The Expendables 3

The Expendables 3 - Dir. Patrick Hughes (2014)

Menahem Golan passed away on August 8^th at the age of 85. Most of you might not know his name, but you definitely know his work. Golan directed The Delta Force with Chuck Norris and Over the Top with Sylvester Stallone. Golan was better known as a prolific producer who took over Cannon Films in 1979 with his cousin Yoram Globus. Together, they churned out  movies like Missing in Action, Death Wish II through Death Wish 4, American Ninja, Masters of the Universe, and Superman IV: The Quest for Peace. Sure, they weren't classics, but their output became synonymous with the 80's action era.

Stallone has found a way to keep that genre on life support with The Expendables series. Each film sees Stallone assemble an all-star cast of action heroes for two hours of explosions, mayhem, and bloodshed. These movies are heavy on testosterone, but the scripts are light on plot, characterization, and wit. Still, the franchise has kept afloat as we now get set for The Expendables 3.

Barney Ross (Stallone) and his team of Lee Christmas (Jason Statham), Hale Caesar (Terry Crews), Gunner Jensen (Dolph Lundgren), and Toll Road (Randy Couture) are dropped into some anonymous Eastern European country. In a wild opener, the team rescues Doctor Death (Wesley Snipes), a founding member of the Expendables who has been imprisoned for years after a failed assassination attempt. Doc proceeds to hijack a transport train and crash it into the prison, likely killing hundreds of guards and inmates, just to get revenge on the sadistic warden. There's no rest for the wicked as Ross and company are tasked with taking out a notorious arms dealer, who is revealed to be Conrad Stonebanks (Mel Gibson), another founding member. Stonebanks was seemingly killed by Ross after turning to the dark side.

The Expendables barely escape with Hale Caesar suffering life threatening injuries. Not wanting to see anymore of his comrades dead, Ross puts together an all-new team with of fresh faces. Meet Smilee (Kellan Lutz), Mars (Victor Ortiz), Thorn (Glen Powell), and Luna (Ronda Rousey).

The Expendables has largely traded on nostalgia. In particular, the sequel featured the novelty of Jean-Claude Van Damme as a Euro-trash villain and the trifecta of Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Stallone sharing the screen and mowing down wave after wave of faceless henchmen. Sadly, Expendables 3 seems to have forgotten about the elements that make the whole endeavor work. Yes, Stallone has added several notable names to the roster, but they aren't expected stars like Steven Seagal or Jackie Chan. Wesley Snipes makes his return to the screen and he's clearly enjoying the opportunity. There's a meta-moment when Snipes jokes that he was serving time for tax evasion. He's got great charisma as does Antonio Banderas as the loquacious Galgo, who is overly eager to join up with the Expendables.

When Willis split over a disagreement in pay, Harrison Ford stepped in as the new CIA handler Max Drummer. Ford is at crotchety level 11, growling and snarling every piece of dialogue. However, he's still Harrison Ford and the best one-liners they can come up with is, "That's gotta hurt." Chalk that up to a screenplay by Stallone and the team of Creighton Rothenberger & Katrin Benedikt, who also penned Olympus Has Fallen. Mel Gibson finds himself in the same boat. He chews the scenery whenever he gets the chance as the villain, who's not as cartoonish as Luther Voz in Machete Kills.

One nice surprise is Kelsey Grammer, an actor not exactly known for action roles. But, it's been the summer of Frasier with Grammer also appearing in X-Men: Days of Future Past and Transformers: Age of Extinction. Grammer plays Bonaparte, a facilitator that assists Ross in recruiting young blood.

Therein lays the primary problem with The Expendables 3. People came to see the big stars, not a bunch of newbies. Expendables: The Next Generation barely has the chance to develop any sort of personality other than one is a tech expert and one is a woman. Speaking of which, UFC's Ronda Rousey is a welcome change for this overwhelming sausage party, but she gives wooden line readings for the few bits of dialogue she's given. Stick with punching dudes in the face. Kellan Lutz plays a down-and-out soldier with an anti-authority issue, which never gets brought up again. The whole idea of bringing them in makes no sense. Barney Ross doesn't want his friends to die, but has no problem getting people he just met killed? And the more time we spend with them, the less we do with actors that are actually interesting.

After the slam-bang prologue, the movie lulls into a slumber as it introduces the new characters and puts them into danger so the old guard can come to their rescue. At over 2 hours long, the third installment is the lengthiest off the trilogy and there was just no need for those additional twenty minutes. The movie doesn’t pick up until the third act when Expendables of all ages join forces to battle Stonebanks and the entire army of a fictional Slavic country. Since this is PG-13, limbs aren't chopped off and human bodies aren't blown to bits. Just because Expendables 3 isn't R-rated, doesn't meant the body count has lessened. Hundreds of soldiers are gunned down, blown up by grenades, or impaled by throwing knives. Almost everyone gets their own moment to shine, from Rousey using MMA moves to snap limbs to Lutz pulling a Steve McQueen by jumping a motorcycle. Ford busts out his piloting skills by flying a chopper into the combat zone with Arnold and Jet Li riding shotgun. By the way, Jet Li pops up for about five minutes and all he does is fire a machine gun, despite being one of the greatest martial arts stars in movie history. And while Arnold doesn't bust out another "I'll be back," he does reprise his famous line from Predator, "Get to da choppa!"

Stallone and Schwarzenegger share a quiet scene in which the two contemplate retiring from the gun-for-hire business. You could also take it as commentary on their acting careers. Neither man has lit up the box office the way they did back in the 80's. They aren't slow down either with Stallone set for Rambo V and Arnold working on Terminator: Genesys and Legend of Conan. They might not be ready to hang up their combat boots, but maybe it's time to put The Expendables out to pasture if this is the best they can do.

Rating: * ½ (*****)

Cowboys & Aliens

Cowboys & Aliens - Dir. Jon Favreau (2011)

Cowboys & Aliens has one of those high-concept titles that tells you exactly what you're going to get. Just like Snakes on a Plane had snakes on a plane, Cowboys & Aliens has cowboys and aliens. It should have been a cool mish-mash of Western and sci-fi genres, but, again, like Snakes on a Plane worked better as a joke on paper. Based loosely on a graphic novel published by Platinum Studios, Cowboys & Aliens had all the makings of a successful summer blockbuster. It had two renowned leading men together for the first time in Daniel Craig and Harrison (James Bond and Indiana Jones!). It had a talented director with a proven track record in Jon Favreau (Iron Man). Steven Spielberg, Ron Howard, and Brian Grazer were among the producers. Credited screenwriters included Roberto Orci & Alex Kurtzman (Transformers), Damon Lindelof (Lost), Mark Fergus & Hawk Ostby (also of Iron Man), and Steve Oedekerk (Kung Pow: Enter the Fist), who was attached to write and direct way back in 1997. Hmm…okay that last one was odd, but you can hardly hang the film's failures on a singular man.

Cowboys & Aliens opens with an unidentified man (Craig) awakening in the desert with no memory of who he is or where he came from. There's also a bizarre bracelet attached to his wrist. After killing a trio of assailants, he makes his way to the small town of Absolution where we learn he is a wanted outlaw named Jake Lonergan. The whole town lives in fear of local cattle baron, Col. Woodrow Dolarhyde (Ford), whose sniveling son, Percy (Paul Dano), has also arrived to drunkenly shoot up the place and bully the barkeep Doc (Sam Rockwell). When the Colonel learns Percy and Lonergan have been arrested, he rides into Absolution with the intent of taking them both. Just as the six-shooters are about to be drawn, mysterious lights flash in the sky. The aliens have arrived on crab-like vessels destroying everything below and snatching up innocent people left and right. Among those taken are Percy, Sheriff Taggart (Keith Carradine), and Doc's wife Maria (Ana de la Reguera). Lonergan discovers his bracelet is actually an advanced weapon capable of detecting the aliens and destroying their ships.

Lonergan and Dolarhyde reluctantly form a posse to rescue their people and stave off the alien invasion. Among their group include Doc, Dolarhyde's Native American servant Nat Colorado (Adam Beach, the Sheriff's grandson Emmett (Noah Ringer), the gruff reverend Meacham (Clancy Brown), and a mysterious woman named Ella (Olivia Wilde). Eventually they are all forced to team up with a tribe of Apaches and a band of ruthless outlaws in a final showdown with the extraterrestrials.

The film starts with a strong first act mimicking all the standard tropes of the Western with the taciturn hero and Mexican standoffs. Favreau does his best to ground the story in some semblance of reality even after the outlandish introduction of space invaders. Then, things start going off the rails. The momentum built up at the beginning drops into a second act lull as the plot takes its time to develop its thinly drawn characters. The narrative is clumsily dotted with flashback sequences of Lonergan's fuzzy past. Ford is initially cast against type as a gruff and slightly racist antagonist, but he's Harrison Ford and can't stay that way the whole movie. He's significantly softened with two cheesy subplots of Dolarhyde acting as a surrogate father to Nat and Emmett. The movie also gets taken down a notch with the early loss of Paul Dano, who served as an excellent whipping boy to Craig's Lonergan. Despite her insane gorgeousness, Olivia Wilde appears only as a functionary character to deliver helpful exposition and act as a deus ex machine to defeat the aliens. Also wasted are great character actors like Keith Carradine, Walt Goggins, and Clancy Brown.

Favreau is a solid director with a knack for handling large ensembles, but he's not the flashiest when it comes to action. His finales (both Iron Man movies, for example) tend to build up strong and then fizzle out towards the end. Cowboys & Aliens suffers from an anti-climatic finish as the final battle between the humans and aliens becomes monotonous and easily forgettable.

While classic Westerns like The Searchers served as inspiration, Cowboys & Aliens (with its wooden dialogue and silly plot contrivances) recalls the B-movie productions of Roger Corman. There is an underlying irony beneath the pedestrian narrative about our nation's history of genocide and Manifest Destiny, but don't think for an instance this movie is an allegory for American imperialism. Cowboys & Aliens isn't a game changing genre bender. It is summer entertainment. Mindless escapism in its purest form.

Rating: ** (*****)

Morning Glory

Morning Glory - Dir. Roger Michell (2010)

In the vein of Broadcast News comes Morning Glory, a slick and breezy comedy from director Roger Michell (Notting Hill), producer JJ Abrams (Lost, Star Trek), and screenwriter Aline Brosh McKenna, who previously turned her attention to the world of fashion with The Devil Wears Prada.

Rachel McAdams plays the plucky heroine in Becky Fuller, a news producer for the morning talk show, Good Morning, New Jersey. We're introduced to her during a dinner date in the middle of the afternoon (her work day starts at 1:30AM) and she spends most of her time trying not to answer her Blackberry. She's not the typical Type-A personality of rom-com trappings, but she's a workaholic. Despite her best efforts, Becky is laid off due to budget cuts. Her mom lectures her about finally getting a real job, despite the fact that Becky has only been unemployed for like 2 hours.

After a dizzying montage of phone calls, Becky moves to the hustle and bustle of the Big Apple when she becomes the executive producer for Daybreak, which airs on the struggling IBS Network. I'm sure somebody knew what they were doing when they matched the initials to Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Anyways, Daybreak is dead last in the ratings and it's up to the perennially perky Becky to turn things around. Her first order of business is firing the show's overly tanned co-anchor (a criminally underused Ty Burrell) due to his creepy foot fetish.

Becky finds a replacement in veteran newsman, Mike Pomeroy (Harrison Ford), who is currently content to sit at home and collect fat paychecks until his contract expires. Becky forces him onto Daybreak due to a loophole in legal mumbo jumbo. Pomeroy used to be IBS's Dan Rather, covering wars and interviewing heads of state, and he isn't about to do stories on baby chicks. He also refuses to say the word, "fluffy." Becky is run ragged as she deals with Pomeroy's uncontrollable ego, plummeting ratings, and a budding romance with another IBS producer (Patrick Wilson).

Diane Keaton co-stars as Colleen Peck (Diane Keaton), a former Miss Arizona whose own ego struggles for dominance over Pomeroy's. Morning Glory also features Jeff Goldblum as Becky's boss and cameos from 50 Cent and reporters Morley Safer and Bob Schieffer.

Much like the morning programs it pokes fun at; the movie is light with a tart, saccharine flavor. It's brightly colored and slickly shot picture that never digs deeper beyond the superficial. The romantic subplot is trite with the usual second act complication shoehorned in so the couple can split then make up during the final act.

Rachel McAdams is effervescent as Becky Fuller. She's one of the film's bright spots and is engaging enough to keep you somewhat interested in the stale narrative. Becky is a dash of Mary Tyler Moore and there are parallels to Marlo Thomas with McAdams running through New York City in slow motion as flocks of pigeons fly about her. But, McAdams is never given the material to grow beyond being a sitcom creation. It's also odd that Becky would cite Pomeroy as an inspiration, yet become so preoccupied with ratings and inconsequential puff pieces. I will give kudos to Roger Michell for throwing in a very nice butt shot of McAdams.

Harrison Ford is funny in a one-note performance as the crotchety curmudgeon, but, for a famed journalist, he barely registers above laconic when he's delivering serious news. Diane Keaton doesn't get much to do other than play Ford's foil and try to dance with 50 Cent. Ty Burrell is utterly wasted. He's only in about three scenes, but he's easily the best thing in the movie.

If you're looking for lightweight entertainment, you could do worse than Morning Glory. However, as a film set in the world of network news, it's hardly Network or even Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy.

Rating: **

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom...

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - Dir. Steven Spielberg (2008)

Harrison Ford dusts off the old fedora and whip as he plunks Indy right into the middle of a 1950's B-movie.

Descends into one long, CGI-fueled carnival ride with plenty of missed potential. Yet, still a fun popcorn film.

Don't go in with high expectations.