A Haunted House 2

A Haunted House 2 – Dir. Michael Tiddes (2014)

It's the sequel to a movie nobody asked for in the first place.

Marlon Wayans and his many brothers kicked off the Scary Movie franchise, which parodied horror movies using Scream as its spine. They departed from the series after the second movie. In 2013, Wayans struck out on his own with A Haunted House, a parody of the found footage genre, specifically Paranormal Activity. Despite being ravaged by critics, the film earned $60 million worldwide off a modest budget of #$2.5 million. If you know Hollywood, you know they'll jump on anything that makes a modicum of money. Hence, we have the inexplicable existence of A Haunted House 2.

For those of you who missed the original picture, Malcolm Johnson (Wayans) moves into a new home with his girlfriend Kisha Davis (Essence Atkins) only for the loving couple to suffer a string of supernatural phenomena. Part 2 begins right where they left off with Malcolm and his cousin Ray-Ray (Affion Crockett) attempting to drive a possessed Kisha to the hospital. They are struck by a passing vehicle and flee the scene leaving behind the unresponsive Kisha.

One year later, Malcolm has a new wife and a new house. He is now married to Megan (Jaime Pressly) and serves as stepfather to her two children, Becky (Ashley Rickards) and Wyatt (Steele Stebbins). Becky, like most teenage girls, is sullen and disrespectful to her mom's new husband. Wyatt is an odd boy who speaks to an invisible friend named Tony just as Danny did in The Shining. Only in this case, Wyatt's Tony is black and enjoys profanity and vodka.

Malcolm finds that Wyatt's behavior isn't the only thing strange going on in his life. The previous homeowners left behind a few objects including a creepy doll named Abigail, some disturbing reels of 16mm film, and a smelly antique box that fascinates Becky. Malcolm quickly discovers that the evil that plagued him before has followed him.

Wayans once again assumes multiple duties as star, co-writer, and producer for A Haunted House 2. He barely had enough material for one movie, let alone two. Wayans relies almost entirely on lazy references to recent horror flicks such as The Conjuring, The Possession, The Last Exorcism, and Sinister. The rest of his jokes usually involve racial stereotypes and name dropping celebrities (the Kardashians, Kanye West, etc.). Wayans blatantly pads out the running time by prolonging his already unfunny gags. The sight of a bare-assed Wayans having intercourse with the doll will be burned into your memory as the scene is stretching beyond any reasonable length. The joke continues to draw zero guffaws when the doll begins sending Malcolm gross selfies on his phone.

The sequel does have a stronger supporting cast than its predecessor, which makes it all the more disappointing when the film does nothing with them. Jaime Pressly can be very funny as evidenced by her time on My Name is Earl, but her character is rendered as nothing more than as an emasculating harpy. At least, she's gorgeous to look at. Cedric the Entertainer returns as the volatile Father Doug with Gabriel Iglesias as Malcolm's neighbor. Both are talented comedians who fail to inject humor in the puerile material. Hayes MacArthur and Missi Pyle are equally wasted as paranormal investigators modeled after Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga in The Conjuring. Wayans himself simply mugs for the camera, screeching and yammering every chance he gets. The only actor in the movie to garner an iota of amusement is Rick Overton as a paranormal scholar who cooks meth on the side.

Rating: * (*****)