Safe House

Safe House - Dir. Daniel Espinosa (2012)

During a pivotal sequence in Safe House, Denzel Washington's character is subjected to waterboarding. Washington himself did multiple takes where he was given the controversial torture method for several seconds. Some snide film critics will suggest watching Safe House is akin to receiving the Guantanamo Bay treatment. No, Safe House is merely guilty of unremarkable mediocrity.

Ryan Reynolds is Matt Weston, a young CIA agent tasked with minding a safe house in Cape Town, South Africa. His job as a glorified house sitter doesn't sit well with him. Weston urges his handler, David Barlow (Brendan Gleeson), for an assignment with a little more action. Well, be careful what you wish for. The agency has recently apprehended the notorious and awesomely named Tobin Frost (Washington), a rogue agent who has been on their wanted list for years. Minutes after arriving at Weston's safe house, armed assailants breach security and kill everyone in the place while Weston and Frost barely escape.

The screenplay by Davis Guggenheim strings together all the worst clichés of the post-Jason Bourne spy genre. There's a stale romance between Weston and his pretty French girlfriend Ana (Nora Arnezeder). Of course, Ana has no idea that her paramour is a CIA agent and their love is doomed because of his dangerous line of work. Not only is the story derivative, but so are the visuals. The action sequences are done shaky cam style. No surprising since the film was shot by Oliver Wood, the cinematographer for the first three Bourne films. Due to Denzel's involvement, the hyper kinetic feel, and the overly saturated color palette, you'd swear Safe House was directed by Tony Scott. But, no, the director is Swedish-born Daniel Espinosa doing his best Tony Scott impression.

The one redeeming element of Safe House is its ensemble of award winning actors. Vera Farmiga, Brendan Gleeson, and Sam Shepard all play high ranking CIA officials, filling in the roles that Joan Allen, Brian Cox, and Scott Glenn played in the Bourne series. Farmiga really is wasted, especially when you consider she is the closest the movie has to a strong female protagonist. The supporting cast includes character actors like Robert Patrick, Liam Cunningham, Ruben Blades, and Joel Kinnaman, who will be playing Alex Murphy in the upcoming Robocop remake. Each man is a welcome addition, but the focus is on the antagonistic relationship between Ryan Reynolds and Denzel Washington. It's clear the filmmakers were gunning for a Training Day dynamic with Reynolds as the naïve, fresh-faced rookie and Washington as the dangerous loose cannon. Unfortunately, their interactions are nothing more than a pale imitation of those by Washington and Ethan Hawke. Safe House doesn't even have the fun interplay that Washington and Chris Pine had in Unstoppable. Reynolds, who is naturally charismatic and funny, is rendered dull as dishwater with a thinly drawn character with traits we've seen a dozens of times. Meanwhile, Washington barely registers, despite possessing a commanding screen presence.

Safe House was hit theaters in February during the doldrums of the Hollywood studio release schedule. It came out right alongside other formulaic action films such as Contraband and Underworld: Awakening. Despite featuring great actors like Denzel Washington, Safe House suffers from a script that is utterly predictable and generic. Still, the film did well at the box office pulling in $202 million worldwide off a budget of $85 million. If you're a fan of Denzel and Ryan Reynolds and aren't looking for anything challenging, you could do worse than Safe House. Not exactly a glowering recommendation.

Rating: ** (*****)

War Horse

War Horse - Dir. Steven Spielberg (2011)

It's been three years since Steven Spielberg's last directorial effort in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. He returned with a vengeance at the end of 2011 with his two latest pictures hitting theaters within days of each other. They couldn't be any more different. The first was The Adventures of Tintin, a kinetic boys' adventure utilizing the latest in motion capture animation and released in 3D. The other, War Horse, is an old-fashioned epic shot in 35mm that references numerous Hollywood classics.

War Horse is based on a 1982 children's novel by Michael Morpurge, which was adapted into an award-winning stage play in 2007. Spielberg attended a show and was inspired to turn it into a movie with help from screenwriters Richard Curtis (Bridget Jones' Diary, Love Actually) and Lee Hall (Billy Elliot). Each permutation chronicles the events of World War I as seen through the eyes of a courageous horse.

The film opens in Dover, England with Albert Narracott (Jeremy Irvine) enraptured by a newly born colt. Albert lives in a farmhouse with his mother Rose (Emily Watson) and father Ted (Peter Mullan), a Boer War veteran trying to wash away his traumatic memories with alcohol. Ted rashly purchases the colt for triple his worth mainly to spite his overbearing landlord (David Thewlis), who rightly points out that the horse is too small to plow fields. It was born for show, not work. However, a determined Albert bonds with the newly named Joey and gets him to plow their rocky land. When a rainstorm washes away their crops, Ted has no choice but to sell Joey to the British army in order to pay their overdue rent.

Joey is put into the care of Captain Nicholls (Tom Hiddleston) and marches into battle alongside Maj. Stewart (Benedict Cumberbatch) and his black stallion Topthorn. After a failed charge against a German regiment, the horses are put into the care of two underage boys, Gunther (David Kross from The Reader) and Michael (Leonard Carow) serving in that same unit. From there, Joey and Topthorn wind up in the possession of an ailing French farm girl (Celine Buckens) and her doting grandfather (Niels Arestrup). Meanwhile, Albert enlists in the military as soon as he comes of age hoping to be reunited with his beloved friend.

War Horse represents Steven Spielberg at his best and his worst. It is an extremely well-crafted film gorgeously shot by Janusz Kaminski. The visuals are impeccable with numerous striking shots that capture the horrors of war and the beauty of the era. War Horse begins in an idyllic countryside that Spielberg has accentuated and romanticized in the way John Ford did with the countries of Wales in How Green Was My Valley and Ireland in The Quiet Man. The film culminates with a beautiful shot of silhouetted figures against a blazing orange sunset ala Gone with the Wind. Another shot features a battlefield strewn with the corpses of soldiers and horses which also recalls that same picture.

Spielberg can't help but go for the jugular when it comes to the film's most emotional moments. No heartstring is safe as Spielberg puts children and animals in peril in an attempt to wring every tear from every eye in the audience. If you didn't know how to feel about a certain scene, John Williams' overwhelming and hammy score will make sure to tell you. One of the best sequences in War Horse is an episode where Joey runs over and through the British trenches and gets tangled up by barbed wire in no man's land. One soldier from both sides declares a temporary truce to cut him loose. It's a touching moment, but Spielberg can't end the scene without the German calling Joey a "remarkable horse." This is a point Spielberg feels needs to be hammered home every fifteen minutes.

The acting is solid with Spielberg putting together an excellent cast of English and European thespians. Jeremy Irvine doesn't make much of an impression as Albert and he tends to overplay it during the more emotional moments. Tom Hiddleston and Benedict Cumberbatch turn in solid performances as the stiff upper lip British officers. The best performance in the film belongs to Peter Mullen as Albert's defeated father. Mullen probably isn't familiar to most American audiences, but he's appeared in darker, powerhouse roles in The Red Riding Trilogy and Paddy Considine's directorial debut Tyrannosaur.

War Horse attempts to be a treatise on the brutality of war as well as an uplifting family friendly drama and Spielberg has a difficult time blending the two. The episodic nature means the tone changes from All Quiet on the Western Front to National Velvet without notice. Maybe I'm cynical, but Spielberg's saccharine sentimentality didn't play well with me.

Rating: ** ½ (*****)

Harry Brown

Harry Brown - Dir. Daniel Barber (2009)


Now, this is the kind of role I want to see Michael Caine play. Following in the footsteps of Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino, Caine takes up the mantle of the septuagenarian avenger in Harry Brown. This isn’t Caine’s first foray into the revenge film. He famously starred in one of the best revenge movies (and one of my favorite films of all time) in Get Carter.

As Jack Carter, Caine played a suave, yet vicious, gangster searching for his brother’s killer in the seedy underbelly of Newcastle. In Harry Brown, Caine is a former Royal Marine collecting his pension and living in the council estates (the British equivalent of the projects) in South London. It is a very ugly and dehumanizing world that Harry Brown lives in. At least Newcastle had a working class charm to it, the estates of Harry Brown have an ultra-modern brutalism to it. The building he lives in looks almost like a filing cabinet where society’s castoffs are stuffed in and quickly forgotten. The film was shot on location in the Heygate Estate which bares similar architecture to the infamous car park from Get Carter. Just like the car park, the Estate has been torn down to make way for gentrified reconstruction.

Harry Brown opens in a shocking manner with an amateur video recording of two drugged out youths joy riding on their bikes and shooting off a gun. They terrorize a mother pushing a stroller and unintentionally kill her before being struck down by a truck while fleeing the scene. The area is rife with crime and drugs thanks to the local youth gangs.

Brown lives alone in his apartment while his wife lays comatose in the hospital. He is late for her dying moments after taking the long way because the local hoods gather around a more convenient underpass. The last straw comes when Harry’s best friend and drinking buddy, Leonard (David Bradley) is murdered. The investigating detective (Emily Mortimer) has her suspects, but not enough evidence to arrest them. So Harry dusts off his old service pistol, goes for a walk in the middle of a night, and winds up killing a mugger in self-defense. With a new purpose, Harry is dead set on hunting down Leonard’s killers.

In one of the film’s most unsettling scenes, Harry attempts to purchase guns from a drug dealer frighteningly realized by Sean Harris (who played Ian Curtis in 24 Hour Party People). Harry strikes an uneasy deal as homemade pornography plays on the TV and an OD’d girl lays sprawled out on the sofa.

Even though he’s close to 80 years of age, Michael Caine can still make you believe he can kick your ass. And he probably could. He is easily capable of switching from hardassed to heartfelt. Director Daniel Barber (in his feature-length debut) and writer Gary Young (who also penned the DTV actioner The Tournament) have created a very nasty world for Harry Brown.

However, the film has very little to add to the genre. Harry Brown doesn’t have the deeper meaning of Gran Torino. It doesn’t transcend the trappings of its ‘Kill ‘em all and let God sort it out’ philosophy. More sensitive types may bemoan the way the film reinforces the fascistic overtones common with vigilante pictures.

Rating: ** ½

The Tournament

The Tournament - Dir. Scott Mann (2009)


What makes a good action movie? For me, one of the best action films ever is Die Hard You’ve got a charismatic everyman hero in Bruce Willis as John McClane, a ruthless and calculating villain, a team of dangerous henchmen, high stakes, and great dialogue. Most importantly, Die Hard adds in a level of emotional depth that most action movies lack. McClane not only has to save his wife’s life, but their marriage as well. Plus, you’ve got his budding friendship with a fellow cop still struggling with the effects of a tragic shooting. Oh, and stuff gets blown up, blown up real good. For some, that’s good enough.

To be honest, I’m more than happy to check my brain at the door and enjoy a good, dumb action movie. Just give me bullets, blood, and stuff going boom. I liked Shoot ‘Em Up and the Crank films are probably my favorite guilty pleasures. But, sometimes, an action movie can be too dumb for its own good. That, ladies and gentlemen, brings us to our feature presentation, The Tournament.

Filming on The Tournament originally began in 2007 in the country of Bulgaria, which has become the go-to for direct-to-TV Sci-Fi Channel crap and anybody else with no more than 2 bucks in their pocket. Unfortunately, the production suffered the worst nightmare any low-budget filmmaker could possibly have, it ran out of money. It took so long for them to regain financing that the filmmakers had to re-cast and start from scratch. You kind of want to give director Scott Mann some credit for sticking to his guns (no pun intended). However, after watching the finished product, you also kind of wonder if it was really worth it.

The central concept of The Tournament revolves around a free-for-all death match held every seven years. The contestants are thirty of the world’s top assassins and they compete for a truckload of money. The tournament’s benefactor is a puppet master by the subtle name of Powers (Liam Cunningham). Powers selects a small town for the battlegrounds and has his tech crew hack into the cameras so a clandestine audience of the wealthy and powerful can watch while placing their bets. Cover stories about terror attacks or gas main explosions are prepared to keep the secret of the tournament.

This time around, thirty highly trained assassins converge on the town of Middlesbrough, Great Britain. Among the competitors is Lai Lai Zhen (Kelly Hu), who is haunted by her last job and wants the cash as a way out. She also speaks with some weird accent. I honestly have no clue what Kelly Hu was going for, but at least she still looks hot. I guess that’s what really matters.

The odds on favorite this year is Joshua Harlow (Ving Rhames), the winner of the last tournament. His wife was recently murdered and he re-enters the contest to search for her killer. Harlow is a real badass. How do I know he’s badass? Because he wears a black trenchcoat and walks in slow motion. Sebastian Foucan, who many might remember as the bomb maker from Casino Royale plays Anton Bogart, a master of Parkour. Ian Somerhalder, formerly of Lost, plays Miles Slade, a psychopathic Texan. No one is safe from Slade not even stray dogs or topless dancers. Filling out the roster are an assortment of murderers who utilize everything from martial arts to sniper rifles and even bazookas.

The holders of the tournament keep track of their quarries by implanting them with a sensor that works on body heat. The assassins are all given tracking devices to let them know when an opponent is nearby. A wrench is thrown into the works when Bogart removes his implant and drops it into a pot of coffee. It’s promptly swallowed by the alcoholic Father MacAvoy (Robert Carlyle), a priest who has lost his faith in God. Poor MacAvoy is forced to compete in the tournament and handed down an edict, not from the Holy Father, but from Powers who says, "Kill or be killed." To put a cherry on top of all that, the sensors are armed with an explosive. If no one wins the tournament within 24 hours, then all remaining sensors will detonate.

What happens next is basically a rip-off of The Condemned, which itself was just a rip-off of Battle Royale and The Running Man. The hitmen try to take one another out, innocent bystanders die in the crossfire, and all for the entertainment of the rich and powerful. Some of the action sequences are decent including the Parkour stuff with Foucan.

However, what I cannot overlook is the sheer number of plot holes that any screenwriter with two brain cells could have closed up with ease. The sensors that work on body heat inexplicably switch off whenever someone is killed, despite the fact that the body stays warm for a while after death. If it’s so easy to cut out your tracker, why doesn’t everybody else do it? Also, it seems the trackers only work when it’s convenient for the director.

The Tournament is filled with all sorts of silliness. The story doesn’t make a lick of sense if you think about it for more than a few seconds. The characters have absolutely no emotional depth or any other traits that might distinguish them from every other generic action movie stereotype. Compared to other direct-to-video films, The Tournament still ranks above whatever Steven Seagal tries to peddle these days, but leaves much to be desired.

Rating: *

Blood: The Last Vampire

Blood: The Last Vampire - Dir. Chris Nahon (2009)


Everybody loves vampires and zombies nowadays. They used to be nightmarish creatures that have become almost cute and cuddly. As cool as zombies are, vampires have always had a mystique about them that has made the bloodsuckers sex symbols. The baffling phenomenon known as Twilight can certainly attest to that. Two of the most popular television dramas currently airing are the vampire-centric True Blood and The Vampire Diaries. Let the Right One In was one of the best films of 2008 and one of the best vampire films ever. Vampires aren’t just objects of lust and mystery, but they can be serious ass kickers too as evidenced with Blood: The Last Vampire.

The original Blood: The Last Vampire was an anime film made in 2000 by Production I.G., the animation studio behind Ghost in the Shell. That version of Blood was decent enough if somewhat empty at a scant forty-eight minutes. This live-action version may be twice as long, but it’s also twice as empty.

Gianna Jun (aka Jun Ji-hyun) won over international audiences as the title character of the South Korean comedy, My Sassy Girl. Here, she plays Saya, a 400-year old half-human, half-vampire hybrid. Through a series of flashbacks, we learn that Saya’s father was a renowned samurai who hunted demons until he was murdered by the vampire queen, Onigen (Koyuki). She was raised by one of her father’s retainers, Kato (Yasuaki Kurata), until he too was murdered by Onigen’s forces. Since then, Saya has spent centuries cutting through the vampire species until she can find Onigen.

Now, it is the 1970’s and the Vietnam War rages on. Saya is currently working with a secret organization known as the Council. Hot on Onigen’s trail, the Council sends Saya onto an American military base in Tokyo under the guise of a transfer student. Saya battles several vampires who have disguised themselves as soldiers, students, and faculty. Meanwhile, Alice McKee (Allison Miller), the daughter of the base’s commanding officer, stumbles onto the clandestine war between the Council and the vampires, becoming a target for both sides. Alice’s character is rather superfluous to the paper thin story. She’s ostensibly the outsider who triggers the other characters to espouse large chunks of exposition. I also get the feeling Alice was only there to be a pretty white face so the production doesn’t become too Asian.

The live-action Blood is an international production all the way. The star is South Korean and the cast is primarily American with a little Japanese, British and Irish mixed in. The film’s director is Chris Nahon, the Frenchman who also directed the Jet Li actioner Kiss of the Dragon Though it’s based on an anime feature and set in Japan, the film was shot in Argentina and Hong Kong. The Hong Kong influence continues as the producer for the film was Ronny Yu (Bride with White Hair), the screenwriter was Chris Chow (Jet Li’s Fearless), and the fight choreography was done by Corey Yuen (Fong Sai Yuk, The Transporter). The Hong Kong hand is definitely felt in the action sequences with elaborate acrobatics on display.

As decent as the fight scenes could have been, they are ruined by some of the most absolutely awful special effects I’ve ever seen. Two vampires transform into CGI gargoyles look about as real as your average porn star’s breast implants. Copious amounts of computer generated blood are spilled at the edge of Saya’s sword and not a single drop looks authentic. Blockbusters like Wolverine and G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra have no excuse for bad visual effects, but Blood (with a budget of $30 million) has something of an excuse due to less resources. Yet, I cannot fathom the reasons behind this over reliance on CGI when practical effects would have worked so much better. A sequence where the characters run across rooftops look laughably fake, especially in comparison to one from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon which used plain old wire work.

In the end, the film suffers from bad acting, terrible dialogue, and dreadful FX. Gianna Jun, who was wonderful in My Sassy Girl gives a stilted performance due to her poor command of the English language. If all you’re looking for is the simple experience of watching a cute female in a schoolgirl uniform hack evildoers to pieces with a sword, then Blood: The Last Vampire might satisfy your shallow appetites.

Rating: *

Centurion

Centurion - Dir. Neil Marshall (2010)


Neil Marshall is a genre director through and through. Marshall’s feature film debut was Dog Soldiers, which can best be described as Deliverance meets Platoon with werewolves. His next film was the claustrophobic spelunking horror flick, The Descent. But, Doomsday was probably Marshall’s most geektastic work, a post-apocalyptic action movie that paid homage to Mad Max, Escape From New York, and Excalibur. Marshall brings a trash cinema flavor to his version of the swords and sandals film.

Centurion is one of two recent projects inspired by the disappearance of the Ninth Legion of the Roman Army, beating Kevin Macdonald’s Eagle of the Ninth to the theaters. It is 117 AD and the Roman Empire has been mired for years in their attempts to conquer Britannia. The polished and disciplined Roman soldiers are no match for their supposedly backwater natives, the Picts. They have stymied every effort by the invading Roman forces with their knowledge of the rugged terrain and use of ruthless guerilla tactics.

Enter one Quintus Dias (Michael Fassbender), a brave Roman soldier and son of a gladiator. He is the sole survivor of a Pict assault on his outpost in what is now Scotland. Quintus manages to escape and comes across the Ninth Legion under the command of the awesomely named General Titus Virilus (Dominic West). The General has been tasked by an opportunistic senator to kill the Pict King Gorlacon (Ulrich Thomsen) and wipe out all opposing forces once and for all. However, the Legion is slaughtered and Gen. Virilus captured with only Quintus and a handful of comrades surviving the ambush.

After failing to rescue their commanding officer, Quintus and his ragtag band of legionnaires must brave harsh terrains and equally harsh weather in order to return home. They are dogged at every turn by a hunting party led by the animalistic Etain (Olga Kurylenko), an expert tracker and warrior goddess. Etain was raped as a child by Romans who also cut out her tongue and killed her whole family. She’s pretty pissed off about all that.

The Roman fugitives receive a brief respite when they come across the home of a beautiful village girl (Imogen Poots) who was banished by the Picts for witchcraft.

Centurion is hardly a nuanced picture with rich characters. Fassbender who was so excellent in Hunger and Inglourious Basterds isn’t called upon to do much than be the square jawed hero. Liam Cunningham essentially reprises his role from Clash of the Titans as the crotchety veteran. I couldn’t tell the rest of the fellows apart without double checking IMDB. One soldier is a cook from the Middle East, another is an African marathon runner. Unique traits not seen in similar films, yet they are hardly expanded upon.

Marshall draws obvious allusions to Vietnam and the conflicts in the Middle East, but any political pretenses are buried under a mountain of severed limbs and mutilated corpses. Body parts fly in every direction and skulls are crushed in an explosion of blood. It’s a pure testosterone driven film. Olga Kurylenko is sexy and fierce though too slight and petite to be a believable huntress. But, Marshall isn’t going for true historical accuracy.

Marshall dispenses with pseudo-Shakespearean dialogue and doesn’t feel the need to stretch out the runtime. It’s a welcome change of pace to bloated films like Ridley Scott’s Robin Hood. Centurion is a quick and dirty version of the historical epic for action junkies.

Rating: **

Clash of the Titans

Clash of the Titans - Dir. Louis Leterrier (2010)


”Release the Kraken!”

The original 1981 Clash of the Titans played fast and loose with Greek mythology and is more renowned for being the swan song for effects guru Ray Harryhausen. The master of stop motion effects, Harryhausen went on to inspire a generation of top filmmakers including Tim Burton, James Cameron, and Sam Raimi. But, his brand of special effects was put out to pasture by the rise of the modern day summer blockbuster heralded by Steven Spielberg and George Lucas.

With CGI and digital 3D in full effect, it was only a matter of time before Clash was remade and updated with today’s technology. Sam Worthington is Perseus, the son of a human mother and Zeus (Liam Neeson), the king of the gods. At the beginning of his journey, Perseus knows nothing of his parental lineage. He is abandoned at sea and found by a kindly fisherman (Pete Postlethwaite). Perseus’s life is forever changed when Hades (Ralph Fiennes), god of the underworld, kills his adopted family.

Perseus is taken to the city of Argos where its rules have incurred the wrath of the gods with their insults. Hades issues an ultimatum for Argos to sacrifice its princess, Andromeda (Alexa Davalos), or he will release the monstrous Kraken (”Release the Kraken!”) and destroy the city and all its inhabitants. Perseus is sent on a mission to find a way to stop the Kraken and is accompanied by Draco (Mads Mikkelsen), leader of the royal guard, and the beautiful demi-goddess Io (Gemma Arterton). From them, Perseus learns how to fight and be a hero. Being half god, he learns in no time and without the assistance of a montage set to 80’s power rock.

This version of Clash is definitely not your father’s Clash of the Titans. Fans of the original are made well aware of that fact when one of its stars, Bubo the mechanical owl, makes a quick cameo only to be tossed aside like a bit of refuse. Pegasus, the gleaming white and winged steed, is now a badass black stallion who scares away the other horses.

As the film’s hero, Worthington is slightly generic, but nowhere near as bland as the well-tanned Harry Hamlin. While the original featured Sir Laurence Olivier, Maggie Smith, and Bond girl Ursula Andress among its pantheon. In the remake, the denizens of Mount Olympus are headed up by Liam Neeson who equates himself well to the overly bombastic dialogue that always seems to pop up in these period pieces. As Zeus’s brother, Fiennes is all dark and raspy voiced, not too far off from Lord Voldemort. Danny Huston’s Poseidon only gets a couple of lines while the rest of the gods are mostly reduced to just standing around in glowing armor.

Despite some shortcomings, Clash is a rousing popcorn movie. The majority of the action is fun even if director Louis Leterrier has trouble with letting the camera stand still. The film’s best sequence is a battle against a group of giant scorpions keeping in spirit with Harryhausen’s work. An exceedingly phony looking CG Medusa knocks things down a notch. There are also some odd characters new to the remake in the Djinn, desert dwellers who look like leprous versions of the Tusken Raiders from Star Wars.

If you get the chance to see Clash of the Titans in theaters, save your money and skip the 3D version. The picture was shot in 2D and quickly converted afterwards to cash in on the 3D craze. Much of the film is flat with scenes barely registering as 3D. Secondly, this is a very dark movie and the 3D glasses darken the movie even further. Finally, Leterrier’s frenetic shooting style does not lend itself to the 3D process. The constant camera movements during the action scenes negate it.

Rating: ***