Avatar

Avatar - Dir. James Cameron (2009)


What a way to close out the year. Avatar is THE event picture ardent film-goers have been waiting. Critics such as A.O. Scott and Roger Ebert have likened it to the way audiences must have felt when they first saw Star Wars in theaters back in 1977. Nearly two decades ago, James Cameron revolutionized computer effects with the morphing technology in Terminator 2 and The Abyss. Only a few short years later, he helmed the biggest, box office blockbuster in history in Titanic. Now, he’s hoping to tap into an audience just as wide while revolutionizing FX again with the sci-fi epic, Avatar.

Jake Sully (Sam Worthington) is a paraplegic combat vet whose twin brother was recently murdered in a mugging. Sully is tasked as his brother’s replacement off-planet on the faraway world of Pandora. The planet is inhabited by an alien race called the Na’Vi, lanky, 10-foot tall, feline-like creatures that hunt with bows & arrows and ride on dragon-esque creatures. The atmosphere is toxic to humans so a group of scientists led by Dr. Grace Augustyn (Sigourney Weaver) have developed clones genetically engineered from human and Na’vi DNA. They can be controlled telepathically and used to communicate with the natives who aren’t too trusting of us hairless apes. Sully signs up with the program so he can pay for the expensive procedure to fix his legs, an operation he couldn’t normally afford, ”…not in this economy,” he states.

As with most sci-fi flicks, Earth has been trashed and a nameless corporation is desperate to get its hands on Pandora’s resources, in particular an ore dubbed (seriously), “unobtainum.” Funny thing is, after viewing and digesting the film, I can’t, for the life of me, recall why it is they need the stuff. Is it for fuel? Manufacturing? All I know is, it’s worth a shit-ton of money. Like Weyland-Yutani and Cyberdyne, the corporation is more concerned with profits than human (or humanoid) lives. At their disposal, is a private army led by Col. Quaritch (Stephen Lang), a gung-ho he-man with tunnel vision and a hard-on for wiping out the indigenous natives. Sully is initially sent to spy on the Na’vi and learn their ways and weaknesses. Of course, he falls in love with Neytiri (Zoe Saldana), the daughter of the tribal leader, and switches allegiances. Sully rallies the Na’vi into a final battle against the human forces.

Also included in the cast are Joel David Moore and Drag Me to Hell’s Dileep Rao as fellow scientists in the Avatar program, Giovanni Ribisi as the corporate representative, and Michelle Rodriguez as a hotshot pilot who is essentially a variation of Vasquez from Aliens.

Cameron began writing Avatar back in the mid-90’s, but had to wait it out until motion capture animation and 3D projection caught up with his imagination. The production budget is estimated to be around $230 million and you can push that above the $300 million mark when you include advertising. Those are very conservative estimates on my part and I’m not counting whatever money they sunk into R&D. All that money and hype pumped into Avatar and I couldn’t help but think, was that all?

Visually, Avatar is a masterpiece and a stunning technological achievement. As Sully explores the world of Pandora, so does the audience. The 3D effects of Avatar are far beyond the gimmicky days of characters throwing random objects at the crowd. The film opens up, allowing the audience into its bioluminescent wonderland. At times, the 3D is subtle enough that you won’t even notice it. Cameron can still direct the hell out of a movie. The climactic battle sequence never descends into a mess of special effects the way the Star Wars prequels did. The motion capture of Avatar is leaps and bounds ahead of the stiff, plastic looking animation used by Robert Zemeckis in his movies.

If only Cameron had spent as much time developing the flaccid script as he did with the remarkable CGI. Avatar completely and utterly fails in the story department with a hackneyed plot that’s part-Dances with Wolves, part-Pocahontas. I kept waiting for everyone to bust out a campfire rendition of "Colors of the Wind." It's the old "poor, outmatched primitives who can only be saved by the brave white man" deal. The characters are one-dimensional and every plot twist is telegraphed. Cameron uses all the subtlety of a sledgehammer when it comes to espousing his messages on American imperialism and today’s economic and ecological crises. The same goes for the clunky bits of exposition that are awkwardly dropped into the dialogue as the film begins. Like the John Henry of filmmakers, Cameron continues swinging that sledgehammer with Sully’s voice-over narration. Cameron uses it the way no one should ever use narration, yet everyone still does it, by simply telling the audience what they already know. If you couldn’t figure out that Sully was conflicted about his mission, Cameron makes sure to spell it out in excruciatingly dull detail.

Sam Worthington has definitely earned the role of action hero for the new decade. He’s made less than stellar work such as Avatar and Terminator Salvation much better with his screen presence. He should do the same for the Clash of the Titans remake and rumor has it he’s in line for the lead in the upcoming Flash Gordon redo. Sigourney Weaver, who is more Dian Fossey than Ellen Ripley here, lends some credibility to an otherwise underwritten role. The same goes for Stephen Lang who seems to have popped out of nowhere this year. After great performances in Public Enemies and The Men Who Stare at Goats, Lang completes the hat trick with Avatar having fun with his cartoon character Colonel.

Avatar definitely deserves to be seen on a big screen. If you can’t see it in IMAX 3D, then at the very least, see it in regular 3D though your peepers might be strained after three hours of eye candy. However, in the end, that’s all it really is, eye candy. Avatar is gorgeous to look at, but it lacks the soul and pathos of recent sci-fi films like Moon or even District 9.

Rating: **

Nine

Nine - Dir. Rob Marshall (2009)


9 was the lucky number for movies in 2009. There were the stop-motion animated films $9.99 and 9 as well as the sci-fi flick District 9. Now to close out the year, there’s Nine, a star-studded musical from the director of Chicago, Rob Marshall. Nine is the movie version of the hit Broadway musical which itself was based on Federico Fellini’s self-reflexive and most personal film 8 ½. Marshall’s Nine lacks any and all of Fellini’s complexities and is simply an empty exercise in style.

Marcello Mastroianni essentially played Fellini in 8 ½, a renowned director who struggles to complete his next film. In the original 1982 Broadway production, Raul Julia took on the role which was inherited to Antonio Banderas in the revival. Javier Bardem was originally cast until he dropped out and was replaced by out of left field choice Daniel Day-Lewis. Critics have been polarized over the casting of the British Oscar winning, debating whether or not he makes a convincing Italian. I say he did fine and he has a damn good singing voice, but his talents are largely unutilized. Day-Lewis doesn’t do much more than look sullen as movie director Guido Contini.

Following a string of flops, Contini’s next film is ready to go into production, but the “maestro” hasn’t written a single page of the script. Along with his creative funk, Contini deals with a web of romantic entanglements. There’s his wife Luisa (Marion Cotillard looking like Audrey Hepburn), his sultry mistress Carla (Penelope Cruz), his leading lady Claudia Jenssen (Nicole Kidman in full Anita Ekberg mode), and an American reporter (Kate Hudson). The bevy of beauties also includes Sophia Loren as his mother, the Black Eyed Peas’ Fergie as an Earthy prostitute from Contini’s childhood, and Judi Dench as Lili, Contini’s costume designer and confidant.

As with Chicago, Marshall weaves the song and dance numbers into the narrative as fantasy sequences. These are big showy productions with the film’s lovely starlets bumping and grinding in skimpy outfits. There’s plenty of gorgeous scenery to be had, but the plot is aimless. Worst yet, the whole reason to see a musical, the music, is largely forgettable. Out of the many numbers in Nine, not a single one stuck in my mind or had me humming it as I left the theater. I will say that I didn’t expect Nicole Kidman, Kate Hudson or Penelope Cruz to have such good singing voices. Marion Cotillard, who already showed off her pipes as Edith Piaf in La Vie en Rose, gives the strongest performance in the film, both acting and singing-wise. She has a soulfulness to her that’s sorely needed even when she’s belting bland tunes like, "My Husband Makes Movies."

As a red-blooded male, I can’t say as I didn’t enjoy seeing Kate Hudson shaking her hips or Penelope Cruz writhing around in lingerie.

Rating: **

Sherlock Holmes

Sherlock Holmes - Dir. Guy Ritchie (2009)


Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s iconic detective, Sherlock Holmes, gets a new coat of paint for the 21st century in this latest interpretation. Just like the current visage of Santa Claus was largely a creation of Coca-Cola, the image of Holmes in a deerstalker hat, tweed cape with a calabash pipe was honed through various film and television adaptations. The hat and cape are gone and the pipe was appropriated by Hans Landa. Instead, filmmakers went back to the source material. Doyle’s original Holmes was depicted as unabashedly arrogant about his immense intellect and was also something of an opium sot. The drug use barely alluded to, but many of the great detective’s eccentricities are on full display.

This iteration of Holmes is perfectly played by Robert Downey, Jr. Even at a younger age, it’s hard to imagine Downey headlining a big-budget action franchise, but you can’t picture either Sherlock Holmes or Iron Man without him. Downey exceeds as the egotistical Holmes whose deductive skills and orderly mind are no comparison to his slovenly living habits. Holmes’ acumen as a martial artist and bare-knuckle boxer are briefly mentioned in a pair of Doyle’s stories, but they take the forefront here. Holmes can not only break down a person’s entire life by a mere glance, he can break someone down physically the same way. Holmes’s sidekick, Dr. Watson, is equally reimagined from the overweight bumbler to friggin’ Jude Law. He’s a man of action on equal footing with his partner.

Holmes and Watson’s relationship is soured when the latter moves out of their Baker Street townhouse to wed his fiancée Mary Morstan. Holmes can’t abide that Watson would wish for company other than himself. However, bigger happenings are afoot when the two apprehend Lord Blackwood (Mark Strong) for the ritualistic murders of several young women. After being hanged and pronounced dead by Watson, Blackwood returns from the grave and confounds his adversary with his seemingly supernatural powers. In addition, Holmes is befuddled by the return of Irene Adler (Rachel McAdams), a notorious thief and one of the very few to outwit Holmes. If Holmes and Watson are Batman and Robin, then Adler is their Catwoman.

For a mystery-laden potboiler, the last person you’d want to hire as director would be Guy Ritchie. As a filmmaker, he’s all style and no substance. As a writer, he’s a one-trick pony. Ritchie debuted with the gangster farce Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels then repeated the same formula in his sophomore effort Snatch. After striking out with the much-maligned Swept Away (starring then-wife Madonna), Ritchie returned to the ever-diminishing well with Revolver and RocknRolla. No, Ritchie couldn’t direct a Victorian-era drama to save his life, but he can direct a slick modernized blockbuster. Ritchie’s trademark trickery (fast-forwards, rewinds, slow motion, quick cuts) work as a way into the labyrinthine mind of our hero. This is also the best looking film of Ritchie’s career thanks to Oscar-winning cinematographer Philippe Rousselot (A River Runs Through It, Interview with the Vampire).

The story itself isn’t as clever as it makes out to be, but the lead actors are good enough to make you buy into it all without question. Downey and Law play off each other incredibly well and Mark Strong always adds a level of credibility to whatever film that’s lucky to have him. Rachel McAdams, unfortunately, isn’t up to the task of keeping pace with her castmates. She’s good in contemporary roles (Mean Girls, State of Play), but sticks out like a sore thumb in a period piece.

Despite, a few shortcomings, Sherlock Holmes is one of the better Hollywood offerings of 2009. It’s a fun popcorn movie and the beginnings of a promising franchise. I’m looking forward to seeing who they might cast as Professor Moriarty. Anthony Hopkins? Bill Nighy? Is Gary Oldman free?

Rating: ***

The Princess and the Frog

The Princess and the Frog - Dirs. Ron Clements & John Musker (2009)


2009 was a banner year for the animated film. We’ve seen CG (Up) and stop-motion (Coraline, Fantastic Mr. Fox) so it’s only fitting that 2009 closes with The Princess and the Frog. The film marks Disney’s return to the traditional hand-drawn animated format they revolutionized in 1937 with Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. The story structure of Princess and the Frog is evocative of the formula from Disney’s renaissance period of the late-80’s/early-90’s when they produced The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, and The Lion King. Over the past decade, the quality of Disney’s hand-drawn slate gradually declined as they pumped out more misses (Brother Bear) than hits (Lilo & Stitch). The House of Mouse abandoned the format following Home on the Range, but it was Pixar guru John Lasseter who planned to revive the traditional process once he was handed the keys to the Magic Kingdom.

Ron Musker and John Clements, who co-directed The Little Mermaid and Aladdin, were put in charge of the movie while Randy Newman was tasked with composing the soundtrack.

The Princess and the Frog is set in 1920’s New Orleans and stars Tiana, the daughter of a seamstress (Oprah Winfrey) and an aspiring restaurateur (Terrence Howard). Though she comes from a working class background, Tiana is best friends with the affluent Charlotte (Jennifer Cody), a southern Belle and daughter of Big Daddy La Bouff (John Goodman). Tiana’s mother sews dresses for Charlotte and eagle-eyed viewers should be able to pick out the references in her collection. Like many of the Disney heroines of the past, Charlotte’s simplistic goals extend no further than meeting and marrying her Prince Charming. Tiana grows up and now works almost non-stop as a waitress to earn the money to open that restaurant her dad (who is alluded to have died during WWI) always dreamed of.

Meanwhile, the carefree Prince Naveen (Bruno Campos) arrives in the Big Easy searching for a wealthy girl to marry. Seems the Prince’s parents have disowned him for being irresponsible and lazy. A local voodoo practitioner, Dr. Facilier (Keith David), schemes with Naveen’s valet, Lawrence (Peter Bartlett), to turn the Prince into a frog and steal his fortune. When Prince Naveen mistakenly believes Tiana is a princess, he convinces her to give him a kiss, only to see her turn into a frog as well. This pair of newly found amphibians treks through the bayou with a trumpet playing alligator and a Cajun firefly.

The animation is beautiful and enhanced by the film’s unique setting though I believe the filmmakers could have gone further with the period. Much has been made about Tiana as Disney’s first African-American princess, but nary is there a mention of segregation or any type of racial tension. Maybe that was just a little too intense for a kids’ flick? Princess and the Frog may be a welcome return to the classic Disney formula, but it is held back by a slavish devotion to that formula. You’ve got the protagonist, a romantic opposite, a journey, wacky animal sidekicks, and life lessons to be learned. It becomes more and more predictable as the story progresses. Dr. Facilier has some cool visuals backing him up; however, he isn’t nearly as strong a villain as Gaston or Scar. Some of the musical numbers are decent enough with “Almost There” and “When We’re Human” being the best.

The Princess and the Frog is certainly a better offering than the majority of Disney’s recent selections. If you’re planning a family outing this holiday season to the multiplex, you could certainly do much worse than this film. It’s a good picture, but just misses reaching the heights of Beauty and the Beast and its peers.

Rating: ** 1/2

Julie & Julia

Julie & Julia - Dir. Nora Ephron (2009)


What’s the old saying? Too many cooks spoil the broth? In the case of Julie & Julia, one too many ingredients have spoiled the main course. Writer/director Nora Ephron (Sleepless in Seattle, You’ve Got Mail) based the parallel stories of her film on two different memoirs, Julie Powell’s Julie & Julia and Julia Child’s My Life in France.

Amy Adams is Julie Powell an aspiring writer who now works at the call center for the Lower Manhattan Development Corporation, the folks in charge of the rebuilding of the World Trade Center. She handles calls that range from the heartbreaking (a woman mourning the death of a loved one) to the asinine (uncouth complaints about the designs). Her job is completely unfulfilling and it doesn’t help that her more successful friends constantly rub her nose in their upper class lifestyles. Why is she friends with them, then? I don’t know. Julie finds a creative outlet when she decides to blog about her attempts to make every recipe in Julia Child’s Mastering the Art of French Cooking.

Meryl Streep is Julia Child, a former OSS clerk transplanted into Paris when her husband, Paul (Stanley Tucci), is assigned to the American embassy. Julia struggles to find something meaningful to do while her husband works. Hat making and bridge won’t cut it. She eventually enrolls in cooking school and, despite objections from the arrogant Madame Brassart (Joan Juliet Buck), becomes an accomplished chef. Julia begins teaching other expatriates the wonders of French cuisine and hopes to edify more by putting together Mastering. She finds the road to publication paved with skepticism as her husband faces the looming specter of McCarthyism.

As much as I love Amy Adams, the Julie Powell storyline make up the weakest sections of the film. It’s all paint-by-numbers or should I say, cooking-by-numbers? Her character is never fully developed enough to the point where we become emotionally involved in her efforts. There’s the predictable collapse under pressure and argument with husband, Eric (Chris Messina). Of course, there’s never any tension about a potential break-up because we know they’ll get back together by the third act.

The Julia Child component of Julie & Julia is written slightly better, but it’s elevated to immense heights by the performance of Meryl Streep. With 15 Oscar nominations (and 2 wins) under her belt, Streep is assured another for 2009. She is complimented by a brief, but memorable, appearance by the ultra-talented Jane Lynch as Julia’s sister, Dorothy. Streep brings the character to life rather than doing a mere imitation. It really makes me wish that they had just done this as a straight Julia Child biopic. As it stands, Julie & Julia spreads itself too thin, leaving both stories underdone.

Rating: **

Up in the Air

Up in the Air - Dir. Jason Reitman (2009)


”To know me is to fly with me.”

Up in the Air finds itself soaring onto numerous year-end lists as one of the best films of 2009. Does the film deserve to maintain such high altitude? Will I stop using these lame airline puns? The answer to both is yes.

Based on the best-selling novel by Walter Kim, Jason Reitman and co-writer Sheldon Turner have transformed Kim’s skewed take on the corporate world into a low-key dramedy firmly entrenched in today’s economic climate. George Clooney is Ryan Bingham who fires people for a living. Contracted by a company based in Omaha, Bingham flies around the country firing employees when their boss is too chickenshit to it themselves. He never says the word, “fired,” though. Not even, “released,” “terminated,” or “let go.” He simply tells them their “position is no longer available.” As a part-time motivational speaker, Bingham feels he’s helping these people start a new page in their lives.

As for Bingham’s own life, he has no attachments. He rents a sparse, one bedroom apartment which he almost never occupies. He has two sisters that he hardly ever sees. No, his entire life is lived in VIP airport lounges, business class flights, and hotel suites. While in mid-flight, a stewardess asks him, ”Where do you live?”. Bingham answers simply, ”Here.” His main goal is to become one of only seven human beings on the planet to earn 10 million frequent flyer miles. On his travels, he meets Alex (Vera Farmiga) who shares his affinity for elite status. The pair bond over how sexy they find each others’ membership cards. Neither views their relationship as anything substantial, simply an escape.

Bingham’s blissful status quo is disrupted with the arrival of young upstart Natalie Keener (Anna Kendrick) who plans on making the impersonal even more impersonal. Natalie intends to implement teleconferencing technology in the termination process. Now, you can hire someone to fire your employees through a TV. Bingham is eventually coerced into taking Natalie on the road with him to see how everything is done. Natalie is given a new perspective once it’s given a human face while flabbergasted at Bingham’s cavalier attitude towards personal relationships.

As a modern day Cary Grant, Clooney excels at playing the charming cad with a gift for gab. That talent is display here in a muted fashion mixed with the same world weariness of Michael Clayton. Clooney’s performance truly draws you into the journey of the character, a journey that doesn’t end as you’d expect. Reitman wisely chooses to avoid the easy way out by avoiding a pat, sentimental ending. Instead, the third act climax takes a decidedly left turn, ending the film in an ambiguous manner reflecting the uncertainty of today. Reitman adds an extra layer of resonance by casting real people who have lost their jobs as Bingham’s victims.

As a filmmaker, Jason Reitman has already won me over with his first two films, Thank You For Smoking and Juno. However, Up in the Air is his finest film yet and firm evidence of an assured writer/director whose talents have fully matured.

Rating: ****

A Christmas Carol

A Christmas Carol - Dir. Robert Zemeckis (2009)


Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol has been told and re-told so many times that I doubt a plot summary is necessary at all. In terms of movies, the 1951 version starring Alastair Sim is widely regarded as the quintessential cinematic adaptation. Richard Donner’s modernized version, Scrooged starring Bill Murray is another favorite. There have been versions starring the Muppets, Mickey Mouse, Alvin and the Chipmunks, and Mr. Magoo. Cartoonist Carl Barks created the popular Uncle Scrooge as a takeoff of Dickens’ lead character for the Donald Duck comic books. Armed with the latest in modern technology, director Robert Zemeckis has created yet another version of what he considers one of the great time travel stories.

Jim Carrey takes the lead as Ebenezer Scrooge whose selfish ways earn him a visit from his late partner, Jacob Marley (Gary Oldman). Marley heralds the arrival of the three spirits (also played by Carrey) who teach Scrooge the error of his ways. Carrey isn’t the only one playing multiple roles. Oldman also doubles as Bob Cratchit and even did the motion capture for Tiny Tim. Robin Wright Penn appears as Scrooge’s late sister, Fan, and former love, Belle, while Colin Firth takes on the small role of Scrooge’s nephew, Fred. He’s the only one who actually looks like his character.

This 3D version is a faithful adaptation with numerous lines of dialogue lifted straight from the novel. Carol begins to fall apart in the third act which is also where it strays furthest from the source material. Zemeckis pads out the final part of the film with Scrooge being chased through the streets of London by a carriage driven by the Ghost of Christmas Past. Scrooge is slowly shrunk to action figure size throughout. Never has there been a more unnecessary addition then to throw in a slapdash action sequence into Dickens’ classic.

Through computer animation, Zemeckis is able to open up the world, telling a timeless tale in new ways. Some of it works (the seamless way in which Scrooge travels through his past) and a lot doesn’t (Ghost of Christmas Present turning Scrooge’s home into a glorified home theater system). Mostly, the motion capture isn’t able to shake off its limitations. The characters still have a plastic look to them while moving about in a wooden fashion. Granted, they aren’t as creepy looking as in The Polar Express, but the animation hasn’t improved enough to accurately render the actors’ performances.

Rating: **

In the Loop

In the Loop - Dir. Armando Iannucci (2009)


Filmmakers have found a wealth of story material in these politically charged times. Most of these films haven’t been shy about shoving their message (right or left-wing) down our throats. There isn’t much subtlety going on in In the Loop, but it’s one of the best political satires in recent memory. It’s sharply written and impeccably performed. Writer/director Armando Iannucci created the hit BBC series The Thick of It, think The West Wing by way of The Office. In the Loop is essentially a spin-off shot in a documentary-style that turns the audience into a fly on the wall for the Machiavellian machinations of politicos.

The film begins with Simon Foster (Tom Hollander), a Minister for International Development, though I have no idea what that entails. In fact, most of characters have similarly obtuse titles that don’t give us a single clue as to exactly what the Hell they do. Anyways, during a radio interview Foster calls the looming war in the Middle East “unforeseeable.” This opens a Pandora’s Box as Malcolm Tucker (Peter Capaldi), the British Prime Minister’s Director of Communication, storms into Foster’s office ready to bite everyone’s heads off. Tucker is a perpetually angry individual with a short fuse and no off switch, constantly launching into profanity-laced tirades. Tucker demands Foster keep his mouth shut and “tow the line.” But, Foster continues to put his foot in his mouth when he announces, we must “climb the mountain of conflict.” His inane rambling is quickly turned into a catchphrase for one of those ridiculous motivation posters.

In way over his head, Foster is invited to Washington, D.C., where members of both sides of the war debate hope to use him as a pawn in their game. Poor Simon is considered nothing more than "meat" in the room. Assistant Secretary of State Karen Clarke (Mimi Kennedy) and Lt. General Miller (James Gandolfini) are the flag bearers for the anti-war movement. Clarke’s assistant Liza Weld (Anna Chlumsky) has written a detailed report on the cons on going to war. The pro side is led by Linton Barwick (David Rasche), a thinly-veiled Donald Rumsfeld, who hides his war committee behind the intentionally vague and bland title of the Future Planning Committee. Back home, Foster’s career takes a beating when a man (Steve Coogan) complains that the wall of Foster’s headquarters is crumbling into his mother’s rose garden. Ah, delicious irony.

While the debate on war is a primary aspect of the film, we never actually hear anyone debating the actual issues or logistics. The politicians are far more concerned with backstabbing and spin doctoring. The plot is rather thin, but it’s the dialogue that is the film’s centerpiece. The lines are hilarious and unapologetically vulgar. A running gag in the script is the exceptional youth of the staff assistants, the real foot soldiers in Capitol Hill. One character notes, ”…it’s like Bugsy Malone, but with real guns.” I couldn’t help but chuckle out loud when one of Foster’s staffers, the nerdy bespectacled Toby (Chris Addison) is constantly referred to by names like Ron Weasley and Frodo. In the Loop is easily one of the best films of the year.

Rating: *** 1/2

Righteous Kill

Righteous Kill - Dir. Jon Avnet (2008)


Two of the most celebrated actors ever, Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino, both starred in The Godfather, Part II, but they wouldn’t appear together on-screen until Heat. Even then, they spent most of the film apart as adversaries. In Righteous Kill, DeNiro and Pacino share the majority of screen time together as New York City police detectives Turk and Rooster. The veteran partners investigate a series of vigilante murders targeting criminals who have escaped justice.

You’d think putting DeNiro and Pacino together on screen would easily equal electricity. It doesn’t, at least, not here. Both actors are given bland roles that could have easily gone to any other performer. They essentially sleepwalk through the film with as minimal amount of charisma as will do. Righteous Kill features a talented supporting cast to back them up, all of whom are wasted in one-dimensional roles. Carla Gugino appears as Turk’s girlfriend, a fellow officer into rough sex, a character reeking of tackiness and misogyny. Melissa Leo, so incredible in Frozen River, appears briefly in a throwaway role as a grieving mother.

The script was unoriginal and ridiculously predictable. The film opens with a video taped confession from DeNiro’s character admitting to the murders. These confessions are played throughout the film and hammered into our heads so many times; it becomes blatantly obvious he didn’t do it. The weak plot comes as a shock considering it was written by Russell Gewirtz who penned Inside Man, one of my favorite films from 2006. I suppose being directed by the man behind 88 Minutes canceled that out.

2008 was the year of the crappy cop movie thanks to stinkers like this, Street Kings and Pride and Glory. You’d be better served turning on any random episode of The Shield.

Rating: * 1/2

Law Abiding Citizen

Law Abiding Citizen - Dir. F. Gary Gray (2009)


I can see the pitch meeting right now, Death Wish meets Saw. Law Abiding Citizen comes to us from director F. Gary Gray (The Italian Job, Be Cool) and screenwriter Kurt Wimmer, a true master of subtlety. Wimmer wrote and directed the guilty pleasure actioner Equilibrium and the gawdy video game-esque Ultraviolet. Citizen laughably attempts to pass itself off as insightful, sociopolitical commentary on our faulty legal system when it’s really just a dumb action movie.

Gerard Butler stars as Clyde Shelton, a nerdy inventor. Well, at least as nerdy as King Leonidas can be. Shelton happy suburban life is shattered when two men break into his home and forced to watch as his wife and daughter are murdered. The men are arrested, but one, Darby (Christian Stolte), the fellow who did the actual killings cuts a deal with an opportunistic prosecutor Nick Rice (Jamie Foxx). He gets a light sentence while his partner receives the death penalty.

Shelton disappears for ten years and returns with a vengeance. He tampers with the lethal injection machine causing the execution to be excruciatingly agonizing. He abducts Darby and cuts him up into pieces. Later, Shelton brags about slicing Darby’s penis off with a boxcutter. Yep.

Despite being placed behind bars, anyone remotely connected to his case are dropping like flies. The defense attorney, the judge, the district attorney, I think Shelton kills a few hapless interns as well. Turns out, he used to work for the CIA assassinating targets with intricately designed deathtraps and devices.

Unable to live up its intriguing premise, Law Abiding Citizen crumbles in the final act. The film grows more and more implausible. Like so many others, the filmmakers run out of ideas and choose to descend into a mess of explosions. Butler is his usual gruff manliness while Viola Davis (who wowed audiences in Doubt) brings more gravitas than this movie deserves in her tiny role as the Mayor.

Rating: **

Pandorum

Pandorum - Dir. Christian Alvart (2009)


The cheesy critic in me is tempted to simply write, “Pandorum? More like Pan-Bore-Em,” and leave it at that. Pandorum was produced by Paul W.S. Anderson so I think it’s obvious to say this won’t be an existential examination of space travel as seen in 2001, Sunshine, or Solaris.

Pandorum opens sometime in the future as Corporal Bower (Ben Foster) and Lt. Payton (Dennis Quaid) awaken from suspended animation aboard a spaceship. Both men suffer from amnesia, a side effect of hyper-sleep, and have no idea who they are, where they are, or what their mission is. The ship is also suffering from power failure and they cannot raise the current crew on duty. As Bower explores the vessel, he discovers the ship has been infested by feral aliens who have been feeding on the other crew members.

As with Anderson’s Resident Evil movies, Pandorum features an ass-kicking female character with a funny accent. This time, it is German-born actress Antje Traue as Nadia, a genetics researcher charged with cataloguing the species preserved on the ship. I’m not exactly sure how a biologist knows martial arts and Parkour, but it’s one of the film’s least silly conceits.

Pandorum blatantly rips off several sci-fi and horror films like Alien, Dawn of the Dead, and even Anderson’s own Event Horizon. The creatures bare a resemblance to those in Neil Marshall’s The Descent, clad in the leather fetish outfits of The Road Warrior. Christian Alvart directs the film with the same crappy techniques that plague the majority of action films today. Pandorum is filled with shaky camera sequences and extreme close-ups edited together in a rapid, slipshod manner making it almost impossible to make out what’s going on.

Rating: *

The Road

The Road - Dir. John Hillcoat (2009)


”She was gone and the coldness of it was her final gift.”

Will the world end with a bang or a whimper? According to Roland Emmerich, the world will end with a shit-ton of bangs. In the shadow of Emmerich’s bloated and idiotic 2012 comes The Road, a haunting experience and a post-apocalyptic film like no other. The Road isn’t an action spectacle like Mad Max nor is it the misstep that was I Am Legend, which completely missed the point of Richard Matheson’s original story. Based on the Pulitzer Prize-winning novel by Cormac McCarthy, The Road features the same desperate isolation that marked the Coen Brothers’ adaptation of No Country For Old Men times a hundred.

Viggo Mortensen and Kodi Smit-McPhee star as an unnamed father and son who are simply dubbed Man and Boy in the credits. The pair tries to survive in a desolate wasteland where the skies have turned to ash and the landscape is littered with dead trees and abandoned roads. The Boy has been born into this nightmarish world and knows nothing of life before. The Man tells stories to his son about heroes and bravery. He insists they are the “good guys” and that they “carry the fire” inside. As they attempt to make their way to the coast, the Man must protect the boys from the horrors he sees including roving bands of bandits who’ve turned to cannibalism to survive. In one of the film’s most harrowing moments, father and son come across a house where human beings are kept locked in a basement, filthy and emaciated, so their jailers can feed on them, piece by piece. Just as these people have gone to horrible lengths simply to survive, the Man becomes as equally desperate to keep his son alive. The Boy still manages to cling to his innocence, believing that there is still inherent good in others.

No explanation is ever given for the end of the world and none is necessary. There are a series of flashbacks showing the Man and his wife (Charlize Theron) briefly before the devastation and later scenes showing them dealing with the aftermath and her pregnancy. An almost unrecognizable Robert Duvall makes a quick and unforgettable appearance as an old, blind man they meet on their journey.

I haven’t read the original novel by McCarthy, so I can’t compare the two. Director John Hillcoat (who helmed the equally somber and desolate Western The Proposition) fashions a deals with the heights that man can reach and the depths in which he will sink. The Road is all about human emotion and not special effects or camera mugging performances. Mortensen and Smit-McPhee are fantastic and utterly believable in their roles. We become as frightened as they are and feel that same tiny moment of joy when the two find a lone can of Coca-Cola.

The way the film unfolds will leave many divided. Some have criticized it saying The Road hops from scene to scene without much flow or driving force. Yes, the script by playwright Joe Penhall does meander. But, it meanders just as the characters that inhabit the world, making it a natural fit. The Road isn't the classic that many were hoping for, but it's a damn good movie.

Rating: ***

Fantastic Mr. Fox

Fantastic Mr. Fox - Dir. Wes Anderson (2009)


I count myself as a big Wes Anderson fan. Though most folks will immediately list Rushmore as his best film, it’s a distant second, in my opinion, to The Royal Tenenbaums. His debut film, Bottle Rocket, was a funny and touching combination of the slacker film and heist picture. However, Anderson’s unique visual style and storytelling methods grew stale following The Life Aquatic and The Darjeeling Limited. It seemed as if he was just spinning his wheels, revisiting the exact same themes he had already explored. When I learned Anderson was adapting Roald Dahl’s Fantastic Mr. Fox, I had hoped he would stretch himself as a filmmaker. A movie based on someone else’s material and done with stop-motion animation seemed like the way to go. I was disappointed after viewing the trailer since Fantastic Mr. Fox looked exactly like every other Wes Anderson film. After catching the actual film, I found my apprehension to be unfounded. He has succeeded beyond expectations in creating one of the most unique and enjoyable movies of the year.

George Clooney provides the voice for Mr. Fox, a charmer who gets his kicks from stealing chickens. He vows to give it up after he and his pregnant wife, Felicity (Meryl Streep), narrowly escape a fox trap. Years pass and Fox now lives in a hole with wife and son, Ash (Jason Schwartzman), and works as a newspaper columnist. He’s lived up to his promise, but feels stifled by what his life has become. Fox moves his family into a tree near the farms of Boggis (Robin Hurlstone), Bunce (Hugo Guinness), and Bean (Michael Gambon), the meanest and nastiest farmers in the valley. Yet, it’s still not enough. In Fox’s own words, he is a “wild animal,” and the call is too much to resist. When Fox robs them of their chickens, smoked meats, and apple cider, the farmers attempt to dig their adversary out of his hole, endangering every animal in the valley.

Anderson and co-writer Noah Baumbach (The Squid and the Whale, Margot at the Wedding) step beyond the original story by adding a subplot revolving around family dysfunction and the father-son dynamics which both are so fond of exploring. Ash is insecure about his size and lack of athletic ability. His self-esteem only plummets when cousin Kristofferson (Eric Chase Anderson) comes to stay while his uncle recovers from triple pneumonia. Kristofferson is tall, smart, practices yoga, and a martial arts expert. Everybody flocks to Kristofferson. He has more Fox in him than Ash does leading to a jealous rivalry.

Anderson fills out the rest of the supporting cast with his usual repertoire of players like Bill Murray as Fox’s lawyer Badger, Brian Cox as a news reporter, Willem Dafoe as Bean’s security guard Rat, and Owen Wilson in a cute aside as a coach explaining the Byzantine rules of Whackbat. The director also completes the soundtrack with his always eclectic choices. This time around we get The Beach Boys, The Bobby Fuller Four, Burl Ives, “The Ballad of Davy Crockett” (which opens the picture), and, of course, The Rolling Stones. No David Bowie?

Working in a new medium has reinvigorated Anderson’s idiosyncratic trademarks. Nobody has tried to make an animated film the way Anderson has. Mr. Fox stands head and shoulders above the majority of its cookie cutter peers because it doesn’t look like anything else. Anderson has created a whimsical and timeless world. The puppets were created using actual hair and animal fur giving them a textured feel that can’t be replicated by any software. The cross-section tableaus, the bold yellow chapter headings, the straight-on medium and close-up shots, and the dry quirky humor are on full display in Mr. Fox. In particular, Schwartzman’s deadpan delivery and a running gag where characters cuss by actually saying, “Cuss,” are some of the funniest bits.

2009 should definitely be considered a watershed year for what would be labeled as “family friendly entertainment.” I consider Mr. Fox, Where the Wild Things Are, Coraline, and Up as some of the best films of the year. None of those movies attempt to dumb things down or pander to the audience. They don’t aim for one particular demographic yet appeal to all age groups. Throughout Mr. Fox, there’s an underlying theme about individualism and a subtle commentary about our current economic climate and the trappings of materialism. Kids probably won’t get a lot of that or understand some of the irreverent humor, but there’s more than enough imagination and visual wonder to keep them (and their parents) enthralled.

Rating: *** ½

The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day

The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day - Dir. Troy Duffy (2009)


I highly recommend watching the documentary Overnight which chronicles the rise and fall of Boondock Saints writer/director Troy Duffy. That film and the circumstances behind the Boondock movies is far more interesting than either installment. Duffy was living the dream of every young hopeful trying to make it big in Hollywood. His first script ever was embroiled in a bidding war won by Harvey Weinstein and Miramax. Despite his lack of experience, Duffy was set to direct his screenplay for Boondock Saints. He was pimped out as the next Quentin Tarantino, his band (formed with his brother) was signed to a record deal, and Weinstein was even going to purchase the bar he worked at and allow Duffy to run it. Along the way, Duffy pissed it all away due to ego.

Duffy was eventually able to secure financing on his own to shoot Boondock where it was released in only five theaters in the entire U.S. for a week. Somehow, the movie became a huge hit on DVD, gaining a massive cult following. The film has made approximately $50 million in DVD revenue though Duffy hasn’t seen a single cent after signing over the rights as well as legal entanglements. Now, ten years after the original film, the long-in-development sequel has finally hit the big screen.

Boondock Saints starred Sean Patrick Flannery and Norman Reedus as Connor and Murphy McManus, two Irish-Catholic brothers in Boston who engage in a vigilante war against the mob. Since then, the McManus Brothers have been living a life of isolation in Ireland with their father (Billy Connolly), a deadly hitman nicknamed Il Duce. All Saints Day kicks off with the murder of a priest that is made to look like the Saints. The Brothers return to Boston to find the killer and waste more gangsters and scumbags. The Saints manage to pick up a new comic sidekick in Romeo (Clifton Collins Jr.), a Mexican with a mullet and an overzealous desire to become a Saint. There’s also Julie Benz (sporting a silly Southern accent) as FBI Agent Eunice Bloom, a forensics expert and protégé to Willem Dafoe’s character from the first film. The sequel also explores the previously-unrevealed history of Papa McManus.

While All Saints Day looks more polished and slick than the original, Duffy has obviously learned nothing new during his ten year hiatus from filmmaking. There’s no visual flair or ingenuity to any sequence in the film. The characters are paper thin and the dialogue is atrociously bad. It’s the kind of stuff a 12-year old would write after seeing Reservoir Dogs for the first time. I don’t know what was more idiotic about the picture, dressing Julie Benz up as a cowgirl for a shootout or Peter Fonda's thankless cameo as, of all things, an Italian Mafioso. Worst of all, the end leaves everything wide open for a third movie. Please, no...

Rating: *

V For Vendetta

V For Vendetta - Dir. James McTeigue (2005)


"Remember, remember, the fifth of November, the Gunpowder treason and plot. I know of no reason why the Gunpowder treason ever should be forgot."

Controversy has surrounded V for Vendetta and not just because of its content. The source material was a black and white comic series first published between 1982 and 1985 by Warrior, a British anthology comic. Vendetta went unfinished in its initial run, but was later reprinted and finished in color by DC Comics. With David Lloyd doing the art, writer Alan Moore created a totalitarian future that acted as a rallying cry against the conservative administration of Margaret Thatcher. Moore, a groundbreaking creator who has pushed the boundaries of what can be done in the comic medium, has wanted little to do with this or any other Hollywood adaptation of his work. And who could blame him? His Jack the Ripper opus, From Hell, was diluted, while The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen was dumbed down into a ridiculous mess.

Producer Joel Silver erroneously claimed that Moore gave his endorsement to the film. When Moore's demand for a retraction fell on deaf ears, he ordered his name be removed from the credits and pulled any future projects he had on tap at DC (owned by Warner). Next, the original lead actor, James Purefoy, dropped out during production for undisclosed reasons. To top it all off, the original release date was Nov. 5, 2005, to coincide with the 400th anniversary of Guy Fawkes Day. It was pushed back supposedly to allow more time for post-production work, with speculation that the recent London bombings may have had a little to do with it.

Set in the year 2020, war and disease have allowed a fascist regime to assume control of the British government. Minorities, homosexuals, and political dissidents have long been rounded up and exterminated in concentration camps. John Hurt channels Hitler as the maniacal Chancellor Sutler (John Hurt), who runs the show like one, forceful body. His Gestapo are known as the Finger, constantly on the pulse of the public. The Eye and the Ear are always watching and listening, while the Mouth spews Sutler's spin doctored propaganda.

And who will stand up for the meek and oppressed? A mysterious masked man with a flair for the theatrical who goes by the nom de plume V (Hugo Weaving). He lives in an underground bunker (dubbed The Shadow Gallery), surrounded by outlawed literature, art, and a jukebox of jazz music. His mask assumes the visage of Guy Fawkes, a Catholic extremist who attempted to blow up Parliament in 1605. Throw in a pageboy wig, enhanced strength & reflexes, a bunch of knives, with a touch of Errol Flynn and the Phantom of the Opera, and you have yourself a lean, mean freedom fighting machine.

We meet V through the eyes of Evey Hammond (Natalie Portman) as she is picked up by Fingermen for breaking curfew. V indoctrinates Evey into his world with a little Tchaikovsky and a whole lot of explosives and fireworks. V begins picking off Sutler's underlings one by one, all the while preaching chaos and revolution. His motto: "People shouldn't be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people." V's tragic past is unveiled as a police detective named Finch (Stephen Rea) investigates both V and his own superiors.

Having been adapted and produced by the Wachowski Brothers, one wonders if the film would have the emotional depth of the original comic or would it be filled with the metaphysical mumbo jumbo that plagued the "Matrix" sequels. The result lies somewhere in between. Characters tend to wax philosophical on numerous occasions, but never with the overbearing pomposity found in Matrix Reloaded or Matrix Revolutions.

While the comic was made in the 80's, set in 1997, and was a parable for the conservative British government of the time, the film has been updated to reflect current politics in a not-so-subtle fashion. Nuclear arms give way to biological warfare. A "war in America" is said to have spilled across the Atlantic and into England. The public must keep a watch against potential terrorists. The forceful allusions tend to distract from the goings-on. The Wachowskis seem to forget that the message should come from the story and not the other way around.

Does the film lend itself to further discussion? Not particularly. There's never a question of whether V is a terrorist or a freedom fighter. He fights to topple an obviously evil power. The real question comes in a moment that occurs early in the film. Hijacking the television signal, V puts the blame squarely on the shoulders of the people. Who voted these people into office in the first place? Is it not our fault for giving up a little freedom in order to sleep a bit easier at night? We barely get a chance to digest this little morsel, before we jump into the next scene.

There's a lot going on in V for Vendetta and just not enough time to delve deeper. There's V, his mission, and his backstory. You've got Evey and her backstory, Finch's investigations, and the government's attempts to maintain order. Before we can get into one scene, we're pulled away into the next. A lot of exposition and detours off the main path cause the middle of the film to slow to a crawl. Luckily, it picks up in time for the third act.

No one ever accused the Wachowskis of being visually bland. Here is where the film excels. While they took a step back this time, their influence can be seen in director James McTigue, a former second unit director for The Matrix. Incidentally, the Wachowskis do the second unit work for Vendetta. A stunning action sequence sees V dispatching a group of secret police in slow motion. Even a scene of toppling dominoes is engrossing.

Weaving, the former Agent Smith, took on the daunting role of V in mid-production. Using only his voice and body language, Weaving does his best to inject life into the slightly off-kilter V. But, the story truly belongs to Evey Hammond. Portman got plenty of attention for shaving her head for a sequence where she is imprisoned and tortured. It's the most powerful and memorable segment from the comic and it remains nearly intact for the film. It almost makes you forget her stilted accent.

V for Vendetta isn't quite the action-packed extravaganza you might expect from the makers of The Matrix. Yet, it doesn't get bogged down by the self-indulgent discourse of those same makers. This is the kind of film that usually kicks off the summer blockbuster season. It's popcorn filmmaking for those who don't mind a little style over substance.

Rating: ***

Ninja Assassin

Ninja Assassin - Dir. James McTeigue (2009)


He’s not just a ninja. He’s not just an assassin. He’s a Ninja Assassin.

South Korean pop star Rain stars as Raizo, an orphan taken in by a clandestine order of ninjas. Trained from the start to become a lethal killer, Raizo eventually turns on his ninja clan. Mika (Naomie Harris), an investigator for Europol, begins finding connections with numerous assassinations committed for years by the ninjas. On the verge of uncovering their order, the ninjas send several members to kill her only to be stopped by Raizo. The pair team up to finish the ninjas once and for all. That’s pretty much it. Seriously, that one paragraph I wrote just saved you an hour and a half of your life.

The script by Matthew Sand, but was re-written by the very talented J. Michael Straczynzski who was probably more concerned about cashing his fat check than putting anything substantial on paper. After a bloody prologue where ninjas slaughter Yakuza, the film is dragged to a halt as it becomes bogged down by a series of flashbacks and exposition. The thin and predictable origin of the lead character could have easily been told in a minute rather than the laborious fashion it unfurled during the first act and most of the second. As if we really needed a detailed backstory for the hero. Oh, the audience has to feel an emotional connection to the character? This ain't weepy shit like Ordinary People.

It’s a while before the action kicks in which is pretty much the only reason for anybody to see a film called Ninja Assassin. The fight scenes are the movie’s biggest disappointment. Most the set pieces take place at night or in darkened rooms so it’s difficult to see what’s happening. It doesn’t help that the sequences are so poorly directed and edited. What little credibility Ninja Assassin might have had is forever lost due to excessive use of CGI, The blood, the weapons, and the dismembered limbs are all computer generated which take you right out of the movie. Something the Wachowskis (who produced this turd) know a lot about.

One critic called Ninja Assassin, the greatest ninja movie of all time. However, when your closest competition is American Ninja, it isn’t that hard to achieve such an accolade. The poor ninja seems to have been eclipsed in pop culture popularity by the vampire and the zombie. Something must be done to raise greater awareness for the ninja, but Ninja Assassin is not the answer.

Rating: * ½

Black Dynamite

Black Dynamite - Dir. Scott Sanders (2009)


Black Dynamite may be two years too late to be a part of Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez’s Grindhouse, but it’d be perfect for a triple feature. This is a pitch perfect homage/parody of the blaxploitation genre with plenty of nods to films like Dolemite, Shaft, and even Enter the Dragon.

Michael Jai White plays the titular Black Dynamite, a martial arts master, Vietnam veteran, former CIA agent, and all-around badass. White also co-wrote the script with director Scott Sanders and co-star Byron Minns who plays the sidekick, Bullhorn. When Black Dynamite learns that his brother, Jimmy (Baron Vaughn), has been murdered, he goes on a mission of revenge. He vows to clean up his neighborhood after meeting Gloria (Salli Richardson who looks the spitting image of Pam Grier), an activist who runs an orphanage whose kids have been strung out on drugs. Black Dynamite teams up with a black militia to take down drug dealers and mobsters. Along the way, they uncover a massive conspiracy to shrink the penises of black men with tainted malt liquor. Black Dynamite’s quest for vengeance takes him to jungles of Kung Fu Island and straight to the White House for a battle to the death with a nunchuck-wielding Richard Nixon (James McManus).

The rest of the supporting cast is filled with characters with colorful names like Tasty Freeze, Creamed Corn, Chocolate Giddy-Up and the Fiendish Dr. Wu.

Black Dynamite gleefully steeps itself in 70’s culture. Black Dynamite was shot in Super 16MM to give it a grainy, washed out look. Sanders intentionally adds in split-screens, jerky zooms, jump cuts, and a wayward boom mic to make the movie even more authentic. The acting is over-the-top with Jai White channeling Jim Kelly and Fred Williamson. The dialogue is similarly outrageous with lines like, ”You can bet your sweet ass and half a tittie…” and ”Your knowledge of scientific, biological transmogrifications is only outmatched by your zest for kung fu treachery.

Black Dynamite may not be as hilarious as I’m Gonna Git You Sucka, but it works on two levels as both a funny parody and a wicked action flick.

Rating: *** ½

Brick

Brick - Dir. Rian Johnson (2005)


Writer/director Rian Johnson had a crazy idea for his first feature. He loved the film noir genre and wanted to do one of his own. But, the elements of the genre are easily recognizable thanks to the stark lighting, dark subject matter, trenchcoats, and sultry women. Just about everything has been done with the noir, so Johnson decides to place his film in a high school setting with teenagers as the characters. It sounds like a silly premise for a parody (Bugsy Malone, anyone?), except Johnson plays it straight and manages to dust off an old staple of cinema and give it a fresh coat of paint.

Brendan (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is the classic loner. He keeps everyone at a distance and eats his lunch behind the Port-A-Johns so that no one will bother him. Brendan's aloof manner belies the love he still carries for his ex-girlfriend, Emily (Emilie de Ravin of Lost fame), who has since fallen in with the wrong crowd. Out of the blue, Brendan gets a call from a distraught and frightened Emily asking for help and babbling about a "brick." They meet, but Emily just tells Brendan to stay away. Two days later, he finds her dead, face down in front of a sewer tunnel.

Brendan takes it upon himself to navigate the various cliques at his school with help from his right-hand man, The Brain (Matt O'Leary), who provides him with info and whatever else might be needed. Brendan's journey brings him on a collision course with an assortment of colorful characters. There's the popular power couple of Brad Bramish (Brian J. White), the football jock, and Laura (Nora Zehetner), the femme fatale. Brad is a total lunkhead, but Laura has her fingers on everyone's pulse and she's anxious to help Brendan. Not so eager to help are Dode (Noah Segen), a stoner who hangs out by the dumpsters near a coffee shop, and Kara (Meagan Good), a snobbish member of the Drama Club.

Digging deeper, Brendan uncovers the identity of The Pin (Lukas Haas), short for "kingpin", a young man responsible for the city's drug trade. Brendan has to step gingerly in his dealings with the crime boss, thanks to The Pin's main muscle, the brutish Tug (Noah Fleiss). If that wasn't bad enough, Brendan has Trueman (Richard Roundtree), the school's assistant vice-principal, breathing down his neck.

Fans of 3rd Rock From the Sun will be surprised at how different Joseph Gordon-Levitt looks and acts in this film. He's a much darker character and brings a lot of strength and maturity to the role. Watching Brendan in action makes you wonder if Sam Spade or Mike Hammer were ever in this thick during their school days. Gordon-Levitt definitely continues to pave the road originally started by actors like Robert Mitchum and Humphrey Bogart. He'll take a few shots to get a good one in and he's got the hard-boiled dialogue down to a tee. Brendan backs off a gang of potheads by warning them, "Throw one at me if you want, hash head. I've got all five senses and I slept last night that puts me six up on the lot of you."

And I hope I don't spoil too much when I say that Zehetner reminds me a lot of Mary Astor in The Maltese Falcon. She gives off the same vibe as the seemingly trustworthy woman latching onto the hero. Both Astor and Zehetner brought serious sexiness to their roles, done in a restrained manner, unlike the more overtly revved-up femme fatales like Rita Hayworth or Lana Turner.

Long-time followers of film noir will get all the influences and references being dropped during Brick. Johnson was a huge fan of the Coen Brothers' Miller's Crossing, which introduced him to the works of Dashiell Hammett since it was based on Hammett's novels, The Glass Key and Red Harvest. You can easily see touches of both of those quintessential detective yarns when Brendan attempts to play the opposing sides against one another.

The high school setting also gives us two surreal moments that would probably never come out of the pens of Hammett, Mickey Spillane, or James M. Cain. A blindfolded Brendan is taken to The Pin's home where he's beaten by Tug and locked in the basement. In the next scene, he's brought up to the kitchen where The Pin's mom fixes him juice and cereal. Later, Brendan comes to at Tug's place where he meets the tough guy's mob, a gaggle of white-trash goons in white t-shirts and blue jeans. It adds a bizarre sensibility to the film, along with a pinch of humor.

Brick isn't billed as "A Film by Rian Johnson", but as "A Detective Movie by Rian Johnson", which it most definitely is. Certainly, you might have to take a leap of faith in order to digest parts of the film. We never see the inside of a classroom once throughout the film. Not to mention, I doubt any high school student would ever in a million years say the word, "yegg." Yet, the story is incredibly rich and just so much fun that I was more than willing to put myself in their hands and just let them take me along for the ride.

Rating: *** 1/2

The Vampire's Assistant

Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant - Dir. Paul Weitz (2009)


It’s been a long standing tradition in Hollywood to copy somebody else’s successes. With the Harry Potter films scoring big box office, studios have been combing through the teen lit genre in search of the next franchise. Twilight has proven to be an enormous cash cow and along with True Blood has cemented the elite status of the vampire in current pop culture. British author Darren Shan’s Darren Shan Saga was probably a producer’s wet dream, being teen lit centered around vampires. Alas, nothing comes together at all in The Vampire’s Assistant and it seems destined to fall to the wayside alongside The Golden Compass.

While Chris Weitz handled the directing duties for Compass and the Twilight sequel, New Moon, brother Paul helms Vampire’s Assistant. The lead character is Darren Shan (Chris Massoglia) and am I only one who finds it oddly self-serving to name the character in the novel after yourself? Anyways, Darren is a straight-laced student with huge expectations hung on him by his parents. His best friend, Steve (Josh Hutcherson), is much more of a delinquent and isn’t well liked by teachers or Darren’s parents. One night, they attend a freak show whose orange-haired ringmaster is the vampire Crepsley (John C. Reilly). How do we know he’s a vampire? Because Steve saw Crepsley’s picture in his vampire book and that about sums up the deep level of thought that went into the plot. Darren is turned into a half-vampire (don’t ask) and is dragged into a centuries-old war between vampires who only sip the blood of their victims without killing them and the murderous Vampanese. Steve joins the dark side and there’s a bunch of stuff about prophecies and a chosen one just like every other film series.

Vampire’s Assistant tries to play around with vampire mythology, but offers absolutely nothing new to distinguish itself. There's a cool title sequence (think Catch Me If You Can by way of Tim Burton) and nothing after that is as visually stimulating. Cast against type, Reilly is one of the few actors in the film to bring something unique to the table. The film’s biggest fault lies with its lead actor, a blunder in miscasting not seen since Jake Lloyd in The Phantom Menace. Massoglia has no screen presence or charisma and an oddly shaped head. No offense, dude. Out of everything in the movie, the most interesting aspect is the supporting cast of freaks that include Salma Hayek as the bearded lady, 30 Rock’s Jane Krakowski as a woman who can eat her own arms and re-grow them, and Flight of the Conchord’s Kristen Schaal as a woman with enormous teeth. I’d be far more entertained in a Geek Love-style film about the actual circus than I would be in a bunch of whiny emo bloodsuckers.

Rating: * 1/2

Zombieland

Zombieland - Dir. Ruben Fleischer (2009)


I don’t think I’ve ever fallen in love with a movie quicker than I have with Zombieland. From the opening prologue to the fantastic opening credits (set to Metallica’s “For Whom the Bell Tolls”), Zombieland is a thrilling blend of action, comedy, and horror that fully takes advantage of pop culture’s current love affair with zombies.

From Adventureland to Zombieland, Jesse Eisenberg does his standard nerdy, Michael Cera-lite act as Columbus who survived the zombie apocalypse because he was a shut-in who avoided human contact. He has developed a set of rules that have helped him avoid becoming zombie food, rules that include good cardio conditioning and always remembering to check the back seat. He meets Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), a gung-ho cowboy who has turned zombie killing into an art form. While Columbus wants to head home to check on his family, Tallahassee is on an eternal hunt for the last box of Twinkies. Along the way, the two of them run into a pair of con artist sisters, Wichita (Emma Stone) and Little Rock (Abigail Breslin), on their way to California. Oh, nobody gives out their real names because it makes it easier to put a bullet in their head when they become zombiefied.

The highlight of Zombieland is a trip to Hollywood where the gang run into a certain celebrity in one of the funniest cameos in recent memory.

Does Zombieland add any new elements to the zombie genre that we haven’t seen before? No, not really, though it does play around with the genre much like Scream did with the slasher flick. Zombieland isn’t about zombies as a metaphor for government corruption, consumerism or sexual diseases, it’s just a fun popcorn film. This is the kind of movie where you can sit back and just be entertained. Woody Harrellson is absolutely perfect as the shit-kicking cowboy and Abigail Breslin definitely puts Little Miss Sunshine to rest. My only quibble with Zombieland would be its brief 88 minute length. Usually I wish that the movie had ten more minutes to devote to fleshing out the characters or beefing up the plot, instead I wish Zombieland had ten more minutes of pure zombie kills.

Rating: *** ½

Where the Wild Things Are

Where the Wild Things Are - Dir. Spike Jonze (2009)


”Let the wild rumpus start!”

Sorry, but Where the Wild Things Are was never a huge part of my childhood. In fact, I only just read it the other day. Honestly, I waited until after I saw the film to check it out from the library. Still, I approached the film adaptation with some trepidation. It’s always difficult to translate these classic children’s books, particularly when they’re only a dozen or so pages long. Filmmakers tend to pad out the film’s length with lowbrow humor and mugging lead actors. Look at what they did to poor Dr. Seuss. Thankfully, Spike Jonze has stayed true to the spirit of Maurice Sendak’s much-beloved book. Jonze’s Where the Wild Things Are is a soulful, intelligent meditation on the difficulties of childhood. It is a refreshing change from the sugar-coated junk food that passes as family entertainment these days.

Max (Max Records) gets crushed within his snow fort by his sister’s friends while she stands by and does nothing. His mother (Catherine Keener) ignores him in order to spend time with her boyfriend (Mark Ruffalo). Max dons his iconic wolf costume and stomps on the kitchen counter, demanding to be fed. His tantrum culminates in Max biting his mother. The boy runs away from home and finds a tiny sailboat which allows him to travel to an island inhabited by the Wild Things each representing a different aspect of Max’s psyche.

The de facto leader of the monsters is Carol (James Gandolfini), the most temperamental of the creatures and quickest to anger. Max and Carol bond quickly over their shared passion of feral destruction. Carol is constantly at odds with K.W. (Lauren Ambrose) who had briefly left to be on her own. There’s the easy-going Ira (Forest Whitaker) and his girlfriend, the somewhat domineering Judith (Catherine O’Hara). The other Wild Things are: Carol’s right hand man, the avian-esque Douglas (Chris Cooper); low self-esteem sufferer Alexander (Paul Dano); and the taciturn and intimidating Bull (Michael Berry Jr.).

Max’s time with the Wild Things is marked with mischief, adventure, and sorrow. The monsters are sensitive, but it’s never forgotten that they could eat Max with no hesitation. The work gone into creating the Wild Things is simply wonderful, suits from the Jim Henson Company enhanced with CGI. This is where the film truly begins and happens. The opening act is a nice touch, but it isn’t as if it were necessarily to inform the audience of the difficulties of growing up. The indie hipster soundtrack by Jonze’s then-girlfriend Karen O tends to become an ill-fitting distraction at times. In the end, Jonze’s offbeat sensibilities have crafted a film that can speak to the heart of anyone, regardless of age. Where the Wild Things Are never speaks down to the audience and portrays children as the complex creatures they are.

Rating: ***

Surrogates

Surrogates - Dir. Jonathan Mostow (2009)


Much like Whiteout, Surrogates is a comic book movie that fails to live up to its intriguing premise. The sci-fi flick takes the idea of internet avatars one step further by introducing the idea of actual avatars.

Mankind no longer bothers to leave their front door with the invention of robotic surrogates that can be controlled telepathically. The surrogates can be designed to look any way you want them to, any age, race, or even sex. Crime is now a thing of the past, until someone commits the first murder in years. The killer has a high-tech device that can fry the user’s brain through their surrogate. FBI Agent Tom Greer (Bruce Willis) is assigned to investigate along with his partner, Jennifer Peters (Radha Mitchell). The case grows in importance when one of the victims turns out to be the son of the inventor of surrogacy, Dr. Lionel Carter (James Cromwell playing almost the exact same role he did in I, Robot). Dr. Carter has grown disillusioned with the rampancy of his inventions and has chosen to be even more isolated than everyone else. There are also a group of humans called Dreads who despise surrogates and everything they represent. The Dreads live on their own surrogate-free reservation under the leadership of the militant Prophet (Ving Rhames).

When Greer’s surrogate is damaged, he must learn to venture into a world he hasn’t interacted with in a long time. Just as he hasn’t interacted with his own wife, Maggie (Rosamund Pike), despite the fact that she lives right across the hall from him. She has grown more and more reliant on her surrogate since the death of their son.

As with most science fiction films in recent memory, Surrogates dumbs down its central concept in favor of slick set pieces. No needs to think when you can watch stuff get blown up. The action sequences aren’t spectacular enough to set themselves apart from any other mediocre action flick being churned out today. The screen presence of Bruce Willis is really the only thing that grounds the picture.

Rating: **

Whiteout

Whiteout - Dir. Dominic Sena (2009)


2008 was a tremendous year for comic book movies thanks to runaway hits like Iron Man and The Dark Knight. They were joined by Hellboy II: The Golden Army and Wanted. That definitely made summer a happy time for fanboys even if the year ended on a sour note because of the box office bombs that were Punisher: War Zone and The Spirit. 2010 should be another big year with Iron Man 2, Kick-Ass, and Scott Pilgrim vs. The World looming. It seems 2009 is the largely ignored middle child. Watchmen kicked things off in March while X-Men Origins: Wolverine opened the summer blockbuster season to big bucks and negative reviews. The next two comic book films, however, weren’t based on superheroes.

Whiteout is based on a graphic novel by crime novelist Greg Rucka with art by Steve Lieber and published by Oni Press. Rucka is one of DC Comics’ top writers and his other creator-owned series, Queen & Country is also in development. The film version of Whiteout takes a fantastic concept and tells it in the most predictable and pedestrian way possible.

Kate Beckinsale plays Carrie Stetko, a United States Marshal assigned to McMurdo Research Station in Antarctica. Stetko is haunted by her last case when she was betrayed by her partner and nearly killed. She takes the position in Antarctica to escape and deal with cases no more serious than missing equipment. Everything changes when the first murder in Antarctica occurs. A body is found out in the ice and Stetko must unravel the mystery as bodies pile up and a masked killer armed with a pick-axe runs loose. She is assisted by Robert Pryce (Gabriel Macht), a U.N. investigator; Delfy (Columbus Short), a young pilot; and friend Dr. John Fury (Tom Skerritt). The film’s ticking clock comes from the fact that the station’s crew is preparing to return home before a violent snowstorm hits the area making flights completely impossible.

Whiteout took a long, hard road through development hell to get to the big screen. It was originally optioned back in 1999 by Columbia then passed to Universal where Reese Witherspoon was attached to star and produce until departing. Whiteout finally went into production in 2007, but sat on the shelf until this past September where it was quickly forgotten. You’d think somewhere along the line, somebody would have done an extensive re-write on the script. The film plays out like a leftover episode of one of the many police procedurals that clog television airwaves. CSI: Antarctica, so to speak. The film opens with a prologue that gives away a major second act revelation. The rest of the picture is similarly lacking in mystery. The characters may be snow blind, but the audience can see everything coming a mile away.

Rating: **

9

9 - Dir. Shane Acker (2009)


9 was originally produced as a short film by writer/director Shane Acker while he was a student at UCLA. Acker earned himself an Oscar nomination in 2005 for Best Animated Short Film, quite the accomplishment. I’ve seen my share of student films and none of them come close to earning any sort of award. I should know, I’ve unleashed a few abominations to the horror of the miniscule audiences who could be bothered to see them. Anyways, Acker developed 9 into a feature-length film along with co-writer Pamela Pettler (The Corpse Bride) and filmmakers Tim Burton and Timur Bekmambetov attached as producers.

As with many sci-fi films, the machines have revolted and wiped mankind off the face of the Earth. The only life left in the world is a small group of dolls, mechanical parts wrapped in burlap. They have no names, just numbers. The movie opens with the awakening of 9 (Elijah Wood) who wanders into the wasteland and meets the eccentric inventor 2 (Martin Landau). From there, 9 stumbles from one plot contrivance after another. 2 is captured by a mechanical monstrosity called the Beast. 9 is rescued by 2’s protégé, 5 (John C. Reilly), and eventually meets 1 (Christopher Plummer) their narrow-minded leader who is always protected by the massive 8. There’s also 7 (Jennifer Connelly), the Smurfette of the group. You know, the only one that is inexplicably female. She has left the fold to hunt down the Beast on her own.

9, 5 and 7 set out to rescue 2. 9 gets 2 killed and unleashes something worse, the machine that began the war against humanity. It creates other machines from scavenged junkyard parts to hunt down the protagonists.

The animation is simply gorgeous and suitably dark for something with Tim Burton’s name on it. Acker doesn’t go for the usual Mad Max post-apocalyptic landscape, instead he paints the world in the fashion of a bombed-out WWII Europe, the government eerily reminiscent of the Third Reich. Visually, 9 packs a powerful punch, but the story fails to follow suit. The plot is just too derivative of films like The Matrix and any other sci-fi where machines rebel against humanity. It fails to connect on an emotional level the way Pixar routinely seems to do.

9 isn’t the run-of-the-mill CG animated film that Hollywood peddles to family audiences like junk food. Rated PG-13, it’s a dark and somber picture. The animation is worth seeing alone even, but the story doesn’t stack up in comparison to a film like Wall-E.

Rating: **

A Serious Man

A Serious Man - Dir. Joel & Ethan Cohen (2009)


Joel and Ethan Coen grew up in suburban Minneapolis as the sons of academics. So it is that the Coen Brothers took inspiration from their own pasts to create A Serious Man. Much like O Brother, Where Art Thou? was inspired by Homer’s The Odyssey, Serious Man was likely inspired by The Book of Job.

The film opens with a strange prologue set in the 1800’s where a Jewish-Polish couple encounter a rabbi who the wife believes is a dybbuk, a spirit highjacking the body of a deceased individual. She believes they have been cursed and it appears that curse manifests utterly in the life of one man in 1967. Stage actor Michael Stuhlbarg plays Larry Gopnik, a Physics professor who has always tried to do the right thing and act as a good man, a “mensch,” if you will. So why is it that everything suddenly seems to go wrong in his life? His wife, Judith (Sari Lennick) asks for a divorce in order to marry her lover, Sy Ableman (Fred Melamed). Ableman is an unctuous man who acts like Larry’s best friend while he steals his wife and boots him out of his own home.

Larry’s kids are selfish and self-involved. His daughter, Sarah (Jessica McManus), spends all her day washing her hair and stealing money from her parents in order to pay for a nose job. His son, Danny (Aaron Wolff), pays no attention in class instead listening to Jefferson Airplane on his transistor radio (the iPod of its time). While his dad deals with a painful divorce, Danny bugs him about being unable to get good reception for F-Troop. He attends his bar mitzvah completely stoned. Larry’s quest for tenure is endangered by anonymous letters slandering his integrity even as a South Korean exchange student simultaneously bribes and blackmails him over a bad grade. Larry’s shiftless brother, Arthur (Richard Kind), crashes on his couch and hogs the bathroom in order to drain a cyst on the back of his neck. Larry’s neighbor, Mr. Brandt (Peter Breitmayer) is a hunting aficionado who is encroaching on Larry’s property in order to build a tool shed. Brandt appears to have no love for Jews though he does have Larry’s back when confronted by the student’s father. Most likely he cares for Asians even less. Larry is also receiving incessant calls from the Columbia Record Club demanding payment for a subscription he has no clue about. He’s got doctor’s appointments, legal fees piling up, and a nude sunbathing neighbor tempting him off the righteous path.

Poor Larry is mostly a reactive individual. He hardly ever initiates action and avoids conflict whenever he can. He’s such a passive viewer of his own life; he may as well be sitting in the audience with us. It’s no coincidence that Larry’s wife left him for a fellow named Ableman.

All these problems lead to Larry questioning God’s purpose for him. His attempts to consult a series of Rabbis yield nothing. The first (Simon Helberg) asks him to admire the beauty of a parking lot, but poor Larry can only see desolation. The second (George Wyner) tells him a long story about a dentist who finds a message from God in the teeth of a patient. The story (like the film) has no ending. The third and most prolific, Rabbi Marshak (Alan Mandell), can’t even be bothered with him.

As the gods of Larry’s world, the Coens seem to delight in tormenting their hapless creation. They pile it on and on to the point where we can’t help but feel pity for Larry Gopnik just as we laugh at his misery. The Coens’ flair for irony and dark humor is fully on display. The film’s dialogue is written with deft precision. There’s incredible wit and multiple layers behind every word. The Coens have also utilized a cast of unknowns rather than their usual troop of actors making it easier for us to buy these people AS people and not just actors in roles.

A Serious Man is the Coen Brothers’ most idiosyncratic film since Barton Fink. It is likely to be their most polarizing as well. Serious Man combines the bleak isolation of No Country For Old Men with the oddball humor of Fargo. If you thought the ambiguous ending of the former was aggravating, the non-ending to Serious Man might have you demanding a refund from your local theater. However, in real life there are no easy, pat answers. Everything isn’t wrapped up in a neat, little bow and neither is A Serious Man.

Rating: ***