Sin City: A Dame To Kill For

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For - Dirs. Robert Rodriguez & Frank Miller (2014)

"Sin City is where you go in with your eyes open or you don't come out at all."

You have to hand it to Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller for their dogged determination in sequelizing Sin City. Nine years later, the much-anticipated Sin City: A Dame to Kill For finally arrived in theaters to a tepid response. The movie came just shy of pulling in $40 million worldwide, a fraction of the $158 million earned by its predecessor. Perhaps, too much time has passed.

The original Sin City stood head and shoulders above other Hollywood releases with its hyper-stylized representation of film noir, stark black and white accentuated by splashes of color. Rodriguez also changed the way we thought of adapting comic books by slavishly remaining faithful to Miller's artwork. Pages from the comics were kept on set to utilize as storyboards. Now the look of Sin City isn't as fresh with perfume commercials appropriating the visuals. Miller certainly didn't help matters with his abysmal attempt at a feature film version of Will Eisner's Spirit. As for Rodriguez, Grindhouse was a fun experiment that deserved a larger audience, but Shorts, Spy Kids: All the Time in the World, and Machete Kills didn't set the world on fire.

A Dame to Kill For begins with "Just Another Saturday Night," in which the nigh-invulnerable bruiser Marv (Mickey Rourke) tries to piece together a hazy evening that involved frat boys lighting hobos on fire.

The best and most substantial story is "A Dame to Kill For" starring Dwight McCarthy (Josh Brolin), a man trying to put his violent past behind him. Everything falls apart when he is reunited with former lover Ava Lord (Eva Green). Against his better judgment, Dwight agrees to save Ava from an abusive marriage with the wealthy Damian Lord (Marton Csokas). Of course, Dwight should have known better than to believe anything coming from those luscious lips.

The second Sin City also features two original stories. In "The Long Bad Night," a cocky gambler named Johnny (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) enters into a high stakes poker game against the powerful Senator Roark (Powers Boothe) and might lose more than just his money. Finally, there's "Nancy's Last Dance," which continues the story from "The Yellow Bastard." Nancy Callahan (Jessica Alba) is still haunted by the death of her protector John Hartigan (Bruce Willis), who sacrificed his life to protect her from the grasp of Sen. Roark. Now, Nancy is a little unhinged and prepares nearly every waking moment to seek revenge against the untouchable politico.

If you enjoyed the style over substance approach of the first movie, then you'll probably dig A Dame to Kill For since you get more of the same. Rodriguez and Miller seamlessly blend live-action with computer animation in a dynamic fashion to craft the world of Sin City. There's some great imagery here, such as deadly little Miho firing a bow & arrow against a full moon or Roark surrounded by stacks of poker chips that resemble skyscrapers. After a while, it gets tiring, especially when the stories are so repetitive. We get decapitations galore and an endless stream of hard boiled narration. And the women of Sin City wind up being strippers, prostitutes or chopped into pieces by sadistic killers.

The filmmakers try harder this time around to integrate the various stories in the sequel and use the strip club, Kadie's Saloon, as a hub. It doesn't really work nor does it enhance the experience. It can be confusing as well since time means nothing. "Long Bad Night" and "Nancy's Last Dance" take place after the events of the previous picture, but "Dame to Kill For" is a prequel. Keep in mind; these new stories aren't by the Frank Miller who gave us acclaimed runs on Batman and Daredevil. This is the new Frank Miller behind the laughable All-Star Batman & Robin and the atrocious Holy Terror. This is a Frank Miller who thought it would be a fantastic idea for Nancy to disfigure her own face for the sole purpose of getting Marv to help her on a mission of vengeance. Heaven forbid a female character do something on her own.

Marv is a constant in each segment and the big bruiser brought a lot of dark humor in "The Hard Goodbye." However, he's now become a glorified attack dog that they sic on any henchmen in sight. So it makes absolutely no sense why Nancy doesn't just ask him to kill a bunch of dudes for her.

Rosario Dawson as the machine gun toting dominatrix Gail is back along with Jaime King as twin sexpots Goldie and Wendy, and Bruce Willis as the world's most laconic ghost. Dennis Haysbert takes over the role of Manute from the late-Michael Clarke Duncan while Jamie Chung replaces Devon Aoki as the silent assassin Miho. Among the newcomers are Juno Temple, Christopher Lloyd, Ray Liotta, Lady Gaga, Christopher Meloni, Jeremy Piven, and Stacy Keach underneath grotesque make-up that makes him look like a rejected Dick Tracy villain.

None of them hold a candle to Eva Green, who relishes in the role of the femme fatale to end all femme fatales. This is the very definition of sultry and seductive. Green deserves a special award for Best Performances in Unnecessary Frank Miller sequels. She was also the highlight of 300: Rise of an Empire as warrior woman Artemisia. Josh Brolin equates himself well with the gruff and lurid prose as Dwight when he had his old face. It does hurt the tale that Clive Owen was unable to return as Dwight after the reconstructive surgery.

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For feels like a quick cash grab that was slapped together, except it came nine years later when the irons have long been cold. It's gratuitously crude and violent without any creative spark.

Rating: ** (*****)

Machete Kills

Machete Kills - Dir. Robert Rodriguez (2013)

Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino paid homage to the exploitation movies of their youth with the 2007 double feature Grindhouse. They had big plans to turn it into a franchise until the film died at the box office. Still, there was enough interest to spinoff Machete, a machete wielding badass who made his first appearance in one of Grindhouse's faux-trailers.

Described as ”FBI, CIA, and DEA all rolled into one mean burrito," Machete starred in a self-titled feature film bolstered by over-the-top action and an eclectic cast that included Robert DeNiro and Lindsay Lohan. Of course, Machete couldn't have worked without its star, Trejo, the craggily faced and tattooed character actor in his biggest role to date. Trejo returns in the sequel, Machete Kills, which remains faithful to its B-movie roots while upping the ante by adding a sci-fi spin. There's a lead villain cut from the same mold as Hugo Drax from Moonraker and plenty of Star Wars references.

A mission to foil an arms deal ends disastrously for Machete and ICE agent Sartana (Jessica Alba). Our hero is about to be hanged by a redneck sheriff (William Sadler) when he's pardoned by President Rathcock (Charlie Sheen, billed under his real name of Carlos Estevez). POTUS sends Machete into Mexico to track down a nuclear weapon that has fallen into the hands of a former cartel leader known as Mendez the Madman (Demián Bichir), so called because of his multiple personalities. However, the real mastermind is revealed to be billionaire industrialist Luther Voz (Mel Gibson), who has concocted a plan to engulf the entire world in nuclear war.

Also returning for the sequel are Michelle Rodriguez as the one-eyed revolutionary She and Tom Savini as hitman Osiris Amanpour. Joining them are Amber Heard as beauty queen/secret agent Miss San Antonio and Sofia Vergara as Desdemona, leader of a gang of deadly prostitutes. While the cast is as star-studded as its predecessor, most of the actors (Vanessa Hudgens, for example) appear in glorified cameos. One character, a master of disguise named The Chameleon, is simply there to justify a string of gonzo, guest appearances by Walt Goggins, Lady Gaga, and Cuba Gooding Jr. Only a few get to make any real impression, such as Sheen who has fun playing into his tabloid persona as a boozehound and horndog. Bichir and Gibson (in his first turn as a bad guy) give the best performances as both actors straddle the line between cartoonish villainy and honest-to-goodness gravitas. Bichir, in particular, brings some surprisingly soulful moments to Machete Kills.

Rodriguez's flair for action isn't fully on display here. Machete Kills manages a couple of decent set pieces, usually involving Machete versus Chilean martial arts star Marko Zaror. Unfortunately, much of the film is repetitive with Rodriguez relying one too many times on his hero killing henchmen by throwing them into helicopter blades. Sofia Vergara, who plays it to the hilt, packs a high caliber brassier as well as the crotch gun from Desperado and From Dusk Till Dawn. Even a catfight between Amber Heard and Michelle Rodriguez comes off dull.

Machete Kills opens with another faux-trailer for a third picture, Machete Kills Again…in Space, that offers more thrills than the actual movie that followed. Maybe it's time to say, "Adios," to this franchise.

Rating: ** (*****)

Spy Kids: All the Time in the World

Spy Kids: All the Time in the World - Dir. Robert Rodriguez (2011)

Robert Rodriguez has made his name as an innovative and visually inventive director in the action genre. He exploded onto the scene with the ultra-low budget El Mariachi before moving on to blockbusters like Desperado, From Dusk Till Dawn, and Sin City. In between his R-rated pictures, Rodriguez has helmed the kid-friendly series of Spy Kids movies. It's not too surprising considering Rodriguez is the father of five boys.

It made sense that the third movie, Spy Kids: Game Over, would launch the franchise into 3D. Eight years later, the fourth entry, Spy Kids: All the Time in the World was advertised as being presented in 4D. Time is considered to be the fourth dimension and while it plays a large role in the film, the 4D also referred to Aroma-Scope, Rodriguez's attempt to bring back Smell-O-Vision. Audience members were given scratch 'n' sniff cards, along with their 3D glasses, which gave them a whiff of scents like bubblegum, bacon, and chocolate. Perhaps, Spy Kids 5D will see the return of William Castle's "Tingler" gimmick where theaters are equipped with electrified seats. The following review is for the plain, old 2D version of Spy Kids.

Jessica Alba stars as Marissa Wilson, the top agent for the OSS, the Organization of Super-Spies. In her final mission before retirement, Marissa tracks down and captures Tick Tock, a villain who uses weapons that can temporarily freeze people in time. Why is she retiring? Because she's nine months pregnant and goes into labor while battling Tick Tock's henchmen. Rodriguez was inspired to make the movie after watching Alba change diapers on the set of Machete.

Marissa faces all new challenges as a happy homemaker. Her husband, Wilbur (Joel McHale), spends all his time working on his new reality show, Spy Hunters, where he fruitlessly searches for spies hiding in society. Her step-children, Rebecca (Rowan Blanchard) and Cecil (Mason Cook), can't stand her and are always pulling messy pranks on her.

Marissa is called back into action by her superior, Danger D'Amo (Jeremy Piven), when a new supervillain known as the Timekeeper begins stealing time. This causes the days to flow faster than normal. The Timekeeper's next move is to activate the Armageddon Device and the only thing that can stop it is a gem called the Chrono Sapphire. As it turns out, Marissa gave it to Rebecca as a gift. Thus, the kids are dragged into the mission and teamed with the original Spy Kids, Carmen (Alexa Vega) and Juni (Daryl Sabara), who are all grown up. They receive help from a robotic attack dog named Argonaut (voiced by Ricky Gervais).

Spy Kids unfolds at a fast and furious pace, which is perfect for anyone who might have the attention span of a goldfish. It's a cinematic sugar rush; all candy colored and powered by hefty amounts of caffeinated cola. The youngsters will be entertained, but older folks might get a headache. The plot doesn't make a lick of sense and is bogged down by blunt messages about the importance of family. There's a disturbing amount of scatological humor with jokes about dog poop and farts. The heroes also incapacitate the bad guys with a dirty diaper and a bag of vomit. Joel McHale and Ricky Gervais are talented comedians, but neither man is given strong enough material to elicit even a modest chuckle. All the Time in the World also could have used the presence of past stars like Carla Gugino, Cheech Marin, and Danny Trejo (who only appears in a quick one scene cameo).

It's ironic that the theme of Spy Kids: All the Time in the World is about living in the present and not dwelling on the past. The Weinstein Company has been cannibalizing their own past in an effort to resurrect their successful franchises to grab some quick cash. I don't know if anyone was truly clamoring for another Spy Kids movie and after watching this latest one, it's doubtful their minds were changed. All the Time in the World is the definition of junk food cinema, a movie lacking in substance and not at all healthy for consumption.

Rating: * ½ (*****)

Repo!: The Genetic Opera

Repo!: The Genetic Opera - Dir. Darren Lynn Bousman (2008)

There are only two words in the English language that could describe Repo!: The Genetic Opera. One is ‘cluster’, the other rhymes with the last name of a Disney character named Donald. Repo! is a Gothic, industrial sci-fi rock opera, the by-product of Tim Burton and Baz Luhrmann. Unlike the typical musical where characters suddenly burst into song, nearly every line of dialogue (except for two or three) is sung. As such, the music of Repo! is an unrelenting barrage of industrial, pop-punk sounds.

The concept began in 2002 as a stage play written by Darren Smith and Terrence Zdunich with Darren Lynn Bousman (who helmed Saws II through IV) as director. Set sometime and somewhere in the future, humanity has suffered from an epidemic of organ failures. In the wake of these tragedies, a conglomerate known as GeneCo has risen into power, providing the population with the organs they so desperately need. The catch, however, is that should you fall behind on your payments, GeneCo will send a repo man to cut it right out of your body.

GeneCo’s CEO is Rotti Largo (Paul Sorvino), a Machiavellian King Lear who is dying from an unnamed illness. Largo has no desire to leave his technological kingdom to his three squabbling children. There’s the hot-tempered Luigi (horror movie vet Bill Moseley) who has no qualms over killing somebody just for bumping into him. Second is Pavi (Skinny Puppy frontman, Nivek Ogre) who wears a macabre mask of flesh stapled over his own scarred visage. Pavi is also the only Largo to speak with an exaggerated accent. The youngest is daughter Amber Sweet inexplicably played by Paris Hilton. Ironically, Amber is a pampered and spoiled little brat who is the poster child for GeneCo. She’s also heavily addicted to surgical procedures which have become as trendy in the future as tattoos and eyebrow piercings are today. But, this is not their story.

The main protagonist is, ostensibly, Shilo Wallace (Alexa Vega from Spy Kids all growed up) who suffers from a blood disease and lives under the iron fist of her overprotective father, Nathan (Anthony Stewart Head). Nathan is a doctor and widower who failed to save his wife, Marni (Sarah Power) from the same disease that’s been passed down to his daughter. Since her death, he has been forced to work for Rotti as his repo man. Rounding out the ensemble cast are Blind Mag (Sarah Brightman), a singer and spokeswoman for GeneCo with tricked out eyes that emit holograms; and the Graverobber (Zdunich), a pseudo-narrator and chorus who peddles a painkilling drug called Zydrate. The film builds to a crescendo during the climax which takes place at GeneCo’s annual celebration, the Genetic Opera, a Grand Guignol of tragic revelations and death. Just like all good operas. Oh, and Paris Hilton’s face falls off. That’s got to be worth something, right?

Yes, that is a lot to absorb. Repo! crams about a million different ideas and songs into its scant 98 minute runtime. One of the many problems with the material is the fact that nearly every character, relationship, and subplot needs a detailed explanation. Flash animated comic book panels are interspersed throughout the first act in order to catch you up to speed with everyone’s backstory. All the while your senses are being assaulted by one musical number after another.

In musicals, you usually have to deal with actors who can’t sing or singers who can’t act. That’s the case here though a few of the cast can’t seem to do either. I’m sure you can guess which young hotel heiress I’m talking about. Not even the great Paul Sorvino is able to give the operatic performance demanded from his character. He might have the acting chops, but not the pipes. Only three members of the eclectic cast are able to do both. Not surprisingly, they have the best numbers. It goes without saying that Sarah Brightman, the former Mrs. Andrew Lloyd Webber (and star of his Phantom of the Opera), is a natural even when she’s buried under Goth makeup, creepy contact lenses, and a tight corset.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer fans already know Anthony Stewart Head can carry a tune as he did just that in the wonderful musical episode, "Once More with Feeling." Here, Head alternates between ultra-serious and over-the-top to convey Nathan’s devotion to his daughter as well as his own dwindling grip on sanity. Head knocks it out of the park with Bowie-esque vocals on numbers like "Legal Assassin" and "Thankless Job," the latter of which features Head using a hollowed out cadaver as a ventriloquist dummy. He also has a touching duet with Alexa Vega at the end of the film in "I Didn’t Know I’d Love You So Much." Vega also rocks out with a quick punk number called "Seventeen," which featured a dancing teddy bear and a random appearance by Joan Jett on guitar.

Repo! holds the record for the most songs in one film at 64. Not all the numbers could be considered full-fledged songs. A few are essentially bits of conversation sung. None of the songs are really all that memorable other than the ones previously mentioned. A lot of the music is just disharmonious noise on top of noise. That’s a shame as the filmmakers gathered together an equally diverse assortment of musicians to contribute to the recording. Among them are David J. and Daniel Ash from Bauhaus, Stephen Perkins from Jane’s Addiction, and Melora Greager from Rasputina.

The production design looks remarkably good for a low-budget film. The futuristic city of Repo! is like the Los Angeles of Blade Runner if it was built by Anton Furst. However, it’s hard to admire the sets when the film is lit with some God-awful soft lighting. Every character is enveloped by a ghostly glow as if they were getting ready for a cheesecake boudoir photoshoot. It’s not at all flattering and doesn’t fit with the grimy, gritty world that was created.

Repo!: The Genetic Opera is a stark contrast to recent musicals such as Hairspray and Mamma Mia Where High School Musical appealed to the Disney Channel/Abercrombie & Fitch crowd, Repo! panders to the clientele of Hot Topic. But, it’s standing as a dark tour de force is supplanted by the far superior, Sweeney Todd. Repo! might have seemed like a cool idea on paper, but the execution and final product are a mess.

The film screams, ‘cult classic,’ and isn’t going after a mainstream audience. Repo! was originally released on November 7 and only in eight theaters. A small, but loyal band of fans have convinced Lionsgate to screen the movie on a pair of touring, midnight road shows. That’s the audience the filmmakers are hoping to target. Much like Rocky Horror Picture Show, Repo! is only for the midnight crowds who show up dressed in costume and ready to sing along. It will likely gain a devoted following, but probably won’t match the staying power of Rocky Horror, Over thirty years later, Brad, Janet, and Dr. Frank N. Furter are still packing them in, but one can’t picture folks dressing up like Amber Sweet or Blind Mag in the future.

Rating: * 1/2