A Haunted House 2

A Haunted House 2 – Dir. Michael Tiddes (2014)

It's the sequel to a movie nobody asked for in the first place.

Marlon Wayans and his many brothers kicked off the Scary Movie franchise, which parodied horror movies using Scream as its spine. They departed from the series after the second movie. In 2013, Wayans struck out on his own with A Haunted House, a parody of the found footage genre, specifically Paranormal Activity. Despite being ravaged by critics, the film earned $60 million worldwide off a modest budget of #$2.5 million. If you know Hollywood, you know they'll jump on anything that makes a modicum of money. Hence, we have the inexplicable existence of A Haunted House 2.

For those of you who missed the original picture, Malcolm Johnson (Wayans) moves into a new home with his girlfriend Kisha Davis (Essence Atkins) only for the loving couple to suffer a string of supernatural phenomena. Part 2 begins right where they left off with Malcolm and his cousin Ray-Ray (Affion Crockett) attempting to drive a possessed Kisha to the hospital. They are struck by a passing vehicle and flee the scene leaving behind the unresponsive Kisha.

One year later, Malcolm has a new wife and a new house. He is now married to Megan (Jaime Pressly) and serves as stepfather to her two children, Becky (Ashley Rickards) and Wyatt (Steele Stebbins). Becky, like most teenage girls, is sullen and disrespectful to her mom's new husband. Wyatt is an odd boy who speaks to an invisible friend named Tony just as Danny did in The Shining. Only in this case, Wyatt's Tony is black and enjoys profanity and vodka.

Malcolm finds that Wyatt's behavior isn't the only thing strange going on in his life. The previous homeowners left behind a few objects including a creepy doll named Abigail, some disturbing reels of 16mm film, and a smelly antique box that fascinates Becky. Malcolm quickly discovers that the evil that plagued him before has followed him.

Wayans once again assumes multiple duties as star, co-writer, and producer for A Haunted House 2. He barely had enough material for one movie, let alone two. Wayans relies almost entirely on lazy references to recent horror flicks such as The Conjuring, The Possession, The Last Exorcism, and Sinister. The rest of his jokes usually involve racial stereotypes and name dropping celebrities (the Kardashians, Kanye West, etc.). Wayans blatantly pads out the running time by prolonging his already unfunny gags. The sight of a bare-assed Wayans having intercourse with the doll will be burned into your memory as the scene is stretching beyond any reasonable length. The joke continues to draw zero guffaws when the doll begins sending Malcolm gross selfies on his phone.

The sequel does have a stronger supporting cast than its predecessor, which makes it all the more disappointing when the film does nothing with them. Jaime Pressly can be very funny as evidenced by her time on My Name is Earl, but her character is rendered as nothing more than as an emasculating harpy. At least, she's gorgeous to look at. Cedric the Entertainer returns as the volatile Father Doug with Gabriel Iglesias as Malcolm's neighbor. Both are talented comedians who fail to inject humor in the puerile material. Hayes MacArthur and Missi Pyle are equally wasted as paranormal investigators modeled after Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga in The Conjuring. Wayans himself simply mugs for the camera, screeching and yammering every chance he gets. The only actor in the movie to garner an iota of amusement is Rick Overton as a paranormal scholar who cooks meth on the side.

Rating: * (*****)

A Haunted House

A Haunted House - Dir. Michael Tiddes (2013)

Although you can trace the origins of the found footage genre back to 1980’s Cannibal Holocaust, it was 1999’s The Blair Witch Project that brought it into modern consciousness. There’s been a resurgence of the genre following the runaway success of the Paranormal Activity films. With that success comes a host of imitators and parodies, beginning with the direct-to-video 30 Nights of Paranormal Activity with the Devil Inside the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. One of the most prominent horror spoofs has been the Scary Movie franchise, which was shepherded by the Wayans Brothers. They departed after two films and were replaced by David Zucker, no stranger to parodies since he also directed Airplane and The Naked Gun. The Weinstein Company is resurrecting the Scary Movie brand after seven years with a fifth installment coming to theaters in April. Meanwhile, Marlon Wayans, an original star and co-writer of Scary Movie, has branched out with his own horror-comedy, A Haunted House, which hit theaters in January and arrives on DVD and Blu-ray shortly after the release of its competitor.

Malcolm Johnson (Wayans) is extremely excited to have his girlfriend, Keisha (Essence Atkins), move into his handsome suburban home. However, things go wrong immediately when she accidentally runs over Malcolm’s beloved dog. It only gets worse when spooky events start to occur, from doors and objects moving by themselves to ghostly moans in the middle of the night. Keisha sheepishly admits that she sold her soul to a demon for a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes and may have brought the supernatural presence with her. Together, they seek help from a variety of sources, including a pair of security experts (David Koechner and Dave Sheridan) filming their own reality series, an overly intimate psychic (Nick Swardson), Malcolm’s gangsta cousin Ray-Ray (Affion Crockett), and a priest (Cedric the Entertainer) with dubious credentials.

Marlon Wayans intended A Haunted House to be a humorous look at how black people would react to supernatural circumstances in the place of white folk. Too bad Eddie Murphy already did that gag in his classic stand-up special Delirious. Not to mention Murphy's joke was far funnier and only a couple minutes long. A Haunted House is excruciatingly dull and it's almost half an hour into the movie before the ghost story kicks into gear. One of the criticisms levied against Paranormal Activity was the thin plot and the plot is even thinner here. Really, it's a one joke premise. As soon as the furniture is thrown around, get the hell out of the house. That's exactly what Malcolm tries to do, but then the movie would be blessedly over. Instead, he and Keisha stick around, forcing us to endure a steady string of fart jokes and dated references to Snakes on a Plane and the Shake Weight.

Wayans seems to think flashing his bare ass is hilarious and does so on several occasions such as when he drunkenly defecates in the middle of the living room and when he gets sodomized by an invisible spirit. A Haunted House also loves playing up stereotypes from a Mexican housekeeper who seemingly can't speak English to Nick Swardson's swishy psychic who is constantly trying to fondle Malcolm because that's what all gay guys do.

Admittedly, there are some amusing moments. One scene finds Malcolm and Keisha calmly eating breakfast completely ignoring the poltergeist wreaking havoc on their kitchen. A Haunted House might have worked as a series of short skits. As it stands, it's nothing more than a lazy, lowbrow spoof.

Rating: * (*****)