Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen - Dir. Michael Bay (2009)

I previously thought Transformers was the most Michael Bay that Michael Bay ever Michael Bay-ed. But, the Bay actually out-Bays himself with the sequel, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. The second film based on the popular Hasbro toyline is bigger, louder and longer than every previous version of the property combined. It’s a two and a half hour assault on the senses. Notice I haven’t said anything about it being a great movie?

Like most sequels, Revenge of the Fallen has more of everything, more robots, more action, more characters, more explosions (including one that took seven months to set up) and more glamour shots of Megan Fox, etc. It actually has more story. Not a better story, just more half-ass subplots strung together into a semi-coherent narrative.

It’s been two years since the Transformers arrived on Earth. The Autobots led by Optimus Prime (voiced again by Peter Cullen) battle alongside an international taskforce led by Maj. Lennox (Josh Duhamel) and Sgt. Epps (Tyrese Gibson) in hunting down any remaining Decepticons still in hiding. Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) says goodbye to his Autobot protector Bumblebee and girlfriend, Mikaela (Megan Fox) as he prepares to go to college. I don’t remember what school he enrolled in, but every female student is thin, flawlessly beautiful, lathered in make-up, and horny for advanced theoretical physics. Sam’s new roommate is Leo Spitz (Ramon Rodriguez), a tech head who runs a conspiracy theory website attempting to uncover the truth about the Transformers. Leo replaces Anthony Anderson’s character as the annoying, comedic sidekick computer nerd. Meanwhile, Sam’s long-distance relationship with Mikaela is put to the test by an overly aggressive co-ed (Isabel Lucas).

Sam barely makes it through day one before his hopes of a normal life are dashed. He breaks out into near-epileptic fits after touching a sliver of the Allspark that had been destroyed in the first film. He goes into John Nash mode, seeing ancient Cybertronian hieroglyphs everywhere. The Decepticons want what’s in Sam’s mind as it will lead them to a machine that can destroy the sun and harness it into their fuel source, Energon. The villainous robots resurrect their leader, Megatron (Hugo Weaving), who now takes his orders from the title character, the Fallen (voiced by Candyman Tony Todd). The Fallen was one of the original Transformers who betrayed his mechanical brothers. He’s the Palpatine to Megatron’s Darth Vader.

There’s also a government toady who blames the Autobots for all the death metal destruction and pushes to have them deported off-planet. John Turturro’s Agent Simmons is also back, now working the counter at his mom’s deli.

Where there were about a dozen Transformers in the first film, Bay ups the ante for the sequel with forty-six even including fan-favorites such as Soundwave (once again voiced by Frank Welker who also did Ravage), the Constructicons who merge into the much-larger Devastator, and Arcee, one of the few female Transformers. Many die-hard Transfans will likely be disappointed by their long-awaited appearances. Devastator is reduced to a lumbering quadruped whose main form of attack is to literally suck. There’s also Jetfire, a geriatric Decepticon who defected to the Autobots long ago. He’s nothing more than a plot device to move the characters from point A to point B and drop a huge chunk of exposition in the middle of the film. The biggest problem with the increase in the Transformer population is the fact that you can only tell a handful of them apart. This muddies up the action sequences when you have no idea who is who. Was that an Autobot that got destroyed or a Decepticon? The filmmakers don’t seem to have a clue either as some of the same Constructicons that formed Devastator can also be seen battling the Autobots elsewhere in the desert.

It also doesn’t help when Michael Bay directs the majority of the action with the patience of a ten-year old with ADD on a truckload of methamphetamines. Bay can’t keep the camera still for a second to allow the audience to actually watch the battle, instead choosing to pan the camera around and around in a dizzying pattern. Just because the camera constantly moves doesn’t make the scene more interesting.

With so many new characters, many of the original characters that the audience have known and become attached to are marginalized here. Lennox and Epps barely factor into the film. While Sam and Mikaela were able to get in on some of the action in the first film, they’re relegated here to screaming at the top of their lungs or running away from explosions in slow motion. Ironhide and Ratchet, two of the only Transformers I can actually recognize, hardly do anything either. Even the Fallen, who is supposed to be the big bad, maybe only gets fifteen minutes of screen time and hardly seems anymore menacing than any other Decepticon. No, the Transformers who appear to get the most screen time are the Twins, Mudflap and Skids (one voiced by Reno Wilson, the other by Spongebob Squarepants himself, Tom Kenny), who have garnered a lot of controversy in the press. The pair have big ears, bugged out eyes, buck teeth (one of them gold), and speak in Ebonics. They’re stupid, illiterate and on a level of annoyance that rivals Jar Jar Binks. Remember that annoying, unfunny little robot from the first film? Well, Bay throws in two. There’s an evil version of the microscope Autobot, Perceptor, in The Doctor, a Decepticon microscope that turns into a spider-like robot with glasses that speaks in a German accent. Always one to run a crappy joke into the ground, Michael Bay also throws in Wheelie, an RC 4x4 who looks like Wall-E’s evil cousin and inexplicably speaks like an extra from Goodfellas. He humps Megan Fox’s leg too, not that I blame him.

Does the idea of a robot humping a woman’s leg not seem funny to you? Michael Bay apparently thought it was so hilarious; he also threw in two scenes of dogs humping each other. Bay’s excesses and lack of originality run deeper than just recycling the same shots in every one of his films. He repeats the same lame jokes that revel in the fact that they target the lowest common denominator. We get the robots with bad teeth as well as a butcher with bad teeth trying to earn money for dental work. There’s dry-humping, Transformer testicles and an exceedingly long gag involving Sam’s mother tripping out on pot brownies. Curse words are liberally dropped into dialogue that’s already as clunky as the Transformers themselves. For a film that’s essentially selling toys to kids, Revenge is hardly family friendly.

There are some positive contributions in Revenge. The special effects are the usual top-notch work from ILM. The Transformers fit seamlessly into their surroundings and there are moments where you believe they are standing side-by-side with their human compatriots. Catching the film in IMAX and seeing Optimus Prime in scale was pretty cool. Starscream (one of my favorite characters) gets a bit more to do in the sequel and his additional dialogue brings him more in line with his G1 incarnation.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is the perfect embodiment of every negative aspect of the summer blockbuster. It’s a film that panders to the bases, adolescent desires. It’s loud, obnoxious, and unrelenting. Its junk food and for some that’s more than enough to satisfy their appetites. The thing about junk food is, it gives you a quick fix, but you’re eventually left hungry for a real meal. Films like Iron Man and The Dark Knight proved you can be a big-budget action spectacle with a smart story and genuine emotion. Revenge simply substitutes noise and movement for any type of true emotional connection. The audience isn’t taken along for a journey as much as press ganged into it and yanked along. This is the type of messy sequel that was churned out of the Matrix and Pirates franchises. Whatever weak plot it possesses is only there to service a string of action scenes that are directed either blandly or nonsensically by Michael Bay.

Rating: * ½

The Taking of Pelham 123

The Taking of Pelham 123 - Dir. Tony Scott (2009)

This new version of The Taking of Pelham 123 is nominally a remake of the 1974 film starring Walter Matthau and Robert Shaw. That version itself was originally based on a novel by John Godey and the story was remade previously in 1998 as a made-for-TV film with Edward James Olmos and Vincent D’Onofrio. The basic premise of a thief hijacking a subway train remains the same, but the 2009 version tosses in a lot of flash while incorporating current technology and life in a post-9/11 New York.

Denzel Washington is Walter Garber, a former bigshot with the NYC Municipal Transit Authority, but a fall from grace reduces him to a desk job as a dispatcher. It’s just bad luck that he’s on the line when Ryder (John Travolta) and his gang hijack a subway train and demand $10 million dollars from the Mayor (James Gandolfini). In the original, the gang use color-coordinated code-names like Mr, Blue and Mr. Green which would Tarantino would pay homage to in Reservoir Dogs. Die Hard underground. That’s essentially the entire plot in a nutshell. There aren’t a whole lot of nuances to it.

Even stuck behind a desk, Denzel still possesses a commanding on-screen presence. What works for the film is the fact that his Garber is not a standard action hero. He’s not a cop, just a former white-collar executive. For the most part, Garber’s interactions with Ryder are over the radio as they play mind games with each other while revealing bits and pieces of their past. What doesn’t work is the third act when they turn Garber into the gun-toting action man. While Denzel gives a strong, but restrained performance, Travolta gives an over-the-top, cartoonish performance. Travolta dons a knit skullcap, Fu Manchu-esque mustache, and tattoos in a failed attempt to look menacing. He screams at the top of his lungs and drops F-bombs for every other word because he’s crazy. That’s what crazy people do after all, kill innocent people and call them ‘motherfuckers.’

Any semblance of tension or drama is stripped away by Tony Scott’s predilections for frenetic camera work. His films for the last several years for have been oversaturated with superfluous camera movements, editing tricks, and bleached out colors. Pelham 123 is downright restrained when compared to Domino, but Scott still fails to realize whip pans and MTV trickery can never replace good, solid storytelling.

Rating: **

Away We Go

Away We Go - Dir. Sam Mendes (2009)

Sam Mendes made his feature film debut with the Academy Award-winning American Beauty, a film that is practically the dictionary definition of the suburban malaise subgenre. Mendes would return to that subject matter with the relentlessly dour Revolutionary Road. Mendes decided to follow that up with lighter fare while still touching on similar topics with Away We Go. The screenplay was written by the husband-and-wife duo of Dave Eggers and Vendela Vida who likely tapped into their own lives for this dramedy about the anxiety of raising a family.

John Krasinski and Maya Rudolph star as Burt and Verona Farlander (get it?), an insurance salesman and a medical illustrator who await the birth of their first child. The couple is in their mid-30’s and live a low-budget Bohemian lifestyle in their ramshackle home. Verona’s parents passed away while she was in college and is apprehensive about becoming a mother. She worries that they are “fuck-ups” as she stares at a piece of cardboard where a window should be. They look towards Burt’s parents (played by Jeff Daniels and Catherine O’Hara) for help with impending parenthood until Ma and Pa Farlander announce they’re moving to Belgium. With an anchor no longer tying them down, Burt and Verona head off for a road trip to find the perfect place for their unborn child’s upbringing.

Their quest first brings them to Phoenix where they meet Verona’s former boss, the loud and abrasive, Lily (Allison Janney), and her subdued and henpecked husband, Lowell (Jim Gaffigan). Their next stop is Madison, Wisconsin, where they stop by to see Burt’s old college friend, Ellen (Maggie Gyllenhaal) who is now an ultra-pretentious, New Age hippie professor known as LN. Along with her pony-tailed husband, LN still breast feeds her children and her whole family sleeps in one, big bed. She believes in having sex in front of them, but not in strollers. ”Why would I want to push my child away?” The trip takes a positive turn when they hit Toronto to visit Tom (Chris Messina) and Munch (Melanie Lynskey) who seem to be the most well-adjusted and content of their friends. They’re happily married and raising a large family of adopted children, but there’s pain hidden beneath their otherwise blissful exteriors.

Away We Go is like the Voltron of bad indie films. It’s as if they took five smaller independent films and combined them into one. Away We Go is full of self-consciously quirky situations set to a soundtrack of college radio folk rock. Almost everyone the Farlanders meet in the first half of the film are caricatures. Burt’s parents are self-absorbed and bourgeois, the others are wacky for wacky’s sake. When LN is introduced, the story veers way off course and into a whole other picture. Her character is so ridiculous it breaks any boundaries of believability. She also throws the film off-balance when the story shifts towards a more grounded and melancholy approach. The acting is strong across the board with Allison Janney being particularly funny as the obliviously obnoxious Lily. Krasinski displays the same goofy charm he does on The Office here and gives some of the film’s best moments during a pair of mock arguments in an attempt to get the fetus’s heart rate up. Maya Rudolph is the revelation of Away We Go. Most people will know Rudolph for her comedic talents on Saturday Night Live. Here, she displays a subdued sense of humor and a knack for the more dramatic scenes. But, the cast just isn’t enough to support the weight of a weak, derivative script that lacks any genuine emotion.

When Mendes departs from the suburbs, he can make some great films (Road to Perdition, Jarhead). He’s currently working on an adaptation of the Preacher comic book series with screenwriter John August. The project has been in development for years and I hope they can pull it off.

Rating: * 1/2

Up

Up - Dirs. Pete Docter & Bob Peterson (2009)

Pixar has come up with a novel approach to their films. They create characters that you actually care about. Every multi-million dollar CGI creature out there will never hold a candle to the odd assortment of protagonists that star in Pixar’s latest Up. Hell, the characters in the short cartoon before the feature film are more interesting than any of Michael Bay’s explosion pornos. Up was co-directed and co-written by Pete Docter (Monster’s Inc.) and Bob Peterson (a screenwriter on Finding Nemo) with Thomas McCarthy (The Station Agent, The Visitor) also receiving story credit.

Up immediately tugs at your heart strings in its opening prologue. We meet Carl Fredericksen, a short, shy kid with huge glasses who is obsessed with adventurer Charles Muntz (Christopher Plummer). Carl meets and falls in love with Ellie, a neighbor girl who is his exact opposite. She’s wild-haired, boisterous, and energetic. What follows is a montage of their lives together as they get married and dream of moving to South America. Ellie eventually passes away, leaving Carl an old curmudgeon living (now voiced by Ed Asner and visually inspired by Spencer Tracy) alone in the house they built together. When his neighborhood is torn down for redevelopment, Carl saves his home by turning it into a makeshift airship, attaching a horde of helium balloons to it. He hopes to fly it to the mythical Paradise Falls which had been discovered by Muntz decades ago.

Carl doesn’t realize he has a stowaway in young Russell (Jordan Nagai), a Wilderness Explorer who can’t seem to stop talking. Carl meets up with more unwanted guests such as an exotic bird that Russell names Kevin and Dug (Peterson), a dog who can speak with aid from a special collar. The collar is an ingenious device to get around the usually hokey Disney staple of talking animal sidekicks. Dug is one of a pack of trained dogs that belong to Muntz who is still alive and gone all Captain Ahab in his obsessive search for the bird.

It should go without saying that Up is flawlessly animated and a gorgeous feast for the eyes. Nobody does computer animation better than Pixar. The story itself is delightful full of humor, adventure and drama. The script prides itself on being intelligently written and believable, despite the wacky situations. It doesn’t rely on the lazy pop culture references that dominate most CGI films in a pandering attempt to win over older audience members. There is actual emotional investment in the journey of the heroes. Docter and Peterson write their characters not as cartoons, but as real people. Carl is believable as an elderly widower while Russell behaves exactly like a kid his age. Even Dug speaks in the exact manner you expect a dog would.

I’m sure if I thought long and hard, I could find a few chinks in the armor of Up. But, right now, I can’t think of any and I honestly don’t want to. This is worthy follow-up to Wall-E and definitely one of the best of the Pixars. Up cements the fact that it may be nearly impossible for Pixar to make a terrible movie.

I’ve seen it twice so far, once in 2D and again in 3D. While the 3D looks great, it doesn’t offer that much more than the 2D version. I didn’t feel the world was opened up enough and, as Roger Ebert stated in his review, the 3D process does tend to mute the exceptional color palette of the film. 2D or 3D, just see the film.

Rating: ****

The Hangover

The Hangover - Dir. Todd Phillips (2009)

The Hangover is crude, low-brow and profane. It’s a film that signifies the continuing collapse of decency in society. And I loved nearly every minute of it. Todd Phillips, the director of Old School, returns to the theme of the man-child giving in to his rampaging id with hilarious results.

Doug (Justin Bartha) is about to get married and heads off to Vegas with his buddies for a one last night of debauchery. Doug’s pals include: Phil (Bradley Cooper), a married man and prep school teacher who obviously longs for his frat boy days; Stu (Ed Helms), a nerdy dentist trapped in an unhealthy a harpy named Melissa (played by Helms’ fellow Daily Show alumnus Rachael Harris); and Alan (Zach Galifianakis), his future brother-in-law. Alan is socially awkward and looking for acceptance within Doug’s circle of close friends. He’s practically a big baby which is never more evident than a scene where Galifianakis stands there in his tightie whities.

The quartet checks into a luxurious suite at Caesar’s Palace (at the cost of an obscene $4200 per night) before having a toast on the hotel’s roof. They wake up the next morning and have no memory of what’s happened since then. Their suite is trashed, Stu is missing a tooth, Doug is gone, and there’s a baby and a tiger. Oh, and they’ve been driving around in a stolen police car. What follows is a bumbling amateur detective story as the protagonists attempt to piece together their missing memories. Some of the highlights include Stu marrying a stripper played by Heather Graham (who never looked more gorgeous) and a memorable run-in with Mike Tyson. If you’ve seen the trailer then you know what I’m talking about.

The trailer got an uproarious reaction from audiences and no doubt spread word like wildfire. The Hangover did nearly $45 million on opening weekend and thus far has made over $200 million worldwide. The trailer was so good, you worry that it gave away all the best parts of the film. Galifianakis takes a taser to the face while Tyson sings along to “In the Air Tonight.” While memorable scenes, The Hangover still brings plenty of funny with outrageous situations. Galifianakis provides some of the film’s best one-liners due to his character’s child-like naiveté. Cooper is perfect in the role of the cocky pretty boy and Helms is excellent as the straight man, playing off wonderfully with his cast mates. Bartha is something of a non-entity since he disappears for much of the film, but it’s no big loss.

The first two-thirds of the film are great along with the photo montage during the end credits. Really, the film only sputters during the final act after most of the events of the last night have been revealed. Another misstep is Ken Jeong in a small role as a mobster who is both stereotypically Asian and stereotypically gay.

It’s hard to believe such an amusing film was written by Jon Lucas and Scott Moore, the team who also wrote the unfunny turds, Four Christmases and The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past. The Hangover won’t be to everyone’s taste, but I’ll rank it as one of the funniest movies of the year so far. There’s not much coming in the second half of 2009 that look like it’ll give Hangover a run for its money.

P.S. – If I pay eight bucks for a film, I demand to see both of Heather Graham’s boobs. Not just one.

Rating: *** 1/2

The Brothers Bloom

The Brothers Bloom - Dir. Rian Johnson (2009)


Rian Johnson made his debut as a feature filmmaker with Brick, a modern-day film noir set in a high school and starring that kid from 3rd Rock from the Sun. It could have been a complete joke, a retread of the Scott Baio vehicle, Bugsy Malone. Instead, it was a sharply written first-time effort, that was part Raymond Chandler, part John Hughes. For his second film, Johnson decided to tackle the heist film genre, inspired by films like The Sting and Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. And thus was born, The Brothers Bloom.

The titular siblings are Stephen (Mark Ruffalo) and Bloom (Adrien Brody). We’re not really sure if that’s his first or last name. I mean, are they like the Mario Brothers? Would that make them Stephen Bloom and Bloom Bloom? In any event, the pair are orphans and start off in the con game as kids where Stephen writes out the con as if he were a florid Russian novelist. His motto is the perfect con is the one where "everyone gets what they want." Bloom, however, grows weary of having his entire life written out for him and retired to Montenegro. Stephen eventually tracks him down with the help of their silent partner, an explosives expert named Bang Bang (Rinko Kikuchi). The brothers’ new mark is an eccentric heiress, Penelope Stamp (Rachel Weisz), who lives alone in her Xanadu-esque mansion collecting hobbies. She plays numerous musical instruments, dabbles in photography, juggling chainsaws, and crashing expensive Lamborghinis. Stephen’s Machiavellian plot this time around involves posting as art smugglers and coaxing Penelope for a globe-trotting adventure in order to bilk her of a couple million dollars. Of course, Bloom falls for her, putting a crimp in Stephen’s plans.

Rounding out the supporting cast are Robbie Coltrane as another cohort known only as the Belgian (though he may not actually be Belgian) and Maximillian Schell as the brothers’ former mentor, the Diamond Dog.

Many new filmmakers suffer a case of the sophomore slump after a strong debut. They get studio offers, bigger budgets, access to name actors, and a move towards the mainstream. Most fall short of the high expectations held by fans and critics. Shari Springer Bergman & Robert Pulcini followed up their excellent translation of Harvey Pekar’s semi-autobiographical comic book, American Splendor, with the anemic chick-lit adaptation The Nanny Diaries. Another example would be Justin Lin and pretty much everything he’s done since Better Luck Tomorrow. Though both of Johnson’s films exist in a nebulous time and place just outside of reality, Brothers Bloom is a drastic departure from the dour ambience of Brick, it remains a strong, if uneven, effort from Johnson.

Brothers Bloom is the type of film that relies on pulling a fast one on the audience which is part and parcel for a heist movie. There are plenty of twists and turns as the narrative unfolds. Much like Tony Gilroy’s Duplicity, Brothers Bloom tries to be too clever for its own good. It’s self-consciously quirky and feels awfully proud of itself for being able to reference James Joyce.

The film shines when it allows the characters to simply be. There’s great chemistry between Brody and Ruffalo who got along swimmingly off-screen. Both actors have a lot of fun with their roles. Rinko Kikuchi was one of the only bright spots of the insipid and preachy Babel and she shines in another silent role. She displays some excellent comic timing. The true star of the production is Rachel Weisz in one of her best roles. She’s funny, warm, and it’s easy to see how Brody’s character could so easily fall in love with her. I should also point out Ms. Weisz really did learn the ukulele, juggling, martial arts, skateboarding, and card tricks amongst other skills for the part.

The Brothers Bloom is The Sting if it had been directed by a less meticulous Wes Anderson. Johnson helms the picture with clever style and there are plenty of gorgeous locations. It’s a fun and breezy film, but it won’t leave much of an impression on you once the credits roll.

Rating: ** 1/2

Drag Me To Hell

Drag Me To Hell - Dir. Sam Raimi (2009)

Drag Me To Hell was hyped as a return to true horror. It also marks the return of Sam Raimi to the genre which kicked off his career. Raimi found initial success by rounding up friends and family to film, Evil Dead, a low-budget B-movie which spawned two sequels, comic books, video games, t-shirts, action figures, and made Bruce Campbell into a hero for countless fanboys all over the world. To this day, Raimi and Campbell still get asked at conventions and interviews about the possibilities of Evil Dead 4. Since the conclusion of the Evil Dead trilogy, Raimi has dabbled with various genres such as the Western (The Quick and the Dead) and even sports schmaltz (For the Love of the Game). He found his biggest success with the Spider-Man franchise, but the third film met with a lukewarm response from critics and die-hard fans. Clearly, Raimi was looking for a way to recharge his batteries before launching head first into the currently-in-development Spider-Man 4.

Raimi proves to have found his A-game from the opening moments of the film, featuring a vintage version of the Universal logo. Drag Me To Hell mines the current economic woes and mortgage crisis for its premise which centers on loan officer Christine Brown (Alison Lohman). Brown is bucking for the promotion to her branch’s assistant manager position, but her boss, Mr. Jacks (David Paymer), is also eyeing a shameless brown-noser named Stu Rubin (Reggie Lee). When an old Gypsy woman, Mrs. Ganush (Lorna Raver), begs for an extension on her overdue mortgage, Christine can only eye the empty desk and turns her down. As usual, pissing off a crazy old Gypsy woman turns out to be a bad idea as Mrs. Ganush attacks Christine in the parking garage and places a curse on her. In three days time, a demon called the Lamia will come and drag her to Hell. Christine looks for help from her disbelieving boyfriend, Clay Dalton (Justin Long), and strip mall psychic, Rham Jas (Dileep Rao).

Drag Me To Hell is a welcome breath of fresh air as the horror genre stagnates amidst the rampant glut of torture porn, endless remakes, and the cannibalization of the once trendsetting Asian market. The film is rated PG-13 which seems to be the popular target for studios today. However, Raimi isn’t hampered by the limitations choosing to work within PG-13 standards. He is in rare form using many of his trademark techniques (quick zooms, titled angles) to create a fun and creepy horror film without relying on buckets of blood and gore. It’s a testament to Raimi’s skills that he can make a handkerchief scarier than any dismembered torsos.

Raimi’s penchant for gallows’ humor and over-the-top grotesqueries are in full effect here. Drag features a down and dirty brawl between Christine and Mrs. Ganush. You’d think a fight between a banker and an elderly lady would be rather tame. Instead, this is one nasty scuffle with Ganush even attempting to gum Christine to death. There are other sequences involving a corpse full of formaldehyde and the desecration of a grave that are both wicked and innovative.

If Drag has any weak points, it’s a completely predictable twist in the third act and the film’s fairly nondescript characters that keep it from being a true classic. Still, there’s never a dull moment and this is definitely one of the best horror films to the screens in years.

Rating: ***1/2