Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame

Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame - Dir. Tsui Hark (2010)

Tsui Hark is widely regarded as the Steven Spielberg of Hong Kong cinema. As a writer, director, and producer, Hark has become one of the most prolific filmmakers in Asia. His directorial efforts include Once Upon a Time in China and Peking Opera Blues, two of the finest martial arts films ever made. As a producer, he has worked on some of John Woo's classics including A Better Tomorrow and The Killer. Hark has even spearheaded the use of Hollywood-style special effects with Zu Warriors from the Magic Mountain. Sadly, Hark's ill-fated attempt to break into Hollywood itself resulted in the abysmal Double Team starring Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dennis Rodman, a pairing no one wanted to see.

Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame is one of Hark's latest pictures, originally released in China in 2010 before receiving a limited run in the U.S. Shot on a budget of $20 million, Detective Dee is very much in the vein of Zu Warriors as it mixes traditional wuxia fight sequences with modern special effects.

Andy Lau stars as a fictional version of Di Renjie, an official during the Tang Dynasty, who became the protagonist in a series of detective novels by Dutch author Robert van Gulik. As portrayed by Lau, Dee is both a man of action and an analytical sleuth, much like Robert Downey Jr.'s Sherlock Holmes. The Mystery of the Phantom Flame is set in year 690AD as Wu Zeitan (Carina Lau) is about to be crowned Empress of China and the first female ruler. Her coronation is threatened when two high-ranking officials die of spontaneous combustion. These horrific and inexplicable deaths lead the Empress to reinstate Detective Dee, who has been exiled for speaking out against her. Not entirely trusting of Dee, the Empress teams him with one her most loyal handmaiden, Jing'er (Li Bingbing), and an albino officer named Donglai (Deng Chao).

Detective Dee features some spectacular visuals as Hark and his team have crafted a stylized recreation of ancient China. The highlight is a massive iron Buddha standing watch over the royal palace. The action choreography was done by Sammo Hung and the over-the-top fight scenes are reminiscent Ching Siu-Tung, who directed two Hark productions in The Swordsman and A Chinese Ghost Story. One of the film's coolest fights finds all three protagonists battling the mystical Imperial Chaplain in a spooky underground city. The robed Chaplain actually splits off his sleeves which are able to fight independently. There's also a thrilling sequence during the climax involving a series of pulleys and ropes that work as an early elevator.

Not all the fight scenes work. In the film's goofiest moment, Dee is forced to battle a pack of mind-controlled deer. Nothing like watching Andy Lau punch Bambi in the face to make your day. The deer also represent the movie's most poorly rendered CGI. When the killer's hapless victims burst into flame, their immolated bodies look fake as well.

The plot isn't exactly a tense and complex puzzle. The twists and turns in the story feel more like they were made up on the spot. By the time the third act rolls around, Detective Dee has descended into a series of confused revelations and hokey elements.

Andy Lau turns in a solid performance as Detective Dee though the role isn't too taxing on his acting skills. Both of the lovely starlets, Carina Lau and Li Bingbing, are good and aren't there as just eye candy. But, the best performance has to go to the other Tony Leung, Tony Leung Ka Fai (Election) as a former comrade of Dee's who is in charge of the Buddha construction.

Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame won't go down as one of Tsui Hark's masterpieces. It has a lot of the same shoddy special effects and nonsensical storytelling that made Legend of Zu such a mess. Yet, the unique action and strong cast might be enough to interest diehard Hong Kong action fans.

Rating: ** (*****)

The Debt

The Debt - Dir. John Madden (2011)

The Debt is a slick Hollywood remake of a little seen Israeli film called Ha-Hov, which was released in 2007. A throwback to the Cold War thrillers of the 1970’s, The Debt follows the lives of three Mossad agents on a secret mission to apprehend a Nazi war criminal.

In 1965, David Peretz (Sam Worthington) and Stephan Gold (Marton Csokas) are deep undercover in East Berlin and tasked by Mossad with finding the fugitive Dieter Vogel (Jesper Christensen), whose sadistic human experiments earned him infamy as “The Surgeon of Birkenau.” Learning that Vogel has been living in anonymity as a gynecologist, they are joined by Rachel Singer (Jessica Chastain), a young translator on her first field mission. Posing as David’s wife, Singer visits Vogel’s office to capture him, but their plan to spirit him into West Berlin goes awry. Now, the agents are forced to hold up in a rundown flat with their sadistic prisoner.

In 1997, David, Stephan, and Rachel are now played by Ciaran Hinds, Tom Wilkinson, and Helen Mirren. All three are heralded as national heroes, despite the obvious emotional fallout. Rachel is singled out for killing Vogel when he tried to escape custody. Stephan married and divorced Rachel while rising to a high-ranking position within Mossad. David, meanwhile, has been traveling off the grid for years. The trio is supposed to be reunited in honor of the publication of a book about the mission by Rachel’s daughter. The celebration comes to a screeching halt when David finally resurfaces only to commit suicide by stepping in front of a truck.

The narrative progresses between two parallel storylines set in two time periods. The mystery of what really happened on that ill-fated mission slowly unravels piece by piece thanks to the workmanlike direction from John Madden (Shakespeare in Love) and the script by Peter Straughan (Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy) and the team of Matthew Vaughn and Jane Goldman (Stardust, Kick-Ass). The early scenes set in East Berlin are fraught with tension, especially the uneasy moments where Rachel must be examined by a man obviously inspired by real-life Nazi butcher Josef Mengele. The tension rises during a tightly crafted sequence at a train stop where the protagonists attempt to smuggle their prey across the border. When that fails, they are forced to guard Vogel in their flat until a contingency plan is put together. There, Vogel plays mind games with the nervous agents, taunting them and the loved ones they lost in the Holocaust. Exacerbating the already edgy Israelis is the simmering love triangle revolving around Rachel, David, and Stephan. It's obvious a romance would happen with Rachel being the sole woman between two lonely men.

However, The Debt loses its way in the third act with a resolution that stinks of the studio demanding an ending that wraps everything up in a neat, little bow. These final moments lack the power that the rest of the film had.

Rather than utilizing copious amounts of makeup, the filmmakers cast two sets of actors to play the younger and older characters. On the plus side, we don't have to deal with unconvincing putty jobs like the recently released J. Edgar. The drawback is making sure the actors resemble one another. While Jessica Chastain could pass for Helen Mirren, their male counterparts don't match up quite right. Marton Csokas actually looks more like a young Ciaran Hinds than he does a young Tom Wilkinson who could pass for an older Sam Worthington if you squint your eyes just right. Still, each man gives a good performance though the film is largely commanded by Chastain and the ever-regal Mirren. The omnipresent Chastain has broken through this year with acclaimed turns in arthouse titles like The Tree of Life and Take Shelter as well as the highly successful The Help. The Debt features another winning performance from Chastain as the vulnerable Rachel with Mirren adding an extra layer of weariness for her scenes. Jesper Christensen, best known as Mr. White in Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace, really ups the creepy factor as the movie's sneering and remorseless villain.

The Debt almost feels like a comment on Jewish guilt and self-loathing. While it's doubtful that was anybody's intention, those themes feel like their bubbling underneath the surface. The Debt is a slightly pedestrian, but competently made thriller that stands in the shadow of Steven Spielberg's far superior Munich.

Rating: ** (*****)

The Muppets

The Muppets - Dir. James Bobin (2011)

It's time to play the music
It's time to light the lights
It's time to meet the Muppets
On the Muppet Show tonight.

When Jason Segel met with Disney executives about making a new Muppet movie, they thought he was joking. Segel's life-long love for the characters shined through in the Dracula-themed musical from Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Segel and Marshall director Nicholas Stoller co-wrote this revival of the franchise that attempts to introduce the Muppets to a whole new audience.

Gary (Segel) and his twin brother Walter (voiced by Peter Linz) have lived all their lives in the happy Midwest burg of Smalltown, USA. Never mind the fact that Gary is a human and Walter is a puppet. Gary and his girlfriend, Mary (Amy Adams), are planning a trip to Hollywood. The romantic trip for two becomes a three's a company situation when Gary invites diehard Muppet fan Walter along to see the Muppets Studio. They are saddened to see it has been abandoned and left in disrepair. Walter is even more shocked when he overhears evil tycoon Tex Richman plans to tear down it down and drill for oil.

Walter, Gary, and Mary convince Kermit the Frog to reunite the Muppets and put on a show in order to save the studio. No easy task as everyone has gone their separate ways. Miss Piggy is living in Paris as the editor-in-chief for the French edition of Vogue. Gonzo is a successful manufacturer of bathroom fixtures, Fozzie plays with a tribute band called the Moopets, and Animal is in anger management.

While Segel should be commended for ushering in the return of the Muppets, the movie does get sidetracked by the human characters played by him and Adams. Both tackle their roles with an endearing earnestness, but the movie is called The Muppets for a reason. The complications in the romance between Gary and Mary aren't nearly as interesting as the on-again/off-again love story between Kermit and Miss Piggy. At times, Walter feels like a bland fan-fiction character that's being forced on the public, but his innocent charm is all that saves him from being a major annoyance.

Nitpicks aside, The Muppets is a witty and joyous picture strengthened by infectious musical numbers and clever meta-textual humor. The characters break the fourth wall on numerous occasions with jokes about montages and traveling by map ala Indiana Jones. Segel and Stoller's screenplay pays service to older fans with several references to The Muppet Movie, such as Sweetums appearance at the car dealership and Kermit's "standard rich and famous" contract. Segel also utilizes all the popular Muppets like Rowlf, Dr. Teeth, and the Swedish Chef and even some of the obscure ones like Lew Zealand and Uncle Deadly.

The new music of The Muppets won't stand the test of time the way "Rainbow Connection" has, but they are energetic and irreverent thanks to the supervision of Bret McKenzie from Flight of the Conchords. Conchords' director James Bobin also helmed the film. The opening number, "Life's a Happy Song," sets the stage for the rest of the movie with its old-fashioned, Music Man-style feel. The soundtrack also features the forlorn "Pictures in My Head" and the disco flavored "Me Party" sung by Miss Piggy and the delightful Amy Adams. There's also the bizarre experience of watching Chris Cooper rap about his villainous scheme with "Let's Talk About Me." They are bolstered by Muppet infused covers like a barbershop take on "Smells Like Teen Spirit" and a version of Cee-Lo Green's "F*ck You" sung by chickens ("Cluck You?"). Without a doubt, the number the best song on the soundtrack is the existential ballad, "Man or Muppet?" with a surprise cameo that received a rousing reaction from my audience.

Speaking of cameos, in grand Muppet tradition, The Muppets is littered with cameos that include Mickey Rooney, Zach Galifianakis, Neil Patrick Harris, and Sarah Silverman with James Carville as the most random. Some of the better cameos were Alan Arkin as a sardonic tour guide, Dave Grohl as the Moopets' drummer, and Emily Blunt essentially reprising her role from The Devil Wears Prada. Even more cameos from folks like Lady Gaga, Danny Trejo, and Ricky Gervais were left on the cutting room floor.

Despite a few minor quibbles, The Muppets is one of the most joyous cinematic experiences of the year. After modern missteps like Muppets from Space and the made-for-TV The Muppets' Wizard of Oz, Segel's Muppets puts Jim Henson's beloved creations on the right track and hearkens back to the heyday of The Muppet Movie and The Muppets Take Manhattan.

Rating: *** (*****)

One Day

One Day - Dir. Lone Scherfig (2011)

Love stories don't always have happy endings. That's certainly true in movies as many tragic romances have gone down in cinematic history. Sometimes tragedy strikes as in the case of Love Story where a pining Ryan O'Neal falls head over heels for a terminally ill Ali McGraw. Then, there are films like Casablanca and Brief Encounter where the protagonists ultimately don't end up together. One Day is a little bit of both. Boy meets girl. They hem and haw for years and just when you think they might find happiness, it winds up being a conclusion a little more bittersweet than expected.

Novelist David Nicholls adapted the screenplay for One Day based on his 2009 novel of the same name. The story begins on July 15, 1988 during the graduation of Dexter Mayhew (Jim Sturgess) and Emma Morley (Anne Hathaway) from the University of Edinburgh. Dex is a smooth and handsome lad from a well-to-do family while Emma isn't quite as posh. She wears floral print dresses with black boots and completes the coffee house chic personality by listening to Tracy Chapman. She undoubtedly has Lisa Loeb and the Indigo Girls in her collection. Despite their differences, they spend the night together. While the attraction is obvious, Dex and Emma decide to remain friends. From then on, the film drops the audience into their lives on the anniversary of their first meeting.

As the years progress, the handsome Dex climbs the ladder of success as a famous television personality. When he's not interviewing celebrities, he's bedding a variety of vapid beauties. Meanwhile, Emma is stuck in a dead-end waitressing job at a Mexican restaurant and begins a relationship with the awkward Ian (Rafe Spall), a wannabe stand-up comic who isn't very funny. Time marches on and Dex's career begins crumbling as he falls deeper into his addictions to drug and alcohol. Meanwhile, Emma goes from being a teacher to living in France as a successful writer of children's books. During these scenes, Hathaway sports a short hairdo and a pair of big sunglasses that make her look like Audrey Hepburn. Throughout it all, Dex and Emma's friendship remains as turbulent as their personal lives as they hug and laugh then fight and cry.

Director Lone Scherfig is no stranger to love stories. Her debut picture, Italian for Beginners, is easily the most accessible entry in the Dogme 95 movement and her most successful work, An Education, probably won't get many viewings on Valentine's Day. Scherfig directs One Day with a sure hand and crafts a gorgeous looking movie with help from cinematographer Benoit Delhomme, who also shot The Proposition and Tsai Ming-liang's What Time Is It There? But, the impeccable visuals cannot cover up the lack of compelling characters and thin narrative.

The gimmick of the plot revolving around a specific day makes for an intriguing concept. It's one that has the potential to lift One Day above the treacle that the Hollywood rom-com machine generally churns out. However, the concept never amounts to anything significant and makes the entire effort feel like a warmed over When Harry Met Sally. Part of the problem is that there is never a clear obstacle in the way of their romance. Dex and Emma aren't separated by an insurmountable distance or societal morays. They just don't admit their feelings for one another. The longer this goes on, the more annoying they become and the less invested we become in seeing them get together.

Much has been made in other reviews about Anne Hathaway's British accent. It's stronger than the shakier attempts of Natalie Portman or Renee Zellweger, but it's not the least bit convincing. It is obvious Hathaway was chosen over an English actress for her marketability. Rafe Spall, the son of Timothy Spall, has some good moments as the sweet-natured and nebbish Ian. There are also good performances from Ken Stott and Patricia Clarkson as Dex's parents, even if they have limited screen time.

One Day may appeal to deeply romantic souls, but this cold-hearted critic found it to be a shallow and sappy experience. This is a film about pretty, yet empty-headed, people and filled with weak attempts at witty banter.

Rating: * ½ (*****)

Sarah's Key

Sarah's Key - Dir. Gilles Paquet-Brenner (2010)

Sarah's Key revolves around a little known atrocity committed during World War II known as the Vel d'Hiv Roundup. On July 16 and 17 of 1942, French police and officials of the Vichy government, under orders from the Nazi regime, enacted a mass arrest of over 13,000 Jews living in Paris. Most of them were women and children. These Jews were initially interred at the Vel d'Hiv stadium without the use of bathrooms and under tremendous heat as all windows were blocked to prevent escape. Nearly two-thirds of the prisoners were eventually sent to Auschwitz. Sarah's Key, an adaptation of the best-selling novel by Tatiana de Rosnay, serves as a reminder of these tragic events and their lasting effects on the France of today. Much like The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas, it looks at the Holocaust through a child's point-of-view.

Kristin Scott Thomas stars as Julia Jarmond, an American journalist living in Paris with her French husband, Bertrand Tezac (Frederic Pierrot). She learns that the apartment her in-laws have owned for decades came into their possession soon after the Vel d'Hiv Roundup. She sets out to discover how the Tezacs got the place and who the tenants were before them. Julia's investigations uncover the harrowing story of a young girl named Sarah Starzynski (Mélusine Mayance).

In 1942, the police take Sarah and her family into custody. In a panic, Sarah locks her little brother, Michele (Paul Mercier), in a hidden closet and tells him to stay there until she comes back. Sarah and her parents are sent first to Vel d'Hiv then to a deportation camp in Beaune-la-Rolande where the adults and children are separated. Sarah manages to escape thanks to a sympathetic police officer and seeks refuge with an elderly couple in the countryside. All the while she is desperate to return to Paris to rescue Michele.

The two stories of Sarah and Julia run parallel to each other, but neither meshes with the other. Sarah's portion of the film stands as its most effective thanks to the heartbreaking performances by Mélusine Mayance and Charlotte Poutrel, who plays the adult Sarah. While Kristin Scott Thomas gives a strong performance, her segments come off as preachy and hollow. Julia's search for the truth about Sarah is meant to symbolize the impact of the Roundup. Many are unaware of the events, others warn her not to stir things up, and a few react with angry denial. One coworker is quick to condemn those that stood by to which Julia refutes with "What would you have done?"

In addition, Julia discovers she is pregnant and must decide if she should to keep the baby when her husband staunchly declares he doesn't want it. To really drive the point him, director Gilles Paquet-Brenner dissolves from an overhead shot of Sarah lying in a fetal position to a newly pregnant Julia. Brenner also tries too hard with the score as ominous music blares to the hilt as detainees are herded off a bus.

The two time periods of Sarah's Key don't always gel together and Julia's world of trendy magazine offices and iPhones feels trivial next to the plight of Sarah. Still, it's a fine film that tugs at the heart strings, despite mistakenly tackling its subject matter with a clinical and didactic approach.

Rating: ** (*****)

Hugo

Hugo - Dir. Martin Scorsese (2011)

Martin Scorsese has become synonymous with crime films and gritty urban dramas. When he has ventured outside his wheelhouse, it was to make pictures like The Age of Innocence or The Last Temptation of Christ. Needless to say, Scorsese is one of the last names you’d expect to direct a children’s movie, let alone one shot in 3D. But, he does just that with Hugo, based on the illustrated novel, The Invention of Hugo Cabret, by Brian Selznick.

Set in post-WWI Paris, the film follows an orphaned boy named Hugo (Asa Butterfield), whose father (Jude Law) died in a museum fire. Hugo was sent to live with his alcoholic uncle (Ray Winstone), who worked at the Montparnasse train station. There, Hugo was taught how to maintain the clocks until his uncle’s disappearance. On his own, he survives by stealing food and avoiding the Station Inspector (Sacha Baron Cohen). One of Hugo’s few possessions is a mechanical man left abandoned in his father’s museum, which they attempted to restore before his death. It has the ability to write and once repaired, Hugo hopes it will lead to some message from his dad. In order to do so, he steals parts from a toy store run by a man referred to by his granddaughter Isabelle (Chloe Grace Moretz) as Papa George (Ben Kingsley).

Spoiler alert.

I knew almost nothing about Hugo aside from a trailer depicting a boy living in a train station where something vaguely magical happens. That is where the film seems to head in the first act until Hugo learns Papa George is actually Georges Méliès. The former stage magician saw the potential in this newfangled contraption known as the movie camera. Méliès was the first to create elaborate sets and special effects in his pictures. He was the first to make fantasy and sci-fi movies. Méliès could even be considered one of the earliest victims of piracy as Thomas Edison exhibited his most famous film, A Trip to the Moon, in the States without giving Méliès a dime. Méliès made close to 500 silent pictures, but the majority has been lost over time. As depicted in Hugo, his studio eventually went bankrupt and most of his film reels were recycled into boot heels. The real-life Méliès really did work as a toy salesman in the Montparnasse station though he never met an ingenuous boy. Together, they forge an unlikely friendship as kindred souls lost in the clockwork machinery of a modernizing society.

Hugo acts as a love letter to early cinema and an impassioned plea for film preservation. Isabelle, who has never seen a movie, is introduced to the medium by Hugo with wide-eyed wonder. Together, they learn everything they can about Papa George and try to repair fix his broken spirit as Hugo has been doing with his automaton. Through Hugo and Isabelle, Scorsese looks to introduce a new audience to silent film. He makes sure to sprinkle in plenty of references to many of the most renowned works, such as Harold Lloyd's famous clock hanging sequence from Safety Last. This is when Hugo really shines, but it takes a while to get there. With a runtime of over two hours, Hugo is about twenty minutes too long with a first half that is meandering and unsure.

The train station becomes Hugo's movie screen as he observes the lives of the other workers in the station, such as the awkward flirtations between an elderly couple played by Richard Griffiths and Frances de la Tour as well as the one between the Inspector and a flower girl (Emily Mortimer). This is when Hugo gets bogged down with subplots that don't really add anything to the overall narrative. The Inspector himself is portrayed alternately as a foreboding villain and bumbling comic relief. Though he's played wonderfully by Sacha Baron Cohen, Scorsese never strikes the right tone for the character. Scorsese may have mastered many aspects of filmmaking, but physical comedy isn't one of them and most of the slapstick gags and wacky chases fall flat.

Visually, Hugo is nothing short of a masterpiece. Scorsese has immaculately crafted the world of Hugo with long-time collaborators like cinematographer Robert Richardson, editor Thelma Schoonmaker, and production designer Dante Ferretti. Scorsese's vision is so detailed that he even throws in background cameos by actors resembling James Joyce and Django Reinhardt. The movie's opening tracking shot that glides through the station platform and inside the clock tower will immediately bring to mind the iconic tracking shot from Goodfellas. Scorsese also makes better use of the 3D process than any other film aside from Coraline or Cave of Forgotten Dreams, even if it isn't essential to tell the story. He has created an immersive environment with a clear range and depth of field while adding a sense of wonder to all the moving gears and machinery. Even some of the subtler moments are given a little extra oomph thanks to the 3D, such as a sequence in which Sacha Baron Cohen's enormous head emerges from the screen to symbolize how the Inspector has grown a new awareness of the happenings around him. There's also something very strange about watching A Trip to the Moon in 3D.

Chloe Grace Moretz adds another fine performance to her resume as Isabelle and she often overshadows Asa Butterfield as the titular lead. The adults are all great with Emily Mortimer, Christopher Lee, and Michael Stuhlbarg as a film historian (and Scorsese's stand-in) all rounding out the excellent ensemble. However, the film lives and dies by the commanding and heartfelt performances from Ben Kingsley as Georges Méliès and Helen McCrory (better known as Narcissa Malfoy) as his wife Jeanne.

Hugo has received glowing reviews from many critics. Unfortunately, I don't share the same love for the film, which I found to be moving, yet uneven and overlong. As a tribute to silent cinema, Hugo, might have appeal more to adults and cinephiles than children.

Rating: ** ½ (*****)

Spy Kids: All the Time in the World

Spy Kids: All the Time in the World - Dir. Robert Rodriguez (2011)

Robert Rodriguez has made his name as an innovative and visually inventive director in the action genre. He exploded onto the scene with the ultra-low budget El Mariachi before moving on to blockbusters like Desperado, From Dusk Till Dawn, and Sin City. In between his R-rated pictures, Rodriguez has helmed the kid-friendly series of Spy Kids movies. It's not too surprising considering Rodriguez is the father of five boys.

It made sense that the third movie, Spy Kids: Game Over, would launch the franchise into 3D. Eight years later, the fourth entry, Spy Kids: All the Time in the World was advertised as being presented in 4D. Time is considered to be the fourth dimension and while it plays a large role in the film, the 4D also referred to Aroma-Scope, Rodriguez's attempt to bring back Smell-O-Vision. Audience members were given scratch 'n' sniff cards, along with their 3D glasses, which gave them a whiff of scents like bubblegum, bacon, and chocolate. Perhaps, Spy Kids 5D will see the return of William Castle's "Tingler" gimmick where theaters are equipped with electrified seats. The following review is for the plain, old 2D version of Spy Kids.

Jessica Alba stars as Marissa Wilson, the top agent for the OSS, the Organization of Super-Spies. In her final mission before retirement, Marissa tracks down and captures Tick Tock, a villain who uses weapons that can temporarily freeze people in time. Why is she retiring? Because she's nine months pregnant and goes into labor while battling Tick Tock's henchmen. Rodriguez was inspired to make the movie after watching Alba change diapers on the set of Machete.

Marissa faces all new challenges as a happy homemaker. Her husband, Wilbur (Joel McHale), spends all his time working on his new reality show, Spy Hunters, where he fruitlessly searches for spies hiding in society. Her step-children, Rebecca (Rowan Blanchard) and Cecil (Mason Cook), can't stand her and are always pulling messy pranks on her.

Marissa is called back into action by her superior, Danger D'Amo (Jeremy Piven), when a new supervillain known as the Timekeeper begins stealing time. This causes the days to flow faster than normal. The Timekeeper's next move is to activate the Armageddon Device and the only thing that can stop it is a gem called the Chrono Sapphire. As it turns out, Marissa gave it to Rebecca as a gift. Thus, the kids are dragged into the mission and teamed with the original Spy Kids, Carmen (Alexa Vega) and Juni (Daryl Sabara), who are all grown up. They receive help from a robotic attack dog named Argonaut (voiced by Ricky Gervais).

Spy Kids unfolds at a fast and furious pace, which is perfect for anyone who might have the attention span of a goldfish. It's a cinematic sugar rush; all candy colored and powered by hefty amounts of caffeinated cola. The youngsters will be entertained, but older folks might get a headache. The plot doesn't make a lick of sense and is bogged down by blunt messages about the importance of family. There's a disturbing amount of scatological humor with jokes about dog poop and farts. The heroes also incapacitate the bad guys with a dirty diaper and a bag of vomit. Joel McHale and Ricky Gervais are talented comedians, but neither man is given strong enough material to elicit even a modest chuckle. All the Time in the World also could have used the presence of past stars like Carla Gugino, Cheech Marin, and Danny Trejo (who only appears in a quick one scene cameo).

It's ironic that the theme of Spy Kids: All the Time in the World is about living in the present and not dwelling on the past. The Weinstein Company has been cannibalizing their own past in an effort to resurrect their successful franchises to grab some quick cash. I don't know if anyone was truly clamoring for another Spy Kids movie and after watching this latest one, it's doubtful their minds were changed. All the Time in the World is the definition of junk food cinema, a movie lacking in substance and not at all healthy for consumption.

Rating: * ½ (*****)

Beginners

Beginners - Dir. Mike Mills (2011)

Beginners is a semi-autobiographical film from writer/director Mike Mills and based on his experiences with his father, who came out as a gay man at the age of 75 before dying of cancer five years later.

Standing in for Mills is Ewan McGregor, who stars as Oliver Fields, a graphic designer still coming to grips with the death of his father, Hal (Christopher Plummer). Oliver's parents entered into a marriage of convenience in the 1950's with Hal as a closeted homosexual and his wife, Georgia (Mary Kay Keller), a Jew. Both maintained appearances in order to move about in high society. They stayed together for nearly fifty years until Georgia's death. Five months later, Hal reveals to his son that he is gay and finds a renewed zest for life. Hal embraces gay culture by going clubbing, starting letter campaigns in support of gay-friendly politicians, and hosting movie nights where they watch The Times of Harvey Milk.

Beginners is told through three points in time. We see flashbacks to Oliver's unique childhood with his free-spirited mother as well as his relationship with his father as he battles terminal cancer. In the present, a melancholy Oliver falls in love with a beautiful French actress named Anna (Mélanie Laurent). The two meet in the cutest of all meet cutes. Oliver dresses as Sigmund Freud for a Halloween party where he dispenses in-character advice to other party-goers. Anna, dressed as communist spy Julius Rosenberg, lays on the couch next and communicates entirely through a notepad due to a case of laryngitis.

On a surface level, Beginners has all the quirky trappings of hipster cinema. Oliver and Anna engage in French New Wave inspired dates that involve roller skating through the lobby of a ritzy hotel and creating graffiti art during the late hours of the night. When Oliver learns his dad has a tumor in his lungs the size of a quarter, Mills cuts to a quarter followed by twenty five cents worth of pennies, nickels, and dimes. Oliver also inherits Hal's dog, a scruffy little Jack Russell terrier named Arthur, who communicates through subtitles like "I can understand up to 150 words, but I can't talk." Mills pushes the boundaries into being self-consciously cool from time to time. However, Beginners has a genuine soul not found in its insufferably twee brethren. The films of Mills' wife, Miranda July, come to mind.

Beginners finds a delicate balance between sorrow and joy. While some scenes could only happen in a movie, the dialogue is sharp and never feels phony. The performances from the lead actors are wonderful with Ewan McGregor headlining the movie with an understated turn. Mélanie Laurent brings a graceful beauty and soulfulness to her character and never devolves into the archetype of manic pixie dream girl. Christopher Plummer will likely earn an Oscar nomination for his whimsical performance as Oliver's elderly father.

Rating: *** (*****)

Larry Crowne

Larry Crowne - Dir. Tom Hanks (2011)

Tom Hanks has earned his reputation as an all-around nice guy and one of the most likeable actors in Hollywood. Hanks brings every ounce of that likeability for Larry Crowne, which marks his second film as a director following his debut behind the camera with 1996's That Thing You Do!

Hanks stars as the titular Larry Crowne, a mid-level employee for U-Mart, a big-box retailer resembling Target. Larry enlisted in the Navy straight out of high school and never went to college. This lack of higher education is cited as the primary reason for his lack of promotion into upper management. Since he can no longer advance any further, U-Mart executives decide to fire him despite years of exemplar service.

Larry finds himself in an all too familiar situation as a divorced, middle-aged man who is now unemployed and saddled with a mortgage he can no longer afford. Left with few options, Larry decides to enroll in community college. Thus begins a series of life-changing events for our affable protagonist.

First, he trades in his gas-guzzling SUV for a sporty scooter and befriends the cute and free-spirited Talia (Gugu Mbatha-Raw), who renames him "Lance Corona" and recruits him into her scooter gang. She even gives Larry a makeover, giving him a new hairdo and ditching his dorky polo shirts for a hip leather jacket. Next, Larry signs up for a morning class on informal speaking taught by the disillusioned Mercedes Tainot (Julia Roberts). Not only has she lost her passion for academia, but she also deals with a husband (Bryan Cranston), who considers posting on internet message boards as creating a beachhead in new media. He also surfs for porn, but since this is a PG-13 movie, the women are fully clothed.

In addition to directing, producing, and starring in Larry Crowne, Tom Hanks co-wrote the script with Nia Vardalos, whose My Big Fat Greek Wedding was championed by Hanks and wife Rita Wilson. Vardalos has yet to recapture the same success and the middling response to the clichéd Larry Crowne won't change that. The way in which the film offers sitcom solutions to complex issues borders on condescension. Is a degree from a community college really going to protect someone from the economic downturn? I know people with Master's degrees who are still having a rough time in the job market. How does Larry Crowne still manage to stay afloat in Los Angeles while working as a part-time short order cook? Sometimes Crowne comes off more as a man going through a mid-life crisis when he's wearing a leather jacket and wallet chain.

Larry Crowne was released the same weekend as Transformers: Dark of the Moon. It certainly serves its purpose as counter-programming to the hordes of loud, effects heavy blockbusters. Hanks and Roberts (who gets more beautiful with age) have a winning chemistry together and there are some fun performances from Taraji P. Henson and Rami Malek as an annoyingly dim classmate. Without a doubt, the best thing in the movie is George Takei as an eccentric economics professor. The boisterous Takei steals every one of his scenes. I wouldn't want to see Larry Crowne 2, but I'd readily shell out twelve bucks to see a spin-off starring the former Mr. Sulu.

It's obvious Larry Crowne was meant as a soothing salve on the gaping wounds caused by the financial collapse with Hanks serving as a modern day Frank Capra or Preston Sturges. Sadly, Hanks is unable to capture the heart and wit of those cinematic masters. It is simply populist pabulum with a tone as affable and easy-going as its leading man.

Rating: ** (*****)

13

13 - Dir. Géla Babluani (2011)

Remakes happen all the time. On occasion, those remakes will be helmed by the director of the original movie. Cecil B. DeMille first made The Ten Commandments as a silent film in 1923 before his more iconic version in 1956 with Charlton Heston. Alfred Hitchcock did the same with The Man Who Knew Too Much, which he originally directed in 1934 then remade in 1956 as well. Both directors were more experienced and polished the second time around and the remakes have become more renowned than their predecessors. Those may be exceptions to the rule. More often than not, the remake is considered a lesser picture compared to the original. Michael Haneke's Funny Games is a prime example though I'm not a fan of either version. The Pang Brothers' Bangkok Dangerous, which featured the unique concept of a hitman who was deaf. For the American remake starring Nicolas Cage, the lead was no longer deaf and the results were met with derision. This brings us to 13, a remake of 13 Tzameti, both of which were directed by Georgian-French filmmaker Géla Babluani.

Vince Ferro (Sam Riley) is an electrician whose family is drowning in debt. They are unable to make mortgage payments on their home and Vince's father requires expensive medical care. He overhears his employer discuss a lucrative opportunity after receiving a mysterious envelope. When said employer overdoses on heroin, Vince steals the letter and follows the byzantine instructions while unknowingly eluding the police.

Vince is taken to a ritzy mansion in the countryside and is shocked to learn he has become a participant (number 13) in a high stakes game of Russian roulette. The contestants are given a single bullet then stand in a circle and forced to aim a gun at the back of the next man's head. The survivors are given one more bullet with each successive round. The final round is a face to face duel between the last men standing. All the while, gangsters and wealthy ne'er do wells bet millions of dollars on who will live and die.

The majority of the competitors remain anonymous, but the narrative does delve into the back stories of two others. Mickey Rourke plays Jefferson, an American locked up in a Mexican prison after a heist who is shanghaied into the game. Ray Winstone is Ronald, who won last year's tournament and is checked out of a mental hospital by his brother, Jasper (Jason Statham).

Released in 2005, the original 13 was a minimalist noir shot in stark black and white. Babluani's film was a prescient parable about the wealthy elite exploiting the middle and lower classes. His remake is little more than empty imitation. For a movie where the stakes are life and death, 13 surprisingly lacks any tension. The original had a genuine sense of claustrophobia and you could almost smell the sweat on the brows of the players. Here, you just want the movie to hurry up and get on with it. Meanwhile, the histories of Jefferson and Ronald are dropped clumsily into the story. While Ronald and Jasper play relevant roles in the third act, Jefferson's didn't even need to be there.

13 has a stellar cast in its favor. Sam Riley, who was impressive as doomed Joy Division frontman Ian Curtis in Control, gives a strong performance as Vince. There are also solid turns from Rourke, Winston, Jason Statham, Michael Shannon as the emcee, Ben Gazzara as a dapper gambler, Alexander Skarsgard as Vince's handler, and David Zayas as a police detective. The worst performance, however, comes from rapper Curtis "50 Cent' Jackson, who might want to spend some money on acting lessons after his embarrassingly wooden turn here.

Despite an ensemble cast of name actors, 13 sat on the shelves for over a year before being released directly to video. 13 isn't so much a bad movie as it is a bland one where everyone involved seem to be going through the motions.

Rating: * ½ (*****)