A Good Day to Die Hard

A Good Day to Die Hard - Dir. John Moore (2013)

"You know what I hate about Americans? Everything. Especially cowboys."

A brief history about the Die Hard franchise. The first film was based on the 1979 novel, Nothing Lasts Forever, by Roderick Thorp, which was a sequel to his 1966 book, The Detective. That was adapted into a movie starring Frank Sinatra as NYPD Detective Joe Leland. When Sinatra turned down the chance to make the sequel, Nothing Lasts Forever was altered into the standalone project that became Die Hard. Die Hard 2: Die Harder had a similar journey to the big screen as it was based on 58 Minutes, a completely unrelated novel by Walter Wager. Die Hard with a Vengeance and Live Free or Die Hard both began as spec scripts, Simon Says by Jonathan Hensleigh and WW3.com by David Marconi, before extensive rewrites. This makes A Good Day to Die Hard the first picture in the series to be envisioned from the start as a Die Hard movie. Yet, the fifth installment is merely Die Hard in name. It's as if a studio exec fished out an unproduced screenplay from the 80's, dusted it off, and made liberal use of cut and paste to turn it into the latest misadventure of John McClane (Bruce Willis).

This time around, McClane finds himself in Moscow to mend fences with his estranged son, Jack (Jai Courtney). The junior McClane has been arrested for murder and is set to testify in the trial of political prisoner Yuri Komarov (Sebastian Koch). Komarov has incriminating evidence against a powerful government official who inadvertently caused the Chernobyl meltdown by siphoning off radioactive material to sell on the black market. No sooner does McClane arrive at the courthouse then a group of mercenaries trigger an explosion and go in guns blazing. As it turns out, Jack is an undercover CIA agent tasked with ensuring that Komarov lives long enough to finger the bad guy. Now, John and Jack must survive in a foreign land while hounded by relentless Russian killers.

Out of all the Die Hard films, A Good Day to Die Hard is the worst of the bunch. Though they may have bombed at the box office, Bruce Willis's former Planet Hollywood cohorts had far more enjoyable efforts with The Last Stand and Bullet to the Head. At least, Arnold had a very talented director looking to make a foothold in the U.S. (Kim Ji-woon) while Stallone recruited an old school master of action (Walter Hill). The fifth installment of Die Hard has fallen into the hands of the unremarkable John Moore whose credits include Max Payne and the atrocious remake of The Omen. Moore can't be bothered to hold the camera steady for more than a few seconds. A raucous car chase through the crowded streets is reduced to a jumbled mess as the audience never gets the opportunity to revel in the untold destruction reeked by the heroes and villains alike. At least, the chase goes by quickly enough that you don't have the time to think about all the innocent civilians McClane has killed or injured due to his reckless driving. The multitude of uninspired action sequences that follow are strung together by the loosest of narratives.

The script was penned by Skip Woods who has the dubious distinction of also writing Swordfish, Hitman, and X-Men Origins: Wolverine. The story possesses none of the emotional gravitas of the first Die Hard. Even the father-daughter relationship from Live Free or Die Hard was more satisfying than the utterly uninteresting interplay between father and son in Good Day. The dialogue is weak with characters barely uttering more than two sentences at a time. The banter is equally dull and McClane's one-liners don't have the punch as they did in the 80's. The closest thing to wit this movie has is a running joke where McClane berates everyone for ruining his vacation, which doesn't make any sense since he's not on vacation.

Meanwhile, a sleepy-eyed Bruce Willis goes through the motions until he can say, "Yippie-ki-yay," and cash his fat paycheck. The three-dimensional everyman that John McClane was in the original film has given way to a shotgun-toting Wile E. Coyote. The Die Hard series has never been without over-the-top stunts dating back to McClane leaping off an exploding roof with a fire hose tied around his waist. The last picture took it to new heights with McClane going one-on-one with a fighter jet. In Good Day, McClane and son leap from tall buildings and are shredded by gunfire, yet escape with only a few cuts and bruises. McClane literally becomes a cartoon character when the climax sees a CGI Bruce Willis falling in slow motion amidst digital fire and debris before landing safely in a conveniently located pool of water.

Although he was good in Spartacus:Blood and Sand and as Werner Herzog's right-hand man in Jack Reacher, Jai Courtney never makes an impression as Jack McClane. That has more to do with the role being severely underwritten than his acting abilities. He certainly doesn't make you salivate at the prospects of a Die Hard Jr. movie. Sebastian Koch, from the excellent Lives of Others, joins the ranks of Chow Yun-Fat and Michael Nyqvist as an international actor who comes to Hollywood just to play a generic foreign guy in an action movie. Good Day desperately needed an Alan Rickman or Jeremy Irons due to a lack of noteworthy villains.

There is a slight amusement to be found by an unintentional political undercurrent. A Russian baddie mocks the McClanes by stating 1986 is over and Reagan is dead. Ironic because John McClane represented the blue-collar American values of the era. He was masculinity threatened by Japanese big business, feminism, opportunistic media, and ineffectual bureaucrats. His sidekick, Sgt. Al Powell, can only regain his manhood by drawing his revolver and blowing away the big, blonde terrorist. Here, we meet McClane as a solemn and solitary figure at a gun range where a portrait of Obama hangs in the corner. Next, he becomes the ugly American blundering through a situation he doesn't understand in another country with little regard for the collateral damage he causes.

The law of diminishing returns is in full effect. A Good Day to Die Hard is an absolute low point in the franchise history. A few recalls to the first Die Hard only succeed in exposing what a pale imitation unfolds before you. This is a painfully insipid chore that will have you longing for the days of Renny Harlin and Len Wiseman.

Rating: * ½ (*****)