My Week with Marilyn

My Week with Marilyn - Dir. Simon Curtis (2011)

A lot of people have worked lousy day jobs as they attempt to break into the movie business. For young Colin Clark, he hit the jackpot right out of college. He landed a position on the 1957 film, The Prince and the Showgirl, which starred Sir Laurence Olivier and Marilyn Monroe. Sure, he was only the third assistant director, which essentially made him a gopher, but he was involved on a picture with two of the biggest movie stars of all time. The Prince and the Showgirl wound up being a forgettable romantic comedy. It's certainly not as fondly remembered as Olivier's Shakespearean adaptations or Monroe's Some Like It Hot or Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. The fascination with the film lies with the backstage drama, which was chronicled by Clark in his books, The Prince, the Showgirl and Me and My Week with Marilyn.

The British press was abuzz over the arrival of Marilyn Monroe (Michelle Williams) on her first trip to England. The blonde bombshell was set to star opposite Olivier (Kenneth Branagh) in his production of The Prince and the Showgirl. But, what should have been a breezy little romp became a turbulent shoot as Monroe frequently showed up late to the set, flubbed her lines, clashed with the temperamental Olivier, and relied heavily on booze and pills. It didn't help that her recent marriage to playwright Arthur Miller (Dougray Scott) was already on the rocks. Monroe was also surrounded by an entourage that included publicist Arthur Jacobs (Toby Jones), business partner Milton H. Greene (Dominic Cooper), and acting coach Paula Strasberg (Zoe Wanamaker) whose advice constantly undermined Olivier's directions. It was difficult to tell who really cared about her and who was just riding the money train.

Out of all this turmoil, Monroe found a friend in Colin Clark (Eddie Redmayne). She confided in him about her broken marriage and the pressures of living up to the larger than life persona of Marilyn Monroe.

My Week with Marilyn suffers the stigma of being based on true events or at least events that were purported to be true. Not to question the integrity of the real Colin Clark, but it is hard to swallow that a glorified production assistant would engage in a brief love affair with Marilyn Monroe. While the script by Adrian Hodges likely took its own liberties, the whole story comes off as pure fan fiction, no deeper than the forgotten Jason Priestley vehicle, Calendar Girl.

It also doesn't help that the character of Colin Clark is the least interesting person in the film. As a result, the relationship between he and Monroe feels phony and forced, especially when there are so many more intriguing dynamics to explore. There was the stormy relationship between Monroe and Olivier, Monroe's dependence on method acting and the Strasbergs, and Monroe's unlikely union with Arthur Miller would have been better material for a feature. The brief scenes with Michelle Williams and Judi Dench as Dame Sybil Thorndike are a hint at what could have been an even better film.

Michelle Williams earned an Academy Award nomination for her portrayal as Marilyn Mornoe and she is the highlight of the film. Though Williams doesn't share much of a resemblance to the famed actress, she does give a nuanced performance that goes beyond a mere impersonation. Kenneth Branagh also received a nomination for Best Supporting Actor for his turn as Olivier. Branagh has been compared to Olivier many times so it's a treat to see him play the man on screen. Julia Ormond didn't receive as many notices as her co-stars, but she gives one of the best performances in the film as Olivier's wife, Vivien Leigh. A renowned actress in her own right, Leigh played the showgirl on stage, but was pushed aside due to her age. There just wasn't enough of her or of "Harry Potter" star Emma Watson as a wardrobe girl romanced by Clark.

My Week with Marilyn doesn't have anything new or unique to say about the mythos of Marilyn Monroe. Instead, its blatant Oscar grab meant to replicate the respectability and success of The King's Speech. While Michelle Williams gives a strong performance, she alone isn't enough to earn My Week with Marilyn a recommendation.

Rating: ** (*****)

Hop

Hop - Dir. Tim Hill (2011)

Rabbits are adorable and all, but is the Easter Bunny truly such an integral holiday icon? Do kids stay up late at night hoping to catch a glimpse of the Easter Bunny? Would they be psychologically scarred if you were to tell them that the Easter Bunny didn't exist? To me, he's on the low rung of the totem pole right next to the Tooth Fairy. If there are children eagerly waiting the time when the Bunny delivers garishly colored eggs, then Hop might be right up their alley.

Russell Brand voices E.B., a young rabbit who is heir apparent to the Easter Bunny Empire. Generations of male bunnies have carried the Easter tradition of delivering chocolates and sweets to children all over the world from their stronghold on Easter Island. E.B.'s father (Hugh Laurie) wants to pass the baton to his son, but E.B. is more interested in playing the drums. So he decides to run away and hop through a magic portal to Hollywood. From there, he meets Fred O'Hare (James Marsden), an underachiever who has been unable to hold down and job while still living with his parents. His younger sister, Samantha (Kaley Cuoco), gets Fred a cushy gig housesitting her boss's mansion.

E.B. invites himself in and quickly becomes a nuisance. Eventually, Fred and E.B. come to a mutual understanding. Fred will help his new furry friend win a talent contest hosted by David Hasselhoff, who appears as himself. In exchange, E.B. will assist Fred in living out his dream of becoming the first human Easter Bunny. If that wasn't bizarre enough, there's also a subplot involving a megalomaniacal chick with a Spanish accent named Carlos (Hank Azaria). Much like an evil Cesar Chavez, Carlos plots a revolution with his fellow chicks to gain control of the Easter factory.

Hop comes to us from Universal's new animation arm, Illumination Entertainment, which made a strong debut in 2010 with the delightful Despicable Me. It's written by the same screenwriters, Cinco Paul and Ken Daurio, along with Brian Lynch, a comic book writer who also co-wrote the surprisingly good Puss in Boots. Unfortunately, Hop just isn't on the same level as those pictures. As an unconvincing mix of CGI and live-action, it's more on par with the Alvin and Chipmunks movies. That shouldn't be surprising since Hop was directed by Tim Hill, who also helmed the first Chipmunks flick as well as Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties.

Hop suffers from a lack of ingenuity and originality. The Easter Bunny seems to have cribbed his entire operation from Santa Claus, right down to an enchanted sleigh. In fact, the movie feels like someone recycled an old Santa screenplay and replaced it with rabbit-related elements. Hop also tries to appeal to audiences old and young. When E.B. initially arrives in L.A., he attempts to gain entry into the Playboy Mansion. Where else is a bunny to go? It's one of the rare gags in Hop aimed at adults, but the rest of the movie is purely for kids. Their parents will likely cringe during a silly musical number set to Bow Wow Wow's "I Want Candy" or at the revelation that talking rabbits poop jelly beans.

Hop isn't all bad. James Marsden brings a goofy earnestness to his role as Fred the slacker. Gary Cole and Elizabeth Perkins are solid, if slightly wasted, as his parents and fans of The Big Bang Theory might get a kick out of seeing Kaley Cuoco as Fred's more responsible sister.

Hop has a lot in common with the chocolates and candies that are usually passed around on Easter Sunday. It's brightly colored, overly sweet, and not very nutritious. Hop is pure junk food cinema that might entertain the kiddies, but will give older audiences a terrible toothache.

Rating: * (*****)

J. Edgar

J. Edgar - Dir. Clint Eastwood (2011)

"When morals decline and good men do nothing, evil flourishes."

J. Edgar had the potential to be an important and powerful film. You had Clint Eastwood as director, Dustin Lance Black (who won the Academy Award for Milk) as screenwriter, a bankable movie star in Leonardo DiCaprio in the lead, and the intriguing true life story of J. Edgar Hoover. A controversial figure, Hoover served as director of the FBI for nearly fifty years. He had a career that was plagued by paranoia, petty jealousy, and racism and was long rumored to be a closeted homosexual as well as a cross-dresser. But, J. Edgar doesn't come close to the quality of recent Eastwood pictures like Invictus or Gran Torino.

Eastwood and Black get the film off to a poor start with an aged Hoover (DiCaprio) regaling a succession of young FBI agents with his life story in order to compose his memoirs. It's a rather lazy and clumsy device that feeds the narrative to the audience in a piecemeal fashion. Hoover began working with the Bureau of Investigation in its infancy by arresting and deporting anti-government radicals. Eventually promoted to the position of director, Hoover attempts to increase the FBI's power as he spearheads the investigation into the kidnapping of Charles Lindbergh's baby. It was this case that Hoover emphasized the importance of forensics and fingerprint analysis, which was dismissed by law enforcement as a speculative science. During Prohibition, he doggedly pursued infamous gangsters like Alvin Karpis, Pretty Boy Floyd, Machine Gun Kelly, and John Dillinger, who was killed by an operation run by Melvin Purvis as depicted in Michael Mann's Public Enemies. Hoover, angered that Purvis was receiving all the attention, derailed his career.

While Hoover made many enemies, he made fewer friends. One of them was Helen Gandy (Naomi Watts), who became his long-time secretary, and Clyde Tolson (Armie Hammer), who became Hoover's closest confidant. The two would never miss a meal together and frequently went to the horse races in Del Mar together.

Hoover eventually grows more and more out of touch with society. He ignored organized crime and went after supposed communists, liberals, and journalists who criticized him. He tried to sabotage Martin Luther King's acceptance of the Nobel Peace Prize, an action that even Gandy and Tolson disagreed with. Throughout it all, Hoover was under the thumb of a domineering mother (Judi Dench), who coldly told him that she would rather have a dead son than a "daffodil."

Hoover supposedly kept secret files containing dirty secrets on many of the country's political leaders. He had a contentious relationship with many presidents and used those secrets to solidify his power base. In the film, he is depicted as blackmailing Franklin Roosevelt as well as John and Bobby Kennedy (the latter of whom is played by Jeffrey Donovan). One of Hoover's few good acts was to entrust Gandy with the destruction of said files upon his death to prevent them from falling into the hands of Richard Nixon.

J. Edgar commits the cardinal sin of biopics by trying to tell far too much in a small amount of time. It doesn't help that Eastwood's explanation for all of Hoover's faults and accomplishments lie with the fact that he was a momma's boy. The film does touch upon the speculation that Hoover and Tolson were homosexuals. Their relationship remains mostly chaste with Hoover reticent to act due to societal morays and his mother's influence. There are forlorn looks and subtle clasping of hands, but no sex involved. The one time the pair does heat up is during a lover's quarrel that unfolds in the most melodramatic fashion with a lot of screaming and broken furniture. The dialogue and hammy acting are on par with a bad soap opera. The same goes for a brief scene where Hoover clutches his late-mother's dress in a reference to his transvestitism.

The narrative's penchant for traveling back and forth in time is made all the more jarring by the unconvincing make-up work to age the actors. While a lot of effort and man hours went into the effects, it never looks realistic, especially the make-up on Armie Hammer as the elderly Tolson. Leonardo DiCaprio doesn't look like a 70-year old Hoover; he just looks like Leonardo DiCaprio under heavy make-up. Speaking of which, DiCaprio's performance is somewhat lacking. Part of that has to do with his eternally cherubic looks. Much like his role as Howard Hughes in The Aviator, DiCaprio excels at playing the younger versions of his characters, but his youthful face and equally youthful voice work against him.

There is a good movie buried somewhere within the confines of the tedious J. Edgar, just as Leonardo DiCaprio is buried somewhere within the confines of his fake jowls and bloated make-up. J. Edgar is a representation of blatant Oscar grabbing cinema, a rare disappointment from Clint Eastwood.

Rating: * ½ (*****)

Recoil

Recoil - Dir. Terry Miles (2012)

The most recognizable name in profession wrestling is arguably Hulk Hogan. He was the largest attraction of the 1980's during the height of the rock 'n' wrestling era when Vince McMahon's WWF enjoyed unheralded mainstream attention. No one ever came close to capturing that same popularity until the late-90's with Steve Austin. Once known as "Stunning" Steve Austin, the blonde haired pretty boy remade himself into "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, a beer-guzzling, foul mouthed redneck with a hair trigger temper. After retiring from wrestling, Austin transitioned to the equally colorful world of action movies. Aside from supporting roles in The Longest Yard and The Expendables, his only starring vehicle released theatrically was the WWE-produced The Condemned. Austin has mostly stuck with direct-to-video films like The Stranger, Hunt to Kill, and Tactical Force. His latest picture is Recoil, which co-stars another renowned tough guy in Danny Trejo.

Trejo spent over a decade in prison where he became a boxing champion before meeting another reformed convict in Eddie Bunker, who is probably best known for his bit role as Mr. Blue in Quentin Tarantino's Reservoir Dogs. Bunker co-wrote and acted in 1985's Runaway Train where Trejo made his acting debut while training Eric Roberts to box. Since then, Trejo has had a prolific career thanks to his gruff voice, craggy face, and tattooed body.

Austin stars as Ryan Varrett, a former cop, who has become a vigilante since the brutal murder of his family. He travels across the country in a 1968 Plymouth GTX exacting his own brand of justice on killers who have escaped the long arm of the law. While hunting down a serial rapist nicknamed the Highwayman, he arrives in the tiny town of Hope. This seemingly sleepy burg is controlled by the Circle, a ruthless biker gang run by Drayke (Trejo). The few citizens still living in Hope have none as they live in fear of Drayke, who uses the town as the hub of his drug trafficking ring. Varrett decides to clean the place up with the help of a sympathetic sheriff's deputy (Adam Greydon Reid) and the lovely Darcy (Serinda Swan), a widower running a generally empty motel.

Recoil follows the basic formula of a classic Western with Austin as the taciturn stranger, who rides into a frontier town to make it safe once again for law-abiding citizens. The screenplay by John Sullivan isn't Shakespeare or even Shane Black. It's riddled with corny dialogue and tough guy clichés (the hero walks away from an explosion in slow motion). The plot is incredibly thin with Austin mainly kicking someone's ass, waiting around, and then kicking someone else's ass again before we finally get the one-on-one confrontation between Austin and Trejo.

The fight scenes aren't anything to crow about, but they are competently staged. Austin isn't a martial arts expert nor does he move around with a lot of grace. That works for him as Austin is portrayed as a force of nature. He's a human wrecking machine tearing through a legion of bad guys that appear to have wandered off the set of Sons of Anarchy. Is he a subtle and nuanced actor? No, but he can do the stoic badass with an icy stare with ease. As for Trejo, he appears to have a lot of fun playing the lead villain rather than the henchman for a change. There's even a sly Machete reference where Trejo contemplates using his signature weapon before derisively tossing it aside.

Recoil is your standard low-budget action fare that's elevated solely by the presence of Steve Austin and Danny Trejo. It can be a fun time if you check your brain at the door and lower your expectations.

Rating: ** (*****)

Justice League: Doom

Justice League: Doom - Dir. Lauren Montgomery (2012)

Warner Brothers' line of animated films based on DC Universe has seen some highs and lows. Green Lantern: First Flight and Wonder Woman were great origin stories, despite their short running times, while Superman: Doomsday and Superman/Batman: Public Enemies were instantly forgettable. While most of their releases revolve around Batman and Superman, on rare occasions Warner will bankroll a Justice League movie. This should especially please the diehard fans saddened by the loss of Cartoon Network's Justice League Unlimited.

The first picture, Justice League: The New Frontier, was an adaptation of a mini-series by Darwyn Cooke while the second, Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths, was based on a script originally written by Dwayne McDuffie for the television series. McDuffie would also pen All-Star Superman, which was released, Feb. 22 in 2011, just a day after his untimely death due to complications from heart surgery. McDuffie had worked at Marvel and DC and was best known as one of the founders of Milestone, an imprint at the latter publisher that spotlighted minority heroes from minority creators. McDuffie was also a mainstay in animation having worked on JLU, Static Shock, and Ben 10 Warner's latest release, Justice League: Doom was the last script written by McDuffie and while it's not as good as Crisis, it is one of their finest efforts.

Doom is loosely based on the "Tower of Babel" storyline, which ran in JLA #43-46 back in 2000. In that series, Batman's nemesis Ra's al Ghul systematically assaults the Justice League using diabolical schemes that were stolen from the Dark Knight himself. It seems Batman has devised various methods to take out his teammates should they ever turn bad. Even if you have read the original comics, Doom still has plenty of surprises since it only borrows the basic concept and spins it in a different manner.

Instead of Ra's al Ghul, we get another immortal conqueror in Vandal Savage, a caveman who was imbued with great intelligence and longevity by a mysterious meteorite. Savage has assembled the arch-enemies of each Justice Leaguer in a new version of the Super Friends staple, the Legion of Doom. Savage's first recruit, the Mirror Master, manages to sneak into the Bat-Cave and hack the Bat-Computer to steal the Caped Crusader's files. Next, they gather Star Sapphire, Bane, Metallo, Cheetah, and Ma'alef'ak to attack the League one by one in nefarious and unexpected ways.

The Justice League line-up here consists of Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, the Flash, and the Martian Manhunter. Neither Aquaman nor Hawkgirl are present here. In their place is Cyborg, a former Teen Titan, who has graduated to the big time. It only makes sense for DC to push Cyborg into the forefront with technology becoming more and more integral in our everyday lives.

Justice League: Doom has no connection to any previous movie or series, but long-time devotees will be overjoyed that it assembles an all-star cast of familiar voices. Tim Daly and Kevin Conroy return to voice the Superman and Batman along with fellow stalwarts Susan Eisenberg as Wonder Woman, Carl Lumbly as Martian Manhunter, and Michael Rosenbaum as the Flash. Interestingly enough, this Flash is Barry Allen rather than his successor Wally West, who Rosenbaum played on Justice League. Nathan Fillion returns for a third time to voice Hal Jordan, the most popular wielder of the emerald power ring. Fillion brings his usual charm and snappy patter to the role and it's easy to see why he was the fans' choice over Ryan Reynolds to star in the live-action Green Lantern film. Phil Morris, Olivia d'Abo, and Alexis Denisof reprise their Justice League roles of Vandal Savage, Star Sapphire, and Mirror Master.

Doom starts right off with a big action sequence as the Justice League battles the Royal Flush Gang, a band of playing card themed supervillains. The brisk pace continues as the Legion of Doom attacks the heroes individually before everyone comes together for the big brawl at the end. It's not all punching and explosions. The unique character dynamics between the Leaguers are still here though they aren't as fully explored because of the short runtime. Doom mainly centers on how each team member relates to Batman, who is a bit of a jerk, but a jerk with a point. He's the only one in the League without powers. Thus, he sees the need for contingency plans should someone like Superman ever go insane or is mind controlled. When the League state they would never do the same to Batman, he responds quite curtly, "Then, you're damn fools."

Be forewarned that Justice League: Doom isn't aimed at the casual fan and presupposes you are already familiar with the characters and their relationships. Despite being a big DC fan, I admit I had to check Wikipedia because I had no idea who Ma'alef'ak was. Turns out, he's the Martian Manhunter's evil brother. In any event, Doom is an enjoyable, action-packed romp.

Rating: *** (*****)

Chronicle

Chronicle - Dir. Josh Trank (2012)

With great power comes great responsibility. That was the lesson taught to Peter Parker and generations of comic book fans. Peter has a lot in common with Andrew Detmer, the lead character of Chronicle, as played by Dane DeHaan, an actor who closely resembles a young Leonardo DiCaprio. Both Andrew and Peter are lanky, socially awkward teens and suffered torment at the hands of high school bullies. Peter, at least, had a strong upbringing thanks to his Uncle Ben and Aunt May, who instilled in him a strong moral code. Sadly for Andrew, he did not have the same support system.

The shy and sensitive Andrew lives with a bed-ridden mother (Bo Petersen), who is slowly dying of cancer, and an alcoholic and abusive father (Michael Kelly), a former firefighter collecting disability. Andrew makes a new habit of carrying a camera everywhere he goes, recording his life at home and at school. His only friend is his cousin, Matt (Alex Russell). He's everything Andrew isn't. Confident and outgoing, Matt enjoys discussing Plato, Schopenhauer, and Jung. He invites a reluctant Andrew to a party where they meet up with Steve (Michael B. Jordan), the star quarterback who's running for class president. Together, they explore a pit in the woods where they discover a strange, glowing object.

Next thing you know, the three lads have been gifted with telekinetic powers. Do they fight for truth, justice, and the American way? No, they do what any teenagers would do if they were given extraordinary abilities. They pull pranks on each other and unsuspecting citizens at the shopping mall. They spook a little girl at the toy store with floating stuffed animals and knock one poor guy into a rack of groceries. There's even a Scott Baio in Zapped! moment when they lift the skirts of a group of pretty girls. Just when you think Chronicle is just Jackass with superpowers, things turn down a darker path as Andrew's mom gets sicker and his father gets angrier.

Chronicle marks the feature directorial debut of Josh Trank, who co-wrote the screenplay with Max Landis, son of John Landis, the director behind comedy classics like The Blues Brothers and Animal House. It's a fresh take on both the superhero film and found footage genre. The 1980 cult classic, Cannibal Holocaust, pioneered found footage, but it was The Blair Witch Project that really brought it to the forefront. The genre has exploded in recent years due to the immediacy of information in the YouTube era. It makes sense for Andrew to carry a camera everywhere he goes. The camera itself acts as a barrier between Andrew and the world around him, a point needlessly spelled out by one of the characters. At its best moments, the concept allows Trank to place the audience directly in Andrew's point of view as we witness the highs and lows of his life, from the heartbreaking cruelties at the hands of bullies to the invigorating freedom when the boys learn how to fly. Indeed, the flight sequences in Chronicle are some of the most captivating since Christopher Reeve first made you believe a man could fly. Even better, Trank isn't beholden to the conceit that the character must always be holding the camera at eye level no matter what ala Cloverfield. Thus, Chronicle isn't rife with queasy, shaky cam shots because the characters can simply float the camera at a convenient angle with their powers.

The question remains did Chronicle need to be done as a found footage movie? Not really. Trank mixes in black and white surveillance footage and news camera footage when he can to maintain the concept. Matt romances a pretty blonde (Ashley Hinshaw), who is a video blogger, allowing Trank to cut back and forth during their conversations. These scenes tend to draw too much attention to the genre's conventions and don't help the story. There are still places where it makes no sense for the camera to be recording. Andrew's dad berates his son for wasting money on an expensive camera, but still keeps it running? Although, you could argue Andrew switched it back on either consciously or unconsciously.

Luckily, the film is so well made and compelling that these minor quibbles do not diminish the overall experience. It's remarkable that Chronicle was made on a budget of only $12 million as the special effects are more convincing and the action more visceral than films made with tens times as much. Chronicle builds and builds towards a climactic confrontation at the top of the Space Needle before turning downtown Seattle into a war zone. The chaos and destruction harkens back to the drive-in sci-fi classics of yesteryear.

Chronicle turns out to be an origin story, but you'll walk out of the theater satisfied and craving more, instead of feeling ripped off at having only watched an extended first act. This is the debut of a filmmaker with great potential. Rumors instantly popped up that Trank would direct Fox's reboot of Fantastic Four, but they were quickly shot down. A shame since Trank can clearly bring a unique voice to the staid formula. There's a sly deconstruction of the superhero at work here evidenced by a scene where Andrew tortures a spider and plucks its legs off with a mere look.

Chronicle is the best non-comic book, comic book movie since Unbreakable.

Rating: *** (*****)

Johnny English Reborn

Johnny English Reborn - Dir. Oliver Parker (2011)

2011 was the year of sequels, remakes, and reboots. Hollywood churned out new entries in blockbuster franchises like Pirates of the Caribbean, Fast and the Furious, Scream, and Johnny English. Wait, what? Yes, imagine my surprise when a sequel to the 2003 Rowan Atkinson spy spoof was scheduled for release in October. Surely, the original Johnny English was a flop? Domestically it only made $28 million off a $40 million budget. However, it raked in over $132 million in foreign markets, meaning it made four times its production budget. Eight years later, Johnny English Reborn did worse in the U.S. and even better in international theaters with $8 million domestic and $151 foreign. No doubt this has less to do with Atkinson's work on Black Adder and more to do with his instant recognition as the silent bumbler, Mr. Bean.

Secret agent extraordinaire Johnny English (Atkinson) has retreated to the seclusion of a Tibetan monastery to retrain his mind and body following a botched mission in Mozambique. English is called back into action by the fictional MI-7 and its new head Pamela Thornton (Gillian Anderson), code-named Pegasus. Word is out that a clandestine organization known as Vortex is plotting to assassinate the Chinese premier. English is put on the task and paired with the eager and inexperienced Agent Tucker (Daniel Kaluuya).

The cast also includes Dominic West as the suave Agent Simon Ambrose, Rosamund Pike as a psychologist and potential love interest, and another Black Adder alumnus Tim McInnery as Patch Quartermain, MI-7's weapons designer.

I'm not sure what there is left to mine in the spy genre. The Austin Powers pretty much stripped it bare. It's been eight years since the last movie and the cinematic spy has become a different beast thanks to The Bourne Identity and Casino Royale. Johnny English Reborn attempts to go grittier while parodying all the familiar staples and the combination just doesn't work. It doesn't help that none of the gags are funny or original. There's the standard scene where English is equipped with all the latest high-tech gadgets including a missile launching digital camera and a Rolls Royce Phantom with voice command. Problem is the Bond films made these sequences so famous that they themselves poked fun at them. Usually you'd see Pierce Brosnan muck around with the equipment much to the consternation of Q, then spout a few quips. The fact that you get the exact same bits here makes the scene feel so tired. The rest the humor revolves around people getting kicked in the genitals repeatedly and English's recurring run-ins with an elderly Chinese assassin, who is disguised as a cleaning woman.

Atkinson is a talented comedian with some great facial expression and a capacity for physical comedy, but there's not much he can do with such flat material. The filmmakers want Johnny English to be a capable agent, who can hold his own against a group of martial arts experts. Yet, at the same time, he's also incredibly stupid. There's a point where the character goes from being stupid in a funny way to being stupid in an infuriating manner. Again, the script from Hamish McColl, who also wrote Mr. Bean's Holiday, can't find the right balance.

What saves Johnny English Reborn from being a total loss is the presence of two beautiful women, referring to Gillian Anderson and Rosamund Pike. Anderson's role is essentially a take-off of Judi Dench's M, a leader looking to rid the agency of outdated methods and chauvinistic attitudes. She makes for a good foil to English's outrageous antics. Pike, a former Bond girl, is a welcome presence as someone who is both smart and sexy. You only wish the character had more to do.

Unless you're a huge Rowan Atkinson fan or just want to watch him beat up old ladies, then skip Johnny English Reborn.

Rating: * (*****)

The Son of No One

The Son of No One - Dir. Dito Montiel (2011)

Good actors do bad movies all the time. Such is the case with The Son of No One, a gritty crime drama with an A-list cast and a D-list story. What possessed them to take part in such a muddled mess? It's likely that on paper the film was an intriguing challenge, but the final product is decidedly not.

The Son of No One was written and directed by Dito Montiel, a former male model and hardcore punk musician. Montiel made his directorial debut with A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints, which starred Channing Tatum, Robert Downey Jr., and Shia Labeouf and was based on his memoirs about growing up in Astoria, Queens. Montiel reunited with Tatum for his second feature, Fighting, about, what else, underground fighting.

Montiel and Tatum are back together again as the director returns to his old stomping grounds of Queens. The film opens in 1986 with a young boy named Jonathan "Milk" White (Jake Cherry), who lives in the Queensboro projects with his grandmother. He is cowering in fear in the bathroom of his best friend Vinnie (Brian Gilbert) as a crazed junkie attempts to break down the door. Holding a gun in his hand, Jonathan opens fire and kills the intruder. The kid's late father was a police officer and his former partner, Det. Charles Stanford (Al Pacino), sweeps the whole thing under the rug.

Flash forward to 2002 and Jonathan is now a beat cop living in Staten Island with a wife (Katie Holmes) and a daughter, who suffers from seizures. Jonathan is transferred to Queens just as a local reporter, Loren Bridges (Juliette Binoche), begins receiving anonymous letters claiming the NYPD covered up two murders in the projects. Specifically, these letters name Det. Stanford and Jonathan's new commanding officer Captain Mathers (Ray Liotta).

Huh? Two murders? Yes, Jonathan White proves to be the unluckiest boy in the world, chalks up another accidental kill when a neighboring scumbag kicks his scruffy little dog to death. This ridiculous scene sums up exactly how Montiel piles on the melodrama in The Son of No One. Since half the story is set in 2002, the specter of 9/11 is ever present. Montiel imbues a heavy handed message that corruption still existed even at a time when the NYPD was still riding the wave of heroic patriotism. The frequency in which the plot bounces back and forth from '86 to '02 is both confusing and infuriating.

The past isn't any better than the future. It's not enough for Jonathan to murder one person before he even hits puberty. This poor boy has to kill two. And was there any reason to cover up the original death? It was a clear cut case of self-defense though you could argue Stanford didn't want to drag little Jonathan into a court case. It just adds to the overall feeling that not a lot of thought was put into the story. Meanwhile, Jonathan's old BFF, Vinnie, also suffers from an overabundance of soap opera setbacks. Not only was he traumatized by witnessing the murders, he was also molested by his mother's boyfriend and spent time in an institution. He's also played as an adult by Tracy Morgan, who gives it his all in a rare dramatic turn, but is simply unable to shed his outrageous comedic persona. His performance here immediately brings to mind the 30 Rock story arc where Tracy Jordan attempts to go serious by winning an EGOT (Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, and Tony).

Tatum, who sports a stereotypical cop's mustache, is an underrated comedic actor, but his dramatic chops leave much to be desired. He's too bland and wooden to make much of a mark. As for the rest of the cast, they're good, particularly James Ransone as Jonathan's fiery partner and Juliette Binoche, whose French accent stands out against a sea of New York/Italian inflections. Ray Liotta pretty much plays Ray Liotta while Katie Holmes gets nothing to do, except scream at her husband, "What's happening? Why won't you tell me the truth?" Then, there's Al Pacino, who is surprisingly restrained. Sorry, but subdued Pacino isn't nearly as much fun as bug-eyed and crazy Pacino.

The Son of No One premiered at Sundance in 2011, but received a lot of negative buzz. It's only now being released on DVD and Blu-ray from Anchor Bay. I can't think of a good reason to track this movie down unless you have to see everything Channing Tatum and Al Pacino are in.

Rating: * (*****)

Moneyball

Moneyball - Dir. Bennett Miller (2011)

"…there are rich teams and there are poor teams. Then, there's fifty feet of crap and then, there's us."

I used to be a big baseball fan back in the late-80's and early-90's. The Oakland A's were one of the most dominant forces in Major League Baseball back then. They won the 1989 World Series as well as three American League pennants in a row. At their disposal were ace reliever Dennis Eckersley, Rickey Henderson (one of the greatest lead-off hitters in baseball), and the Bash Brothers, Jose Canseco and Mark McGwire. My interest waned and I stopped following the sport aside from jumping on the bandwagon of the Padres when they made a World Series run in 1998. They were crushed 4-0 by the monolithic New York Yankees. The A's can sympathize as they were crushed by the Yanks in the 2001 AL championships. That's where Moneyball begins.

Based on the book by Michael Lewis, Moneyball is the account of how the A's general manager Billy Beane (played by Brad Pitt) reconstructing the franchise on a shoestring budget with a radical approach utilizing the statistical analysis of sabermetrics, developed by Bill James, a statistician who wrote on the subject while working as a night guard for a pork and beans factory.

At the time, Oakland had a payroll of just under $40 million compared to New York's payroll of over $114 million. The A's lose three of their biggest players in the post-season to free agency as Johnny Damon, Jason Giambi, and Jason Isringhausen leave for more lucrative contracts. Beane can't afford suitable replacements and his scouts are too fixated on superficial qualities like clean batting strokes and physiques. One opines that a prospect has an ugly girlfriend, which means he lacks confidence. He knows they don't always get it right. Beane himself was drafted straight out of high school to the Mets, despite receiving a full scholarship to Stanford. He never lived up to the high expectations imposed on him.

Desperate, Beane enlists the aid of Peter Brand (Jonah Hill), a Yale graduate with a degree in economics, who champions the use of stats, specifically on-base percentage, to determine potential players. Described as an "island of misfit toys," Beane and Brand recruit Chad Bradford (Casey Bond), a relief pitcher overlooked due to his unorthodox submarine delivery; David Justice (Stephen Bishop), an aging power hitter; and Scott Hatteberg (Chris Pratt), an injury plagued catcher shifted to first base. Traditionalists rage against Beane's reliance on numbers, believing it overlooks the complexities and intangibles inherent in the game.

Moneyball's production had as much of a rough start as the A's did during their 2002 season. Steven Soderbergh was previously attached to direct a screenplay written by Stan Chervin and Steve Zaillian. The director of Traffic and Contagion intended to use animated sequences to explain the statistics as well as interspersing interviews with real ball players. Soderbergh even cast Scott Hatteberg and David Justice to play themselves before being removed just days before filming was to begin. Sony went back to the drawing board, bringing on Bennett Miller (Capote) as director and commissioning a new script from Zaillian and Aaron Sorkin. While I would have loved to seen Soderbergh's take, what Miller and company have crafted is the kind of the feel good drama Hollywood is known for.

Moneyball transcends the trappings of a mere sports drama or underdog story. It has a lot in common with The Social Network beyond the involvement of Sorkin or producer Scott Rudin. Both are stories about the cultural change in the current informational age. The power no longer lies in the hands of the physically strong, but the meek and nerdy, exemplified by Jonah Hill's socially awkward Peter Brand, a fictional character based on Beane's assistant Paul DePodesta. He's the perfect foil to the suave and confident Billy Beane as portrayed by Brad Pitt. If Clooney is the modern day Cary Grant, then Pitt is the 21st century Robert Redford, even if he is constantly snacking in every scene.

The film's weaknesses do come through with subplots that feel unfinished, perhaps a remnant of its troubled pre-production. There's a lone scene featuring Robin Wright as Beane's ex-wife and an uncredited Spike Jonze as her new husband that doesn't really go anywhere. Although, there are tender moments between Pitt and his on-screen daughter, Kerris Dorsey, his personal life isn't as interesting as his professional one. Philip Seymour Hoffman gives an understated performance as the A's manager Art Howe, who disagrees with Beane's direction. Howe is the primary dissenter and works against Beane's plans, but fades into the background during the second half of the picture. When the A's start winning, we never hear his opinions or whether he finally came around to Beane's philosophies (he didn't).

I'm not a big baseball fan and none of the names in Moneyball meant anything to me. Yet, I found the movie to be absolutely engrossing. Moneyball is a film that makes the backstage politics and the business of baseball as dramatic as the actual game itself.

Rating: *** (*****)

The Grey

The Grey - Dir. Joe Carnahan (2012)

Once more into the fray.
Into the last good fight I'll ever know.
Live and die on this day.
Live and die on this day.

The early part of the year is generally the season for movie goers to catch up on all the best picture nominees as well as a dumping ground for forgettable action flicks and rom-coms. There's a new tradition now with Liam Neeson led action movies being released almost on a yearly basis. There was Taken in 2009 and Unknown in 2011. 2012 follows suit with The Grey with Neeson reunited with Joe Carnahan, the director of The A-Team. The script is based on the short story, Ghost Walker, by Ian MacKenzie Jeffers, who also penned the awful revenge thriller Death Sentence. Given the participants, I would have been satisfied with an hour and a half of Liam Neeson punching the fuck out of wolves. Indeed, the money shot of the trailer is Neeson duct taping a knife and broken miniature bottles to his hands as he prepares to dive into battle. Imagine my surprise to find The Grey is far more philosophical and contemplative than one would expect from Joe Carnahan.

Neeson stars as John Ottway, a sharpshooter stationed at an oil pumping station in the remote Arctic. He protects the workers from the wolves living in the surrounding wilds. It's not exactly a noble profession as the station employees are mostly reprobates and desperate men. As Ottway describes them, they are "unfit for mankind." Memories of his late-wife (Anne Openshaw) are the only things keeping him going.

A plane ride to Anchorage turns to disaster when the aircraft is caught in a blizzard and crashes into a snowy wasteland. Ottway assumes leadership of a handful of survivors that include the hotheaded ex-con Diaz (Frank Grillo), the devout family man Talget (an unrecognizable Dermot Mulroney), and the reserved Hendrick (Dallas Roberts). Their journey back to civilization is endangered not only by the harsh elements, but by a pack of vicious wolves. These wolves are stalking the survivors not for food, but for vengeance as they are trespassing on their territory.

What differentiates The Grey from the winter season's cinematic detritus is the existential tone as it deals with faith in the face of a cruel world. There's an overriding sense of the impermanence of mankind, who will always be at the mercy of Mother Nature. These are certainly heady subjects for what Open Road Films has marketed as a standard action movie.

The Grey does offer a visceral experience as the deaths can occur suddenly and without warning. The wolves themselves are like unrelenting creatures from a horror film. One shot features the protagonists face to face with the pack as their eyes glow a stark white against the jet black night sky. Another sequence sees the survivors, forced to trudge through deep snow, helplessly watch as wolves tear apart their friend. Amidst all the brutally, some of the deaths are handled with emotional gravitas. The first one occurs when one man is found in the wreckage bleeding to death. Ottway doesn't bother to comfort him or mince words, he tells the man in a matter-of-fact manner that he's dying and nothing can be done. Despite the survivors being a collection of stock characters, it hits hard when one of them goes.

Liam Neeson has had a long career as a respectable actor, but it's only recently that he's become a top shelf action hero. With his booming voice and imposing 6'4 stature, he definitely has the credibility. As Ottway, Neeson gives a rich performance that's tinged with an unshakeable sadness. It's obvious this was something of a therapeutic role allowing Neeson to work through issues following the death of his wife Natasha Richardson in 2009. There's talk The Grey may be re-released for a run during awards season. Frank Grillo, previously seen as the trainer in Warrior, gives an excellent performance here and is the centerpiece for one of the film's most powerful scenes.

The Grey represents Joe Carnahan's best work, even better than his breakout film, Narc. His direction is still stylish, but almost understated, refraining from his usually overly kinetic tricks. The plane crash is one of the most realistic and harrowing crashes committed to film. After that, we see Neeson lying peacefully next to his wife and underneath a white sheet only for her to be ripped away as he awakens in a snow drift.

The Grey is one of the first great films of 2012, a gut wrenching tale of survival in the vein of Jack London. The ways in which it deals with manhood, spirituality, and the inevitability of death would make Hemingway proud.

Rating: *** (*****)

If you want to read my spoilerific thoughts on the ending, click on the comments section.