Piranha 3D

Piranha 3D - Dir. Alexandre Aja (2010)


Piranha 3D is one of the stupidest movies I have ever seen. It’s ridiculous, crude, and completely lacking in any redeeming values. I loved it.

The original Piranha was produced by schlock-master Roger Corman whose New World Pictures pumped out dozens of cult classics like Death Race 2000, Rock ‘n Roll High School, and Slumber Party Massacre. Released in 1978, Piranha was both a rip-off and a parody of Jaws and featured the first credited work from filmmakers Joe Dante (Gremlins, The Howling) and John Sayles (Lone Star). An unrelated sequel, Piranha II: The Spawning, was released three years later and is only notable for being the first film directed by James Cameron.

The first Piranha was a pure B-movie through and through and so is the remake. Piranha 3D opens with a quickie cameo by Richard Dreyfuss as he reprises his role as Matt Hooper from Jaws. The scene pretty much sets the tone for the rest of the movie. Spring break is upon us and the small town of Lake Victoria (a fictionalized version of Lake Havasu where the film was actually shot) is preparing for the worst. The picturesque spot is invaded by a ravenous swarm of creatures straight out of your nightmares. I’m speaking of drunken college kids. Douchebag frat boys and slutty sorority sisters are everywhere and it is up to Elisabeth Shue and Ving Rhames to keep the peace. Shue plays Julie Forester, the town’s tough sheriff and a single mom with Rhames as the hard-assed Deputy Fallon.

Julie’s son, Jake (Steven R. McQueen, grandson of THE Steve McQueen), is a nice kid with an unrequited crush on the virtuous Kelly (Jessica Szohr) who would rather hang out with her jerkass jock boyfriend. He’s supposed to be babysitting his younger siblings, but takes a job as tour guide for the utterly obnoxious Derrick Jones (Jerry O’Connell) who is there to shoot Girls Gone Wild-style videos. Of course, the two blonde-haired moppets wander off and wind up stranded on a rock in the middle of the lake.

An earthquake opens up a fissure underwater that releases a host of hungry prehistoric piranha into the lake. The townsfolk and vacationers have no clue until it is too late.

Much like its progenitor, Piranha 3D is absolutely a B-movie and has everything you expect from a B-movie. I’m speaking of blood and boobs. The spring break bacchanalia is in full swing as buxom bikini-clad babes pull off their tops and let their ample assets loose. In a shamelessly gratuitous sequence, voluptuous cover girl Kelly Brook and porn star Riley Steele (I swear I only know that because of Google) perform a fully nude underwater ballet to “The Flower Duet” from the French opera, Lakmé.

When the piranhas finally chow down, it turns into a Grand Guignol. The lake turns red as it is awash with copious amounts of blood. The death scenes come quick with each one as gruesome as the next. Director Alexandre Aja is no stranger to gore having also helmed High Tension and the remake of Wes Craven’s The Hills Have Eyes. Bodies are literally consumed to the bone. A topless parasailer is lifted out of the water after her legs have been eaten away to gnarled stumps. Another girl gets her hair caught in a propeller leading to her scalp and face ripped off. Eli Roth makes a brief cameo as the sleazy emcee of a wet t-shirt contest and meets with an appropriately violent death. When Aja surveys the carnage, the lake is littered with carcasses in a visual reference to Saving Private Ryan.

The film stays firmly within genre conventions as the wholesome heroes survive with their limbs intact. The hedonistic hordes indulging in sex, drugs, and alcohol meet their ends at the sharp teeth of carnivorous fish. Despite warnings from the local constabulary, they continue their drunken revelry and pay the price for their stupidity.

Piranha was shot in 2D and converted to 3D in post-production. It certainly looks better than other converted movies like Clash of the Titans and Last Airbender. Most of the underwater scenes are dark and murky and the glasses make them even more dark and murky. The CG piranhas are also pretty crappy looking. On the positive side, Aja indulges in the gimmickry of 3D. Bare breasts and projective vomit fly at the screen.

As for the acting, nobody tries too hard, but they don’t need to. The supporting cast is made mostly of unknowns and porn stars with the lead actors carrying the weight. O’Connell is hilarious as the excessively sleazy peddler of softcore porn. His character and his manhood meet with justifiably violent ends. Adam Scott is cast against type as a heroic scientist while Christopher Lloyd is in full on Doc Brown mode as a crazy eyed fish expert. Oh, and Elisabeth Shue is way hot.

Piranha 3D is pure lowbrow exploitation cinema. However, it has no pretensions of being anything more.

Rating: ***

Crazy Heart

Crazy Heart - Dir. Scott Cooper (2009)


”I’m Bad Blake. My tombstone will have my real name on it, until then I’m just gonna stay Bad.”

The joke has always been that good country music is always about getting drunk or getting divorced. For country crooner Bad Blake (Jeff Bridges), he’s pretty much lived his life as a prototypical country tune. He’s always got a bottle of booze in his hand, a line of ex-wives, and nothing in his bank account. He wears a cowboy hat and faded jeans with the belt buckle loosened to let his belly hang out. Blake used to be a big deal, but now he’s relegated to playing dive bars and bowling alleys. Thankfully, no nihilists come looking for their money.

So Blake crisscrosses the roads in his pick ‘em up truck alone. Poetically, he and the truck are a lot alike: old, beat-up, and worn down with a lot of mileage. While Bad Blake seems destined to fade away into obscurity, his one-time protégé Tommy Sweet (an uncredited Colin Farrell) has risen in fame. He finds solace in the arms of a small-time journalist and single mom, Jean Craddock (Maggie Gyllenhaal). Blake falls in love with her and bonds with her 4-year old son, Buddy (Jack Nation), receiving a new lease on life.

Actor Scott Cooper makes his debut as writer/director in this adaptation of a 1987 novel by Thomas Cobb. The story is an overly familiar one and Crazy Heart certainly feels like The Wrestler with music instead of wrestling. What makes the film succeed is the mere presence of Jeff Bridges who netted an Oscar for his performance. His Bad Blake is Merle Haggard, Hank Williams Sr., and Kris Kristofferson all rolled into one, yet he’s also undoubtedly Jeff Bridges. There’s an easygoing charm to him that makes Blake so instantly likeable, it’s hard to hate him even when he’s being a drunken screw-up. As grizzled as Bridges is, he’s out-grizzled by Robert Duvall, master of the grizzled, in a role not to far removed from Mac Sledge in Tender Mercies. Surprisingly, Irishman Colin Farrell makes a convincing

In addition to the excellent cast, the film is elevated by a fantastic soundtrack featuring original songs by the late-Stephen Bruton and T-Bone Burnett, who also contributed to the soundtrack of O Brother, Where Art Thou? Bridges and Farrell croon several great tracks like “I Don’t Know” and “Fallin’ & Flyin’,” while Ryan Bingham sings the movie’s theme song, “The Weary Kind.”

Rating: ***

City Island

City Island - Dir. Raymond De Felitta (2010)


City Island takes its name from a small seaside community that is an offshoot of the Bronx. Overlooking Long Island Sound, City Island is the home to many fishermen and seafood restaurants. Those who live on City Island and were physically born on said island are known as “clam diggers,” while transplants are known as “mussel suckers.”

The film, City Island centers on one such clam digger in Vince Rizzo (Andy Garcia), who still occupies the same house built by his grandfather. Vince is the patriarch to a boisterous Italian-American family, the kind that snaps at each other during their pasta dinner. Though he works as a corrections officer, he grew up admiring Marlon Brando and has always held aspirations of becoming an actor. He hides in the bathroom so nobody knows he smokes and reads, An Actor Prepares. It is only recently that he has enrolled in acting classes held by an embittered instructor (Alan Arkin). Vince befriends a fellow student in Molly Charlesworth (Emily Mortimer) who convinces him to go to his first ever audition.

However, Vince hasn’t told anyone about all this. Proud and prideful, Vince feels just a little ashamed of indulging in something so antithetical of his blue-collar background. He makes up a flimsy excuse about going to a weekly poker game. His wife, Joyce (Julianna Margulies), sees through his ruse, but mistakenly believes he is having an affair. Clandestine acting courses are the least of Vince’s secrets.

On duty, Vince meets a new prisoner named Tony (Steven Strait), who turns out to actually be his illegitimate son from a previous relationship, a fact that the elder Rizzo keeps to himself. Vince takes responsibility for the troubled young man and gets him released into his care. Joyce takes issue with Vince bringing a convict into their home. Combined with her suspicions of adultery, she begins growing closer to the scruffy hunk.

Mr. and Mrs. Rizzo aren’t the only ones keeping secrets from the family. Their daughter, Vivian (played by Garcia’s real-life daughter Dominik Garcia-Lorido), had her scholarship revoked and is now working as a stripper to pay tuition. Son, Vince Jr. (Ezra Miller), has a strange fetish for watching overweight women cook and eat.

City Island is a comedy of errors and something of a restrained farce. Misunderstandings pile on top of misunderstandings until everything comes to a head in the climax. Secrets are spilled and heartfelt confessions are made as the characters embrace. There’s a definite sitcom feel to the plot. It’s doubtful that I need to issue a spoiler warning when I say lessons are learned and all the subplots are tied up with a neat, little bow. The story relies mainly on contrivances and simple coincidence to advance the narrative.

The film is lifted from its conventional trappings by the bucolic setting of City Island and the strong performances of its cast. Andy Garcia gets a rare chance to stretch his comedic muscles as the working class Vince. He gets a chance to lampoon the tough guy roles he’s known for. Julianna Marguiles (who has recently made a full-time return to acting on CBS’s The Good Wife) plays the no-nonsense matriarch and has some great scenes with Garcia. Alan Arkin brings the same curmudgeon charm from Little Miss Sunshine for his brief scenes here. Emily Mortimer adds a sweet-natured layer to her character. Her interactions with Vince convey a genuine friendship with a very subtle level of attraction that remains unrequited.

Only Vince Jr. remains a question mark though it is through no fault of Ezra Miller. As the awkward teenage son, he’s far too broadly drawn to truly be interesting.

City Island was directed by Raymond De Felitta and based off a script he originally wrote back in 2001. The film won the Audience Award at the Tribeca Film Festival in 2009. It’s easy to see why. City Island is a light and breezy comedy about the craziness that comes with family.

Rating: **

Get Him to the Greek

Get Him to the Greek - Dir. Nicholas Stoller (2010)


Pushed out by the Judd Apatow comedy factory, Forgetting Sarah Marshall was a nice shot in the arm to the staid romantic comedy genre. The movie will likely be remembered for Jason Segel’s full-frontal and a scene stealing performance from Russell Brand as the hedonistic rock star Aldous Snow.

Nicholas Stoller, who directed Marshall from a script by Segel, takes over writing duties for the spin-off film, Get Him to the Greek. Brand returns, reteaming with Jonah Hill who plays a different character this time around.

Aldous Snow has settled down since last we saw him. After a stint in rehab, he’s married pop singer, Jackie Q (Rose Byrne), and plays attentive father to their son, Naples (Lino Facioli). However, Snow relapses following the utter failure of his latest album (the hilariously pandering “African Child”) and the dissolution of his marriage.

Back in L.A., Aaron Green (Jonah Hill), a low-level talent scout for Pinnacle Records, hopes to impress his boss, Sergio (Sean “Puff Daddy” Combs). He pitches the idea for Snow to perform a live concert at the Greek Theater and wins up having to act as the petulant superstar’s glorified babysitter. Traveling from London to Hollywood, Green gets a first-hand look at the rock ‘n roll lifestyle of sex, drugs, and even more drugs.

Much like its progenitor, Get Him to the Greek examines relationships with just a touch of raunchiness. For Snow, it’s his crumbling marriage and his relationship to his father (Colm Meaney), a lounge act in Vegas. Green ties to hold it together with his workaholic med student girlfriend, Daphne (Elisabeth Moss). When Stoller doesn’t lay it on too thick, the personal elements feel genuine. Yet, the film sputters towards the end when it becomes a little too sentimental.

The comedy is mined from the usual odd couple situations. Greek is like a road movie crossed with The Hangover in dealing with the mischief that overgrown man-children get into. Hill plays off Brand well as the overwhelmed straight man and Sean “P. Diddy” Combs gives a surprisingly funny performance as the overbearing boss. The soundtrack is catchy and the film features plenty of cameos from celebs like, Christina Aguilera, Meredith Vieira, and Kristen Bell reprising her role as Sarah Marshall.

Rating: ** ½

Serenity

Serenity - Dir. Joss Whedon (2005)


”Come a day there won't be room for naughty men like us to slip about at all.”

With Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Joss Whedon turned a failed movie into a successful television series and a multimedia franchise. Buffy spawned a hit spin-off in Angel, along with countless action figures, games, and comic books. Whedon could go the opposite route by turning his space western series Firefly (which lasted less than a season on the air) into a feature film. Dubbing themselves "Browncoats," the fans of Firefly spoke out loud and clear that they wanted more and DVD sales of the show led to Universal greenlighting Serenity. The results were not quite as successful as Buffy. Not from a lack of trying and it’s certainly not, by any means, a comment on the film’s quality. Firefly and Serenity received a lot of positive reviews from critics, even if they didn’t draw in the ratings or box office. For me, Serenity was one of the most fun cinematic experiences I had in 2005, but the movie narrowly missed making back its $39 million production budget in worldwide grosses.

It is 500 years in the future and humanity has migrated into deep space after exhausting the resources of their native Earth. The majority of the planets are under the rule of the Alliance while many of the worlds in the outer rims formed the Independents to fight against their authority. Short and sweet, they didn’t win. While this may be the future and people fly around in spaceships, this isn’t Star Trek There iss still poverty and crime, especially in the colonies out in the boondocks. Aboard the spaceship Serenity, Captain Malcolm Reynolds (Nathan Fillion), a veteran in the war for independence, ekes out a living through smuggling and robbery. His crew includes; Zoe (Gina Torres), Mal’s right-hand woman who has served with him since the war; Jayne (Adam Baldwin), a not-too-bright mercenary who loves grenades and big guns; Wash (Alan Tudyk), the ship’s pilot and Zoe’s husband; Kaylee (Jewel Staite), the ship’s engineer with a cute and bubbly personality; Simon Tam (Sean Maher), ship’s doctor and a fugitive from the Alliance along with his sister, River (Summer Glau), who was experimented on by the Alliance and left with a fractured mind. The full range of her abilities hasn’t been explored yet, but she is known to have telepathic powers and extraordinary fighting skills. In between the film and the TV show, two members of the ship left to pursue their own paths. Inara (Morena Baccarin), a beautiful Companion (courtesan) for the privileged, left to train and teach other Companions. Shepherd Book (Ron Glass), a preacher with a mysterious past, now tends to a different flock on the planet of Haven.

Attempting to make their way through the fringes of the galaxy, Mal and crew rob an Alliance payroll. Before they can finish loading the jackpot, the city is swarmed by Reavers, primal, cannibalistic savages that were once men. Against Simon’s wishes, Mal took River along to utilize her powers to sense danger beforehand. Incensed, Simon decides to take his sister and leave Serenity for good. His departure doesn’t last very long as the Alliance is dead set on retrieving River. They’ve dispatched one of their top agents, The Operative (Chiwetel Ejiofor), to go after Mal and anybody who’s ever had contact with him. Apparently, River has a deep, dark secret hidden somewhere in her mind that could undermine the Alliance’s control. The only clue that Mal has to go on to save everyone he cares about is the name, Miranda.

Being a continuation of a TV series, the main question for Serenity is, will people who’ve never watched the show be able to dive right in? I can’t say for sure. There’s a rich history to the universe that Whedon has created, but it’s not really necessary information. This is about the little guy standing up to the big guy. Whedon does a splendid job kicking off the movie with a bang while getting in important exposition. The film starts with a young River attending class. This is actually a memory as we cut to scientists experimenting on River. Simon breaks her out of the facility, but this is revealed to be a holographic recording being watched by the Operative. Whedon keeps the audience on their toes as he feeds them information without relying on pedestrian methods like flashbacks or intertitles. In one of the film’s best scenes, Whedon uses a single continuous shot that takes us through the ship and introduces us to each of the main protagonists. Right away, we get the gist of who they are and what they’re like. It all might be a bit disorienting for non-fans and they might not grasp some of the nuances of their relationships.

Unlike Star Trek, the universe of Serenity isn’t a pristine and sterile place where Replicators can magically give you whatever you want. It’s dirty and grimy and nothing works when you want it to. There is a definite inspiration taken from Star Wars and, specifically, Han Solo and the Millennium Falcon. Like the Falcon, stuff on Serenity breaks all the time and pieces fall off frequently. Malcolm is certainly the kind of swashbuckling scoundrel that Solo was in the original, non-special edition film. I’m talking about the Solo that shot Greedo first before he could shoot him. In fact, Mal has no qualms about shooting an unprepared and unarmed Operative.

As Malcolm Reynolds, Nathan Fillion displays an easy-going charm and a quick wit that makes him a fantastic leading man. But, the hero is only as good as his villain and in the case of Malcolm Reynolds, he has an amazing villain. The Operative isn’t your standard baddie who twirls his mustache and makes overly dramatic gestures. He hardly ever raises his voice either. He’s cold, calculating, and foremost, a complete fanatic. He feels justified in murdering women and children. That this will actually bring about a better world. Yet, he has no delusions about the horror he inflicts and takes no pleasure in it. The Operative is one of the most multi-faceted antagonists I’ve ever seen in a movie and Chiwetel Ejiofor gives a wonderful performance. With films like Serenity, Four Brothers, and Children of Men under his belt, he’s definitely an actor to watch out for. I’d also like to make special mention of Jewel Staite who is absolutely adorable in this film and lights up the screen with her smile, even when she’s covered in engine grease. Staite perfectly embodies the sweet-natured Kaylee.

Thanks to Fox’s erratic scheduling, I only caught two episodes of Firefly during its brief run. It wasn’t until I bought the DVDs that I was able to enjoy the show and I anxiously anticipated their jump to feature film. Serenity is an exceptionally fun film that’s jam-packed with a little bit of everything. Action, adventure, comedy, drama, eye-popping battles in space, it’s all there. George Lucas could learn a thing or two (or three or four) from watching this film. Serenity is the kind of Star Wars movie the prequels should have been. Whedon places the focus where it rightly should be, on the characters, not the special effects. Whedon specializes in creating an ensemble of memorable characters and their relationships with one another. He backs that up with sharp, original dialogue.

Rating: ****

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World - Dir. Edgar Wright (2010)


I’ve liked you for a thousand years, a thousand years.
I’ve liked you for a thousand years, a thousand years.
- “Scott Pilgrim” by Plumtree

Hollywood loves scouring the comic book and video game worlds for hot properties to turn into films. Usually these adaptations involve translating the fantastical elements of the source material into a real world setting. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World doesn’t even attempt to tone down the craziness. The result is a hyper-stylized picture that is one of the most visually dynamic films in recent memory.

Scott Pilgrim was originally created by Toronto-based artist Bryan O’Malley as a six volume series of graphic novels. O’Malley combined autobiographical elements with his love of manga, video games, and indie rock music. The comics were filled with pop culture references wrapped within pop culture references. Who better to adapt the books than Edgar Wright the filmmaker who has embraced geek culture with Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, and the similarly themed TV show, Spaced.

The eponymous Scott Pilgrim is played by Michael Cera, an unlikely lead for such an action-packed movie. Like most of Cera’s characters, Scott is an awkward, stammering slacker. He has no job and plays bass in a three-piece garage band called Sex Bob-Omb. Pilgrim isn’t as hip as he makes himself out to be. He doesn’t own a cell phone, still uses AOL to check his email, and honestly believes people are impressed by his knowledge of obscure Pac-Man trivia. He’s a self-centered boy raised on a steady diet of Nintendo and pop culture detritus. As such, Scott casts himself as the hero in his own little world. He seems to treat girls as prizes to be won after completing various levels of his life. Nearly everything he does is a huge production. Even when he goes to the bathroom an energy bar appears to indicate when he’s finished.

Scott is still reeling from a bad breakup with former girlfriend, Envy Adams (Brie Larson), who has gone on to become the famous lead singer for The Clash at Demonhead, named after an old NES game. On the rebound, Scott is dating Knives Chau (Ellen Wong), an overly exuberant and charmingly naïve schoolgirl. But, poor Knives is kicked to the curb when Scott falls madly in love with Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead). The alternative dream girl, Ramona has bright magenta hair and zips along on roller skates through a convenient subspace portal inside Scott’s head.

Before the romance can even begin, Scott finds himself under assault from The League of Evil Exes, Ramona’s former flames who have banded together to snuff out any chance of happiness for the young couple. The first Evil Ex is Matthew Patel (Satya Bhabha), an angry Emo clad in military surplus chic who summons a horde of demon hipster chicks for a Bollywood dance number. The remaining Evil Exes include: Lucas Lee (Chris Evans), pro skateboarder turned movie star; Todd Ingram (Brandon Routh), a bassist who has gained psychic powers due to his strict vegan diet; Roxy Richter (Mae Whitman) who dated Ramona during her brief bi-curious “sexy phase;” and the electronica playing DJs the Katayanagi Twins (Shota & Keita Saito). As you’d expect from any good game, each showdown becomes progressively more difficult until they confront the mastermind behind this guild of jilted lovers is record producer Gideon Graves (Jason Schwartzman).

Not since Ang Lee’s Hulk has there been a film that has managed to cinematically capture the comic book experience like Scott Pilgrim. Wright utilizes techniques such as split-screens and varying aspect ratios to energize his scenes. Flashbacks are told in panels with artwork by O’Malley. Adding to the cartoonish atmosphere are sound effect bubbles and little doodles that remind you of the things a junior high schooler would sketch in his notebook. Scott Pilgrim is also heavy in video game tropes. Wright sets you up immediately with an 8-bit version of the studio logo complete with a MIDI of the Universal theme. Vanquished enemies burst into coins and combatants charge each other until the background blurs into anime-style speed lines. Wright also samples sound effects from games such as The Legend of Zelda, Sonic the Hedgehog, and Street Fighter Alpha 3, among others. But, you don’t need to be a hardcore gamer to enjoy the movie. Less talented directors will use visual trickery with no true purpose, sometimes to cover up their own deficiencies. In contrast, the visuals of Scott Pilgrim are always in service to the story and help to build the unique world. If the Jets and the Sharks can engage in elaborately choreographed dance numbers before battle, surely Scott Pilgrim can pull a flaming sword from his chest.

The gaming symbolism provides a sense of nerd wish fulfillment. Haven’t we all wished we could get a do-over or wanted to believe a girl dumped you because she was being mind-controlled by a computer chip?

Just as the film is a scrumptious feast for the eyes, the soundtrack is an aural treat for the ears. Music was a huge component of the original comics so much so that O’Malley provided a recommended playlist for each volume. Likewise, music has been a vital part of Wright’s films. Need anyone be reminded of the zombie beatdown set to Queen’s “Don’t Stop Now” from Shaun of the Dead?

The score for Scott Pilgrim was largely composed by record producer Nigel Godrich who has worked with acts such as U2, Paul McCartney, and Radiohead. The music of Sex Bob-Omb is provided by Beck who gives them a fuzzy, distortion-laden sound befitting of a slapdash garage band. The character of Envy Adams was inspired by Emily Haines, lead singer of the Toronto band, Metric, who double for Clash at Demonhead. Wright also throws in some clever musical cues that include “Anthems for a Seventeen Year Old Girl” by Broken Social Scene for Knives Chau and The Rolling Stones’ “Under My Thumb” for Gideon Graves.

Michael Cera doesn’t depart too far from his dweeb-ish on-screen persona. He’s not the versatile actor, but he fits seamlessly into the role. As Scott Pilgrim, he must overcome his own innate inertia to defeat the League. Wright superbly casts the supporting players with a wealth of talented young actors. Schwartzman is the perfect actor to convey the hipster smarminess of Gideon Graves. However, it is Chris Evans and Brandon Routh, neither strangers to comic book films, who truly shine in their villainous roles. Evans is a member of the Fantastic Four, the Losers, the Avengers, and now the League of Evil Exes. He gives Lucas Lee the gravelly voice and scowl of Clint Eastwood along with a cocky swagger. Routh is equally funny imbuing the smug self-righteousness befitting of someone who is both a rock star and a vegan. Kieran Culkan (as gay roommate Wallace), Alison Pill (as freckle faced drummer Kim Pine), Anna Kendrick (as younger sister Stacey Pilgrim), and Aubrey Plaza (sometimes nemesis Julie Powers) act as a sardonic Greek chorus providing the film with a dry wit as they comment on the lunacy that is Scott Pilgrim’s life. The biggest surprise has to be newcomer Ellen Wong whose infectious enthusiasm as Knives Chau fully exhibits the unbridled joy that comes from the film. There’s a wonderful innocence about her not to mention the naturally expressive eyes of an anime character.

Also, look out for uncredited cameos from Thomas Jane and Clifton Collins Jr. as vegan police officers.

If Scott Pilgrim has a weakness, it is that the movie tends to feel overstuffed from time to time. Wright and co-writer Michael Bacall streamlined the six part series into a 110 minute film. Some characters, like the Katayanagi Twins, get short changed in screen time and some relationships, like the one between Scott and Pill’s Kim Pine, are only alluded to.

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World limped to a meager $10 million opening at the box office this past weekend. Perhaps, it aimed too heavily at a niche audience. Causal viewers may be baffled by the subculture the film revolves around, but it shouldn’t stop you from seeing it. Edgar Wright somehow manages to blend comic books, video games, and the physical humor of Looney Tunes with martial arts action and the youthful angst of John Hughes. The result is the exciting and inventive picture known as Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.

Rating: *** ½

The Expendables

The Expendables - Dir. Sylvester Stallone (2010)


Sylvester Stallone is an action movie icon. He found worldwide success with the Rocky and Rambo franchises before an ill-fated attempt to branch into comedy nearly derailed his career. I’m sure I’m not the only one who’d like to forget about the existence of Oscar and Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot. Stallone returned to his action roots with Cliffhanger and Demolition Man, but things just seemed to go so terribly wrong after that. He starred in a series of forgettable flops like Judge Dredd, Assassins, and a poorly advised remake of the classic revenge film Get Carter. It seemed there was no place in the world for the alpha male hero of the 80’s. Stallone seemed to be passé and destined to drift into the direct-to-video world inhabited by Steven Seagal and Jean Claude-Van Damme. Oddly enough both were approached for Stallone's new film, The Expendables, but both turned down the opportunity.

No doubt that predicament was exactly what the Italian Stallion needed to mount an impressive comeback in the 21st century. Stallone returned to his roots once more and resurrected Rocky Balboa and John Rambo for one more go. Examining their place in this modern world, Stallone found there was still life left in a punch drunk has-been boxer and a burnt out Vietnam vet.

Now in his mid-60’s, Stallone is experiencing something of a renaissance period. It wasn’t so long ago that Rambo could easily cut down a hundred bad guys by himself with a machine gun that never needed reloading. In Rambo, he had help from a ragtag group of mercenaries. There’s nothing ragtag about the mercenaries in The Expendables. Stallone has assembled an all-star collection of tough guys to kick some serious ass.

Stallone is Barney Ross, the leader of the Expendables. His best friend and right-hand man is Lee Christmas (Jason Statham), a skilled knife-throwing marksman. Also on the team are Yin Yang (Jet Li), Toll Road (UFC fighter Randy Couture), Hale Caesar (Terry Crews), and the unstable Gunner Jensen (Dolph Lundgren). They have tattoos, ride motorcycles, and have code-names that sound like bad G.I. Joe characters. Still, the Expendables are way tougher than the A-Team and the Losers.

The Expendables begins with the team rescuing hostages from a crew of bloodthirsty Somali pirates. After the battle, Gunner is dumped from the group due to his apparent drug use. In one of the film’s best scenes, Stallone reunites with his Planet Hollywood buddies Bruce Willis and the Governator, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Arnold plays a rival soldier of fortune while Willis plays the mysterious Mr. Church who propositions Stallone for a risky mission.

Ross is hired to topple a tin-plated dictator named General Garza (David Zayas) in the South American island nation of Vilena. Ross and Christmas scout out the island and meet their contact, the beautiful Sandra (Giselle Itie), who turns out to be Garza’s daughter. Our heroes discover Garza is in the pocket of rogue CIA agent James Munroe (Eric Roberts) who is using the island as a base for his drug trade. Working as Munroe’s henchmen are British kickboxer Gary Daniels and WWE Hall of Famer “Stone Cold” Steve Austin. Surmising that they’d be cleaning up the Agency’s own mess, they turn down the job. However, Ross finds himself inspired by Sandra and the Expendables arrive in full force to blow shit up and blow it up good.

Expendables is meant to be a throwback to the action films of the 80’s which featured ridiculous balls-to-the-wall violence, gratuitous nudity, and witty one-liners. Stallone tries to capture the spirit of movies like Commando and Delta Force. Unfortunately, he doesn’t really succeed until the last half hour of the picture.

Following the opening sequence, the film drifts around aimlessly as it works to introduce the various characters. Stallone and co-writer David Callaham toss in a superfluous subplot involving Christmas’s girlfriend, Lacy (Charisma Carpenter), and an abusive boyfriend. The first two acts sag into a quagmire of labored and uninteresting scenes when all you want to see are explosions. The banter between comrades falls flat. About the only moment that comes to life is the scene involving Stallone, Willis, and Schwarzenegger which includes a hilarious dig at Ol’ Arnold. Stallone aims to be the world weary soldier, but he is utterly outmatched in the world weary department by Mickey Rourke. As a retired Expendable turned tattoo artist, Rourke lends a surprising amount of soulfulness to the proceedings. It makes you wish he had a lot more scenes.

After dragging its heels for about an hour, Expendables finally kicks it into high gear when the good guys storm the bad guys’ stronghold. Stallone utilizes the same visceral carnage of the last Rambo film. Human bodies are ripped to shreds by machine gun fire and necks are broken emphatically. Couture and Austin aren’t the only ones who get to bust out MMA and pro wrestling maneuvers. Oh, and Terry Crews hurls an artillery shell with his bare hands. Even though Stallone tries for an old school feel, he falls into the trap so many action directors stumble into. His shots are in too tight and the editing too quick and jumpy for anyone to actually see what's happening on screen.

Stallone should be commended for returning us to the clean, old fashioned fun that comes from mindlessly violent entertainment. However, you wished he had incorporated even more mindlessly violent entertainment. The Expendables is a good action movie, just not a great one.

Rating: ** ½

(500) Days of Summer

(500) Days of Summer - Dir. Marc Webb (2009)


(500) Days of Summer is the breath of fresh air sorely needed in the stagnant world of the romantic comedy. The booming voice of an omniscient narrator states, ”This is not a love story,” before we are taken on a fractured journey through the highs and lows of a whirlwind relationship.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt stars as Tom, a button-downed hipster who aspired to be an architect, but now writes sappy greeting cards to pay the bills. He falls for Zooey Deschanel’s Summer Finn, the office’s new assistant. She’s infuriatingly free-spirited and does not believe in love or soul mates, much to the dismay of Tom, the old-fashioned romantic. As the prototypical “manic pixie dream girl,” Deschanel’s character isn’t far removed from her previous roles in Yes Man or Gigantic.

The film unfolds in non-chronological fashion as the 500 day courtship of Tom and Summer is revealed. The narrative jumps from the budding moments of the relationship to its slow disintegration. We watch the young lovers bonding over karaoke where JGL croons “Here Comes Your Man” by The Pixies and Deschanel covers Nancy Sinatra’s “Sugar Town.” Tom lists all the tiny features he loves about Summer, then lists those very same features as what he hates about her the most. Director Marc Webb, working off a script by Scott Neustadter and Michael H. Weber, juxtaposes the couple’s happier moments with a sullen post-breakup Tom. From time to time, Tom seeks advice from his nerdy roommates (Matthew Gray Gubler and Geoffrey Arend) or his exceedingly wise younger sister (Hit-Girl herself Chloe Moretz).

Throughout the film, they utilize inventive ways to play out the highs and lows of their love affair. After consummating their relationship, Tom engages in an elaborate dance number to Hall & Oates. Staring at his reflection, he only sees a dashing Han Solo wink back at him. A split-screen sequence shows us the heartbreaking gap between Tom’s hopeful expectations to the crashing reality. A gag involving a tired spoof of Godard and Bergman falls flat.

(500) Days of Summer breathes new life into a familiar story through visually inventing means.

Rating: ***

Funny People

Funny People - Dir. Judd Apatow (2009)


Judd Apatow is the reigning king of comedy. He has a knack for portraying modern day relationships from the perspective of the overgrown man-child in desperate need of maturity. There’s also a healthy dose of raunchy, low-brow humor thrown in for good measure. Though Apatow has only written and directed two previous films (The 40-Year Old Virgin and Knocked Up), he’s stamped his name on numerous others, some successful (Superbad, Pineapple Express) and some not so much (Drillbit Taylor).

For Apatow’s third film, Funny People, Adam Sandler lampoons his own on and off-screen persona as George Simmons, a former stand-up comic turned A-list movie star. His juvenile movies usually involve him turning into a baby or a merman. George is the Charles Foster Kane of comedians. He lives in his own personal Xanadu surrounded by expensive cars and posters adorned with his face, but he is all alone. George’s life doesn’t improve when he’s diagnosed with leukemia. Along the way, he hires Ira Wright (Seth Rogen), a struggling stand-up, to be his personal assistant and joke writer. Ira becomes George’s de facto confidant and the closest thing he has to a friend. When his leukemia goes into remission, George attempts to reconnect with a former flame, Laura (Leslie Mann), now married to an adulterous Australian (Eric Bana).

Funny People is Apatow’s most polished looking film thanks to bringing on Spielberg’s long-time cinematographer, Janusz Kaminski, as DP. It’s also his most ambitious and mature picture to date. Apatow balances the story of Ira’s rising star with George reflecting on his own narcissism and self-pity. He manages to stray from a formulaic plot with a loose narrative that is both the film’s strongest and weakest point.

Funny People isn’t the lighter fare that audiences are used to from Apatow, but those light moments are some of the film’s best. The movie drifts off on humorous asides such as Ira and George riffing on each other or comparing a German doctor to a Die Hard villain. Apatow also gives us a unique, inside look at the world of stand-up comedy. Littered throughout the film are a series of cameos from various comics like Sarah Silverman, Paul Reiser, and Andy Dick. However, Eminem outdoes them all with a profanity-laced rant directed at Ray Romano.

Yet, Apatow is unable to prevent his film from collapsing underneath the weight of its nearly two and a half hour runtime. At 146 minutes, Funny People is about 30 minutes too long. While engaging for the first two acts, the final act sputters towards a contrived and overly sentimental resolution.

Commenting on his past obnoxious and immature characters, Sandler gives a well-rounded performance, one that is less self-conscious than his most publicized dramatic turn in P.T. Anderson’s Punch-Drunk Love. Shining in supporting roles are Jason Schwartzman as a smarmy roommate who stars in a cheesy Saved by the Bell-esque sitcom and Aubrey Plaza as a sardonic female comic.

Rating: **

Salt

Salt - Dir. Phillip Noyce (2010)


Not so long ago, rumors floated around that Hollywood execs were no longer interested in action films starring female protagonists. This was in response to the box office failures of films like Catwoman, Elektra, and Ultraviolet. I’d wager the suckiness of those pictures had more to do with the lousy scripts than the gender of their stars.

Salt looks to buck the trend casting Angelina Jolie as the title character. Ironically, the film was originally conceived with a male protagonist. Tom Cruise was initially attached before dropping out to star in the abysmal Knight and Day.

Jolie plays CIA agent Evelyn Salt. The name seems to have chosen so critics could come up with headlines like, “Jolie worth her salt” or “Needs more salt.” Anyways, the picture begins with Salt being tortured in North Korea after her cover is blown. She is eventually freed and exchanged for another agent partly due to efforts from future husband Mike Krause (August Diehl), an etymologist specializing in spiders.

2 years later, Salt and her handler, Ted Winter (Liev Schreiber), interrogate a Russian defector named Vassily Orlov (Daniel Olbrychski). Orlov claims to have trained sleeper agents from childhood to infiltrate the United States. Apparently, one agent has been activated and charged with assassinating the Russian President. That agent…Evelyn Salt. On the run, she looks to clear her name and find her missing husband. If she’s the Fugitive, then Chiwetel Ejiofor from Serenity is Tommy Lee Jones.

Salt plays like a fast and loose version of The Bourne Identity with the plot existing only to service a string of action sequences. Not surprising since the script was written by purveyor of schlock, Kurt Wimmer, who also wrote and directed Equilibrium and the aforementioned Ultraviolet. The plot is thin, predictable, and lacking any real suspense. Wimmer dusts off the Russians as the film’s primary villains. While it may seem outdated, recent headlines have shown that the Soviets have been using hot women to spy on America.

The largely implausible action sequences are well done with Jolie bouncing off bridges and the rooftops of semi-trucks. She jury rigs a bazooka out of a fire extinguisher and blocks a security camera with her panties. Salt marks the welcome return of Phillip Noyce to the genre, Noyce previously directed Patriot Games and Clear and Present Danger, the latter featured an excellent shootout, before moving onto politically charged dramas such as, The Quiet American and Catch a Fire.

Jolie is instantly credible as an action heroine. Salt is a better display of her talents than Tomb Raider or Wanted though it’s no less silly.

Rating: **

Despicable Me

Despicable Me - Dirs. Pierre Coffin & Chris Renaud (2010)


Despicable Me is the first film from Illumination Entertainment, Universal’s new animation division headed by Chris Meledandri, the former president of Fox Animation. It’s also the first supervillain-centric movie of the year with Dreamworks’ Megamind coming out in November. Despicable Me was co-directed by European animators Pierre Coffin & Chris Renaud from a script by Ken Daurio & Cinco Paul who previously wrote Horton Hears a Who and The Santa Clause 2.

Steve Carell adopts an indiscernible Slavic accent to voice Gru, a criminal mastermind who considers himself the world’s number one bad guy. In his employ are an elderly inventor named Dr. Nefario (Russell Brand) and an army of Minions, diminutive creatures who look like Oompa Loompas crossbred with Twinkies. With their assistance, Gru devises a scheme to steal a shrink ray in order to hijack the moon and hold it for ransom. More importantly, Gru hopes to finally impress his hard to please mother, played by Julie Andrews in anti-Julie Andrews mode. Gru’s plan is derailed when the Bank of Evil refuses him a loan and the shrink ray is stolen out from under him by the nerdy Vector (Jason Segel). A dweeb with a bowl cut and an orange track suit, Vector is the new number one whose fortress is impenetrable.

Meanwhile at the orphanage for girls, three adorable little moppets named Margo (Miranda Cosgrove), Edith (Dana Gaier), and Agnes (Elsie Fisher) sell cookies door-to-door for the stern Miss Hattie (voiced by Kristen Wiig, modeled after Edie McClurg). Noticing they can enter Vector’s domain uninhibited, Gru adopts them and before you know it, his icy exterior is melted away.

Despicable Me isn’t the type of multi-layered film that Pixar has mastered. It is fairly one-dimensional, but that one dimension is incredibly entertaining. The movie goes for the gusto as much as possible. If they’re going to have three cute, little girls, they’re going to make them as cute as humanly possible. The same can be said for the movie’s use of 3D, putting the audience on a rollercoaster and throwing various objects at the screen.

Is it as good as Toy Story 3 or How to Train Your Dragon? No, but Despicable Me is well worth seeing on a big 3D screen.

Rating: ***

The Other Guys

The Other Guys - Dir. Adam McKay (2010)


Riggs and Murtaugh. Tango and Cash. Add Hoitz and Gamble to the buddy cop pantheon.

The Other Guys opens in true action film fashion with a rousing car chase through the streets of New York City as top cops, Danson (Dwayne Johnson) and Highsmith (Samuel L. Jackson), run down the perpetrators. A massive amount of property damage is done to bring in a few crooks possessing a miniscule amount of marijuana. Back at the station house, Danson and Highsmith are greeted with a hero’s welcome. None of the accolades are thrown the way of Terry Hoitz (Mark Wahlberg) and Allen Gamble (Will Ferrell). They don’t blow shit up, they don’t get the girls, nor do they make the big arrests.

Hoitz could be doing those things, if not for an embarrassing shooting mishap, which relegated him to desk duty. His partner, Gamble, is a forensic accountant who gleefully enjoys paperwork and has no desire to see any action in the field. While investigating a minor oversight in construction permits, Gamble and Hoitz uncover a Bernie Madoff-style plot by millionaire mogul David Ershon (Steve Coogan) to embezzle $32 billion.

The main cast also features Michael Keaton as the precinct captain who moonlights as the manager of a Bed Bath and Beyond, Eva Mendes as Gamble’s inexplicably hot wife, Ray Stevenson as an Australian mercenary, and an uncredited Anne Heche as a corrupt CEO employing Ershon.

The Other Guys is the fourth collaboration between director Adam McKay and Will Ferrell following Anchorman, Talladega Nights and Step Brothers. Other Guys isn’t as hilarious as the first two films, but it’s several notches above the somewhat crass Step Brothers. As a spoof of buddy cop films, it works better than Kevin Smith’s Cop Out. However, the genre has become such a self-parody of itself that McKay is simply beating a dead horse. Seeing Wahlberg in a slow-mo John Woo shootout isn’t as funny as it should be because the gag has been done to death.

Where the film excels is in the interactions between the lead actors. Wahlberg has given some terribly wooden performances recently in The Happening and The Lovely Bones. He’s better suited for action and comedy and he’s excellent as the hotheaded straight man. Ferrell’s idiot man-child routine wears thin so he wisely tones it down for Other Guys. There’s a slow burn for his character as they slowly reveal the darker side he’s hidden.

McKay tops it off with his own brand of absurdist humor displayed in many hysterical gags sprinkled throughout the film. Some of the funniest bits include: Coogan bribing our heroes with tickets to Jersey Boys, a run-in with a group of horny hobos led by a fellow named Dirty Mike (played by McKay himself), an ending credits sequence utilizing Powerpoint-style animation to explain Ponzi schemes and government bailouts, and Ferrell constantly being hit on by gorgeous women like Brooke Shields (wife of co-writer Chris Henchy).

Rating: ***

Repo Men

Repo Men - Dir. Miguel Sapochnik (2010)


"Can we have your liver?"

Repo Men takes us to a dystopian future where the economy and health care still sucks. The film was directed by Miguel Sapochnik, making his feature-length debut, working from a script by Eric Garcia and Garrett Lerner. The screenplay was based on a novel by Garcia called Repossession Mambo. Repo Men bares several striking similarities to the Gothic rock opera, Repo! The Genetic Opera, which began life as a stage show.

Jude Law and Forest Whitaker star as Remy and Jake, a pair of repo men working for the Union. The monolithic corporation has created state-of-the-art artificial organs (artiforgs) which it provides to the public on a seemingly easy installment plan. What their lead salesman, Frank (Liev Schreiber), fails to tell his clients is that the repo men will cut the organs out of you should you fail to miss a payment. Remy is the Union’s top repo man, but he has a change of heart (literally) when a malfunctioning defibrillator lands him in the hospital in need of a new ticker. Now possessing an artiforg of his own, Remy can no longer continue his line of work in good conscience. He descends into the lower rungs of society as a fugitive along with Beth (Alice Braga), a sultry nightclub singer with an assortment of artiforgs and cybernetic upgrades. A jilted Jake, who seems to have an obsessive bromantic attachment to his partner,

There’s also a perfunctory subplot involving Remy’s son and estranged wife, played by Carice van Houten in a thoroughly thankless role.

Repo Men had the makings of a decent action flick with two very dependable actors in the lead roles. Instead, the filmmakers seem more than happy to tread water with an utterly unoriginal production. Repo Men references (or rips off, depending on your POV) numerous movies which only serves to remind you just how inferior it really is in comparison. Their look of the future cribs Alfonso Cuaron’s Children of Men, the offices of the Union are right out of THX-1138 and Brazil, and there’s even a bizarre nod to David Cronenberg’s Crash. Worst of all, Repo Men also features the umpteenth knockoff of the famed hallway fight from Oldboy. In an advanced era of technology, it doesn’t make much sense for people to fight each other with meat cleavers and steak knives. On the other hand, there is a sly nod to the organ donor skit from Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life, a likely inspiration. That may have more to do with Monty Python’s sheer awesomeness than Repo Men.

Jude Law has starred in several underrated sci-fi films like Gattaca, eXistenZ (another of Cronenberg’s), and Spielberg’s oft-maligned A.I. Repo Men cannot be considered one of them. It isn’t underrated, just undeserving. Undeserving of its great cast and undeserving of anyone’s time.

Rating: *½

Astro Boy

Astro Boy - Dir. David Bowers (2009)


Osamu Tezuka has widely been considered to be the god of manga. His dynamic art style and penchant for drawing characters with large, expressive eyes are the images immediately associated with Japanese comics and animation. One of Tezuka’s most beloved creations was the rocket-propelled robot, Astro Boy, who starred in a long-running manga series and several animated shows. Unfortunately, whatever charms Astro Boy possessed were lost in translation for Summit Entertainment’s CG remake.

Set in the year 2108, a privileged few live in the shining metropolis of Metro City, a high-tech city floating above Earth where robots serve the human population. In other words, they live just like the Jetsons. One of the most brilliant minds in Metro City is Dr. Tenma (Nicolas Cage), the head of the Ministry of Science. Along with Dr. Elefun (Bill Nighy), Tenma works under the auspices of the militaristic President Stone (Donald Sutherland) who is constantly ready to go to war.

Tenma has recently discovered a blue energy source and its opposite and far more unstable red energy. While experimenting with the latter, a tragic accident occurs when Tenma’s son, Toby (Freddie Highmore), is completely vaporized. A mournful father tries to replace his dead child by creating a robot duplicate who, at first, believes he is the real Toby. Soon, Tenma realizes Astro Boy will never be able to replace Toby and casts him out just as Pres. Stone demands he be turned over to create new weapons. Astro Boy is cast out and falls to the world below where he’s taken in by a group of orphans scavenging the scraps tossed away by Metro City.

Animation-wise, Astro Boy has been crafted well with some cool visuals and action sequences. However, it lacks any discernable style or charm to set it apart from the rest of the computer animated films being pumped out every year. It doesn’t have the uniqueness or depth that Pixar has achieved on countless occasions. The quirky and squat look of Tezuka’s characters has been washed away in order to placate mainstream Western audiences. The big eyes are gone, but the machine guns in his buttocks are still there.

The formulaic plot is further hampered by heavy-handed political overtones pounded in with the hammer of obviousness. President Stone is pure Neo-Con odiousness who dismisses the namby pamby blue energy for the ruthless and erratic red.

Astro Boy is bland, inoffensive entertainment, but you could do better watching the works of Miyazaki or Brad Bird’s The Iron Giant.

Rating: **

The Sorcerer's Apprentice

The Sorcerer's Apprentice - Dir. Jon Turteltaub (2010)


Two Bruckheimer productions in one summer? Thank the cinematic gods that the world has not ended underneath a torrent of special effects-laden schlock. Earlier, we saw the release of Prince of Persia, a loud and brainless movie based on a video game. Now, we have The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, a loud and brainless movie loosely based on a Mickey Mouse cartoon which, in turn, was based on a poem by Goethe. Aside from a scene involving enchanted mops run amok, this Sorcerer’s Apprentice has very little to do with any of the previous versions.

The film opens in Arthurian times as Merlin (James A. Stephens) falls in a battle against the evil sorceress, Morgana le Fay (Alice Krige), after being betrayed by one of his apprentices, Maxim Horvath (Alfred Molina). Merlin’s other apprentices, Balthazar Blake (Nicolas Cage) and Veronica (Monica Bellucci), manage to stop the evildoers. Veronica traps Morgana’s soul inside her body and Balthazar in turn traps them both inside a nesting doll. Over the centuries, Balthazar has captured over evil sorcerers (including Horvath) within layers of the doll as he searches for the Prime Merlinian, a magician with the power to destroy Morgana once and for all.

Flash forward to New York City in the year 2000 where a young boy named Dave Stutler (Jake Cherry) stumbles upon a magic shop run by Balthazar. Just as he realizes Dave is the chosen one, Horvath is accidentally freed from his prison. The wizards battle and entrap each other in an enchanted vase for ten years.

Flash forward again to the present day and both are finally released. Meanwhile, a grown-up Dave (Jay Baruchel) is now a physics student at NYU. Since that fateful day, he’s had countless hours of therapy and was forced to transfer to a new school. Dave still has a crush on fellow student, Becky Barnes (Teresa Palmer), who he knew back in grade school. Dave is thrust into the strange world of magic when he’s placed under the tutelage of the eccentric Balthazar. Together, they must stop Horvath from freeing Morgana and resurrecting an army of the dead to conquer the world.

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice takes us on a Cliff Notes edition of the hero’s journey. Much as he did in his last film, She’s Out of My League, Baruchel is the gawky nerd who overcomes his doubts to win the day and get the pretty girl. Director Jon Turteltaub, who previously helmed the National Treasure films, makes sure to throw in plenty of whiz-bang special effects, a car chase, a giant steel eagle, a dragon, and even a few Hadokens for the Street Fighter II fans. Apprentice bounces from lengthy exposition to action sequence in breakneck manner.

Cage sports one of his least bizarre hairstyles for one of his least bizarre roles. It’s refreshing to see Cage restrain himself from his usual mugging of the camera. On the other hand, Molina realizes what a Z-grade film he’s starring in and acts accordingly with mustache twirling glee. The same goes for Toby Kebbell as a Criss Angel-esque illusionist.

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice is the perfect movie for those of you who think Harry Potter could use more explosions and less of those pesky things like plot and character development.

Rating: * ½

The Kids Are All Right

The Kids Are All Right - Dir. Lisa Chodolenko (2010)


”They fight just like real people.” - Seth Rogen, Zack & Miri Make a Porno

The Kids Are All Right isn’t a rallying point or an attempt to shift the social paradigm of the LGBT community. Co-written with Stuart Blumberg, Lisa Cholodenko’s film isn’t about lesbian marriage as much as it is about a marriage that just happens to be between two lesbians.

Annette Bening and Julianne Moore star as Nic and Jules, married with two kids they sired through an anonymous sperm donor. Nic is a successful doctor, something of a perfectionist, and a little controlling. Jules is a little more laid back, slightly flaky. She’s mainly stayed home to take care of the kids while bouncing from one failed business venture to another. She’s just now getting into the landscaping trade. The daughter, Joni, (Mia Wasikowska) has just turned 18 and is ready to move off to college. Her younger brother, Laser (Josh Hutcherson), is at that turbulent teenaged time where he needs a strong male role model, especially in a house full of women.

At his gentle nudging, Joni gets into contact with their sperm donor, Paul (Mark Ruffalo). Paul is a restaurateur with an organic, co-op farm and a motorcycle. He’s free-spirited and free of responsibility. His introduction into their family dynamic is initially awkward, but Jules and the children warm up to him while Nic is reticent. But, a second act plot twist veers the film into soap opera territory, taking the focus off of Paul’s budding relationship with Joni and Laser.

Unlike many indie films these days, the characters feel like fully realized human beings. So often you get movies about characters that are quirky or misanthropic for no real reason. With Kids Are All Right, we get genuine emotion and a tale about the difficulties of any relationship. Laser is noticeably embarrassed when his clingy moms ask for a hug. Nic and Jules engage in an incredibly clumsy attempt at sex while the kids are still at home. Little things like these that anyone, gay or straight, can relate to. Never does Chodolenko draw attention to the sexual orientation of her leads. You never feel the need to describe the film as, ”…but with lesbians.”

Not surprisingly, the performances are strong all around. Paul could have easily been vilified, but Ruffalo imbues him with an immature charm. You sympathize with him even if the other characters don’t. It’s a similar performance to his turn in Kenneth Lonergan’s You Can Count on Me. Julianne Moore gets to flex her comedic muscles which she rarely shows off. Bening absolutely nails it when a harsh revelation turns her world upside-down.

Rating: ***