A Million Ways to Die in the West

A Million Ways to Die in the West - Dir. Seth MacFarlane (2014)

The ubiquitous Seth MacFarlane has branched out far beyond his animated empire of Family Guy, American Dad, and the recently cancelled Cleveland Show. He's the closest thing we have these days to an old-fashioned song and dance man. He's hosted the Oscars, performed a concert tour, released a jazz album, and even executive produced the educational science series Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey. In 2012, MacFarlane wrote and directed his first feature film, Ted, the story about a man and a talking teddy bear who has long worn out his welcome. MacFarlane also performed the voice work and motion capture for the titular Ted. For his second feature, A Million Ways to Die in the West, we get MacFarlane in all his live-action glory as meek sheep farmer Albert Stark.

It's the year 1882 and Stark lives in the little town of Old Stump. He spends most of his time bemoaning how just about everything can kill you in the Wild West, from wild animals to unsanitary medical care. The most dangerous of all just might be murderous gunfighters. Albert is a sheep farmer and a pretty lousy one at that. His flock is scattered all over the place and when one of them grazes on another man's property, Albert is challenged to a showdown. Albert chickens out, much to the chagrin of his girlfriend Louise (Amanda Seyfried), who promptly for Foy (Neil Patrick Harris), the proprietor of the local Moustachery.

Albert thinks about packing it up and moving to San Francisco when he meets the gorgeous Anna (Charlize Theron). Both of them share a common disdain for everything dirty and backwards about the West. Anna also teaches Albert how to shoot a gun in order to challenge Foy and win back the fickle heart of Louise. Unfortunately, it turns out Anna is married to Clinch Leatherwood (Liam Neeson), a notorious outlaw who doesn't like anyone making moves with his wife.

A Million Ways to Die in the West wears its influences on its sleeve. Naturally, MacFarlane shoots quite a bit in Monument Valley, the gorgeous setting for so many classic John Ford Westerns. There's a nod to Terror in Tiny Town, an infamous 1938 movie starring an entire cast of little people and a lively dance number honoring facial hair that recalls Oklahoma. Of course, as a Western comedy, A Million Ways to Die in the West is cut from the same cloth as Blazing Saddles. Whereas Mel Brooks chose to do one long fart joke during the campfire sequence, MacFarlane spreads his flatulent humor throughout the film. And while Brooks was focused on race relations, MacFarlane takes a decidedly de-romanticized look at the Old West. He borrows the fish out of water aspect from Paleface and Son of Paleface starring Bob Hope. If you've watched Family Guy, then you'll know MacFarlane's reverence for hook nosed comedian thanks to the "Road to…" episodes with Stewie and Brian as Hope and Bing Crosby.

Albert makes numerous anachronistic observations about the time period. He looks at the violence and disease through modern eyes. He's reminiscent of Frank Grimes, the tightly wound character driven mad by the absurdity of The Simpsons. Sure, MacFarlane is a bit one-note in the lead, but he makes it work with his wry observations and off-the-cuff non sequiturs. Luckily, Million Ways has itself a terrific supporting cast with Neil Patrick Harris really asserting himself in the role of an annoying fop. Sarah Silverman is perfectly cast as Ruth, the proverbial hooker with the heart of gold, but with a twist. Silverman made a name for herself on the stand-up circuit with bawdy material that belied that sweet, pixie voice. Here, she's a prostitute openly engaged in outlandish sexual acts, yet she's in a chaste relationship with Albert's best friend, the virginal Edward (Giovanni Ribisi).

There are cameos galore in Million Ways. Blink and you might miss Ewan McGregor, Ryan Reynolds or Kaley Cuoco. Being set in the 1800's means MacFarlane can't rely on his usual arsenal of pop culture references. His one indulgence is the appearance of a certain time-traveling doctor and not the one who rides around in a police box.

Rating: *** (*****)

Snow White and the Huntsman

Snow White and the Huntsman - Dir. Rupert Sanders (2012)

Revisionist fairy tales are the newest fad to hit Hollywood, especially since Disney made over a billion dollars with Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland. The House of Mouse is also developing, Maleficent, a new take on Sleeping Beauty from the perspective of the evil sorceress with Angelina Jolie in the title role. At the same time, they postponed production on The Order of the Seven, which would have seen Saoirse Ronan as a version of Snow White under the protection of seven martial arts masters. An escalating budget and the fact that two other studios beat Disney to the punch were factors in its derailment. Relativity Media took the lighthearted, kid-friendly route with Mirror Mirror while Universal went darker with Snow White and the Huntsman.

Once upon a time, King Magnus (Noah Huntley) reigned over the land in peace though he was saddened by the death of his wife. That is, until he rescued the beautiful Ravenna (Charlize Theron) from the clutches of a Dark Army. Ravenna wastes no time in seducing then murdering the king, stealing the throne, and locking the king's daughter, Snow White (Raffey Cassidy as a child, Kristen Stewart as an adult) in the tower. Ravenna must steal the youth of pretty girls to maintain her attractiveness. But, to stay forever young, she must consume Snow White's heart when she comes of age.

Snow White eventually escapes into the Dark Forest (yes, everything is dark in this movie) where no man dares to tread. Ravenna and her obsequies brother, Finn (Sam Spruell), enlist the assistance of the Huntsman (Chris Hemsworth), a scruffy bruiser prone to drink following the death of his wife. The Huntsman reluctantly helps the Queen's henchmen track down Snow White before joining forces with the princess as well as her childhood love Prince William (Sam Clafin) and a band of dwarves led by the blind Muir (Bob Hoskins).

Snow White and the Huntsman is clearly inspired by Lord of the Rings and HBO's Game of Thrones, setting the story in a grimy medieval world where knights in armor clash on the battlefield. In his feature debut, commercial director Rupert Sanders relies too much on herky jerky camera movements for his action sequences. This quibble can be forgiven because the film is handsomely shot by cinematographer Greig Fraser (David Cronenberg's Spider, Let Me In) with James Newton Howard's score bringing the sturm und drang and a random Florence & The Machine song to go over the end credits.

Twlight star Kristen Stewart is once again caught in the middle of a love triangle between the gruff Huntsman and the noble prince. While Stewart excels at being the doe-eyed waif, she struggles during the picture's heavier moments. She just doesn't have the gravitas (or a convincing English accent) needed when called upon to deliver the climactic Braveheart/St. Crispin's Day speech to inspire the masses. It's not entirely her fault as the screenplay credited to Evan Daughtery, John Lee Hancock (The Blind Side), and Hossein Amini (Drive) fails to feed Stewart dialogue that could stir a cup of coffee, let alone an army to rise against the oppressive regime. Never mind how a girl locked in a tiny cell for half her life suddenly becomes Joan of Arc.

Chris Hemsworth trades his mystical uru hammer for an axe to play the roguish romantic lead. Audiences will likely choose Team Huntsman over Team William due to the Han Solo-esque charm Hemsworth adds to the character over the blandness of the prince. This is no knock on Sam Clafin's acting abilities, but a reflection on the script's thin characterization as well as a lack of screen time. More time too could have been devoted to the dwarves, whom Sanders cast as if he were casting a British gangster pic. Thus, we get incredible thespians like Bob Hoskins, Ian McShane, Eddie Marsan, Toby Jones, Ray Winstone, and Nick Frost along with the lesser known Johnny Harris and Brian Gleeson, son of Brendan Gleeson. Movie magic turns them into a diminutive band of highwaymen.

The most fascinating character in Snow White is the evil Queen Ravenna and Charlize Theron gets to play it to the hilt. Theron is so good in the role that you'll actually be rooting for the bad guy to win. This is a damaged woman transformed into a man-hating succubus by a cruel patriarchal society that destroys innocence and beauty. Ravenna has a strange incestuous relationship with her brother reminiscent of Cersei and Jaime Lannister. The creepiness is amplified by Sam Spruell's pageboy haircut, which makes him look like an albino Anton Chigurh.

Snow White and the Huntsman is a surprisingly entertaining fantasy film. Yes, Kristen Stewart is miscast as the lead and the screenplay is riddled with clichés of Snow White being "the one." However, the visuals are stunning and Charlize Theron is absolutely captivating as the villainous queen.

Rating: *** (*****)

Young Adult

Young Adult - Dir. Jason Reitman (2011)

Director Jason Reitman and screenwriter Diablo Cody shot to prominence when they first teamed up for the teen pregnancy comedy Juno. Though Reitman had already made his feature film debut with Thank You For Smoking, Juno was undoubtedly his biggest success. It was Cody's first produced screenplay for which she won the Academy Award. Reitman followed it up with the superior dramedy Up in the Air while Cody unfurled the critically reviled horror-comedy Jennifer's Body. Reitman and Cody put the band back together for Young Adult, a film that is the absolute antithesis of Juno.

Where Juno was a snappy and breezy comedy about a teen more mature than some of the adults around her. Young Adult is a darkly humorous tale of an adult trapped in a self-destructive, adolescent mindset.

Charlize Theron plays it to the hilt as Mavis Gary, a ghost writer for a teen lit series that serves as an obvious nod to Cody's next project, an adaptation of Sweet Valley High. She lives in a high rise apartment in Minneapolis where she spends much of her time chugging Diet Coke out of a 2-liter bottle, keeping up with the Kardashians on TV, and struggling to finish her latest book.

One day, she receives an email from the wife of her high school boyfriend announcing the arrival of their new baby. In her twisted mind, Mavis sees this as a challenge and returns to her small hometown of Mercury to rescue her ex from his marital prison. Said beau is Buddy Slade (Patrick Wilson), who certainly seems happy in the role of husband and father. Nevertheless, nothing will deter Mavis from her mission, not even the common sense advice of another former classmate, Matt Freehauf (a perfectly cast Patton Oswalt).

They meet in a bar and it takes a while for Mavis to jog her memory, despite the fact that Matt's locker was right next to hers. Nicknamed by Mavis as the "hate crime guy," Matt was the victim of a brutal beating by the jocks, who were under the mistaken belief that he was gay. The attack has left him with a permanent limp. Much like Mavis, he doesn't have much of a life. He lives with his sister, Sandra (Collette Wolfe), where he customizes action figures and brews homemade bourbon he calls the "Mos Eisley Special Reserve."

Young Adult shatters the unwritten rule of Hollywood that the protagonist must be sympathetic and likable. One character aptly describes her as a "psychotic prom queen bitch." She is the proverbial mean girl, who has returned to make life hell for everyone around her. Mavis is thoroughly self-centered and borderline delusional. She avoids her parents and isn't particularly nice to Matt, the one person who seems to tolerate being in her presence. The only other friend she has is her little Pomeranian, Dolce, and Mavis winds up ignoring him too.

The relationship between Mavis and Matt could hardly be categorized as a friendship. They more or less fall into a co-dependent symbiosis. Deep down inside Matt still fawns over Mavis and it's obvious he gets a kick over finally gaining the notice of the popular girl. For Mavis, she likes the attention and, perhaps, she sees in him someone just as broken as she is.

Though blonde and statuesque, Mavis is a white hot mess in a Hello Kitty t-shirt and proof positive that beauty is only skin deep. Theron doesn't need the extra weight or make-up to bring out the ugly in Mavis the way she did for Aileen Wuornos in Monster. She's almost a pitiable person and a gut wrenching revelation at the most awkward of times peels back the layers in her complex personality. It's at this point that Young Adult cleverly goes against conventions. Just when you think Mavis may change for the better, she has a one-on-one chat with Sandra that reinforces her narcissistic point of view. Hey, I am better than these people so fuck 'em.

Diablo Cody's dialogue isn't the hyper-stylized speech found in Juno. The writing is more subdued. The one line that is clearly Cody-esque comes when Mavis refers to a combination KFC/Taco Bell/Pizza Hut as a "KenTacoHut."

The soundtrack to Young Adult accentuates Mavis's rose colored nostalgia by utilizing a veritable smorgasbord of alternative rock hits from the early-90's. There's the Lemonheads, Dinosaur Jr., 4 Non Blondes, and Veruca Salt. Listen closely and you'll hear subtle instrumental versions of Soundgarden and Pearl Jam by Juno composer Mateo Messina. The opening credits feature a series of extreme close-ups of the inner workings of a cassette and tape player as Mavis throws in an old mixtape of Buddy's for the road trip. She listens to Teenage Fanclub's "The Concept" incessantly as the lyrics, "I didn't mean to hurt you..." repeat over and over as the movie's unofficial theme.

Jason Reitman and Diablo Cody have boldly crafted a character study of a wholly unsympathetic person, who does not grow or learn over the course of the film. Young Adult shines as a black comedy that derives humor from cringe-inducing moments and the incredible performance from Charlize Theron.

Rating: *** (*****)

Astro Boy

Astro Boy - Dir. David Bowers (2009)


Osamu Tezuka has widely been considered to be the god of manga. His dynamic art style and penchant for drawing characters with large, expressive eyes are the images immediately associated with Japanese comics and animation. One of Tezuka’s most beloved creations was the rocket-propelled robot, Astro Boy, who starred in a long-running manga series and several animated shows. Unfortunately, whatever charms Astro Boy possessed were lost in translation for Summit Entertainment’s CG remake.

Set in the year 2108, a privileged few live in the shining metropolis of Metro City, a high-tech city floating above Earth where robots serve the human population. In other words, they live just like the Jetsons. One of the most brilliant minds in Metro City is Dr. Tenma (Nicolas Cage), the head of the Ministry of Science. Along with Dr. Elefun (Bill Nighy), Tenma works under the auspices of the militaristic President Stone (Donald Sutherland) who is constantly ready to go to war.

Tenma has recently discovered a blue energy source and its opposite and far more unstable red energy. While experimenting with the latter, a tragic accident occurs when Tenma’s son, Toby (Freddie Highmore), is completely vaporized. A mournful father tries to replace his dead child by creating a robot duplicate who, at first, believes he is the real Toby. Soon, Tenma realizes Astro Boy will never be able to replace Toby and casts him out just as Pres. Stone demands he be turned over to create new weapons. Astro Boy is cast out and falls to the world below where he’s taken in by a group of orphans scavenging the scraps tossed away by Metro City.

Animation-wise, Astro Boy has been crafted well with some cool visuals and action sequences. However, it lacks any discernable style or charm to set it apart from the rest of the computer animated films being pumped out every year. It doesn’t have the uniqueness or depth that Pixar has achieved on countless occasions. The quirky and squat look of Tezuka’s characters has been washed away in order to placate mainstream Western audiences. The big eyes are gone, but the machine guns in his buttocks are still there.

The formulaic plot is further hampered by heavy-handed political overtones pounded in with the hammer of obviousness. President Stone is pure Neo-Con odiousness who dismisses the namby pamby blue energy for the ruthless and erratic red.

Astro Boy is bland, inoffensive entertainment, but you could do better watching the works of Miyazaki or Brad Bird’s The Iron Giant.

Rating: **

The Road

The Road - Dir. John Hillcoat (2009)


”She was gone and the coldness of it was her final gift.”

Will the world end with a bang or a whimper? According to Roland Emmerich, the world will end with a shit-ton of bangs. In the shadow of Emmerich’s bloated and idiotic 2012 comes The Road, a haunting experience and a post-apocalyptic film like no other. The Road isn’t an action spectacle like Mad Max nor is it the misstep that was I Am Legend, which completely missed the point of Richard Matheson’s original story. Based on the Pulitzer Prize-winning novel by Cormac McCarthy, The Road features the same desperate isolation that marked the Coen Brothers’ adaptation of No Country For Old Men times a hundred.

Viggo Mortensen and Kodi Smit-McPhee star as an unnamed father and son who are simply dubbed Man and Boy in the credits. The pair tries to survive in a desolate wasteland where the skies have turned to ash and the landscape is littered with dead trees and abandoned roads. The Boy has been born into this nightmarish world and knows nothing of life before. The Man tells stories to his son about heroes and bravery. He insists they are the “good guys” and that they “carry the fire” inside. As they attempt to make their way to the coast, the Man must protect the boys from the horrors he sees including roving bands of bandits who’ve turned to cannibalism to survive. In one of the film’s most harrowing moments, father and son come across a house where human beings are kept locked in a basement, filthy and emaciated, so their jailers can feed on them, piece by piece. Just as these people have gone to horrible lengths simply to survive, the Man becomes as equally desperate to keep his son alive. The Boy still manages to cling to his innocence, believing that there is still inherent good in others.

No explanation is ever given for the end of the world and none is necessary. There are a series of flashbacks showing the Man and his wife (Charlize Theron) briefly before the devastation and later scenes showing them dealing with the aftermath and her pregnancy. An almost unrecognizable Robert Duvall makes a quick and unforgettable appearance as an old, blind man they meet on their journey.

I haven’t read the original novel by McCarthy, so I can’t compare the two. Director John Hillcoat (who helmed the equally somber and desolate Western The Proposition) fashions a deals with the heights that man can reach and the depths in which he will sink. The Road is all about human emotion and not special effects or camera mugging performances. Mortensen and Smit-McPhee are fantastic and utterly believable in their roles. We become as frightened as they are and feel that same tiny moment of joy when the two find a lone can of Coca-Cola.

The way the film unfolds will leave many divided. Some have criticized it saying The Road hops from scene to scene without much flow or driving force. Yes, the script by playwright Joe Penhall does meander. But, it meanders just as the characters that inhabit the world, making it a natural fit. The Road isn't the classic that many were hoping for, but it's a damn good movie.

Rating: ***

Hancock

Hancock - Dir. Peter Berg (2008)


Once upon a time there was a script called Tonight, He Comes and it was hailed as one of the best screenplays ever written that had yet to be produced. The script was a serious drama about a lonely superhero that falls for an ordinary housewife. What the Hell happened to it? The story passed through the hands of several directors including Michael Mann, Tony Scott, and Jonathan Mostow. It must have passed through even more hands for us to receive this diluted, hodgepodge of missed opportunities and wasted potential. This poor attempt at a post-modern superhero film could have been the perfect antidote for the summer glut of comic book movies.

The movie makes an honest attempt to show the real world consequences of outrageous superheroic acts. Hancock abruptly stops a train and causes a massive accident. However, ten minutes later, he hurls a child high into the air, catches him, and the child walks off with some mental scarring, but no physical effects. As if, he wouldn't have broken nearly every bone in his body. The acting is fair. Will Smith is his usual affable self and it’s hard to hate the former Fresh Prince of Bel Air even when he’s trying hard to be an asshole. The same goes for Jason Bateman who plays basically the same character (the put-upon straight man) he did in Arrested Development. Charlize Theron is wasted in her tiny role as Bateman's wife.

The film switches from lowbrow comedy to a darker drama, but the two halves never mesh properly. The problem lies in shoving the genre conventions of a superhero movie into a picture that isn't supposed to be a superhero movie. The ending is anti-climatic and the third act revelation is contrived and nonsensical.

Rating: * 1/2