Sylvester Stallone is an action movie icon. He found worldwide success with the Rocky and Rambo franchises before an ill-fated attempt to branch into comedy nearly derailed his career. I’m sure I’m not the only one who’d like to forget about the existence of Oscar and Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot. Stallone returned to his action roots with Cliffhanger and Demolition Man, but things just seemed to go so terribly wrong after that. He starred in a series of forgettable flops like Judge Dredd, Assassins, and a poorly advised remake of the classic revenge film Get Carter. It seemed there was no place in the world for the alpha male hero of the 80’s. Stallone seemed to be passé and destined to drift into the direct-to-video world inhabited by Steven Seagal and Jean Claude-Van Damme. Oddly enough both were approached for Stallone's new film, The Expendables, but both turned down the opportunity.
No doubt that predicament was exactly what the Italian Stallion needed to mount an impressive comeback in the 21st century. Stallone returned to his roots once more and resurrected Rocky Balboa and John Rambo for one more go. Examining their place in this modern world, Stallone found there was still life left in a punch drunk has-been boxer and a burnt out Vietnam vet.
Now in his mid-60’s, Stallone is experiencing something of a renaissance period. It wasn’t so long ago that Rambo could easily cut down a hundred bad guys by himself with a machine gun that never needed reloading. In Rambo, he had help from a ragtag group of mercenaries. There’s nothing ragtag about the mercenaries in The Expendables. Stallone has assembled an all-star collection of tough guys to kick some serious ass.
Stallone is Barney Ross, the leader of the Expendables. His best friend and right-hand man is Lee Christmas (Jason Statham), a skilled knife-throwing marksman. Also on the team are Yin Yang (Jet Li), Toll Road (UFC fighter Randy Couture), Hale Caesar (Terry Crews), and the unstable Gunner Jensen (Dolph Lundgren). They have tattoos, ride motorcycles, and have code-names that sound like bad G.I. Joe characters. Still, the Expendables are way tougher than the A-Team and the Losers.
The Expendables begins with the team rescuing hostages from a crew of bloodthirsty Somali pirates. After the battle, Gunner is dumped from the group due to his apparent drug use. In one of the film’s best scenes, Stallone reunites with his Planet Hollywood buddies Bruce Willis and the Governator, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Arnold plays a rival soldier of fortune while Willis plays the mysterious Mr. Church who propositions Stallone for a risky mission.
Ross is hired to topple a tin-plated dictator named General Garza (David Zayas) in the South American island nation of Vilena. Ross and Christmas scout out the island and meet their contact, the beautiful Sandra (Giselle Itie), who turns out to be Garza’s daughter. Our heroes discover Garza is in the pocket of rogue CIA agent James Munroe (Eric Roberts) who is using the island as a base for his drug trade. Working as Munroe’s henchmen are British kickboxer Gary Daniels and WWE Hall of Famer “Stone Cold” Steve Austin. Surmising that they’d be cleaning up the Agency’s own mess, they turn down the job. However, Ross finds himself inspired by Sandra and the Expendables arrive in full force to blow shit up and blow it up good.
Expendables is meant to be a throwback to the action films of the 80’s which featured ridiculous balls-to-the-wall violence, gratuitous nudity, and witty one-liners. Stallone tries to capture the spirit of movies like Commando and Delta Force. Unfortunately, he doesn’t really succeed until the last half hour of the picture.
Following the opening sequence, the film drifts around aimlessly as it works to introduce the various characters. Stallone and co-writer David Callaham toss in a superfluous subplot involving Christmas’s girlfriend, Lacy (Charisma Carpenter), and an abusive boyfriend. The first two acts sag into a quagmire of labored and uninteresting scenes when all you want to see are explosions. The banter between comrades falls flat. About the only moment that comes to life is the scene involving Stallone, Willis, and Schwarzenegger which includes a hilarious dig at Ol’ Arnold. Stallone aims to be the world weary soldier, but he is utterly outmatched in the world weary department by Mickey Rourke. As a retired Expendable turned tattoo artist, Rourke lends a surprising amount of soulfulness to the proceedings. It makes you wish he had a lot more scenes.
After dragging its heels for about an hour, Expendables finally kicks it into high gear when the good guys storm the bad guys’ stronghold. Stallone utilizes the same visceral carnage of the last Rambo film. Human bodies are ripped to shreds by machine gun fire and necks are broken emphatically. Couture and Austin aren’t the only ones who get to bust out MMA and pro wrestling maneuvers. Oh, and Terry Crews hurls an artillery shell with his bare hands. Even though Stallone tries for an old school feel, he falls into the trap so many action directors stumble into. His shots are in too tight and the editing too quick and jumpy for anyone to actually see what's happening on screen.
Stallone should be commended for returning us to the clean, old fashioned fun that comes from mindlessly violent entertainment. However, you wished he had incorporated even more mindlessly violent entertainment. The Expendables is a good action movie, just not a great one.
Rating: ** ½
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