Black Dynamite

Black Dynamite - Dir. Scott Sanders (2009)


Black Dynamite may be two years too late to be a part of Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez’s Grindhouse, but it’d be perfect for a triple feature. This is a pitch perfect homage/parody of the blaxploitation genre with plenty of nods to films like Dolemite, Shaft, and even Enter the Dragon.

Michael Jai White plays the titular Black Dynamite, a martial arts master, Vietnam veteran, former CIA agent, and all-around badass. White also co-wrote the script with director Scott Sanders and co-star Byron Minns who plays the sidekick, Bullhorn. When Black Dynamite learns that his brother, Jimmy (Baron Vaughn), has been murdered, he goes on a mission of revenge. He vows to clean up his neighborhood after meeting Gloria (Salli Richardson who looks the spitting image of Pam Grier), an activist who runs an orphanage whose kids have been strung out on drugs. Black Dynamite teams up with a black militia to take down drug dealers and mobsters. Along the way, they uncover a massive conspiracy to shrink the penises of black men with tainted malt liquor. Black Dynamite’s quest for vengeance takes him to jungles of Kung Fu Island and straight to the White House for a battle to the death with a nunchuck-wielding Richard Nixon (James McManus).

The rest of the supporting cast is filled with characters with colorful names like Tasty Freeze, Creamed Corn, Chocolate Giddy-Up and the Fiendish Dr. Wu.

Black Dynamite gleefully steeps itself in 70’s culture. Black Dynamite was shot in Super 16MM to give it a grainy, washed out look. Sanders intentionally adds in split-screens, jerky zooms, jump cuts, and a wayward boom mic to make the movie even more authentic. The acting is over-the-top with Jai White channeling Jim Kelly and Fred Williamson. The dialogue is similarly outrageous with lines like, ”You can bet your sweet ass and half a tittie…” and ”Your knowledge of scientific, biological transmogrifications is only outmatched by your zest for kung fu treachery.

Black Dynamite may not be as hilarious as I’m Gonna Git You Sucka, but it works on two levels as both a funny parody and a wicked action flick.

Rating: *** ½

Brick

Brick - Dir. Rian Johnson (2005)


Writer/director Rian Johnson had a crazy idea for his first feature. He loved the film noir genre and wanted to do one of his own. But, the elements of the genre are easily recognizable thanks to the stark lighting, dark subject matter, trenchcoats, and sultry women. Just about everything has been done with the noir, so Johnson decides to place his film in a high school setting with teenagers as the characters. It sounds like a silly premise for a parody (Bugsy Malone, anyone?), except Johnson plays it straight and manages to dust off an old staple of cinema and give it a fresh coat of paint.

Brendan (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is the classic loner. He keeps everyone at a distance and eats his lunch behind the Port-A-Johns so that no one will bother him. Brendan's aloof manner belies the love he still carries for his ex-girlfriend, Emily (Emilie de Ravin of Lost fame), who has since fallen in with the wrong crowd. Out of the blue, Brendan gets a call from a distraught and frightened Emily asking for help and babbling about a "brick." They meet, but Emily just tells Brendan to stay away. Two days later, he finds her dead, face down in front of a sewer tunnel.

Brendan takes it upon himself to navigate the various cliques at his school with help from his right-hand man, The Brain (Matt O'Leary), who provides him with info and whatever else might be needed. Brendan's journey brings him on a collision course with an assortment of colorful characters. There's the popular power couple of Brad Bramish (Brian J. White), the football jock, and Laura (Nora Zehetner), the femme fatale. Brad is a total lunkhead, but Laura has her fingers on everyone's pulse and she's anxious to help Brendan. Not so eager to help are Dode (Noah Segen), a stoner who hangs out by the dumpsters near a coffee shop, and Kara (Meagan Good), a snobbish member of the Drama Club.

Digging deeper, Brendan uncovers the identity of The Pin (Lukas Haas), short for "kingpin", a young man responsible for the city's drug trade. Brendan has to step gingerly in his dealings with the crime boss, thanks to The Pin's main muscle, the brutish Tug (Noah Fleiss). If that wasn't bad enough, Brendan has Trueman (Richard Roundtree), the school's assistant vice-principal, breathing down his neck.

Fans of 3rd Rock From the Sun will be surprised at how different Joseph Gordon-Levitt looks and acts in this film. He's a much darker character and brings a lot of strength and maturity to the role. Watching Brendan in action makes you wonder if Sam Spade or Mike Hammer were ever in this thick during their school days. Gordon-Levitt definitely continues to pave the road originally started by actors like Robert Mitchum and Humphrey Bogart. He'll take a few shots to get a good one in and he's got the hard-boiled dialogue down to a tee. Brendan backs off a gang of potheads by warning them, "Throw one at me if you want, hash head. I've got all five senses and I slept last night that puts me six up on the lot of you."

And I hope I don't spoil too much when I say that Zehetner reminds me a lot of Mary Astor in The Maltese Falcon. She gives off the same vibe as the seemingly trustworthy woman latching onto the hero. Both Astor and Zehetner brought serious sexiness to their roles, done in a restrained manner, unlike the more overtly revved-up femme fatales like Rita Hayworth or Lana Turner.

Long-time followers of film noir will get all the influences and references being dropped during Brick. Johnson was a huge fan of the Coen Brothers' Miller's Crossing, which introduced him to the works of Dashiell Hammett since it was based on Hammett's novels, The Glass Key and Red Harvest. You can easily see touches of both of those quintessential detective yarns when Brendan attempts to play the opposing sides against one another.

The high school setting also gives us two surreal moments that would probably never come out of the pens of Hammett, Mickey Spillane, or James M. Cain. A blindfolded Brendan is taken to The Pin's home where he's beaten by Tug and locked in the basement. In the next scene, he's brought up to the kitchen where The Pin's mom fixes him juice and cereal. Later, Brendan comes to at Tug's place where he meets the tough guy's mob, a gaggle of white-trash goons in white t-shirts and blue jeans. It adds a bizarre sensibility to the film, along with a pinch of humor.

Brick isn't billed as "A Film by Rian Johnson", but as "A Detective Movie by Rian Johnson", which it most definitely is. Certainly, you might have to take a leap of faith in order to digest parts of the film. We never see the inside of a classroom once throughout the film. Not to mention, I doubt any high school student would ever in a million years say the word, "yegg." Yet, the story is incredibly rich and just so much fun that I was more than willing to put myself in their hands and just let them take me along for the ride.

Rating: *** 1/2

The Vampire's Assistant

Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant - Dir. Paul Weitz (2009)


It’s been a long standing tradition in Hollywood to copy somebody else’s successes. With the Harry Potter films scoring big box office, studios have been combing through the teen lit genre in search of the next franchise. Twilight has proven to be an enormous cash cow and along with True Blood has cemented the elite status of the vampire in current pop culture. British author Darren Shan’s Darren Shan Saga was probably a producer’s wet dream, being teen lit centered around vampires. Alas, nothing comes together at all in The Vampire’s Assistant and it seems destined to fall to the wayside alongside The Golden Compass.

While Chris Weitz handled the directing duties for Compass and the Twilight sequel, New Moon, brother Paul helms Vampire’s Assistant. The lead character is Darren Shan (Chris Massoglia) and am I only one who finds it oddly self-serving to name the character in the novel after yourself? Anyways, Darren is a straight-laced student with huge expectations hung on him by his parents. His best friend, Steve (Josh Hutcherson), is much more of a delinquent and isn’t well liked by teachers or Darren’s parents. One night, they attend a freak show whose orange-haired ringmaster is the vampire Crepsley (John C. Reilly). How do we know he’s a vampire? Because Steve saw Crepsley’s picture in his vampire book and that about sums up the deep level of thought that went into the plot. Darren is turned into a half-vampire (don’t ask) and is dragged into a centuries-old war between vampires who only sip the blood of their victims without killing them and the murderous Vampanese. Steve joins the dark side and there’s a bunch of stuff about prophecies and a chosen one just like every other film series.

Vampire’s Assistant tries to play around with vampire mythology, but offers absolutely nothing new to distinguish itself. There's a cool title sequence (think Catch Me If You Can by way of Tim Burton) and nothing after that is as visually stimulating. Cast against type, Reilly is one of the few actors in the film to bring something unique to the table. The film’s biggest fault lies with its lead actor, a blunder in miscasting not seen since Jake Lloyd in The Phantom Menace. Massoglia has no screen presence or charisma and an oddly shaped head. No offense, dude. Out of everything in the movie, the most interesting aspect is the supporting cast of freaks that include Salma Hayek as the bearded lady, 30 Rock’s Jane Krakowski as a woman who can eat her own arms and re-grow them, and Flight of the Conchord’s Kristen Schaal as a woman with enormous teeth. I’d be far more entertained in a Geek Love-style film about the actual circus than I would be in a bunch of whiny emo bloodsuckers.

Rating: * 1/2

Zombieland

Zombieland - Dir. Ruben Fleischer (2009)


I don’t think I’ve ever fallen in love with a movie quicker than I have with Zombieland. From the opening prologue to the fantastic opening credits (set to Metallica’s “For Whom the Bell Tolls”), Zombieland is a thrilling blend of action, comedy, and horror that fully takes advantage of pop culture’s current love affair with zombies.

From Adventureland to Zombieland, Jesse Eisenberg does his standard nerdy, Michael Cera-lite act as Columbus who survived the zombie apocalypse because he was a shut-in who avoided human contact. He has developed a set of rules that have helped him avoid becoming zombie food, rules that include good cardio conditioning and always remembering to check the back seat. He meets Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), a gung-ho cowboy who has turned zombie killing into an art form. While Columbus wants to head home to check on his family, Tallahassee is on an eternal hunt for the last box of Twinkies. Along the way, the two of them run into a pair of con artist sisters, Wichita (Emma Stone) and Little Rock (Abigail Breslin), on their way to California. Oh, nobody gives out their real names because it makes it easier to put a bullet in their head when they become zombiefied.

The highlight of Zombieland is a trip to Hollywood where the gang run into a certain celebrity in one of the funniest cameos in recent memory.

Does Zombieland add any new elements to the zombie genre that we haven’t seen before? No, not really, though it does play around with the genre much like Scream did with the slasher flick. Zombieland isn’t about zombies as a metaphor for government corruption, consumerism or sexual diseases, it’s just a fun popcorn film. This is the kind of movie where you can sit back and just be entertained. Woody Harrellson is absolutely perfect as the shit-kicking cowboy and Abigail Breslin definitely puts Little Miss Sunshine to rest. My only quibble with Zombieland would be its brief 88 minute length. Usually I wish that the movie had ten more minutes to devote to fleshing out the characters or beefing up the plot, instead I wish Zombieland had ten more minutes of pure zombie kills.

Rating: *** ½

Where the Wild Things Are

Where the Wild Things Are - Dir. Spike Jonze (2009)


”Let the wild rumpus start!”

Sorry, but Where the Wild Things Are was never a huge part of my childhood. In fact, I only just read it the other day. Honestly, I waited until after I saw the film to check it out from the library. Still, I approached the film adaptation with some trepidation. It’s always difficult to translate these classic children’s books, particularly when they’re only a dozen or so pages long. Filmmakers tend to pad out the film’s length with lowbrow humor and mugging lead actors. Look at what they did to poor Dr. Seuss. Thankfully, Spike Jonze has stayed true to the spirit of Maurice Sendak’s much-beloved book. Jonze’s Where the Wild Things Are is a soulful, intelligent meditation on the difficulties of childhood. It is a refreshing change from the sugar-coated junk food that passes as family entertainment these days.

Max (Max Records) gets crushed within his snow fort by his sister’s friends while she stands by and does nothing. His mother (Catherine Keener) ignores him in order to spend time with her boyfriend (Mark Ruffalo). Max dons his iconic wolf costume and stomps on the kitchen counter, demanding to be fed. His tantrum culminates in Max biting his mother. The boy runs away from home and finds a tiny sailboat which allows him to travel to an island inhabited by the Wild Things each representing a different aspect of Max’s psyche.

The de facto leader of the monsters is Carol (James Gandolfini), the most temperamental of the creatures and quickest to anger. Max and Carol bond quickly over their shared passion of feral destruction. Carol is constantly at odds with K.W. (Lauren Ambrose) who had briefly left to be on her own. There’s the easy-going Ira (Forest Whitaker) and his girlfriend, the somewhat domineering Judith (Catherine O’Hara). The other Wild Things are: Carol’s right hand man, the avian-esque Douglas (Chris Cooper); low self-esteem sufferer Alexander (Paul Dano); and the taciturn and intimidating Bull (Michael Berry Jr.).

Max’s time with the Wild Things is marked with mischief, adventure, and sorrow. The monsters are sensitive, but it’s never forgotten that they could eat Max with no hesitation. The work gone into creating the Wild Things is simply wonderful, suits from the Jim Henson Company enhanced with CGI. This is where the film truly begins and happens. The opening act is a nice touch, but it isn’t as if it were necessarily to inform the audience of the difficulties of growing up. The indie hipster soundtrack by Jonze’s then-girlfriend Karen O tends to become an ill-fitting distraction at times. In the end, Jonze’s offbeat sensibilities have crafted a film that can speak to the heart of anyone, regardless of age. Where the Wild Things Are never speaks down to the audience and portrays children as the complex creatures they are.

Rating: ***

Surrogates

Surrogates - Dir. Jonathan Mostow (2009)


Much like Whiteout, Surrogates is a comic book movie that fails to live up to its intriguing premise. The sci-fi flick takes the idea of internet avatars one step further by introducing the idea of actual avatars.

Mankind no longer bothers to leave their front door with the invention of robotic surrogates that can be controlled telepathically. The surrogates can be designed to look any way you want them to, any age, race, or even sex. Crime is now a thing of the past, until someone commits the first murder in years. The killer has a high-tech device that can fry the user’s brain through their surrogate. FBI Agent Tom Greer (Bruce Willis) is assigned to investigate along with his partner, Jennifer Peters (Radha Mitchell). The case grows in importance when one of the victims turns out to be the son of the inventor of surrogacy, Dr. Lionel Carter (James Cromwell playing almost the exact same role he did in I, Robot). Dr. Carter has grown disillusioned with the rampancy of his inventions and has chosen to be even more isolated than everyone else. There are also a group of humans called Dreads who despise surrogates and everything they represent. The Dreads live on their own surrogate-free reservation under the leadership of the militant Prophet (Ving Rhames).

When Greer’s surrogate is damaged, he must learn to venture into a world he hasn’t interacted with in a long time. Just as he hasn’t interacted with his own wife, Maggie (Rosamund Pike), despite the fact that she lives right across the hall from him. She has grown more and more reliant on her surrogate since the death of their son.

As with most science fiction films in recent memory, Surrogates dumbs down its central concept in favor of slick set pieces. No needs to think when you can watch stuff get blown up. The action sequences aren’t spectacular enough to set themselves apart from any other mediocre action flick being churned out today. The screen presence of Bruce Willis is really the only thing that grounds the picture.

Rating: **

Whiteout

Whiteout - Dir. Dominic Sena (2009)


2008 was a tremendous year for comic book movies thanks to runaway hits like Iron Man and The Dark Knight. They were joined by Hellboy II: The Golden Army and Wanted. That definitely made summer a happy time for fanboys even if the year ended on a sour note because of the box office bombs that were Punisher: War Zone and The Spirit. 2010 should be another big year with Iron Man 2, Kick-Ass, and Scott Pilgrim vs. The World looming. It seems 2009 is the largely ignored middle child. Watchmen kicked things off in March while X-Men Origins: Wolverine opened the summer blockbuster season to big bucks and negative reviews. The next two comic book films, however, weren’t based on superheroes.

Whiteout is based on a graphic novel by crime novelist Greg Rucka with art by Steve Lieber and published by Oni Press. Rucka is one of DC Comics’ top writers and his other creator-owned series, Queen & Country is also in development. The film version of Whiteout takes a fantastic concept and tells it in the most predictable and pedestrian way possible.

Kate Beckinsale plays Carrie Stetko, a United States Marshal assigned to McMurdo Research Station in Antarctica. Stetko is haunted by her last case when she was betrayed by her partner and nearly killed. She takes the position in Antarctica to escape and deal with cases no more serious than missing equipment. Everything changes when the first murder in Antarctica occurs. A body is found out in the ice and Stetko must unravel the mystery as bodies pile up and a masked killer armed with a pick-axe runs loose. She is assisted by Robert Pryce (Gabriel Macht), a U.N. investigator; Delfy (Columbus Short), a young pilot; and friend Dr. John Fury (Tom Skerritt). The film’s ticking clock comes from the fact that the station’s crew is preparing to return home before a violent snowstorm hits the area making flights completely impossible.

Whiteout took a long, hard road through development hell to get to the big screen. It was originally optioned back in 1999 by Columbia then passed to Universal where Reese Witherspoon was attached to star and produce until departing. Whiteout finally went into production in 2007, but sat on the shelf until this past September where it was quickly forgotten. You’d think somewhere along the line, somebody would have done an extensive re-write on the script. The film plays out like a leftover episode of one of the many police procedurals that clog television airwaves. CSI: Antarctica, so to speak. The film opens with a prologue that gives away a major second act revelation. The rest of the picture is similarly lacking in mystery. The characters may be snow blind, but the audience can see everything coming a mile away.

Rating: **

9

9 - Dir. Shane Acker (2009)


9 was originally produced as a short film by writer/director Shane Acker while he was a student at UCLA. Acker earned himself an Oscar nomination in 2005 for Best Animated Short Film, quite the accomplishment. I’ve seen my share of student films and none of them come close to earning any sort of award. I should know, I’ve unleashed a few abominations to the horror of the miniscule audiences who could be bothered to see them. Anyways, Acker developed 9 into a feature-length film along with co-writer Pamela Pettler (The Corpse Bride) and filmmakers Tim Burton and Timur Bekmambetov attached as producers.

As with many sci-fi films, the machines have revolted and wiped mankind off the face of the Earth. The only life left in the world is a small group of dolls, mechanical parts wrapped in burlap. They have no names, just numbers. The movie opens with the awakening of 9 (Elijah Wood) who wanders into the wasteland and meets the eccentric inventor 2 (Martin Landau). From there, 9 stumbles from one plot contrivance after another. 2 is captured by a mechanical monstrosity called the Beast. 9 is rescued by 2’s protégé, 5 (John C. Reilly), and eventually meets 1 (Christopher Plummer) their narrow-minded leader who is always protected by the massive 8. There’s also 7 (Jennifer Connelly), the Smurfette of the group. You know, the only one that is inexplicably female. She has left the fold to hunt down the Beast on her own.

9, 5 and 7 set out to rescue 2. 9 gets 2 killed and unleashes something worse, the machine that began the war against humanity. It creates other machines from scavenged junkyard parts to hunt down the protagonists.

The animation is simply gorgeous and suitably dark for something with Tim Burton’s name on it. Acker doesn’t go for the usual Mad Max post-apocalyptic landscape, instead he paints the world in the fashion of a bombed-out WWII Europe, the government eerily reminiscent of the Third Reich. Visually, 9 packs a powerful punch, but the story fails to follow suit. The plot is just too derivative of films like The Matrix and any other sci-fi where machines rebel against humanity. It fails to connect on an emotional level the way Pixar routinely seems to do.

9 isn’t the run-of-the-mill CG animated film that Hollywood peddles to family audiences like junk food. Rated PG-13, it’s a dark and somber picture. The animation is worth seeing alone even, but the story doesn’t stack up in comparison to a film like Wall-E.

Rating: **

A Serious Man

A Serious Man - Dir. Joel & Ethan Cohen (2009)


Joel and Ethan Coen grew up in suburban Minneapolis as the sons of academics. So it is that the Coen Brothers took inspiration from their own pasts to create A Serious Man. Much like O Brother, Where Art Thou? was inspired by Homer’s The Odyssey, Serious Man was likely inspired by The Book of Job.

The film opens with a strange prologue set in the 1800’s where a Jewish-Polish couple encounter a rabbi who the wife believes is a dybbuk, a spirit highjacking the body of a deceased individual. She believes they have been cursed and it appears that curse manifests utterly in the life of one man in 1967. Stage actor Michael Stuhlbarg plays Larry Gopnik, a Physics professor who has always tried to do the right thing and act as a good man, a “mensch,” if you will. So why is it that everything suddenly seems to go wrong in his life? His wife, Judith (Sari Lennick) asks for a divorce in order to marry her lover, Sy Ableman (Fred Melamed). Ableman is an unctuous man who acts like Larry’s best friend while he steals his wife and boots him out of his own home.

Larry’s kids are selfish and self-involved. His daughter, Sarah (Jessica McManus), spends all her day washing her hair and stealing money from her parents in order to pay for a nose job. His son, Danny (Aaron Wolff), pays no attention in class instead listening to Jefferson Airplane on his transistor radio (the iPod of its time). While his dad deals with a painful divorce, Danny bugs him about being unable to get good reception for F-Troop. He attends his bar mitzvah completely stoned. Larry’s quest for tenure is endangered by anonymous letters slandering his integrity even as a South Korean exchange student simultaneously bribes and blackmails him over a bad grade. Larry’s shiftless brother, Arthur (Richard Kind), crashes on his couch and hogs the bathroom in order to drain a cyst on the back of his neck. Larry’s neighbor, Mr. Brandt (Peter Breitmayer) is a hunting aficionado who is encroaching on Larry’s property in order to build a tool shed. Brandt appears to have no love for Jews though he does have Larry’s back when confronted by the student’s father. Most likely he cares for Asians even less. Larry is also receiving incessant calls from the Columbia Record Club demanding payment for a subscription he has no clue about. He’s got doctor’s appointments, legal fees piling up, and a nude sunbathing neighbor tempting him off the righteous path.

Poor Larry is mostly a reactive individual. He hardly ever initiates action and avoids conflict whenever he can. He’s such a passive viewer of his own life; he may as well be sitting in the audience with us. It’s no coincidence that Larry’s wife left him for a fellow named Ableman.

All these problems lead to Larry questioning God’s purpose for him. His attempts to consult a series of Rabbis yield nothing. The first (Simon Helberg) asks him to admire the beauty of a parking lot, but poor Larry can only see desolation. The second (George Wyner) tells him a long story about a dentist who finds a message from God in the teeth of a patient. The story (like the film) has no ending. The third and most prolific, Rabbi Marshak (Alan Mandell), can’t even be bothered with him.

As the gods of Larry’s world, the Coens seem to delight in tormenting their hapless creation. They pile it on and on to the point where we can’t help but feel pity for Larry Gopnik just as we laugh at his misery. The Coens’ flair for irony and dark humor is fully on display. The film’s dialogue is written with deft precision. There’s incredible wit and multiple layers behind every word. The Coens have also utilized a cast of unknowns rather than their usual troop of actors making it easier for us to buy these people AS people and not just actors in roles.

A Serious Man is the Coen Brothers’ most idiosyncratic film since Barton Fink. It is likely to be their most polarizing as well. Serious Man combines the bleak isolation of No Country For Old Men with the oddball humor of Fargo. If you thought the ambiguous ending of the former was aggravating, the non-ending to Serious Man might have you demanding a refund from your local theater. However, in real life there are no easy, pat answers. Everything isn’t wrapped up in a neat, little bow and neither is A Serious Man.

Rating: ***