Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter - Dir. Timur Bekmambetov (2012)

Four score and seven ass kickings ago...

It says a lot about our education system when young children aren't taught pivotal moments in history such as when Abraham Lincoln killed all those vampires to end the Civil War or the time Adolf Hitler was gunned down by the guy who directed Hostel.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter was conceived by Seth Grahame-Smith, who started a new literary mash-up trend with the hit novel Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. There, Grahame-Smith re-conceived the Bennett Sisters as a skilled fighting force against the undead. The book was quickly optioned by Lionsgate though it has been mired in development hell. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter made it to the screen first thanks to the involvement of Tim Burton and Timur Bekmambetov with the relatively unknown Benjamin Walker cast in the title role.

The film begins with Abe as a child witnessing his father protect he and his friend William Johnson from the whip of a vicious plantation owner named Jack Barts (Marton Csokas). It turns out Barts is a vampire and kills Nancy Lincoln (Robin McLeavy) in revenge. As an adult, Lincoln hunts Barts down, but is ill-prepared for his supernatural strength. He is saved from death by Henry Sturgess (Dominic Cooper), a benevolent vampire who makes Lincoln his axe-wielding apprentice. During his training, our 16^th President learns that the vampires have flourished in the South with slaves serving as a veritable smorgasbord. He ultimately decides to use a weapon even more powerful than silver or holy water…politics.

The appeal of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter isn't just seeing Lincoln dismember bloodsucking fiends, but the way in which it weaves fantastical elements with actual historical facts. Some of the most important figures in Lincoln's life are presented in fictionalized fashion. In Springfield, Illinois, Lincoln works in the general store of Joshua Speed (Jimmi Simpson) and is reunited with his childhood buddy William Johnson (Anthony Mackie). Both become his staunchest allies while campaigning and fighting vampires. He also falls in love with future wife, Mary Todd (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), despite Sturgess's warnings against personal relationships. Even Jefferson Davis (John Rothman) and Harriet Tubman (Jacqueline Fleming) figure into the narrative. Sadly, Lincoln's famous debates with Stephen Douglas (Alan Tudyk) are given only a fleeting amount of screen time. And it is at this point that the movie starts to die a slow and painfully boring death.

Grahame-Smith may be a talented novelist, but he has yet to display any consistency in his screenwriting endeavors. He impressed Burton enough to get writing duties on Dark Shadows and a possible Beetlejuice sequel. However, Dark Shadows was a box office flop that struggled to adapt a soap opera structure to a feature film. Grahame-Smith has the same problems translating his book. The middle section sags with a distinct lack of action and the overall tone is far too morbid for what should have been a campy cult classic. A few changes to the vampire mythology work well. The vampires' weakness to silver is tied into the 30 pieces of silver paid to Judas. One element that doesn't make a lot of sense is the fact that vampires cannot kill their own kind. It's a flimsy explanation for why Sturgess would take on Lincoln as a pupil when it didn't really need any explanation at all. Perhaps, the biggest problem with the movie is its tacky retconning of the Emancipation Proclamation. You see, President Lincoln didn't free the slaves out of an altruistic belief that all human beings deserve the basic right of freedom. It was to cut off the vampires' food supply.

Bekmambetov is no stranger to directing gothic, over-the-top action films having previously helmed Night Watch and Wanted. The set pieces here are underwhelming with such liberal use of slow motion that Zack Snyder would even scoff. Only two sequences make any impression. One features a Lion King-esque stampede in which Barts throws an entire horse at Lincoln. The final act sees Lincoln and friends battling an army of vampires on board a train racing towards a burning bridge. The visual look of the film leaves much to be desired and likely falls on the shoulders of post-production rather than cinematographer Caleb Deschanel. The colors are de-saturated and there's a murkiness to the night scenes that makes the 3D version an absolutely avoidable.

This isn't the first time Benjamin Walker has portrayed a radical interpretation of a former president. He starred in the Broadway musical Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson, which turned Old Hickory into an eyeliner wearing, angst-ridden rock star. Walker is decent enough, but the leaden material saps him of any energy or charisma. Walker bears a strong resemblance to Liam Neeson and, in fact, played a younger version of him in Kinsey. Ironic since Neeson was once attached to star Lincoln in Spielberg's upcoming biopic. In line with Vampire Hunter's ultra-serious tone, the actors play it dour with the exception of Marton Csokas who hams it up as the murderous Jack Barts. The best performance goes to Rufus Sewell as the vampiric progenitor Adam.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter sounded like a wild concept. Then again, so did Snakes on a Plane and Hot Tub Time Machine, projects with a catchy title and that never panned out past their jokey premises.

Rating: ** (*****)

Somewhere

Somewhere - Dir. Sofia Coppola (2010)

Sofia Coppola made a strong debut as a filmmaker with 1999's The Virgin Suicides, but it was Lost in Translation that made her a critical darling. Her second film did exceptional box office (especially for a film that only cost $4 million) and received numerous awards. After finding such success, many independent filmmakers choose to tackle more ambitious films as their next project. So it was with Coppola who chose to shoot her passion project, Marie Antoinette, with Kirsten Dunst in the lead and a budget ten times that of her previous movie. The picture was not given the same positive praise as Lost in Translation and was even booed the Cannes Film Festival. Coppola's decision to use an anachronistic pop music soundtrack with tunes like "I Want Candy" by Bow Wow Wow was a head scratcher for most. Personally, I feel Marie Antoinette is a widely misunderstood film as it was never meant to be an historically accurate biopic, but a piece of pop art and commentary on teenaged célèbre.

Taking the criticism in stride, Coppola has gone back to her roots with a low-budget and intimate tale of two individuals attempting desperately to connect. Call it Lost in Hollywood. Stephen Dorff plays movie star Johnny Marco, who has the type of career some predicted Dorff could have and should have had. Marco lives an utterly empty life as a glamorous Hollywood celebrity. This is symbolized quite bluntly during the opening scene in which Marco aimlessly drives his Ferrari in a circle out in the desert.

In between filming and press junkets around the world, Marco lives at the trendy Chateau Marmont, a hotel for the rich and the site of John Belushi's fatal overdose. As an A-lister, Marco doesn't just get room service; he gets strippers sent to his pad, blonde twin strippers with portable poles, no less. He runs through an endless parade of women. Most of the ladies practically throw themselves on him. Some send him anonymous profanity-laced text messages or tell him to his face how big a jerk he is. None of this sparks even an iota of genuine emotion from Marco. He can barely keep himself awake for the strip routines; he even falls asleep while attempting oral sex on a woman he just picked up. Only when Marco spends time with his daughter, Cleo (Elle Fanning), do we see a softer side to the bad boy.

Marco gets the occasional day with Cleo, but the latest daddy day becomes an extended stay when his ex-wife dumps Cleo on him for unknown reasons. As more time is spent between the two, Marco comes to the realization of how much he has missed and how much his little girl is slowly becoming a young woman. This revelation hits Marco when he looks up from his Blackberry to watch her during an ice skating lesson.

Is it difficult to feel for a millionaire movie star who tools around in a Ferrari and has woman flashing him at random? Yes, it is hard to sympathize with someone who is so miserable, yet still has so much. Somewhere becomes a far more interesting film when it moves past mopey Marco to the father-daughter relationship. Nothing feels forced or scripted about their scenes as little events work to build their connection. Cleo makes Eggs Benedict for her dad and his pal (played by Jackass's Chris Pontius, of all people) and beams a mile-wide smile as Marco is honored at an Italian awards ceremony.

Throughout it all, Elle Fanning gives a wonderfully understated performance, one that ranks at the top of female performances in 2010. Fanning deserves to be at the head of the youth movement of actresses that includes Hailee Steinfeld and Chloe Moretz. When one of Marco's one-night stands shares breakfast with them, Fanning brings a subtle change to her facial expression, a change that undoubtedly involves staring daggers at dad. Dorff compliments Fanning's performance well and is more than suited to play the brooding movie idol.

Just as the actors adopt a minimalist approach to their parts, Coppola adopts an equally minimalist approach to her direction. The camera lingers on the characters' inertia. The unique framing of the camera and the director's fascination with the most mundane tasks owes much to Chantal Akerman's Jeanne Dielman, which cinematographer Harry Savides screened for her. Coppola's penchant for infusing her pictures with pop songs is absent here as she goes for a purely diagetic soundtrack, aside from a score by the band Phoenix (fronted by Coppola's husband, Thomas Mars).

When Cleo is gone, it feels like the heart has been ripped right out of Johnny Marco's chest. It feels the same for the film as well. Elle Fanning is really the heart and soul of Somewhere and whenever she and Dorff are on-screen together is when the magic happens. Lacking that strong emotional core, Somewhere becomes a cold character study.

Rating: *** (*****)