A Million Ways to Die in the West

A Million Ways to Die in the West - Dir. Seth MacFarlane (2014)

The ubiquitous Seth MacFarlane has branched out far beyond his animated empire of Family Guy, American Dad, and the recently cancelled Cleveland Show. He's the closest thing we have these days to an old-fashioned song and dance man. He's hosted the Oscars, performed a concert tour, released a jazz album, and even executive produced the educational science series Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey. In 2012, MacFarlane wrote and directed his first feature film, Ted, the story about a man and a talking teddy bear who has long worn out his welcome. MacFarlane also performed the voice work and motion capture for the titular Ted. For his second feature, A Million Ways to Die in the West, we get MacFarlane in all his live-action glory as meek sheep farmer Albert Stark.

It's the year 1882 and Stark lives in the little town of Old Stump. He spends most of his time bemoaning how just about everything can kill you in the Wild West, from wild animals to unsanitary medical care. The most dangerous of all just might be murderous gunfighters. Albert is a sheep farmer and a pretty lousy one at that. His flock is scattered all over the place and when one of them grazes on another man's property, Albert is challenged to a showdown. Albert chickens out, much to the chagrin of his girlfriend Louise (Amanda Seyfried), who promptly for Foy (Neil Patrick Harris), the proprietor of the local Moustachery.

Albert thinks about packing it up and moving to San Francisco when he meets the gorgeous Anna (Charlize Theron). Both of them share a common disdain for everything dirty and backwards about the West. Anna also teaches Albert how to shoot a gun in order to challenge Foy and win back the fickle heart of Louise. Unfortunately, it turns out Anna is married to Clinch Leatherwood (Liam Neeson), a notorious outlaw who doesn't like anyone making moves with his wife.

A Million Ways to Die in the West wears its influences on its sleeve. Naturally, MacFarlane shoots quite a bit in Monument Valley, the gorgeous setting for so many classic John Ford Westerns. There's a nod to Terror in Tiny Town, an infamous 1938 movie starring an entire cast of little people and a lively dance number honoring facial hair that recalls Oklahoma. Of course, as a Western comedy, A Million Ways to Die in the West is cut from the same cloth as Blazing Saddles. Whereas Mel Brooks chose to do one long fart joke during the campfire sequence, MacFarlane spreads his flatulent humor throughout the film. And while Brooks was focused on race relations, MacFarlane takes a decidedly de-romanticized look at the Old West. He borrows the fish out of water aspect from Paleface and Son of Paleface starring Bob Hope. If you've watched Family Guy, then you'll know MacFarlane's reverence for hook nosed comedian thanks to the "Road to…" episodes with Stewie and Brian as Hope and Bing Crosby.

Albert makes numerous anachronistic observations about the time period. He looks at the violence and disease through modern eyes. He's reminiscent of Frank Grimes, the tightly wound character driven mad by the absurdity of The Simpsons. Sure, MacFarlane is a bit one-note in the lead, but he makes it work with his wry observations and off-the-cuff non sequiturs. Luckily, Million Ways has itself a terrific supporting cast with Neil Patrick Harris really asserting himself in the role of an annoying fop. Sarah Silverman is perfectly cast as Ruth, the proverbial hooker with the heart of gold, but with a twist. Silverman made a name for herself on the stand-up circuit with bawdy material that belied that sweet, pixie voice. Here, she's a prostitute openly engaged in outlandish sexual acts, yet she's in a chaste relationship with Albert's best friend, the virginal Edward (Giovanni Ribisi).

There are cameos galore in Million Ways. Blink and you might miss Ewan McGregor, Ryan Reynolds or Kaley Cuoco. Being set in the 1800's means MacFarlane can't rely on his usual arsenal of pop culture references. His one indulgence is the appearance of a certain time-traveling doctor and not the one who rides around in a police box.

Rating: *** (*****)

R.I.P.D.

R.I.P.D. - Dir. Robert Schwentke (2013)

Now that the Fast & Furious is nearing the end of the road, Universal is desperately searching for a big money making franchise. Other studios have had massive success with comic book adaptations, but with Marvel and DC locked up by Disney and Warner Brothers that leaves lesser known properties from independent publishers. That's not necessarily a bad thing. An obscure black & white comic titled Men in Black was turned into a billion dollar franchise with movies, an animated series, and tons of toys. Universal obviously had visions of dollar signs dancing in their heads when they snatched up the rights to the similarly themed, R.I.P.D., published by Dark Horse. Both comics are about a clandestine agency charged with protecting the Earth from otherworldly forces. In MIB, they're aliens. In RIPD, they're "Deados," fugitive spirits who have refused to pass into the great beyond. That's where the resemblances end as MIB is leaps and bounds beyond RIPD when it comes to originality.

Boston detective Nick Walker (Ryan Reynolds) is uneasy about pocketing the gold he and his partner, Bobby Hayes (Kevin Bacon), have just found at a recent drug bust. Rather than see the gold taken into evidence, Hayes kills Walker during a raid. Due to his one moment of weakness, Walker is drafted into the Rest in Peace Department, which consists of the greatest lawmen who ever lived. Walker must serve his time with RIPD or take his chances with the higher powers. He is paired with Roy Pulsipher (Jeff Bridges), an ornery gunslinger from the Wild West, and uncovers a conspiracy to build a weapon that will unleash the dead into the world of the living.

The screenplay by Phil Hay and Matt Manfredi (Clash of the Titans) with a story credit by David Dobkin (who was previously attached to direct) is shamelessly derivative. RIPD clearly attempts to follow in the footsteps of MIB and Ghostbusters while borrowing also from Beetlejuice in its depictions of a bureaucratic afterlife. However, none of these ideas are ever fully realized. In a running gag, Walker and Pulsipher have cover identities while on Earth. Everyone around them sees only an old Asian guy (James Hong) and a smoking hot model (Marisa Miller). The filmmakers get a little mileage out of the joke with Bridges fending off advances from horndogs and Walker attempts to contact his wife (Stephanie Szostak) in a pair of scenes with half-hearted poignancy. However, the bit is quickly cast aside for a series of mind numbing car chases and explosions. Despite a budget of $130 million, the special effects are horrendous with Deados rendered as murky, lumbering blobs. The 1997 effects of MIB are far superior to the lackluster efforts here.

Ironically, RIPD opened opposite another comic book movie, Red 2, and was directed by Robert Schwentke, who helmed the first Red. While Schwentke doesn't have a masterful command of action, he did maintain an energetic tone in Red that is completely missing from RIPD. The fact that the characters are already dead and suffer no ill effects from being thrown off a roof or hit by a bus means there is never any sense of danger or suspense.

RIPD's one saving grace is Jeff Bridges, who essentially reprises his role of Rooster Cogburn with the addition of a Colonel Sanders goatee. Bridges plays it to the hilt and has some fun scenes opposite Mary-Louise Parker, who brings her own spin to the tightly wound precinct captain. There's also a welcome twist on the usual buddy cop formula with Walker's fresh-faced rookie as the straight-laced one of the pair and Bridges' wily veteran as the loose cannon. Also, kudos go to Kevin Bacon's agent for keeping his client's presence such a secret. Bacon is surely thankful.

RIPD died almost as quickly as its protagonist and continued to beat on a dead horse for another ninety minutes.

Rating: * (*****)

The Croods

The Croods - Dirs. Chris Sanders & Kirk De Micco (2013)

Faster than you can say, "The Flintstones," Dreamworks offers their own take on the modern Stone Age family with The Croods. The Croods opened to boffo box office worldwide as moviegoers, thirsting for family friendly entertainment, flocked to theaters for a grand total of over $122 million.

The Croods live in a highly stylized version of prehistoric times where all of their friends have been killed off by animals or disease. The patriarch, Grug (Nicolas Cage), subscribes to the motto, "Never not be afraid." In order to keep his family alive, Grug moves them into a dark cave and spins cautionary tales about how curiosity will kill the caveman. Obviously this irks his teenage daughter, Eep (Emma Stone), whose adventurous streak is a constant concern for her overly protective father. One night, Eep notices a strange, orange glow that leads her into an encounter with Guy (Ryan Reynolds), a more evolved drifter who warns Eep about the end of the world, what we know now as continental drift. Guy disappears and the next morning, the Croods' cave is destroyed by a rockslide. They discover an incredible new world that had existed behind their backs. It's a beautiful, yet dangerous land with strange creatures like land whales, furry saber tooth tigers, and Piranhakeets, ravenous birds with razor sharp teeth. Guy saves the Crood family from a flock and leads them on a journey to a safe haven he calls, "Tomorrow." The Croods are awestruck by Guy and his newfangled inventions like fire, shoes, umbrellas, and snare traps. But, Grug is less than impressed and grows jealous of all the adoration heaped on Guy.

The Croods is fairly straightforward stuff with obvious themes about family and that trying new things is good. There are plenty of references to parents being overprotective, especially when it comes to boyfriends, and kids being embarrassed by mom and dad. What sets it apart is the presence of co-writer and co-director Chris Sanders, who previously brought us Lilo & Stitch and How to Train Your Dragon. The similarities are obvious right down to the character designs, including an albino hyena and an adorable sloth named Belt, both of whom bare a resemblance to Experiment 626. Sanders brings real warmth and heart to the story along with his irreverent sense of humor and a steady stream of slapstick. The opening sequence with the Croods hunting for breakfast while fending off other wildlife sets the tone for the energetic pace to come. The animation is breathtaking with the world the Croods explore baring strong similarities to Avatar.

There is a small, but strong voice cast at work here with Nicolas Cage employing his own brand of off-kilter charm to the role of Grug. He gets in a toned down variation of the trademark Cage meltdown as Grug undergoes history's first ever mid-life crisis. Emma Stone is terrific in the lead and even looks a little like her character, who appears to be the freckle faced offspring of Pebbles and Bam Bam. Rounding out the cast are an underused Catherine Keener as mom Ugga, Clark Duke as dim-witted brother Thunk, and Cloris Leachman as the crotchety grandma.

It's a safe bet that the best animated films of 2013 will be Pixar's Monsters University, Universal's Despicable Me 2, and The Croods. The zany energy and colorful presentation will be more than enough to entertain youngsters as well as older audiences.

Rating: *** (*****)

Safe House

Safe House - Dir. Daniel Espinosa (2012)

During a pivotal sequence in Safe House, Denzel Washington's character is subjected to waterboarding. Washington himself did multiple takes where he was given the controversial torture method for several seconds. Some snide film critics will suggest watching Safe House is akin to receiving the Guantanamo Bay treatment. No, Safe House is merely guilty of unremarkable mediocrity.

Ryan Reynolds is Matt Weston, a young CIA agent tasked with minding a safe house in Cape Town, South Africa. His job as a glorified house sitter doesn't sit well with him. Weston urges his handler, David Barlow (Brendan Gleeson), for an assignment with a little more action. Well, be careful what you wish for. The agency has recently apprehended the notorious and awesomely named Tobin Frost (Washington), a rogue agent who has been on their wanted list for years. Minutes after arriving at Weston's safe house, armed assailants breach security and kill everyone in the place while Weston and Frost barely escape.

The screenplay by Davis Guggenheim strings together all the worst clichés of the post-Jason Bourne spy genre. There's a stale romance between Weston and his pretty French girlfriend Ana (Nora Arnezeder). Of course, Ana has no idea that her paramour is a CIA agent and their love is doomed because of his dangerous line of work. Not only is the story derivative, but so are the visuals. The action sequences are done shaky cam style. No surprising since the film was shot by Oliver Wood, the cinematographer for the first three Bourne films. Due to Denzel's involvement, the hyper kinetic feel, and the overly saturated color palette, you'd swear Safe House was directed by Tony Scott. But, no, the director is Swedish-born Daniel Espinosa doing his best Tony Scott impression.

The one redeeming element of Safe House is its ensemble of award winning actors. Vera Farmiga, Brendan Gleeson, and Sam Shepard all play high ranking CIA officials, filling in the roles that Joan Allen, Brian Cox, and Scott Glenn played in the Bourne series. Farmiga really is wasted, especially when you consider she is the closest the movie has to a strong female protagonist. The supporting cast includes character actors like Robert Patrick, Liam Cunningham, Ruben Blades, and Joel Kinnaman, who will be playing Alex Murphy in the upcoming Robocop remake. Each man is a welcome addition, but the focus is on the antagonistic relationship between Ryan Reynolds and Denzel Washington. It's clear the filmmakers were gunning for a Training Day dynamic with Reynolds as the naïve, fresh-faced rookie and Washington as the dangerous loose cannon. Unfortunately, their interactions are nothing more than a pale imitation of those by Washington and Ethan Hawke. Safe House doesn't even have the fun interplay that Washington and Chris Pine had in Unstoppable. Reynolds, who is naturally charismatic and funny, is rendered dull as dishwater with a thinly drawn character with traits we've seen a dozens of times. Meanwhile, Washington barely registers, despite possessing a commanding screen presence.

Safe House was hit theaters in February during the doldrums of the Hollywood studio release schedule. It came out right alongside other formulaic action films such as Contraband and Underworld: Awakening. Despite featuring great actors like Denzel Washington, Safe House suffers from a script that is utterly predictable and generic. Still, the film did well at the box office pulling in $202 million worldwide off a budget of $85 million. If you're a fan of Denzel and Ryan Reynolds and aren't looking for anything challenging, you could do worse than Safe House. Not exactly a glowering recommendation.

Rating: ** (*****)

The Change-Up

The Change-Up - Dir. David Dobkin (2011)

2011 has been flush with raunchy, R-rated comedies. Though it received poor reviews, The Hangover Part II was undoubtedly the biggest financial success with a box office gross of over $300 million. Bridesmaids was more critically accepted and one of the better films of the year. There were also plenty of also-rans like Bad Teacher, Horrible Bosses, Friends with Benefits, and Hall Pass. Then, there's The Change-Up which takes a low-brow, Judd Apatow-style approach to that 80's staple – the body switch movie. Think Freaky Friday and Vice Versa with plenty of dick and poop jokes.

Dave Lockwood (Jason Bateman) is a workaholic lawyer with a loving wife, Jamie (Leslie Mann), and three kids. When he's not putting in long hours at the office and bucking for a promotion, Dave is up in the wee hours of the morning changing diapers and heating formula. His best friend, Mitch Planko (Ryan Reynolds), has no such responsibilities. As a wannabe actor, Mitch spends his days smoking pot, playing video games, and having kinky sex with a steady stream of loose women. After a night at the bar, the two of them piss into a fountain while idly wishing they had each others' lives.

The next morning, Dave and Mitch are shocked to discover they've switched bodies. To make matters worse, the magical fountain has been removed and lost in a sea of bureaucracy. They must make the most of their strange situation until they can find a way to switch back. Mitch is in way over his head taking care of a family while negotiating a multi-million dollar merger. On the other hand, Dave enjoys his new freedom as a carefree bachelor. There's even the possibility of a dalliance with his gorgeous assistant, Sabrina (Olivia Wilde). Is it really cheating if you're in someone else's body?

Don't expect The Change-Up to intelligently deal with high-falutin' questions of morality. Its primary concern is revealed during an opening scene featuring a baby's undulating sphincter followed by a shot of Jason Bateman getting a mouthful of projectile feces. The scatological humor is a recurring theme in The Change-Up with another gag involving Leslie Mann making a very noisy bowel movement and Ryan Reynolds being forced to stick his thumb up a woman's butthole during a making of a "lorno" (a light porno). The woman, by the way, is played by Taafe O'Connell, the scream queen best known for being raped by a giant worm in the Roger Corman production, Galaxy of Terror. I'm no prude. I enjoy good toilet humor every now and then, but the gross-out gags of The Change-Up wear thin real quick.

If an R-rated comedy can't offer up a few decent chuckles, you can at least expect some quality nudity, but The Change-Up isn't even able to do that. While we do see several actresses in various states of undress (including Leslie Mann), those breasts were all done through prosthetics or CGI. Those delightfully digital nipples may be fool many, but later effects depicting toddlers juggling kitchen knives and banging their heads against a crib are thoroughly unconvincing.

One reason why a film like Freaky Friday works is because there is a drastic difference between the two protagonists who have switched, Barbara Harris changing with a teenaged Jodie Foster or Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan in the remake. There isn't a lot to separate Bateman and Reynolds, especially since their acting styles and deliveries aren't far from each other. Bateman gets a little more to do than simply play the straight man, but Reynolds runs through his usual wisecracking persona throughout. Alan Arkin is completely wasted in a throwaway role as Mitch's disappointed dad. Olivia Wilde provides some of the film's few bright spots just by being cool and insanely hot.

You'd think Michael Bluth switching bodies with the Green Lantern would be more fun. "The Change-Up" had a lot of potential as it starred two proven comedic actors in Jason Bateman and Ryan Reynolds. It was helmed by David Dobkin, the director of "Wedding Crashers," and written by Jon Lucas and Scott Moore, who also penned "The Hangover" movies. Unfortunately, everyone goes through the motions. The results are a movie that is lazy, puerile, and ultimately forgettable.

Rating: * ½ (*****)

Green Lantern

Green Lantern – Dir. Martin Campbell (2011)

"In brightest day, in blackest night
No evil shall escape my sight
Let those who worship evil's might
Beware my power
Green Lantern's light!"

There was a time when Marvel Comics was incapable of getting a decent movie made. Fanboys still have nightmares about the Dolph Lundgren Punisher or the previous Captain America with the rubber ears. Nowadays, Marvel rules the roost as they build to next year's ultimate team-up, The Avengers, while other characters make the leap to the silver screen on an annual basis. DC, their "distinguished competitor," hasn't had much luck recently outside of Christopher Nolan's Bat-films. The Man of Steel is getting another reboot after the failure of Superman Returns while popular superheroes like Wonder Woman and The Flash have been trapped in development hell. DC is hoping to change their fortunes with Green Lantern, based on a character that isn't a household name like Superman or Batman.

The original Green Lantern was created back in 1940 by Martin Nodell and Bill Finger, a writer who was instrumental to the early days of Batman. Alan Scott was a railroad engineer who carved a lantern and ring out of a mysterious, green meteor. In the 1950’s, DC was experiencing a renaissance and many of their Golden Age superheroes were being revamped with a more sci-fi bent during a time where nuclear power and the space race were making the headlines. This Green Lantern was Hal Jordan, who has become one of DC's most popular and enduring creations.

Ryan Reynolds plays Hal as a cocksure test pilot, still haunted by the fatal crash that killed his father (Jon Tenney), also a pilot. One night, he inherits a power ring from a dying alien named Abin Sur (Temuera Morrison). Abin Sur is a member of the Green Lantern Corps, an intergalactic police force created by a race of ancients known as the Guardians of the Universe. Abin Sur has been mortally wounded by an enemy known as Parallax (voiced by Clancy Brown), a primal being that feeds off fear.

Hal discovers he is the first human being to ever be inducted into the Corps. The ring taps into the emerald energy of willpower and allows him to create anything he can imagine. Meanwhile, Hector Hammond (Peter Sarsgaard), a nebbish biology professor is infected by a shard of Parallax. He mutates into an Elephant Man-looking supervillain with telepathic powers.

As the newest Green Lantern, Hal must learn to wield the ring and save the Earth from the threat of Parallax.

Green Lantern has largely been savaged by critics upon release. It currently rests at a dismal 26% on Rotten Tomatoes, a low score though nowhere near as embarrassing as the 13% Jonah Hex. While I don't believe the film deserves the shellacking it has received, it doesn't deserve a whole lot of praise. Green Lantern is just disappointing and mediocre.

There is a lot to take in as the film acts as a formulaic origin story and an introduction to the heavy mythology of the comics. As such, the story gets bogged down with endless exposition told in the most uninteresting manner. At approximately 100 minutes, the movie doesn't have a lot of time to introduce the main characters, the concept of the Green Lantern Corps and their powers as well as their enemies and their powers. Yet, Green Lantern still finds time to grind the forward momentum to a halt with an inordinate amount of superfluous scenes.

The Green Lanterns take their name from a green lantern, which serves as the power source for their rings. When Hal Jordan first taps his ring to the lantern, he learns the oath before being interrupted by friend and fellow pilot, Carol Ferris (Blake Lively). He goes to the bar with her in such a blatantly Top Gun moment that when he starts to sing, you think he'll bust out with "You've Lost That Loving Feeling." Then, Hal gets into a fight out in the parking lot. Then, he gets whisked away to the Green Lanterns' homeworld of Oa. Were those previous scenes even necessary? Why not simply have Hal speak the oath then travel to the headquarters to keep the story moving? Alas, this brand of sloppiness is indicative of the disjointed screenplay credited to four different writers.

Green Lantern is another one of those comic book pictures where the hero mopes a lot and contemplates hanging up his tights. Heaven forbid we ever get a superhero movie with a superhero that actually enjoys being a superhero. Hal Jordan has a cool job, is obscenely handsome, and then gains the ability to create almost anything he wants. How can he possibly spend so much time forlornly staring at his belly button? Hal trains with Green Lanterns Sinestro (Mark Strong), Kilowog (Michael Clarke Duncan), and Tomar-Re (Geoffrey Rush) for all of ten minutes before he arbitrarily takes his ball and goes home.

All the angst is a disservice to Ryan Reynolds, who excels at playing snarky characters. In the comics, Hal Jordan is more of a straight-arrow, but Reynolds makes him more of an irresponsible wiseass who must grow into the role of hero. He's not my first choice for the character (Nathan Fillion?), but he's charismatic and does a fine job carrying the picture on his shoulders. That's more than can be said for the woefully miscast Blake Lively, who is far too young to pass for an experienced jet pilot. The filmmakers are obviously going for a Clark-Lois feel to the romance between Carol and Hal, but their scenes have none of the spark that Christopher Reeve and Margot Kidder possessed. On the other hand, Mark Strong gives a better performance than this movie deserves, lending a legitimacy to all the silliness. Of all the broadly drawn characters in Green Lantern, Sinestro is the only one you want to see more of. Not to spoil anything, but, yes, a guy named Sinestro will eventually turn evil (make sure to stay midway through the credits).

A hero is only as good as his villains and Green Lantern features some of the weakest villains in a comic movie since Ghost Rider. Hector Hammond serves as a secondary villain, but one that adds absolutely nothing to the film. This is not a knock on Peter Sarsgaard, who gives the kind of mannered performance you expect from a lighthearted comic book movie. There are times when it seems he's doing the world's best John Malkovich impression. However, Sarsgaard can do little while hidden behind a ridiculous make-up job that makes him look like Rocky Dennis from Mask. There's also a poorly drawn backstory about Hal, Carol, and Hector being childhood friends. Aside from the fact that their ages are completely different, their shared history is only introduced halfway through the picture in one scene with a handful of dialogue. Then, you have Parallax, who is essentially a giant cloud of smog with a face. There is nothing exciting about watching the good guy fight a cloud. Did nobody learn their lesson from Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer? Give the hero somebody he can punch.

As a summer blockbuster, Green Lantern will live and die based on the special effects, which are a mixed bag. Watching Hal create various constructs in battle was neat, even if some of them were goofy (a Hot Wheels race track, really?). The FX artists went into a great level of detail in creating the alien Green Lanterns. Despite being mere background filler, they all look unique and hardcore fans will have fun spotting comic characters like Boodikka, Stel, Bzzd, and Gallius Zed. G'nort, I'm afraid is nowhere to be found. Yet, one of the film's few strengths is also one of its most glaring weaknesses. There are over 3600 Green Lanterns, but not a single one could be bothered to help this inexperienced rookie against a universal threat of epic proportions?

Warner Brothers went with the decision to give Green Lantern a wholly CGI uniform rather than a physical one. There are shots where the costume looks cool, highlighted by pulsating energy. In other shots, it looks like a bad Photoshop job. Much like Thor, Green Lantern has a heavy sci-fi/fantasy element. Thor divided the story between Earth and the otherworldly realm of Asgard while Green Lantern struggles to find a balance between its bland Earth scenes and the planet of Oa. Both suffer from video game-style graphics, but Asgard had a sense of grandeur lacking in Oa, which looks incredibly dank and primitive, not at all fitting for a race of wise ancients. Martin Campbell, who is a competent action director, seems out of his element on a film so reliant on CGI.

Rounding out the main cast is Angela Bassett, who is thoroughly wasted as Amanda Waller, a shadowy government operative. If you're a comics fan, you'll know Waller is an important character in the DC Universe and should have been the movie version should have been the equivalent of Samuel L. Jackson's Nick Fury. Tim Robbins is also thrown in as Sen. Robert Hammond, Hector's overbearing father because everyone in this movie has daddy issues in lieu of actual personalities.

Audiences are definitely feeling superhero fatigue. As more and more of these characters are brought to life, it becomes harder for studios to differentiate themselves from previous entries in the genre. Elements in Green Lantern have already been conveyed more effectively in films like Iron Man and Thor. If it had been released earlier, Green Lantern may have fared better. As it stands, the movie is the by-product of bad committee filmmaking. It's a scattered mess lacking in depth and originality. Warner Brothers reportedly sunk $300 million into the production and marketing campaign, but pulled in a meager $53 opening weekend. The poor domestic take spells doom for a potential sequel as well as plans for other characters and the fanboy dream of a Justice League flick.

Green is a lucky color for some, but it hasn't been so for superheroes this year with The Green Hornet and Green Lantern failing to connect with audiences. Poor Green Arrow will have to wait awhile.

Rating: * ½ (*****)

Paper Man

Paper Man - Dirs. Kieran & Michelle Mulroney (2010)

Indie films sure love odd, emotionally damaged characters. First-time filmmakers Kieran & Michelle Mulroney throw their lot into the mix with Paper Man, which started as a script they workshopped at the Sundance Institute.

Jeff Daniels plays Richard Dunn, an author struggling to write his second novel, a book about the extinction of the heath hens. His wife (Lisa Kudrow), a successful vascular surgeon, rents him a cottage in a seaside town in Long Island to give him a chance to clear his writer's block and a break from their rocky marriage. However, Dunn spends most of his time wallowing in self-pity and talking to his childhood imaginary friend, Captain Excellent (Ryan Reynolds), a garishly-clad superhero. He also builds a couch out of copies of his first novel and rides around on a children's bike because it's all so wacky. Dunn bumps into the resident brooding teenager in Abby (Emma Stone), who has a mopey best friend (Kieran Culkan) and a Neanderthal for a boyfriend (Hunter Parrish). He hires Abby to be his babysitter for the night, despite the fact that he has no kids. When Abby learns the truth, she shrugs it off as well as any form of common sense. And thus begins a strange and platonic friendship between two fellow outsiders.

Paper Man is like a patchwork cobbling of Lost in Translation with a 21st century hipster version of Harvey. It's filled with indie movie clichés like the quirky, paper-cut title sequence and the Elliot Smith-esque, sullen guitar score. Daniels is solid in the lead, but he's already portrayed the stunted, intellectual writer in The Squid and the Whale and The Answer Man. We're supposed to feel for his crumbling marriage, but it's a difficult proposition to sympathize with a couple of whiny, well-off Manhattanites. Emma Stone basically plays the Kat Dennings/Olivia Thilrby role. To her credit, she brings a warmth and soulfulness to an ironically paper thin and stereotypical character.

Ryan Reynolds certainly looks the part of a superhero with his bleached blonde hair and goofy looking tights. He does his best, but the Captain Excellent scenes are just a car wreck. They are just astoundingly unfunny and simply shoehorned into the narrative. He could have easily been cut from the picture, if not for the fact that the Mulroneys deemed it necessary to add another eccentric layer to their film.

Paper Man deserves to be tossed into the recycling bin. It recycled ideas from better movies without capturing any sense of raw emotion.

Rating: * ½

Buried

Buried - Dir. Rodrigo Cortes (2010)

Are audiences willing to spend 90 minutes trapped inside a box with Ryan Reynolds? Director Rodrigo Cortes and writer Chris Sparling hope the answer is yes.

Reynolds is Paul Conroy, a civilian truck driver contracted to work in Iraq. Buried begins literally in the dark as Conroy awakens and fumbles for his lighter. To his horror, he has been buried alive. Terrorists attacked his convoy and demand a substantial ransom before revealing his location to the authorities. At Conroy's disposal, are the aforementioned lighter and a cell phone. He desperately attempts to contact anyone he can for help as well as his wife (Samantha Mathis).

Conroy reaches out to 911, the FBI, and the State Department as we listen in on his frantic calls. He is eventually put in contact with a special task force assigned to these abductions. We also bear witness to his chilling conversations with the kidnappers. Conroy's emotions run the gamut of fear, frustration, desperation, and anger. Though the unseen villains threaten his very life, the most frightening call is perhaps the one he receives from his employers who coldly fire him in order to absolve themselves from any lawsuit or hefty insurance payout.

Films like Buried have been attempted before. Open Water centered on a couple left alone in shark infested waters after their tour boat departs without them. Frozen was about three skiers forced to battle the elements when they are trapped on a ski lift after the resort shuts down for the weekend. Both movies were praised for their high concept premises, but neither had enough story to fill their feature-length run times.

It is a testament to the talents of Cortes and Reynolds that they are able to sustain suspense throughout Buried. Cortes wisely varies his camera angles to keep the movie fresh while maintaining a strong sense of claustrophobia and impending doom. Reynolds is also excellent, proving he can play more than just the smart-aleck. He does display his trademark flippancy on rare occasions, but he's able to convey a wider range than any previous roles. He's likable enough to gain sympathy necessary to make his predicament all the more harrowing.

Buried does cheat a little. Conroy's limited air supply is a danger, but it doesn't seem to factor in when he's constantly speaking and thrashing about. He's also burning precious oxygen with his Zippo. Still, it is a well-made thriller that doesn't need to resort to blood and guts to keep you on the edge of your seat.

Rating: ***

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

X-Men Origins: Wolverine - Dir. Gavin Hood (2009)


”I’m the best there is at what I do, but what I do isn’t very nice.”

Wolverine has consistently been one of Marvel’s most popular characters for the past three decades, yet his origins have remained a mystery for most of that time. Little bits and pieces have come to light though the revelations that his memories were tampered with placed many of those stories suspect. He’d been given adamantium as part of a secret military experiment. He was part of black ops team with other mutants. He fought Nazis during World War II alongside Captain America. It wasn’t until 2001 that Marvel published Origin, a six-issue mini-series that definitively depicted Wolverine’s childhood. That series provided the genesis for the long-awaited spin-off film.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine begins with a brief prologue built around a tragic event in Wolverine’s childhood in the mid-1800’s. His father is murdered and a young James Howlette (later Logan) pops his bone claws for the very first time. He and half-brother, Victor Creed (who will eventually grow up to be Sabretooth), flee and promise to watch each others’ backs from then on. From there, we watch an opening credits sequence of Logan and Victor battling side-by-side in the Civil War, World Wars I & II, and finally Vietnam. Creed goes berserk in ‘Nam leading them to face down a firing squad. Both survive because of their mutant healing factors and are recruited by William Stryker (Danny Huston) for an elite squad of mutants. The group includes Agent Zero (Daniel Henney), Fred J. Dukes AKA the Blob (Kevin Durand), Chris Bradley AKA Bolt (Dominic Monaghan), the teleporter John Wraith (will.i.am), and Wade Wilson (Ryan Reynolds). After viewing the atrocities committed by his teammates, Logan chooses to walk away and lives a quiet life as a lumberjack with his schoolteacher girlfriend Kayla (Lynn Collins). When Creed begins hunting for him, Logan volunteers for the adamantium bonding process in order to get revenge on the man he called ‘brother.’ During the course of the film, we’re also introduced to fan-favorite characters like Gambit (Taylor Kitsch), Emma Frost (Tahyna Tozzi), and a young Cyclops. Also, look out for cameos from Toad, Banshee, and Quicksilver.

If you thought X-Men: The Last Stand was a slapdash, disappointing effort in the franchise, then you’ll be similarly disappointed with Wolverine. The story attempts to rush through over a hundred years of Wolverine’s life in about an hour and forty minutes. The script by David Benioff (25th Hour, The Kite Runner) and Skip Woods (Swordfish) lacks any substance whatsoever. The opening prologue crams six issues of plot into a matter of minutes. The rest of the film is just a series of action set pieces with a few obligatory emotional sequences in between and wrapped around several predictable plot twists. The resolution is nothing more than a series of pathetic contrivances that are forced in so the prequel can loosely be tied into the other films.

Though the film is supposed to center around Wolverine, filmmakers made sure to stuff their production with as many characters as possible. None of whom get enough screen time to have any resonance and are only around so they can sell spin-offs and toys. It’s the same problem that plagued the third X-film as well as Spider-Man 3. Comic book fans will probably be disappointed that some of these characters weren’t faithful to the source material. For example, the Hudsons, the superhero couple that founded Canadian super-team Alpha Flight, are re-imagined as Ma and Pa Kent.

South African director Gavin Hood first caught producers’ eyes with the Oscar-nominated film, Tsotsi. Hood followed that up with the politically heavy-handed Rendition. This is Hood’s first attempt at a big-budget action spectacle and he seems completely overwhelmed. Hood chooses to go for the most melodramatic shots whenever possible. Characters leap through the air, land in a crouching position, and turn to the camera with a menacing look on their face. Half the film seems to be slow motion close-ups of people standing in action figure poses. On top of that, Wolverine suffers from awful and unconvincing CGI. Quite shocking for a film with a budget of $150 million. A simple scene of Logan scraping his adamantium claws together looks like a cheap cartoon.

On the positive side, much of the acting is well-done. Hugh Jackman has mastered the gruff charm of the Ol’ Canucklehead and he’s able sprinkle in a few light moments in the film. Both Danny Huston and Liev Schreiber are excellent in their roles. I almost wish there was a way to George Lucas X-Men and put him in as Sabretooth. Despite his prominence in the film’s ad campaign, Ryan Reynolds has only a tiny role in the film. Comic fans know Reynolds’ character as Deadpool the Merc with a Mouth, and he manages to accurately portray Wade Wilson’s gift of gab. It’s a shame he was so criminally underused and it’s doubly shameful that Deadpool was so massively mishandled.

X-Men: The Last Stand suffered much critical drubbing from reviewers and comic fans, but it received the biggest box office open of all three X-Men films. It seems Fox decided to use the same hackneyed formula for Wolverine. While it garnered a wealth of poor reviews, an opening weekend take of over $80 million won’t change Fox’s mind in regards to its handling of Marvel properties. Iron Man helped Marvel kick off last summer’s blockbuster season to rousing success, but Wolverine is a mediocre beginning for 2009.

Rating: **

Adventureland

Adventureland - Dir. Greg Mottola (2009)


”We are doing the work of lazy pathetic morons.”

Miramax’s marketing campaign is misleading when it comes to the latest film by Greg Mottola, the writer/director of the raunchy Superbad. Mottola’s third picture is the semi-autobiographical, Adventureland, a much more mature and low-key coming-of-age tale. There are moments of slapstick and hilarity sprinkled throughout, but the meat of the story lies in its themes of love, heartbreak, and uncertainty. Thematically, it’s been compared to The Graduate, but I’d say Adventureland is more like Dazed and Confused filtered through the lens of Freaks & Geeks.

James Brennan (Jesse Eisenberg) has just graduated college with a degree in comparative literature. He’s looking forward to a summer long trip to Europe before beginning grad school at Columbia where he’ll study journalism. James has plans to become a travel writer. However, a wrench is thrown into the works when his dad takes a pay cut and they can no longer afford it. James moves back home to Pittsburgh where he’s forced to get a job. With no real work experience, the best he can find is a menial job at the local amusement park. Adventureland is run by Bobby (Bill Hader) and his wife Paulette (Kristen Wiig) who size James up as a games man. Transformed into a glorified carny, James is tasked with manning the booths of rigged games and appropriately doling out the cheap prizes.

James meets a variety of denizens at the park including an old childhood friend named Frigo (Matt Bush) who has grown into a crude and obnoxious man-child with a habit of punching James in the nuts at an inopportune time. Then again, I suppose there’s never an opportune time to get punched in the nuts. James also befriends Joel (Martin Starr), a lanky pipe-smoking literati with an affinity for Nikolai Gogol. But, the big one is Em (Kristen Stewart), a fellow games monkey he quickly falls for. Em comes from a damaged home. Her mother passed away and her father has remarried a cold, passive-aggressive (played by Reno 911’s Mary Birdsong). On top of that, she’s carrying on a clandestine affair with an older married man, Connell (Ryan Reynolds), the park’s handyman who tells bullshit stories about how he once jammed with Lou Reed.

Mottola’s script is an incredibly observant work exploring the relationships of his characters, each one well rounded and relatable. Eisenberg is used to playing these nerdy, awkward teens having played just those in Roger Dodger and The Squid & the Whale. Comparisons have been made between Eisenberg and Michael Cera. Though Eisenberg doesn't come off as glib as Cera, but he is more nuanced. The performances are strong across the board with SNL's Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig stealing every scene they're in.

If there are any complaints to be had with Adventureland, they lie in the third act which felt forced. It was as if Mottola just had to plug in the standard formula in breaking up the characters for the eventually tearful reunion. The resolution feels as if it were dictated by preset plot points and not the actual characters.

Rating: ***

Smokin' Aces

Smokin' Aces - Dir. Joe Carnahan (2007)


Is it possible for a movie to have a ton of stuff happening, but have nothing happen at all? Sure, that movie is called Smokin’ Aces, a tangled web of uninteresting plotlines and anarchic filmmaking. The film is like It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World filtered through the eyes of Quentin Tarantino, then filtered again through the lens of Guy Ritchie. Not surprisingly, Joe Carnahan first emerged among the pack of indie filmmakers of the post-Tarantino era. His debut film Blood, Guts, Bullets, and Octane followed in the footsteps of Ritchie’s action/comedy Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels. Carnahan gained some instant credibility with the gritty crime drama, Narc, which won over Tom Cruise as a fan. Cruise would help Narc gain a wider release and hired Carnahan to direct Mission: Impossible III. The two had creative differences and Carnahan was later replaced by J.J. Abrams. Looking at Smokin’ Aces, it’s easy to see why Ethan Hunt gave Carnahan the boot.

The focal point of the story (such as it is) is a Vegas magician named Buddy “Aces” Israel (Jeremy Piven). Israel’s shows garner a strong following with the local mobsters and pretty soon he’s playing cops and robbers with the big boys. Things don’t work out and Israel is arrested, but promptly skips bail to hide out in a penthouse in Lake Tahoe. Seeing him as a liability, mob boss Primo Sparazza puts a million dollar bounty on the head of Israel. Soon, contract killers and assassins come out of the woodwork to take on the job. Accepting the job are Georgia Sykes (R&B singer Alicia Keys) and her lover Sharice Watters (Taraji P. Henson), master of disguise Lazlo Soot (Tommy Flanagan), the sadistic Pasqual Acosta (Nestor Carbonell), and the psychotic Tremor Brothers, Darwin (Chris Pine, the new Capt. Kirk), Jeeves (Kevin Durand), and Lester (Maury Sterling).

The FBI wants to get their hands on Israel, seeing him as a star witness to topple organized crime. Deputy Director Stanley Locke (Andy Garcia) puts agents Richard Messner (Ryan Reynolds) and his mentor Donald Carruthers (Ray Liotta) on the case. Not to be counted out are a trio of bail bondsmen Jack Dupree (Ben Affleck), Pete Deeks (Peter Berg), and Hollis Elmore (Martin Henderson) who also want to capture Israel. There are still a few other characters that I left out, but I can barely remember half of them. Thank goodness for my old friend Wikipedia.

The first half hour of the film is practically dedicated to exposition. We are methodically introduced to each character and whatever history they have. None of this backstory is particularly interesting or, at least, isn’t told to us in any sort of interesting way. We’re told the Tremor Brothers are neo-Nazi rednecks, but nothing they do or say is any indication that they are neo-Nazis or rednecks. They just dress oddly and carry around big guns and chainsaws. Carnahan seems to be tossing a bunch of goofy caricatures onto the screen to cover up his lack of writing skills. There’s a wacky kid with ADD who practices martial arts and speaks in gangster slang that shows up, if for no other reason than he’s a wacky kid with ADD who practices martial arts and speaks in gangster slang. The same goes for another scene where Bateman’s character wears women’s underwear. I don’t know who he’s supposed to be or what he’s adding to the story, but he’s wearing a bra and panties, so Ha ha ha.

Muddying up the proceedings even further is a subplot involving the cold case murder of an undercover FBI agent. First, the heavy-handed resolution of this B-story can be seen coming from a mile away. Secondly, it feels like something from a different film. In all honesty, I might have enjoyed the film if Carnahan went straight for the jugular and made this an orgy of carnage, bullets, and bloodshed. I could have been happy to check my brain at the door for a battle royal between hitmen and scumbags. Instead, we get this pseudo-FBI thriller/mystery element thrown in to add even more exposition than needed.

I’m shocked that such a hackneyed script was able to acquire such an amazing cast including an unrecognizable Matthew Fox. I’m even more taken aback that Carnahan does absolutely nothing interesting with any of them. Having far too many characters leaves little room for the them to breathe and develop. Not that Carnahan is very interested in that sort of thing, prefering anarchic mayhem and bad jokes.

I’m a big fan of Piven and not just as Ari Gold. I always thought he stood out in the supporting roles he’s played in films like Grosse Pointe Blank and Old School. As Buddy Israel, Piven isn’t so much a humorous character as a man who degenerates both physically and emotionally. However, I couldn’t help but think he could have done more. Reynolds who can display a great, cheeky humor doesn’t get the chance to do any of that here. Andy Garcia is another of fantastic actor wasted in a nothing part as he just sleepwalks through his role. About the one who’s a little more interesting, as an actor and character, is the debuting Alicia Keys as hitwoman Georgia Sykes. She and Tarija Henson add a tough feminine touch to the otherwise testosterone heavy production. It’s too bad they didn’t get meatier scenes. It also doesn’t hurt that Keys looks great in fishnet stockings and thigh-high leather boots.

Smokin’ Aces is about a decade too late to join up with the other Reservoir Dogs, Lock, Stock knockoffs. The film isn’t nearly as hip and cool as it makes out to be.

Rating: * 1/2