Les Misérables

Les Misérables - Dir. Tom Hooper (2012)

I had a dream my life would be

So different from this hell I'm living

So different now from what it seemed

Now life has killed the dream I dreamed

One of the most popular and enduring versions of Victor Hugo's 1862 novel, Les Misérables, has been the stage musical. It initially began as a concept album with music by Claude-Michel Schonberg and lyrics from Alain Boublil and Jean-Marc Natel. Cameron Mackintosh, the producer behind Broadway blockbusters Cats and The Phantom of the Opera, saw the potential and mounted a production in London before taking it to the Big Apple. Les Misérables stands as one of the longest running Broadway shows ever, opening in 1987 before closing in 2003. While there have been many movie adaptations of the original novel, the musical version has never been brought to the silver screen until now.

The story begins in 1815 with Jean Valjean (Hugh Jackman), a recently released convict who has served nineteen years in prison for stealing a loaf of bread to feed his starving family and attempting to escape. Branded as a dangerous man, Valjean has nowhere to stay and no chance of finding honest work. A kindly Bishop (Colm Wilkinson, who originated the role of Valjean in the London production) takes pity and gives Valjean some of the church valuables to start a new life. Under the name Madeleine, he becomes the mayor of Montreuil-sur-Mer and a respected factory owner. Unbeknownst to him, Fantine (Anne Hathaway), a young woman in his employ is unjustly fired by the lecherous foreman. She is forced to not only become a prostitute, but to sell her teeth and hair to support her daughter, Cosette (Isabelle Allen), who is under the care of the cruel Thérnardiers (Sacha Baron Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter). On Fantine's deathbed, Valjean promises to rescue only to be confronted by the relentless Inspector Javert (Russell Crowe). He spends years trying to live a peaceful life with Cosette with Javert constantly at his heels until a revolution explodes onto the streets of Paris.

Les Misérables isn't like your typical musical. It's more of an operetta in that nearly all of the dialogue is sung and there aren't any dance sequences. Rather than recorded separately, the songs were performed live on set to allow a more nuanced performance. Hugh Jackman, with his passion for musicals and experience on stage, equates himself superbly as Jean Valjean. The same goes for Anne Hathaway, who earned an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress as the ever suffering Fantine. Hathaway commands the screen for the show-stopping "I Dreamed a Dream," which was captured entirely in close-up and in one take. She belts a soulful rendition that will wring tears from anyone, except the most cold hearted. Though Jackman and Hathaway got the lion's share of attention during awards season, the film's best performance belongs to Samantha Barks, who made her feature film debut with Les Misérables. Barks played the role of the Thérnardiers' daughter, Eponine, on stage and reprises the role here. She can act and carry tune and does so admirably during the rain-soaked ballad, "On My Own." The one weak link in an otherwise strong ensemble is Russell Crowe as Javert whose rigid moral code allows no mercy for his prey. In a straight adaptation of the novel, Crowe would have been an excellent casting choice. However, his vocal efforts leave much to be desired. Despite his experience as a musician and frontman, Crowe's singing comes off as flat and lacking the emotional range displayed by his co-stars.

Even with a generous runtime of over two and a half hours, Les Misérables occasionally stumbles in its attempts to juggle a myriad of plotlines. The romance between the adult Cosette (Amanda Seyfried) and rabble rouser Marius (Eddie Redmayne) is rushed as is the conclusion to Javert's story. Then, there's "Suddenly," a forgettable new tune composed simply to receive a nomination for Best Original Song. The passage of time isn't always properly conveyed with abrupt intertitles announce eight years have elapsed. It's hard to sense that Javert has been nipping at Valjean's heels for decades.

Les Misérables is the most expensive and ambitious project helmed by Tom Hooper, who multiple Best Director awards for The King's Speech. Be prepared as Hooper's penchant for awkward compositions and fish eye lens close-ups hasn't waned. When looking at the bigger picture, Hooper proves more than capable of handling the spectacle required of such a lavish production. The film opens right away with a collection of tattered convicts, waist deep in seawater, as they pull a warship into dry dock. The oafish Thérnardiers take the spotlight for "Master of the House," an intricately staged musical number in which the larcenous lovebirds pick the pockets of their unsuspecting guests. "One Day More" is a well-edited ensemble piece that cuts smoothly between multiple planes of action.

Les Misérables doesn't do subtle. This is a bombastic and surprisingly gritty musical full of heart-wrenching tragedy, romance, and pageantry.

Rating: *** (*****)

Pitch Perfect

Pitch Perfect - Dir. Jason Moore (2012)

The trailers made Pitch Perfect look like Glee: The College Years, which sounds about as entertaining as being waterboarded. However, this peppy little picture might be one of the nicest cinematic surprises of 2012.

The adorable Anna Kendrick stars as Beca, an aspiring DJ and record producer. Beca strikes a reluctant deal with her estranged father (John Benjamin Hickey), a professor at the fictional Barden University. Beca will attend for at least one year in order for daddy to pay for her move to Los Angeles.

At Barden, a capella is king and just about every clique is involved. The big men on campus are the Treble Makers while the most glamorous gals are The Barden Belles. There's even a stoner group known as The High Notes. The Belles saw their chance at winning nationals go up in smoke when co-captain Aubrey (Anna Camp) projectile vomited on stage. Aubrey isn't too happy when her best friend Chloe (Brittany Snow) recruits Beca and a motley crew of girls to rebuild the Belles. The new team must pull together if they want to make it to the championship in New York City. It won't be easy because Aubrey runs the team with an iron fist. She steadfastly sticks to a rigid regime with the Belles portrayed as prim and proper while performing ditties by Ace of Base and The Bangles. Meanwhile, Beca wants to change things up with a hipper and livelier set list.

Pitch Perfect was based on the non-fiction book by Mickey Rapkin, a senior editor at GQ, who covered a season of competitive collegiate a capella. Yes, that's a real thing. It was adapted for the screen by Kay Cannon, a writer/producer for 30 Rock and New Girl. She injects a quirky sense of humor to the film, which is skillfully handled by director Jason Moore, best known for the stage musical Avenue Q. Moore keeps the picture energetic as evidenced by a montage as hopefuls audition to Kelly Clarkson's "Since U Been Gone."

Pitch Perfect works because there isn't a cynical bone within its body. Yes, the whole idea may be silly, but the movie never treats its characters with any sort of snarky condescension. Perhaps, the most ridiculous sequence in Pitch Perfect is the Riff-Off as various groups do battle while armed with musical bullets from Rihanna, Salt-N-Pepa, and Foreigner. It might seem like an eye-rolling endeavor, but it's hard not to join in on the fun when everyone on screen is clearly enjoying themselves.

Anna Kendrick is an absolute delight though her star-crossed romance with Treble Maker Jesse (Skylar Austin) isn't as interesting as her interactions with the other girls. There's the usual second act breakup before they reunite in the third act. No, the camaraderie between the Belles forms the spine of Pitch Perfect with terrific performances by Rebel Wilson and Hana Mae Lee. Wilson is getting the lion's share of attention for her outrageous role as Fat Amy, who calls herself that so "twig bitches" don't do it behind her back. However, it is the relatively unknown Lee who makes a breakthrough appearance as the demure Lilly. She has a great singing voice, but her speaking voice barely registers as a whisper. Thankfully, no one can hear her because what she says are psychotic non sequitors ("I ate my twin in the womb."). Christopher Mintz-Plasse pops in for a cameo as do Donald Faison, Har Mar Superstar, and Joe Lo Truglio as an a capella group of alumni, who don't know when to leave campus. John Michael Higgins and Elizabeth Banks (who also produced) also appear as a pair of commentators in the vein of a Christopher Guest mockumentary. Do they actually have commentators for a capella?

Pitch Perfect does for a capella what Bring It On did for cheerleading and Step Up for street dance. Despite not being a fan of the majority of the music used, I thoroughly enjoyed the film. Even the most jaded moviegoer will have a tough time holding back the smile on their face.

Rating: *** (*****)

The Muppets

The Muppets - Dir. James Bobin (2011)

It's time to play the music
It's time to light the lights
It's time to meet the Muppets
On the Muppet Show tonight.

When Jason Segel met with Disney executives about making a new Muppet movie, they thought he was joking. Segel's life-long love for the characters shined through in the Dracula-themed musical from Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Segel and Marshall director Nicholas Stoller co-wrote this revival of the franchise that attempts to introduce the Muppets to a whole new audience.

Gary (Segel) and his twin brother Walter (voiced by Peter Linz) have lived all their lives in the happy Midwest burg of Smalltown, USA. Never mind the fact that Gary is a human and Walter is a puppet. Gary and his girlfriend, Mary (Amy Adams), are planning a trip to Hollywood. The romantic trip for two becomes a three's a company situation when Gary invites diehard Muppet fan Walter along to see the Muppets Studio. They are saddened to see it has been abandoned and left in disrepair. Walter is even more shocked when he overhears evil tycoon Tex Richman plans to tear down it down and drill for oil.

Walter, Gary, and Mary convince Kermit the Frog to reunite the Muppets and put on a show in order to save the studio. No easy task as everyone has gone their separate ways. Miss Piggy is living in Paris as the editor-in-chief for the French edition of Vogue. Gonzo is a successful manufacturer of bathroom fixtures, Fozzie plays with a tribute band called the Moopets, and Animal is in anger management.

While Segel should be commended for ushering in the return of the Muppets, the movie does get sidetracked by the human characters played by him and Adams. Both tackle their roles with an endearing earnestness, but the movie is called The Muppets for a reason. The complications in the romance between Gary and Mary aren't nearly as interesting as the on-again/off-again love story between Kermit and Miss Piggy. At times, Walter feels like a bland fan-fiction character that's being forced on the public, but his innocent charm is all that saves him from being a major annoyance.

Nitpicks aside, The Muppets is a witty and joyous picture strengthened by infectious musical numbers and clever meta-textual humor. The characters break the fourth wall on numerous occasions with jokes about montages and traveling by map ala Indiana Jones. Segel and Stoller's screenplay pays service to older fans with several references to The Muppet Movie, such as Sweetums appearance at the car dealership and Kermit's "standard rich and famous" contract. Segel also utilizes all the popular Muppets like Rowlf, Dr. Teeth, and the Swedish Chef and even some of the obscure ones like Lew Zealand and Uncle Deadly.

The new music of The Muppets won't stand the test of time the way "Rainbow Connection" has, but they are energetic and irreverent thanks to the supervision of Bret McKenzie from Flight of the Conchords. Conchords' director James Bobin also helmed the film. The opening number, "Life's a Happy Song," sets the stage for the rest of the movie with its old-fashioned, Music Man-style feel. The soundtrack also features the forlorn "Pictures in My Head" and the disco flavored "Me Party" sung by Miss Piggy and the delightful Amy Adams. There's also the bizarre experience of watching Chris Cooper rap about his villainous scheme with "Let's Talk About Me." They are bolstered by Muppet infused covers like a barbershop take on "Smells Like Teen Spirit" and a version of Cee-Lo Green's "F*ck You" sung by chickens ("Cluck You?"). Without a doubt, the number the best song on the soundtrack is the existential ballad, "Man or Muppet?" with a surprise cameo that received a rousing reaction from my audience.

Speaking of cameos, in grand Muppet tradition, The Muppets is littered with cameos that include Mickey Rooney, Zach Galifianakis, Neil Patrick Harris, and Sarah Silverman with James Carville as the most random. Some of the better cameos were Alan Arkin as a sardonic tour guide, Dave Grohl as the Moopets' drummer, and Emily Blunt essentially reprising her role from The Devil Wears Prada. Even more cameos from folks like Lady Gaga, Danny Trejo, and Ricky Gervais were left on the cutting room floor.

Despite a few minor quibbles, The Muppets is one of the most joyous cinematic experiences of the year. After modern missteps like Muppets from Space and the made-for-TV The Muppets' Wizard of Oz, Segel's Muppets puts Jim Henson's beloved creations on the right track and hearkens back to the heyday of The Muppet Movie and The Muppets Take Manhattan.

Rating: *** (*****)

The Nutcracker

The Nutcracker - Dir. Andrei Konchalovskiy (2010)

As a film critic, I am blessed to be able to review and discuss so many great films. The trade off is that I am often forced to sit through some truly terrible ones. But, never have I run into a movie so horrible that it actually made me question my choice to become a critic. Never until The Nutcracker, a movie so wretched that it not only made me question my career choices, but made me question the very purpose of my life. Yes, the sheer horrendousness of The Nutcracker actually shook me on an existential level.

Filmmaker Andrey Konchalovskiy has had a long and varied career. He co-wrote the screenplay for Andrei Rublev with the great Andrei Tarkovsky along with directing films like Runaway Train and Tango & Cash. Okay, so they all can't be winners. Still, Tango & Cash is a cinematic classic compared to The Nutcracker: The Untold Story, a decades old dream project of Konchalovskiy's. These dreams must have come after imbibing of too much egg nog and fruitcake. Konchalovskiy and co-writer Chris Solimine adapted their script from Tchaikovsky's famed ballet and E.T.A. Hoffman's original story, The Nutcracker and the Mouse King, which inspired it. There are also Nazis because everything is improved with the addition of Nazis.

The film is set in Vienna during the 1940's with young Mary (Elle Fanning) looking forward to spending Christmas with her family. Those hopes are dashed when her parents (Richard E. Grant and the director's wife, Yuliya Vysotskaya) plan to attend a lavish party with all the other bluebloods. She is further irritated by her younger brother, Max (Aaron Michael Drozin), when he callously breaks her toys. The holiday picks up when the children are visited by their eccentric Uncle Albert Einstein (Nathan Lane), who gifts Mary with a wooden nutcracker. Later that night, Mary is shocked when the Nutcracker (voiced by Shirley Henderson) comes to life. It turns out the Nutcracker, calling himself N.C., is really a prince who was transformed and banished from his land by the evil Rat King (John Turturro) and his goose-stepping minions. Together, Mary and N.C. embark on a quest to break the curse and liberate the prince's kingdom.

Konchalovskiy's production is a nightmarish melding of musical and dance while blatantly stealing from other fantasy works like The Wizard of Oz and Alice in Wonderland. Another character, a dreadlocked drummer boy named Sticks (Africa Nile), looks like he wandered away from the cast of Stomp. The second-rate Terry Gilliam style set designs and special effects range from downright laughable to ugly eyesores. There is absolutely no sense of grandeur. There's no sense of grace to the few dance numbers in the picture. The first is an approximation of the "Waltz of the Snowflakes" with Elle Fanning twirling around with snow fairies in front of some atrocious green screen work. Later, we get John Turturro effeminately prancing around before electrocuting a shark inside an aquarium tank in a random reference to contemporary artist Damien Hirst's The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living. I suppose the audience is supposed to think Konchalovskiy is incredibly cultured and intelligent for throwing this into a kids' movie.

The one good thing The Nutcracker has going for it are the renowned compositions by Tchaikovsky. Unfortunately, Konchalovskiy finds a way to ruin those by drowning them out with inane lyrics by Tim Rice, who has written lyrics for Andrew Lloyd Webber (Jesus Christ Superstar, Evita) and Disney (Beauty and the Beast, The Lion King). Don't expect comparable work here, Rice must have pulled stuff out of his ass for a quick paycheck. The music gets off to a rotten start with Nathan Lane and his cartoonish German accent crooning a Mary Poppins-esque ditty about relativity to "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies."

Despite advertising itself as a whimsical fantasy for the whole family, The Nutcracker has enough creepy imagery that parents should be warned. In fact, some adults may also find some of its elements to be disturbing as well. When angered, Turturro's face morphs into a more deformed rat-like visage that instantly reminded me of Large Marge from Pee Wee's Big Adventure. The wooden Nutcracker also has a sinister bent with his bulging, soulless eyes. There's also an unsettling monkey man. I haven't even gotten to how the rats are rounding up all the children's toys and throwing them into a massive crematorium. Talk about poor taste.

The Nutcracker was released into theaters at the end of 2010 around the same time as Sofia Coppola's Somewhere, which also starred Elle Fanning. You might notice she looks a lot younger here. That's because this film went into production in 2007 and set for a release in December of 2009 as The Nutcracker in 3D. However, the post-conversion process was so shoddily done that it was pushed back another year while the $65 million budget ballooned to a ridiculous $90 million.

Even when I have to write a bad review about a picture, I try to be diplomatic about it. I try to find at least one or two redeeming qualities. Alas, there are none aside from the miniscule relief I felt about not having to see this crap in 3D. I cannot hold back the epic levels of hatred I had for Konchalovskiy's The Nutcracker, which has earned a whopping 0% on Rotten Tomatoes. How did anyone possibly think anything about this movie was a good idea?

Rating: DUD

Burlesque

Burlesque - Dir. Steve Antin (2010)

When pop stars break into acting, it's usually not a pretty sight. One need not look any further than Mariah Carey in Glitter or Britney Spears in Crossroads. Christina Aguilera's big screen debut may not be very memorable, but it isn't nearly as dreadful.

The one-time Mouseketeer plays Ali, a small town girl from Iowa who hops on the bus to Los Angeles to fulfill her dreams of stardom. She pounds pavement going from one fruitless audition to another until she comes across The Burlesque Lounge on the Sunset Strip. She's immediately floored by the exquisite costumes and elaborate dance numbers. Ali is desperate for a job there, but is turned down flat by the club's owner Tess (Cher). She finds some sympathy from Tess's gay best friend, Sean (Stanley Tucci), and the handsome bartender, Jack (Cam Gigandet), who gives her a job as a waitress. She eventually impresses Tess enough to become a dancer, earning enmity from the club's previous centerpiece, the jealous and alcoholic Nikki (Kristen Bell). The girls, with the exception of Tess, are called on to merely lip synch the tunes. An act of sabotage by Nikki backfires allowing Ali to show off her "mutant lungs" for a rendition of Etta James' "Tough Lover." Just like that she becomes the new star attraction.

Meanwhile, Tess is fighting to save the club when she falls behind on mortgage payments. Her ex-husband and business partner, Vince (Peter Gallagher), is pressuring her to sell out to real estate mogul, Marcus Gerber (Eric Dane). The exceedingly rich Marcus has his eyes on not just the club, but on Ali as well. Our plucky heroine is ensnared in a love triangle between the kind-hearted Jack and the high life that only Marcus can give her.

Burlesque was directed by Steve Antin, the brother of Pussycat Dolls founder, Robin Antin. It's clear where Antin's influences lie as he apes Bob Fosse and Rob Marshall in the staging of his dance numbers. These are showy sequences reminiscent of Cabaret and Chicago. Speaking of which Alan Cumming, who played the Emcee in the 1998 Broadway production of Cabaret, essentially reprises the role here in a glorified cameo. The guys at the Lounge wear bowlers and eyeliner while looking like metrosexual versions of the Droogs from A Clockwork Orange. Though the film is called Burlesque and is set in a burlesque club, there's not a lot of actual burlesque involved aside from a toned down fan dance. Nobody gets naked and the outfits stay well within the realm of the PG-13 rating.

Antin also received sole credit for the screenplay, which was worked on at various times by Diablo Cody (Juno), Susannah Grant (Erin Brockovich), and John Patrick Shanley (Moonstruck, which earned Cher an Oscar for Best Actress). The results are a hodgepodge of clichés as we follow the journey of a young waif through the seductive world of Hollywood. It's predictable and chock full of corny lines like, "I held back your hair while you threw up everything, but your memories." There's an earnestness to each scene as everyone takes things deadly serious rather than playing up the obvious camp qualities.

Nobody goes to see a movie like Burlesque for a deeply moving script, they go for the music. Aguilera and Cher are more than capable of carrying the soundtrack with their powerful vocals, but the songs themselves don't feel worthy of their talents. None of them stick in your head or have you humming them on the drive home. The only tune that sticks out is an odd concoction that samples Marilyn Manson's "Beautiful People."

As the lead, Aguilera is never called upon to do anything demanding in terms of acting. She's there to sing, dance, and look good. Don't expect a transformation from Plain Jane, she's glamorous from the beginning and becomes even more glamorous as the film progresses. However, Burlesque utterly belongs to Cher and Stanley Tucci, who steal the movie whenever they're onscreen together.

While your intrepid film critic was unimpressed by the trite Burlesque, some of my fellow audience members were hooting and hollering at the garish spectacle. This one is strictly for fans of Xtina and Cher.

Rating: * ½ (*****)

Nine

Nine - Dir. Rob Marshall (2009)


9 was the lucky number for movies in 2009. There were the stop-motion animated films $9.99 and 9 as well as the sci-fi flick District 9. Now to close out the year, there’s Nine, a star-studded musical from the director of Chicago, Rob Marshall. Nine is the movie version of the hit Broadway musical which itself was based on Federico Fellini’s self-reflexive and most personal film 8 ½. Marshall’s Nine lacks any and all of Fellini’s complexities and is simply an empty exercise in style.

Marcello Mastroianni essentially played Fellini in 8 ½, a renowned director who struggles to complete his next film. In the original 1982 Broadway production, Raul Julia took on the role which was inherited to Antonio Banderas in the revival. Javier Bardem was originally cast until he dropped out and was replaced by out of left field choice Daniel Day-Lewis. Critics have been polarized over the casting of the British Oscar winning, debating whether or not he makes a convincing Italian. I say he did fine and he has a damn good singing voice, but his talents are largely unutilized. Day-Lewis doesn’t do much more than look sullen as movie director Guido Contini.

Following a string of flops, Contini’s next film is ready to go into production, but the “maestro” hasn’t written a single page of the script. Along with his creative funk, Contini deals with a web of romantic entanglements. There’s his wife Luisa (Marion Cotillard looking like Audrey Hepburn), his sultry mistress Carla (Penelope Cruz), his leading lady Claudia Jenssen (Nicole Kidman in full Anita Ekberg mode), and an American reporter (Kate Hudson). The bevy of beauties also includes Sophia Loren as his mother, the Black Eyed Peas’ Fergie as an Earthy prostitute from Contini’s childhood, and Judi Dench as Lili, Contini’s costume designer and confidant.

As with Chicago, Marshall weaves the song and dance numbers into the narrative as fantasy sequences. These are big showy productions with the film’s lovely starlets bumping and grinding in skimpy outfits. There’s plenty of gorgeous scenery to be had, but the plot is aimless. Worst yet, the whole reason to see a musical, the music, is largely forgettable. Out of the many numbers in Nine, not a single one stuck in my mind or had me humming it as I left the theater. I will say that I didn’t expect Nicole Kidman, Kate Hudson or Penelope Cruz to have such good singing voices. Marion Cotillard, who already showed off her pipes as Edith Piaf in La Vie en Rose, gives the strongest performance in the film, both acting and singing-wise. She has a soulfulness to her that’s sorely needed even when she’s belting bland tunes like, "My Husband Makes Movies."

As a red-blooded male, I can’t say as I didn’t enjoy seeing Kate Hudson shaking her hips or Penelope Cruz writhing around in lingerie.

Rating: **

The Princess and the Frog

The Princess and the Frog - Dirs. Ron Clements & John Musker (2009)


2009 was a banner year for the animated film. We’ve seen CG (Up) and stop-motion (Coraline, Fantastic Mr. Fox) so it’s only fitting that 2009 closes with The Princess and the Frog. The film marks Disney’s return to the traditional hand-drawn animated format they revolutionized in 1937 with Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. The story structure of Princess and the Frog is evocative of the formula from Disney’s renaissance period of the late-80’s/early-90’s when they produced The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, and The Lion King. Over the past decade, the quality of Disney’s hand-drawn slate gradually declined as they pumped out more misses (Brother Bear) than hits (Lilo & Stitch). The House of Mouse abandoned the format following Home on the Range, but it was Pixar guru John Lasseter who planned to revive the traditional process once he was handed the keys to the Magic Kingdom.

Ron Musker and John Clements, who co-directed The Little Mermaid and Aladdin, were put in charge of the movie while Randy Newman was tasked with composing the soundtrack.

The Princess and the Frog is set in 1920’s New Orleans and stars Tiana, the daughter of a seamstress (Oprah Winfrey) and an aspiring restaurateur (Terrence Howard). Though she comes from a working class background, Tiana is best friends with the affluent Charlotte (Jennifer Cody), a southern Belle and daughter of Big Daddy La Bouff (John Goodman). Tiana’s mother sews dresses for Charlotte and eagle-eyed viewers should be able to pick out the references in her collection. Like many of the Disney heroines of the past, Charlotte’s simplistic goals extend no further than meeting and marrying her Prince Charming. Tiana grows up and now works almost non-stop as a waitress to earn the money to open that restaurant her dad (who is alluded to have died during WWI) always dreamed of.

Meanwhile, the carefree Prince Naveen (Bruno Campos) arrives in the Big Easy searching for a wealthy girl to marry. Seems the Prince’s parents have disowned him for being irresponsible and lazy. A local voodoo practitioner, Dr. Facilier (Keith David), schemes with Naveen’s valet, Lawrence (Peter Bartlett), to turn the Prince into a frog and steal his fortune. When Prince Naveen mistakenly believes Tiana is a princess, he convinces her to give him a kiss, only to see her turn into a frog as well. This pair of newly found amphibians treks through the bayou with a trumpet playing alligator and a Cajun firefly.

The animation is beautiful and enhanced by the film’s unique setting though I believe the filmmakers could have gone further with the period. Much has been made about Tiana as Disney’s first African-American princess, but nary is there a mention of segregation or any type of racial tension. Maybe that was just a little too intense for a kids’ flick? Princess and the Frog may be a welcome return to the classic Disney formula, but it is held back by a slavish devotion to that formula. You’ve got the protagonist, a romantic opposite, a journey, wacky animal sidekicks, and life lessons to be learned. It becomes more and more predictable as the story progresses. Dr. Facilier has some cool visuals backing him up; however, he isn’t nearly as strong a villain as Gaston or Scar. Some of the musical numbers are decent enough with “Almost There” and “When We’re Human” being the best.

The Princess and the Frog is certainly a better offering than the majority of Disney’s recent selections. If you’re planning a family outing this holiday season to the multiplex, you could certainly do much worse than this film. It’s a good picture, but just misses reaching the heights of Beauty and the Beast and its peers.

Rating: ** 1/2

Repo!: The Genetic Opera

Repo!: The Genetic Opera - Dir. Darren Lynn Bousman (2008)

There are only two words in the English language that could describe Repo!: The Genetic Opera. One is ‘cluster’, the other rhymes with the last name of a Disney character named Donald. Repo! is a Gothic, industrial sci-fi rock opera, the by-product of Tim Burton and Baz Luhrmann. Unlike the typical musical where characters suddenly burst into song, nearly every line of dialogue (except for two or three) is sung. As such, the music of Repo! is an unrelenting barrage of industrial, pop-punk sounds.

The concept began in 2002 as a stage play written by Darren Smith and Terrence Zdunich with Darren Lynn Bousman (who helmed Saws II through IV) as director. Set sometime and somewhere in the future, humanity has suffered from an epidemic of organ failures. In the wake of these tragedies, a conglomerate known as GeneCo has risen into power, providing the population with the organs they so desperately need. The catch, however, is that should you fall behind on your payments, GeneCo will send a repo man to cut it right out of your body.

GeneCo’s CEO is Rotti Largo (Paul Sorvino), a Machiavellian King Lear who is dying from an unnamed illness. Largo has no desire to leave his technological kingdom to his three squabbling children. There’s the hot-tempered Luigi (horror movie vet Bill Moseley) who has no qualms over killing somebody just for bumping into him. Second is Pavi (Skinny Puppy frontman, Nivek Ogre) who wears a macabre mask of flesh stapled over his own scarred visage. Pavi is also the only Largo to speak with an exaggerated accent. The youngest is daughter Amber Sweet inexplicably played by Paris Hilton. Ironically, Amber is a pampered and spoiled little brat who is the poster child for GeneCo. She’s also heavily addicted to surgical procedures which have become as trendy in the future as tattoos and eyebrow piercings are today. But, this is not their story.

The main protagonist is, ostensibly, Shilo Wallace (Alexa Vega from Spy Kids all growed up) who suffers from a blood disease and lives under the iron fist of her overprotective father, Nathan (Anthony Stewart Head). Nathan is a doctor and widower who failed to save his wife, Marni (Sarah Power) from the same disease that’s been passed down to his daughter. Since her death, he has been forced to work for Rotti as his repo man. Rounding out the ensemble cast are Blind Mag (Sarah Brightman), a singer and spokeswoman for GeneCo with tricked out eyes that emit holograms; and the Graverobber (Zdunich), a pseudo-narrator and chorus who peddles a painkilling drug called Zydrate. The film builds to a crescendo during the climax which takes place at GeneCo’s annual celebration, the Genetic Opera, a Grand Guignol of tragic revelations and death. Just like all good operas. Oh, and Paris Hilton’s face falls off. That’s got to be worth something, right?

Yes, that is a lot to absorb. Repo! crams about a million different ideas and songs into its scant 98 minute runtime. One of the many problems with the material is the fact that nearly every character, relationship, and subplot needs a detailed explanation. Flash animated comic book panels are interspersed throughout the first act in order to catch you up to speed with everyone’s backstory. All the while your senses are being assaulted by one musical number after another.

In musicals, you usually have to deal with actors who can’t sing or singers who can’t act. That’s the case here though a few of the cast can’t seem to do either. I’m sure you can guess which young hotel heiress I’m talking about. Not even the great Paul Sorvino is able to give the operatic performance demanded from his character. He might have the acting chops, but not the pipes. Only three members of the eclectic cast are able to do both. Not surprisingly, they have the best numbers. It goes without saying that Sarah Brightman, the former Mrs. Andrew Lloyd Webber (and star of his Phantom of the Opera), is a natural even when she’s buried under Goth makeup, creepy contact lenses, and a tight corset.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer fans already know Anthony Stewart Head can carry a tune as he did just that in the wonderful musical episode, "Once More with Feeling." Here, Head alternates between ultra-serious and over-the-top to convey Nathan’s devotion to his daughter as well as his own dwindling grip on sanity. Head knocks it out of the park with Bowie-esque vocals on numbers like "Legal Assassin" and "Thankless Job," the latter of which features Head using a hollowed out cadaver as a ventriloquist dummy. He also has a touching duet with Alexa Vega at the end of the film in "I Didn’t Know I’d Love You So Much." Vega also rocks out with a quick punk number called "Seventeen," which featured a dancing teddy bear and a random appearance by Joan Jett on guitar.

Repo! holds the record for the most songs in one film at 64. Not all the numbers could be considered full-fledged songs. A few are essentially bits of conversation sung. None of the songs are really all that memorable other than the ones previously mentioned. A lot of the music is just disharmonious noise on top of noise. That’s a shame as the filmmakers gathered together an equally diverse assortment of musicians to contribute to the recording. Among them are David J. and Daniel Ash from Bauhaus, Stephen Perkins from Jane’s Addiction, and Melora Greager from Rasputina.

The production design looks remarkably good for a low-budget film. The futuristic city of Repo! is like the Los Angeles of Blade Runner if it was built by Anton Furst. However, it’s hard to admire the sets when the film is lit with some God-awful soft lighting. Every character is enveloped by a ghostly glow as if they were getting ready for a cheesecake boudoir photoshoot. It’s not at all flattering and doesn’t fit with the grimy, gritty world that was created.

Repo!: The Genetic Opera is a stark contrast to recent musicals such as Hairspray and Mamma Mia Where High School Musical appealed to the Disney Channel/Abercrombie & Fitch crowd, Repo! panders to the clientele of Hot Topic. But, it’s standing as a dark tour de force is supplanted by the far superior, Sweeney Todd. Repo! might have seemed like a cool idea on paper, but the execution and final product are a mess.

The film screams, ‘cult classic,’ and isn’t going after a mainstream audience. Repo! was originally released on November 7 and only in eight theaters. A small, but loyal band of fans have convinced Lionsgate to screen the movie on a pair of touring, midnight road shows. That’s the audience the filmmakers are hoping to target. Much like Rocky Horror Picture Show, Repo! is only for the midnight crowds who show up dressed in costume and ready to sing along. It will likely gain a devoted following, but probably won’t match the staying power of Rocky Horror, Over thirty years later, Brad, Janet, and Dr. Frank N. Furter are still packing them in, but one can’t picture folks dressing up like Amber Sweet or Blind Mag in the future.

Rating: * 1/2