While Inception was an original, high concept take on the heist film, Takers is an entirely unoriginal and derivative entry into the genre.
Idris Elba is Gordon Cozier, the leader of the crew and a slicker, high-class version of Elba’s Stringer Bell from The Wire. He dresses to the nines and lives in a penthouse apartment. His comrades include right-hand man John (the always bland Paul Walker) and the brothers Jake (Michael Ealy) and Jesse (Chris Brown). Jake runs a nightclub while his younger brother is the team’s hotshot youngster. Finally, there’s A.J. (the equally bland Hayden Christensen) who is both the team tough guy and the one who wears the hat.
After a successful bank robbery, the gang is approached by Ghost (rapper Tip “T.I.” Harris who is also one of the film’s producers), a former member just released from prison. Ghost was shot and left for dead on his last job, but never squealed on his pals. He proposes a lucrative armored car heist, having ascertained the driver’s route from some Russian gangsters. Matt Dillon and Jay Hernandez play a pair of LAPD detectives in charge of capturing the thieves.
Takers is all about good looking guys dressing in expensive suits and drinking expensive champagne. It is an out and out guys’ movie with very little room for women. There are only two female characters of any real importance. Zoe Saldana is cast as Rachel, Ghost’s former girlfriend who is now with Jake. She’s hot off Star Trek and Avatar, but only appears in maybe 3 scenes in the movie. There’s also Marianne Jean-Baptiste, who earned an Oscar nomination for Mike Leigh’s Secrets & Lies, as Gordon’s drug-addicted sister. Her subplot feels like padding and an empty attempt at fleshing out the thin characters.
The same can be said for a subplot involving Dillon’s workaholic cop who is also dogged by Internal Affairs. At one point, he’s supposed to be spending the day with his daughter. Instead, he follows the suspects with the girl forced to ride along. The asides are just pointless little detours from the main narrative that don’t go anywhere.
The center piece for any heist film is the planning and build up to the actual heist. Takers unapologetically cribs from The Italian Job and not even the original, but the remake. In fact, one of the characters references that they’re going to pull an “Italian Job.” Number one rule of references, never reference a movie that’s better than yours, especially one you wish you’d rather be watching.
The film’s biggest set piece is a Parkour inspired foot chase with Chris Brown bouncing across the streets of L.A. The sequence would probably be cool if the director and editor had any idea how to cut it together. The scene is absolutely butchered by ADD editing and vertigo inducing shaky camera work. It looks as if it were shot by Paul Greengrass after he was injected with Parkinson’s. John Luessenhop manages to toss in nearly every corny cliché in the action movie playbook. Heroes walking away from an explosion without looking back? Check. Mexican standoff? Check. Not enough for you? How about Hayden Christensen diving through the air and shooting his gun in slow motion?
Takers is hollow and dull, a Michael Mann knockoff for the undiscerning 21st century youth.
Rating: *
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