Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino paid homage to the
exploitation movies of their youth with the 2007 double feature Grindhouse. They had big plans to turn
it into a franchise until the film died at the box office. Still, there was
enough interest to spinoff Machete, a machete wielding badass who made his
first appearance in one of Grindhouse's
faux-trailers.
Described as ”FBI, CIA, and DEA all rolled into one mean
burrito," Machete starred in a self-titled feature film bolstered by
over-the-top action and an eclectic cast that included Robert DeNiro and
Lindsay Lohan. Of course, Machete
couldn't have worked without its star, Trejo, the craggily faced and tattooed
character actor in his biggest role to date. Trejo returns in the sequel, Machete Kills, which remains faithful to
its B-movie roots while upping the ante by adding a sci-fi spin. There's a lead
villain cut from the same mold as Hugo Drax from Moonraker and plenty of Star
Wars references.
A mission to foil an arms deal ends disastrously for Machete
and ICE agent Sartana (Jessica Alba). Our hero is about to be hanged by a
redneck sheriff (William Sadler) when he's pardoned by President Rathcock
(Charlie Sheen, billed under his real name of Carlos Estevez). POTUS sends
Machete into Mexico to track down a nuclear weapon that has fallen into the
hands of a former cartel leader known as Mendez the Madman (Demián Bichir), so
called because of his multiple personalities. However, the real mastermind is
revealed to be billionaire industrialist Luther Voz (Mel Gibson), who has
concocted a plan to engulf the entire world in nuclear war.
Also returning for the sequel are Michelle Rodriguez as the
one-eyed revolutionary She and Tom Savini as hitman Osiris Amanpour. Joining
them are Amber Heard as beauty queen/secret agent Miss San Antonio and Sofia
Vergara as Desdemona, leader of a gang of deadly prostitutes. While the cast is
as star-studded as its predecessor, most of the actors (Vanessa Hudgens, for
example) appear in glorified cameos. One character, a master of disguise named
The Chameleon, is simply there to justify a string of gonzo, guest appearances
by Walt Goggins, Lady Gaga, and Cuba Gooding Jr. Only a few get to make any
real impression, such as Sheen who has fun playing into his tabloid persona as
a boozehound and horndog. Bichir and Gibson (in his first turn as a bad guy)
give the best performances as both actors straddle the line between cartoonish
villainy and honest-to-goodness gravitas. Bichir, in particular, brings some
surprisingly soulful moments to Machete
Kills.
Rodriguez's flair for action isn't fully on display here. Machete Kills manages a couple of decent
set pieces, usually involving Machete versus Chilean martial arts star Marko
Zaror. Unfortunately, much of the film is repetitive with Rodriguez relying one
too many times on his hero killing henchmen by throwing them into helicopter
blades. Sofia Vergara, who plays it to the hilt, packs a high caliber brassier
as well as the crotch gun from Desperado
and From Dusk Till Dawn. Even a
catfight between Amber Heard and Michelle Rodriguez comes off dull.
Machete Kills
opens with another faux-trailer for a third picture, Machete Kills Again…in Space, that offers more thrills than the
actual movie that followed. Maybe it's time to say, "Adios," to this
franchise.
Rating: ** (*****)
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