The worst sin an action movie can commit is to be a complete and utter bore. I can forgive bad acting, cheesy dialogue, and a derivative plot if I get plenty of shoot outs, fights, and explosions. However, I simply cannot abide an action film without any action.
Vin Diesel plays Toorop, a mercenary hired to escort a girl named Aurora (Melanie Thierry) and her guardian, Sister Rebeka (Michelle Yeoh), out of Europe and into the U.S. They’re chased everywhere they go by a bunch of people for some reason. Don’t ask me why, I wasn’t really paying attention.
Babylon A.D. tries desperately to be an amped-up Children of Men, but winds up as a knockoff of Johnny Mnemonic and Transporter. Sure, the movie has fight scenes, gun battles, explosions, and even a jet ski chase. None of it is directed with any sort of flair, just more of the same rapid edit style that everyone does these days.
Director Mathieu Kassovitz blames the studio for taking the film away from him, editing down a 161 minute film into a 90 minute quickie palpable to the shopping mall multiplex audiences. Personally, I give Kassovitz credit for having the balls to actually attempt to make a three hour Vin Diesel movie.
Diesel plays the same stoic protagonist he always does which wouldn’t be such a problem if he picked better scripts. You'd think Michelle Yeoh as a kung fu fighting nun would be awesome. Alas, she is even more wasted here than she was in The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. An awful movie that wasn't even worthy of the prestige that comes from a Razzie nomination.
Rating: *
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