Total Recall

Total Recall - Dir. Len Wiseman (2012)

Philip K. Dick is one of science fiction's most renowned and prolific authors. His works have been adapted into feature films numerous times with varying results. While it didn't exactly capture the spirit of the original short story, "We Can Remember It for You Wholesale," Total Recall has etched its place in the movie history as a classic action film. And so it goes that Hollywood combs its own past successes in search of a quick buck.

The remake is set during the tail end of the 21^st century in a world ravaged by global war. The only countries left standing are UK, now known as the United Federation of Britain, and the former Australia, now called the Colony. Instead of Austrian powerhouse Arnold Schwarzenegger, we have Irish bad boy Colin Farrell in the lead role of Douglas Quaid, an unassuming factory worker from the Colony. He and hundreds of other blue collar joes commute to and fro aboard the Fall, a massive transport system that tunnels through the center of the Earth. Quaid is listless about his mundane life, despite being married to the gorgeous Lori (Kate Beckinsale). One day, he decides to visit Rekall, a company that purports to realize your deepest fantasies through implanted memories. Just as the technicians at Rekall are about to put Quaid through the procedure, they discover his mind is already full of false memories. Armed gunmen burst into the building shooting everyone before Quaid guns them down with shocking ease.

Quaid learns he may actually be an agent for the resistance against the corrupt Federation chancellor Vilos Cohaagen (Bryan Cranston). His "wife" Lori attempts to kill Quaid at every turn and the only one who may be able to save him is a beautiful freedom fighter named Melina (Jessica Biel).

Mars and mutants are no more as the remake keeps its feet firmly planted on Earth. In place of exotic, red sands, we have a futuristic cityscape paying homage to Blade Runner (another Dick adaptation) and Terry Gilliam's Brazil. Due to rampant overpopulation, the Colony looks like a dozen Hong Kongs built on top of each other. Technology has yielded innovative devices such as a cell phone implanted into the palm of your hand and an army of robotic police sentries. In fact, Quaid works as a riveter ironically building the very automatons that will oppress his people. The robots serve a secondary function as a method to sanitize the violence of its R-rated predecessor to a palpable PG-13. Quaid rips the arms off a machine rather than a human being and doesn't spout a witty one-liner afterwards.

Paul Verhoeven's Total Recall was marked by gratuitous nudity and over-the-top violence. It possessed a satirical take on America's culture of consumerism and capitalism, which was also heavily present in Robocop. Len Wiseman's remake lacks any of the campy charm Verhoeven injected in favor of a pedestrian actioner that could have rolled off the same assembly line as its robot police force. Wiseman, who previously helmed the first two Underworld films as well as Live Free or Die Hard, is a decent action director, but one without an innovative bone in his body. Two of the major set pieces involve a flying car chase and a parkour inspired foot race through the rooftops of the vertically stacked Colony. Neither of them offers genuine thrills though the CGI is impressive. One sequence that could have been unique was a zero gravity shootout that is all too brief. Wiseman even cribs from the JJ Abrams playbook by punctuating Recall with obtrusive lens flare.

Fans hoping for a more faithful version of the source material will be disappointed. The screenplay was written by Kurt Wimmer (Equilibrium) and Mark Bomback (Unstoppable) with an uncredited rewrite by James Vanderbilt (The Amazing Spider-Man). All three authors skew too closely to the first film and never blur the line between reality and fantasy. The original Recall suffered through nearly fifty rewrites and at one point had David Cronenberg, whose forte was mind fucking the audience, attached to direct. While Verhoeven's Recall merely touches upon the possibility that Arnold may still be at Rekall, the remake never offers anything more than a straightforward narrative.

For his part, Colin Farrell gives a solid performance, but plays it too cool at times. He's always in control of the situation and never as befuddled as Arnold. Whether or not that was an intentional choice by the former governor, I'll leave it up to you. Kate Beckinsale isn't as sultry as Sharon Stone, but she's far more ruthless. Lori is Cohaagen's primary enforcer and pursues Quaid with the dogged determination of a T-800. Jessica Biel doesn't leave much of an impression and Bryan Cranston is rather wasted in his scant role as the villain. The same goes for Bill Nighy as clandestine revolutionary Matthias.

Total Recall or Total Rehash? In spite of some significant changes, the new Total Recall is almost step-by-step a straight remake of the original film, but without any discernable personality. All the three-breasted hookers in the world can't help them there. If you haven't seen the original movie, you may find the remake to be a passable action flick.

Rating: ** (*****)

Underworld: Awakening

Underworld Awakening – Dirs. Bjorn Stein & Mans Marlind (2012)

How do you like your vampires? Do you prefer them to be bloodsucking creatures of the night? Or pale and sparkly pretty boys? If you like them to be hot chicks in skintight vinyl, then Underworld: Awakening might satisfy your vampiric appetite.

Kate Beckinsale returns to the role of Selene, a vampire over 600 years old. Known as a Death Dealer, she was one of the best warriors in the vampires' conflict with the werewolves also known as Lycans. During the first two films, Selene fell in love with Michael Corvin (Scott Speedman, who declined to reprise the role), a human who was transformed into the first ever vampire/Lycan hybrid.

Awakening is set not long after the second film with the humans becoming aware of the existence of vampires and Lycans. Attempting to flee the city, Michael is seemingly killed and Selene is captured. She is placed in cryogenic stasis by a pharmaceutical company called Antigen. She is awakened twelve years later by another test subject named Eve (India Eisley), who is actually her daughter grown in a laboratory. In this new world, the Lycans have been hunted almost to extinction and the remaining vampire covens are in hiding.

Other characters include: Stephen Rea as Antigen's CEO Dr. Jacob Lane,; Charles Dance as the leader of one of the last vampire clans; Theo James as his whip wielding son; and Michael Ealy as a sympathetic police detective.

It's not much of a compliment, but Underworld: Awakening is the superior film in the series. The first two films were dull and bogged down by a convoluted mythology. The third film, Rise of the Lycans, was a glorified direct-to-video picture that delved even further into the boring backstory. Awakening is a lean, mean action machine directed by the Swedish team of Mars Marlind and Bjorn Stein. There's not a lot of plot, but plenty of sequences with Beckinsale slipping on a trenchcoat in slow motion and leaping off tall buildings before landing in an overly dramatic way. Yes, she looks pretty damn sexy when she's unloading a pair of Berettas.

Despite being rather thin, the screenplay is credited to a quartet of writers that includes Len Wiseman (who directed Underworld & Underworld: Evolution, Jon Hlavin, Allison Burnett, and J. Michael Straczynski. Awakening was probably a quick and easy payday for everyone involved. The story owes a lot to the Resident Evil franchise with the female protagonist, semi-futuristic dystopian setting, and a shady conglomerate as the villain. The dialogue is terrible and you're just counting the seconds before shit starts blowing up again.

Don't expect anything new from the Lycans. They are the same as ever, snarling creatures rendered by iffy CGI. The best anyone could come up with is a giant Jurassic Park-sized werewolf that can swat Selene away with ease.

By the way, I saw the movie in plain old 2D. Considering the film's look hinges on a dark and icy blue palette, I doubt it would be very watchable in 3D.

Much like, Contraband, another recent Kate Beckinsale picture, Underworld: Awakening is a prime example of the detritus generally released without much fanfare at the beginning of the year. Fans of the other installments will get their money's worth. I just find it sad that people would rather see this than Haywire.

Rating: ** (*****)

Contraband

Contraband - Dir. Baltasar Kormákur (2012)

Stupid 9/11 comments aside, I like Mark Wahlberg. As evidenced by this turns in The Happening and The Lovely Bones, he's not a nuanced thespian capable of heavy drama. But, he is an underrated comedic performer and a convincing big screen tough guy. Much like Vin Diesel or Jason Statham, Walhberg could be a more prolific action star if he found better roles. Instead, he's content for run-of-the-mill pictures like Shooter, Max Payne, and now Contraband.

Contraband is a loose remake of a 2008 Icelandic crime thriller called Reykjavik-Rotterdam whose star, Baltasar Kormákur is the director of the Hollywood version. Wahlberg plays Chris Farraday, a former smuggler who has gone legit and works as an installer of home security systems in New Orleans. Kate Beckinsale is his wife, also named Kate, and they have two sons together.

Kate's dumbass kid brother, Andy (Caleb Landry Jones), is still involved in the smuggling business. Now, he owes $700,000 to a violent gangster named Tim Briggs (Giovanni Ribisi) after tossing a shipment of cocaine into the water during a surprise customs search. Chris is forced to intervene when Briggs not only threatens Andy, but his whole family. Chris assembles a small crew on board a cargo ship in order to smuggle $15 million in counterfeit bills from Panama to pay off the debt.

Contraband is formulaic through and through. This is your basic "one last job" movie where the protagonist must pull off a big heist for a massive payday. Murphy's Law always seems to rear its ugly head and no plan ever comes off without a hitch. In Wahlberg's case, he has to deal with a crooked captain (J.K. Simmons) and a psycho crime lord (Diego Luna) who ropes him into an armored car robbery.

There's not much here to differentiate Contraband from the numerous pictures just like it. I do like that the hero is a smuggler rather than an overused profession like a bank robber or hitman. The bulk of the film is set on the cargo ship, which is another unique setting. Yet, Contraband doesn't delve deeper into either element. It's not interested in the intricacies of the smuggling trade, just generic shaky cam action sequences.

J.K Simmons is pretty much the best thing in the movie, bringing much welcomed humor to the role of the uptight captain. Giovanni Ribisi goes way over the top as a tatted up scumbag with a nasally voice. Ben Foster co-stars as Chris's best friend, Sebastian, who has also gone legit and is a recovering alcoholic. Foster is intense as usual, but with an understated quietness. There is a twist to his character that anyone can see coming a mile away. Finally, there's poor Kate Beckinsale. If you want to see her kicking ass, watch Underworld: Awakening. If you want to see Beckinsale in the thankless role of damsel in distress, see Contraband.

Contraband isn't a terrible movie, but it is indicative of the generic flotsam dumped by the studios during the uneventful early part of the year.

Rating: ** (*****)

Everybody's Fine

Everybody's Fine - Dir. Kirk Jones (2009)


Daniel Day-Lewis took on the Marcello Mastroianni role in Nine, a musical based on Fellini’s 8 ½, which I recently reviewed. Here, it is Robert DeNiro’s turn to take on Mastroianni’s part in Everybody’s Fine, a remake of a 1990 Italian film directed by Giuseppe Tornatore (Cinema Paradiso). DeNiro plays Frank Goode, a retired laborer, who manufactured the coating that wrapped around the telephone wires strung across the state of New York. Goode suffers from health problems due to exposure to the toxic ingredients, but he has no regrets. He did it all to provide his children with the best life possible. Frank, a widower, eagerly anticipates the arrival of his kids, who he hasn’t seen since the funeral, for Thanksgiving dinner. However, the children cancel at the last minute.

Frank figures if they won’t come to him, he’ll come to them. Against his doctor’s advice, Frank travels by train and bus to visit his offspring spread across the country. His first stop is to New York City where his son David, an artist, isn’t at home in his apartment close to an art gallery where his work is displayed. Frank heads to Chicago to see his eldest daughter Amy (Kate Beckinsale), an ad executive living in a modern home with her husband and son. In Denver, Frank visits Robert (Sam Rockwell), a supposed symphony conductor who turns out to only be a percussionist. In Las Vegas, Frank sees Rosie (Drew Barrymore), a dancer living in an affluent apartment looking over the strip.

With each subsequent visit, Frank senses that the Goode clan is keeping secrets from him, especially about David’s whereabouts. Mom was the one they could open up to while dad was always the stern taskmaster. Even into adulthood, they are still the little kids afraid of disappointing their father.

It’s refreshing to see DeNiro in a role where he’s not an intense mobster or a hard-nosed cop. DeNiro is allowed to simply be DeNiro here. The same goes for Drew Barrymore who is her usual bright, perky self. Sam Rockwell provides one of the film’s best performances and Kate Beckinsale does just fine. However, I never once bought them as a family because they didn’t look like they were related one bit. They looked like a bunch of movie stars we’re supposed to believe are related. This isn’t the only inauthentic element of Everybody’s Fine. I don’t mean the badly Photoshopped poster. The story is just so trite and schmaltzy while Kirk Jones directs it like a Lifetime movie of the week. The worst offense comes in the climax when Frank (after suffering a heart attack) has a dream where he has a backyard BBQ with David, Robert, Amy, and Rosie as kids. All his revealed then the clouds turn gray and rain pours down in melodramatic fashion.

Everybody’s Fine is a shallow film masquerading as one with deeper meaning.

Rating: **

Whiteout

Whiteout - Dir. Dominic Sena (2009)


2008 was a tremendous year for comic book movies thanks to runaway hits like Iron Man and The Dark Knight. They were joined by Hellboy II: The Golden Army and Wanted. That definitely made summer a happy time for fanboys even if the year ended on a sour note because of the box office bombs that were Punisher: War Zone and The Spirit. 2010 should be another big year with Iron Man 2, Kick-Ass, and Scott Pilgrim vs. The World looming. It seems 2009 is the largely ignored middle child. Watchmen kicked things off in March while X-Men Origins: Wolverine opened the summer blockbuster season to big bucks and negative reviews. The next two comic book films, however, weren’t based on superheroes.

Whiteout is based on a graphic novel by crime novelist Greg Rucka with art by Steve Lieber and published by Oni Press. Rucka is one of DC Comics’ top writers and his other creator-owned series, Queen & Country is also in development. The film version of Whiteout takes a fantastic concept and tells it in the most predictable and pedestrian way possible.

Kate Beckinsale plays Carrie Stetko, a United States Marshal assigned to McMurdo Research Station in Antarctica. Stetko is haunted by her last case when she was betrayed by her partner and nearly killed. She takes the position in Antarctica to escape and deal with cases no more serious than missing equipment. Everything changes when the first murder in Antarctica occurs. A body is found out in the ice and Stetko must unravel the mystery as bodies pile up and a masked killer armed with a pick-axe runs loose. She is assisted by Robert Pryce (Gabriel Macht), a U.N. investigator; Delfy (Columbus Short), a young pilot; and friend Dr. John Fury (Tom Skerritt). The film’s ticking clock comes from the fact that the station’s crew is preparing to return home before a violent snowstorm hits the area making flights completely impossible.

Whiteout took a long, hard road through development hell to get to the big screen. It was originally optioned back in 1999 by Columbia then passed to Universal where Reese Witherspoon was attached to star and produce until departing. Whiteout finally went into production in 2007, but sat on the shelf until this past September where it was quickly forgotten. You’d think somewhere along the line, somebody would have done an extensive re-write on the script. The film plays out like a leftover episode of one of the many police procedurals that clog television airwaves. CSI: Antarctica, so to speak. The film opens with a prologue that gives away a major second act revelation. The rest of the picture is similarly lacking in mystery. The characters may be snow blind, but the audience can see everything coming a mile away.

Rating: **