Resident Evil: Retribution

Resident Evil: Retribution - Dir. Paul W.S. Anderson (2012)

Trying to make sense of the convoluted mythos of the Resident Evil film franchise is a more daunting task than attempting to complete the games on the highest difficulty level. Even the architects of the series, writer/director Paul W.S. Anderson and his wife/starlet Milla Jovovich, can’t tell what the hell is happening. That hasn’t stopped them from soldiering on with a fifth film, Resident Evil: Retribution.

Proof that Anderson has sacrificed substance at the altar of style is found in the opening credits, which play out in reverse, slow-motion 3D. Picking up where Resident Evil: Afterlife left off, Alice (Jovovich) and the survivors on board a cargo freighter are attacked by forces of the Umbrella Corporation led by a brainwashed Jill Valentine (Sienna Guillory). From there, Jovovich gives the audience a recap of the series so far. Next is a prologue out of Zack Snyder’s Dawn of the Dead remake with Alice as a suburban housewife married to Carlos Olivera (Oded Fehr) with a deaf daughter named Becky (Aryana Engineer). As the zombies slaughter everyone, Alice awakens naked (save for a convenient towel) in a holding cell where she's tortured by Valentine. Suddenly, Alice is freed by Ada Wong (Li Bingbing) and former archenemy Albert Wesker (Shawn Roberts), who has been usurped from his position as Umbrella boss by the malevolent A.I. from the first movie, The Red Queen (Megan Charpentier).

Alice learns she is trapped inside a massive research facility beneath the Arctic where Umbrella has recreated major cities around the world to test their biological weapons on unsuspecting clones, including good and evil versions of past characters like Rain Ocampa (Michelle Rodriguez) and James Shade (Colin Salmon). Meanwhile, an assault team consisting of Leon Kennedy (Johann Urb), Barry Burton (Kevin Durand), and Luther West (Boris Kodjoe) is dispatched to rescue Alice and Ada.

Retribution scores a minor victory in the fact that it comes closest to replicating the video game experience more than any other game adaptation. The protagonists collect items and weapons in order to advance from one level to the next with helpful map graphics to orient the viewer. It's about as thrilling as watching someone play video games while hogging the controller. The barebones plot shamelessly rips off Aliens with Becky fulfilling the role of Newt to Alice's Ripley in a vain effort to inject some heart into this hollow action flick. The connections between each installment are tenuous with Anderson hitting the reset button whenever he feels the need. Alice has superpowers then she doesn't. Not that it matters either way since she has no problems defeating hordes of the undead with gravity defying flips, all while dressed in a tightly buckled leather outfit. It still provides more protection than Ada Wong's combat attire of a slinky evening gown and strappy high heels.

At least, Anderson keeps the pace brisk and action packed so as not to call attention to the thin plot or the clipped dialogue recited in increasingly wooden fashion by the cast.

Resident Evil: Retribution is more visually impressive than its predecessors, but no less dull or derivative. Only the most hardcore fans of the series will be entertained, especially by an open ending that threatens us with additional mind-numbing sequels.

Rating: * (*****)

Blood: The Last Vampire

Blood: The Last Vampire - Dir. Chris Nahon (2009)


Everybody loves vampires and zombies nowadays. They used to be nightmarish creatures that have become almost cute and cuddly. As cool as zombies are, vampires have always had a mystique about them that has made the bloodsuckers sex symbols. The baffling phenomenon known as Twilight can certainly attest to that. Two of the most popular television dramas currently airing are the vampire-centric True Blood and The Vampire Diaries. Let the Right One In was one of the best films of 2008 and one of the best vampire films ever. Vampires aren’t just objects of lust and mystery, but they can be serious ass kickers too as evidenced with Blood: The Last Vampire.

The original Blood: The Last Vampire was an anime film made in 2000 by Production I.G., the animation studio behind Ghost in the Shell. That version of Blood was decent enough if somewhat empty at a scant forty-eight minutes. This live-action version may be twice as long, but it’s also twice as empty.

Gianna Jun (aka Jun Ji-hyun) won over international audiences as the title character of the South Korean comedy, My Sassy Girl. Here, she plays Saya, a 400-year old half-human, half-vampire hybrid. Through a series of flashbacks, we learn that Saya’s father was a renowned samurai who hunted demons until he was murdered by the vampire queen, Onigen (Koyuki). She was raised by one of her father’s retainers, Kato (Yasuaki Kurata), until he too was murdered by Onigen’s forces. Since then, Saya has spent centuries cutting through the vampire species until she can find Onigen.

Now, it is the 1970’s and the Vietnam War rages on. Saya is currently working with a secret organization known as the Council. Hot on Onigen’s trail, the Council sends Saya onto an American military base in Tokyo under the guise of a transfer student. Saya battles several vampires who have disguised themselves as soldiers, students, and faculty. Meanwhile, Alice McKee (Allison Miller), the daughter of the base’s commanding officer, stumbles onto the clandestine war between the Council and the vampires, becoming a target for both sides. Alice’s character is rather superfluous to the paper thin story. She’s ostensibly the outsider who triggers the other characters to espouse large chunks of exposition. I also get the feeling Alice was only there to be a pretty white face so the production doesn’t become too Asian.

The live-action Blood is an international production all the way. The star is South Korean and the cast is primarily American with a little Japanese, British and Irish mixed in. The film’s director is Chris Nahon, the Frenchman who also directed the Jet Li actioner Kiss of the Dragon Though it’s based on an anime feature and set in Japan, the film was shot in Argentina and Hong Kong. The Hong Kong influence continues as the producer for the film was Ronny Yu (Bride with White Hair), the screenwriter was Chris Chow (Jet Li’s Fearless), and the fight choreography was done by Corey Yuen (Fong Sai Yuk, The Transporter). The Hong Kong hand is definitely felt in the action sequences with elaborate acrobatics on display.

As decent as the fight scenes could have been, they are ruined by some of the most absolutely awful special effects I’ve ever seen. Two vampires transform into CGI gargoyles look about as real as your average porn star’s breast implants. Copious amounts of computer generated blood are spilled at the edge of Saya’s sword and not a single drop looks authentic. Blockbusters like Wolverine and G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra have no excuse for bad visual effects, but Blood (with a budget of $30 million) has something of an excuse due to less resources. Yet, I cannot fathom the reasons behind this over reliance on CGI when practical effects would have worked so much better. A sequence where the characters run across rooftops look laughably fake, especially in comparison to one from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon which used plain old wire work.

In the end, the film suffers from bad acting, terrible dialogue, and dreadful FX. Gianna Jun, who was wonderful in My Sassy Girl gives a stilted performance due to her poor command of the English language. If all you’re looking for is the simple experience of watching a cute female in a schoolgirl uniform hack evildoers to pieces with a sword, then Blood: The Last Vampire might satisfy your shallow appetites.

Rating: *

Punisher: War Zone

Punisher: War Zone - Dir. Lexi Alexander (2008)

”Somebody has to punish the corrupt.”

Or maybe somebody should punish the folks who can’t seem to put together a good Punisher movie. Out of all the comic book characters there are, the Punisher should be one of the easiest to pull off. No superpowers, no goofy outfit, no crazy comic book science to explain, and no need for $200 million in special effects. Just one mean badass with a shitload of guns. War Zone follows in the tepid footsteps of the no-budget Dolph Lundgren version and the so-so Thomas Jane vehicle. Was the third time the charm? It’s leaps and bounds ahead of the previous versions, but pales in comparison to The Dark Knight and Iron Man in terms of 2008’s comic book adaptations. It has more in common with testosterone-fueled action flicks like Commando or Rambo.

War Zone takes the Punisher back to his roots, plopping him down into the seedy streets of New York City (though it was actually shot in Montreal). Dark, cold tones with neon highlights, a far cry from the sunny beaches of Tampa. His origin remains much closer to the source material and is briefly seen in flashbacks so we can get right into the action. This iteration of Frank Castle is the brooding, taciturn killing machine he needed to be. The man doesn’t even speak his first lines until about half an hour into the movie. Who has time for action hero one-liners when you’re hanging upside-down from a crystal chandelier pumping several hundred rounds of ammo into the bodies of hapless goombas? This is a Punisher who doesn’t bother with Machiavellian schemes involving fire hydrants. Not when he can punch his fist through someone’s face or stab a man through the eye with a chair leg. The violence is like an Itchy & Scratchy episode. The film also features the best use of a rocket launcher in cinematic history. This is a Punisher who really does some serious punishing.

Ray Stevenson fits the role of Frank Castle perfectly. He’s big, mean, and looks like he’s seen some serious shit. Stevenson is the Bradstreet Punisher come to life. Even Wayne Knight (“Newman…”) has some good scenes with Stevenson as the Punisher’s tech-guy, Micro. The rest of the cast doesn’t fare so well on the other hand. Dominic West (McNulty!) goes over over-the-top as Frank’s facially mangled arch-enemy, Jigsaw. West switches from narcissistic mob boss to cartoon character in a heartbeat, a combination of Jack Nicholson’s Joker with a Dick Tracy villain. The same goes for Doug Hutchison as Jigsaw’s cannibalistic brother, Loony Bin Jim, an original creation of screenwriter Nick Santora. Julie Benz (who I usually adore) plays the same damsel in distress role as she did in Rambo, but now with a poor New York accent. In fact, nearly everybody in the film has a bad stereotypical accent, be it Italian, New York, Russian, or Irish.

The film also spreads itself too thin by throwing in far too many characters. The filmmakers mined Garth Ennis’s seminal run on the Punisher MAX series to fill out the supporting cast. There’s sad sack NYPD detective Martin Soap, Paul Budiansky (another NYPD detective in the comics, now an FBI agent), black Irishman Maginty, and Russian gangsters the Bulats. Despite this being his film, the Punisher becomes marginalized too often in favor of characters that are essentially cannon fodder. As a fan of the MAX series, I felt a lot of great villains were wasted. Nicky Cavella is turned into an undercover FBI agent, his psychotic henchmen Ink & Pittsy are now comic relief toadies, and the Bulats (from one of the best Punisher stories ever) are barely a blip on the radar.

In their zeal to create a sympathetic lead, the filmmakers tend to humanize Frank a little too much. Despondent over accidentally killing an undercover officer, he contemplates giving up his alter-ego. After all, we've never seen that in a comic book movie.

In his review, Roger Ebert called War Zone “one of the best-made bad movies.” That hits the nail on the head. Punisher: War Zone is a film for those who are looking for an hour and a half of mindless violence. It’s a throwback to the 80’s style action film. Taken at that level, it works. Lexi Alexander, a German-born kickboxing champion, joins a tiny club of female action directors whose only other member I can think of is Kathryn Bigelow. Alexander handles the gun battles and fight scenes well without relying on the Bourne-style of quick edits and tight close-ups. A guilty pleasure all the way.

Rating: ***