Resident Evil: Retribution

Resident Evil: Retribution - Dir. Paul W.S. Anderson (2012)

Trying to make sense of the convoluted mythos of the Resident Evil film franchise is a more daunting task than attempting to complete the games on the highest difficulty level. Even the architects of the series, writer/director Paul W.S. Anderson and his wife/starlet Milla Jovovich, can’t tell what the hell is happening. That hasn’t stopped them from soldiering on with a fifth film, Resident Evil: Retribution.

Proof that Anderson has sacrificed substance at the altar of style is found in the opening credits, which play out in reverse, slow-motion 3D. Picking up where Resident Evil: Afterlife left off, Alice (Jovovich) and the survivors on board a cargo freighter are attacked by forces of the Umbrella Corporation led by a brainwashed Jill Valentine (Sienna Guillory). From there, Jovovich gives the audience a recap of the series so far. Next is a prologue out of Zack Snyder’s Dawn of the Dead remake with Alice as a suburban housewife married to Carlos Olivera (Oded Fehr) with a deaf daughter named Becky (Aryana Engineer). As the zombies slaughter everyone, Alice awakens naked (save for a convenient towel) in a holding cell where she's tortured by Valentine. Suddenly, Alice is freed by Ada Wong (Li Bingbing) and former archenemy Albert Wesker (Shawn Roberts), who has been usurped from his position as Umbrella boss by the malevolent A.I. from the first movie, The Red Queen (Megan Charpentier).

Alice learns she is trapped inside a massive research facility beneath the Arctic where Umbrella has recreated major cities around the world to test their biological weapons on unsuspecting clones, including good and evil versions of past characters like Rain Ocampa (Michelle Rodriguez) and James Shade (Colin Salmon). Meanwhile, an assault team consisting of Leon Kennedy (Johann Urb), Barry Burton (Kevin Durand), and Luther West (Boris Kodjoe) is dispatched to rescue Alice and Ada.

Retribution scores a minor victory in the fact that it comes closest to replicating the video game experience more than any other game adaptation. The protagonists collect items and weapons in order to advance from one level to the next with helpful map graphics to orient the viewer. It's about as thrilling as watching someone play video games while hogging the controller. The barebones plot shamelessly rips off Aliens with Becky fulfilling the role of Newt to Alice's Ripley in a vain effort to inject some heart into this hollow action flick. The connections between each installment are tenuous with Anderson hitting the reset button whenever he feels the need. Alice has superpowers then she doesn't. Not that it matters either way since she has no problems defeating hordes of the undead with gravity defying flips, all while dressed in a tightly buckled leather outfit. It still provides more protection than Ada Wong's combat attire of a slinky evening gown and strappy high heels.

At least, Anderson keeps the pace brisk and action packed so as not to call attention to the thin plot or the clipped dialogue recited in increasingly wooden fashion by the cast.

Resident Evil: Retribution is more visually impressive than its predecessors, but no less dull or derivative. Only the most hardcore fans of the series will be entertained, especially by an open ending that threatens us with additional mind-numbing sequels.

Rating: * (*****)

Dirty Girl

Dirty Girl - Dir. Abe Sylvia (2011)

Dirty Girl had the buzz needed to become the next indie darling. The screenplay by first time filmmaker Abe Sylvia made the Black List, a 'best of' list for unproduced screenplays, in 2007. When Dirty Girl premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival in 2010, the Weinstein Company reportedly rushed to acquire it for $3 million. Not a surprise considering the story is a coming-of-age tale and an adventurous road trip, two staples of indie cinema, and features a sassy, strong-willed female protagonist. However, Dirty Girl didn't get much of a push in the end. It was only released in a handful of theaters in October for about five weeks and now hits shelves on DVD only.

Set in 1987, the movie follows Juno Temple as the titular 'dirty girl,' Danielle, a high schooler brazen in her defiance and sexuality. Both attributes are frowned upon in the relatively conservative town of Norman, Oklahoma. After mouthing off to a teacher, Danielle is sent to the remedial class where she meets with Clarke (Jeremy Dozier), a shy, overweight and bullied boy struggling with his homosexuality. The two are paired together for a parental assignment requiring them to care for a sack of flour as if it were a real baby.

Incidentally, are kids really given these projects where they have to care for eggs or dolls? Is this purely a sitcom invention or is it a legit scholastic requirement?

Anyways, despite Danielle's misanthropy, the two teens bond over the fact that they both come from dysfunctional homes. Danielle doesn't fall far from the tree. Her mother, Sue-Ann (Milla Jovovich), is a knockout, heavily caked in make-up with a Farrah Fawcett-style feathered hairdo. She's the type who would rather be a big sister than a mom. Against her daughter's vehement objections, Sue-Ann is set to marry a straight-laced Mormon (William H. Macy) looking to save their souls from damnation. Clarke lives in fear of his homophobic and abusive father (Dwight Yoakam), who forces him to attend awkward therapy sessions and threatens to ship Clarke off to a military academy. Clarke's mom, Peggy, (Mary Steenburgen) is too meek and fearful to do anything about it.

Clarke ends up stealing dad's Cadillac for a road trip to California when Danielle discovers a picture of her father in an old yearbook.

Dirty Girl isn't an autobiographical film though Sylvia did grow up in Oklahoma as an awkward and closeted teen. He didn't have the problems Clarke did as his parents were hippies from California. Still, it doesn't seem like Sylvia particularly enjoyed his time in the Sooner State as Dirty Girl alternately acts as a parody and middle finger to Middle America and conservative values. Dirty Girl may be set in the 80's, but it looks like the 70's, a sly dig at how behind the times everyone is. The school faculty and William H. Macy's Mormon are portrayed as uptight and buffoonish.

The film's soundtrack is decidedly 80's as it features familiar tunes like Bow Wow Wow's "I Want Candy" and Pat Benatar's "Shadows of the Night." There's even a striptease with Clarke strutting about the stage in an oversized sweatshirt ala Jennifer Beals in Flashdance. Melissa Manchester acts as the picture's muse with nine of her songs sprinkled throughout the narrative, including an original tune, "Rainbird," which she co-wrote with Mary Steenburgen).

Juno Temple, daughter of director Julien Temple, plays the role of Danielle with gusto. Listening to her Southern twang, you'd never guess she's a Brit. Temple portrays Danielle as a firebrand unrepentant about her promiscuity. She's not the most likable character due to the way she profanely berates Clarke and Sue-Ann. Newcomer Jeremy Dozier turns in a good performance in which he never crosses the line into a gay stereotype. Mary Steenburgen is also wonderful as Clarke's quiet and caring mother. The best performance in Dirty Girl surprisingly belongs to country singer Tim McGraw as Danielle's father, who underplays it during a heartbreaking sequence with Temple.

Not all of Dirty Girl works as well as the powerful first meeting between Danielle and her dad. Sylvia struggles with giving his film a unique voice as the story plays out in a similar manner to so many other indie flicks. The tone wavers between ribald humor and the sentimentality of an afterschool special. The cleverest gag you'll find comes from the changing expressions drawn on the face of Danielle and Clarke's little bundle of joy as it reacts to the situation her "parents" find themselves.

Despite some strong points, Dirty Girl is too scattershot and derivative to recommend. Juno Temple and Jeremy Dozier are entertaining enough, but the story unfolds in a broad and sappy manner best described as Juno meets Little Miss Sunshine by way of Glee.

Rating: ** (*****)

The Three Musketeers

The Three Musketeers - Dir. Paul W.S. Anderson (2011)

Paul W.S. Anderson is a name feared by all right-thinking film critics. Much like Michael Bay, M. Night Shyamalan, and Uwe Boll, when Anderson's name appears in the credits, nothing good can come of it. Anderson takes time away from video game adaptations for The Three Musketeers, in which he turns Alexandre Dumas's seminal swashbuckling adventure into a garish and modernized thrill ride.

The story begins in Venice with Athos (Matthew Macfadyen), Aramis (Luke Evans), and Porthos (Ray Stevenson) breaking into the vault of Leonardo da Vinci in order to steal blueprints for an airship. They are betrayed by Athos's paramour, Milady de Winter (Milla Jovovich), who steals the plans for Lord Buckingham (Orlando Bloom) in order to build a fleet of flying war machines.

A year later, the Musketeers are now living in disgrace. Athos has become a drunkard, Aramis is relegated to being a glorified meter maid, and Porthos lives off richer women. Along comes the hotshot D'Artagnan (Logan Lerman) who hopes to follow in his father's footsteps as a Musketeer. They band together and uncover a plot by Cardinal Richelieu (Christoph Waltz) and Milady to plunge France into war against England by fabricating an illicit affair between Buckingham and the Queen (Juno Temple).

The Three Musketeers lives up to the reputation of its director as a mindless spectacle that is light on intelligence and heavy on action. There's plenty of lavishly choreographed swordfights such as when the Musketeers face the Cardinal's guards with the odds ten to one. These clashes are broken up with slow motion flourishes in the vein of Zack Snyder or the Wachowskis. Anderson's wife, Milla Jovovich, gets her chance to shine once again performing Resident Evil-style stunts while wearing ornate 17th century gowns and tight corsets. Her Milady is part-Mata Hari and part-ninja assassin. It's all so ludicrous, but the movie is pushed into absurd boundaries when a steampunk element is introduced through the use of flying pirate ships armed with turrets and flamethrowers. And just when all this action builds to a crescendo, it sinks like the Hindenburg thanks to a non-ending that shamelessly sets up a sequel.

Matthew Macfadyen and Luke Evans give solid performances as Athos and Aramis while Ray Stevenson follows Thor by once again playing the boisterous member of a trio of warriors. Logan Lerman is far too white bread to leave any impression as D'Artagnan and his romance with Gabriella Wilde as one of the Queen's ladies in waiting is equally bland. Christoph Waltz is never given the chance to really shine as one of the movie's many villains. As the Cardinal's henchman, Rochefort, Mads Mikkelsen is easily the best thing in Musketeers, playing a one-eyed man for the third time after Casino Royale and Valhalla Rising. Orlando Bloom is the worst thing in the movie. His attempts at playing an over-the-top bad guy are awful and thoroughly unconvincing.

As he did with Resident Evil: Afterlife, Anderson shot The Three Musketeers in 3D, but the process hardly adds anything to the experience aside from a dimmer picture and the occasional blade pointed at your face.

The Three Musketeers cost $75 million and has so far barely scrapped together $20 million in box office gross. Surely, Summit Entertainment can find better uses for all those piles of Twilight money. Even with a strong ensemble cast, Musketeers can't offer the empty excitement expected of shallow popcorn fare.

Rating: * (*****)

Stone

Stone - Dir. John Curran (2010)

The first line of dialogue uttered in the film Stone is, "You keep my soul in a dungeon." If you thought the movie couldn't get any cheesier, you thought wrong.

Robert DeNiro stars as Jack Mabry, a parole officer on the verge of retirement. He's been married to his wife, Madylyn (Frances Conroy), for over forty years. The Mabrys attend church and read bible passages together but, it all seems like an empty act. In the opening prologue, it is a young Madylyn who speaks that line as she intends on leaving Jack. His response is a shocking and frightening threat that keeps Madylyn locked by his side. The years have clearly taken their toll on a woman who is practically zombiefied.

Jack newest case is Gerald "Stone" Creeson (Edward Norton) who has served eight years for a botched robbery that led to the deaths of his grandparents. Stone is what some would call a 'wigger.' He has cornrows and speaks in a faux language of the streets. Desperate to get out of prison, Stone sends his smoking hot wife Lucetta (Milla Jovovich) to seduce Jack. What happens next isn't a steamy potboiler, but a turgid character study in hypocrisy and spirituality.

Jack merely pays lip service to God. He goes through the motions and constantly listens to Christian talk radio while driving to and from work. But, for all his superficial self-righteousness, God has yet to touch his heart. Stone is merely interested in telling Jack what he wants to hear. He chats with Jack about Zukangor, a New Age religion he discovered from a pamphlet in the prison library. However, Stone has an honest-to-goodness spiritual awakening while witnessing, of all things, a brutal stabbing. For Jack, it is unthinkable that this low-life con gets a direct line to God while he struggles. Lucetta never deals with these sorts of existential quandaries, but she too maintains a façade. By day, she works as a schoolteacher, at night; she's a raging nymphomaniac though still dutiful to her incarcerated husband.

Throughout the film, director John Curran hammers home the themes as bluntly as possible. The talk radio commentators act as a Greek chorus reiterating what we've seen already. The dialogue lacks any semblance of subtlety and the plot just sputters along until it reaches a less than satisfying conclusion. It's a shame since the screenplay was written by Angus Maclachlan who penned the far more engaging Junebug, which introduced the world to the wonder that is Amy Adams.

Stone does feature a solid turn from DeNiro. It's a low key performance from a man who has been spinning his wheels with self-parodying roles in Meet the Fockers and Machete. Norton is good as well playing a character similar to the one from his big screen debut in Primal Fear. Some critics argue that Norton's performance (which he based on actual prisoners he met in Detroit) is too labored, but I believe that is the point. Stone is mimicking the type of persona he needs to survive in prison. Jovovich is also surprisingly good (not just because she gets naked) and tries to put on a performance that is a bit better than the movie will allow.

The cast is talented, but the characters just aren't compelling. Stone is shallow melodrama and when it's over, you'll wonder what was the point of it all.

Rating: * ½

Resident Evil: Afterlife

Resident Evil: Afterlife - Dir. Paul W.S. Anderson (2010)

Snarky internet commentators have snidely referred to Paul W.S. Anderson as 'Worthless Shit' Anderson. While that nickname may be a little harsh, Anderson hasn't impressed with his brand of generic action/sci-fi flicks. His most successful work has to be on the Resident Evil franchise, which is like that annoying rash that just won't go away. The series limps to its fourth installment (not including the animated Resident Evil: Degeneration) in Resident Evil: Afterlife. Anderson's wife, Milla Jovovich, returns as lead heroine Alice while Anderson himself returns as director. He helmed the first installment while acting as writer/producer on the other sequels.

In the first film (a high-tech take on the haunted house movie), Alice is an amnesiac and, along with a team of commandos, tries to survive in a mansion whose AI security system attempts to kill them at every turn. In the sequel, Resident Evil: Apocalypse, takes place immediately after with the survivors battle a zombie outbreak. The threequel, Resident Evil: Extinction, was a Road Warrior knockoff with Alice leading survivors through a post-apocalyptic desert. Since everybody is extinct, it is only apropos that the title of the film is Resident Evil: Afterlife. I suppose Resident Evil: Resurrection is next.

Afterlife opens with a slick and frenetic action sequence as Alice and her army of clones invade the Umbrella Corporation's underground headquarters in Tokyo. Umbrella's CEO Albert Wesker (Shawn Roberts) does what any good supervillain would do and activates the self-destruct. The base blows, leaving only Wesker and the real Alice who is injected with a serum that negates the superpowers she was given via the T-Virus. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, it doesn't matter. Anderson negates nearly everything that was carried over from the previous movies. Good for newcomers, bad for anyone who actually spent money on them. On the other hand, being deprived of her powers makes no difference as Alice is still capable of pulling off outlandish stunts.

Anyways, Alice jacks a plane and makes her way to Alaska in search of the survivors from Extinction. The only person she can find is her friend Claire Redfield (Ali Larter), rendered an amnesiac by an Umbrella Corp. device. Together, they make their way to Los Angeles in search of Arcadia, a supposedly zombie free refuge. They find a small band of survivors hold up inside a maximum security prison. The group includes Luther West (Undercovers' Boris Kodjoe), a former star basketball player, and Claire's brother, Chris (Wentworth Miller). With the zombie hordes crawling at their doors, the remaining humans must find a way to escape.

For Afterlife, Anderson utilizes the same Fusion Camera System used in James Cameron's Avatar to create his 3D effects. As such, it is definitely the best looking of all the Resident Evil movies. There is a distinct depth of field and the images aren't too dark so it's light years ahead of slapdash conversions like Clash of the Titans and The Last Airbender. Anderson embraces the 3D process, but aren't we passed the point where everybody is awestruck by objects thrown at the screen? There really isn't any dire need to see the film in 3D since they add nothing to the already derivative action scenes. Anderson blatantly rips off The Matrix at every turn with bullet time shots that went out of style ten years ago. It's hard not to notice when Alice (clad in a shiny vinyl outfit) dives out of a window while two fisting machine guns ala Trinity or when Wesker (in his dark shades and trenchcoat) dodges bullets in super slow motion.

Admittedly, the movie did have a few cool bits. A fight scene in the showers with Alice and Claire versus the monstrous Executioner was halfway decent in a hot, wet chicks kind of way. Alice loading her shotguns with quarters was also unique.

The supporting characters are simply a collection of entirely dispensable stock characters there to be nothing more than zombie food. Save for Boris Kodjoe, they're instantly forgettable. Shawn Roberts is utterly wooden as the lead villain. In his first post-Prison Break role, Wentworth Miller spends most of the movie trying to escape from prison again. Time to find a new agent?

Going in, Resident Evil: Afterlife had two strikes against it being both a Paul W.S. Anderson movie and a video game movie. To no one's surprise, Afterlife is a failure on every front.

Rating: * ½