Guardians of the Galaxy

Guardians of the Galaxy - Dir. James Gunn (2014)

"They call themselves the Guardians of the Galaxy."
"What a bunch of a-holes."

When Edgar Wright famously departed as director of Ant-Man, the fanboy nation decried Marvel Studios for no longer being willing to take risks. After all, their entire cinematic universe was built on a risk. Iron Man was not a character in the mainstream consciousness. Jon Favreau had no experience in directing big-budget action features. Finally, Robert Downey Jr. had his own baggage and was not considered a bankable star. Yet, Iron Man performed well beyond expectations and allowed Marvel to grow into a juggernaut with The Avengers quickly becoming one of the highest grossing films of all time. If Guardians of the Galaxy is any indication, Marvel is clearly willing to roll the dice and gamble big.

The Guardians first appeared in 1969 as a team of superheroes gathered from across the galaxy and living in the 31^st century. In 2008, writers Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning revamped the Guardians with a completely different line-up of characters that had faded into obscurity. They have since become a cornerstone of Marvel's cosmic universe. The property is even less known to the general public and the movie features no huge stars in leading roles. Then, you've got writer/director James Gunn, a filmmaker who cut his teeth on the low-budget schlock of Troma Pictures. Somehow, it all came together and Guardians of the Galaxy has gone on to become one of the biggest hits of the year.

Guardians of the Galaxy opens in 1988 as a despondent boy named Peter Quill watches his mother succumb to cancer. As he runs out of the hospital, a spaceship whisks him away to the farthest reaches of outer space. Flash forward to an adult Quill (Chris Pratt), who now calls himself Star-Lord and survives as a thief. On the planet of Morag, Quill attempts to steal an orb before being caught by Korath the Pursuer (Djimon Hounsou), a henchman in the employ of Ronan the Accuser (Lee Pace). Turns out, the orb is an Infinity Stone, a gem of immense power, which Ronan wants to use to wipe out his mortal enemies, the Xandarians.

Quill just wants to sell it to a fence on Xandar Prime and has now knowledge of the orb's true nature or how everybody in the quadrant wants it. His former comrades, the Ravagers, want it for the cash value. Gamora (Zoe Saldana) sees the orb as her chance to escape the clutches of her adopted father Thanos (Josh Brolin), the Mad Titan responsible for the Chitauri invasion of Earth. As Quill and Gamora tussle over the orb, a pair of bounty hunters is looking to cash in on the handsome reward on Star-Lord. These bounty hunters just happen to be Rocket (Bradley Cooper), a talking bipedal raccoon, and Groot (Vin Diesel), a tree-like being who can only speak three words, "I am Groot."

If the story sounds familiar, it's not déjà vu. Guardians is almost identical to the plot of Thor: The Dark World and shares many elements with previous Marvel movies. There's a big bad who gets his hands on an Infinity Stone and threatens to wipe out an entire civilization. The good guys must defeat him and place the Infinity Stone in the safe hands of a third party. While it's a necessary evil to plant the seeds that will inevitably lead to The Infinity Gauntlet, you do wish Marvel would shake things up a bit.

Guardians surmounts its shortcomings thanks to a wealth of compelling characters. Oddly enough, the two best characters are the ones that were completely fabricated through special effects. Indeed, Rocket and Groot represent the heart of the movie. Bradley Cooper truly gives one of his best performances ever as Rocket, an adorable bundle of fur, anger, and sarcasm. Rocket provides plenty of comic relief, but there's tragedy to the character when he briefly alludes to the twisted experiments that brought him into being. Vin Diesel gets the most mileage out of repeating the same three words again and again. His voice work is eerily reminiscent of The Iron Giant, which isn't a surprise given that there's child-like innocence to both the Giant and Groot. Even Drax the Destroyer has a lovable naiveté with his unwavering quest for vengeance and his inability to grasp metaphors. Then, you have a star making turn (no pun intended) from Chris Pratt as Star-Lord, a scoundrel cut from the same cloth as Han Solo. Pratt is pure charm and his comedic timing is right on the mark.

Not every character gets their chance to shine. Gamora and Nebula have an interesting relationship, but neither character is given the enough screen time. We meet Gamora in one scene, and then she's already turned against Thanos in the next. Much like Malekith, Ronan is a one-note villain. While Lee Pace does a terrific job chewing the scenery, his acting is almost inconsequential when he's buried behind layers of make-up. It is a shame that actors like Glenn Close, Benicio Del Toro, John C. Reilly, and Djimon Hounsou weren't given more to do, but the fact that Marvel is able to get thespians of that caliber for bit roles is incredible.

Credit goes to Marvel for not handcuffing their chosen director. If anyone is familiar with Gunn's filmography, you'll know he has a penchant for gruesome imagery and off-kilter humor. Obviously, some of that was reined in. Still, Gunn brings a healthy helping of comedy to weave Guardians into a lighthearted adventure. Though his action set pieces may not be mind-blowing, Gunn still manages to direct some memorable sequences, such as Nebula resetting her broken bones, the Nova Corps forming an energy net, and Groot lighting the way with luminescent spores.

Adding another unique dimension to Guardians is an eclectic soundtrack of pop tunes from the 70's and 80's, everything from Motown ("Ain't No Mountain High Enough") to punk rock ("Cherry Bomb"). "Hooked on a Feeling," which was a major component of the trailers, undercuts the brutality displayed when Quill is beaten by prison guards. David Bowie's "Moonage Daydream" is effectively played as the Guardians arrive at a mining operation inside the immense head of an ancient cosmic being. After the heartbreaking prologue, Gunn cuts to an adult Quill as he retrieves the Orb (shades of Raiders of the Lost Ark) while joyously dancing to Redbone's "Come and Get Your Love."

Guardians of the Galaxy is easily one of the best blockbusters of the year and one of the best offerings from Marvel Studios. It ranks right up there with Iron Man and The Avengers.

Rating: **** (*****)

The Place Beyond the Pines

The Place Beyond the Pines - Dir. Derek Cianfrance (2013)

"If you ride like lightning, you're gonna crash like thunder."

Derek Cianfrance debuted as a filmmaker with 1998's Brother Tied, but didn't gain widespread notice until his second feature, "Blue Valentine," an intimate and heartbreaking story of a dissolving marriage. Cianfrance's latest movie, The Place Beyond the Pines, is a much more ambitious effort that re-teams the writer/director with Blue Valentine star Ryan Gosling.

Place Beyond the Pines is a generational drama told in three parts about the sins of the father passing on to their sons. The tale begins with an uninterrupted tracking shot of Luke Glanton (Ryan Gosling), the main attraction at a traveling carnival. Luke and his partners, the Heartthrobs, ride their motorcycles around and around within the confines of a caged sphere, an apt allusion for Luke's vagabond life. That is, until he runs into old flame, Romina (Eva Mendes), and discovers they had a son together. Luke decides to stick around. In his own words, "I wasn't around my dad...look at the way I turned out." However, his job prospects are slim and the only work he can get is fixing cars at a low-rent body shop run by Robin (Ben Mendelsohn, once again cast as a sweaty lowlife). Looking to score some fast cash, Luke and Robin cobble a plan to rob banks with the former hitting hard and fast before escaping on his bike. There, Robin will be waiting with a box truck to scoop up Luke and make their escape.

The second act changes gears as we follow Avery Cross (Bradley Cooper), a squeaky clean beat cop who crosses paths with Luke, now dubbed the 'Moto-Bandit.' Avery's newfound notoriety catches the eye of veteran detective Peter Deluca (Ray Liotta). Soon, Avery finds himself in a dirty world where he's forced to take payoffs and steal evidence from police lockup. The story leaps forward fifteen years in the third act to focus on Jason (Dane DeHaan) and AJ (Emory Cohen), the respective sons of Luke and Avery. Jason has a lot of questions about the father he never knew while AJ feels ignored by his dad, who is in the running for New York's Attorney General. The two become friends not knowing the improbable connection they share.

Cianfrance announces his bold vision for Place Beyond the Pines right from the beginning with that memorable tracking shot courtesy of DP Sean Bobbitt, who also shot similar sequences for Steve McQueen on Hunger and Shame. Gosling commands attention with every scene he's in, despite the fact that he plays a slight variation of the taciturn loner seen in Drive. Gosling's smoldering charisma is so undeniable that the film suffers when he disappears. This is no slight on Bradley Cooper, but his character isn't nearly as interesting and his travails are fairly formulaic. The movie does improve in the third act with the arrival of Dane DeHaan, who bares more than a resemblance to a young Leonardo DiCaprio. DeHaan has quickly established himself as one of Hollywood's top newcomers due to his work on Lawless and Chronicle. His performance here is strong and carries the final section of Pines while Cohen overplays his hand with a thick Long Island accent. Eva Mendes is also terrific as the glammed down Romina. Well, at least as glammed down as Eva Mendes can get.

The Place Beyond the Pines is an uneven effort by Derek Cianfrance, but the writer/director has nothing to be ashamed about. There's a melancholy lyricism to the movie, which is handsomely shot and littered with emotional performances and naturalistic dialogue.

Rating: ** ½ (*****)

Silver Linings Playbook

Silver Linings Playbook - Dir. David O. Russell (2012)

"You have poor social skills. You have a problem."

"I have a problem? You say more inappropriate things than appropriate things."

In Hollywood, there's a thing called 'director jail.' Make a stinker or flush a studio's money down the toilet and you could be sentenced there for life. Just ask Michael Cimino, who hasn't done anything significant since his infamous bomb, Heaven's Gate. David O. Russell was lucky enough to escape a similar fate. Russell was earning some buzz on the independent scene with the quirky comedies Spank the Monkey and Flirting with Disaster. Then, he helmed the highly successful and critically acclaimed Three Kings, a unique look at the Gulf War with George Clooney and Mark Wahlberg in lead roles. His next picture, the self-described existential comedy I Heart Huckabee's, received mixed reviews and played to many empty theaters. He also received a reputation as an enfant terrible after a video leaked onto the internet of he and Lily Tomlin locked in a heated argument. Production on his follow-up, Nailed, was shut down after losing financing several times.

Along came the story of boxer Micky Ward, which was turned into The Fighter, a film that earned seven Academy Award nominations. Out of Russell's entire oeuvre, The Fighter is his most mainstream and accessible picture. It was a calculated move by Russell to get back into the game and there's no denying it worked like a charm. Russell had his groove back and now he presents his best work yet with Silver Linings Playbook.

Pat Solitano (Bradley Cooper) is a high school teacher who launches into a violent rage when he catches his wife, Nikki, in the shower with another man. He is diagnosed as bipolar and sent to a psychiatric hospital in Baltimore. After eight months, Pat is checked out early by his dutiful mother (Jacki Weaver). Despite having a restraining order filed against him, Pat hopes to win Nikki back by exercising regularly, reading great works of literature, and maintaining an optimistic outlook. He's even adopted, "Excelsior!," as his motto, not realizing Stan Lee already beat him to the punch. The road to recovery isn't smooth considering Pat loses his cool the first night out after reading Hemingway's Farewell to Arms and discovering it doesn't have a happy ending.

During a casual dinner with friends, Pat meets Tiffany Maxwell (Jennifer Lawrence), a widow who fell into a self-destructive phase of sexual promiscuity following the death of her husband. Their newfound relationship runs hot and cold, just like Pat's mental state. They bond over their mutual dysfunctions, but part over Pat's tactless behavior. Eventually, they agree to train together for a dance competition in exchange for Tiffany passing on a letter to Nikki.

Silver Linings Playbook is based on a novel by Matthew Quick and adapted for the screen by Russell. Hollywood has a reputation for portraying mental illness with cloying sentimentality or as an excuse for quirky, broad humor. "Silver Linings" may have a slightly sanitized sheen, it's a far more compelling and genuine look at mental issues. Chalk that up to the authors' life experiences. Quick previously worked in the mental health community and battled with his own bouts of depression. Russell's son, Matthew (who appears briefly as a nosy neighbor kid), suffers from bipolar disorder.

Although actors like Vince Vaughn, Mark Wahlberg, and Anne Hathaway were previously attached, it's hard to imagine anyone other than Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence as the leads. Cooper brings his usual self-assured swagger, but injects the role of Pat with sorrow and humanity, which helps with a character that isn't always sympathetic. It girl Jennifer Lawrence earned her Oscar for Best Actress through a performance that is simultaneously fragile and fierce. You root for their relationship because they live without filters. The people around them live seemingly normal lives, but are hiding deep seeded neuroses. Pat's best friend Ronnie (John Ortiz) is married to Tiffany's sister, Veronica (Julia Stiles), and they appear to be the picture of suburban, upper middle class bliss (an iPod port in every room of the house). However, Ronnie is clearly being suffocated by attempts to maintain a contented paternal face. Likewise, Pat's long-suffering mother also puts on the phony façade of happy homemaker dealing with things in her own quiet way (with "crabby snacks and homemades").

Pat Sr. (Robert DeNiro) is the other source of frustration in the Solitano household. He's a diehard Philadelphia Eagles fan who was banned from the stadium for excessive fighting. He gambles large sums on the games and developed obsessive compulsive superstitions he believes will help the team win. Pat Sr. is one of DeNiro's best performances in years and refreshing to see from the legendary actor who has almost fallen into an abyss of self-parody.

Perhaps, the most surprising turn in the film belongs to an understated Chris Tucker as a fellow patient at Pat's hospital. You would never guess this was the same abrasive loudmouth from the Rush Hour movies.

Silver Linings Playbook is a heartwarming take on the romantic comedy. David O. Russell treats the characters and the subject matter with dignity and the results are a feel-good movie about people you normally wouldn't feel good about.

Rating: *** ½ (*****)

Hit & Run

Hit & Run - Dirs. Dax Shepard & David Palmer (2012)

Dax Shepard is hardly a household name, but the actor has made a career out of supporting roles in comedies like Baby Mama, Idiocracy, and When in Rome. He was also the lead in Jon Favreau's underrated Zathura, a sort-of sequel to Jumanji. Shepard has recently made the jump to a multi-hyphenate as the star, producer, writer, and co-director with David Palmer of his own movies. His first picture was a mockumentary entitled Brother's Justice, which followed Shepard's attempts at transforming himself into a bona fide action star. His second feature is Hit & Run, an action-comedy shot on the low-budget of $2 million.

Shepard plays Yul Perrkins, a former getaway driver who is now living in Witness Protection under the alias of Charlie Bronson. He got the name from the infamous British convict (featured in Nichols Winding Refn's film Bronson) who in turn got his name from the famed actor. Charlie's sweet-natured girlfriend, Annie (Kristen Bell), has a Master's degree in Non-Violent Conflict Resolution, a major she created for herself. She gets the opportunity to head up her own department at UCLA, but almost doesn't take it since Charlie cannot leave skip town due to the terms of his relocation. But, Charlie doesn't care and busts out his old '67 Lincoln Continental for a cross-country road trip.

Too bad Charlie's placement in WITSEC is one of the worst kept secrets ever. Annie's jealous ex-boyfriend, Gil (Michael Rosenbaum), runs a background check on Charlie and discovers his secret identity. While chasing off after them, Gil contacts Charlie's former partner, Alex Dimitri (a dreadlocked Bradley Cooper), who went to prison because of Charlie's testimony. Also hot on their trail are Randy Anderson (Tom Arnold), the bumbling U.S. Marshal assigned to protect Charlie, and Gil's brother Terry (Jess Rowland), a sheriff's deputy.

With Hit & Run, Shepard aspired to make a throwback to classic car chase pictures like Smokey and the Bandit. The DIY nature of the production is reminiscent of a less ambitious version of Gone in 60 Seconds. The cast consists of Shepard's friends in the acting community and his real-life fiancée Kristen Bell. Shepard also performed his own stunt driving. Charlie's Continental along with a dune buggy were taken from Shepard's own car collection. Despite best intentions, Hit & Run never leaps off the screen.

The car chases aren't at all exciting. The only moment that exudes any visual inventiveness is a slow motion tire burn out set to a cover version of "Pure Imagination" from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. The comedy is thoroughly strained with one of the film's central jokes being the ethnicity of the convict who raped Dimitri in prison. The rest of the puerile humor revolves around a room full of naked old people and a Grindr-esque iPhone app for homosexual rendezvous.

Hit and Run is a listless comedy stuck in neutral while desperately wishing it was doing a hundred down the interstate.

Rating: * (*****)

The Hangover: Part II

The Hangover: Part II - Dir. Todd Phillips (2011)

Sequels can go two ways. The creators can take the story in a completely different direction than the original film and risk alienating audiences, who might complain they lost sight of what made the first installment so successful. The sequel could also stick closely to the plot structure of its predecessor and risk fans complaining that the filmmakers are simply recycling ideas. The Hangover Part II is guilty of the latter, a sequel that rigidly follows the same formula of its 2009 forerunner.

The Wolfpack is back for another round of drunken revelry. Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, and Zach Galifianakis return as the three best friends anyone could have. In his own words, Stu (Helms), the straight-laced dentist is still trying to put the fragile pieces of his psyche back together following the strange events in Las Vegas. He's not taking any chances now that it's his turn to get married. Unfortunately, it is not to the stripper from the first film. Part II earns its first strike with the exclusion of Heather Graham's sweet-natured Jade. There are only passing references to their relationship as Stu is getting hitched to a pretty young Asian named Lauren (Jamie Chung). We learn absolutely nothing about their romance because it only exists as a flimsy excuse to take the protagonists to Thailand.

Stu is reluctantly convinced to have a round of beers on the beach with his pals and future brother-in-law, Teddy (Mason Lee, son of director Ang Lee), a pre-med student and child prodigy. Faster than you can say, "Here we go again," Stu, Phil (Cooper), and Alan (Galifianakis) wake up the following morning in a sweltering Bangkok hotel room with no recollection of how they got there. Alan's head is shaved bald, Stu has a tribal tattoo plastered on his face, and there's a Capuchin monkey wearing a denim jacket. Even worse, there's no sign of Teddy save for his finger and Stanford class ring. Once more, the gang must follow a trail of breadcrumbs that takes them through seedy back alleys, dens of iniquity, and a Buddhist monastery.

Sound familiar? It should since director Todd Phillips and company have essentially remade the same exact picture. The sequel begins in a similar fashion to the first picture. Phil makes a defeated phone call to Doug's wife, Tracy (Sasha Barrese), followed by an opening credits sequence set to Danzig and a frantic search through the city for their missing friend. The end credits are a near carbon copy of the earlier Hangover with a series of photos of their wild night as Flo Rida rings through the theater. Even Mike Tyson returns for a cameo though he sings a different 80's hit tune (Murray Head's "One Night in Bangkok," natch). Ken Jeong also returns as the effeminate gangster, Mr. Leslie Chow. This time, he's a member of the wedding party, invited as Alan's plus one. A little Ken Jeong goes a long way. He can be funny in small doses, such as his recurring role on NBC's Community. Unfortunately, Phillips didn't get the memo and Jeong's routine is too forced and grating to be amusing.

Without Chow as an antagonist, the Wolfpack run into another mobster played by Paul Giamatti as well as a pair of Russian drug dealers. Giamatti isn't known for giving a bad performance and he's great for the brief time he has in the movie. Actor/director Nick Cassavetes also makes a quick appearance as a tattoo artist, a role that generated a lot of press before the movie's release. Mel Gibson was originally set for the character before negative reaction from members of the cast and crew put the kibosh on it. Gibson was replaced by Liam Neeson, who was unable to reprise the role when Phillips needed to reshoot the scene. Considering the revolving door of actors, you'd think the character would be noteworthy. Instead, he's there simply to divulge vital exposition to get the boys to their next destination.

Because the screenplay by Craig Mazin and Scot Armstrong is so concerned with adhering to the plot structure of its predecessor, it forgets that the budding friendship of the leads was the backbone of The Hangover. Not that the protagonists have grown much. Bradley Cooper is the same as the group's overgrown frat boy. Zach Galifianakis has some of the movie's funniest lines, but his Alan has lost some of the eccentric charm since last we saw him. He's more annoying than child-like and just a bit disturbing. Of the main trio, Ed Helms probably fares the worst. Helms has some good scenes in the first half of the film, but eventually regresses to screaming and flailing his limbs about. The jokes also regress to a series of tasteless and uninventive gags that exist purely for shock value. I'm sure the Thailand Board of Tourism will be excited to see their country depicted as a haven for violent drug dealers, underage prostitution, and she-male strippers.

I may lose my cinephile credentials when I saw I enjoyed it. The Hangover may have been a vulgar farce appealing to the lowest common denominator, but I was thoroughly entertained. The same can't be said for The Hangover Part II. Despite a few chuckles, the sequel is a witless rehash full of lazy, gross-out humor.

Rating: * ½ (*****)

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day - Dir. Garry Marshall (2010)


As I wrote in my review for New York, I Love You, anthology films can be a mixed bag filled with hits and misses. That isn’t the case with Valentine’s Day, it is a complete and utter miss.

An American knockoff of Love Actually, Valentine’s Day was written by Katherine Fugate (creator of the Lifetime soap Army Wives) and directed by Garry Marshall (Pretty Woman). The film stars a litany of well known actors in a series of storylines set in L.A. and revolving around the titular holiday. The whole thing feels like someone threw together a bunch of half-formed ideas from the cookie cutter bin of rom-com concepts because they couldn’t flesh them out into feature length.

Ashton Kutcher is the central character, a florist who gets dumped by his fiancée, Jessica Alba. His best friend, Jennifer Garner, is dating a doctor (Patrick Dempsey), who turns out to be married. Jessica Biel is a sports agent who bonds with Jamie Foxx, a news reporter, over their mutual distaste for Valentine’s Day. Topher Grace works as a mail room clerk in Biel’s office and begins dating the receptionist, Anne Hathaway, who secretly doubles as a phone sex operator. Julia Roberts is an Army captain who shares a plane seat with Bradley Cooper.

The over bloated cast also includes: Julia’s niece Emma, Hector Elizondo, Shirley MacLaine, Queen Latifah, Eric Dane, Kathy Bates, and Joe Mantegna.

The Taylors, Lautner and Swift, also appear as a couple of high schoolers in love. They’re good-looking, bubbly, and empty headed. That pretty much sums up the entire movie. Everybody in the movie is hot, rich, and somehow keep managing to bump into each other. The interconnected contrivances are a lot like Crash, except with romance instead of racism. They all live in some fantasy world version of Los Angeles completely lacking in traffic, crime, or racial diversity. In Valentine’s Day, the only Mexican in L.A. is George Lopez.

Rating: *

New York, I Love You

New York, I Love You - Dirs. Various (2009)


Anthology films are always a mixed bag filled with hits and misses. New York, I Love You is the follow-up to Paris, je t’aime and the second in the “Cities of Love” franchise. Films set in Shanghai, Rio de Janeiro, and Jerusalem are coming.

Paris featured a series of short films set in the City of Lights and directed by a talented assortment of filmmakers such as Alfonso Cuaron (Children of Men), Olivier Assayas (Irma Vep), Gus Van Sant, Wes Craven, and the Coen Brothers. Its successor is comprised of several shorts about romance in the Big Apple. Though the directors aren’t of the same pedigree as Paris, New York has assembled an A-list ensemble of actors. Unlike Paris, New York attempts to connect each story with interstitials of the various characters bumping into each other.

The film begins with a segment by actor/director Jiang Wen (Devils on the Doorstep) with Hayden Christensen as a pickpocket who runs into Rachel Bilson and a more experienced thief in Andy Garcia. Mira Nair directs the next short starring Natalie Portman as a Hasidic Jew negotiating a sale of jewelry with a Hindu man. They bond over their respective relationships and religions. Portman also makes her directorial debut with a later vignette involving a male nanny (Carlos Acosta) and his young charge.

Scarlett Johansson also made her directorial debut with a black & white segment starring Kevin Bacon. Titled “These Vagabond Shoes,” it was cut from the theatrical release, but is available on the DVD.

It says a lot about New York, I Love You when the strongest episode is the one directed by freakin’ Brett Ratner. His segment features Anton Yelchin taking a blind date to the prom. The date (Olivia Thirlby) arrives at the door in a wheelchair. It’s a cute short that doesn’t end quite as you’d expect. Joshua Marston (Maria Full of Grace) helms the second best segment with Eli Wallach and Cloris Leachman as an elderly couple bickering along the streets of NY.

The movie makes its audience feel like a passive viewer floating through the lives of the city’s inhabitants. Unfortunately, these lives are just plain dull. Everything is so innocuous. None of the directors have anything interesting to say about love, relationships, or the city. Except for a scene in Central Park, there’s nothing distinctly New York about the film. It could have been called Toronto, I Love You without much difference.

All the shorts look exactly the same with the sequence by Shekhar Kepur who took over from the late Anthony Minghella. Kepur gives his piece an ethereal quality grounded by the wonderful presence of Julie Christie as a blind opera singer. However, everything is so confoundingly pretentious (or pretentiously confounding, if you prefer) coupled with Shia LaBeouf laughingly playing a crippled bellhop with some indiscernible accent. Mutt Williams as Igor.

New York, I Love You may be a slick and polished affair, but it has all the substance of a bad student film festival.

Rating: *

The A-Team

The A-Team - Dir. Joe Carnahan (2010)


”…if you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them…maybe you can hire…THE A-TEAM!”

The record for adapting old TV shows into successful feature films has been less than stellar. The Fugitive is the only true standout. Several rungs down the ladder are middling efforts like Starsky and Hutch and Miami Vice. Dwelling in the basement are truly terrible movies such as Land of the Lost, The Beverly Hillbillies, and Dukes of Hazzard. Joining the ranks of big-budget Hollywood remakes is The A-Team which finds itself somewhere in the middle. It’s certainly not high-brow cinema, but it is pure popcorn entertainment. The A-Team manages to capture the campy overtones and ludicrous elements of the original series. In return, the movie version asks nothing more from its audience than to turn off their brains and not over think a non-stop barrage of nonsensical action sequences.

A movie version of The A-Team has been in development for well over a decade. It’s taken so long that the team was originally changed from Vietnam vets to veterans of the Gulf War. Later, they were stationed in the Middle East just before the Iraq invasion. Now, they’re station in Iraq at the time of the troop withdrawal. All the players remain relatively the same.

Liam Neeson fills the very big shoes of the late-George Peppard as the cigar chomping team leader, Col. Hannibal Smith. Bradley Cooper is Lt. Templeton “Faceman” Peck and District 9’s Sharlto Copley is their crazy pilot, Capt. H.M. “Howling Mad” Murdock. Finally, we have MMA fighter Quinton “Rampage” Jackson as the Mohawk-wearing bruiser, B.A. Baracus.

The film opens with a messy prologue showing how the A-Team was assembled. While working to take down a corrupt Mexican general, Face is captured in the enemy camp. Running through the desert to his rescue, Hannibal just happens to come across B.A. driving his trademark black van. B.A. is stuck south of the border, forced to steal cars as a ransom for his van being held hostage. It doesn’t really make sense since B.A. just beats all the guys up and takes his van anyway. But, logic is a foreign concept in this film. Face is saved and the trio rendezvous at a military hospital where they pick up the nutty Murdock.

Fast-forward eight years and we pick up at the troop withdrawal. The A-Team is approached by a CIA agent named Lynch (Patrick Wilson) requests their help in stealing back printing plates that could be used to counterfeit U.S. currency. Predictably, our heroes are double-crossed by a private security force led by Pike (Brian Bloom, also one of the credited screenwriters). The plates are blown up along with their commanding officer, Gen. Morrison (Gerald McRaney). Now, the team must break out of separate federal prisons and clear their names with Face’s former flame, Capt. Sosa (Jessica Biel), hot on their heels.

Neeson brings more than a sly smile to the picture; he lends a sense of credibility which is sorely needed. Only Neeson can make you buy into a discussion he has about Gandhi with a fellow that has “PITY” and “FOOL” tattooed on his knuckles. The same goes for Cooper and Copley, the latter of whom is hilarious and far more manic than the original Murdock. Jackson feels dispensable as Baracus, No one can replace Mr. T, but Jackson brings nothing unique to the table.

Hannibal’s famous catchphrase has always been, “I love it when a plan comes together.” He coins a new one in the film, ”Overkill is underrated,” and overkill is a specialty of Joe Carnahan, who previously directed Narc and Smokin’ Aces. He’s like Tarantino with A.D.D., but without the encyclopedic knowledge of cinema. Strike that. Carnahan is a knockoff of a Tarantino knockoff (ahem…Guy Ritchie). He furiously whips us about from one over-the-top action scene to another. We watch as the A-Team play the world’s biggest shell game with cargo containers and attempt to steer a tank as it plummets through the air.

The A-Team is the dictionary definition of the Hollywood summer blockbuster. It’s loud, dumb, and goofy fun for the undemanding moviegoer.

P.S. – Make sure to stick around until the credits end for a pair of quick cameos.

Rating: ***

The Hangover

The Hangover - Dir. Todd Phillips (2009)

The Hangover is crude, low-brow and profane. It’s a film that signifies the continuing collapse of decency in society. And I loved nearly every minute of it. Todd Phillips, the director of Old School, returns to the theme of the man-child giving in to his rampaging id with hilarious results.

Doug (Justin Bartha) is about to get married and heads off to Vegas with his buddies for a one last night of debauchery. Doug’s pals include: Phil (Bradley Cooper), a married man and prep school teacher who obviously longs for his frat boy days; Stu (Ed Helms), a nerdy dentist trapped in an unhealthy a harpy named Melissa (played by Helms’ fellow Daily Show alumnus Rachael Harris); and Alan (Zach Galifianakis), his future brother-in-law. Alan is socially awkward and looking for acceptance within Doug’s circle of close friends. He’s practically a big baby which is never more evident than a scene where Galifianakis stands there in his tightie whities.

The quartet checks into a luxurious suite at Caesar’s Palace (at the cost of an obscene $4200 per night) before having a toast on the hotel’s roof. They wake up the next morning and have no memory of what’s happened since then. Their suite is trashed, Stu is missing a tooth, Doug is gone, and there’s a baby and a tiger. Oh, and they’ve been driving around in a stolen police car. What follows is a bumbling amateur detective story as the protagonists attempt to piece together their missing memories. Some of the highlights include Stu marrying a stripper played by Heather Graham (who never looked more gorgeous) and a memorable run-in with Mike Tyson. If you’ve seen the trailer then you know what I’m talking about.

The trailer got an uproarious reaction from audiences and no doubt spread word like wildfire. The Hangover did nearly $45 million on opening weekend and thus far has made over $200 million worldwide. The trailer was so good, you worry that it gave away all the best parts of the film. Galifianakis takes a taser to the face while Tyson sings along to “In the Air Tonight.” While memorable scenes, The Hangover still brings plenty of funny with outrageous situations. Galifianakis provides some of the film’s best one-liners due to his character’s child-like naiveté. Cooper is perfect in the role of the cocky pretty boy and Helms is excellent as the straight man, playing off wonderfully with his cast mates. Bartha is something of a non-entity since he disappears for much of the film, but it’s no big loss.

The first two-thirds of the film are great along with the photo montage during the end credits. Really, the film only sputters during the final act after most of the events of the last night have been revealed. Another misstep is Ken Jeong in a small role as a mobster who is both stereotypically Asian and stereotypically gay.

It’s hard to believe such an amusing film was written by Jon Lucas and Scott Moore, the team who also wrote the unfunny turds, Four Christmases and The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past. The Hangover won’t be to everyone’s taste, but I’ll rank it as one of the funniest movies of the year so far. There’s not much coming in the second half of 2009 that look like it’ll give Hangover a run for its money.

P.S. – If I pay eight bucks for a film, I demand to see both of Heather Graham’s boobs. Not just one.

Rating: *** 1/2