He’s not just a ninja. He’s not just an assassin. He’s a Ninja Assassin.
South Korean pop star Rain stars as Raizo, an orphan taken in by a clandestine order of ninjas. Trained from the start to become a lethal killer, Raizo eventually turns on his ninja clan. Mika (Naomie Harris), an investigator for Europol, begins finding connections with numerous assassinations committed for years by the ninjas. On the verge of uncovering their order, the ninjas send several members to kill her only to be stopped by Raizo. The pair team up to finish the ninjas once and for all. That’s pretty much it. Seriously, that one paragraph I wrote just saved you an hour and a half of your life.
The script by Matthew Sand, but was re-written by the very talented J. Michael Straczynzski who was probably more concerned about cashing his fat check than putting anything substantial on paper. After a bloody prologue where ninjas slaughter Yakuza, the film is dragged to a halt as it becomes bogged down by a series of flashbacks and exposition. The thin and predictable origin of the lead character could have easily been told in a minute rather than the laborious fashion it unfurled during the first act and most of the second. As if we really needed a detailed backstory for the hero. Oh, the audience has to feel an emotional connection to the character? This ain't weepy shit like Ordinary People.
It’s a while before the action kicks in which is pretty much the only reason for anybody to see a film called Ninja Assassin. The fight scenes are the movie’s biggest disappointment. Most the set pieces take place at night or in darkened rooms so it’s difficult to see what’s happening. It doesn’t help that the sequences are so poorly directed and edited. What little credibility Ninja Assassin might have had is forever lost due to excessive use of CGI, The blood, the weapons, and the dismembered limbs are all computer generated which take you right out of the movie. Something the Wachowskis (who produced this turd) know a lot about.
One critic called Ninja Assassin, the greatest ninja movie of all time. However, when your closest competition is American Ninja, it isn’t that hard to achieve such an accolade. The poor ninja seems to have been eclipsed in pop culture popularity by the vampire and the zombie. Something must be done to raise greater awareness for the ninja, but Ninja Assassin is not the answer.
Rating: * ½
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