dated before the movie was even released. That comes after we've already seen Favreau pop a boner and try to coax a happy ending out of his masseuse. There's also a running gag with Vaughn's son obliviously taking a dump in the show toilet of an IKEA. Yes, jokes about poop and masturbation and not even good ones to boot.

Shot on location in Bora Bora, Couples Retreat likely attracted an A-list cast who were mainly interested in getting a paid vacation. Outside of Kristin Davis in a bikini, there's nothing worthwhile to be found. The best thing I can say about the movie is that it was directed by Ralphie from A Christmas Story.

Rating: *

Get Him to the Greek

Get Him to the Greek - Dir. Nicholas Stoller (2010)


Pushed out by the Judd Apatow comedy factory, Forgetting Sarah Marshall was a nice shot in the arm to the staid romantic comedy genre. The movie will likely be remembered for Jason Segel’s full-frontal and a scene stealing performance from Russell Brand as the hedonistic rock star Aldous Snow.

Nicholas Stoller, who directed Marshall from a script by Segel, takes over writing duties for the spin-off film, Get Him to the Greek. Brand returns, reteaming with Jonah Hill who plays a different character this time around.

Aldous Snow has settled down since last we saw him. After a stint in rehab, he’s married pop singer, Jackie Q (Rose Byrne), and plays attentive father to their son, Naples (Lino Facioli). However, Snow relapses following the utter failure of his latest album (the hilariously pandering “African Child”) and the dissolution of his marriage.

Back in L.A., Aaron Green (Jonah Hill), a low-level talent scout for Pinnacle Records, hopes to impress his boss, Sergio (Sean “Puff Daddy” Combs). He pitches the idea for Snow to perform a live concert at the Greek Theater and wins up having to act as the petulant superstar’s glorified babysitter. Traveling from London to Hollywood, Green gets a first-hand look at the rock ‘n roll lifestyle of sex, drugs, and even more drugs.

Much like its progenitor, Get Him to the Greek examines relationships with just a touch of raunchiness. For Snow, it’s his crumbling marriage and his relationship to his father (Colm Meaney), a lounge act in Vegas. Green ties to hold it together with his workaholic med student girlfriend, Daphne (Elisabeth Moss). When Stoller doesn’t lay it on too thick, the personal elements feel genuine. Yet, the film sputters towards the end when it becomes a little too sentimental.

The comedy is mined from the usual odd couple situations. Greek is like a road movie crossed with The Hangover in dealing with the mischief that overgrown man-children get into. Hill plays off Brand well as the overwhelmed straight man and Sean “P. Diddy” Combs gives a surprisingly funny performance as the overbearing boss. The soundtrack is catchy and the film features plenty of cameos from celebs like, Christina Aguilera, Meredith Vieira, and Kristen Bell reprising her role as Sarah Marshall.

Rating: ** ½

Astro Boy

Astro Boy - Dir. David Bowers (2009)


Osamu Tezuka has widely been considered to be the god of manga. His dynamic art style and penchant for drawing characters with large, expressive eyes are the images immediately associated with Japanese comics and animation. One of Tezuka’s most beloved creations was the rocket-propelled robot, Astro Boy, who starred in a long-running manga series and several animated shows. Unfortunately, whatever charms Astro Boy possessed were lost in translation for Summit Entertainment’s CG remake.

Set in the year 2108, a privileged few live in the shining metropolis of Metro City, a high-tech city floating above Earth where robots serve the human population. In other words, they live just like the Jetsons. One of the most brilliant minds in Metro City is Dr. Tenma (Nicolas Cage), the head of the Ministry of Science. Along with Dr. Elefun (Bill Nighy), Tenma works under the auspices of the militaristic President Stone (Donald Sutherland) who is constantly ready to go to war.

Tenma has recently discovered a blue energy source and its opposite and far more unstable red energy. While experimenting with the latter, a tragic accident occurs when Tenma’s son, Toby (Freddie Highmore), is completely vaporized. A mournful father tries to replace his dead child by creating a robot duplicate who, at first, believes he is the real Toby. Soon, Tenma realizes Astro Boy will never be able to replace Toby and casts him out just as Pres. Stone demands he be turned over to create new weapons. Astro Boy is cast out and falls to the world below where he’s taken in by a group of orphans scavenging the scraps tossed away by Metro City.

Animation-wise, Astro Boy has been crafted well with some cool visuals and action sequences. However, it lacks any discernable style or charm to set it apart from the rest of the computer animated films being pumped out every year. It doesn’t have the uniqueness or depth that Pixar has achieved on countless occasions. The quirky and squat look of Tezuka’s characters has been washed away in order to placate mainstream Western audiences. The big eyes are gone, but the machine guns in his buttocks are still there.

The formulaic plot is further hampered by heavy-handed political overtones pounded in with the hammer of obviousness. President Stone is pure Neo-Con odiousness who dismisses the namby pamby blue energy for the ruthless and erratic red.

Astro Boy is bland, inoffensive entertainment, but you could do better watching the works of Miyazaki or Brad Bird’s The Iron Giant.

Rating: **

When in Rome

When in Rome - Dir. Mark Steven Johnson (2010)


Was it too much to hope that When in Rome would bring something new to the table to the stagnant romantic comedy genre? Considering the film was written by the team behind Old Dogs, David Diamond and David Weissman, the answer is an emphatic yes.

Kristen Bell is the archetypal female lead, a Type-A career woman. In this case, she’s Beth Harper, a curator for the Guggenheim. Sadly, no twenty minute shootouts ala The International occur in this film. She flies off to Rome to attend her younger sister’s wedding. Beth is a cynic about love and doesn’t give much of a chance to her sibling’s impending nuptials. However, Beth hits it off with Nick Beamon (Josh Duhamel), a dashing sports writer whose football career was cut short after being struck by lightning. No, really…

When Beth sees Nick kissing another woman, she gets drunk and stumbles into a fountain and pulls out four coins and a poker chop, believing she is liberating those wishes. Instead, the men (glorified cartoon characters) who tossed them in originally fall madly in love with Beth due to the magic of the fountain. They include Dax Shephard as a narcissistic male model, Jon Heder as a Criss Angel-looking street magician, Will Arnett as an Italian artist, and Danny DeVito as a sausage magnate. Hmm…I wonder if he knows Abe Froman, the Sausage King of Chicago.

These suitors stalk Beth all the way back to New York City. Nick is also making an attempt to woo Beth, but the question remains whether or not his love is real. As if you didn’t already know the answer.

I’ll give When in Rome a single shred of credit for not following the paint-by-numbers formula that all rom-coms do nowadays. No, Rome is a screwball comedy all the day and I doubt anyone has been clamoring for its return. I loved the classics like His Girl Friday, but the genre was laid to rest by Peter Bogdanovich’s homage, What’s Up, Doc?, and, aside from perhaps A Fish Called Wanda, the genre has been flatlining ever since. Not even the Coens could resuscitate it with Intolerable Cruelty and its star George Clooney failed as well with Leatherheads.

When in Rome won’t be heading up a revival anytime soon. The film uses only the broadest strokes in its lame attempts at slapstick humor. Nick falls down holes and bumps into things. Not for any reason, he just bumps into things because that’s supposed to be funny. You know your movie is in trouble when the best gag you can come up with is having your lead characters drive around town in a ludicrously tiny car. Another scene finds Beth and Nick dining at a restaurant where the lights are turned out and the wait staff wears night vision goggles. I’m sure it sounded funnier on paper (actually, it doesn’t), but the sequence is such a mess that you wish they had just shot the whole damn movie in the dark. One of the staples of the screwball comedy was witty, rapid-fire dialogue. There is none of that in When in Rome. Nope, we get characters who say, “My bad,” which got annoying two seconds after the first time it was ever said.

Kristen Bell, who was so good in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, doesn’t have much of a presence in the lead role. Duhamel is so bland as the romantic interest, you probably could have stuck any generic pretty boy (Paul Walker, I’m looking at you) into the role and it wouldn’t have made any difference. Jon Heder is the saddest of the bunch, still desperately trying to milk whatever is left of his Napoleon Dynamite fame.

When in Rome was directed by Mark Steven Johnson who also helmed Daredevil and Ghost Rider. Let’s just say, his contributions here won’t ever be compared to Howard Hawks or Preston Sturges. I do hope Johnson makes more films like this. If he keeps making crappy romantic comedies, he won’t be able to make anymore crappy comic book movies.

Rating: * ½

Fanboys

Fanboys - Dir. Kyle Newman (2008)


A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, a pair of writers, Ernest Cline & Adam F. Goldberg, wrote a script called Fanboys. The screenplay was snatched up by Kevin Spacey’s Trigger Street Productions and the Weinstein Company. The film was scheduled for release in 2007, but in a rare move, the Weinsteins gave the filmmakers more money to shoot additional scenes. Internet circles were abuzz, but reshoots were delayed until all cast members were available. Even then, original director Kyle Newman was unavailable and reshoots were taken over by Steven Brill (Drillbit Taylor) whose lack of Star Wars knowledge and profanity laced emails (in response to fan attacks) won him no popularity contests. Harvey Weinstein stepped in, looking to excise a cancer storyline in favor of more nudity and crude humor which prompted fans to start a ‘Stop Darth Weinstein’ petition. The film was finally released in an extremely limited run at the beginning of 2009 before being dumped to DVD this May.

So, was it worth the wait? This fanboy says, ‘no.’

Fanboys stars a core group of four friends; Eric (Sam Huntington), Linus (Chris Marquette), Hutch (Dan Fogler), and Windows (Jay Baruchel). All of them diehard Star Wars fans eagerly awaiting the release of the upcoming of Episode I. Eric was once best friends with Linus before drifting apart after ditching their dream of becoming comic book creators for a safe job at his dad’s car dealership. Eric returns to the fold when he’s informed that Linus has cancer. The quartet make a pact to break into Skywalker Ranch and steal a print of Phantom Menace for Linus to see before its too late. From there, the movie becomes a standard road trip film as the boys get into all sorts of misadventures such as a brawl with Star Trek fans, taking peyote in the desert with Danny Trejo, and meeting an angry Harry Knowles (Ethan Suplee) in Austin, Texas. Along the way, the film is littered with cameos from Star Wars personalities such as Carrie Fisher, Billy Dee Williams, and Ray Park as well as Kevin Smith (who was the second choice to play Knowles after Lost star Jorge Garcia) and Apatow players Seth Rogen, Danny McBride, and Craig Robinson.

Fanboys acts as both an homage and send-up of obsessive geek culture. It takes a few jabs at the exceedingly high expectations that fans had for the new Star Wars films without actually commentating on its quality. Much like Phantom Menace, there was a lot of anticipation for Fanboys so it’s a shame that the humor is so unoriginal. Gags include characters arguing over incestuous feelings between Luke & Leia and a Trekkie (sorry, Trekker) angering our heroes by calling Han Solo a ‘bitch.’ I wasn’t expecting any deep insights into the thought processes of the average nerd, but I was expecting some inventiveness in the jokes. Fanboys won’t be very accessible to anybody who hasn't memorized every line from the trilogy.

Those of you familiar with Jay Baruchel’s gawky beanpole act in Knocked Up and Tropic Thunder will get more of the same. He provides some of the film’s most amusing moments including a funny Willow reference. Kristen Bell also shows some sparks as the token female of the group. Meanwhile, Dan Fogler sucks the life out of nearly every scene he’s in with his Jack Black-lite act.

Rating: **