Wild Card

Wild Card - Dir. Simon West (2015)

There’s a set formula to nearly every Jason Statham action film. The British bruiser generally plays a stoic anti-hero with a rigid code of honor and woe to anyone who attempts to violate his rules. The Transporter, The Mechanic, and Parker are good examples of the prototypical Statham vehicle. One of the rare occasions in which Statham broke from said formula was Steven Knight’s Redemption. Statham did his finest work in the somber tale of a homeless war vet, his romance with a kind-hearted nun, and an investigation into the murder of another transient. Yes, Statham laid serious beatdowns to an assortment of baddies, but the fight scenes weren’t elaborately staged and were always in service of the story.

Wild Card is an unsuccessful attempt to once again give audiences something more than a standard Statham punch-a-thon.

Wild Card is based on the 1985 novel Heat by William Goldman, the legendary scribe behind All the President’s Men, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, and The Princess Bride. Heat was previously adapted into a box office flop that starred Burt Reynolds and featured a revolving door of directors including Robert Altman and Dick Richards, who was punched out by Reynolds. Goldman tries his hand once more with Statham in the lead and Simon West (Con Air, The Expendables 2) in the director’s seat.

Statham is Nick Wild and he’s a more credible protagonist than Reynolds as Nick “The Mex” Escalante. Wild makes his home in the underbelly of the Vegas Strip, the parts that are tucked away from the gaudy tourist traps and glamorous suites for high rollers. Wild’s Vegas is a purgatory where ambitious travelers failed to earn the riches necessary to live out their dreams. In Wild’s case, he’s got his eye on Corsica. Unfortunately, he’s also an inveterate gambler who loses any money he earns from assorted odd jobs. Wild’s latest problems involve Holly, a former flame working as a prostitute who is beaten to a pulp by volatile gangster Danny DeMarco (Milo Ventimiglia). When Wild helps Holly exact revenge on DeMarco, it leads to problem after problem.

Wild Card won’t be highlighted anytime soon by the Las Vegas board of tourism. This is a film far from the glitzy hotels with gloomy skies and lonely nights. The supporting cast is layered with noted actors like Jason Alexander, Stanley Tucci, Anne Heche, and Sofia Vergera. These are mostly glorified cameos and it’s almost disappointing to see someone of the caliber of Hope Davis appear in a handful of scenes as a blackjack dealer. In fact, the women in Wild Card are all waitresses, hookers, and the like. On the other hand, these casting coups accentuate this version of Vegas as a depressing way station where someone can easily lose himself or herself.

This is an intriguing premise to find Jason Statham. Unfortunately, none of the filmmakers felt truly invested in making Wild Card a Sartre-esque tale of existential entrapment. Moments of melancholy are brief as the movie breaks out into a bar room brawl. Wild Card features two significant fight scenes, neither of which are particularly memorable in spite of choreography by Corey Yuen.

Wild Card was quickly shuffled off into obscurity following a limited theatrical run. This is a film confused about its own existence. It’s one that’s not quite a drama and not quite an action flick. Recommended only for die-hard Statham-ites.

Rating: ** (*****)

Transformers: Age of Extinction

Transformers: Age of Extinction - Dir. Michael Bay (2014)

"A new era has begun. The age of the Transformers is over…"

Oh, where to even begin with this movie. We might as well start with the plot, such as it is. Transformers: Dark of the Moon concluded with the heroic Autobots repelling a Decepticon invasion that left Chicago devastated and 1200 humans dead. Age of Extinction picks up five years later as the American government has cut all ties with the Autobots. CIA agent Harold Attinger (Kelsey Grammer) heads up an off-the-books operation that involves hunting down all Transformers, regardless of whether they are Autobots or Decepticons. The robots are harvested for parts and shipped to Joshua Joyce (Stanley Tucci), the brilliant head of a technological conglomerate. Joyce has discovered an unstable metal dubbed "Transformium," which he and Attinger plan to use to create their own army of Transformers. In order to gather more of the metal, Attinger has struck an alliance with the bounty hunter Lockdown (Mark Ryan). In exchange for capturing Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen), Lockdown will give Attinger the Seed, a terraforming device that would create Transformium.

In Texas, Cade Yeager (Mark Wahlberg) is a down-on-his-luck inventor who is struggling to pay the mortgage on his farm and send his daughter, Tessa (Nicola Peltz), to college. He purchases a rundown semi-truck hoping to find something salvageable. The exasperated Tessa can only remark that he's just turning junk into other junk, which could be a perfect metaphor for this entire franchise. The truck turns out to be Optimus Prime and his presence alerts a CIA strike team led by the remorseless Savoy (Titus Welliver). Now classified as fugitives, Optimus and the few remaining Autobots must protect their new human allies.

The human protagonists from the previous movies are gone and forgotten with nary a fleeting reference. Not that the new characters are an improvement, they are all just as bland and uninteresting. Sure, Mark Wahlberg is a better protagonist than Shia LaBeouf, but his being an inventor bears no little impact on the plot. He never invents anything to defeat the Decepticons, he just grabs an alien gun and shoots stuff. On the other hand, producers are wise enough to fill the supporting cast with actors like Stanley Tucci, Kelsey Grammer, and Titus Welliver to lend some legitimacy to the ridiculousness. Grammer and Welliver play standard issue cardboard villains, but Tucci has fun hamming it up as an evil Steve Jobs. If you didn't get that reference, there's a black and white portrait of Tucci in a turtleneck sweater hanging prominently in the background.

As Michael Bay's latest ingénue, Nicola Peltz isn't given any opportunity to differentiate herself from Megan Fox or Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. Peltz is dressed in cutoff shorts just like Fox and even uses a tow truck to assist the Autobots during the climax. There are plenty of shots from between her legs as the camera leers at her thighs and buttocks. The way Michael Bay fetishizes Peltz feels dirty when you consider that her character is 17, despite the actress being 19 in real life. However, that's nothing compared to the sequence in which Bay justifies statutory rape. Tessa's boyfriend, Shane (Jack Reynor), a 20-year old Irish race car driver, pulls out a copy of a "Romeo & Juliet" law allowing the two of them to be together since they dated before he turned 18. Yes, one of the heroes in Age of Extinction, is a creep who carries around a photocopy of a law that allows him to have sex with an underage girl. In a film about giant robots from outer space, why is this subject even being broached?

Congratulations to Michael Bay for hitting all new lows though the usual trademarks of a Bay production are present here. We have the rampant misogyny represented by the fact that nearly every female character in the movie is thin and impossibly gorgeous. The only exception is the sassy, overweight black woman who serves as comic relief. Aside from Peltz, the only other actresses who receive any significant screen time are Sophia Myles as a geologist and Li Bingbing as an executive in Joyce's employ. They are just as one-note as everybody else in the whole series and both women appear and disappear whenever it's convenient for the plot. Li Bingbing's inclusion and an entire third act set in Hong Kong is a blatant attempt to pander to Chinese audiences, who have become increasingly vital to the wallets of studio executives. The product placement throughout Age of Extinction is equally forced with actors shoving Bud Lights and Beats speakers into your face in full IMAX 3D. One would think Bay was doing this with a hint of irony, but it's hard to tell anymore. Next, we have racist caricatures in the form of Drift (Ken Watanabe), an Autobot modeled after a samurai who speaks in Haikus composed of broken English.

Just as he couldn't be bothered to come up with unique personalities for the humans, screenwriter Ehren Kruger couldn't be bothered to do anymore with the Autobots. Hound (John Goodman) fulfills the exact same role as Ironhide that of the grizzled war veteran while Bumblebee gets surprisingly little screen time given his popularity. Lockdown is the most interesting villain in the series, a Transformer who owes no allegiance to either the Autobots or Decepticons. He works for the mysterious Creators (the Quintessons?) who originally built the Transformers as slave labor. Also, long-time fans might be pleased to hear Frank Welker return to voice Megatron who has now been upgraded to Galvatron ala Transformers: The Movie. The designs of the Transformers have also been improved so that the viewer can actually differentiate one robot from the other. The biggest additions to the robotic roster are the fan-favorite Dinobots. Prepare for Devastator-sized disappointment, folks, you will have to wait over two hours into the movie before the Dinobots appear, despite them serving as lynchpins of the marketing campaign.

If you're wondering how Kruger spent his time during the script writing process, it certainly wasn't crafting scintillating dialogue. Nobody was expecting David Mamet in a Transformers picture, but you'd think Kruger would at least put a modicum of effort beyond, "Take that bitch" or "Do you have a warrant?" "My face is my warrant." And it's always thrilling to hear Optimus Prime, the noble warrior that he is, running around rooftops screaming, "I'll kill you."

SPOILERS: At the end of the movie, Optimus shoots off into outer space with the aid of rocket boosters in his feet, which begs the question why didn't he use them before, instead of turning into a truck to slowly save the day? Also, he threatens to kill the Dinobots unless they join forces with him. Then, Optimus lets them loose on the Chinese countryside because it's always a great idea to have mechanical dinosaurs running around completely unfettered.

Story has never been Michael Bay's strong suit. It's traditionally been incidental to the visuals. The last three films suffered from action sequences that descended into incoherent visual noise, but Bay's camerawork seems to grown more patient in Age of Extinction. This allows Bay to make good use of 3D imagery, particularly during a set piece wherein the Cade and Tessa dangle precariously from grabbling cables high above Chicago, a city which shows no evidence of serving as ground zero for an alien invasion a few short years ago. Bay takes a page out of Terrence Malick's playbook by shooting the farm scenes at golden hour with actors silhouetted against the backdrop of a beautiful orange sky. The beauty is almost undone when you realize Bay's idea of small town Texas is a Bostonian, a surfer dude, an Irishman, and a girl who struts around the rural countryside in high heeled boots.

Transformers: Age of Extinction runs two hours and forty-five minutes, a punishing length filled with inane dialogue, illogical plot developments, and relentless stupidity. Revenge of the Fallen still stands as the worst of the bunch, but it has the excuse of being rushed into production during the writer's strike. Age of Extinction has no excuse. However, none of that will mean a damn thing because audiences still eat these movies up with a spoon. The fourth Transformers film scored over $300 million worldwide during opening weekend. If you enjoy Transformers, then more power to you. Personally, I find it sad that this is a resounding success while Edge of Tomorrow, a far better written blockbuster with one of the strongest female characters in recent memory, was a box office flop.

Rating: ** (*****)

Jack the Giant Slayer

Jack the Giant Slayer - Dir. Bryan Singer (2013)

Fairy tales are ripe for the picking in Hollywood. They come with instant brand recognition around the world and, most importantly, they are in public domain. Studios don't have to dish out thousands of dollars for the rights. Jack the Giant Slayer is the latest to follow in that trend.

Jack (Nicholas Hoult) is a farm boy tilling the land in the kingdom of Cloister. As a young lad, he was fascinated with the story of King Erik. Long ago, a group of monks toyed with magic and created beans that would grow into stalks that reached to the heavens. They unknowingly brought down a race of bloodthirsty giants who proceeded to ransack the world of man. The remaining monks carved a magical crown out of the iron heart of a giant to grant Erik the power to control them and send them back to the land. The crown and the last of the beans were buried with King Erik and became legend.

Through happenstance, Jack trades the family horse for a pouch of those magic beans, much to the chagrin of his uncle who tosses them away. Meanwhile, Princess Isabelle (Eleanor Tomlinson) flees from the castle to escape her arranged marriage to the odious Lord Roderick (Stanley Tucci), who has secretly stolen King Erik's crown. On a stormy night, Isabelle seeks shelter in Jack's home just as the bean sprouts and sends her into the land of the giants. Led by the two-headed General Fallon (Bill Nighy), the giants have been searching for a way to return and seek revenge for their past defeat. Jack and members of the king's elite guard climb the beanstalk to rescue the Princess while Roderick plots to enslave the giants and rule all the kingdoms.

Jack the Giant Slayer might be considered this year's John Carter as an overly expensive blockbuster that played to empty theaters. The production budget was almost $200 million and the release date was pushed back from summer of 2012 to the doldrums of February. However, Jack and John Carter do not deserve to be categorized alongside notorious flops such as Heaven's Gate or Ishtar. Make no mistake, Jack the Giant Slayer is far from a great movie, but it's more enjoyable than Bryan Singer's last two films, Superman Returns and Valkyrie. The script sticks rigidly to a predictable formula and most of the humor falls flat. The CGI is a mixed bag. There's no sense of wonder or fear when the characters first encounter the grotesque giants who burp, fart, and pick their noses.

Still, Jack the Giant Slayer is refreshingly straightforward without being wildly revisionist in the manner of Snow White and the Huntsman or Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters. It's fast paced without the bloated running time of other epics, something Peter Jackson seems to have forgotten. Jack maintains a lighthearted tone throughout even while the body count rises and rises. It's a bloodless film, but little kids might be spooked at the prospect of a giant biting a man in half, despite the grisly act being committed offscreen.

Nicholas Hoult is getting to the point where he can do no wrong. Fresh off Warm Bodies, Hoult gives another terrific performance for a rather bland character. Eleanor Tomlinson does her best, but her princess gets stuck as the damsel in distress too often. Despite being written as headstrong (she sneaks out of the castle ala Princess Jasmine), she spends most of the movie screaming and waiting to be rescued. Just as Ewan McGregor did his best Alec Guinness impression for the Star Wars prequels, he does his best Errol Flynn here as Elmont, the captain of the king's guard. His Transpotting co-star Ewan Bremner is in full on Spud mode as Roderick's simple-minded toady. Stanley Tucci is a hoot as the villain. With his stringy hair and gapped teeth, he resembles an ancestor of Tim Burton. It's also nice to see Ian McShane cast as someone other than the baddie. He plays Isabelle's father, King Brahmwell. Genre fans should take note as Warwick Davis appears in a cameo and Fallon's other head is voiced by John Kassir, who also did the voice of the Crypt Keeper on HBO's Tales from the Crypt.

Singer directs the action sequences with aplomb, particularly the unique way in which the beanstalks grow. The climax is a chaotic castle siege that remains exciting and visibly coherent without all the choppy editing and shaky cam. There's also a cleverly staged sequence in which Jack rescues Elmont from being baked alive by a giant chef.

Sporting a bloated budget and a scant opening weekend, Jack the Giant Slayer will undoubtedly stand as one of the 2013's biggest bombs. Jack is no Princess Bride, but it should hardly be considered one of the year's worst movies.

Rating: ** ½ (*****)

Captain America: The First Avenger

Captain America: The First Avenger - Dir. Joe Johnston (2011)

"What makes you so special?"
"Nothing. I'm just a kid from Brooklyn."

If the interpretations of Mayan calendars turn out to be false and the world doesn't end in 2012, fanboys will rejoice as they'll be able to witness the glory of The Avengers, in which Marvel's greatest superheroes join forces for the first time in live-action. Before the premiere comic book team (sorry, Justice League) makes its debut, Marvel Studios must place the pieces into play. They laid the foundation with Iron Man and continued to build upon it with The Incredible Hulk and Iron Man 2. This summer, Marvel Studios had the daunting task of breathing life into two of their more challenging characters. One was a Norse god with a magical hammer. Thor was successfully realized in an epic fantasy with just the right amount of fish-out-of-water humor. Next up was Captain America, a product of World War II jingoism that leapt from the minds of creators Joe Simon and Jack Kirby.

The character made his debut in Captain America Comics #1, published by Marvel (then known as Timely) in March of 1941, a year before Pearl Harbor plunged the United States into WWII . The cover famously depicted Captain America punching Adolf Hitler right in the face. It would be easy to ridicule his unwavering patriotic beliefs, his star-spangled spandex, and a garish code-name. William Klein did just that with the absurdist Mr. Freedom, a biting Cold War satire of American culture. Yet, Captain America: The First Avenger deftly deals with those issues without a hint of cynicism and celebrates the Captain's old fashioned values.

It is 1942 and a 98-pound asthmatic named Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) is rejected from enlisting in the Army for the umpteenth time. His best friend, Sgt. James "Bucky" Barnes (Sebastian Stan), tries to console him, but Rogers simply wants to serve his country. He gets his chance when Dr. Abraham Erskine (Stanley Tucci) chooses him as part of a clandestine super-soldier program. The project's overseer, Col. Phillips (Tommy Lee Jones) has serious doubts about this human toothpick, but Dr. Erskine believes in him and so does British liaison, Peggy Carter (Hayley Atwell). Thanks to Erskine's serum and vita-ray procedure, Rogers is transformed into a buff beefcake with strength, speed, and agility beyond those of normal human beings. Erskine takes the secrets of the process to his grave when a Nazi saboteur (Richard Armitage) murders him immediately following the experiment.

The assassin was sent by Johann Schmidt (Hugo Weaving), the recipient of an early version of the serum, which gave him super-strength, a crimson cranium, and the nickname of The Red Skull. Schmidt has formed his own splinter group called Hydra, which employs high-tech weaponry powered by the Tesseract (or Cosmic Cube to the comic book fans), a mystical object said to be from Odin's treasury. Knowing Rogers is their only super-soldier; the government hones his identity as a symbol of national pride as he performs in propaganda reels and USO shows. Dressed in a wool costume, the Captain pleads for citizens to buy war bonds while leggy dancers belt out a show tune penned by lyricist David Zippel and Alan Menken, the composer of classic Disney movies like The Little Mermaid and Aladdin. In a clever meta-textual gag, the comic book character becomes a comic book character with issues of Captain America being read by children and servicemen alike. The Captain eventually makes his way to the frontlines where he battles Hydra alongside Bucky and the internationally diverse Howling Commandos.

There has been a glut of comic book films this year and Captain America lies somewhere in the middle of the pack. It's leaps and bounds above The Green Hornet and Green Lantern, but it's not as strong as Thor or X-Men: First Class. Much like Thor, the story is rushed with the filmmakers primarily concerned with setting up The Avengers than crafting a stand-alone picture. Just when you think you've reached the midpoint of Captain America, you're actually at the climax. There's a lot stuffed into this origin story that introduces numerous characters and builds subplots for later movies. Minor spoilers: Captain America is bookended with the discovery and revival of the Star-Spangled Avenger after spending decades in deep freeze. That's a lot to handle for a single two-hour film. So much so that the movie employs three montage sequences to pare down the narrative. But, the strengths of Captain America outweigh its weaknesses.

Director Joe Johnston has bounced back from last year's critically derided Wolfman with an exciting, four-color adventure that recalls the most underrated comic book adaptation, The Rocketeer, which he also directed. Captain America has a vintage quality that the captures the tone of Raiders of the Lost Ark and the Republic movie serials that inspired it. Not much of a surprise as Johnston studied under the tutelage of George Lucas and Steven Spielberg as a special effects artist on Raiders and Star Wars. There is even a sly Indiana Jones reference ("The Fuhrer digs for trinkets in the desert…"). Johnston isn't a strong action director, but the battle sequences in Captain America are exciting, despite an anti-climactic finale. There's a Where Eagles Dare-style raid in the Alps and it's a joy to see Cap slinging his shield. The screenplay was written by Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely (The Chronicles of Narnia) with an uncredited rewrite by Avengers director Joss Whedon. Though it tends to fall on the bloated side, the script has plenty of sharp humor and the kind of wicked one-liners that could have only sprung from the Whedon's mind.

The production design is impeccable. It doesn't attempt to faithfully replicate the period, but replicate an exaggerated Marvel-ized version of the times, which could only be described as Art Deco Retro-Futurism, what people of the past thought the future would look like. The highlight is an early staging of the Stark Expo from Iron Man 2 with a mannequin of the Golden Age Human Torch (one of Marvel's first heroes) on display. This isn't the WWII from Saving Private Ryan or Band of Brothers, but a PG accounting with Hydra foot soldiers vaporizing their enemies with chrome-plated laser cannons.

Chris Evans takes on his toughest and highest-profile role to date as the title character. Evans is already known to comic book fans as the Human Torch in Fantastic Four and the skateboarding Lucas Lee in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. As Johnny Storm, Evans brought a charismatic flair to the otherwise abysmal Fantastic Four. The same can be said for his role in another comic book adaptation, The Losers. Evans had turned down Captain America multiple times before revealing he was simply afraid of playing the part. It's lucky he changed his mind as Evans is excellent in the role. Not only does he have the All-American good looks to play Captain America, he brings the right amount of gravitas. Using the magic of CGI, Evans begins the film as a scrawny weakling constantly beating up by bullies, but never backing down. He is actually more interesting as Steve Rogers than he is as Cap, partly because the majority of Cap's scenes are action-driven rather than dramatic. The most refreshing trait of the character was the fact that he didn't go through an obligatory character arc. The majority of recent comic book films revolve around an arrogant protagonist who must learn humility and responsibility en route to becoming a bona fide hero. Steve Rogers is honorable and virtuous throughout First Avenger, yet that didn't make him any less compelling. Secondly, Cap doesn't treat his newfound powers as a burden. Thus, he does not go through the clichéd turning point of quitting only to take up the mantle again after ten minutes.

The supporting cast is equally good with even the smallest role performed memorably. Hugo Weaving is villainously over-the-top as Cap's arch-enemy, employing the distinctive inflections of eccentric auteur Werner Herzog to his cartoonish German accent. The make-up is excellent too, making the Red Skull a hideous by-product of Aryan genetic engineering. Toby Jones plays the Red Skull's right-hand man, Arnim Zola. Jones subverts the cliché of the sycophantic henchman by injecting a sense of apprehension in the face of the Skull's overwhelming evil. Tommy Lee Jones essentially does Tommy Lee Jones as the Captain's gruff and grizzled commanding officer. Dominic Cooper also turns in a great performance as Iron Man's father, Howard Stark, a Howard Hughes-esque playboy industrialist.

This isn't Captain America's first film. The character was previously brought to life in a pair of 70's made-for-TV movies with Reb Brown as a motorcycle helmet wearing Captain America. There was also a direct-to-video cheapie with Matt Salinger (son of J.D. Salinger) as rubber-eared Captain America who fought an Italian Red Skull. Captain America: The First Avenger is the version fans have been waiting for.

Rating: *** (*****)

Burlesque

Burlesque - Dir. Steve Antin (2010)

When pop stars break into acting, it's usually not a pretty sight. One need not look any further than Mariah Carey in Glitter or Britney Spears in Crossroads. Christina Aguilera's big screen debut may not be very memorable, but it isn't nearly as dreadful.

The one-time Mouseketeer plays Ali, a small town girl from Iowa who hops on the bus to Los Angeles to fulfill her dreams of stardom. She pounds pavement going from one fruitless audition to another until she comes across The Burlesque Lounge on the Sunset Strip. She's immediately floored by the exquisite costumes and elaborate dance numbers. Ali is desperate for a job there, but is turned down flat by the club's owner Tess (Cher). She finds some sympathy from Tess's gay best friend, Sean (Stanley Tucci), and the handsome bartender, Jack (Cam Gigandet), who gives her a job as a waitress. She eventually impresses Tess enough to become a dancer, earning enmity from the club's previous centerpiece, the jealous and alcoholic Nikki (Kristen Bell). The girls, with the exception of Tess, are called on to merely lip synch the tunes. An act of sabotage by Nikki backfires allowing Ali to show off her "mutant lungs" for a rendition of Etta James' "Tough Lover." Just like that she becomes the new star attraction.

Meanwhile, Tess is fighting to save the club when she falls behind on mortgage payments. Her ex-husband and business partner, Vince (Peter Gallagher), is pressuring her to sell out to real estate mogul, Marcus Gerber (Eric Dane). The exceedingly rich Marcus has his eyes on not just the club, but on Ali as well. Our plucky heroine is ensnared in a love triangle between the kind-hearted Jack and the high life that only Marcus can give her.

Burlesque was directed by Steve Antin, the brother of Pussycat Dolls founder, Robin Antin. It's clear where Antin's influences lie as he apes Bob Fosse and Rob Marshall in the staging of his dance numbers. These are showy sequences reminiscent of Cabaret and Chicago. Speaking of which Alan Cumming, who played the Emcee in the 1998 Broadway production of Cabaret, essentially reprises the role here in a glorified cameo. The guys at the Lounge wear bowlers and eyeliner while looking like metrosexual versions of the Droogs from A Clockwork Orange. Though the film is called Burlesque and is set in a burlesque club, there's not a lot of actual burlesque involved aside from a toned down fan dance. Nobody gets naked and the outfits stay well within the realm of the PG-13 rating.

Antin also received sole credit for the screenplay, which was worked on at various times by Diablo Cody (Juno), Susannah Grant (Erin Brockovich), and John Patrick Shanley (Moonstruck, which earned Cher an Oscar for Best Actress). The results are a hodgepodge of clichés as we follow the journey of a young waif through the seductive world of Hollywood. It's predictable and chock full of corny lines like, "I held back your hair while you threw up everything, but your memories." There's an earnestness to each scene as everyone takes things deadly serious rather than playing up the obvious camp qualities.

Nobody goes to see a movie like Burlesque for a deeply moving script, they go for the music. Aguilera and Cher are more than capable of carrying the soundtrack with their powerful vocals, but the songs themselves don't feel worthy of their talents. None of them stick in your head or have you humming them on the drive home. The only tune that sticks out is an odd concoction that samples Marilyn Manson's "Beautiful People."

As the lead, Aguilera is never called upon to do anything demanding in terms of acting. She's there to sing, dance, and look good. Don't expect a transformation from Plain Jane, she's glamorous from the beginning and becomes even more glamorous as the film progresses. However, Burlesque utterly belongs to Cher and Stanley Tucci, who steal the movie whenever they're onscreen together.

While your intrepid film critic was unimpressed by the trite Burlesque, some of my fellow audience members were hooting and hollering at the garish spectacle. This one is strictly for fans of Xtina and Cher.

Rating: * ½ (*****)

Easy A

Easy A - Dir. Will Gluck (2010)

Easy A might be the surprise hit of the summer. I wasn't expecting much, but it is several notches above recent teen comedies that favor raunchiness and gross-out gags.

Emma Stone has seen her star rise steadily since debuting in Superbad. She cemented her status as one of the most talented actresses today with roles in The House Bunny and Zombieland. Even in subpar movies like The Rocker and Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, she's able to shine. In Easy A, Stone receives her first starring role as Olive Penderghast, a virtual non-entity attending high school in Ojai, California. To avoid going on a camping trip with her best friend Rhiannon (Alyson Michalka), Olive tells her she's got a date with a boy who goes to community college. The boy doesn't exist and Olive actually spends her weekend at home giving the dog a pedicure and listening incessantly to Natasha Bedingfield's "Pocketful of Sunshine."

Olive's little white lie begins to spiral out of control when Rhiannon jumps to the conclusion that her BFF lost her virginity to this imaginary boyfriend. Olive rolls with it and the news that she busted her cherry is spread all over campus by Marianne (Amanda Bynes), the self-righteous leader of a circle of Christian conservatives. Next, she's approached by Brandon (Cougar Town's Dan Byrd) who is constantly bullied due to his homosexuality. They concoct the plan to fake having sex at a wild party to pass Brandon off as straight. Soon, Olive is trading pretend sexual favors for gift cards in order to bolster the reputations of the school's geeks, losers, and fatties. One gawky kid can only sheepishly offer a coupon to Bed, Bath, and Beyond.

Taking inspiration from The Scarlet Letter, Olive decides to really roll with it by dressing provocatively and embroidering a big red A on her clothing. Before nobody knew she existed, now Olive is turning heads wherever she goes. However, her newfound notoriety isn't all it is cracked up to be considering no guys have bothered to ask her out on real dates.

Easy A doesn't have the bite of the darker edged Heathers. It doesn't have the resonance of the John Hughes films it references multiple times, even if the redheaded Emma Stone reminds one of Molly Ringwald. Still, there is an underlying level of poignancy, especially given the recent spotlight shown on teen suicides. The cruelty seen in Easy A never reaches those same levels, but it comment on the difficulty of adolescence and the damage that can be done by rumor mongering. Aided by text messaging and the internet, gossip spreads like wildfire within seconds. Despite her new status, Olive has no one to confide in. Her best friend turns against her and her parents (Stanley Tucci and Patricia Clarkson) would rather be her pals than her parents. Seeking guidance from the school counselor (Lisa Kudrow), Olive is given a handful of condoms instead along with a curt brush off.

Easy A does ask its audience to make a few leaps of faith. As with the majority of teen movies, the young cast is comprised of 20-something actors who still look too old to be in high school. The point is joked about in Marianne's boyfriend (Cam Gigandet) who has been stuck as a senior for almost four years. It's also hard to believe that Emma Stone could ever be invisible. She's pretty, charming, and almost carries the picture. I say almost because some of the adult actors provide notable performances. Tucci and Clarkson are hilarious as the free-spirited parents, Thomas Haden Church appears in an understated, yet funny turn as an English teacher, and Malcolm McDowell is good as the school's uptight principal.

Rating: ***

Julie & Julia

Julie & Julia - Dir. Nora Ephron (2009)


What’s the old saying? Too many cooks spoil the broth? In the case of Julie & Julia, one too many ingredients have spoiled the main course. Writer/director Nora Ephron (Sleepless in Seattle, You’ve Got Mail) based the parallel stories of her film on two different memoirs, Julie Powell’s Julie & Julia and Julia Child’s My Life in France.

Amy Adams is Julie Powell an aspiring writer who now works at the call center for the Lower Manhattan Development Corporation, the folks in charge of the rebuilding of the World Trade Center. She handles calls that range from the heartbreaking (a woman mourning the death of a loved one) to the asinine (uncouth complaints about the designs). Her job is completely unfulfilling and it doesn’t help that her more successful friends constantly rub her nose in their upper class lifestyles. Why is she friends with them, then? I don’t know. Julie finds a creative outlet when she decides to blog about her attempts to make every recipe in Julia Child’s Mastering the Art of French Cooking.

Meryl Streep is Julia Child, a former OSS clerk transplanted into Paris when her husband, Paul (Stanley Tucci), is assigned to the American embassy. Julia struggles to find something meaningful to do while her husband works. Hat making and bridge won’t cut it. She eventually enrolls in cooking school and, despite objections from the arrogant Madame Brassart (Joan Juliet Buck), becomes an accomplished chef. Julia begins teaching other expatriates the wonders of French cuisine and hopes to edify more by putting together Mastering. She finds the road to publication paved with skepticism as her husband faces the looming specter of McCarthyism.

As much as I love Amy Adams, the Julie Powell storyline make up the weakest sections of the film. It’s all paint-by-numbers or should I say, cooking-by-numbers? Her character is never fully developed enough to the point where we become emotionally involved in her efforts. There’s the predictable collapse under pressure and argument with husband, Eric (Chris Messina). Of course, there’s never any tension about a potential break-up because we know they’ll get back together by the third act.

The Julia Child component of Julie & Julia is written slightly better, but it’s elevated to immense heights by the performance of Meryl Streep. With 15 Oscar nominations (and 2 wins) under her belt, Streep is assured another for 2009. She is complimented by a brief, but memorable, appearance by the ultra-talented Jane Lynch as Julia’s sister, Dorothy. Streep brings the character to life rather than doing a mere imitation. It really makes me wish that they had just done this as a straight Julia Child biopic. As it stands, Julie & Julia spreads itself too thin, leaving both stories underdone.

Rating: **

What Just Happened

What Just Happened? - Dir. Barry Levinson (2008)


Hollywood poking fun at its own self-importance isn´t anything new; they´ve been doing it for decades. Some of my favorite movies about movies include Sullivan´s Travels, The Bad and the Beautiful, Singin´ in the Rain, and The Player. More recently, Ben Stiller took an over-the-top, cartoonish approach to the subject matter with Tropic Thunder. Barry Levinson´s latest film, What Just Happened? follows in the footsteps of Tropic Thunder, but takes a far more grounded approach at ridiculing the behind-the-scenes turmoil of La La Land. What Just Happened? tries to take a bite out of Hollywood too, yet lacks the teeth to do it. It just gums at it instead.

Based on the eponymous autobiography of producer Art Linson (The Untouchables, Heat, Fight Club), What Just Happened? focuses on aging producer Ben (Robert DeNiro) as he juggles his personal and professional lives. Ben has one film in the can, Fiercely starring Sean Penn (in a small role as himself) and directed by British auteur Jeremy Brundell (Michael Wincott). Ben hopes to build a ton of buzz at Cannes, but before that he has to leap the tall hurdle known as the test screening. The screening, with all the principal players in attendance, turns into a disaster. Brundell´s masterpiece ends with the hero, Penn, being shot by the bad guys, right after his lovable dog is shot through the head in a sudden, graphic manner. The audience, unsurprisingly, reacts with anger and disgust.

The studio head, Lou Tarnow (Catherine Keener), demands Ben follow her notes and alter the film accordingly. Brundell doesn´t react to this news very well, throwing a tantrum and bursting into tears. Simultaneously, Ben is producing another project that may never get off the ground because of its temperamental leading man. Ben is called to the set immediately when he learns that his star, Bruce Willis (also playing himself), has arrived sporting a beer belly and a big, bushy beard. The never seen studio executives threaten to shut the production down and sue Ben if their obscenely paid A-list actor doesn´t shave. Willis, on the other hand, threatens Ben with physical violence if he isn´t allowed to express himself artistically. With a beard…

Meanwhile, Ben has to deal with two ex-wives and the kids from each marriage. His teenage daughter, Zoe (Kristen Stewart), from his first wife won´t open up to him. He has an on-off, up-down relationship with his second ex, Kelly (Robin Wright Penn). They still have feelings for each other while attending therapy to complete their split amicably. Ben also suspects Kelly is sleeping with his screenwriter friend, Scott Solomon (Stanley Tucci).

As the stand-in for Linson, DeNiro puts in an understated performance, a different type from the larger-than-life characters he usually plays. He´s not the typical producer either or at least not the stereotypical one. He´s tired and world weary. There´s nothing wrong with DeNiro´s work here, but there´s nothing that really jumps out at you. You can say the same thing about most of the film. It too is understated and a bit underwhelming.

Part of the problem lies with the stakes. Not every movie should be about stopping the terrorists from detonating a nuke, but the protagonist should embark on a journey that allows the audience to connect with the character. Basic screenwriting. However, I never felt emotionally invested with Ben. His movie is savaged by audiences and critics? Big deal. Levinson frames the film around a photo shoot for a cover featuring Hollywood´s power players with Ben worrying about where he´ll be placed. Umm…so what? Ben´s familial situation might have elicited some sympathy were it given time to develop. It seems like a lot of the scenes involving the subplots with Zoe and Solomon were left on the cutting room floor.

The humor falls flat most of the time as well. The majority of the gags are so dry, you wonder if that was supposed to be a joke or not. On the rare occasions the comedy is played more broadly and fails to elicit any chuckles. The always dependable John Turturro plays a talent agent so neurotic that he out-Woody Allens Woody Allen. That would have been good enough, but they threw in a bizarre stomach disorder that causes Turturro to scream and cough in pain at random times. It isn´t funny the first time and repeating it again and again doesn´t make it any funnier.

The only scene in the film that has any kind of life to it is Bruce Willis´s tirade when he´s told to shave his beard. Willis looks like he could have given Jeff Bridges a run for the role of Obadiah Stane in Iron Man. The former John McClane is quite entertaining in the scene that was reportedly based on a real incident involving Alec Baldwin on the set of The Edge.

Levinson is undoubtedly familiar with all sorts of bizarre antics from movie folk having worked in the film industry as an actor, writer, director, and producer. He´s tackled the subject before in the oddly prescient Wag the Dog and, to a lesser extent, with the poorly made Man of the Year. This all-star production falls somewhere in the middle of those last two films. Directors with inflated opinions of their own artistic sensibilities, know-it-all executives who don´t really know anything and egoistical actors aren´t exactly revelations. What Just Happened? doesn´t beat a dead horse so much as jabs it with a pointy stick. Levinson set out to mock Hollywood and, ironically, made a film that fits in with the indistinguishable, milquetoast mass that it churns out.

Rating: * 1/2