Cars 2

Cars 2 - Dirs. Brad Lewis & John Lasseter (2011)

Pixar stands as one of the few certainties in this topsy-turvy world. They consistently churn out some of the highest quality pictures out there. Their films always find themselves on numerous critics' year-end lists and have earned the studio 26 Academy Awards. Yet, there always seems to be some doomsayer just waiting for Pixar to slip up. These cynics are likely sitting in the back of the theater (next to Armond White) waiting for the moment when the credits roll so they can finally stand and give a round of slow, sarcastic applause to Pixar's first failure. Everyone seems to be pegging Cars 2, as the first misstep. It's received the worst reviews of any Pixar film thus far. Why should Pixar sequelize one of their weakest efforts, when something like The Incredibles is far more deserving of a second installment? As Spaceballs' guru, Yogurt, would say, "Merchandising, merchandising, merchandising." Hot Wheels toys based on the characters sell like hot cakes to kids and adult collectors alike, but the movies don't share the appeal to a wide range of age groups. Most Pixar productions feel like movies made for adults, but enjoyed by kids. Cars 2 feels like a movie made for kids that will be enjoyed solely by kids.

As all sequels tend to do, Cars 2 goes global as Lightning McQueen (Owen Wilson) enters the World Grand Prix, a three-pronged race sponsored by former oil tycoon Sir Miles Axelrod (Eddie Izzard). Axelrod is now an advocate for alternative fuels and is using the race to promote his newly invented, Allinol. McQueen takes along his best buddy, Mater (Larry the Cable Guy), who proves you can take the redneck out of Radiator Springs, but you can't take the Radiator Springs out of the redneck. Mater's slack-jawed yokel act winds up being an embarrassment for McQueen.

Meanwhile, British super spy Finn McMissile (Michael Caine) is investigating the notorious Professor Zundapp (Thomas Kretschmann), who is attempting to sabotage the Grand Prix in order to protect big oil's interests. The two storylines intersect due to a Hitchcockian case of mistaken identity when Mater comes into possession of photographic evidence that could reveal the identity of the evil mastermind. Mater teams with McMissile and his assistant Holley Shiftwell (Emily Mortimer) to save the life of Lightning McQueen and stop the villains.

Cars 2 continues the themes of its progenitor by extolling the virtues of small town values and folksy Americana. The sequel keeps the spirit alive and places it on an expansive, international scale. The stakes are raised immensely by the new element of espionage, which allows Pixar to further delve into this world of cars. It's clear the Cars franchise is a passion project of noted auto enthusiast John Lasseter (who co-directed with Brad Lewis) due to the attention to detail. Pixar remains the gold standard when it comes to gorgeous animation. Every shot is vividly rendered, especially the scenes set in Tokyo, which is shown as a neon metropolis full of cutesy anime-style characters. Much like the third Toy Story, the majority of the 3D effects in Cars 2 are rather subtle and aren't worth either the extra price or the dulling of the bright animation.

Cars 2 might be the most action-packed Pixar flick yet. There are enough car chases through European streets to make the late-John Frankenheimer drool. The movie opens with a spectacular sequence as McMissile battles an army of henchmen on an oil rig. There's also an exciting climax in Italy on a race track clearly modeled after Monaco. Parents should be warned that several cars meet unfortunate demises, but never in a graphic manner.

While Pixar may have put it into neutral for Cars 2, they are hardly deserving of all the critical drubbing. The screenplay by Ben Queen (with story credits by Lasseter, Lewis, and Dan Fogelman) tosses in a few clever gags. The best joke revolves around an alliance of disgruntled Pacers, Gremlins, and Yugos, who serve as the car versions of the mob as well as the muscle for Prof. Zundapp.

The voice acting is sold with Owen Wilson returning as the affable Lightning McQueen, no longer the jerk he was in the first film. The denizens of Radiator Springs are also back in much smaller roles though three cast members have sadly passed away in the intervening years, Joe Ranft, George Carlin, and Paul Newman. Red the fire engine appears, but has no lines while Carlin's Fillmore the hippie dippie van has been recast (Lloyd Sherr). Newman's Doc Hudson receives a poignant remembrance. Michael Caine and Emily Mortimer are welcome additions, but the most memorable is John Turturro as formula one racer Francesco Bernoulli. Turturro is wonderfully over-the-top as McQueen's arrogant rival. The funny accent turns him into a G-rated version of The Jesus from The Big Lebowski. Pixar even finds a way to work in the legendary Bruce Campbell as American muscle car spy Rod "Torque" Redline. The one question mark that hovers over the film does so above one Larry the Cable Guy. The buck-toothed Mater graduates from comic relief sidekick to main protagonist. His backwoods persona does grow tiresome and a little annoying as Cars 2 zooms towards the finish line.

There's good and then there's Pixar good. Cars 2 is merely good, simply lacking the emotional depth of triumphs such as Toy Story and Up. Still, it's no lemon like the henchcars it features. Cars 2 is a lightweight, lighthearted, and candy-colored adventure that possesses just enough charm to appeal to younger audiences and the occasional adult.

Rating: ** ½ (*****)

Machete

Machete - Dirs. Robert Rodriguez & Ethan Maniquis (2010)


”If you’re gonna hire Machete to kill the bad guy; you better make damn sure the bad guy isn’t you!”

As the summer movie season draws to a close, the studios can only offer movie-going audiences the scraps of its production slate. All the big blockbusters like Iron Man 2 and Inception have already been released, leaving the doldrums of August and September with films like The Switch and Vampires Suck. Thankfully, a pair of flicks has hit theaters to save us from the dregs. I’m speaking of Piranha 3D and Machete, both of which are throwbacks to the bygone days of drive-ins and B-movies. Also, both movies are drenched in violence, gratuitous nudity, and a wry sense of humor.

Machete began life as one of the mock trailers for Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino’s ode to exploitation films, Grindhouse. The money shot of the trailer featured Danny Trejo flying through the air on a motorcycle with a mini-gun attached to it as everything explodes behind him. If that didn’t make you want to see a full-fledged Machete film, then you must not have a pulse.

Trejo is one of the most recognizable character actors working today thanks to a body littered with tattoos and a weathered face that looks like he was carved from well-worn granite. He spent over a decade in prisons like San Quentin and Soledad before going legit and getting into the movie industry thanks to ex-con and Reservoir Dogs star Eddie Bunker. Trejo’s first job was for 1986’s Runaway Train as a bit player and boxing trainer for Eric Roberts. Since then, he’s seen as a heavy in films like Heat, Con Air, and Desperado, his first collaboration with Rodriguez. It was then that Rodriguez was inspired to write the original screenplay for Machete with Trejo using his prowess with bladed weapons for good, instead of evil.

The prologue begins with Machete, a hard-assed Federale, heading into a showdown with the ruthless drug lord Torrez (Steven Seagal with a noticeable paunch). The opening has about half a dozen decapitations and a naked woman pulling a cell phone out of a very secure area of her body. That pretty much sets the wild tone for the rest of the film. Torrez murders Machete’s wife and leaves him for dead. Also, every time Seagal draws his sword, we hear the bionic sound effect from The Six Million Dollar Man.

Of course, Machete survives and three years later, he has relocated to Austin, Texas where he ekes out a modest living as a day laborer. He befriends Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), a taco vendor who runs an underground network to provide work and safe harbor for illegal immigrants. Both of them are being watched by Sartana (Jessica Alba), a sympathetic agent for ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement).

One day, Machete is approached by wealthy businessman Booth (Jeff Fahey) for a lucrative job. Not knowing who he really is, Booth hires Machete to assassinate Senator McLaughlin (Robert De Niro), a Texas politician running a no-tolerance campaign against illegal immigrants. He compares them to parasites and terrorists and advocates an electrified border fence. The Senator is in league with Lt. Von Jackson (Don Johnson), a fanatical border patrolman and leader of a pack of vigilantes that make the Minutemen look like the Girl Scouts. As it turns out, Booth is actually McLaughlin’s campaign aide and is framing Machete to drum up support for his boss in the election. On top of that, all the bad guys are working for Torrez. It’s the kind of excessively complicated plot hilariously lampooned in another exploitation homage, Black Dynamite.

Just to get it out of the way, yes, Machete is a film touching upon hot button topics. While it is obvious where Robert Rodriguez’s sympathies lie, you could hardly call it a politically charged movie. It is hard to take any accusations against the film seriously since the film hardly takes itself seriously. It is doubtful Machete will incite a race war with Mexicans riding into battle in lowriders armed with rocket launchers.

Rodriguez shares directing duties with editor Ethan Maniquis and both thoroughly maintain the picture’s over-the-top tone. Machete dispatches his foes in all manner of gruesome methods. Machete doesn’t just use his namesake weapon; he also utilizes surgical implements and gardening tools. In one scene, he repels down the side of a building using a man’s intestines. Machete isn’t just a fighter; he’s a lover too, bedding down nearly every beautiful lady he encounters. Rodriguez accentuates every love scene by breaking out the 70’s porno music.

Rodriguez and Maniquis know how to shoot action and they know hot to shoot their lovely starlets. Michelle Rodriguez looks particularly sultry with an eye patch and half t-shirt while firing off a double-barreled shotgun. Then, there’s Jessica Alba whose shapely figure is on display during a shower scene though the naughty bits have been strategically hidden.

After making a career of playing anonymous henchmen, Trejo finally gets his chance to shine and he doesn’t disappoint. He fits seamlessly into the lead role. He may not have matinee idol looks, but he has a ‘Don’t F—k with Me’ aura about him. The craggily face and the badass presence are definitely reminiscent of Charles Bronson and Lee Marvin. He’s a man of few words, speaking only in short, terse sentences. Don’t ever ask Machete to send you a text message either. ”Machete don’t text.”

With Trejo as his star, Rodriguez fills out the supporting cast with an eclectic assortment of actors. The oddball selection shouldn’t work, but it does as just about everyone plays their parts to a tee. Don Johnson’s cruel border guard is far removed from the pastel wearing Sonny Crockett and Jeff Fahey is wonderfully odious as the crooked Booth. DeNiro affects a Southern accent not too dissimilar to Max Cady from Cape Fear Many of the director’s usual players are also present in Machete including: Cheech Marin as a shotgun-toting priest, Tom Savini as a hired gun who offers his services with 1-800-HITMAN, and former Spy Kid Daryl Sabara as a wannabe cholo. Lindsay Lohan is cast in type as a drug-addled socialite, but doesn’t seem to understand the joke.

Much like Grindhouse, Machete uses artificial scratches on the film stock to give it that vintage feel. It also recycles several scenes originally shot for the trailer.

Described as ‘Mexploitation,’ Machete is pure ultraviolent schlock. It’s popcorn entertainment for R-rated audiences.

Rating: ***

Race to Witch Mountain

Race to Witch Mountain - Dir. Andy Fickman (2009)


Disney somehow manages to move forward by going backwards as they once again cannibalize their past. I watched the original Escape to Witch Mountain numerous times as it was constantly rerun on the Disney Channel. It hasn’t really stood up to the test of time. Maybe my tastes have grown more sophisticated over time. Race to Witch Mountain will appeal to the younger demographics today as the original did to the children of the 70’s. The original relied on easy contrivances and hokey special effects. The remake does exactly the same, but with a bigger budget.

Dwayne Johnson (no longer the Rock) is the manly named Jack Bruno, a former ex-con, now working as a cab driver in Vegas. After a run-in with the henchmen of his former boss, Jack finds a pair of siblings named Seth (Alexander Ludwig) and Sara (AnnaSophia Robb) who hand him a wad of cash and tell him to drive. Seth and Sara are aliens whose ship has crash landed in the Nevada desert. The former has telepathic and telekinetic powers while the latter has the ability to shift his molecular density. The two kids must retrieve an alien doohickey and return to their craft or their home planet will be destroyed and Earth will be invaded. There’s also an assassin called the Siphon that kills everything in its path to capture the children. Jack receives assistance from astrophysicist Dr. Alex Friedman (Carla Gugino). In an interesting note (one of the film’s few), Dr. Friedman is respected by neither her serious-minded colleagues who mock her beliefs in extraterrestrial life or UFO enthusiasts who only want to hear stories about anal probes and cattle mutilation.

The original film had the right idea in packing the supporting cast with veteran actors, such as Donald Pleasance and Eddie Albert, to lend some credibility to the goofiness around them. The remake does the same casting Ciaran Hinds as a humorless Man in Black, Garry Marshall as a renowned UFO expert, and Cheech in a thankless bit role as an auto mechanic. Kim Richards and Ike Eisenmann, who starred in the original, make cameo appearances as a waitress and small-town sheriff.

Johnson equates himself well in the role even if he’s not the most multi-faceted actor around. He’s likeable and charismatic, but not enough to carry the weak material.

Rating: * ½