Couples Retreat seems to have the making of a decent movie: a stellar cast, beautiful locales, and a script co-written by the guys who did Swingers. Instead, it winds up being a crashing bore.
Jason Bateman and Kristen Bell are an anal-retentive couple of yuppies who are having marriage troubles due to their inability to have a child. They discover a high-class, tropical retreat and convince their friends to attend so they can get a cheaper group rate. Everyone thinks it will be an extended vacation, but the maître d', Sctanley (Peter Serafinowicz), with a silent C, insists they all must participate in therapy sessions. Vince Vaughn and Malin Akerman are in a seemingly happy marriage, but cracks begin to form during counseling. Jon Favreau and Kristin Davis are the jock and cheerleader, high school sweethearts who married too early. Both spend more time hitting on other people than with each other. Faizon Love is recently divorced and overcompensates by dating a much younger woman (Kali Hawk) he can't keep up with.
Couples Retreat could have been an interesting piece about how the twentysomethings from Swingers deal with being fortysomething and married. Instead, it's toothless comedy mass marketed and test audienced until it becomes an innocuously bland lump. The script was co-written by Favreau and Vaughn (along with Dana Fox, What Happens in Vegas), but it has none of the bite of Swingers or Made. Vaughn sleepwalks through the movie using his stale wiseacre act as he tosses unfunny quips right and left. Jean Reno is reduced to being guy with a funny accent as the island's New Age guru. The movie can't even manage to elicit a subdued chuckle with Ken Jeong and John Michael Higgins as officious therapists.
The film's biggest and showiest set piece involves Vaughn challenging Sctanley to a round of Guitar Hero. References to the game were already dated before the movie was even released. That comes after we've already seen Favreau pop a boner and try to coax a happy ending out of his masseuse. There's also a running gag with Vaughn's son obliviously taking a dump in the show toilet of an IKEA. Yes, jokes about poop and masturbation and not even good ones to boot.
Shot on location in Bora Bora, Couples Retreat likely attracted an A-list cast who were mainly interested in getting a paid vacation. Outside of Kristin Davis in a bikini, there's nothing worthwhile to be found. The best thing I can say about the movie is that it was directed by Ralphie from A Christmas Story.
Rating: *
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