Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters - Dir. Tommy Wirkola (2013)


Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters is the latest in a string of revisionist fairytale films following Snow White and the Huntsman and Red Riding Hood. You might even throw in Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, which delved into the secret history of the famed president and his battles against the undead. In Witch Hunters, writer/director Tommy Wirkola reveals what happened to the sibling duo after their childhood run-in with an evil witch and her gingerbread house.

As children (played by Cedric Eich and Alea Sophia Boudodimos), they were left alone in the woods by their father and barely survived their first encounter with a witch. As adults (played by Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton), they earn a living by traveling the countryside, killing witches, and saving abducted children. Hansel and Gretel are called to the town of Augsburg where many kids have been taken by a coven of witches led by the powerful Muriel (Famke Janssen). Muriel intends to use the children for a ritual sacrifice that will grant her wicked sisters immunity against fire.

Wirkola is no stranger to these oddball mash-ups. His previous picture was the horror/comedy, Dead Snow, featuring a group of vacationing teens battling a cadre of zombie Nazis. Here, Wirkola has some fun re-imaging Hansel and Gretel as a leather-clad two-some armed with a variety of steampunk inspired weapons such as machine guns, mechanized crossbows, and an early 19th century version of a stun gun. Witch Hunters pays absolutely no attention to historical accuracy, which leads to dialogue riddled with anachronistic inanities. “Will you shut up?” and “That was awesome,” for example.

Considering the thin story, it’s not surprising that Wirkola originally envisioned the concept as a short film. The majority of the plot consists of the characters wandering the forest and fighting a witch ad nauseum. There’s not much in between other than a half-baked romance for Hansel and a convoluted origin for him and his sister. You’d think the movie would be cleverer with Will Ferrell and Adam McKay listed as producers. Unfortunately, Witch Hunters feels like a Funny or Die short stretched beyond its capabilities. Wirkola does manage to sprinkle in a scant few sparkling ideas including a gag where portraits of missing kids are tied to milk bottles. Hansel also happens to have diabetes as a result of the witch force feeding him sugary treats to fatten him up. He requires regular insulin shots, but that plot point is forgotten for much of the movie until the climax.

The original Grimm fairytales were gruesome cautionary tales. While Witch Hunters never gets that gory, it does earn its R-rating with plenty of cartoonish violence. Witches are regularly beheaded, burned, and sliced to ribbons. The score by Icelandic composer Alti Orvarsson is energetic and reminiscent of the Sherlock Holmes soundtrack by Hans Zimmer, who served as music supervisor.

Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton make the most of their roles, but both actors deserve better. It’s doubly disappointing to see Gretel transforming from kick-ass chick to damsel in distress requiring her brother to rescue her. Famke Janssen doesn’t get much either as the villain since she spends most of the film hidden behind Evil Dead-esque make-up. Peter Stormare appears in a small role as an obstinate sheriff very similar to his part in Terry Gilliam’s The Brothers Grimm.

Just like The Brothers Grimm and Van HelsingHansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters is an oddball concept that is never fully realized. At least, Wirkola tackles his film with a tongue-in-cheek attitude and a brisk runtime.

Rating: ** (*****)

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