Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps - Dir. Oliver Stone (2010)

"Greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works."

Michael Douglas famously uttered those words in Oliver Stone's 1987 picture, Wall Street. The film served as an indictment of the excess that came to mark the era of Reagan and New Coke. Douglas earned an Oscar for his portrayal of corporate raider, Gordon Gekko, who became the epitome of yuppy capitalist culture gone wrong. The Faustian tale saw Gekko as the devil on the shoulder of young Bud Fox (Charlie Sheen) as he's seduced by the dark side. Released two months after the stock market crash of '87, Wall Street was eerily prophetic and, over twenty years later, remains so. Unfortunately, they either didn't listen or got the message wrong.

"Greed is good," was meant to be a warning. Instead, it became a rallying call. Aspiring stock brokers cited Gordon Gekko as their inspiration. In Boiler Room, a group of hotshot traders recite whole lines of dialogue from Wall Street as if they were holy scripture. Now, the economy is in the worst shape it's been since the Great Depression. What better time for the return of Gordon Gekko?

The long-gestating sequel, Money Never Sleeps, opens in 2001 as Gekko is released from prison after an eight year sentence for securities fraud. The scene in which Gekko is given his paraphernalia is played as both comical and poetically fitting. He's handed a "gold money clip with no money in it" and a ridiculously oversized mobile phone. The penthouse predator who once spouted, "Lunch is for wimps," is reduced to a joke without a pot to piss in or a ride.

Flash forward to 2008 and we are at the nascent of the current economic collapse. Jacob Moore (Shia LaBeouf) is a stock trader with an interest in alternative energy. He also happens to be engaged to Gekko's estranged daughter, Winnie (Carey Mulligan), a blogger for a liberal news website. Winnie hasn't spoken to her father in years and blames him for the suicide of her brother. The destinies of Gekko and the younger generation are intertwined following the suicide of Jacob's boss, Louis Zabel (Frank Langella).

A mentor and father figure to Jacob, Zabel saw his company (a composite of Bear Stearns and Lehman Brothers) ruined due to false rumors of insolvency spread by Bretton James (Josh Brolin) of the rival Churchill Schwartz. He's a new breed of boardroom bastard, the kind who proudly displays a copy of Goya's gruesome "Saturn Devouring His Children" in his office. Zabel is forced to sell out for pennies on the dime then steps in front of a subway train. In a classic character moment, Gekko responds with quiet respect. At least, Zabel had the "balls to commit suicide." Gekko offers a trade. He will assist in Jacob's revenge scheme against Bretton James in exchange for reuniting him with Winnie.

Money Never Sleeps is a slickly made film thanks to cinematographer Rodrigo Prieto (21 Grams, Brokeback Mountain) who makes New York City and Manhattan come alive. Stone (the son of a stockbroker) and screenwriters Allan Loeb (who once worked at the Chicago Board of Trade) and Stephen Schiff haven't created an in-depth expose of economic collapse. It is merely the backdrop for a more intimate story. However, the filmmakers can't help but diverge from the central plot to lecture the audience and utilize the sledgehammer of plot.

The movie really drags when breaks out a large chunks of exposition as LaBeouf explains fusion, complete with an animated graphics to really drive it home. Later, Stone matches a Dow Jones line chart with the New York City skyline, threatening to turn his film into a glorified Powerpoint presentation. The symbolism is heavy handed with talks about bubbles bursting and a child blowing bubbles in Central Park. Susan Sarandon is cast as Jacob's mother, a real estate agent who looks like a castaway from The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Her subplot feels shoehorned in simply for Stone to comment on the crash of the housing market.

What strengthens Money Never Sleeps is the sparkling dialogue by Loeb and Schiff and an incredibly game cast. Michael Douglas slips right into the skin of Gordon Gekko and is absolutely magnetic from the get-go. His teeth have been dulled, but he remains just as sharp. Even a slightly domesticated Gekko is still cooler than anybody else. It's easy to see why he became an inspiration rather than a cautionary figure. Gekko is at his most vulnerable when delivering a heartfelt speech about his wayward boy. The moment bleeds into real life as it mirrors Douglas and the drug problems of his own son, Cameron.

As Winnie Gekko, Carey Mulligan is the heart of the film and she's the second best actor in it. LaBeouf could have been the weak link, but surrounded by actors like Douglas, Mulligan, Frank Langella, and Josh Brolin, he manages to step it up. Special notice should be given to the 94-year old Eli Wallach as a grizzled partner at Churchill who was old enough to have lived through the Depression.

Charlie Sheen makes a quick cameo as Bud Fox who has become extremely Charlie Sheen-like over the years.

Rating: ** ½

Resident Evil: Afterlife

Resident Evil: Afterlife - Dir. Paul W.S. Anderson (2010)

Snarky internet commentators have snidely referred to Paul W.S. Anderson as 'Worthless Shit' Anderson. While that nickname may be a little harsh, Anderson hasn't impressed with his brand of generic action/sci-fi flicks. His most successful work has to be on the Resident Evil franchise, which is like that annoying rash that just won't go away. The series limps to its fourth installment (not including the animated Resident Evil: Degeneration) in Resident Evil: Afterlife. Anderson's wife, Milla Jovovich, returns as lead heroine Alice while Anderson himself returns as director. He helmed the first installment while acting as writer/producer on the other sequels.

In the first film (a high-tech take on the haunted house movie), Alice is an amnesiac and, along with a team of commandos, tries to survive in a mansion whose AI security system attempts to kill them at every turn. In the sequel, Resident Evil: Apocalypse, takes place immediately after with the survivors battle a zombie outbreak. The threequel, Resident Evil: Extinction, was a Road Warrior knockoff with Alice leading survivors through a post-apocalyptic desert. Since everybody is extinct, it is only apropos that the title of the film is Resident Evil: Afterlife. I suppose Resident Evil: Resurrection is next.

Afterlife opens with a slick and frenetic action sequence as Alice and her army of clones invade the Umbrella Corporation's underground headquarters in Tokyo. Umbrella's CEO Albert Wesker (Shawn Roberts) does what any good supervillain would do and activates the self-destruct. The base blows, leaving only Wesker and the real Alice who is injected with a serum that negates the superpowers she was given via the T-Virus. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, it doesn't matter. Anderson negates nearly everything that was carried over from the previous movies. Good for newcomers, bad for anyone who actually spent money on them. On the other hand, being deprived of her powers makes no difference as Alice is still capable of pulling off outlandish stunts.

Anyways, Alice jacks a plane and makes her way to Alaska in search of the survivors from Extinction. The only person she can find is her friend Claire Redfield (Ali Larter), rendered an amnesiac by an Umbrella Corp. device. Together, they make their way to Los Angeles in search of Arcadia, a supposedly zombie free refuge. They find a small band of survivors hold up inside a maximum security prison. The group includes Luther West (Undercovers' Boris Kodjoe), a former star basketball player, and Claire's brother, Chris (Wentworth Miller). With the zombie hordes crawling at their doors, the remaining humans must find a way to escape.

For Afterlife, Anderson utilizes the same Fusion Camera System used in James Cameron's Avatar to create his 3D effects. As such, it is definitely the best looking of all the Resident Evil movies. There is a distinct depth of field and the images aren't too dark so it's light years ahead of slapdash conversions like Clash of the Titans and The Last Airbender. Anderson embraces the 3D process, but aren't we passed the point where everybody is awestruck by objects thrown at the screen? There really isn't any dire need to see the film in 3D since they add nothing to the already derivative action scenes. Anderson blatantly rips off The Matrix at every turn with bullet time shots that went out of style ten years ago. It's hard not to notice when Alice (clad in a shiny vinyl outfit) dives out of a window while two fisting machine guns ala Trinity or when Wesker (in his dark shades and trenchcoat) dodges bullets in super slow motion.

Admittedly, the movie did have a few cool bits. A fight scene in the showers with Alice and Claire versus the monstrous Executioner was halfway decent in a hot, wet chicks kind of way. Alice loading her shotguns with quarters was also unique.

The supporting characters are simply a collection of entirely dispensable stock characters there to be nothing more than zombie food. Save for Boris Kodjoe, they're instantly forgettable. Shawn Roberts is utterly wooden as the lead villain. In his first post-Prison Break role, Wentworth Miller spends most of the movie trying to escape from prison again. Time to find a new agent?

Going in, Resident Evil: Afterlife had two strikes against it being both a Paul W.S. Anderson movie and a video game movie. To no one's surprise, Afterlife is a failure on every front.

Rating: * ½

The Town

The Town - Dir. Ben Affleck (2010)

”I’ll see you again, on this side or the other.”

As an actor, Ben Affleck won’t be remembered in the same breath as Clint Eastwood. However, as a director, Affleck is almost assured the same longevity. Affleck made a strong debut in his first directorial effort with the Dennis Lehane adaptation, Gone Baby Gone, a film not too different from Eastwood’s own adaptation, Mystic River.

The Town isn’t based on a novel by Lehane (it’s based on The Prince of Thieves by Chuck Hogan), but it shares similar themes. The action shifts from Gone Baby Gone’s Dorchester to Charlestown, a section of Boston just north of the city proper and once a breeding ground for bank robbers. Affleck stars as Doug MacRay, the brains behind a quartet of stick-up artists. His right-hand man is childhood friend James “Jem” Coughlin (Jeremy Renner), a hothead whose rash actions initiate the film’s central plot.

The film opens with the crew holding up a bank. When a silent alarm is tripped, Jem takes bank president Claire Keesey (Rebecca Hall) hostage, making their getaway, and dropping her off soon after. Doug agrees to keep a close on her after learning Claire lives a mere four blocks away from them. There’s a quick meet cute in a Laundromat as Doug becomes a strong shoulder for the vulnerable Claire to cry on. In turn, she becomes a chance for Doug to escape his old life. She's a far cry from his on-again, off-again girlfriend, Krista (Blake Lively), a drug-addled single mother and sister to Jem. With a tanned face caked in make-up, she's like the baby version of Amy Ryan's character in Gone Baby Gone.

The Town consists of many familiar elements of the crime drama, but the film is so well-crafted that it surpasses conventions. Affleck's knowledge and love of the city comes through in every frame shot. His action sequences (which are a dash of Michael Mann, a dash of John Frankenheimer) are skillfully composed without resorting to overused techniques like the shakycam. After the opening bank job, the next set piece is an armored car heist leading into a rousing car chase through the narrow Bostonian streets. It culminates in an out of left field, but very funny, conclusion. The Town climaxes in a daring daylight robbery of Fenway Park.

Affleck and the wonderful Rebecca Hall are great in their roles, even if their relationship isn't as interesting as Doug's interactions with his cohorts, in particular Jeremy Renner's Jem. The Oscar nominated star of The Hurt Locker seems to channel the spirit of James Cagney in his portrayal of the volatile Jem. However, he's a puppy dog compared to Pete Postlethwaite who plays the role of crime boss Fergie the Florist with a menacing restraint. Chris Cooper nearly blows everybody else away in his lone scene as Doug's father who is serving a life sentence for a double murder. Jon Hamm (fulfilling the legal obligation to include a cast member of Mad Men in every movie) rounds out the cast in a rather thin role as the FBI agent on Doug's trail.

Rating: ***

Pride & Prejudice

Pride & Prejudice - Dir. Joe Wright (2005)


The works of Jane Austen have been translated for film and television numerous times. Some of which include: Ang Lee's Sense & Sensibility and Clueless, a modern update of Emma. Of all her novels, Pride & Prejudice is the most often adapted. There was a 1940 version starring Laurence Olivier and Greer Garson, a Bollywood version called Bride & Prejudice, and several BBC miniseries, the best of which is the one from 1995 with Colin Firth. It was Firth's performance in that particular version that lead to him being cast in the Pride & Prejudice-inspired Bridget Jones's Diary, in pretty much the same role, no less.

This latest attempt casts Keira Knightley in the role of Elizabeth Bennet, the second eldest of five sisters. Elizabeth is intelligent and not afraid to speak her mind, unlike most of the women of her time. Her oldest sister is Jane (Rosamund Pike), who is considered to be the most beautiful. Mary (Talulah Riley) is the quiet, middle sister, more concerned with books and the piano than socializing. The youngest of the bunch is Lydia, played by Jena Malone, one of the few Americans in the production. Lydia is, perhaps, too fun-loving for her own good and she's always followed around by Kitty. Their mother, Mrs. Bennet (Brenda Blethyn), spends her day trying to find suitable husbands for all her daughters, especially in light of their financial situation. Without a son, the estate of Mr. Bennet (Donald Sutherland) will be passed onto a cousin, leaving the Bennet women without a home.

Things look up with the arrival of Mr. Bingley (Simon Woods), who hits it off right away with Jane. The same can't be said for Elizabeth and Bingley's friend, Mr. Darcy (Matthew Macfayden), his arrogant and curt attitude rub her the wrong way. Elizabeth confesses, "I swore to loathe him for eternity." Of course, this is movie talk for, "I am madly in love with him and we will be together before the credits roll."

Darcy isn't the only one to get underneath Elizabeth's skin. Much to her dismay, she is courted by the diminutive Mr. Collins (Tom Hollander), the cousin that stands to inherit her home. Despite her mother's wishes, Elizabeth has no interest whatsoever in Mr. Collins. Spurned, Mr. Collins proposes to Elizabeth's best friend, Charlotte Lucas (Claudie Blakely), who agrees as her family needs the money and at the age of 27 (a spinster in her era), she cannot expect another offer as good. It's an emotional moment that could have been more effective had her character been developed more.

Even at a length of over two hours, Pride & Prejudice isn't able to devote the time it needs to the multitude of characters and subplots. While it's hard to keep things straight sometimes, it's a small gripe considering how well-made the film is. This is, by far, the most gorgeous looking of all the Jane Austen movies which culminates with a rendezvous at dusk between Elizabeth and Darcy. This is a great accomplishment for director Joe Wright, who had previously worked in TV before making his feature film debut with Pride & Prejudice.

Wright uses a moving master shot at the start of the film to introduce us to the Bennet household. He uses an even better one during a ballroom scene. The camera seamlessly moves throughout the mansion as it follows one character to the next and so on. It's no wonder that Wright has garnered some impressive accolades for his work. He was chosen as Best New Filmmaker by the Boston Society of Film Critics, British Director of the Year at the London Critics Circle Film Awards, and won the Carl Foreman Award for Most Promising Newcomer at the BAFTAs.

Speaking of awards, Keira Knightley has gained her own recognition for her performance as she snagged nominations for Best Actress at the Golden Globes and Oscars. As Elizabeth, she continues playing the tomboyish characters that she's done so often. Yet, at the same time, she is able to do more than the superficial macho posturing that was done in King Arthur or Domino. There's a splendid scene where the camera pans around Elizabeth as she comes to the realization of how much she truly loves Darcy, while she is staring at a bust of him. And I think it goes without saying that Donald Sutherland and Judi Dench are wonderful in their roles.

Pride & Prejudice is a solid film enhanced by a cast of great actors and a talented, young director.

Rating: ***

Harry Brown

Harry Brown - Dir. Daniel Barber (2009)


Now, this is the kind of role I want to see Michael Caine play. Following in the footsteps of Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino, Caine takes up the mantle of the septuagenarian avenger in Harry Brown. This isn’t Caine’s first foray into the revenge film. He famously starred in one of the best revenge movies (and one of my favorite films of all time) in Get Carter.

As Jack Carter, Caine played a suave, yet vicious, gangster searching for his brother’s killer in the seedy underbelly of Newcastle. In Harry Brown, Caine is a former Royal Marine collecting his pension and living in the council estates (the British equivalent of the projects) in South London. It is a very ugly and dehumanizing world that Harry Brown lives in. At least Newcastle had a working class charm to it, the estates of Harry Brown have an ultra-modern brutalism to it. The building he lives in looks almost like a filing cabinet where society’s castoffs are stuffed in and quickly forgotten. The film was shot on location in the Heygate Estate which bares similar architecture to the infamous car park from Get Carter. Just like the car park, the Estate has been torn down to make way for gentrified reconstruction.

Harry Brown opens in a shocking manner with an amateur video recording of two drugged out youths joy riding on their bikes and shooting off a gun. They terrorize a mother pushing a stroller and unintentionally kill her before being struck down by a truck while fleeing the scene. The area is rife with crime and drugs thanks to the local youth gangs.

Brown lives alone in his apartment while his wife lays comatose in the hospital. He is late for her dying moments after taking the long way because the local hoods gather around a more convenient underpass. The last straw comes when Harry’s best friend and drinking buddy, Leonard (David Bradley) is murdered. The investigating detective (Emily Mortimer) has her suspects, but not enough evidence to arrest them. So Harry dusts off his old service pistol, goes for a walk in the middle of a night, and winds up killing a mugger in self-defense. With a new purpose, Harry is dead set on hunting down Leonard’s killers.

In one of the film’s most unsettling scenes, Harry attempts to purchase guns from a drug dealer frighteningly realized by Sean Harris (who played Ian Curtis in 24 Hour Party People). Harry strikes an uneasy deal as homemade pornography plays on the TV and an OD’d girl lays sprawled out on the sofa.

Even though he’s close to 80 years of age, Michael Caine can still make you believe he can kick your ass. And he probably could. He is easily capable of switching from hardassed to heartfelt. Director Daniel Barber (in his feature-length debut) and writer Gary Young (who also penned the DTV actioner The Tournament) have created a very nasty world for Harry Brown.

However, the film has very little to add to the genre. Harry Brown doesn’t have the deeper meaning of Gran Torino. It doesn’t transcend the trappings of its ‘Kill ‘em all and let God sort it out’ philosophy. More sensitive types may bemoan the way the film reinforces the fascistic overtones common with vigilante pictures.

Rating: ** ½

Is Anybody There?

Is Anybody There? - Dir. John Crowley (2010)


Whenever an actor gets to an advanced age, it seems inevitable that they'll eventually play the eccentric old-timer who dispenses sage advice to a wayward youth desperately seeking guidance. In his late-80's, Michael Caine has done the role twice, first in Secondhand Lions with Robert Duvall and now in Is Anybody There?, directed by John Crowley (Intermission, Boy A).

Bill Milner from Son of Rambow plays Edward whose parents (David Morrissey & Anna-Marie Duff) struggle to make ends meet while running an old folks' home. Edward tries to understand life and death by attempting to record a dying resident's final moments. He's angered by the growing distance between his parents, especially when Dad becomes infatuated with their young housekeeper. Edward's growing resentment is exacerbated when he's ejected from his bedroom to make way for a Clarence (Caine), a retired magician who still tools around in his camper top filled with magical knick knacks.

Clarence is downright hostile when he first arrives and Edward is none too pleased either. Soon, they become fast friends with Clarence teaching the little lad a few tricks to win over his schoolmates. In exchange, Edward does his best to care for Clarence as his heartbreaking senility sets in.

Other than an exceptional performance by Michael Caine, there's nothing truly noteworthy about Is Anybody There. The story is fairly predictable and filled to the brim with a copious amount of sentimentality. Important life lessons are learned as the film tries to wring every sappy tear out of the easily moved.

Rating: **

My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done

My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done - Dir. Werner Herzog (2010)


Lynch and Herzog. Herzog and Lynch. It's a titanic team-up of epic proportions not seen since Superman and Batman first joined forces in Superman #76 back in 1954. David Lynch serves as executive producer on My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done with Werner Herzog as director and co-writer with Herbert Golder.

My Son, My Son was loosely based on the case of Mark Yavorsky, a San Diego man who murdered his mother in 1979. Yavorsky was a stand out basketball player and grad student studying drama at UCSD. At the time, he was starring in a staging of Sophocles’ Greek tragedy, Electra, as Orestes who would murder his mother, Electra, in revenge for killing his father, Agamemnon. Ironically, Yavorsky would do the same, running repeatedly stabbing his mother with an antique sword.

Michael Shannon plays Yavorsky analogue, Brad McCallum, a deeply disturbed individual who still lived at home with his doting mother (Grace Zabriskie). One morning, he walked into his neighbor's house, where mom had taken shelter, and murdered her. Detective Hank Havenhurst (Willem Dafoe) and his younger partner Detective Vargas (Michael Pena) are called to the scene. Brad has barricaded himself in his home, brandishing a shotgun, and claiming to have two hostages. The police are soon joined by Brad's fiancée, Ingrid (Chloe Sevigny), and theatrical director Lee Meyers (Udo Kier), who worked with Ingrid and Brad on a production of The Oresteia.

Together, they reveal Brad's erratic behavior since his return from a disastrous whitewater rafting trip in Peru. His companions were killed by the violent rapids, but Brad escaped when he voice told him not to go. Brad claims to see God in the face of the Quaker Oats oatmeal guy. He vows to buy a home on the moon for Ingrid. His mantra of "Razzle dazzle" becomes eerily reminiscent of Charles Manson and "Helter skelter."

My Son, My Son is as much a straight hostage drama as Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call was a straight crime thriller. This is never more evident than in the moment when the police examine the crime scene. Don't expect exciting the use of high-tech equipment or the discovery of DNA evidence ala CSI. No, the detectives break out tape measures to log in the exact locations of coffee cups on a table. You can also see the unique flourishes of both Lynch and Herzog throughout the picture.

As Lynch did was Blue Velvet, Herzog examines the dark underbelly of idyllic suburbia. The film was shot on location in the actual neighborhood of Point Loma where Yavorsky lived and committed his crime of matricide. It is a completely nondescript area made all the more surreal with the usage of pink and flamingoes as a recurring theme. McCallum has two flamingos as pets and has decorated his garage door with a pastel colored mural of flamingos. Pink dinnerware and other similarly colored items are present during a luncheon with McCallum, his mother, and Ingrid. When mom serves oh so American dessert of Jell-O, the participants freeze in place, creating the Bizarro version of a Norman Rockwell painting. Herzog uses this pseudo-freeze frame again in a scene where McCallum and his bigoted uncle (Brad Dourif) pose in the foreground of a snow-capped forest as a dwarf in a tuxedo stands between them in the background. I don't really know what's going on, but there is an unsettling beauty to Herzog's impromptu tableaus.

By the way, the uncle is an ostrich farmer. It seems gangly, long-legged birds are Herzog's current fascination in the way he fixated on iguanas and gators in Bad Lieutenant.

Long-time character actor Michael Shannon gives another stellar performance as the unhinged McCallum. His booming voice and wild-eyed intensity make you really believe he's completely off his nut. Shannon has been moving further and further into the forefront recently with his Oscar nominated role in Revolution Road and excellent turns in films like Before the Devil Knows You're Dead, Shotgun Stories, and The Runaways. If there's any justice in the world, Shannon will have the career longevity of Christopher Walken. Shannon is joined by Brad Dourif and Udo Kier, making My Son, My Son, a sort-of character actor heaven for cinephiles.

Lynch veteran, Gracie Zabriskie (Wild at Heart, Twin Peaks), doesn't have many lines in the film, but she doesn't need them. With only the simple act of arched eyebrow, Zabriskie manages to speak in volumes through her severe features and facial expressions. Her Big Love co-star, Chloe Sevigny, does a fine job as McCallum's naïve paramour who doesn't get the hint to run like hell during his numerous breakdowns. Herzog rounds out the cast with solid performances from Willem Dafoe, Michael Pena, Irma P. Hall, and Loretta Devine.

As a native San Diegan, it was a delight to see familiar sights such as Point Loma, Balboa Park, and the Convention Center. Herzog also shot on location near the Urubamba River in Peru, the famous sites used in Aguirre and Fitzcarraldo. While My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done may not measure up to those past films, Herzog manages to craft a strange and compelling tale of a man's tenuous grasp on sanity.

Rating: ***

Animal Kingdom

Animal Kingdom - Dir. David Michod (2010)


Animal Kingdom is the grimy, blue collar reflection of the Godfather-style sprawling crime drama, coming to us from the Land Down Under. The film is loosely based on an actual case.

Writer/Director David Michod (who makes his feature-length directorial debut) sets the mood immediately with the introduction of Joshua "J" Cody (James Frecheville) sitting on the couch next to his comatose mother. EMTs arrive and we learn the mother has OD'd on heroin. J's attention drifts in between their futile attempts to revive her and an episode of Deal or No Deal on the TV.

J is sent to live with his mom's estranged family who she tried hard to stay far away from. J comes from a family of bank robbers. His eldest uncle, Pope (Ben Mendelsohn), is in hiding from the corrupt Armed Robbery division who shoot first and ask questions later. The middle brother, Craig (Sullivan Stapleton), is strung out on coke while the youngest, Darren (Luke Ford), follows the others like a lost puppy. He's so close to age with J that he refuses to be called Uncle Darren. The Cody brothers work with Barry Brown (Joel Edgerton who also co-wrote and starred in The Square), a stable family man looking to get out of the business. The matriarch of the Cody family is Janine (Jacki Weaver), a petite woman with arching eyebrows who plants prolonged kisses on the lips of her sons. She's Florence Henderson on the outside, but we soon learn she's black as night on the inside.

When Barry is gunned down by the gung-ho cops, Pope and Craig hatch a plan to get even by murdering two patrolmen. Darren and J are dragged into the muck with them. The investigating officer, Det. Leckie (Guy Pearce, sporting a goofy mustache), seems to genuinely be concerned about J, but has no problem using him to drive a wedge within the family. J finds himself caught between the law and his amoral relatives.

As the title suggests, the film is all about a pecking order with J at the bottom of the food chain. The passive protagonist is forced to become predator or prey. Michod is economic in his focus on the familial relationships. He never shows the Cody clan in action nor does he take us into the courtroom drama that unfolds during the third act. They aren't needed. However, Michod stumbles when he overplays his hand. He underlines the movie with unnecessary voiceover narration by J as he explains themes and story elements that are transparent. Animal Kingdom becomes excessively dour to the point of self-parody. Pope's increasing instability is summed up in a scene where he broods menacingly to the tune of "All Out of Love" by Air Supply. As the passive lead, J is only as interesting as the more compelling characters he's surrounded by. Once he becomes the center of the film, his innate inertia isn't enough to carry the picture.

Rating: **

Lottery Ticket

Lottery Ticket - Dir. Erik White (2010)


Ice Cube has come a long way from being a poster boy for gangster rap to being a purveyor of fluffy urban entertainment. Cube serves as executive producer and star of the ensemble comedy Lottery Ticket.

Kevin Carson (the no longer lil' Bow Wow) lives in the projects of Atlanta with his Grandma (Loretta Devine) and two best friends Benny (Brandon T. Jackson) and Stacie (Naturi Naughton). He picks up a couple lottery tickets for his Grandma and one of them yields a big jackpot of $370 million. Unfortunately, the lottery office is closed for the 4th of July weekend. Waiting it out becomes difficult when word gets out around the neighborhood. Kevin soon finds himself hit up by everyone who's looking to ride the money train. The worst though is ex-con Lorenzo (Gbenga Akinnagbe), just released from jail on shoplifting charges thanks to Kevin. Lorenzo not only wants revenge, but wants the winning ticket too.

Lottery Ticket is at its best in the first fifteen minutes as a slice-of-life examination of its colorful characters ala Cube's Barbershop. The opening finds Kevin just trying to get to work at Foot Locker. He's constantly interrupted by a colorful cadre of characters such as Charlie Murphy as the neighborhood gossip and Ice Cube as a former boxer who lurks in his basement and always asks for beef jerky and a Cherry Coke. Yes, all the most interesting stuff happens before the ticket is even introduced. Once it comes into play, the film drifts into a mawkish sentimentality.

Kevin lets riches go to his head as he begins preferring the company of fair-weather friends and gold digging hoochies to his tried and true pals. He inevitably learns the error of his ways and the value of giving to the community. The movie tries to enforce a positive message while simultaneously reinforcing stereotypes. Protagonists describe other characters as a "premature crack baby felon" or being covered in "slave dust."

Aside from the beginning, the rest of the movie only works in bits and pieces. The best scenes belong to the underutilized tandem of Keith David and Terry Crews as a local gangster and his enforcer and rapper T-Pain in a surprisingly funny role as a chatty convenience store clerk.

Rating: * ½

Get Low

Get Low - Dir. Aaron Schneider (2010)


Robert Duvall and Bill Murray, those two actors together are more than enough reason to check out the folksy, down home drama of Get Low. Loosely based on a true story, Get Low comes to us from first-time director Aaron Schneider and screenwriters Chris Provenzano (Mad Men) and C. Gaby Mitchell (Blood Diamond).

The lead protagonist of the film is an ornery old cuss and who better to real-life ornery old cuss Robert Duvall. He plays Felix Bush, a hermit living in rural Tennessee during the late-1930's. Bush posts a "No Damn Trespassing" sign in front of his property and his only friend is his mule. The folks in town have been spreading rumors and gossip about the old man for decades. It has almost become a rite of passage for the children to throw rocks at his house then flee before he blasts them with his shotgun.

After being informed that a rare friend has passed away, Bush hitches his wagon into town to discuss the idea of a living funeral. When the local pastor (Gerald McRaney) turns him down, Felix is approached by Buddy (Lucas Black), an apprentice at the funeral home run by Frank Quinn (Bill Murray). With his business down, Quinn latches onto the idea, especially after Bush offers to give away his land via lottery. Folks from counties far and wide will come to the funeral so that Bush can hear their stories about him. In reality, he's seeking a way to tell all of them his story.

Bill Cobbs plays Rev. Charlie Jackson, a preacher from Illinois who knows Bush's secret, and Sissy Spacek co-stars as Bush's one-time flame, Mattie.

Get Low has a warm, old-fashioned feel to it. Chalk that up to the strong costumes and production design as well as an earthy look to its cinematography. The film looks very similar to the Coen Brothers' Miller's Crossing in its old-timey feel.

Schneider has created a fitting, Great Depression-era atmosphere, but his cast really brings Get Low to life. Duvall is just perfect as Bush. He can play grizzled eccentric then shift right into warm and fuzzy without missing a beat. Bill Murray is excellent as his foil, a slick, big city huckster now downtrodden by small town life. Murray proves that less is more. He's mastered this restrained minimalism that makes each and every line he utters count. Lucas Black, who starred in Sling Blade at a young age, hasn't done much to impress me with recent roles in The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift and Legion. He again plays a bland Southern boy, but his character is thin in comparison to Duvall and Murray.

Get Low has a rich tone and mood though the story isn't as equally rich. It's a foregone conclusion that Bush's gruff exterior will be slowly chipped away and that the scared townsfolk will find a new understanding for the old coot. Still, the performances are strong enough for a recommendation.

Rating: ***

After.Life

After.Life - Dir. Agnieszka Wojtowicz-Vosloo (2010)


Helmed by a first-time director, After.Life managed to attract a talented cast despite its shortcomings. The picture was directed and co-written by Agnieszka Wojtowicz-Vosloo whose only previous experience was an award-winning short made during her time at NYU. It’s an ultimately forgettable film, yet it managed to snag some big-name talent.

Christina Ricci stars as Anna Taylor, a pretty, young schoolteacher in a rocky relationship with successful attorney, Paul Coleman (Justin Long). One dark and stormy night, Anna and Paul get into an argument with Anna stomping away in a huff. She loses control of her car and wakes up on a slab in the basement of a funeral home run by Eliot Deacon (Liam Neeson). Even though Anna can still walk and talk, Eliot says she is dead. You see, Eliot has the power to speak to the recently deceased. Anna’s soul is in a transitional state before crossing over to the other side. Eliot is there to help in said transition. Or is he?

Anna has her doubts while Paul is convinced Eliot is hiding something. Of course, the inept police force doesn’t believe him. There’s also a creepy, little boy named Jack (Chandler Canterbury) who may also possess similar abilities to Eliot.

Wojtowicz-Vosloo wisely chooses atmosphere over cheap scares and gore. She has a good command of production design with effective uses of warm and cold colors, such as red and violet. She has a good eye, but the screenplay, which was co-written with Paul Vosloo and Jakub Korolczuk, leaves much to be desired. The dialogue tends to be heavy-handed with corny lines like, ”You’re a corpse. Your opinion doesn’t count anymore.”

After.Life strives for ambiguity, but the results are steeped with obviousness. There’s no real mystery behind the movie even without all the easy to spot clues. In fact, the longer the film plays with the audience, the more frustrating it becomes. Vosloo tries to throw us for a loop with a few creepy dream sequences. However, once the character wakes up, it feels like the rug is pulled out from under us. The filmmakers seem to be showing off rather than advancing the plot.

As he always does, Liam Neeson lends some credibility to the role even if his performance won’t stick in your memory. Ricci has incredibly expressive eyes and excels well as the troubled girl in distress. Justin Long is the only weak link in the main cast. He gives an overwrought performance in a role very similar to his turn in Sam Raimi’s Drag Me to Hell. Long’s strong suit is comedy and he lays it on too thick when attempting more dramatic roles.

The central concept of a mortician communicating with the corpse he’s preparing would be an interesting premise for a short film. Here, the concept feels padded out with flat characters and little in the way of suspense to hold your attention.

Rating: *

The Tournament

The Tournament - Dir. Scott Mann (2009)


What makes a good action movie? For me, one of the best action films ever is Die Hard You’ve got a charismatic everyman hero in Bruce Willis as John McClane, a ruthless and calculating villain, a team of dangerous henchmen, high stakes, and great dialogue. Most importantly, Die Hard adds in a level of emotional depth that most action movies lack. McClane not only has to save his wife’s life, but their marriage as well. Plus, you’ve got his budding friendship with a fellow cop still struggling with the effects of a tragic shooting. Oh, and stuff gets blown up, blown up real good. For some, that’s good enough.

To be honest, I’m more than happy to check my brain at the door and enjoy a good, dumb action movie. Just give me bullets, blood, and stuff going boom. I liked Shoot ‘Em Up and the Crank films are probably my favorite guilty pleasures. But, sometimes, an action movie can be too dumb for its own good. That, ladies and gentlemen, brings us to our feature presentation, The Tournament.

Filming on The Tournament originally began in 2007 in the country of Bulgaria, which has become the go-to for direct-to-TV Sci-Fi Channel crap and anybody else with no more than 2 bucks in their pocket. Unfortunately, the production suffered the worst nightmare any low-budget filmmaker could possibly have, it ran out of money. It took so long for them to regain financing that the filmmakers had to re-cast and start from scratch. You kind of want to give director Scott Mann some credit for sticking to his guns (no pun intended). However, after watching the finished product, you also kind of wonder if it was really worth it.

The central concept of The Tournament revolves around a free-for-all death match held every seven years. The contestants are thirty of the world’s top assassins and they compete for a truckload of money. The tournament’s benefactor is a puppet master by the subtle name of Powers (Liam Cunningham). Powers selects a small town for the battlegrounds and has his tech crew hack into the cameras so a clandestine audience of the wealthy and powerful can watch while placing their bets. Cover stories about terror attacks or gas main explosions are prepared to keep the secret of the tournament.

This time around, thirty highly trained assassins converge on the town of Middlesbrough, Great Britain. Among the competitors is Lai Lai Zhen (Kelly Hu), who is haunted by her last job and wants the cash as a way out. She also speaks with some weird accent. I honestly have no clue what Kelly Hu was going for, but at least she still looks hot. I guess that’s what really matters.

The odds on favorite this year is Joshua Harlow (Ving Rhames), the winner of the last tournament. His wife was recently murdered and he re-enters the contest to search for her killer. Harlow is a real badass. How do I know he’s badass? Because he wears a black trenchcoat and walks in slow motion. Sebastian Foucan, who many might remember as the bomb maker from Casino Royale plays Anton Bogart, a master of Parkour. Ian Somerhalder, formerly of Lost, plays Miles Slade, a psychopathic Texan. No one is safe from Slade not even stray dogs or topless dancers. Filling out the roster are an assortment of murderers who utilize everything from martial arts to sniper rifles and even bazookas.

The holders of the tournament keep track of their quarries by implanting them with a sensor that works on body heat. The assassins are all given tracking devices to let them know when an opponent is nearby. A wrench is thrown into the works when Bogart removes his implant and drops it into a pot of coffee. It’s promptly swallowed by the alcoholic Father MacAvoy (Robert Carlyle), a priest who has lost his faith in God. Poor MacAvoy is forced to compete in the tournament and handed down an edict, not from the Holy Father, but from Powers who says, "Kill or be killed." To put a cherry on top of all that, the sensors are armed with an explosive. If no one wins the tournament within 24 hours, then all remaining sensors will detonate.

What happens next is basically a rip-off of The Condemned, which itself was just a rip-off of Battle Royale and The Running Man. The hitmen try to take one another out, innocent bystanders die in the crossfire, and all for the entertainment of the rich and powerful. Some of the action sequences are decent including the Parkour stuff with Foucan.

However, what I cannot overlook is the sheer number of plot holes that any screenwriter with two brain cells could have closed up with ease. The sensors that work on body heat inexplicably switch off whenever someone is killed, despite the fact that the body stays warm for a while after death. If it’s so easy to cut out your tracker, why doesn’t everybody else do it? Also, it seems the trackers only work when it’s convenient for the director.

The Tournament is filled with all sorts of silliness. The story doesn’t make a lick of sense if you think about it for more than a few seconds. The characters have absolutely no emotional depth or any other traits that might distinguish them from every other generic action movie stereotype. Compared to other direct-to-video films, The Tournament still ranks above whatever Steven Seagal tries to peddle these days, but leaves much to be desired.

Rating: *

Blood: The Last Vampire

Blood: The Last Vampire - Dir. Chris Nahon (2009)


Everybody loves vampires and zombies nowadays. They used to be nightmarish creatures that have become almost cute and cuddly. As cool as zombies are, vampires have always had a mystique about them that has made the bloodsuckers sex symbols. The baffling phenomenon known as Twilight can certainly attest to that. Two of the most popular television dramas currently airing are the vampire-centric True Blood and The Vampire Diaries. Let the Right One In was one of the best films of 2008 and one of the best vampire films ever. Vampires aren’t just objects of lust and mystery, but they can be serious ass kickers too as evidenced with Blood: The Last Vampire.

The original Blood: The Last Vampire was an anime film made in 2000 by Production I.G., the animation studio behind Ghost in the Shell. That version of Blood was decent enough if somewhat empty at a scant forty-eight minutes. This live-action version may be twice as long, but it’s also twice as empty.

Gianna Jun (aka Jun Ji-hyun) won over international audiences as the title character of the South Korean comedy, My Sassy Girl. Here, she plays Saya, a 400-year old half-human, half-vampire hybrid. Through a series of flashbacks, we learn that Saya’s father was a renowned samurai who hunted demons until he was murdered by the vampire queen, Onigen (Koyuki). She was raised by one of her father’s retainers, Kato (Yasuaki Kurata), until he too was murdered by Onigen’s forces. Since then, Saya has spent centuries cutting through the vampire species until she can find Onigen.

Now, it is the 1970’s and the Vietnam War rages on. Saya is currently working with a secret organization known as the Council. Hot on Onigen’s trail, the Council sends Saya onto an American military base in Tokyo under the guise of a transfer student. Saya battles several vampires who have disguised themselves as soldiers, students, and faculty. Meanwhile, Alice McKee (Allison Miller), the daughter of the base’s commanding officer, stumbles onto the clandestine war between the Council and the vampires, becoming a target for both sides. Alice’s character is rather superfluous to the paper thin story. She’s ostensibly the outsider who triggers the other characters to espouse large chunks of exposition. I also get the feeling Alice was only there to be a pretty white face so the production doesn’t become too Asian.

The live-action Blood is an international production all the way. The star is South Korean and the cast is primarily American with a little Japanese, British and Irish mixed in. The film’s director is Chris Nahon, the Frenchman who also directed the Jet Li actioner Kiss of the Dragon Though it’s based on an anime feature and set in Japan, the film was shot in Argentina and Hong Kong. The Hong Kong influence continues as the producer for the film was Ronny Yu (Bride with White Hair), the screenwriter was Chris Chow (Jet Li’s Fearless), and the fight choreography was done by Corey Yuen (Fong Sai Yuk, The Transporter). The Hong Kong hand is definitely felt in the action sequences with elaborate acrobatics on display.

As decent as the fight scenes could have been, they are ruined by some of the most absolutely awful special effects I’ve ever seen. Two vampires transform into CGI gargoyles look about as real as your average porn star’s breast implants. Copious amounts of computer generated blood are spilled at the edge of Saya’s sword and not a single drop looks authentic. Blockbusters like Wolverine and G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra have no excuse for bad visual effects, but Blood (with a budget of $30 million) has something of an excuse due to less resources. Yet, I cannot fathom the reasons behind this over reliance on CGI when practical effects would have worked so much better. A sequence where the characters run across rooftops look laughably fake, especially in comparison to one from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon which used plain old wire work.

In the end, the film suffers from bad acting, terrible dialogue, and dreadful FX. Gianna Jun, who was wonderful in My Sassy Girl gives a stilted performance due to her poor command of the English language. If all you’re looking for is the simple experience of watching a cute female in a schoolgirl uniform hack evildoers to pieces with a sword, then Blood: The Last Vampire might satisfy your shallow appetites.

Rating: *

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day - Dir. Garry Marshall (2010)


As I wrote in my review for New York, I Love You, anthology films can be a mixed bag filled with hits and misses. That isn’t the case with Valentine’s Day, it is a complete and utter miss.

An American knockoff of Love Actually, Valentine’s Day was written by Katherine Fugate (creator of the Lifetime soap Army Wives) and directed by Garry Marshall (Pretty Woman). The film stars a litany of well known actors in a series of storylines set in L.A. and revolving around the titular holiday. The whole thing feels like someone threw together a bunch of half-formed ideas from the cookie cutter bin of rom-com concepts because they couldn’t flesh them out into feature length.

Ashton Kutcher is the central character, a florist who gets dumped by his fiancée, Jessica Alba. His best friend, Jennifer Garner, is dating a doctor (Patrick Dempsey), who turns out to be married. Jessica Biel is a sports agent who bonds with Jamie Foxx, a news reporter, over their mutual distaste for Valentine’s Day. Topher Grace works as a mail room clerk in Biel’s office and begins dating the receptionist, Anne Hathaway, who secretly doubles as a phone sex operator. Julia Roberts is an Army captain who shares a plane seat with Bradley Cooper.

The over bloated cast also includes: Julia’s niece Emma, Hector Elizondo, Shirley MacLaine, Queen Latifah, Eric Dane, Kathy Bates, and Joe Mantegna.

The Taylors, Lautner and Swift, also appear as a couple of high schoolers in love. They’re good-looking, bubbly, and empty headed. That pretty much sums up the entire movie. Everybody in the movie is hot, rich, and somehow keep managing to bump into each other. The interconnected contrivances are a lot like Crash, except with romance instead of racism. They all live in some fantasy world version of Los Angeles completely lacking in traffic, crime, or racial diversity. In Valentine’s Day, the only Mexican in L.A. is George Lopez.

Rating: *

New York, I Love You

New York, I Love You - Dirs. Various (2009)


Anthology films are always a mixed bag filled with hits and misses. New York, I Love You is the follow-up to Paris, je t’aime and the second in the “Cities of Love” franchise. Films set in Shanghai, Rio de Janeiro, and Jerusalem are coming.

Paris featured a series of short films set in the City of Lights and directed by a talented assortment of filmmakers such as Alfonso Cuaron (Children of Men), Olivier Assayas (Irma Vep), Gus Van Sant, Wes Craven, and the Coen Brothers. Its successor is comprised of several shorts about romance in the Big Apple. Though the directors aren’t of the same pedigree as Paris, New York has assembled an A-list ensemble of actors. Unlike Paris, New York attempts to connect each story with interstitials of the various characters bumping into each other.

The film begins with a segment by actor/director Jiang Wen (Devils on the Doorstep) with Hayden Christensen as a pickpocket who runs into Rachel Bilson and a more experienced thief in Andy Garcia. Mira Nair directs the next short starring Natalie Portman as a Hasidic Jew negotiating a sale of jewelry with a Hindu man. They bond over their respective relationships and religions. Portman also makes her directorial debut with a later vignette involving a male nanny (Carlos Acosta) and his young charge.

Scarlett Johansson also made her directorial debut with a black & white segment starring Kevin Bacon. Titled “These Vagabond Shoes,” it was cut from the theatrical release, but is available on the DVD.

It says a lot about New York, I Love You when the strongest episode is the one directed by freakin’ Brett Ratner. His segment features Anton Yelchin taking a blind date to the prom. The date (Olivia Thirlby) arrives at the door in a wheelchair. It’s a cute short that doesn’t end quite as you’d expect. Joshua Marston (Maria Full of Grace) helms the second best segment with Eli Wallach and Cloris Leachman as an elderly couple bickering along the streets of NY.

The movie makes its audience feel like a passive viewer floating through the lives of the city’s inhabitants. Unfortunately, these lives are just plain dull. Everything is so innocuous. None of the directors have anything interesting to say about love, relationships, or the city. Except for a scene in Central Park, there’s nothing distinctly New York about the film. It could have been called Toronto, I Love You without much difference.

All the shorts look exactly the same with the sequence by Shekhar Kepur who took over from the late Anthony Minghella. Kepur gives his piece an ethereal quality grounded by the wonderful presence of Julie Christie as a blind opera singer. However, everything is so confoundingly pretentious (or pretentiously confounding, if you prefer) coupled with Shia LaBeouf laughingly playing a crippled bellhop with some indiscernible accent. Mutt Williams as Igor.

New York, I Love You may be a slick and polished affair, but it has all the substance of a bad student film festival.

Rating: *

The American

The American - Dir. Anton Corbijn (2010)


”A man can be reached if he has God in his heart.”
”I don’t think God is very interested in me…”

The trailers make The American out to be a Bourne-style actioner. However, it is more in the vein of the paranoid thrillers of the 70’s with the decidedly existential malaise of Michelangelo Antonioni and Jean-Pierre Melville.

George Clooney has oft been called a modern day Cary Grant. That same glib, debonair persona is on full display in the Ocean’s Eleven films and even the wonderful Fantastic Mr. Fox. For The American, Clooney taps into the world weary persona he has perfected from pictures like Syriana, Michael Clayton, and Up in the Air. He is the masterless samurai, an anonymous killer akin to Alain Delon in Melville’s Le Samourai.

The movie opens in the snowy woods of Sweden where a gaunt Clooney, under the name Jack, shares a cabin with his girlfriend, Ingrid (Irina Bjorklund). Suddenly, they are attacked by assassins. The shootout ends in a horrific and utterly shocking manner.

Clooney tries to pick up the pieces as his handler, Pavel (Johan Leysen who looks an awful lot like Scott Glenn), sends him on a job in the mountainous countryside of Abruzzo, Italy. Staying in a tiny village, Clooney poses as a photographer going by the name of Edward. There, he is to build a customized rifle for a beautiful assassin calling herself Mathilde (Thekla Reuten). Edward inevitably disobeys his testament to avoid making friends. He strikes up a friendship with a chatty priest, Father Benedetto (Paolo Bonacelli), as well as a budding romance with Clara (Violante Placido), a gorgeous prostitute. Clara calls him Mr. Butterfly due to a butterfly tattoo in between his shoulder blades.

The American was based on the 1990 novel by Martin Booth, A Very Private Gentlemen. The film was adapted by Rowan Joffe who penned 28 Weeks Later and is the son of Roland Joffe, director of The Mission and The Killing Fields. The script is surprisingly weak with a predictable ending and relationships that have been played out countless times. Leave it to Clooney to find the town’s one hooker with the heart of gold.

The film’s true strength lies with the almost immaculate direction by Anton Corbijn, a former photographer and music video director. The stunning black and white photography of Corbijn’s debut feature, Control, sets the stage for the work done here by Corbijn and cinematographer Martin Ruhe. He doesn’t shoot the laconic Italian village as a picturesque postcard. Instead, Corbijn explores the town’s every nook and cranny, transforming the expansive landscape into a claustrophobic maze of back alleys and winding walk ways. An aerial shot of the serpentine road into town adds to the labyrinthine feel.

There are scenes where Clooney sits alone in a bar or café. Corbijn constantly frames him off-center, uncomfortable, and pushed towards the corner to accentuate his sense of paranoia. While there is a tenderness to the love scene between he and Clara, they are shot in a static manner and flooded with a red light. Far more care and precision is given to the sequence in which Clooney assembles the rifle. Father Benedetto notices that Mr. Butterfly has the hands of a craftsman and it shows when he cobbles a suppressor out of old auto parts.

As the old adage says, patience is a virtue and The American is a film for the patient moviegoer. It’s a slow burn with the sensibilities of European art cinema. It may not be an entirely original picture, but it is still one of the year’s best.

Rating: *** ½

Machete

Machete - Dirs. Robert Rodriguez & Ethan Maniquis (2010)


”If you’re gonna hire Machete to kill the bad guy; you better make damn sure the bad guy isn’t you!”

As the summer movie season draws to a close, the studios can only offer movie-going audiences the scraps of its production slate. All the big blockbusters like Iron Man 2 and Inception have already been released, leaving the doldrums of August and September with films like The Switch and Vampires Suck. Thankfully, a pair of flicks has hit theaters to save us from the dregs. I’m speaking of Piranha 3D and Machete, both of which are throwbacks to the bygone days of drive-ins and B-movies. Also, both movies are drenched in violence, gratuitous nudity, and a wry sense of humor.

Machete began life as one of the mock trailers for Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino’s ode to exploitation films, Grindhouse. The money shot of the trailer featured Danny Trejo flying through the air on a motorcycle with a mini-gun attached to it as everything explodes behind him. If that didn’t make you want to see a full-fledged Machete film, then you must not have a pulse.

Trejo is one of the most recognizable character actors working today thanks to a body littered with tattoos and a weathered face that looks like he was carved from well-worn granite. He spent over a decade in prisons like San Quentin and Soledad before going legit and getting into the movie industry thanks to ex-con and Reservoir Dogs star Eddie Bunker. Trejo’s first job was for 1986’s Runaway Train as a bit player and boxing trainer for Eric Roberts. Since then, he’s seen as a heavy in films like Heat, Con Air, and Desperado, his first collaboration with Rodriguez. It was then that Rodriguez was inspired to write the original screenplay for Machete with Trejo using his prowess with bladed weapons for good, instead of evil.

The prologue begins with Machete, a hard-assed Federale, heading into a showdown with the ruthless drug lord Torrez (Steven Seagal with a noticeable paunch). The opening has about half a dozen decapitations and a naked woman pulling a cell phone out of a very secure area of her body. That pretty much sets the wild tone for the rest of the film. Torrez murders Machete’s wife and leaves him for dead. Also, every time Seagal draws his sword, we hear the bionic sound effect from The Six Million Dollar Man.

Of course, Machete survives and three years later, he has relocated to Austin, Texas where he ekes out a modest living as a day laborer. He befriends Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), a taco vendor who runs an underground network to provide work and safe harbor for illegal immigrants. Both of them are being watched by Sartana (Jessica Alba), a sympathetic agent for ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement).

One day, Machete is approached by wealthy businessman Booth (Jeff Fahey) for a lucrative job. Not knowing who he really is, Booth hires Machete to assassinate Senator McLaughlin (Robert De Niro), a Texas politician running a no-tolerance campaign against illegal immigrants. He compares them to parasites and terrorists and advocates an electrified border fence. The Senator is in league with Lt. Von Jackson (Don Johnson), a fanatical border patrolman and leader of a pack of vigilantes that make the Minutemen look like the Girl Scouts. As it turns out, Booth is actually McLaughlin’s campaign aide and is framing Machete to drum up support for his boss in the election. On top of that, all the bad guys are working for Torrez. It’s the kind of excessively complicated plot hilariously lampooned in another exploitation homage, Black Dynamite.

Just to get it out of the way, yes, Machete is a film touching upon hot button topics. While it is obvious where Robert Rodriguez’s sympathies lie, you could hardly call it a politically charged movie. It is hard to take any accusations against the film seriously since the film hardly takes itself seriously. It is doubtful Machete will incite a race war with Mexicans riding into battle in lowriders armed with rocket launchers.

Rodriguez shares directing duties with editor Ethan Maniquis and both thoroughly maintain the picture’s over-the-top tone. Machete dispatches his foes in all manner of gruesome methods. Machete doesn’t just use his namesake weapon; he also utilizes surgical implements and gardening tools. In one scene, he repels down the side of a building using a man’s intestines. Machete isn’t just a fighter; he’s a lover too, bedding down nearly every beautiful lady he encounters. Rodriguez accentuates every love scene by breaking out the 70’s porno music.

Rodriguez and Maniquis know how to shoot action and they know hot to shoot their lovely starlets. Michelle Rodriguez looks particularly sultry with an eye patch and half t-shirt while firing off a double-barreled shotgun. Then, there’s Jessica Alba whose shapely figure is on display during a shower scene though the naughty bits have been strategically hidden.

After making a career of playing anonymous henchmen, Trejo finally gets his chance to shine and he doesn’t disappoint. He fits seamlessly into the lead role. He may not have matinee idol looks, but he has a ‘Don’t F—k with Me’ aura about him. The craggily face and the badass presence are definitely reminiscent of Charles Bronson and Lee Marvin. He’s a man of few words, speaking only in short, terse sentences. Don’t ever ask Machete to send you a text message either. ”Machete don’t text.”

With Trejo as his star, Rodriguez fills out the supporting cast with an eclectic assortment of actors. The oddball selection shouldn’t work, but it does as just about everyone plays their parts to a tee. Don Johnson’s cruel border guard is far removed from the pastel wearing Sonny Crockett and Jeff Fahey is wonderfully odious as the crooked Booth. DeNiro affects a Southern accent not too dissimilar to Max Cady from Cape Fear Many of the director’s usual players are also present in Machete including: Cheech Marin as a shotgun-toting priest, Tom Savini as a hired gun who offers his services with 1-800-HITMAN, and former Spy Kid Daryl Sabara as a wannabe cholo. Lindsay Lohan is cast in type as a drug-addled socialite, but doesn’t seem to understand the joke.

Much like Grindhouse, Machete uses artificial scratches on the film stock to give it that vintage feel. It also recycles several scenes originally shot for the trailer.

Described as ‘Mexploitation,’ Machete is pure ultraviolent schlock. It’s popcorn entertainment for R-rated audiences.

Rating: ***

Centurion

Centurion - Dir. Neil Marshall (2010)


Neil Marshall is a genre director through and through. Marshall’s feature film debut was Dog Soldiers, which can best be described as Deliverance meets Platoon with werewolves. His next film was the claustrophobic spelunking horror flick, The Descent. But, Doomsday was probably Marshall’s most geektastic work, a post-apocalyptic action movie that paid homage to Mad Max, Escape From New York, and Excalibur. Marshall brings a trash cinema flavor to his version of the swords and sandals film.

Centurion is one of two recent projects inspired by the disappearance of the Ninth Legion of the Roman Army, beating Kevin Macdonald’s Eagle of the Ninth to the theaters. It is 117 AD and the Roman Empire has been mired for years in their attempts to conquer Britannia. The polished and disciplined Roman soldiers are no match for their supposedly backwater natives, the Picts. They have stymied every effort by the invading Roman forces with their knowledge of the rugged terrain and use of ruthless guerilla tactics.

Enter one Quintus Dias (Michael Fassbender), a brave Roman soldier and son of a gladiator. He is the sole survivor of a Pict assault on his outpost in what is now Scotland. Quintus manages to escape and comes across the Ninth Legion under the command of the awesomely named General Titus Virilus (Dominic West). The General has been tasked by an opportunistic senator to kill the Pict King Gorlacon (Ulrich Thomsen) and wipe out all opposing forces once and for all. However, the Legion is slaughtered and Gen. Virilus captured with only Quintus and a handful of comrades surviving the ambush.

After failing to rescue their commanding officer, Quintus and his ragtag band of legionnaires must brave harsh terrains and equally harsh weather in order to return home. They are dogged at every turn by a hunting party led by the animalistic Etain (Olga Kurylenko), an expert tracker and warrior goddess. Etain was raped as a child by Romans who also cut out her tongue and killed her whole family. She’s pretty pissed off about all that.

The Roman fugitives receive a brief respite when they come across the home of a beautiful village girl (Imogen Poots) who was banished by the Picts for witchcraft.

Centurion is hardly a nuanced picture with rich characters. Fassbender who was so excellent in Hunger and Inglourious Basterds isn’t called upon to do much than be the square jawed hero. Liam Cunningham essentially reprises his role from Clash of the Titans as the crotchety veteran. I couldn’t tell the rest of the fellows apart without double checking IMDB. One soldier is a cook from the Middle East, another is an African marathon runner. Unique traits not seen in similar films, yet they are hardly expanded upon.

Marshall draws obvious allusions to Vietnam and the conflicts in the Middle East, but any political pretenses are buried under a mountain of severed limbs and mutilated corpses. Body parts fly in every direction and skulls are crushed in an explosion of blood. It’s a pure testosterone driven film. Olga Kurylenko is sexy and fierce though too slight and petite to be a believable huntress. But, Marshall isn’t going for true historical accuracy.

Marshall dispenses with pseudo-Shakespearean dialogue and doesn’t feel the need to stretch out the runtime. It’s a welcome change of pace to bloated films like Ridley Scott’s Robin Hood. Centurion is a quick and dirty version of the historical epic for action junkies.

Rating: **

Takers

Takers - Dir. John Luessenhop (2010)


While Inception was an original, high concept take on the heist film, Takers is an entirely unoriginal and derivative entry into the genre.

Idris Elba is Gordon Cozier, the leader of the crew and a slicker, high-class version of Elba’s Stringer Bell from The Wire. He dresses to the nines and lives in a penthouse apartment. His comrades include right-hand man John (the always bland Paul Walker) and the brothers Jake (Michael Ealy) and Jesse (Chris Brown). Jake runs a nightclub while his younger brother is the team’s hotshot youngster. Finally, there’s A.J. (the equally bland Hayden Christensen) who is both the team tough guy and the one who wears the hat.

After a successful bank robbery, the gang is approached by Ghost (rapper Tip “T.I.” Harris who is also one of the film’s producers), a former member just released from prison. Ghost was shot and left for dead on his last job, but never squealed on his pals. He proposes a lucrative armored car heist, having ascertained the driver’s route from some Russian gangsters. Matt Dillon and Jay Hernandez play a pair of LAPD detectives in charge of capturing the thieves.

Takers is all about good looking guys dressing in expensive suits and drinking expensive champagne. It is an out and out guys’ movie with very little room for women. There are only two female characters of any real importance. Zoe Saldana is cast as Rachel, Ghost’s former girlfriend who is now with Jake. She’s hot off Star Trek and Avatar, but only appears in maybe 3 scenes in the movie. There’s also Marianne Jean-Baptiste, who earned an Oscar nomination for Mike Leigh’s Secrets & Lies, as Gordon’s drug-addicted sister. Her subplot feels like padding and an empty attempt at fleshing out the thin characters.

The same can be said for a subplot involving Dillon’s workaholic cop who is also dogged by Internal Affairs. At one point, he’s supposed to be spending the day with his daughter. Instead, he follows the suspects with the girl forced to ride along. The asides are just pointless little detours from the main narrative that don’t go anywhere.

The center piece for any heist film is the planning and build up to the actual heist. Takers unapologetically cribs from The Italian Job and not even the original, but the remake. In fact, one of the characters references that they’re going to pull an “Italian Job.” Number one rule of references, never reference a movie that’s better than yours, especially one you wish you’d rather be watching.

The film’s biggest set piece is a Parkour inspired foot chase with Chris Brown bouncing across the streets of L.A. The sequence would probably be cool if the director and editor had any idea how to cut it together. The scene is absolutely butchered by ADD editing and vertigo inducing shaky camera work. It looks as if it were shot by Paul Greengrass after he was injected with Parkinson’s. John Luessenhop manages to toss in nearly every corny cliché in the action movie playbook. Heroes walking away from an explosion without looking back? Check. Mexican standoff? Check. Not enough for you? How about Hayden Christensen diving through the air and shooting his gun in slow motion?

Takers is hollow and dull, a Michael Mann knockoff for the undiscerning 21st century youth.

Rating: *

Dinner For Schmucks

Dinner For Schmucks - Dir. Jay Roach (2010)


Dinner For Schmucks is a remake of a 1998 French film entitled, Le Dinner de Cons (The Dinner Game), from writer/director Francis Veber who also penned the script for La Cage aux Folles. The latter picture was also remade with Robin Williams and Gene Hackman as The Birdcage.

Jay Roach, who also directed the Austin Powers and Meet the Parents films, brings decidedly American sensibilities to this comedy of class wars.

Tim Conrad (Paul Rudd) is a mid-level executive at investment firm Fender Financial. He wows his boss Lance Fender (Bruce Greenwood) by facilitating a multi-million dollar deal with wealthy Swiss business Martin Mueller (David Walliams). Tim is in line for a promotion, but only after he attends a dinner party with the company heads in which they invite idiots to make fun of them. Tim is appalled at first until he literally runs into life-long goofus, Barry Speck (Steve Carell). A desk drone at the IRS, Barry collects dead mice to use in intricate dioramas, recreating classic works of art like “The Last Supper” and Edvard Munch’s “The Scream.”

Barry arrives at Tim’s apartment a day early and in a matter of hours has turned his life upside-down. Barry single-handedly manages to injure Tim’s back, wreck the place, sabotage his relationship with girlfriend Julie (Stephanie Szostak), and invites in Tim’s mentally unstable ex Darla (Lucy Punch).

This is the third pairing for Rudd and Carell following Anchorman and The 40-Year Old Virgin. Rudd’s deadpan delivery plays well against Carell’s manic and obliviously moronic Barry who is like Michael Scott with the volume turned up to eleven. However, the character feels labored with the movie trying way too hard to wring comedy out of something so thin. Rudd is still likeable enough that you don’t feel he truly deserves to be in the eye of Hurricane Barry. The movie only truly picks up when we finally get to the dinner where we meet idiots like a blind fencing champion, a man with epic facial hair, and a ventriloquist married to his dummy, all of whom lead a revolt against their bourgeois tormentors.

Dinner For Schmucks winds up being an uneven comedy when it should have been a riotous farce. The film manages to be saved by two incredibly funny performances from Zach Galifianakis as a self-professed psychic and Flight of the Conchords’ Jemaine Clement as a pretentious artist fond of dressing up as a satyr.

Rating: **