Date Night

Date Night - Dir. Shawn Levy (2010)


Putting Steve Carell and Tina Fey together seems like an easy way to find comedic gold. With his work on The Daily Show and The Office, Carrell cemented his status as a bankable movie star following the success of The 40-Year Old Virgin. Fey has done the same on Saturday Night Live and 30 Rock. Though she wrote Mean Girls and took a supporting role, she has yet to find a star vehicle worthy of her talents. Date Night is definitely not it.

Carrell and Fey star as Phil and Claire Foster, married with two kids and living in suburban New Jersey. He’s an accountant and she’s a real estate agent. Hoping to shake up their stagnant relationship, the Fosters hope to get a table at a trendy new restaurant in Manhattan. They wind up stealing another couple’s reservations, which becomes a running gag throughout the movie. A case of mistaken identity sends them on the run from a pair of gun-toting thugs (Common and Jimmi Simpson) who are after a flash drive. That’s just the beginning of one crazy night that involves car chases, crooked cops, and mobsters.

Taraji P. Henson co-stars as a sympathetic police detective and Mark Wahlberg appears as a perennially shirtless securities expert. Mark Ruffalo and Kristen Wiig have maybe one scene each as another married couple on the outs. James Franco and Mila Kunis round out the cast as a two low-rent crooks named Taste and Whippit who originally made the reservation. They almost manage to derail the picture into something livelier.

Those of you expecting Date Night to be a Hitchcockian edge of your seat thriller ala The Man Who Knew Too Much must have severe brain damage. The jokes come straight out of a bad 80’s sitcom with some labored slapstick gags thrown in for good measure. Fey and Carrell are never allowed to rise above the bland, cardboard characters they play, despite their best efforts. Date Night’s funniest moments don’t occur during the movie at all, but in the outtakes shown over the end credits. Given the freedom to adlib, they’re able to show off the natural wit that made them stars, coming up with funnier material than what was provided for them.

Rating: *

Terminator: Salvation

Terminator: Salvation - Dir. McG (2009)

”Better than I thought it would be,” was the best compliment I could muster for the fourth Terminator film which takes place in the dystopian future the protagonists had so desperately hoped to avoid. Set nearly three decades after the original film, Terminator: Salvation is both a prequel and a sequel thanks to its Mobius strip premise of time travel.

The film opens in 2003 with a pair of characters facing death sentences. One is Marcus Wright (Sam Worthington), a convicted murderer waiting a lethal injecting. The other is Dr. Serena Kogan (Helena Bonham Carter), a scientist for Cyberdyne who is dying of cancer. Dr. Kogan convinces Wright that he can do some good by donating his body for research. Jump forward to the year 2018 and Marcus awakens to discover a world of bombed out cities and gun-toting homicidal machines. Judgment Day has come and pass and the humans are now a ragtag army of resistance fighters against the mechanical forces of Skynet. An adult John Connor (Christian Bale) isn’t the chosen one just yet, but he’s getting there. Connor recently learns that Skynet is capturing human prisoners for experiments to create the T-800s that would eventually be sent back in time to kill his mother. He also discovers a deactivation code that can shut down Skynet’s robots which may lead to a decisive victory over the machines. Meanwhile, Wright wanders into the ruins of Los Angeles and meets a teenaged Kyle Reese (Anton Yelchin), the father of John Connor who must be protected at all cost lest his son never come into existence. Salvation also stars Bryce Dallas Howard as John’s wife, Kate; Common as John’s right-hand man Barnes; and Moon Bloodgood as a pilot for the resistance. Even a certain California governor makes a cameo appearance thanks to modern technology.

Terminator gets plenty right in terms of action and visuals. McG provides a surprisingly steady hand from the director’s seat in comparison to his usual flair for MTV-style theatrics. McG had cited Children of Men as an influence and you can see it in one of the action sequences which was filmed in one, long take. The look of the picture is a bleached out combination of sepia and metallic gray, giving the world a grimy, disparate feel. The action itself is more low-key than Terminator 3 which was driven by big, loud explosions. The acting is good with the notable exception of Common who gives several stilted line readings. Christian Bale is fine in the role of John Connor though he is repeating the same growling intensity he displayed as Batman. Bale is overshadowed by his co-stars Sam Worthington and Anton Yelchin, a pair of actors whose stars are definitely on the rise.

Worthington will also star in the upcoming remake of Clash of the Titans as well as James Cameron’s Avatar. Cameron himself recommended Worthington for the role. Yelchin who was great as Chekov in Star Trek plays the younger Kyle Reese just as tough as he was when played by Michael Biehn. Bryce Dallas Howard follows in the footsteps of Linda Hamilton as the mother of the future though she only gets a tiny amount of screen time. Michael Ironside, one of the best character actors ever, ups the growly gruffness as Gen. Ashdown, leader of the resistance.

Still, there’s something ironically mechanical about Terminator: Salvation. The practical effects revolutionized by Stan Winston have given way to CG-monstrosities inspired by Transformers. The story feels like it’s going through the motions without any true emphasis on the actual characters. The story seems more occupied with choking the audience in a cloud of macho testosterone. Themes are laid out questioning the humanity of the humans themselves, but those are explored in a pedestrian manner. Despite all the time travel and set pieces, there were still deeper things running through the first two Terminator films.

The original film was Sarah Connor on the path to realizing she was meant for something more. Terminator 2 was a coming-of-age tale and focused on the young John Connor and Arnold as his surrogate father figure. There really isn’t anything lying beneath the surface of Terminator: Salvation. The script was originally written by the duo of John D. Brancato and Michael Ferris who also wrote Terminator 3 as well as The Game and ::ugh:: Catwoman. The screenplay was extensively rewritten to boost the role of John Connor when Bale expressed interest in playing him rather than Marcus Wright. It passed through the hands of both Paul Haggis and Shield creator Shawn Ryan. It doesn’t have the written-by-committee feel that many Hollywood blockbusters have, but there’s no resonance.

The Terminator is a great film and its sequel Terminator 2: Judgment Day is one of my favorite films of all time. I can watch the latter over and over again, but I don’t have the burning desire to see Terminator: Salvation a second time. It’s a decent enough action film, but lacks the originality of the previous installments.

Rating: ** 1/2

Smokin' Aces

Smokin' Aces - Dir. Joe Carnahan (2007)


Is it possible for a movie to have a ton of stuff happening, but have nothing happen at all? Sure, that movie is called Smokin’ Aces, a tangled web of uninteresting plotlines and anarchic filmmaking. The film is like It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World filtered through the eyes of Quentin Tarantino, then filtered again through the lens of Guy Ritchie. Not surprisingly, Joe Carnahan first emerged among the pack of indie filmmakers of the post-Tarantino era. His debut film Blood, Guts, Bullets, and Octane followed in the footsteps of Ritchie’s action/comedy Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels. Carnahan gained some instant credibility with the gritty crime drama, Narc, which won over Tom Cruise as a fan. Cruise would help Narc gain a wider release and hired Carnahan to direct Mission: Impossible III. The two had creative differences and Carnahan was later replaced by J.J. Abrams. Looking at Smokin’ Aces, it’s easy to see why Ethan Hunt gave Carnahan the boot.

The focal point of the story (such as it is) is a Vegas magician named Buddy “Aces” Israel (Jeremy Piven). Israel’s shows garner a strong following with the local mobsters and pretty soon he’s playing cops and robbers with the big boys. Things don’t work out and Israel is arrested, but promptly skips bail to hide out in a penthouse in Lake Tahoe. Seeing him as a liability, mob boss Primo Sparazza puts a million dollar bounty on the head of Israel. Soon, contract killers and assassins come out of the woodwork to take on the job. Accepting the job are Georgia Sykes (R&B singer Alicia Keys) and her lover Sharice Watters (Taraji P. Henson), master of disguise Lazlo Soot (Tommy Flanagan), the sadistic Pasqual Acosta (Nestor Carbonell), and the psychotic Tremor Brothers, Darwin (Chris Pine, the new Capt. Kirk), Jeeves (Kevin Durand), and Lester (Maury Sterling).

The FBI wants to get their hands on Israel, seeing him as a star witness to topple organized crime. Deputy Director Stanley Locke (Andy Garcia) puts agents Richard Messner (Ryan Reynolds) and his mentor Donald Carruthers (Ray Liotta) on the case. Not to be counted out are a trio of bail bondsmen Jack Dupree (Ben Affleck), Pete Deeks (Peter Berg), and Hollis Elmore (Martin Henderson) who also want to capture Israel. There are still a few other characters that I left out, but I can barely remember half of them. Thank goodness for my old friend Wikipedia.

The first half hour of the film is practically dedicated to exposition. We are methodically introduced to each character and whatever history they have. None of this backstory is particularly interesting or, at least, isn’t told to us in any sort of interesting way. We’re told the Tremor Brothers are neo-Nazi rednecks, but nothing they do or say is any indication that they are neo-Nazis or rednecks. They just dress oddly and carry around big guns and chainsaws. Carnahan seems to be tossing a bunch of goofy caricatures onto the screen to cover up his lack of writing skills. There’s a wacky kid with ADD who practices martial arts and speaks in gangster slang that shows up, if for no other reason than he’s a wacky kid with ADD who practices martial arts and speaks in gangster slang. The same goes for another scene where Bateman’s character wears women’s underwear. I don’t know who he’s supposed to be or what he’s adding to the story, but he’s wearing a bra and panties, so Ha ha ha.

Muddying up the proceedings even further is a subplot involving the cold case murder of an undercover FBI agent. First, the heavy-handed resolution of this B-story can be seen coming from a mile away. Secondly, it feels like something from a different film. In all honesty, I might have enjoyed the film if Carnahan went straight for the jugular and made this an orgy of carnage, bullets, and bloodshed. I could have been happy to check my brain at the door for a battle royal between hitmen and scumbags. Instead, we get this pseudo-FBI thriller/mystery element thrown in to add even more exposition than needed.

I’m shocked that such a hackneyed script was able to acquire such an amazing cast including an unrecognizable Matthew Fox. I’m even more taken aback that Carnahan does absolutely nothing interesting with any of them. Having far too many characters leaves little room for the them to breathe and develop. Not that Carnahan is very interested in that sort of thing, prefering anarchic mayhem and bad jokes.

I’m a big fan of Piven and not just as Ari Gold. I always thought he stood out in the supporting roles he’s played in films like Grosse Pointe Blank and Old School. As Buddy Israel, Piven isn’t so much a humorous character as a man who degenerates both physically and emotionally. However, I couldn’t help but think he could have done more. Reynolds who can display a great, cheeky humor doesn’t get the chance to do any of that here. Andy Garcia is another of fantastic actor wasted in a nothing part as he just sleepwalks through his role. About the one who’s a little more interesting, as an actor and character, is the debuting Alicia Keys as hitwoman Georgia Sykes. She and Tarija Henson add a tough feminine touch to the otherwise testosterone heavy production. It’s too bad they didn’t get meatier scenes. It also doesn’t hurt that Keys looks great in fishnet stockings and thigh-high leather boots.

Smokin’ Aces is about a decade too late to join up with the other Reservoir Dogs, Lock, Stock knockoffs. The film isn’t nearly as hip and cool as it makes out to be.

Rating: * 1/2

Wanted

Wanted - Dir. Timur Bekmambetov (2008)

Wesley Gibson (James McAvoy) is an office drone slaving away in a cubicle. His boss always yells at him and his girlfriend cheats on him with his best friend. His job is terrible, his life is terrible and he knows it. He just can´t or won´t do anything about it. If you couldn´t figure any of that out on your own, Wesley helpfully informs us through his Chuck Palahniuk-inspired narration. Wesley´s father ran out on him years ago and he´s never heard from him since. That is, until the sultry Fox (Angelina Jolie) drops into his life. She tells Wesley his father was one of the greatest assassins in the world and was just murdered on a rooftop. Wesley is inducted into a ancient order of killers known as The Fraternity who take their orders from the Loom of Fate which weaves the names of their targets into its cloth. "Kill one save a thousand," that´s their motto.

He meets the Fraternity´s leader, Sloan (Morgan Freeman), who helps Wesley realize his potential when he orders him to shoot the wings off a swarm of houseflies. Other members include The Gunsmith (Common), The Exterminator (Konstantin Khabensky), The Repairman (Marc Warren), and The Butcher (Dato Baktadze). I think The Baker and The Candlestick Maker are being saved for the sequel. Every member of the Fraternity has a heart that beats at extraordinary speeds giving them an adrenaline boost that allows them to perform superhuman feats. They can also curve the trajectories of their bullets. How? It´s all in the wrists.

Wesley´s assassin training consists of taking vicious beatings from his colleagues, shooting corpses strung up on meat hooks, and riding the roofs of Chicago´s elevated trains. The better to prepare him for the inevitable showdown against his father´s killer, a Fraternity turncoat named Cross (Thomas Kretschmann). That´s the plot in a nutshell. Sure, there are some twists and turns in the third act, but the story is incidental to the action. It´s as if the filmmakers came up with cool action sequences first and built the storyline around them. The first half of the film is Wesley´s training with the obligatory montage and a quick set of scenes following Wesley making his first kills. They might as well have just made Wanted entirely out of action montages set to Danny Elfman's pulse-pounding score.

The basic premise of the movie is completely ludicrous. We´re lead to believe that a small group of weavers a thousand years ago somehow discerned a secret code from the pattern in their cloth. How exactly did they do intel on their targets? They didn´t exactly have Google back then. And is the world of Wanted one without Adolf Hitler and Osama bin Laden? How does a secret society stay so secret when they´ve got members flying across skyscrapers, shooting it out in the middle of a crowded drug store, and evading swarms of police officers? While I´m all for, "It´s only a movie," but, come on, guys.

Director Timur Bekmambetov makes his American debut on Wanted after helming a pair of special effects blockbusters, Night Watch, and Day Watch, in his native Russia. Bekmambetov directs Wanted as if he were John Woo with A.D.D. after someone substituted his Ritalin for Jolt and Red Bull. Bekmambetov cribs heavily from The Matrix utilizing bullet time and making the simple act of a victim shot through the head an excruciatingly elaborate production. Bekmambetov dips into a deep bag of tricks to further spice things up. He uses freeze frames, slow motion, fast motion, zoom-ins, zoom-outs, fast forwards, and rewinds. Bullets strike each other in mid-shot and slick sports cars flip through the air like circus acrobats. Some moviegoers will be astonished at the eye candy while more conservative audience members will likely get a migraine. Throughout it all, Bekmambetov keeps a dark sense of humor. A man gets smashed in the face with the keyboard; the letters and a tooth break off to spell out an obscenity. A laser sighting dots a Hindi woman´s Bindi and a bullet is engraved with the word, "Goodbye."

As far as the acting goes, it´s better than you´d expect from a film like this. Much like Robert Downey Jr. and Edward Norton, James McAvoy appears to be an unlikely choice to anchor a big-budget comic book movie. Yet, he equates himself well though not as much as his contemporaries. McAvoy begins the film with the flabbergasted, deer in the headlights demeanor that you´d expect from the comic relief sidekick and not the action hero lead. But, the Scottish actor sports an almost flawless American accent and pulls off the transformation from nebbish pushover into buff killing machine. Angelina Jolie (she of the thick lips & spindly arms) plays up her image of steamy, sexpot as the tattooed, femme fatale Fox. She is everything a growing boy with raging hormones could want. The smoking hot, kick-ass fantasy girl you wished would drop into your life. When she kisses Wesley in front of his shrill ex-girlfriend, the guys in my theater cheered and hollered. And for those of you who thought they should have seen more when Ms. Jolie emerged from the water naked in Beowulf, you won´t be disappointed here.

Five years ago, I would have said it was impossible for an actor the caliber of Morgan Freeman to participate in such a profane and violent spectacle. Nowadays, the man seems content to appear in sentimental, crowd pleasers like The Bucket List and Evan Almighty, along with genre pictures like Wanted and the Batman franchise. As expected, he lends a bit of credibility to all the silliness and I did giggle like a schoolgirl when I heard Easy Reader curse up a Samuel L. Jackson storm. The filmmakers tried to throw the fanboys a bone with the casting of Terrence Stamp as the mysterious Pekwarsky. Like Freeman, Stamp brings a little extra gravitas to his miniscule part, but General Zod doesn´t get enough screen time and never makes anyone kneel before him.

Now, I switch into comic book geek mode. I pose the question, what is more preposterous? A hidden clan of assassins who take their orders from a giant sewing machine? Or a world where comic book super-villains actually exist and rule the world in secret after having defeated all the super-heroes in a massive war? The latter was the high concept premise of the original comic. Millar loosely based his creations on the rogues´ galleries of DC Comics to form an over-the-top, darkly humorous and nihilistic world.

Producers snatched up the rights before the first issue even came out and had the screenwriters behind 2 Fast 2 Furious and 3:10 To Yuma ditch the super-villain angle and go off in their own direction. I doubt Wanted would have benefited from a 100%, straight-on adaptation ala Sin City, but we´ve seen plenty of movies about assassins. The super-villain plot would have been more unique and given us far more outlandish characters compared to the dull, generic supporting cast of the film. Mr. X and the Repairman don´t compare to a poop monster made of the feces from the 666 most evil humans in history. Maybe mainstream audiences just weren´t ready for Johnny Two-Dicks, a mobster with an evil, talking penis. While I agree with toning down the sheer amorality of the comic, I believe the film lost some of the hook and the acerbic wit of the source material. We´ve had poor attempts at the post-modern comic book movie (Mystery Men, My Super Ex-Girlfriend, Hancock), but I think Wanted could have been the one.

Films like Iron Man, Die Hard, and Terminator 2 have proven blockbuster action flicks can still be intelligent with heart and a sharp script. Wanted has no intelligence, heart or a sharp script. It is a loud, dumb action movie and sometimes that´s all I want. It might not be healthy, but I´ll pass on the filet mignon every once in a while for a Twinkie. Wanted is a Twinkie, a delicious, bloody, profane, bullet-riddled Twinkie. It´s a super-stylized, gun-toting guilty pleasure that´s not afraid to go for the hard R. It´s meant to attract the types of folks who love playing Grand Theft Auto. The action sequences were a helluva lot of fun and the movie appealed to my mentally deranged, inner child.

Rating: ***