White House Down

White House Down - Dir. Roland Emmerich (2013)

Roland Emmerich sure gets a kick out of destroying Washington DC. He famously blew up the White House in Independence Day then wiped out the entire city with a massive tsunami in 2012. Emmerich isn't done with the nation's capital yet as he presents White House Down, the year's second film depicting the President's home under siege by terrorists.

Instead of Gerard Butler, we get Channing Tatum as John Cale, DC police officer and former Iraq War vet working security detail for the Speaker of the House (Richard Jenkins). He's a perennial underachiever and an absentee father. Cashing in a favor from his boss, Cale gets an interview to join the Secret Service and takes along his daughter, Emily (Joey King), hoping the young political junkie will be impressed by a VIP tour of the White House. Cale flops during the interview with Agent Carol Finnerty (Maggie Gyllenhaal), but gets a chance to prove himself when a team of mercenaries and white supremacists infiltrate the White House and capture President James Sawyer (Jamie Foxx). The baddies are led by Emil Stenz (Jason Clarke), an ex-Special Forces operative, with assistance from turncoat Martin Walker (James Woods).

While Olympus Has Fallen cribs far more from Die Hard, White House Down borrows only a few elements. Its protagonist not only has a similar name to John McClane, he spends most of the movie running around in a dirty tank top. One of the villains (Jimmi Simpson) listens to "Ode to Joy" as he hacks into NORAD. White House Down isn't as self-serious as Olympus either as Emmerich recognizes the inherent silliness of it all. This is a movie where even the nerdy tour guide gets a kill a bad guy and everything comes down to a nuclear weapon and an edge-of-your-seat countdown. Yes, White House Down goes down some incredibly stupid roads, such as a car chase on the south lawn or when the presidential limo just happens to have a rocket launcher hidden in the back seat. Also, what genius decided to mount a covert assault by sending attack choppers through the DC streets in plain sight of any traffic camera or cell phone? Screenwriter James Vanderbilt (Zodiac, The Amazing Spider-Man) practically draws a bright, bold arrow each time a plot element is introduced for a later payoff. Do you think President Sawyer's pocket watch from Abraham Lincoln will be important later on?

Tatum is a welcome antidote to the grim-faced Butler. He ably carries the film on his broad shoulders by playing the lovable lunkhead we've come to know in 21 Jump Street and Magic Mike. He's helped by the fun chemistry he shares with Jamie Foxx as the idealized Obama, who ushers in world peace, dismantles the military-industrial complex, and looks good in a pair of stylish Air Jordans. Jason Clarke doesn't get much to do as the ruthless Stenz though you can easily picture this being the eventual path of his character from Zero Dark Thirty. James Woods is at his slimy best though Emmerich wastes a stacked supporting cast that includes Maggie Gyllenhaal, Richard Jenkins, Lance Reddick, and Michael Murphy.

Drowning in effects-laden action and ham-fisted jingoism, White House Down is an unmistakable product of Emmerich's brand of summer shlock.

Rating: ** (*****)

Jack Reacher

Jack Reacher - Dir. Christopher McQuarrie (2012)

"Do you think I'm a hero? I am not a hero. And if you're smart, that scares you."

Even without the tragic headlines still fresh in our minds, the opening of Jack Reacher is a tense and disturbing sequence as a sniper primes himself across from PNC Park, home of the Pittsburgh Pirates. We peer through the crosshairs of his rifle scope as the shooter picks off five targets, including a woman clutching a child while fleeing for safety. The investigation is swift and a retired Army sniper named James Barr (Joseph Sikora) is apprehended. During his interrogation by D.A. Alex Rodin (Richard Jenkins) and Det. Emerson (David Oyelowo), Barr remains silent and simply writes on a legal pad, "Get Jack Reacher."

Reacher (Tom Cruise) is a hard man to find. A decorated soldier and a former military investigator, Reacher has dropped off the grid completely. He drifts across the country with only the clothes on his back and a portable toothbrush in his pocket. He's so old-school that he still uses pay phones. You don't find Jack Reacher, Jack Reacher finds you. Reacher is familiar with Barr from a previous case and doesn't arrive as a savior crusading for his innocence, but to ensure he is properly punished for his crime. Despite the pleas of Barr's defense attorney, Helen Rodin (Rosamund Pike), who also happens to be the district attorney's daughter, Reacher is ready to take the first bus out of town.

However, something bothers Reacher about the murders and he sticks around. As he digs deeper, Reacher unravels a dark conspiracy involving a clandestine cartel headed up by a man known only as The Zec (Werner Herzog). The Zec is a chilling puppet master who chewed off his own frostbitten fingers while imprisoned in a Siberian gulag.

There was immediate controversy when Tom Cruise was cast as Jack Reacher, the hero from a series of novels by Lee Child. In the books, Reacher is described as a craggily 6'5 juggernaut with shortly cropped blond hair. He's John Rambo, Sherlock Holmes, and the entire A-Team rolled into one. Imagine everyone's surprise when the 5'7 Cruise stepped into his large shoes. There are moments where Tom Cruise's…well, Tom Cruise-ness works for and against his portrayal of a no-nonsense action hero.

It's rare to find someone physically imposing with the acting chops to kick start a blockbuster franchise. The filmmakers could have gone for someone like Dolph Lundgren or The Rock, both of whom likely would have given a one note performance. Liam Neeson might have done in a pinch or Ray Stevenson. A younger Clint Eastwood could have also been a good choice, especially since the sniper angle is reminiscent of Dirty Harry. In any event, Cruise won the role and had the clout to get it made. At 50 years old, Cruise doesn't look like he's aged in the past two decades. Not an easy task to picture the exceedingly handsome star as a world weary combat veteran who shops at Goodwill. It doesn't help that Cruise's leading lady, Rosamund Pike, is taller than he is.

What Cruise does possess is a grim determination and a forceful screen presence. He may not be playing Jack Reacher any differently than Ethan Hunt or John Anderton, but he's convincing when delivering tough guy lines, such as when he threatens to beat someone to death and drink their blood from a boot. Cruise's Reacher isn't the guy you don't want to mess with, he's the guy you mess with and realize what a mistake that was. Cruise's small stature leads to one of the movie's cleverest sequences in which Reacher evades the police by simply stepping into a crowd waiting at a bus stop.

Jack Reacher was adapted for the screen by Christopher McQuarrie, best known for writing The Usual Suspects. This is his second directorial effort with the first being 2000's Way of the Gun. Handsomely photographed by Caleb Deschanel, Jack Reacher is an old-fashioned action film with McQuarrie eschewing the rapid-fire editing employed by many directors. The fight scenes are captured with a steady camera and a series of extended shots with Cruise performing the majority of his own stunts. There's a climatic confrontation in a quarry as well as a prolonged car chase, a throwback to Bullitt with Cruise ripping through the streets of Pittsburgh in a '70 Chevelle.

The script takes a by-the-numbers approach to the genre and though Cruise is miscast, he handles the material well. What really boosts the film is the inspired casting of German auteur Werner Herzog as the Zec. Despite being on screen for maybe ten minutes, Herzog is one of the most memorable movie villains in recent memory. He is downright eerie as he drones on in that unmistakable drawl of his. The plot centers on a needlessly complex obfuscation, but Herzog is so creepy you're quick to believe his mind works on such byzantine levels. Robert Duvall is also terrific when he pops up in the third act playing a crusty coot as only Robert Duvall can.

Jack Reacher is a rather generic start to a potential franchise for Tom Cruise and Paramount. Still, the movie stands as a solid bit of popcorn entertainment with several well done action sequences. Herzog and Duvall are certainly worth the price of admission.

Rating: ** ½ (*****)

Killing Them Softly

Killing Them Softly - Dir. Andrew Dominik (2012)

"You ever kill anyone? They get touchy-feely, emotional, a lot of fuss. They either plead or beg. They call for their mothers. I like to kill 'em softly…from a distance."

As the old saying goes, "Never judge a book by its cover." So it goes with Killing Them Softly, a film seemingly depicted by the trailers as an action-packed crime thriller. Comparing it to a John Woo movie, would be like comparing Drive to The Fast and the Furious. Killing Them Softly is arthouse noir masquerading as typical multiplex fare.

Killing Them Softly is written and directed by Andrew Dominik whose previous film was The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, a hauntingly beautiful picture that had more in common with Terrence Malick than the average shoot 'em up Western. Dominik's latest work is based on the 1974 novel, Cogan's Trade, by George V. Higgins, who stands alongside Dennis Lehane as one of the preeminent authors of Boston crime fiction. The only other book by Higgins that has been translated to cinema is The Friends of Eddie Coyle, a cult classic of gritty 70's cinema with Robert Mitchum perfectly cast in the title role of a low-level crook forced to turn informant to avoid prison.

The stylish dialogue remains largely intact, but Dominik has moved the story to a post-Katrina New Orleans in 2008. Obama, Bush, and John McCain serve as a Greek chorus as excerpts of their speeches about the financial collapse, the massive bailouts, and the murky future of the country play throughout the movie. Dominik sets the stage with a jarring opening as audio of then-Senator Obama's speech at the Democratic National Convention is intercut with distorted feedback. A lone figure walks through the desolate streets as litter floats around him. The final images are side-by-side billboards of the presidential candidates and their photogenic smiles as they survey the ruined kingdom they hope will be their prize. It's a prologue that feels ripped out of an experimental film.

From there, Killing Them Softly cuts to a more conventional scene as Johnny Amato aka Squirrel (Vincent Curatola) hires two crooks, Frankie (Scoot McNairy) and his drug-addled friend Russell (Ben Mendelsohn), to knock over a high-stakes poker game for mobsters. The clandestine games are run by Markie Trattman (Ray Liotta), who actually robbed one of his games years ago. No one could prove he did it though he later drunkenly bragged about pulling the job, yet his bosses still gave him a pass. Johnny knows that if the game is robbed again, it will be Markie who falls immediately under suspicion. This is where Jackie Cogan (Brad Pitt) enters the story (after almost half an hour) in grand fashion, snorting cigarette smoke and driving a classic town car to the tune of "The Man Comes Around" by Johnny Cash. Cogan is hired to track down the thieves and deal with them in his own indomitable manner.

Dominik incessantly hammers home the idea that the entire film is a parable for the economic crisis and that there is little difference between the financial sector and organized crime. The heads of the mafia are never seen and only represented by Richard Jenkins as a middle management suit exasperated by the corporate structure he's entrenched in. Only in this corporate structure could Trattman be allowed to steal from his own company and be placed in a position where he could do so again. Cogan himself is surrounded by incompetent underlings and indecisive superiors. They move about in a world where everyone makes their money by gambling, stealing, and scamming from one another. It's a world where loyalty is an inconvenience when it comes to saving your own ass. It's a thoroughly masculine world too with the only female character in the movie being a prostitute.

Then, there's New York Mickey (James Gandolfini) who could be seen as a thinly veiled representation of the SEC or any other ineffectual watchdog committee. Mickey is a renowned enforcer brought in by Cogan to assist in the murder of Johnny Amato. Much to Cogan's dismay, Mickey has become a bitter shell of his former self. Mickey drowns his self-pity with booze and hookers as he bemoans his shattered marriage and an impending prison sentence.

Buried underneath the ham-fisted political rhetoric is a compelling film yearning to breathe. The dialogue crackles and the performances are strong. Pitt moves across the screen with an effortless swagger wrapped in a black leather coat. The scenes he shares with Gandolfini are some of the best in the movie though they could have been excised entirely with no impact to the rest of the narrative. They exist as if they were separate one-act plays written by David Mamet. Gandolfini initially turned the part down due to its similarities to Tony Soprano. Gandolfini isn't the only one typecast as a gangster, there's also Ray Liotta and Vincent Curatola, another Sopranos alum. You can easily see Soprano, Henry Hill, and Johnny Sack slowly turning into these pathetic wrecks. However, their roles feel short changed, not surprising since Dominik edited the picture from an early two and a half hour cut to 97 minutes. One supporting standout is Ben Mendelsohn, an Aussie actor used to portraying scumbags. He recently popped up as a ruthless executive in The Dark Knight Rises, but first gained notice as the psychotic Pope in Animal Kingdom. As Russell, Mendelsohn is the definition of sleazy so much so you'll want to take a shower after watching him. He's constantly caked in a layer of sweat and dresses like a disheveled hobo. Sam Shepard appears in one scene as an enforcer named Dillon, who was superbly played by Peter Boyle in the aforementioned Friends of Eddie Coyle.

Anyone who has seen Assassination of Jesse James knows Dominik is capable of crafting gorgeous imagery. Killing Them Softly is no exception as Dominik stages sequences that are both poetic and violent. There's a brutal beatdown soaked in rain, blood, and vomit. Later, a shooting occurs in slow motion as a bullet exits a man's skull as beads of water and broken glass swim in a sea of crimson red. When Russell does heroin, Dominik uses a trippy first person perspective reminiscent of Gaspar Noé's interminable Enter the Void. The soundtrack selection is just as on the nose as Dominik's message with "Heroin" by Velvet Underground scoring the scene and Barrett Strong's "Money (That's What I Want)" over the end credits.

"I'm living in America and in America you're on your own. America's not a country, it's a business. Now fuckin' pay me."

That final line, delivered by Pitt as a cynical response to Obama's hopeful inaugural address, encapsulates Dominik's themes more succinctly than the heavy handed method he employs. It may be amusing to imagine a criminal underworld that subsists solely on a steady stream of C-SPAN and NPR, Killing Them Softly would have been better served with the same distanced approach used by its protagonist.

Rating: ** ½ (*****)

Happythankyoumoreplease

Happythankyoumoreplease - Dir. Josh Radnor (2010)

The last few years have seen a rise in the so-called mumblecore movement, a brand of low-budget independent film marked by character-driven stories about twentysomethings in a post-collegiate malaise. Happythankyoumoreplease isn't mumblecore. It belongs to mumblecore's big brother, hipstercore, a term I haven't seen used in conjunction with cinema. It is certainly apropos for a far too preciously titled film about trendy, young urbanites set to a soundtrack of acoustic guitar driven coffee shop pop.

Josh Radnor from CBS's How I Met Your Mother makes his debut as a writer and director with Happythankyoumoreplease. He also takes the starring role of Sam Wexler, a struggling author living in New York City. He's looking to make a big break with his novel entitled, The Other Great Thing About Vinyl. However, Sam's problem is he is a white guy from the suburbs and has nothing truly profound to say. Sam's life changes when he meets Rasheen (Michael Algieri), a little boy who is separated from his family on the subway. Rasheen has been bounced from foster home to foster home and refuses to be taken to child services or the police station. Sam ludicrously decides to let Rasheen stay with him for the time being. Sam's friends know this is a bad idea and their lives intersect with the main story.

Annie (Malin Akerman) is a bright-eyed office girl with alopecia, a condition that causes loss of hair throughout her body. She's a nice girl, who only seems to go out with jerks. Annie receives unwanted flirting with a nebbish co-worker also named Sam (Tony Hale). The original Sam's cousin, Mary Catherine (Zoe Kazan), loves the Big Apple and is troubled by her boyfriend Charlie's (Pablo Schreiber) desire to move to L.A. Sam's love life is in turmoil as well. He tries to romance a lovely bartender by the name of Mississippi (Kate Mara).

Reviews have inevitably compared Happythankyou with Zach Braff's Garden State. Aside from the fact that both marked the filmmaking debuts of sitcom stars, they don't have that much in common. For one thing "Happythankyou" lacks the strong female performance from Natalie Portman. As a director, Radnor is missing the visual cleverness of Braff. Radnor's style is competent, but bland and has all the visual flair of your average single camera sitcom.

Radnor's screenwriting feels like an earnest attempt to recapture the feel of Woody Allen's prime. The characters all have their neuroses, but never seem to rise above perfunctory quirks to become multi-dimensional human beings. One of Allen's most iconic characters was the city of New York itself. Happythankyou may be set in NYC, but it isn't uniquely New York and could have been set in almost any bustling metropolis. Radnor also spreads the script too thin by getting sidetracked with all the parallel subplots. The relationship between Mary and Charlie is the least developed and least interesting and could have easily been excised. The blossoming couple of Annie and Sam #2 wind up being more compelling than the A-story between Sam and Rasheen. This is due in no small part to the performances of Malin Akerman and Tony Hale. Akerman (who was so wooden in Watchmen) brings an infectious perkiness to her character. Meanwhile, Hale plays a low-key variation of the awkward Buster Bluth from Arrested Development.

The story of a struggling artist is always hard to sympathize with, especially when he's the mopey kind who lives in a spacious apartment he couldn't possibly afford. Happythankyoumoreplease tries so hard to be hip and insightful, but comes off as a derivative bore.

Rating: * ½ (*****)

The Kingdom

The Kingdom - Dir. Peter Berg (2007)

2007 was quite the year for politically charged movies. Hollywood dealt out their own liberal views on the war in the Middle East with films like In the Valley of Elah and Rendition. All three films received mixed reviews and raked in tepid box office revenue. The Kingdom followed suit using some of those same themes which isn´t surprising as screenwriter Matthew Carnahan also write Lions for Lambs. But, The Kingdom dials down the politics while upping the mayhem. It polishes up those hot-button topics with the glossy sheen that only a big-budget blockbuster can.

The film opens with a Cliff Notes quickie rundown history of the Saudi Arabia and its relationship with the U.S. Next, we're taken to a housing complex for oil company employees in the Saudi capital city of Riyadh. The residents are enjoying an afternoon softball game when two terrorists, wearing Saudi State Police uniforms, attack. They open fire on anyone and every house in their path drawing the real police. In the ensuing chaos, a suicide bomber, also in a stolen uniform, triggers an explosion killing himself and everyone in close proximity. However, these attacks are only the tip of the iceberg. The terrorists used these initial attacks to lure in first-responder teams and over a hundred people are killed in the following, and much larger, explosion. Among the victims was the FBI´s lead agent in Saudi Arabia, Special Agent Francis Manner (Kyle Chandler).

Special Agent Ronald Fleury (Jamie Foxx) has the unenviable task of bringing the terrorists to justice for the death of his friend and the others killed. He finds his hands tied as the Saudi royal family is reluctant to allow an FBI team into the country. They do not want to seem dependent on the Americans nor do they want more killed on their soil. The U.S. State Department is in agreement and refuses to authorize Fleury´s requests. Fleury turns to some back-room chicanery and blackmail to get the Saudis to open up the doors. He´s immediately on his way to Riyadh with an investigation team that consists of Special Agents Janet Mayes (Jennifer Garner), Adam Leavitt (Jason Bateman), and explosives expert Grant Sykes (Chris Cooper).

Once arriving in Riyadh, they find their investigation hindered by the Saudis. Fleury and company are no more than observers. They watch as the Saudi officials unknowingly contaminate the crime scene and overlook vital evidence. They are forced to live and sleep in a gym under lock and key. They are dogged at every step by Col. Faris Al-Ghazi (Ashraf Barhom), the head of security at the complex who has been relegated to babysitter for the Americans. Even the U.S. Embassy, in the form of Deputy Chief of Mission Damon Schmidt (Jeremy Piven), wants them on a plane and back home as quickly as possible. Fed up, Fleury does some more wheeling and dealing and the Saudi royals give him the green light to take over the investigation.

It´s at this point that the story finally kicks in as the film becomes "CSI: Saudi Arabia." While many reviews felt that these scenes were tedious, I disagree. I thought it was interesting seeing the FBI agents work the crime scene within the strict confines of Saudi laws and culture. In one scene, Agent Mayes upsets a pair of Saudi officers while trying to simply lift a corpse´s fingerprints. She is not allowed to touch the dead body of a Muslim. It´s disappointing that the procedural aspects give way to bullet-riddled action spectacle. The final third section of the picture features the heroes engaging in a harrowing gun battle with the perpetrators. It´s a shame that the filmmakers decided that the bad guys would be brought down at the end of a gun barrel rather than through detective work. I will say that the climactic action sequences are incredibly well-done, especially the final showdown. Director Peter Berg has proven he pull off stylish action following his work on the incredibly fun, The Rundown. Here, he brings that same flair to The Kingdom and it´s in line with the work of producer Michael Mann. Unfortunately, Berg tends to rely on shaky handheld shots, a technique which is has become a tiresome trend. What would be is to keep the camera steady and let us actually see what´s happening without getting a migraine.

The cast is strong, but their acting isn´t anything special. Foxx brings the same macho, tough-guy act he brought to Miami Vice and Garner is basically Sydney Bristow-lite. Cooper has some good scenes with a country fried good ol´ boy act that would do Tommy Lee Jones proud. Bateman tends to be a bit grating with his constant one-liners while Piven simply shows up and does his Ari Gold shtick. Really, the best performances come not from the headliners, but from two relatively unknown Palestinian actors, Barhom as Col. Al-Ghazi, and Ali Suliman as Sgt. Haytham. Filling out the supporting cast are Danny Huston (who pulls off an unconvincing Southern accent) as the attorney general, Frances Fisher as a reporter, Richard Jenkins as FBI Director Grace, along with cameos by Minka Kelly, Ashley Scott, and country singer Tim McGraw.

Many have labeled The Kingdom a jingoistic piece of cinema and it´s hard to disagree. Putting aside politics, the film is slipshod in its approach to storytelling. The first act of the film deals with political maneuvering; the middle act is a procedural investigation, while the final act takes the form of a slam-bang action movie. The film's zero-sum view on the war isn't as profound as it seems to think it is. The Kingdom does try to paint some Saudis in a positive light through a hackneyed friendship between Fleury and Al-Ghazi. At least, the filmmakers stopped short of having the two characters swap family photos. There´s nothing particularly special about The Kingdom that you should go out of your way to see it, but it´s worth a watch if you just want a flick to see while eating a tub of buttery popcorn.

Rating: ** ½ (*****)

Eat Pray Love

Eat Pray Love - Dir. Ryan Murphy (2010)

To say Elizabeth Gilbert's globe-trotting memoir, Eat Pray Love, was a smash hit would be an understatement. It was pimped by Oprah Winfrey and translated into over thirty languages.. It also spawned a slew of merchandise like Eat Pray Love jewelry, Eat Pray Love journals, Eat Pray Love perfume, and even Eat Pray Love lip gloss. No word on Eat Pray Love: The Flamethrower. Obviously it touched a nerve with women around the world and a feature film version was inevitable.

Julia Roberts plays the on-screen version of Gilbert, a freelance journalist stuck in an unhappy marriage with her husband, Steven (Billy Crudup). After the divorce, she engages in a rebound relationship with a sensitive young actor named David (James Franco). Still not content, Gilbert wants to go on a year long quest to find herself and her sympathetic publisher (Viola Davis) provides an advance to cover expenses.

The first leg of the journey takes her to Rome where she indulges in rich Italian cuisine. She even learns Italian from a hunk with the unlikely name of Luca Spaghetti. After four months of food, wine, and friends, Gilbert heads to India where she'll meditate in an ashram for the 'Pray' section of her adventure. Here, she meets Tulsi (Rushita Singh), a young girl readying for an arranged marriage, and Richard (Richard Jenkins), a recovering alcoholic from Texas who imparts barbs of wisdom on the soul-searching protagonist. After another four months, Gilbert concludes her voyage in Bali in order to study with a ninth-generation medicine man (Hadi Subiyanto) she met on an earlier trip. It is here that Gilbert hopes to find a balance between life and spirituality when the 'Love' portion of the film kicks in. She falls for an exceedingly swarthy Javier Bardem as a Brazilian businessman and fellow divorcee.

As a 30-year old male, I am hardly the targeted audience for Eat Pray Love. I haven't read the original book either. I'm sure there are plenty of reasons why it managed to captivate its audience enough to stay on the New York Times bestseller list for 187 weeks. Whatever the reasons, it didn't come across in the big-screen adaptation. The film's failures certainly don't fall on the shoulders of the cast. Julia Roberts does a great job of being Julia Roberts. When you hire her for the lead, it's because she's the embodiment of the beautiful Hollywood starlet and she can connect with movie-goers. Billy Crudup, James Franco, and Javier Bardem are all good as the men in her life, despite being relatively thin roles. Viola Davis and Richard Jenkins bring an additional layer of gravitas whenever they are present. Davis always seems to carry things to another level no matter how small her parts are. In Jenkins' case, his speech about the reasons why he's at the ashram is engrossing and nearly hijacks the entire movie.

The problem is the film lacks the raw substance necessary to truly latch onto it. Ryan Murphy, the creator of Nip/Tuck and Glee, directed the picture and co-wrote the script with Jennifer Salt. He does a fair job technically, but is unable to imbue the story with any sort of genuine emotional resonance. When we first meet Gilbert, all we know is that she is unhappy for whatever vague reasons. Once Eat Pray Love launches into a series of exotic locations, it becomes a cross between a travelogue and a reality show on Food Network. It's hard to sympathize with a well-to-do New Yorker who's getting paid to go on vacation. Someone who's biggest problem seems to be being unable to fit into her jeans after eating too much pizza. As the film concludes in Bali, it shifts into a standard romantic comedy as Roberts and Bardem pull a meet cute after he nearly runs her over. The conclusion flies in the face of the one of the film's central themes. Gilbert had defined herself based on her relationships and learned she didn't need a man to be happy. So of course, she finds one to literally ride off into the sunset with. Finally, the film is just way too long, clocking in at 133 minutes with a 146 minute director's cut hitting DVD and Blu-Ray. There's just too much eating, praying, and loving.

Eat Pray Love is a shiny, polished production set in good-looking locations populated by good-looking people. It's a chick flick through and through, but one that is not nearly as soulless as the Sex and the City movies. I'm sure someone else will give it three or four stars, but I didn't find it nearly as appetizing.

Rating: * ½ (*****)

Let Me In

Let Me In - Dir. Matt Reeves (2010)

It's rare when a remake equals the original and even rarer when it surpasses its progenitor. Unfortunately, most remakes just don't need to exist. Let Me In is just such a remake. The original film, Let the Right One In, is easily one of the best vampire movies ever made. Its only crime was apparently having subtitles, which means it doesn't exist in Hollywood's mind. Based on a novel by John Ajvide Lindqvist, Let the Right One In examined the darkness inside humanity through a chilling, unconventional love story that puts the teenage soap opera pap of the Twilight Saga to dire shame. The rights for the American adaptation were picked up by Hammer Films, producers of many classic Dracula movies starring Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing. The reins of the remake were handed to Matt Reeves, the director of Cloverfield, a Blair Witch-style take on the giant monster movie. Despite talks that Reeves would re-interpret the Lindqvist's book, Let Me In is simply a rehash of its predecessor.

Let Me In is set in the far removed town of Los Alamos, New Mexico in the year 1983. The Road's Kodi Smit-McPhee plays Owen drifting through the awkward pangs of pre-adolescence. His parents are in the midst of a messy divorce. Dad is never seen and is only ever heard during one phone call. Mom is always working and when she's home, spends much of her time soused on the couch. To say Owen is being bullied at school is an understatement. He is being tormented by a trio of cruel bullies and the adults seem blissfully ignorant of it all.

Enter a strange young girl named Abby, played by Hit-Girl herself, Chloe Moretz. She moves into the apartment next door to Owen in the middle of the night with her "father" (Richard Jenkins). There's something odd about this little girl and not just because she walks around barefoot in the dead of winter. Owen comes to learn she is a vampire. The "father" acts as her Renfield stalking his prey and draining them of blood. Despite his initial fears, Owen grows closer to Abby as she encourages him to fight back against his antagonists.

Let Me In manages to be a surprisingly effective thriller by using the original film as its blueprint. Many of the best scenes are lifted directly out of Tomas Alfredson's version, including the climatic sequence at the gymnasium pool. Some scenes are ramped up for an American audience accustomed to blood or existential quandaries. One of the big changes in the remake is a harrowing auto accident as Abby's guardian attempts to take his latest victim. It is one of the few times in which Matt Reeves asserts his own identity as takes the camera along for the ride in the backseat. While Alfredson favored long shots to accentuate the loneliness of his lead characters, Reeves goes for close-ups to capture their alienation directly. He also excises the subplots involving Owen's neighbors thus turning them into faceless fodder for Abby's hunger.

Let Me In also lacks any of the subtleties of the original film. Abby doesn't simply feed on her victims, but practically mauls them. She climbs onto their bodies like a spider. Reeves heavily relies on unnecessary CGI for the attacks, which is blatantly obvious even though they are mostly hidden in the shadows. Reeves also hammers in the themes of good and evil. An unnamed detective (Elias Koteas) believes the murders to be the work of Satanists, the religious nature of Owen's mother causes the rift in her marriage, and everything is set under the specter of Ronald Reagan. Reeves further familiarizes the movie's setting by referencing 80's pop culture throughout. Owen's love of Culture Club and Now & Later candy belies the darkness that surrounds him, just as the cheesier aspects of the 80's served as a stark contrast to its Cold War politics. Reeves serves up a cute juxtaposition to Abby's vampirism when Owen introduces her to the gameplay of Pac-Man.

The film's young leads are both excellent and each brings a heavy soulfulness that isn't commonly found among actors of their age. The other main roles are filled by veteran character actors Richard Jenkins and Elias Koteas, the latter of whom is less creepy than usual.

Let Me In will surely serve as an enthralling thriller for those who have yet to see Let the Right One In, a truly unique twist on the vampire genre. However, the burden of knowledge will rear its head for anyone familiar with the original. The remake can't escape its feeling of 'been there, done that.'

Rating: **