Tower Heist

Tower Heist - Dir. Brett Ratner (2011)

Don't you wish the Occupy movement could have struck at the one percent in a better way than camping out in the park and hoping they'd be driven off by their rank body odor? Tower Heist might satiate your thirst as a lightweight revenge fantasy about a group of working class stiffs striking back against the malevolent corporate elite.

Ben Stiller heads up an all-star cast as Josh Kovacs, the building manager for a Manhattan highrise played by the Trump International Hotel and the Trump Tower. The tower is the home to a hodgepodge of wealthy citizens and Kovacs caters to their every whim. The most famous and richest is Arthur Shaw (Alan Alda), an investment banker, who lives in the penthouse complete with a rooftop pool decorated by a giant hundred dollar bill and Steve McQueen's Ferrari in his living room. Shaw has more money than everyone else in the building combined, but he'll happily remind you he grew up in Queens and used to shovel horse manure at the racetracks. Shaw's genial demeanor rapidly fades when he is arrested for fraud of Bernie Madoff proportions. This includes the pension for the entire staff as well as the retirement fund for Lester (Stephen Henderson), the elderly doorman. Kovacs is pushed to the breaking point when poor Lester attempts to commit suicide. He vows to get back the money by any means necessary.

Kovacs believes Shaw has a hidden nest egg inside his apartment and gathers together a crew of misfits to plan the heist. He recruits brother-in-law & concierge Charlie (a wonderfully understated and self-deprecating Casey Affleck), dopey elevator operator Enrique (Michael Pena), and bankrupt stock broker Mr. Fitzhugh (Matthew Broderick). None of them know anything about stealing, but Kovacs knows someone who does...a black guy. The final member of the team is Slide (Eddie Murphy), a larcenous neighbor who used to go to daycare with Kovacs as children. The climactic crime sees the crew sneak into Shaw's penthouse amidst the hustle and bustle of Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Even if it sounds like a backhanded compliment, Tower Heist is by far the best work of director Brett Ratner. He'll never direct anything substantial, but he is a master of slick and hollow blockbusters. Tower Heist is a well made comedy that follows in the footsteps of the Ocean's franchise. In fact, the project was originally pitched by Eddie Murphy as an urban version of Ocean's Eleven, with Murphy hoping to star alongside talents like Chris Rock, Eddie Griffin, and Dave Chappelle. The screenplay was hammered down to a blue collar alternative to the ritzy Soderbergh pictures. The credited writers are Ocean's Eleven scribe Ted Griffin and Jeff Nathanson, who previously worked with Ratner on Rush Hour 2 and 3. There were also numerous uncredited rewrites by Rawson Marshall Thurber (Dodgeball), Leslie Dixon (Limitless), and Noah Baumbach (Greenberg). Despite all these writers, there are plot holes aplenty, the jokes aren't particularly witty and most of the humor skates by thanks to the easy chemistry of the cast. One of the funnier scenes features Slide initiating his cohorts by forcing them to steal merchandise at a trendy shopping mall. Ratner compliments the comedy with some dynamic action sequences with shout-outs to Die Hard and the iconic car chase from The French Connection.

Stiller makes a fine accounting of himself as the everyman taking charge of a situation and knowing how in over his head he is. Michael Pena has displayed strong comedic chops in Observe & Report and 30 Minutes or Less and he does so here as the team's resident dummy. Matthew Broderick is also funny as a pathetic sad sack, despite his character not being particularly useful. His math skills could have easily been replaced by the calculator app on an iPhone. What really brings the movie together is Alan Alda's performance as the villain. Alda plays up his nice guy image at the beginning of the film turning Shaw into the grandfather you wish you could have. Hey, he's Hawkeye Pierce, after all. Then, there's a slight shift in the tone of his voice that turns geniality into odious condescension.

Much has been made that Eddie Murphy's role in Tower Heist is a return to form. While it's certainly the most liveliest he's been in years, he's not quite the same Murphy from Beverly Hills Cop or 48 Hours. The few female members of the cast should also be praised. Gabourey Sidibe of Precious fame plays a Jamaican maid with a surprising talent for safecracking. Then, there's a smoky voiced Téa Leoni as a tough FBI agent and possible romantic interest for Kovacs.

There have been many unforgettable heist sequences in movie history from the Mini Cooper parade of the original The Italian Job to the silent jewelry store robbery from Jules Dassin's Rififi. Tower Heist won't ever be mentioned in the same breath as those films. Ratner's latest production is a generic comedy that matches its unimaginative title. Yet, it is a slickly shot picture and the imminently likeable cast generates enough goodwill to make it a fun hour and forty five minutes.

Rating: ** (*****)

I Don't Know How She Does It

I Don't Know How She Does It - Dir. Douglas McGrath (2011)

Some actors will be forever linked to their most popular roles. That's the case for Arnold and the Terminator, Leonard Nimoy and Spock, or Christopher Reeve and Superman. For Sarah Jessica Parker, it's Carrie Bradshaw. As the glamorous and urbane New Yorker on HBO's Sex and the City, Parker launched her career into the stratosphere. It seems like she's constantly trying to recapture lightning in a bottle by playing variations of Carrie in pictures like Did You Hear About the Morgans?, New Year's Eve, and I Don't Know How She Does It.

In the latter film, Parker is Kate Reddy, a hedge fund manager in Boston, mother of two, and wife to a successful architect named Richard (Greg Kinnear). Kate's life is a delicate balancing act between her professional life and her responsibilities at home. Most of the time, the scales don't tip in the right direction and she misses out on things like her son's first haircut. Kate's maternal duties get pushed further back when her demanding boss (Kelsey Grammer) asks her to land a lucrative account with the phallically appropriate name of Jack Abelhammer (Pierce Brosnan). This new opportunity requires Kate to fly back and forth to New York City and even ditch Thanksgiving dinner for a last minute flight to the Big Apple.

Aside from a crushing schedule, Kate's primary adversaries are a sniveling co-worker (Seth Myers), who is just waiting for her to slip up, and a competitive "momster" (Busy Phillips), who can seemingly outdo everything Kate tries.

I Don't Know How She Does It was based on a best-selling novel by Allison Pearson. It was originally published in 2002 and given the seal of approval by Oprah Winfrey. The Weinstein Company got the rights and went with Aline Brosh McKenna to pen the screenplay. McKenna also adapted the workplace chick-lit comedy, The Devil Wears Prada as well as the similarly themed 27 Dresses and Morning Glory. Luckily, How She Does It isn't another story centered on a type-A working girl whose entire self-worth is based on finding a man. Unfortunately, it is a movie centered on a type-A working girl whose problems aren't a drop in the bucket in the real world.

Pearson's novel was written years before the current recession, which is almost never addressed at all in the film. The one and only reference to the economic crisis is a condescending scene in which Jack and Kate deign to grace the common masses by going bowling in Cleveland. One of the working class stiffs remarks to the former Bond that she'll forgive him for being a banker if he scores a strike. If only it were that easy…

Kate doesn't exactly elicit much sympathy for being a part of the financial sector. She and her husband are also upper middle-class and make a more than comfortable living with a beautiful home. I doubt mothers working three jobs and living in depressed neighborhoods will shed many tears for Kate when her most trying dilemma involves a case of head lice. Or how about the time Kate is forced to masquerade a store-bought pie as homemade for her daughter's bake sale. Oh, the horror.

McKenna and director Douglas McGrath (Emma, Infamous) exacerbate the smugness by intercutting pseudo-documentary interviews with the supporting characters as they emphasize the difficulties modern women face in the workplace. It's an irritating device that adds nothing to an already thin narrative.

If there is anything positive to be found in I Don't Know How She Does It, it is the performances by Christina Hendricks and former G4 hostess Olivia Munn. Hendricks plays Kate's best friend, Allison, a single mother who likely faces far more interesting struggles. Munn is Kate's assistant, Momo, who finds herself pregnant despite the fact that she hates children.

Oprah called the original novel, the "national anthem for working mothers." Something must have been lost in translation since the movie sets the women's movement back twenty years. I Don't Know How She Does It tries to answer a question nobody was asking. The real question is "Why would anyone care?" Not a whole lot of people since the film earned a measly worldwide box office of $30.5 million. Sarah Jessica Parker needs to find more challenging material than How She Does It, a humorless and out of touch comedy full of shrill characters.

Rating: * (*****)

Piranha 3D

Piranha 3D - Dir. Alexandre Aja (2010)


Piranha 3D is one of the stupidest movies I have ever seen. It’s ridiculous, crude, and completely lacking in any redeeming values. I loved it.

The original Piranha was produced by schlock-master Roger Corman whose New World Pictures pumped out dozens of cult classics like Death Race 2000, Rock ‘n Roll High School, and Slumber Party Massacre. Released in 1978, Piranha was both a rip-off and a parody of Jaws and featured the first credited work from filmmakers Joe Dante (Gremlins, The Howling) and John Sayles (Lone Star). An unrelated sequel, Piranha II: The Spawning, was released three years later and is only notable for being the first film directed by James Cameron.

The first Piranha was a pure B-movie through and through and so is the remake. Piranha 3D opens with a quickie cameo by Richard Dreyfuss as he reprises his role as Matt Hooper from Jaws. The scene pretty much sets the tone for the rest of the movie. Spring break is upon us and the small town of Lake Victoria (a fictionalized version of Lake Havasu where the film was actually shot) is preparing for the worst. The picturesque spot is invaded by a ravenous swarm of creatures straight out of your nightmares. I’m speaking of drunken college kids. Douchebag frat boys and slutty sorority sisters are everywhere and it is up to Elisabeth Shue and Ving Rhames to keep the peace. Shue plays Julie Forester, the town’s tough sheriff and a single mom with Rhames as the hard-assed Deputy Fallon.

Julie’s son, Jake (Steven R. McQueen, grandson of THE Steve McQueen), is a nice kid with an unrequited crush on the virtuous Kelly (Jessica Szohr) who would rather hang out with her jerkass jock boyfriend. He’s supposed to be babysitting his younger siblings, but takes a job as tour guide for the utterly obnoxious Derrick Jones (Jerry O’Connell) who is there to shoot Girls Gone Wild-style videos. Of course, the two blonde-haired moppets wander off and wind up stranded on a rock in the middle of the lake.

An earthquake opens up a fissure underwater that releases a host of hungry prehistoric piranha into the lake. The townsfolk and vacationers have no clue until it is too late.

Much like its progenitor, Piranha 3D is absolutely a B-movie and has everything you expect from a B-movie. I’m speaking of blood and boobs. The spring break bacchanalia is in full swing as buxom bikini-clad babes pull off their tops and let their ample assets loose. In a shamelessly gratuitous sequence, voluptuous cover girl Kelly Brook and porn star Riley Steele (I swear I only know that because of Google) perform a fully nude underwater ballet to “The Flower Duet” from the French opera, Lakmé.

When the piranhas finally chow down, it turns into a Grand Guignol. The lake turns red as it is awash with copious amounts of blood. The death scenes come quick with each one as gruesome as the next. Director Alexandre Aja is no stranger to gore having also helmed High Tension and the remake of Wes Craven’s The Hills Have Eyes. Bodies are literally consumed to the bone. A topless parasailer is lifted out of the water after her legs have been eaten away to gnarled stumps. Another girl gets her hair caught in a propeller leading to her scalp and face ripped off. Eli Roth makes a brief cameo as the sleazy emcee of a wet t-shirt contest and meets with an appropriately violent death. When Aja surveys the carnage, the lake is littered with carcasses in a visual reference to Saving Private Ryan.

The film stays firmly within genre conventions as the wholesome heroes survive with their limbs intact. The hedonistic hordes indulging in sex, drugs, and alcohol meet their ends at the sharp teeth of carnivorous fish. Despite warnings from the local constabulary, they continue their drunken revelry and pay the price for their stupidity.

Piranha was shot in 2D and converted to 3D in post-production. It certainly looks better than other converted movies like Clash of the Titans and Last Airbender. Most of the underwater scenes are dark and murky and the glasses make them even more dark and murky. The CG piranhas are also pretty crappy looking. On the positive side, Aja indulges in the gimmickry of 3D. Bare breasts and projective vomit fly at the screen.

As for the acting, nobody tries too hard, but they don’t need to. The supporting cast is made mostly of unknowns and porn stars with the lead actors carrying the weight. O’Connell is hilarious as the excessively sleazy peddler of softcore porn. His character and his manhood meet with justifiably violent ends. Adam Scott is cast against type as a heroic scientist while Christopher Lloyd is in full on Doc Brown mode as a crazy eyed fish expert. Oh, and Elisabeth Shue is way hot.

Piranha 3D is pure lowbrow exploitation cinema. However, it has no pretensions of being anything more.

Rating: ***