Transformers: Age of Extinction

Transformers: Age of Extinction - Dir. Michael Bay (2014)

"A new era has begun. The age of the Transformers is over…"

Oh, where to even begin with this movie. We might as well start with the plot, such as it is. Transformers: Dark of the Moon concluded with the heroic Autobots repelling a Decepticon invasion that left Chicago devastated and 1200 humans dead. Age of Extinction picks up five years later as the American government has cut all ties with the Autobots. CIA agent Harold Attinger (Kelsey Grammer) heads up an off-the-books operation that involves hunting down all Transformers, regardless of whether they are Autobots or Decepticons. The robots are harvested for parts and shipped to Joshua Joyce (Stanley Tucci), the brilliant head of a technological conglomerate. Joyce has discovered an unstable metal dubbed "Transformium," which he and Attinger plan to use to create their own army of Transformers. In order to gather more of the metal, Attinger has struck an alliance with the bounty hunter Lockdown (Mark Ryan). In exchange for capturing Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen), Lockdown will give Attinger the Seed, a terraforming device that would create Transformium.

In Texas, Cade Yeager (Mark Wahlberg) is a down-on-his-luck inventor who is struggling to pay the mortgage on his farm and send his daughter, Tessa (Nicola Peltz), to college. He purchases a rundown semi-truck hoping to find something salvageable. The exasperated Tessa can only remark that he's just turning junk into other junk, which could be a perfect metaphor for this entire franchise. The truck turns out to be Optimus Prime and his presence alerts a CIA strike team led by the remorseless Savoy (Titus Welliver). Now classified as fugitives, Optimus and the few remaining Autobots must protect their new human allies.

The human protagonists from the previous movies are gone and forgotten with nary a fleeting reference. Not that the new characters are an improvement, they are all just as bland and uninteresting. Sure, Mark Wahlberg is a better protagonist than Shia LaBeouf, but his being an inventor bears no little impact on the plot. He never invents anything to defeat the Decepticons, he just grabs an alien gun and shoots stuff. On the other hand, producers are wise enough to fill the supporting cast with actors like Stanley Tucci, Kelsey Grammer, and Titus Welliver to lend some legitimacy to the ridiculousness. Grammer and Welliver play standard issue cardboard villains, but Tucci has fun hamming it up as an evil Steve Jobs. If you didn't get that reference, there's a black and white portrait of Tucci in a turtleneck sweater hanging prominently in the background.

As Michael Bay's latest ingénue, Nicola Peltz isn't given any opportunity to differentiate herself from Megan Fox or Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. Peltz is dressed in cutoff shorts just like Fox and even uses a tow truck to assist the Autobots during the climax. There are plenty of shots from between her legs as the camera leers at her thighs and buttocks. The way Michael Bay fetishizes Peltz feels dirty when you consider that her character is 17, despite the actress being 19 in real life. However, that's nothing compared to the sequence in which Bay justifies statutory rape. Tessa's boyfriend, Shane (Jack Reynor), a 20-year old Irish race car driver, pulls out a copy of a "Romeo & Juliet" law allowing the two of them to be together since they dated before he turned 18. Yes, one of the heroes in Age of Extinction, is a creep who carries around a photocopy of a law that allows him to have sex with an underage girl. In a film about giant robots from outer space, why is this subject even being broached?

Congratulations to Michael Bay for hitting all new lows though the usual trademarks of a Bay production are present here. We have the rampant misogyny represented by the fact that nearly every female character in the movie is thin and impossibly gorgeous. The only exception is the sassy, overweight black woman who serves as comic relief. Aside from Peltz, the only other actresses who receive any significant screen time are Sophia Myles as a geologist and Li Bingbing as an executive in Joyce's employ. They are just as one-note as everybody else in the whole series and both women appear and disappear whenever it's convenient for the plot. Li Bingbing's inclusion and an entire third act set in Hong Kong is a blatant attempt to pander to Chinese audiences, who have become increasingly vital to the wallets of studio executives. The product placement throughout Age of Extinction is equally forced with actors shoving Bud Lights and Beats speakers into your face in full IMAX 3D. One would think Bay was doing this with a hint of irony, but it's hard to tell anymore. Next, we have racist caricatures in the form of Drift (Ken Watanabe), an Autobot modeled after a samurai who speaks in Haikus composed of broken English.

Just as he couldn't be bothered to come up with unique personalities for the humans, screenwriter Ehren Kruger couldn't be bothered to do anymore with the Autobots. Hound (John Goodman) fulfills the exact same role as Ironhide that of the grizzled war veteran while Bumblebee gets surprisingly little screen time given his popularity. Lockdown is the most interesting villain in the series, a Transformer who owes no allegiance to either the Autobots or Decepticons. He works for the mysterious Creators (the Quintessons?) who originally built the Transformers as slave labor. Also, long-time fans might be pleased to hear Frank Welker return to voice Megatron who has now been upgraded to Galvatron ala Transformers: The Movie. The designs of the Transformers have also been improved so that the viewer can actually differentiate one robot from the other. The biggest additions to the robotic roster are the fan-favorite Dinobots. Prepare for Devastator-sized disappointment, folks, you will have to wait over two hours into the movie before the Dinobots appear, despite them serving as lynchpins of the marketing campaign.

If you're wondering how Kruger spent his time during the script writing process, it certainly wasn't crafting scintillating dialogue. Nobody was expecting David Mamet in a Transformers picture, but you'd think Kruger would at least put a modicum of effort beyond, "Take that bitch" or "Do you have a warrant?" "My face is my warrant." And it's always thrilling to hear Optimus Prime, the noble warrior that he is, running around rooftops screaming, "I'll kill you."

SPOILERS: At the end of the movie, Optimus shoots off into outer space with the aid of rocket boosters in his feet, which begs the question why didn't he use them before, instead of turning into a truck to slowly save the day? Also, he threatens to kill the Dinobots unless they join forces with him. Then, Optimus lets them loose on the Chinese countryside because it's always a great idea to have mechanical dinosaurs running around completely unfettered.

Story has never been Michael Bay's strong suit. It's traditionally been incidental to the visuals. The last three films suffered from action sequences that descended into incoherent visual noise, but Bay's camerawork seems to grown more patient in Age of Extinction. This allows Bay to make good use of 3D imagery, particularly during a set piece wherein the Cade and Tessa dangle precariously from grabbling cables high above Chicago, a city which shows no evidence of serving as ground zero for an alien invasion a few short years ago. Bay takes a page out of Terrence Malick's playbook by shooting the farm scenes at golden hour with actors silhouetted against the backdrop of a beautiful orange sky. The beauty is almost undone when you realize Bay's idea of small town Texas is a Bostonian, a surfer dude, an Irishman, and a girl who struts around the rural countryside in high heeled boots.

Transformers: Age of Extinction runs two hours and forty-five minutes, a punishing length filled with inane dialogue, illogical plot developments, and relentless stupidity. Revenge of the Fallen still stands as the worst of the bunch, but it has the excuse of being rushed into production during the writer's strike. Age of Extinction has no excuse. However, none of that will mean a damn thing because audiences still eat these movies up with a spoon. The fourth Transformers film scored over $300 million worldwide during opening weekend. If you enjoy Transformers, then more power to you. Personally, I find it sad that this is a resounding success while Edge of Tomorrow, a far better written blockbuster with one of the strongest female characters in recent memory, was a box office flop.

Rating: ** (*****)

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World - Dir. Lorene Scafaria (2012)

An apocalyptic love story is unique, but not an entirely new concept. There was 1988's Miracle Mile with Anthony Edwards and Mare Winningham searching for one another in a chaotic Los Angeles under the threat of impending nuclear war. You could also count Don McKellar's Last Night, about intersecting lives in Toronto on their very last night on Earth. Written and directed by Lorene Scafaria (Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist), Seeking a Friend for the End of the World is a bit more bright and hopeful or as bright and hopeful as a movie can be when it's about Armageddon. Let's just say it's on the opposite spectrum of Lars von Trier's Melancholia.

Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck won't be saving anyone. The film opens with the dour announcement that a cataclysmic asteroid is about to collide with Earth and a last-ditch effort by NASA to divert it has failed. Insurance salesman Dodge Petersen (Steve Carell) gets another shock when his wife, Linda (played by Carell's real-life spouse Nancy) suddenly exits the car and runs off into the night without a word. Dodge stumbles into a numb daze while his friends throw wild parties. Eventually, he forms a friendship with Penny (Keira Knightley), the free-spirited girl next door. It turns out that Penny has been holding on to some of Dodge's mail for months, including a letter from an old flame.

As riots break out across the city, Penny agrees to help Dodge find his former high school sweetheart in exchange for getting her to England to be with her family. Accompanied by a scruffy little dog named Sorry, they embark on an epic road trip where they encounter an assortment of eccentric characters such as a trucker (William Peterson) who has decided to die via hired assassin and a military man (Derek Luke) fully stocked and prepared for the apocalypse.

It's a safe bet that no matter what Dodge and Penny will wind up together. The A-story may be a tad predicable, but Carell and Knightley make for a winning couple. They're likeable enough that you root for them on their cross-country adventure. Just as he's done in Little Miss Sunshine and Dan in Real Life, Carell gives an understated performance that mixes pathos with a dry wit. Knightley brings warmth to the role of Penny. Some critics have described her as the dreaded 'manic pixie dream girl,' perhaps because she totes around a collection of vinyl records like a safety blanket. Thankfully, Penny does not display the typical quirks of the archetype though she does resemble a pixie with her short hair and petite frame.

In addition to the leads, Scafaria has assembled a wonderful supporting cast that includes Rob Corddry, Connie Britton, Patton Oswalt, Melanie Lynskey, and Amy Schumer as Dodge's party pals. There's also Adam Brody as Penny's dim-witted musician boyfriend and Martin Sheen in an emotional turn as Dodge's estranged father. Gillian Jacobs and T.J. Miller cameo as the wait staff of a TGIFriday's type establishment that has descended into full-blown hedonism. But, some of the funniest scenes involve Dodge and his maid (Tonita Castro), who seems absolutely oblivious to the fact that all life on Earth is about to be wiped out.

Boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy wins girl back, world is destroyed by massive rocks from outer space. Seeking a Friend for the End of the World is a breezy and bittersweet romantic comedy bolstered by some terrific performances.

Rating: *** (*****)

Our Idiot Brother

Our Idiot Brother - Dir. Jesse Peretz (2011)

Before becoming an independent filmmaker, Jesse Peretz was a founder of the alternative rock band The Lemonheads, whose biggest hit was a cover of Simon & Garfunkel's iconic "Mrs. Robinson." Peretz eventually directed two low-budget feature films along with numerous commercials and music videos. He landed his biggest gig in the critically reviled comedy The Ex with Zach Braff and Jason Bateman. Peretz has bounced back from that particular flop with the winning Our Idiot Brother, a frothy comedy that was co-written by his sister Evgenia Peretz and her husband David Schisgall. Our Idiot Brother premiered at Sundance where it was picked up by the Weinstein Company and released into theaters with little fanfare.

Paul Rudd stars as the titular idiot brother, a permanently baked fellow by the name of Ned who goes to prison for selling marijuana to a police officer at a farmer's market. Not an undercover cop, but one in full uniform, who claimed to just be having a rough time. However, Ned is only an idiot in the Dostoyevskian sense. He's not the brightest bulb, but he does possess an unwavering innocence, love, and trust for all those around him.

When Ned is released several months later, he finds his girlfriend, Janet (Kathryn Hahn), has already shacked up with a new man, Billy (TJ Miller), who is even more scatterbrained than Ned. She boots him off their biodynamic farm and refuses to relinquish his beloved golden retriever Willie Nelson. With nowhere else to go, Ned is shuffled between the homes of his three sisters. Liz (Emily Mortimer) is the oldest and married to a douchebag documentarian (Steve Coogan). Both are uptight yuppies who have rigidly planned their son's life in order to get him into a posh private school. Miranda (Elizabeth Banks) is a workaholic magazine writer desperately trying to score an elusive interview with an heiress turned tabloid fodder. The youngest sister is Natalie (Zooey Deschanel), a bohemian hipster in a lesbian relationship with Cindy (Rashida Jones), a lawyer. The Sapphic couple lives in an odd communal loft with other artsy fartsy types. Ned's freewheeling and unfiltered lifestyle winds up turning his sisters' lives upside down

Our Idiot Brother is a welcome change of pace from a summer filled with raunchy R-rated comedies. The film can't be considered a masterpiece and the plot is predictable with an unsurprising and schmaltzy ending. Of course, the sisters will eventually forgive their brother and realize the problem was with them, not him. Still, the journey is riddled with amusing moments and great performances from the all-star cast.

Paul Rudd ably carries the picture on his shoulders as a low-rent Lebowski. His Ned is charming enough to easily win the audience over. The actresses portraying his sisters all take to their roles even if they aren't required to do any heavy lifting. Mortimer, Banks, and (in particular) Deschanel are cast as characters similar to ones they've played in the past. Rashida Jones doesn't get nearly enough screen time. She looks stunning even when wardrobe is trying to butch her up with thick-rimmed glasses, a dress shirt and tie, and jean shorts. And for all you horndogs, yes, Rashida Jones and Zooey Deschanel do make out. Rudd has good chemistry with each actress, but his best scenes are the ones he shares with TJ Miller and Adam Scott, who co-stars as a neighbor and potential love interest to Miranda. Rudd and Miller seem to be in a stiff competition to see who can play the more brain-addled stoner. Meanwhile, Rudd and Scott bond over women troubles and a shared love of Dune ("Father…the sleeper has awakened.")

Our Idiot Brother is a lightweight film that's as breezy and easygoing as its lead protagonist. It isn't a memorable comedy, but it is a solid one with a terrific cast.

Rating: *** (*****)

Unstoppable

Unstoppable - Dir. Tony Scott (2010)

"This is Will Coulson, your conductor, we're gonna run this bitch down."

Unstoppable marks the fifth collaboration between Tony Scott and Denzel Washington as well as the second time in a row the pair get to play with trains. Their working relationship has yielded some good (Man on Fire) and some bad (Déjà Vu). You can count Unstoppable as one of the good. It's a slick flick powered with enough blue-collar testosterone to keep an entire fleet of Amtrak locomotives running.

Loosely based on actual events, Unstoppable features Washington as veteran rail man, Frank Barnes, who is in charge of training new conductor, Will Coulson (Chris Pine). Barnes isn't thrilled because this snot-nosed kid is taking a job away from another old timer like himself. Coulson doesn't endear himself after making a series of mistakes on his first day behind the wheel. Meanwhile, someone else has made a mistake far worse. In a hurry to go to lunch, a slack-jawed goof by the name of Dewey (Ethan Suplee) steps out of the cab to switch tracks and accidentally leaves his train under power. Hey, that's what you get for putting Willem from Mallrats in charge. I mean, the guy couldn't even see the sailboat in that picture.

The runaway train begins picking up speed sending the railroad company into a tizzy to regain control. The train not only carries a large amount of diesel fuel, but several cars of toxic chemicals. It's also heading into heavily populated areas. Not to mention there's a dead man's curve ahead that's directly above a fuel depot. Oh, and a train full of elementary school students on a field trip is traveling on a collision course. Barnes and Coulson take it upon themselves to gun their locomotive in reverse in the hopes of catching up to the train and slowing it down.

Is it a little ludicrous? No, it's plenty ludicrous. Unstoppable is everything it's advertised to be, unapologetic schlock. This is a fast-paced action movie full of energy and white-knuckle tension. Yes, we know the heroes will eventually succeed, but the film keeps you on the edge of your seat and gripping your armrests. Credit should go to a surprisingly restrained Tony Scott. He and older brother Ridley Scott could mount a big-budget blockbuster in their sleep. While Ridley has dipped his feet in various genres like sci-fi (Alien, Blade Runner) and even romantic comedy (A Good Year), Tony has stuck with high-octane popcorn pictures. Over the years, he has relied heavily on saturated images, flashy camera tricks, and frenzied editing over solid storytelling. Here, Tony Scott takes a step back and allows the audience to focus solely on the story.

Any other credit goes to the lead actors who carry the movie on their hefty shoulders. Chris Pine brings some of that Captain Kirk bravado with him and he needs all of it to prevent being swallowed whole by Mr. Denzel Washington. Seriously, Denzel is simply Denzel. He has such a tremendous on-screen presence that he transcends whatever character he is playing. Barnes and Coulson have your standard buddy relationship. The former is the hard-nosed lifer and the latter is the brash rookie. There's not much more to it than that, but Washington and Pine absolutely make it work. Screenwriter Mark Bomback gives each man a perfunctory backstory. Coulson struggles with marital troubles while Barnes is a widower raising two young daughters who work at Hooters. Of course, we get shots of them in their orange shorts and tight tank tops to keep the film from turning into a complete sausage fest. They are definitely a welcome sight from all the shots of pulsating trains thrusting about and decimating anything within their path.

Speaking of which, the only female role of note is Rosario Dawson as Connie Hooper, the company's yardmaster. Much like Washington in The Taking of Pelham 123, she's in charge of coordinating the trains and directing traffic. I doubt there are many yardmasters who look like Rosario Dawson, but who's going to complain? Dawson does her best with an underwritten part that mostly calls for her to spout explanatory dialogue like, "…we're talking about a missile the size of the Chrysler Building."

Unstoppable serves as something of a love letter to the working class man. Scott and Bomback touch upon the current economic state and how it has affected those who have served as the backbone of the nation. It's not surprising that the film is set in Pennsylvania, home of the founding fathers along with the steel industry and Pennsylvania Railroad, once one of the largest companies in the world. How apropos that the main antagonist is Kevin Dunn as a railroad executive who is worried more about stockholders and the bottom line than with people's lives.

However, don't mistake Unstoppable for anything resembling a thinking man's film. It's a cinematic adrenaline rush for the action junkie.

Rating: *** (*****)

She's Out of My League

She's Out of My League - Dir. Jim Field Smith (2010)

You kinda wonder what went on in the lives of Sean Anders and John Morris when they wrote the screenplay for She's Out of My League. A schlubby guy falls for a smoking hot chick, winning her over from her alpha male boyfriend while humiliating his bitchy ex-girlfriend. It's pure nerd wish fulfillment.

Jay Baruchel is cast as the same guy he always plays, the stammering, gawky geek. Here, he's Kirk Kettner, a security officer at the Pittsburgh International Airport. He's still trying to get over being dumped by his ex, Marnie (Lindsay Sloane). To heap humiliation upon humiliation, Marnie and her new boyfriend, Ron (Hayes MacArthur), remain close to Kirk's parents and they are all planning a family vacation to that faraway land known as Branson, MO. Kirk hits it off with Molly (Alice Eve), a successful event planner, after returning her missing iPhone. Kirk's insecurities over their drastic differences in looks and social class threaten to end their unlikely romance. Not even his circle of ribald friends (Mike Vogel, TJ Miller, Nate Torrence) give him a chance in Hell. She's a 10 and he's a 5. How will it ever work out? Kirk also has to deal with Molly's former fighter pilot boyfriend, an insanely jealous Marnie, and his embarrassing family.

She's Out of My League plays like a Knocked Up knock-off. It's the type of film someone makes after watching the entire oeuvres of Judd Apatow and the Farrelly Brothers. League is littered with lowbrow gags that include nut shots, gay jokes, and a sequence that involves Baruchel getting his pubic hair shaved. Another scene revolves around Kirk ejaculating into his pants and trying to stop the dog from licking it. Just as the movie never moves beyond juvenile humor, the cast never moves beyond broad caricatures. For example, Debra Jo Rupp is cast as Kirk's mother, but she's basically reprising her role as the mom from That 70's Show. Baruchel is the same stammering beanpole he has in other pictures like Tropic Thunder. He isn't given the opportunity to imbue enough charm to his character in order to make the audience root for him.

Rating: * ½

Get Him to the Greek

Get Him to the Greek - Dir. Nicholas Stoller (2010)


Pushed out by the Judd Apatow comedy factory, Forgetting Sarah Marshall was a nice shot in the arm to the staid romantic comedy genre. The movie will likely be remembered for Jason Segel’s full-frontal and a scene stealing performance from Russell Brand as the hedonistic rock star Aldous Snow.

Nicholas Stoller, who directed Marshall from a script by Segel, takes over writing duties for the spin-off film, Get Him to the Greek. Brand returns, reteaming with Jonah Hill who plays a different character this time around.

Aldous Snow has settled down since last we saw him. After a stint in rehab, he’s married pop singer, Jackie Q (Rose Byrne), and plays attentive father to their son, Naples (Lino Facioli). However, Snow relapses following the utter failure of his latest album (the hilariously pandering “African Child”) and the dissolution of his marriage.

Back in L.A., Aaron Green (Jonah Hill), a low-level talent scout for Pinnacle Records, hopes to impress his boss, Sergio (Sean “Puff Daddy” Combs). He pitches the idea for Snow to perform a live concert at the Greek Theater and wins up having to act as the petulant superstar’s glorified babysitter. Traveling from London to Hollywood, Green gets a first-hand look at the rock ‘n roll lifestyle of sex, drugs, and even more drugs.

Much like its progenitor, Get Him to the Greek examines relationships with just a touch of raunchiness. For Snow, it’s his crumbling marriage and his relationship to his father (Colm Meaney), a lounge act in Vegas. Green ties to hold it together with his workaholic med student girlfriend, Daphne (Elisabeth Moss). When Stoller doesn’t lay it on too thick, the personal elements feel genuine. Yet, the film sputters towards the end when it becomes a little too sentimental.

The comedy is mined from the usual odd couple situations. Greek is like a road movie crossed with The Hangover in dealing with the mischief that overgrown man-children get into. Hill plays off Brand well as the overwhelmed straight man and Sean “P. Diddy” Combs gives a surprisingly funny performance as the overbearing boss. The soundtrack is catchy and the film features plenty of cameos from celebs like, Christina Aguilera, Meredith Vieira, and Kristen Bell reprising her role as Sarah Marshall.

Rating: ** ½

How To Train Your Dragon

How to Train Your Dragon - Dirs. Dean DeBlois & Chris Sanders (2010)


Dreamworks Animation has always played second fiddle to Pixar. Films like Antz and Shark Tale haven’t come close to matching the quality of A Bug’s Life or Finding Nemo. Kung Fu Panda and the first Shrek were good though the latter has become a franchise of diminishing returns. It’s taken a long time, but Dreamworks has produced their best movie to date in How to Train Your Dragon.

On the island of Berk is a village of Vikings constantly under siege by dragons. Hiccup (Jay Baruchel) is the son of the village’s leader Stoick (Gerard Butler). While Stoick is the biggest, burliest of the Vikings, Hiccup is an awkward, neurotic beanpole. Hiccup apprentices for a one-handed blacksmith named Gobber (Craig Ferguson) though his gadgets are never taken seriously. Using a catapult of his invention, Hiccup manages to bring down the most dangerous of all dragons, the Night Fury.

Hiccup finds the injured dragon, but cannot bring himself to kill the feline-like creature. Naming him Toothless, the pair bond quickly and Hiccup begins cataloguing all manner of dragon behavior. All of these new facts conflict with everything the Vikings are taught about dragons being utterly savage. Hiccup and a band of young warriors must protect the dragons’ nest when Stoick leads the others on a mission to wipe them all out.

How to Train Your Dragon bares many superficial similarities to Avatar. Both films feature protagonists that embark on almost identical hero’s journeys. However, Dragon manages to capture the wonders of flight in a slightly better manner. The 3D here gives you a slight sensation of flying without any nauseous side effects. The film even has a Superman-like moment when Hiccup takes love interest Astrid (America Ferrera) for her first dragon ride. It’s not essential to see it in 3D since the process does dull the vivid colors of the animated world.

What works best for Dragon isn’t some fancy new gimmick, but the relationship between Hiccup and Toothless which is the heart of the film. In lesser hands, Dragon would have been filled with anachronistic pop cultural references and the dragon would have been voiced by a high-priced celebrity. Remember Dragonheart? No? There’s a reason. Co-directors Dean DeBlois and Chris Sanders previously worked on Lilo & Stitch which dealt with comparable themes. They manage to convey all the right emotions without being bogged down by on-the-nose dialogue. DeBlois and Sanders also bring some of the same irreverent humor exemplified by a gag in which Stoick presents his son with matching Viking helmets made from their late mother’s breastplates.

Wonderfully animated, How to Train Your Dragon is worth catching in the theaters.

Rating: ***1/2