2 Guns

2 Guns – Dir. Baltasar Kormákur (2013)

2013 was another huge year for comic book movies with Iron Man 3 and Man of Steel doing blockbuster numbers and Thor: The Dark World closing out the year. Meanwhile, films based on non-superhero properties like R.I.P.D. and Red 2 didn't get quite as much attention. This brings us to 2 Guns, based on a little known mini-series published by BOOM! Studios. Most folks would probably be surprised to hear that it was adapted from a comic though it does feature the titanic team-up of Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg.

Bobby Trench (Washington) and Michael Stigman (Wahlberg) are a pair of crooks who decide to steal $3 million from safety deposit boxes belonging to drug lord Papi Greco (Edward James Olmos). These boxes are tucked away inside a bank vault in the tiny town of Tres Cruces. If that sounds familiar, then you’ve seen the 70's neo-noir classic Charley Varrick, which screenwriter Blake Masters borrows heavily from. In a series of twists and turns, Trench is revealed to be an undercover DEA agent while Stigman is actually working for Naval Intelligence. Neither man was aware of the other's true identity. Even worse, the bank didn't hold $3 million, but over $43 million belonging to an illegal CIA slush fund. Stigman narrowly escapes an attempt on his life by his corrupt commanding officer Quince (James Marsden), who wants the cash for himself. He'll have to get in line because Papi wants it too and so does the sadistic CIA agent Earl (Bill Paxton).

2 Guns feels like it could have come straight out of the hyperkinetic wheelhouse of the late-Tony Scott. This is a fast-paced, brainless affair that builds to a cluttered climax as four different factions (five, if you count a herd of stampeding bulls) shoot it out for a trunk load of dollars. However, Icelandic director Baltasar Kormákur, who previously worked with Wahlberg on Contraband, doesn't have Scott's visual panache. Still, the action sequences are decent enough, save for a rough looking car chase.

What really sells 2 Guns is the chemistry between its leads. The interplay shared by Wahlberg and Washington harkens back to the buddy cop formula set by Lethal Weapon. Both protagonists give as good as they get as their one-liners fly faster and more frequently than their bullets. The burden of carrying the movie doesn't fall squarely on their shoulders thanks to a game supporting cast. Perennial nice guy James Marsden is cast against type as a back-stabbing naval officer while Edward James Olmos is perfectly grizzled as a cartel boss. Yet, they all pale in comparison to the scene chewing performance of Bill Paxton, who affects a thick Southern accent to portray the main antagonist. 2 Guns is so overstuffed with testosterone that there's no room for a strong female character. That's a shame because Paula Patton played a pretty kick-ass secret agent in Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol. Instead, she's a damsel in distress who spends most of her time either tied up to a chair or gratuitously slinking around with nothing on except wafer-thin panties. Yeah, okay, that's not necessarily a bad thing.

2 Guns is such a breezy trifle that you almost forget just how surprisingly cynical it is. Just about every branch of the American government is portrayed as corrupt, incompetent, or simply uncaring. Stigman cracks a joke about purchasing his high-powered sniper rifle at K-Mart (are they still around?) and the US/Mexico border is patrolled by good ol' boys looking to dispense redneck justice to anybody with dark skin.

2 Guns may be formulaic and predictable, but the winning charm of Washington and Wahlberg make it a passable bit of popcorn entertainment.

Rating: ** (*****)

Escape Plan

Escape Plan - Dir. Mikael Hafstrom (2013)

"You hit like a vegetarian."

Stallone. Schwarzenegger. Two of the biggest action heroes in movie history with a combined body count well into the triple digits. Fans have always wanted to see them fight side by side, except the right project never came about. Sure, there's The Expendables, but Arnold's appearances were brief and they had to share the screen with a bunch of other red blooded action stars. Escape Plan is the first proper team-up for Stallone and Schwarzenegger though sometimes it feels like a film 20 years too late.

Stallone is Ray Breslin, a specialist who has spent decades breaking out of maximum security prisons to test their fallibilities. Breslin and his shifty partner (Vincent D'Onofrio) accept a $5 million payday from a CIA agent to test the security for a black bag prison housing criminals no country wants to house. The location is top secret so Breslin won't be able to receive outside help from his associates (Amy Ryan & Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson), who are uneasy about the whole deal. He should have listened because somebody paid a lot of money to keep him locked away for good.

Breslin is dropped into the Tomb and left at the mercy of the ruthless Warden Hobbs (Jim Caviezel), who has used Breslin's own work to shore up the Tomb's defense. Breslin finds an unlikely ally in fellow prisoner Emil Rottmayer (Schwarzenegger), the right-hand man for a mysterious boss named Mannheim, who holds the key to dismantling the European banking industry.

Escape Plan has the undeniable scent of an 80's actioner right out of the Cannon playbook. It has no desire to be anything more than unsophisticated B-movie fun. The story itself is riddled with plot holes. Never mind that Breslin's MacGyver-esque methods of escaping from prison are so convoluted that nobody else could ever possibly think of them, let alone threaten prison security. These issues will hardly cross your mind until after the film has ended because of the sheer screen presence of Stallone and Schwarzenegger. They may be decades past their prime and the banter doesn't have the same zing as it used to, but it's still a joy to see them sharing scenes. The audience cheered wildly when the former Terminator armed himself with a heavy machine gun. Jim Caviezel is suitably cartoonish as a warden so vicious, he hires Vinnie Jones as his head guard. He starts by doing the low-key, minimalist performance as seen on Person of Interest and then turns the dial up past 11 when he has to. Sam Neill and Amy Ryan are absolutely wasted in the throwaway roles of the weary prison doctor and Breslin's right-hand woman, respectively. Finally, the less said about Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson woefully miscast as a computer expert, the better.

Escape Plan pales in comparison to action classics like Predator, First Blood, and The Terminator, but it's certainly worth a viewing should it pop up on Netflix.

Rating: ** (*****)

Parkland

Parkland - Dir. Peter Landesman (2013)

The assassination of John F. Kennedy has spawned an entire subculture dedicated to examining every detail of the tragic event. Was it the work of a lone gunman or was it a vast conspiracy involving Lyndon B. Johnson, the CIA, the military-industrial complex, the Russians, and organized crime figures? Countless books and films have sprung up over the years speculating on just that with Oliver Stone's "JFK" being one of the more notable.

Millennium Entertainment's Parkland isn't interested in conspiracy theories or facets that have been picked apart ad nauseum. This is an ensemble piece that wishes to tell the story of the little people whose lives were forever affected by JFK's assassination, just as the entire country was. Released to coincide with the 50^th anniversary of Kennedy's death, Parkland was written and directed by first-timer Peter Landesman, a former journalist who based the screenplay on the book, Reclaiming History: The Assassination of President John F. Kennedy by Vincent Bugliosi, a district attorney best known for prosecuting Charles Manson.

Clothing manufacturer Abraham Zapruder (Paul Giamatti) excitedly arrives at Dealy Plaza with his 8mm Bell & Howell camera in the hopes of capturing the President's motorcade as it passed by. Instead, Zapruder unwittingly filmed the most infamous home movie ever made, clear footage of JFK's shooting. Dr. Charles Carrico (Zac Efron), a young resident at Parkland Memorial Hospital, is the first physician to treat Kennedy when he is rushed into the emergency room. As medical personnel scramble in a blood soaked ER, a dazed Jackie Kennedy (Kat Steffens) hands a veteran nurse (Marcia Gay Harden) fragments of her husband's skull. Robert Oswald (James Badge Dale) is left in shock when he learns his younger brother (Jeremy Strong) is responsible for killing the president. Gordon Shanklin (David Harbour), head of the FBI's Dallas field office, berates James Hosty (Ron Livingston), upon learning that they had been investigating Lee Harvey Oswald, including receiving a threatening letter from Oswald. Roy Kellerman (Tom Welling from "Smallville") and other agents assigned to the President's detail are burdened by the belief they have failed in their duty.

While major players like LBJ and Jackie Kennedy are present in Parkland, the focus is clearly on the individuals who would otherwise be considered historical footnotes. Zapruder is haunted by the images he has seen and has his faith in the American dream shaken. Robert Oswald faces an uncertain future knowing his family will become pariahs for what his brother has done.  Landesman also broaches topics that one normally wouldn't think of. Members of Kennedy's staff remove seats from the cabin of Air Force One in order to accommodate his casket. Zapruder and Forrest Sorrels (Billy Bob Thornton), a Secret Service agent assigned to Kennedy's detachment, struggle to find a photo lab to develop the 8mm film, a relatively new process in the 60's. No church or cemetery is willing to accept Lee Harvey Oswald's remains. During the funeral, Robert must rely on paparazzi to serve as pallbearers.

Tom Hanks served as one of the producers for Parkland and it's disappointing he didn't take a Band of Brothers approach to the subject matter. Zapruder and Robert Oswald are interesting enough to support their own films. A medical drama revolving around the Parkland staff as they treat Kennedy and Oswald would also be extremely compelling. At less than 90 minutes, Parkland barely scratches the surface and squanders an amazing cast. Despite turning in strong performances, Marcia Gay Harden, Mark Duplass (as Kennedy aide Ken O'Donnell), and Jackie Earle Haley (as the priest who delivers last rites) appear in glorified cameos. James Badge Dale, who has quickly become one of Hollywood's most reliable character actors, brings a sense of pathos to his role that is almost undermined by Jacki Weaver's over-the-top performance as overbearing mother, Marguerite, steadfast in her belief that her younger son was a secret agent for the U.S. government.

Landesman employs a documentary style akin to Paul Greengrass, minus the headache inducing shaky cam. Not surprising that Barry Ackroyd, who also shot United 93, Green Zone, and Captain Phillips, served as cinematographer. The result allows the audience to feel like a fly on the wall while maintaining tension throughout the short runtime.

Parkland finds a fresh perspective on a significant moment in history, but still feels like a missed opportunity. The movie is blessed with a wealth of talented actors and intriguing characters, yet never gives them enough time to shine. Still, it earns a mild recommendation solely on star power.

Rating: **½ (*****)

Machete Kills

Machete Kills - Dir. Robert Rodriguez (2013)

Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino paid homage to the exploitation movies of their youth with the 2007 double feature Grindhouse. They had big plans to turn it into a franchise until the film died at the box office. Still, there was enough interest to spinoff Machete, a machete wielding badass who made his first appearance in one of Grindhouse's faux-trailers.

Described as ”FBI, CIA, and DEA all rolled into one mean burrito," Machete starred in a self-titled feature film bolstered by over-the-top action and an eclectic cast that included Robert DeNiro and Lindsay Lohan. Of course, Machete couldn't have worked without its star, Trejo, the craggily faced and tattooed character actor in his biggest role to date. Trejo returns in the sequel, Machete Kills, which remains faithful to its B-movie roots while upping the ante by adding a sci-fi spin. There's a lead villain cut from the same mold as Hugo Drax from Moonraker and plenty of Star Wars references.

A mission to foil an arms deal ends disastrously for Machete and ICE agent Sartana (Jessica Alba). Our hero is about to be hanged by a redneck sheriff (William Sadler) when he's pardoned by President Rathcock (Charlie Sheen, billed under his real name of Carlos Estevez). POTUS sends Machete into Mexico to track down a nuclear weapon that has fallen into the hands of a former cartel leader known as Mendez the Madman (Demián Bichir), so called because of his multiple personalities. However, the real mastermind is revealed to be billionaire industrialist Luther Voz (Mel Gibson), who has concocted a plan to engulf the entire world in nuclear war.

Also returning for the sequel are Michelle Rodriguez as the one-eyed revolutionary She and Tom Savini as hitman Osiris Amanpour. Joining them are Amber Heard as beauty queen/secret agent Miss San Antonio and Sofia Vergara as Desdemona, leader of a gang of deadly prostitutes. While the cast is as star-studded as its predecessor, most of the actors (Vanessa Hudgens, for example) appear in glorified cameos. One character, a master of disguise named The Chameleon, is simply there to justify a string of gonzo, guest appearances by Walt Goggins, Lady Gaga, and Cuba Gooding Jr. Only a few get to make any real impression, such as Sheen who has fun playing into his tabloid persona as a boozehound and horndog. Bichir and Gibson (in his first turn as a bad guy) give the best performances as both actors straddle the line between cartoonish villainy and honest-to-goodness gravitas. Bichir, in particular, brings some surprisingly soulful moments to Machete Kills.

Rodriguez's flair for action isn't fully on display here. Machete Kills manages a couple of decent set pieces, usually involving Machete versus Chilean martial arts star Marko Zaror. Unfortunately, much of the film is repetitive with Rodriguez relying one too many times on his hero killing henchmen by throwing them into helicopter blades. Sofia Vergara, who plays it to the hilt, packs a high caliber brassier as well as the crotch gun from Desperado and From Dusk Till Dawn. Even a catfight between Amber Heard and Michelle Rodriguez comes off dull.

Machete Kills opens with another faux-trailer for a third picture, Machete Kills Again…in Space, that offers more thrills than the actual movie that followed. Maybe it's time to say, "Adios," to this franchise.

Rating: ** (*****)

The Purge

The Purge - Dir. James DeMonaco (2013)

"Blessed be the New Founding Fathers for letting us Purge and cleanse our souls, Blessed be America, a nation reborn."

2013 was quite the year for Ethan Hawke. In August, he starred in Getaway, which received some of the worst reviews of the year. Earlier in the year, Hawke also starred in Before Midnight, the third picture in Richard Linklater's critically praised trilogy. While Getaway garnered a paltry 3% on Rotten Tomatoes, Before Midnight landed an impressive 98% and will surely find its way on numerous best-of year end lists. Not to be forgotten is The Purge, a low-budget thriller that came out around the same time as Before Midnight. Although the reviews were lukewarm, The Purge did take in over $87 million at the box office. Quite the haul considering the release date was sandwiched in between Fast and Furious 6 and Man of Steel with Iron Man 3 and Star Trek into Darkness still going strong.

The Purge takes place in the year 2022 as America sees crime rates and unemployment at an all-time low. This is attributed to an annual event known as 'The Purge,' a 12-hour period in which all crime, including murder, is legal. Well, almost all crime. Weapons of mass destruction are off limits and high-ranking government officials are not to be touched. Other than that, anything goes.

Thanks to the Purge, James Sandin (Hawke) has done extremely well for himself by selling high-tech security systems. He's sold quite a few to fellow residents in his affluent suburban neighborhood, enough to build a new addition to his spacious McMansion. As the Purge commences, Sandin puts his home on lockdown and settles in for a quiet night with the wife, Mary (Lena Headey), and kids, Charlie (Max Burkholder) and Zoey (Adelaide Kane). However, Charlie notices a wounded man (Edwin Hodge) outside the house crying for help. Against his father's protests, Charlie lets the stranger in and sets off a deadly chain of events. A gang of masked assailants come knocking to demand the Sandins hand over the "homeless pig" or they will tear down the gates and kill everyone in the house.

The Purge was written and directed by James DeMonaco, who was previously a screenwriter on The Negotiator and the remake of Assault on Precinct 13 that also starred Hawke. As a siege and home invasion picture, The Purge has a lot in common with the original Assault as well as The Strangers with Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman. It has all the hallmarks of a B-movie, but DeMonaco seeks to elevate the material with some heavy-handed political rhetoric. The country is under the sway of a group called the New Founding Fathers, an obvious analogue for the Tea Party, and participating in the Purge is seen as a patriotic duty. Of course, the easiest targets are the poor and disenfranchised, such as the stranger, who happens to be black and a veteran. The villains are young, white, and led by a handsome gentleman (Rhys Wakefield) with blue blooded affectations and a prep school uniform.

Wakefield gives a creepy performance and his gaunt frame makes him look like the perfect candidate to play a Batman villain. Hawke and Headey are also good, but the acting and the concept aren't enough to shake off the silliness.

The Purge requires a little suspension of disbelief. Just because people are allowed to cut loose for one day a year, doesn't necessarily mean they'll be law-abiding citizens are the other 364 days. Also, the characters behave in foolish ways that seem to be dictated by whatever is required to progress the story. Characters decide to split up like a bunch of teenagers in a slasher flick. The second act consists of the Sandins searching their home and arguing over what to do with the stranger. At least, the climax is action packed as a free-for-all erupts between the wholesome nuclear family and the bloodthirsty invaders.

The Purge won't be mistaken for serious cinema though it does work as a solid genre piece. The story is simplistic and, at less than 90 minutes, the film moves at a brisk pace.

Rating: ** (*****)

The Place Beyond the Pines

The Place Beyond the Pines - Dir. Derek Cianfrance (2013)

"If you ride like lightning, you're gonna crash like thunder."

Derek Cianfrance debuted as a filmmaker with 1998's Brother Tied, but didn't gain widespread notice until his second feature, "Blue Valentine," an intimate and heartbreaking story of a dissolving marriage. Cianfrance's latest movie, The Place Beyond the Pines, is a much more ambitious effort that re-teams the writer/director with Blue Valentine star Ryan Gosling.

Place Beyond the Pines is a generational drama told in three parts about the sins of the father passing on to their sons. The tale begins with an uninterrupted tracking shot of Luke Glanton (Ryan Gosling), the main attraction at a traveling carnival. Luke and his partners, the Heartthrobs, ride their motorcycles around and around within the confines of a caged sphere, an apt allusion for Luke's vagabond life. That is, until he runs into old flame, Romina (Eva Mendes), and discovers they had a son together. Luke decides to stick around. In his own words, "I wasn't around my dad...look at the way I turned out." However, his job prospects are slim and the only work he can get is fixing cars at a low-rent body shop run by Robin (Ben Mendelsohn, once again cast as a sweaty lowlife). Looking to score some fast cash, Luke and Robin cobble a plan to rob banks with the former hitting hard and fast before escaping on his bike. There, Robin will be waiting with a box truck to scoop up Luke and make their escape.

The second act changes gears as we follow Avery Cross (Bradley Cooper), a squeaky clean beat cop who crosses paths with Luke, now dubbed the 'Moto-Bandit.' Avery's newfound notoriety catches the eye of veteran detective Peter Deluca (Ray Liotta). Soon, Avery finds himself in a dirty world where he's forced to take payoffs and steal evidence from police lockup. The story leaps forward fifteen years in the third act to focus on Jason (Dane DeHaan) and AJ (Emory Cohen), the respective sons of Luke and Avery. Jason has a lot of questions about the father he never knew while AJ feels ignored by his dad, who is in the running for New York's Attorney General. The two become friends not knowing the improbable connection they share.

Cianfrance announces his bold vision for Place Beyond the Pines right from the beginning with that memorable tracking shot courtesy of DP Sean Bobbitt, who also shot similar sequences for Steve McQueen on Hunger and Shame. Gosling commands attention with every scene he's in, despite the fact that he plays a slight variation of the taciturn loner seen in Drive. Gosling's smoldering charisma is so undeniable that the film suffers when he disappears. This is no slight on Bradley Cooper, but his character isn't nearly as interesting and his travails are fairly formulaic. The movie does improve in the third act with the arrival of Dane DeHaan, who bares more than a resemblance to a young Leonardo DiCaprio. DeHaan has quickly established himself as one of Hollywood's top newcomers due to his work on Lawless and Chronicle. His performance here is strong and carries the final section of Pines while Cohen overplays his hand with a thick Long Island accent. Eva Mendes is also terrific as the glammed down Romina. Well, at least as glammed down as Eva Mendes can get.

The Place Beyond the Pines is an uneven effort by Derek Cianfrance, but the writer/director has nothing to be ashamed about. There's a melancholy lyricism to the movie, which is handsomely shot and littered with emotional performances and naturalistic dialogue.

Rating: ** ½ (*****)

Kick-Ass 2

Kick-Ass 2 - Dir. Jeff Wadlow (2013)

Scotsman Mark Millar is one of the top writers currently in the comic book industry. He's able to find a unique slant to traditional superhero tropes. Millar's magnum opus, Superman: Red Son, is a brilliant look at what would have happened if baby Kal-El had landed in Stalin Russian instead of Smallville, Kansas. Millar's talent as an author is frequently lost by his proclivities for being a provocateur. His works, such as Wanted and Nemesis, are known to frequently use profanity and violence for shock value. Millar has also come under fire for his cavalier attitude towards the depiction of rape. This leads us to Kick-Ass, which initially debuted as an 8-issue mini-series in 2008 and gained notice for Hit-Girl, a 10-year old vigilante described as a cross between Rambo and Polly Pocket. Hit-Girl casually cursed like a sailor and eviscerated bad guys with a variety of deadly weapons. When it came time to turn the comic into a live-action movie, director Matthew Vaughn raised the $30 million budget himself when studios balked at the violence and the young age of the character that caused most of it. The first Kick-Ass film didn't do blockbuster numbers, but it did enough off a modest budget to warrant sequels.

Kick-Ass 2 is based on the second mini-series and the Hit-Girl spin-off that bridges the gap between the two stories. Some time has passed since the events of the previous picture in which geeky Dave Lizewski (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) donned a green wetsuit to moonlight as the superhero Kick-Ass. He mostly got the crap beaten out of him while pint-size dynamo, Mindy Macready aka Hit-Girl (Chloe Grace Moretz), did all the real damage. Dave has hung up the tights, but dons them once more to escape his dreary existence as a high school senior. His past exploits as Kick-Ass have inspired dozens of other New Yorkers to put on their costumes, including Dave's best friend Marty (Clark Duke), now known as Battle Guy. Together, they join Justice Forever, a superhero team founded by Col. Stars & Stripes (Jim Carrey), a grizzled ex-mob enforcer who went legit after finding Jesus.

Now that he's playing in the big leagues, Dave receives further training from Mindy, but the sparring sessions end when her guardian and late-father's former partner, Marcus (Morris Chestnut), catches her in costume during a Ferris Bueller race to the house. Forbidden from being Hit-Girl, Mindy must acclimate to civilian life and dealing with one of her most fearsome foes ever, mean high school girls. Meanwhile, Dave's archenemy, Chris D'Amico (Christopher Mintz-Plasse), vows revenge and transforms himself into the Motherfucker, the world's first supervillain. He gathers his own team of thugs and killers led by a buff KGB assassin dubbed Mother Russia (Olga Kurkulina).

There were mixed message with Kick-Ass. It wanted to deconstruct the superhero genre and show real world consequences to costumed crime fighting. Then, it ended with the title character flying around on a jetpack and blowing a man up with a bazooka. Still, it was a fun action movie that hung on a bravura performance from young Chloe Moretz. Kick-Ass 2 is just a mess.

Matthew Vaughn had a flair for action, but he only serves as producer for the sequel. The reins are handed over to writer/director Jeff Wadlow, whose uninspiring resume includes Cry_Wolf and Never Back Down. Somehow, he's also managed to land X-Force as his next picture. Wadlow has no knack for action, employing the same choppy approach that too many American filmmakers adopt. A sequence where Mindy clings to a van full of mobsters is the movie's most poorly constructed set piece. Close-ups of Moretz in front of a green screen are embarrassingly obvious.

Kick-Ass himself has regressed as a character. He's less competent and less interesting in Kick-Ass 2 with his primary motivation being boredom. No, the true star of the sequel is Hit-Girl. Moretz manages to convey all the heartbreak that comes with bullying and adolescent awkwardness. However, Wadlow has embraced Millar's preoccupation with juvenile humor. Any emotional payoff from that storyline is tossed out in favor of a sight gag involving projectile vomiting and diarrhea. In fact, any time Kick-Ass 2 tries to inject some semblance of gravitas; it's undercut by jokes done in poor taste. Two deaths are expected to be taken seriously, yet the movie has such a casual attitude toward death that we feel nothing, except maybe nausea. Mother Russia brutally kills several police officers to a rock version of the Tetris theme and an attempted rape scene is played for laughs. This is tame stuff compared to the source material, which featured a gang rape, children being gunned down, and a decapitated dog.

It's also a shame that Kick-Ass 2 doesn't fully utilize its fantastic supporting cast. An unrecognizable Jim Carrey gives his liveliest performance in years in the small role of the Colonel. Carrey really disappears into the part thanks to some prosthetics and thick New York accent. Taking on these character roles can really revitalize his career. Too bad they aren't in better movies. John Leguizamo and an exuberant Donald Faison are wasted along with Iain Glen from Game of Thrones in a throwaway cameo.

Kick-Ass 2 is an out and out disappointment rife with abrupt tonal shifts and sloppy storytelling.

Rating: * ½ (*****)

The Lone Ranger

The Lone Ranger - Dir. Gore Verbinski (2013)

Nobody expected Pirates of the Caribbean to be a hit. It was a movie based on a ride at Disneyland. The star, Johnny Depp, was a respected actor, but not a box office draw. Plus, the last pirate movie to hit screens was the abysmal Cutthroat Island, a notorious flop that hastened the demise of Carolco, the production company responsible for Terminator 2 and Basic Instinct. Pirates was not only a triumph, it spawned one of the biggest money making franchises in movie history. Each of the three sequels is ranked in the top 20 of highest worldwide grosses, plus Depp received an Oscar nomination for his memorable portrayal of Capt. Jack Sparrow.

While Hollywood has produced several quality Westerns over the last several years (3:10 to Yuma, Django Unchained), it wasn't a genre considered to be a huge attraction. Disney was looking to change that perception with The Lone Ranger. They put the Pirates band back together including Depp, producer Jerry Bruckheimer, director Gore Verbinski, composer Hans Zimmer, and screenwriters Ted Elliot & Terry Rossio (with a rewrite by Justin Haythe).

The Lone Ranger and his faithful sidekick, Tonto, debuted on a 1933 radio drama, but his most popular incarnation is the ABC television series that aired from 1949 to 1957 with Clayton Moore and Jay Silverheels in the lead roles. The least popular version would have to be The Legend of the Lone Ranger, a live-action film released in 1981 to capitalize on the success of the Superman movies. Legend was a critical and commercial failure and immediately sank the career of its star, Klinton Spilsbury, who never acted again. Spilsbury was no Christopher Reeve. He upset many crewmembers with his egotistical behavior, his drinking, and a mediocre performance that led producers to dub over his voice. Disney's Lone Ranger was also plagued with production woes. Filming was delayed due to the studio wanting to trim the bloated budget of $225 million. They cut it down to a mere $200 million. Not that it mattered because the picture wound up spending the difference and then some. Remember when Westerns didn't cost the GNP of a small country because all you needed was a horse, a desert, and a guy with a gun?

John Reid (Armie Hammer) returns to his dusty hometown of Colby, Texas after studying law back east. His brother, Dan (James Badge Dale), is a member of the Texas Rangers and Colby's primary lawman and is married to John's former girlfriend, Rebecca (Ruth Wilson). Progress is about to transform Colby into a vital hub thanks to the construction of the Transcontinental Railroad overseen by tycoon Latham Cole (Tom Wilkinson). The Reids and a team of Rangers set out into the desert to capture a recently escaped outlaw named Butch Cavendish (William Fichtner). An ambush by Cavendish and his gang leaves everyone dead, except for John who is rescued by Tonto (Depp), a Comanche on his own mission of vengeance.

Anything unique Verbinski and Depp had to say about the Western, they told it all in the delightfully quirky Rango. The Lone Ranger is painfully formulaic in spite of Verbinski quoting from the works of John Ford and Sergio Leone. He even throws in a visual reference to The Flight of the Red Balloon. The beautiful shots of Monument Valley aren't nearly enough to distract from a bloated runtime of nearly two and a half hours. Borrowing from Little Big Man, Verbinski employs a framing device in which an elderly Tonto, posing as a mannequin in a traveling sideshow, recounts his tale to a young boy. These sequences are one of many that attempt to deal with America's bloody history and the indignant treatment of Native Americans, along with Chinese rail workers. However, the movie never digs deeper into those topics because it is a Disney movie. Thus, we get a brutal scene where a Comanche tribe is massacred by machine gun fire that is completely undercut by Laurel & Hardy-style slapstick involving the Ranger and Tonto on a seesaw cart. There's no payoff to the sideshow scenes either. Too bad Sony has the rights to the Green Hornet, otherwise the kid could have been revealed to be Britt Reid, the Hornet's alter-ego and Dan's grand-nephew.

The tonal inconsistencies are a major problem beyond the failed blend of violence and humor. Throughout the picture, the Ranger is a source of derision in spite of the studio's desire to make him into a modern, bad-ass character. There's a constant mocking of the Ranger iconography with people asking, "What's with the mask," as a bad running joke. When the Ranger shouts his catchphrase, "Hi-yo, Silver! Away!," Tonto emphatically tells him to never do it again.

The Lone Ranger falls into the same trap of many origin stories in that the protagonist doesn't become the hero we know until the end. The final act is the best part of the movie with a pair of runaway trains on parallel tracks. It's the same type of outlandish set piece that the Pirates series did so well. The film is almost invigorated when the Ranger's theme, the William Tell Overture, finally kicks in and the masked man rides to the rescue of Rebecca, who is in full Perils of Pauline mode.

Although the movie is entitled, The Lone Ranger, Johnny Depp's Tonto is the obvious star. Depp tries to recapture the magic of Jack Sparrow with another idiosyncratic performance, but there isn't anything particularly memorable about his Tonto. The same goes for Armie Hammer, who was great in The Social Network, but is given nothing but the blandest material to work with. As brothel owner, Red Harrington, Helena Bonham Carter seems to have wandered off a Tim Burton set and is more than welcome though she could have been easily cut.

The Lone Ranger is an indulgent mess that failed to achieve a fraction of the success of the first Pirates movie. In the end, it will go down as another costly failure for Disney alongside Mars Needs Moms and John Carter.

Rating: * ½ (*****)

White House Down

White House Down - Dir. Roland Emmerich (2013)

Roland Emmerich sure gets a kick out of destroying Washington DC. He famously blew up the White House in Independence Day then wiped out the entire city with a massive tsunami in 2012. Emmerich isn't done with the nation's capital yet as he presents White House Down, the year's second film depicting the President's home under siege by terrorists.

Instead of Gerard Butler, we get Channing Tatum as John Cale, DC police officer and former Iraq War vet working security detail for the Speaker of the House (Richard Jenkins). He's a perennial underachiever and an absentee father. Cashing in a favor from his boss, Cale gets an interview to join the Secret Service and takes along his daughter, Emily (Joey King), hoping the young political junkie will be impressed by a VIP tour of the White House. Cale flops during the interview with Agent Carol Finnerty (Maggie Gyllenhaal), but gets a chance to prove himself when a team of mercenaries and white supremacists infiltrate the White House and capture President James Sawyer (Jamie Foxx). The baddies are led by Emil Stenz (Jason Clarke), an ex-Special Forces operative, with assistance from turncoat Martin Walker (James Woods).

While Olympus Has Fallen cribs far more from Die Hard, White House Down borrows only a few elements. Its protagonist not only has a similar name to John McClane, he spends most of the movie running around in a dirty tank top. One of the villains (Jimmi Simpson) listens to "Ode to Joy" as he hacks into NORAD. White House Down isn't as self-serious as Olympus either as Emmerich recognizes the inherent silliness of it all. This is a movie where even the nerdy tour guide gets a kill a bad guy and everything comes down to a nuclear weapon and an edge-of-your-seat countdown. Yes, White House Down goes down some incredibly stupid roads, such as a car chase on the south lawn or when the presidential limo just happens to have a rocket launcher hidden in the back seat. Also, what genius decided to mount a covert assault by sending attack choppers through the DC streets in plain sight of any traffic camera or cell phone? Screenwriter James Vanderbilt (Zodiac, The Amazing Spider-Man) practically draws a bright, bold arrow each time a plot element is introduced for a later payoff. Do you think President Sawyer's pocket watch from Abraham Lincoln will be important later on?

Tatum is a welcome antidote to the grim-faced Butler. He ably carries the film on his broad shoulders by playing the lovable lunkhead we've come to know in 21 Jump Street and Magic Mike. He's helped by the fun chemistry he shares with Jamie Foxx as the idealized Obama, who ushers in world peace, dismantles the military-industrial complex, and looks good in a pair of stylish Air Jordans. Jason Clarke doesn't get much to do as the ruthless Stenz though you can easily picture this being the eventual path of his character from Zero Dark Thirty. James Woods is at his slimy best though Emmerich wastes a stacked supporting cast that includes Maggie Gyllenhaal, Richard Jenkins, Lance Reddick, and Michael Murphy.

Drowning in effects-laden action and ham-fisted jingoism, White House Down is an unmistakable product of Emmerich's brand of summer shlock.

Rating: ** (*****)

Pacific Rim

Pacific Rim - Dir. Guillermo Del Toro (2013)

"Today, we face the monsters that are at our door. Today, we are cancelling the apocalypse!"

Robots vs. monsters, is there anything else you need to know? For those of you who grew up watching Voltron and Robotech, Pacific Rim is the movie you imagined in a fever dream while playing with your action figures.

In the near future, a dimensional rift has opened up at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean allowing enormous creatures known as 'kaiju' to invade our world. To fight these monsters, humanity banded together and built massive robotic suits they called 'jaegers.' The jaegers are so enormous that they must be piloted by two individuals connected to a neural bridge referred to as 'the drift.' Jaeger pilots are treated like rock stars and two of the best are Yancy (Diego Klattenhoff) and Raleigh Beckett (Charlie Hunnam). A disastrous battle between their Jaeger, Gipsy Danger, and a kaiju near the Arctic Circle costs Yancy his life and leaves Raleigh a broken man.

Five years later, the United Nations attempts to shut down the jaeger program in favor of building giant walls around their coastal cities. When that plan fails miserably, jaeger commander Stacker Pentecost (Idris Elba) recruits a reluctant Raleigh back into the suit and pairs him up with Mako Mori (Rinko Kikuchi), who lost her parents as a young girl to a kaiju rampage.

It's clear from the get-go that director Guillermo Del Toro has been dying to cut loose after spending years on projects (The Hobbit, At the Mountains of Madness) that never came to fruition. With Pacific Rim, Del Toro merges his unique vision with his love of anime (Neon Genesis Evangelion is an obvious influence) and Toho monster flicks to create one of the best summer blockbusters in recent years. His direction isn't without flaws. The visuals are muddled by setting most of the action at night and underwater. The climax is particularly troubling because the final kaijus look extremely similar and they aren't any more menacing than the ones seen before. However, when Del Toro turns it on, he goes for broke. The best sequence in Pacific Rim is the near-20 minute battle set against the neon glow of a Blade Runner-esque Hong Kong. Another triumph for Del Toro is the enthralling and heartbreaking flashback in which a terrified Mako is left alone in a decimated Tokyo as a kaiju roars overhead. Pacific Rim shines in IMAX 3D. No, the 3D doesn't improve anything, but the screen size and enhanced surround sound are perfect for the metallic mayhem.

The screenplay by Del Toro and Travis Beacham never drops itself to the willfully lowbrow levels of Michael Bay's Transformers franchise. Pacific Rim might paint its characters in the broadest strokes possible, but there's nary a homophobic or misogynistic bone in its body. What Del Toro and Beacham have done best is the world building that only hints at the rich history behind it. Take for example the character of Hannibal Chau (played eccentrically by Ron Perlman), a black market dealer in kaiju organs. Apparently, bone powder from an extra-dimensional beast is a cure for erectile dysfunction. Chau's headquarters in Hong Kong appear to have been built around a fallen kaiju's skeleton.

Charlie Hunnam doesn't exactly light up the screen in the lead role, but he does a fair job and gets assistance from a game supporting cast. He has some good scenes with Rinko Kikuchi while Del Toro and Beacham never allow the two to fall into the clichéd romance. Idris Elba plays the hardass drill sergeant we've seen countless times before, but he does it pretty damn well. His St. Crispin's speech will undoubtedly be heavily quoted. Stealing the show are Charlie Day and Burn Gorman as a pair of diametrically opposed kaiju scientists. Day is brash and high-strung while Gorman looks and acts like a latter-day Jeffrey Combs.

Pacific Rim is Saturday morning cartoon brought to life. A pure fanboy fantasy that blasts the rest of the summer slate right in the face with a robot rocket punch.

Rating: *** (*****)