Safe

Safe - Dir. Boaz Yakin (2012)

"You got some balls, Luke."

"Yeah, amazing I can even walk."

If you want to get me to fork over my ticket money, all you need are two simple words: Jason Statham. The British butt kicker isn't a classically trained Shakespearean thespian, but he does possess a strong screen presence that makes him one of few actors capable of being a top action star. Safe is the latest entry in Statham's oeuvre, a gritty action flick set in the New York underworld. Safe was written and directed by Boaz Yakin, whose diverse previous efforts as director have been Remember the Titans and Uptown Girls. His writing credits include Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights, Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, and The Punisher. Not the Thomas Jane one, but the Dolph Lundgren version from 1989. That last picture is probably the closest in tone to Safe.

Statham plays Luke Wright, a homeless bum who was once an MMA fighter and before that a top cop in the NYPD. His life has gone downhill ever since the Russian mob murdered his wife after botching a fixed fight. Things change when Luke spots his wife's killer as they pursue a young girl named Mei (Catherine Chan) through the subway. Mei is a math prodigy grabbed off the streets of China by the Triads and put to work as a human computer for Han Jiao (James Hong). Mei and Luke are eventually embroiled in a turf war between the Chinese and the Russians, both of whom are after a coded sequence the girl has memorized, which will lead to a hidden cache of money. There's also a team of crooked police detectives, former comrades of Luke's with connections to the mayor (Chris Sarandon), looking to cash in as well. Luke pulls a Yojimbo and attempts to play all three sides in an effort to protect Mei and redeem himself.

If you've seen one Jason Statham movie, you've seen them all. Safe doesn't do much to distinguish itself from The Mechanic, Killer Elite, or any of the Transporter movies. The only surprising element in Safe is the fact that former Devo frontman Mark Mothersbaugh composed the score. Yakin isn't a spectacular action director, but he doesn't lean on the shaky camera and quick editing that the majority of American directors overuse. Yakin devotes the first half hour of Safe for the setup, taking his time to introduce a plethora of characters and subplots. Front loading the movie turns out to be a shrewd choice as it saves all the mayhem for the second and third acts. For nearly an hour, Statham embarks on a path of righteous fury, engaging in violent shootouts and fisticuffs. There's a close combat fight sequence on a subway train and chaotic carnage at a trendy restaurant with Statham suplexing a man through a table.

The relationship between Luke and Mei borrows a little from Luc Besson's Leon though Catherine Chan is no Natalie Portman. Safe has more in common with the current crop of action flicks churned out by the Besson machine with its leaden dialogue and by-the-numbers plot. If not for Jason Statham, Safe would have been relegated to forgettable, direct-to-video status.

Rating: ** ½ (*****)

The Tourist

The Tourist - Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck (2010)

The Tourist is the kind of film that Hollywood used to make decades ago. This is the kind of film reserved for stars like Cary Grant, Tony Curtis, Audrey Hepburn, and Grace Kelly. It's all about beautiful people doing beautiful things in beautiful places. A remake of the French film, Anthony Zimmer, The Tourist has the makings of a surefire with Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie in the lead. The director is Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck whose previous picture, the sublime Lives of Others, won an Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film in 2006. Donnersmarck was one of three credited writers along with Christopher McQuarrie and Julian Fellowes, both are also Oscar winners, the former for The Usual Suspects and the latter for Gosford Park. Surprisingly, the A-list cast and high caliber creative team hardly delivers the masterpiece one would expect.

Johnny Depp plays the vacationing Frank Tupelo, an unassuming math teacher from Wisconsin. That's going to take a while to sink into your head because I doubt there are many math teachers out there who look like Johnny Depp. Hell, I doubt there is anybody from Wisconsin who looks like Johnny Depp. Anyways, while riding the train to Venice, Frank meets the exceedingly gorgeous and glamorous Elise (Jolie). Despite the enormous gap in social strata, they hit it off and Elise asks Frank to tag along as she rides the canals to her ritzy hotel. Unbeknownst to Frank, Elise is the lover of an international fugitive by the name of Alexander Pearce whose face is unknown due to extensive plastic surgery. Scotland Yard has been after Pearce and so has a notorious gangster named Reginald Shaw (Steven Berkoff). To throw his adversaries off the trail, Pearce tells Elise to pick some fool to act as a decoy. This leads to poor Frank (in his pajamas) being chased across the rooftops of Venice by gun-toting thugs.

The main cast also includes Paul Bettany as a dogged Inspector on Pearce's trail, Timothy Dalton as his supervisor, and Rufus Sewell as a mysterious fellow following Frank and Elise.

Johnny Depp has proven to be an incredibly versatile actor with his best roles being his most eccentric. Jack Sparrow, Ed Wood, Willy Wonka, and Sweeney Todd are all outlandish characters that Depp has brought his own flair to. Here, Depp is simply called upon to play it as low-key as possible, perhaps, a little too low-key. He alternately appears bored and downright narcoleptic. The strongest emotion Depp summons is annoyed bemusement. Jolie is given an equally undemanding role, one where all she has to do is look good in a slinky dress with her lips painted red. Donnersmarck takes every opportunity to shoot Jolie against the exotic Italian locales. Meanwhile, Steven Berkoff steals the movie right from under his more well-known co-stars. Berkoff will probably be remembered as the villain with a funny accent in just about every 80's action movie. Think Octopussy, Beverly Hills Cop (Victor Maitland~!), and Rambo: First Blood, Part II. Surprise, surprise, Berkoff once again plays the villain with a funny accent. He's a special brand of evil, a guy who surrounds himself with hard-ass Russian henchmen and strangles a man while getting a suit tailored.

The Tourist is a lightweight romp that recalls classic pictures like William Wyler's Roman Holiday, and Stanley Donen's Charade. On the surface, it resembles Hitchcock's North by Northwest and To Catch a Thief with its globe-trotting adventure of mistaken identity. However, The Tourist has none of the suspense and rests far too much on the shoulders of its stars. A predictable last minute twist doesn't make a lick of sense if you think about it for more than ten seconds.

Rating: ** (*****)