The Homesman

The Homesman - Dir. Tommy Lee Jones (2014)

Judging by outward appearances, Tommy Lee Jones doesn't seem to be a jolly old fellow. No surprise that Jones has chosen rather dour material for his directorial efforts. His first film as director, The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada, was a somber modern-day Western about a rancher making his way to Mexico with the corpse of a ranch hand and the Border Agent who killed him. You could hardly call Jones' sophomore feature, The Homesman, a traditional Western. Sure, the period is appropriate, but white hats don't shoot it out with black hats and the hero doesn't triumphantly ride off into the sunset.

The Homesman takes place during the mid-1800's in the desolate territory now known as Nebraska. Life has been harsh, especially for three women driven insane by the rigors of the frontier and an overbearing patriarchal society. Arabella Sours (Grace Gummer) hasn't even hit her 20's and has already lost her three children to diphtheria. Gro Svendsen (Sonja Richter) went mad due to the death of her mother and repeated sexual abuse by her husband. Theoline Bellknapp (Miranda Otto) suffered such a nervous breakdown that she does something unthinkable. In the movie's most harrowing moment, Theoline stumbles towards an outhouse and tosses her newborn infant into the latrine.

The burgeoning town is hardly equipped to handle this pitiable trio, but a church in Iowa has agreed to care for them. When it's clear their husbands are either unable or unwilling to take them, Mary Bee Cuddy (Hilary Swank) volunteers to embark on the journey. Perhaps, she feels a kinship to these women as she hides her own crushing loneliness. Cuddy is 31 and unwed, making her a spinster in everyone's eyes. She's been sharply turned down for marriage because she's too "bossy" and too "plain."

As strong-willed as she is, Mary Bee knows she cannot make the trip on her own. Due to happenstance, she comes across George Briggs (Jones), a buffoonish claim jumper left to hang. Briggs agrees not so much out of chivalry, but to get out of the noose along with $300 and a jug of whiskey.

The Homesman was based on a novel by Glendon Swarthout, who also wrote The Shootist, which was adapted into a film starring a grizzled John Wayne in what would be his final role. Of course, Jones brings grizzled to a whole new level. He's not exactly the most amiable of travel partners. The prim and proper Mary Bee does not end up falling for the gruff Briggs the way Katherine Hepburn did with Bogart in The African Queen. In fact, The Homesman never goes where you expect. The protagonists and their charges are outsiders in a rigid culture. They don't find redemption, happiness or sanity.

Jones turns in a fine performance that goes beyond his trademark surliness. He is able to go to dark place while playing the buffoon. Swank's success ratio hasn't been that spectacular, but her work in The Homesman ranks right up there with Million Dollar Baby and her breakout role in Boys Don't Cry. It's a fierce and heartbreaking performance.

The Homesman has been called an anti-western and a feminist revision of the genre. Jones' sophomore effort certainly has more in common with the existentialism of McCabe and Mrs. Miller and the beautiful bleakness of No Country for Old Men. He unravels the romanticism of the Old West by presenting its ugliness without restraint. One of the more underrated films of 2014.

Rating: *** ½ (*****)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - Dir. Jonathan Liebesman (2014)

Heroes in a half shell…turtle power!

Thirty years ago, two down on their luck artists named Peter Laird and Kevin Eastman when one of them drew an anthropomorphized turtle holding martial arts weapons. That idea grew into a black and white comic book titled Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The issue was a parody of the top selling series of the time, Daredevil, X-Men, and Teen Titans, which featured ninjas, mutants, and teenagers. The tone of the comic aped the grim and gritty style of the 1980's. It was violent with the Turtles killing their enemies and their chief adversary, Shredder, was stabbed, tossed off a roof, and blown up by a grenade. Surprisingly, somebody thought this was a great property for kids. The Turtles were licensed to Playmates who turned them into the catchphrase spewing, pizza munching stars of a family friendly cartoon. They became a merchandising juggernaut and over the next two decades were featured in three live-action films, a CG animated movie, and a myriad of cartoons and comics.

The Turtles are gracing the silver screen once more courtesy of Michael Bay's Platinum Dunes. Yes, the same Michael Bay who assaulted your senses with four mind-numbing Transformers pictures. Bay isn't sitting behind the camera this time around as he's turned the directorial reins over to Jonathan Liebesman, who previously helmed Battle: Los Angeles and Wrath of the Titans. Not that it matters, Bay's fingerprints are all over Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as evidenced by the lowbrow humor, nonsensical action sequences, and blatant product placement. Sure, Pizza Hut was expected, but did we truly need a massive billboard for Project Almanac, another Platinum Dunes production?

Megan Fox, who made tabloid headlines by badmouthing Bay, has evidently kissed and made up as she takes on the role of April O'Neil, intrepid reporter for Channel 6 News. April and her love struck cameraman Vernon Fenwick (Will Arnett) are stuck covering fluff pieces while New York City is terrorized by a criminal organization known as the Foot Clan. A group of mysterious vigilantes have been fighting back to protect the citizens of the Big Apple. April discovers these heroes are super-strong, humanoid turtles who have learned ninjitsu from their rat master Splinter (Danny Woodburn, voiced by Tony Shalhoub). These Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles just happen to have surprising ties to her own past.

Splinter and the Turtles were lab animals for an experiment conducted by April's late-father and Eric Sacks (William Fichtner), who were using a mutagen with the potential to cure all disease. Now, Sacks is in league with the Foot and their shadowy leader, The Shredder (Tohoru Masamune), to unleash a biological weapon on the city in order to sell a cure derived from the Turtles' blood. At least, I think that was the grand scheme, considering it's basically the same one already seen in The Amazing Spider-Man and the last two Transformers. Bad guy attaches device to the top of a skyscraper, stuff explodes, and the good guys dangle precariously as the building topples. The script by Josh Appelbaum and André Nemec (with rewrites by Evan Daughterty) doesn't bother to elaborate.

Franchise devotees were in an uproar when rumors emerged that the Ninja Turtles were going to be of extraterrestrial origins. Thankfully, that plot twist was tossed away. And while the Turtles' origin is slightly more convoluted than necessary it remains true to the TMNT mythology. Contrary to early script leaks and interviews, William Fichtner's Eric Sacks is not Shredder, who remains a formidable foe of Japanese descent. However, it wouldn't be surprising to learn these were last-minute changes to alleviate fan criticism. If nothing else, Eric Sacks is clearly an anglicized variation of Shredder's real name Oroku Saki. Really the actor playing Shredder is inconsequential as the character spends the majority of the movie as a digital effect. He resembles a rejected design of Drift, the samurai caricature from Transformers: Age of Extinction, with Ginsu knives coming out of his hands. The Turtles themselves are re-imagined in a more realistic manner, a complete 180 from the cartoonish suits made by the Jim Henson Company for the original movies.

Ninja Turtles attempts to tread a thin line between realism and cartoony. The filmmakers want a grounded approach ala Christopher Nolan. Hence, you get Turtles that are less adorable and the Foot as paramilitary troops instead of purple-clad ninjas. However, there's no denying the inherent silliness of the concept, especially when you watch a giant talking turtle riding around on a rocket-powered skateboard. The writers seem to have no problem poking fun at the characters and offer a semi-apology when Michelangelo shouts "Cowabunga." At the same time, there's the incessant desire to explain every recognizable Turtle trait as if we absolutely needed to know why the Turtles love pizza or how the Turtles became martial arts masters. Apparently, Splinter simply found a tattered instructional guide. It's the Ratatouille philosophy, anyone can be a ninja. On the other hand, they avoid trying to explain how a turtle living in the sewers could build high-tech devices with holographic displays.

A lot of thought must have gone in to weaving the Ninja Turtles' backstory, but a miniscule amount of effort was given to create three dimensional personalities for the characters. If you remember the original cartoon theme song, you'll know exactly who each Turtle is. Leonardo (Pete Ploszek, voice by Johnny Knoxville) is the leader, Donatello (Jeremy Howard) is the computer expert, Raphael (Alan Ritchson) is the hothead, and Michelangelo (Noel Fisher) is a party dude. By the way, Donatello isn't just a nerd; he's the 21^st century archetype who speaks like Jesse Eisenberg and wears thick glasses. Evidently, mutagen can give you super-strength and enhanced intelligence, but not 20/20 vision.

There are times when the Turtles fade into the background in favor of April's story, much like how the Autobots were bit players in the annoying life of Shia LeBeouf. For her part, Megan Fox isn't bad, she's just wooden and most of the time she's only called upon to stare with wide-eyed puzzlement. It's no spoiler to say that William Fichtner is revealed to be a villain because you don't cast William Fichtner to play a kind-hearted philanthropist. Whoopi Goldberg pops up as April's boss Bernadette Thompson while Abby Elliot appears in two droll scenes as April's roommate. Long-time fans might be pleased at the inclusion of Minae Noji as Karai, a character who has been depicted in some incarnations as Shredder's daughter.

If you thought Will Arnett would bring the funny, think about as the majority of his humor falls flat. Most of the film's gags revolve around how everyone, man or turtle, lusts after Megan Fox. Throw in a fart joke and a few tired references to internet cat memes and Lost and you’ve got yourself Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The only genuine moment of amusement comes from a scene when the Turtles ride an elevator to their showdown with Shredder. Michelangelo beatboxes as his Turtle brothers as percussive instruments as if they were auditioning for Stomp.

The action sequences are actually fun with the centerpiece being a wild chase down a snow-covered mountain. The humans hang on for dear life inside an out-of-control 18-wheeler while the Turtles use their shells as sleds and offensive weapons, turning themselves into living cannonballs. When Splinter leaps into the fray, it's reminiscent of Yoda finally cutting loose in Attack of the Clones.

Early on, the film hints at the mutagen may have come from outer space in a foreshadowing of Krang, the alien brain from Dimension X. Nothing about the latest Turtles picture makes me yearn for a sequel so the producers could screw up Casey Jones, Rocksteady, and Bebop. I wouldn't say Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is as stale as day-old pizza because day-old pizza can still be pretty good. The movie is clearly targeted to the young kids who will buy the action figures and the Ninja Turtle pajamas. Older fans will find that these turtles are an empty shell of their former selves.

Rating: * ½ (*****)

The Lone Ranger

The Lone Ranger - Dir. Gore Verbinski (2013)

Nobody expected Pirates of the Caribbean to be a hit. It was a movie based on a ride at Disneyland. The star, Johnny Depp, was a respected actor, but not a box office draw. Plus, the last pirate movie to hit screens was the abysmal Cutthroat Island, a notorious flop that hastened the demise of Carolco, the production company responsible for Terminator 2 and Basic Instinct. Pirates was not only a triumph, it spawned one of the biggest money making franchises in movie history. Each of the three sequels is ranked in the top 20 of highest worldwide grosses, plus Depp received an Oscar nomination for his memorable portrayal of Capt. Jack Sparrow.

While Hollywood has produced several quality Westerns over the last several years (3:10 to Yuma, Django Unchained), it wasn't a genre considered to be a huge attraction. Disney was looking to change that perception with The Lone Ranger. They put the Pirates band back together including Depp, producer Jerry Bruckheimer, director Gore Verbinski, composer Hans Zimmer, and screenwriters Ted Elliot & Terry Rossio (with a rewrite by Justin Haythe).

The Lone Ranger and his faithful sidekick, Tonto, debuted on a 1933 radio drama, but his most popular incarnation is the ABC television series that aired from 1949 to 1957 with Clayton Moore and Jay Silverheels in the lead roles. The least popular version would have to be The Legend of the Lone Ranger, a live-action film released in 1981 to capitalize on the success of the Superman movies. Legend was a critical and commercial failure and immediately sank the career of its star, Klinton Spilsbury, who never acted again. Spilsbury was no Christopher Reeve. He upset many crewmembers with his egotistical behavior, his drinking, and a mediocre performance that led producers to dub over his voice. Disney's Lone Ranger was also plagued with production woes. Filming was delayed due to the studio wanting to trim the bloated budget of $225 million. They cut it down to a mere $200 million. Not that it mattered because the picture wound up spending the difference and then some. Remember when Westerns didn't cost the GNP of a small country because all you needed was a horse, a desert, and a guy with a gun?

John Reid (Armie Hammer) returns to his dusty hometown of Colby, Texas after studying law back east. His brother, Dan (James Badge Dale), is a member of the Texas Rangers and Colby's primary lawman and is married to John's former girlfriend, Rebecca (Ruth Wilson). Progress is about to transform Colby into a vital hub thanks to the construction of the Transcontinental Railroad overseen by tycoon Latham Cole (Tom Wilkinson). The Reids and a team of Rangers set out into the desert to capture a recently escaped outlaw named Butch Cavendish (William Fichtner). An ambush by Cavendish and his gang leaves everyone dead, except for John who is rescued by Tonto (Depp), a Comanche on his own mission of vengeance.

Anything unique Verbinski and Depp had to say about the Western, they told it all in the delightfully quirky Rango. The Lone Ranger is painfully formulaic in spite of Verbinski quoting from the works of John Ford and Sergio Leone. He even throws in a visual reference to The Flight of the Red Balloon. The beautiful shots of Monument Valley aren't nearly enough to distract from a bloated runtime of nearly two and a half hours. Borrowing from Little Big Man, Verbinski employs a framing device in which an elderly Tonto, posing as a mannequin in a traveling sideshow, recounts his tale to a young boy. These sequences are one of many that attempt to deal with America's bloody history and the indignant treatment of Native Americans, along with Chinese rail workers. However, the movie never digs deeper into those topics because it is a Disney movie. Thus, we get a brutal scene where a Comanche tribe is massacred by machine gun fire that is completely undercut by Laurel & Hardy-style slapstick involving the Ranger and Tonto on a seesaw cart. There's no payoff to the sideshow scenes either. Too bad Sony has the rights to the Green Hornet, otherwise the kid could have been revealed to be Britt Reid, the Hornet's alter-ego and Dan's grand-nephew.

The tonal inconsistencies are a major problem beyond the failed blend of violence and humor. Throughout the picture, the Ranger is a source of derision in spite of the studio's desire to make him into a modern, bad-ass character. There's a constant mocking of the Ranger iconography with people asking, "What's with the mask," as a bad running joke. When the Ranger shouts his catchphrase, "Hi-yo, Silver! Away!," Tonto emphatically tells him to never do it again.

The Lone Ranger falls into the same trap of many origin stories in that the protagonist doesn't become the hero we know until the end. The final act is the best part of the movie with a pair of runaway trains on parallel tracks. It's the same type of outlandish set piece that the Pirates series did so well. The film is almost invigorated when the Ranger's theme, the William Tell Overture, finally kicks in and the masked man rides to the rescue of Rebecca, who is in full Perils of Pauline mode.

Although the movie is entitled, The Lone Ranger, Johnny Depp's Tonto is the obvious star. Depp tries to recapture the magic of Jack Sparrow with another idiosyncratic performance, but there isn't anything particularly memorable about his Tonto. The same goes for Armie Hammer, who was great in The Social Network, but is given nothing but the blandest material to work with. As brothel owner, Red Harrington, Helena Bonham Carter seems to have wandered off a Tim Burton set and is more than welcome though she could have been easily cut.

The Lone Ranger is an indulgent mess that failed to achieve a fraction of the success of the first Pirates movie. In the end, it will go down as another costly failure for Disney alongside Mars Needs Moms and John Carter.

Rating: * ½ (*****)

Drive Angry

Drive Angry 3D - Dir. Patrick Lussier (2011)

How have we been subjected to two Nicolas Cage movies when it's only March? Drive Angry is exactly what it advertises, Nic Cage is angry and he drives. He drives angry.

Cage sits behind the wheel as John Milton. Yeah, because I wouldn't have taken this movie seriously unless they made a Paradise Lost reference. Anyways, Milton literally escapes from Hell to hunt down Jonah King (Billy Burke), a cult leader who murdered Milton's daughter and plans to sacrifice her baby for a satanic ritual. Milton blows bad guys away with his shotgun and is completely irresistible to every woman he comes across. Who could resist that luxurious head of greasy, stringy blonde hair? Milton receives assistance from a feisty waitress named Piper (Amber Heard), who drives a '69 Dodge Charger. Dogging their trail is The Accountant (William Fichtner), a demonic emissary, who is half-Terminator and half-Anton Chigurh. He cuts a swath of destruction across the south as he attempts to retrieve the errant Milton. David Morse also has a brief role as a former associate of Milton's by the name of Webster. I'm guessing his first name was Daniel, as in the Devil and…

Drive Angry is the latest film to try and recapture the exploitation magic of low-budget 70's grindhouse cinema, which has become so fashionable as of late. Unfortunately, it lacks the inventiveness of Machete and the hilarity of Black Dynamite. There is plenty of blood, bullets, and boobs to be found, but there's nothing particularly exciting or original about the action sequences. In a rip-off of Shoot 'Em Up, Cage kills a horde of henchmen while simultaneously banging a buxom blond. Later, the Accountant plows through a police blockade in a tanker truck while listening to "That's the Way (I Like It)." While shot in 3D, Drive Angry doesn't benefit a lick from the process with very little difference between it and conversion jobs. The 3D effects amount to nothing more than bullets and random debris flying at the screen.

When the writers aren't peppering in weak literary references to prove that they passed high school English, they’re concocting ludicrous dialogue like, "Hell is already walking the Earth," and Amber Heard's classic, "Ah'm gonna tell everyone what ah caught you doin' with mah pink dildo."

Speaking of whom, Heard's hotness is the best thing going on in Drive Angry. Director Patrick Lussier (who also helmed the atrocious My Bloody Valentine 3D) knows enough to give the male demographics a Megan Fox shot of Amber Heard with the young starlet dressed in cut-off denim shorts and bent over the hood of a car. The second best thing in the movie is William Fitchner, who resembles a younger Christopher Walken, gives a scene chewing performance as the Accountant. On the other hand, Cage is surprisingly restrained and this is one instance when you wish the cuffs were taken off. Every once in a while you see a gleam in his eyes as if Cage were about to go batshit bonkers. An unleashed Cage can be a sight to behold as evidenced in Wicker Man and Bad Lieutenant. Alas, he's just plain dull and uncharismatic.

Drive Angry is clearly marketed towards muscle car driving, meat eating, red blooded American males. Too bad for Summit Entertainment, they avoided it in droves. Drive Angry has gone down as the lowest grossing 3D movie given a wide release. The film all but disappeared from theaters a week after opening, pushed off 3D screens by an even bigger box office bomb in Disney's Mars Needs Moms.

Rating: * ½ (*****)

Date Night

Date Night - Dir. Shawn Levy (2010)


Putting Steve Carell and Tina Fey together seems like an easy way to find comedic gold. With his work on The Daily Show and The Office, Carrell cemented his status as a bankable movie star following the success of The 40-Year Old Virgin. Fey has done the same on Saturday Night Live and 30 Rock. Though she wrote Mean Girls and took a supporting role, she has yet to find a star vehicle worthy of her talents. Date Night is definitely not it.

Carrell and Fey star as Phil and Claire Foster, married with two kids and living in suburban New Jersey. He’s an accountant and she’s a real estate agent. Hoping to shake up their stagnant relationship, the Fosters hope to get a table at a trendy new restaurant in Manhattan. They wind up stealing another couple’s reservations, which becomes a running gag throughout the movie. A case of mistaken identity sends them on the run from a pair of gun-toting thugs (Common and Jimmi Simpson) who are after a flash drive. That’s just the beginning of one crazy night that involves car chases, crooked cops, and mobsters.

Taraji P. Henson co-stars as a sympathetic police detective and Mark Wahlberg appears as a perennially shirtless securities expert. Mark Ruffalo and Kristen Wiig have maybe one scene each as another married couple on the outs. James Franco and Mila Kunis round out the cast as a two low-rent crooks named Taste and Whippit who originally made the reservation. They almost manage to derail the picture into something livelier.

Those of you expecting Date Night to be a Hitchcockian edge of your seat thriller ala The Man Who Knew Too Much must have severe brain damage. The jokes come straight out of a bad 80’s sitcom with some labored slapstick gags thrown in for good measure. Fey and Carrell are never allowed to rise above the bland, cardboard characters they play, despite their best efforts. Date Night’s funniest moments don’t occur during the movie at all, but in the outtakes shown over the end credits. Given the freedom to adlib, they’re able to show off the natural wit that made them stars, coming up with funnier material than what was provided for them.

Rating: *

The Dark Knight

The Dark Knight - Dir. Christopher Nolan (2008)


"How 'bout a magic trick?"

Am I allowed to call The Dark Knight, the Citizen Kane of comic book movies? Well, I don’t care because I am calling it that.

It's hard to even categorize the film as just a straight superhero movie. The tone and atmosphere is more in line with crime epics like Heat, The Departed, or The Untouchables. The opening bank robbery feels like a sequence taken directly from a Michael Mann movie. And with a runtime of over 2 and a half hours, The Dark Knight is the Bat-epic we've been waiting for. Christopher Nolan wastes no time in getting things started. We hit the ground running and Dark Knight grabs a firm hold of our short hairs and never lets up its grip.

While this may be a Batman movie, the true stealer of the show is The Joker. The greatest supervillain of all time is played to perfection by the late-Heath Ledger. To compare him to Alex DeLarge from A Clockwork Orange or Hannibal Lecter would be a gross understatement of the character. To compare him to Jack Nicholson would also be a disservice. Jack Nicholson's Joker was fun and instantly quotable. Yet, he was always just Jack Nicholson in white make-up doing Jack Nicholson shtick. Heath disappears into the role and not just because of costuming or make-up. His mannerisms and inflections ARE those of the Joker. Believe me, I was calling Oscar buzz long before anybody else. As soon as I heard that first Joker line in the original teaser last year, I knew Heath was going to do something special. I hope he gets some recognition during awards season and not just in a morbid posthumous way. If Johnny Depp can get an Oscar nomination for his fey Keith Richards act, Heath can get one for his Clown Prince of Crime.

Kudos as well to the writing team for crafting one of the most unique antagonists in cinematic history. Comic fans will see the influence from Alan Moore's The Killing Joke and Grant Morrison's Arkham Asylum. We don't get a repeat of Batman Begins. This is not The Joker Begins. There is no protracted origin sequence. No flashbacks, no exposition, no explanation of 'Why?' in regards to the Joker. He just IS. The Joker is not someone we can ever hope to understand. He's no mere mobster in search of money and power. He's no megalomaniac bent on world conquest. This Joker is a simple man who only wants to call the world on all its bullshit. He may not meticulously organize his evil plans, but he does come up with some incredibly twisted and innovative schemes. It is so fascinating to watch a villain who is several steps ahead of the heroes and has them completely outmatched.

Weaved into the tapestry is the rise and fall of Harvey Dent, the golden boy savior of Gotham City. Anybody with some familiarity with the Bat-Universe knows Dent's ultimate fate. At first, he is everything Batman cannot be only to become everything that Batman shouldn't be. Whereas the Joker is Batman's complete opposite in terms of order vs. chaos. Dent becomes Batman's opposite in the other extreme, corrupting his ideals about justice and meting out punishment with the flip of a coin. Both suffer tremendous tragedy, but Batman is driven by his tragedy while Dent succumbs to it. Eckhart gives a fine performance and his shared scenes with the Joker are some of the best in the film.

The best thing that Nolan has brought to his reinvigorated Bat-Franchise is the A-list cast. Many of them have returned for the sequel. Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman are their usual dependable selves, bringing gravitas and a touch of humor to their scenes. Gary Oldman is that rare breed of actor that is a total chameleon. Like Heath, Oldman melts right into the role of Jim Gordon. Batman may be the title character and Joker may get all the attention, but Oldman’s Gordon is the heart of the film. Maggie Gyllenhaal is a definite upgrade from Katie Holmes. Of course, how can you ignore Christian Bale. He's the best Batman ever, even if his character doesn't get a chance to grow much in the sequel. Bale also does a great job with his foppish Bruce Wayne routine. The growling Bat-voice was overdone though, but that's the fault of post-production.

This being a blockbuster summer flick, I can't forget about the action sequences. The Hong Kong sequence is gorgeous and the finale is pure awesomeness. The car chase through the streets is another excellent set piece. The Bat-Pod is cool and used just right without ever coming off as a blatant excuse for a toy. My only beef would be some of the fight scenes as I'm not a fan of Nolan's quick cut editing. If a fight breaks out, I want to be able to see the fight and not just a series of close-ups of people's fists and feet.

Nolan and company have topped themselves creating that rare sequel that blows the original right out of the water. This is the best comic book adaptation ever and my pick for best film of 2008.

Rating: **** 1/2