Throw another one onto the apocalyptic bonfire. A week after the release of The Book of Eli comes another end of the world action film. Zombies and vampires have had their turn, now here come the angels.
God has grown tired of mankind and orders his army of winged warriors to wipe them off the face of the Earth. One angel, Michael (Paul Bettany), disobeys his creator. He heads to the mortal realm, cuts off his wings, and loads up with automatic weapons. He makes his way to a diner called Paradise Falls in the middle of nowhere. There, he must protect Charlie, the waitress (Adrianne Palicki), and more importantly, her unborn child who is destined to lead humanity into greatness.
What transpires is a biblical version of John Carpenter’s Assault on Precinct 13 with Michael and a ragtag group of humans defending the diner from an onslaught of possessed humans and the vengeful angel Gabriel (Kevin Durand). Among those diners are Bob Hanson (Dennis Quaid), the hardnosed owner; his son Jeep (Lucas Black) who pines away for Charlie; Percy (Charles S. Dutton), the one-handed cook; Howard & Sandra Anderson (Jon Tenney & Kate Walsh) and their daughter Audrey (Willa Holland); and Kyle (Tyrese Gibson), a passer-by who asks for directions.
You’d think a movie about the end of days and angels with machine guns would be pretty exciting. Alas, Legion starts off strong, sags in the middle, and peters out at the very end. The film’s best and most memorable scene comes early when the diners are attacked by a little, old lady (“You’re baby is going to fuckin’ burn!”). Nothing else in Legion lives up to that moment. The movie grinds to a halt with a second act bloated by endless exposition and a half-assed attempt at character development with scene after scene of the diners getting to know each other. While admirable, their backstories are so clichéd that they still remain paper thin which means valuable smashing time is wasted with talk, talk, talk.
In the pantheon of angel movies, Legion is definitely superior to that horrible John Travolta film, but isn’t nearly as good as Wim Wenders’ classic Wings of Desire. Though Wings probably would have been even better if the angels in it had machine guns too.
Rating: * ½
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