The Wolfman

The Wolfman - Dir. Joe Johnston (2010)


”Terrible things, Lawrence. You’ve done terrible things…”

Werewolves haven’t received as much cinematic attention as their bloodsucking brethren. Right off the top of my head, I can name several great vampire films. Let the Right One In, The Hunger, The Lost Boys, Nosferatu, Innocent Blood, Near Dark, etc. I can come up with maybe two great werewolf movies, the 1941 version of Wolfman with Lon Cheney, Jr. and John Landis’s An American Werewolf in London. Joe Johnston’s remake of the 1941 film will not be counted as one of them.

Set in the 1800’s, Benicio Del Toro is Lawrence Talbot, a traveling stage actor, who returns home upon the murder of his brother after years of absence. Talbot is still haunted by the suicide of his mother and is less than enthusiastic about revisiting Stately Talbot Manor. But, he is welcomed by his eccentric father Sir John (Anthony Hopkins) and his brother’s beautiful fiancée, Gwen Conliffe (Emily Blunt). Investigating his brother’s demise, Lawrence follows the trail to a gypsy encampment just as it is being attacked by an angry and superstitious mob, complete with torches and pitchforks. And just to turn it into an all-out melee, a werewolf tears through anyone in his path, including Lawrence.

Bitten by the creature, Lawrence finds himself transformed into a beast on each night of the full moon. He desperately attempts to send Gwen away for her own safety while deep-rooted secrets about his family and his father come to light. Toss in a dash of Hugo Weaving as an inspector for Scotland Yard’s special muttonchops division.

The Wolfman has been mired with production problems beginning in 2008 with the departure of original director Mark Romanek. Joe Johnston (The Rocketeer, Jumanji) stepped in and filming was completed that spring. The movie was initially set for release November 2008, but that date was continually pushed back before finally hitting theaters this February. The opening months of the year are generally a dumping ground for the studios. The score by Danny Elfman was replaced by another composer’s work before filmmakers decided to go back to Elfman’s. The indecision about the release date and music are indicative of the troubled production. No one seemed to know which direction to take the movie.

To Johnston’s credit, he has crafted a moody and atmospheric picture aided by the fantastic make-up by Rick Baker, the artist who also worked on American Werewolf in London. You marvel at the costumes and the sets until someone gets disemboweled. When the wolf strikes, limbs are ripped off and intestines are strewn about repeatedly. In Wolfman’s best sequence, Del Toro is strapped to a gurney in a sanitarium as his doctor obliviously lectures his colleagues on Talbot’s delusions. Of course, Talbot morphs into the wolfman freaking out the entire room. It’s not long before someone gets impaled and we watch a CGI wolfman tear-assing through London.

The movie switches back and forth from an old-fashioned slower pace to a modern, action-oriented approach. In the end, all of Baker’s wonderful practical effects are for naught as the climax involves two badly rendered CGI furballs ripping into each other. Come for The Wolfman, stay for Van Helsing?

On the surface, The Wolfman appears to be a picture deserving of being a tentpole release. It has an A-list cast. The acting is more than adequate with Hopkins bringing those same hammy sensibilities left over from Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Instead, it’s a forgettable popcorn movie, passable for a rent. Well, at least it’s better than Teen Wolf.

Rating: **

From Paris With Love

From Paris with Love - Dir. Pierre Morel (2010)


Action impresario Luc Besson has been the man behind some of the genre’s best films such as The Professional and La Femme Nikita. Even the excessively garish Fifth Element had its moments. Besson rarely steps behind the camera these days, his output as a director waned after the failure of The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc which starred then-girlfriend, Milla Jovovich, as the title character. Aside from the fantastical rom-com Angel-A and the family-friendly Arthur and the Invisibles, Besson has been content to work as a writer and producer on other films including Unleashed and the The Transporter franchise. From Paris with Love is Besson’s latest actioner and it is directed by protégé Pierre Morel who helmed the parkour flick District B13 and the surprisingly excellent Taken. Morel does not complete the hat trick with the obnoxious and misogynistic From Paris with Love.

James Reece (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) is an assistant to the American ambassador in Paris. He secretly moonlights for the CIA, but his duties usually entail switching license plates and planting bugs. Pleading to become a field agent, Reece is given more than he’s bargained for when he’s paired with Charlie Wax (John Travolta). Wax is a violent, foul-mouthed, testosterone case, the loose cannon of loose cannons. Wax drags Reece along on a bullet-riddled journey into the Parisian underworld. They follow a trail from Chinese coke dealers to terrorists planning the bombing the U.S. Embassy.

As with Reece, we’re just along for the ride, a ride chock full of profanity and derivative action sequences where plenty of Asians and Arabs are shot to hell. The shootouts and fight scenes are a pale imitation of John Woo mixed with the shakycam and whiplash editing style that has become so trendy in a post-Paul Greengrass world. All these herky jerky techniques help hide the fact it isn’t Travolta doing most of the stunts.

Speaking of the film’s star, the former Vinnie Barbarino goes for the same shaved head and goatee look from the Pelham 123 remake. He also goes for the same grating and manic acting methods making previous over-the-top efforts (Face/Off, for example) seem downright minimalist. Travolta probably had fun making From Paris with Love, but he probably had fun making Battlefield Earth and Old Dogs, so what does he know?

Jonathan Rhys Meyers who was very good in Velvet Goldmine and I'll Sleep When I'm Dead struggles as the desk jockey turned wannabe-Bond. The Irish-born actor overplays his hand when it comes to an American accent.

Despite already being an assault on anyone with an iota of intelligence, the picture blatantly rips off other movies far better than itself. Besson and his co-writer Adi Hasak don’t even bother to be subtle about their plagiarism. Wax coerces Reece to snort a pinch of cocaine and the rookie begins tripping out during a car ride ala Training Day. In one of the film’s quieter scenes (a rarity), Travolta refers to a burger as a “Royale with cheese.” I bet someone was patting themselves on the back for that reference.

There are dumb action movies and then there are movies just plain dumb. From Paris with Love is the latter. It’s an idiotic and unoriginal mess that tries to be the kind of buddy action-comedy which went out of style after the 57th Lethal Weapon knockoff. It makes you weep for the days of nuanced fare like The Last Boy Scout.

Rating: *

The Blind Side

The Blind Side - Dir. John Lee Hancock (2009)


“The feel good movie of the year,” has been the go-to quote amongst cheesy film critics. Those same critics were probably falling all over themselves when The Blind Side was released. This film is the very definition of “feel good” and Oscar bait. Adapted from the non-fiction book by Michael Lewis, Blind Side is based on the true-life story of Michael Oher, an offensive tackle who currently plays for the Baltimore Ravens.

Michael Oher (portrayed by Quinton Aaron) grew up on the wrong side of the tracks in Memphis, Tennessee. His father, an ex-con ran out years ago, while his mother is hopelessly addicted to crack-cocaine. Michael, nicknamed “Big Mike” (for obvious reasons), bounced around schools and foster homes before being enrolled in a private Christian school. In class, he doesn’t say a word and tries to remain invisible. Homeless, he’s found wandering the streets in the rain by Leigh Anne Tuohy (Sandra Bullock) whose kids Collins (Lily Collins) and S.J. (Jae Head) attend the same school. Leigh Anne was a star cheerleader and her husband, Sean (Tim McGraw), was a collegiate basketball player and runs several Taco Bell franchises.

The Tuohys welcome Michael into their home, despite objections from Leigh Anne’s circle of well-to-do friends. The family hires a sassy tutor named Miss Sue (Kathy Bates) and everyone works together to instill confidence in Michael. Soon, he’s excelling academically as well as on the football field.

Michael Oher’s true life story is an interesting tale, but the film tells that story in the most uninteresting of ways. John Lee Hancock (who directed another inspirational sports film in The Rookie) directs the proceedings with all the flair of a Lifetime movie-of-the-week. Hancock also wrote the screenplay which (no pun intended) whitewashes the story in order to remain inoffensive to mass audiences. At least a film like Precious isn’t afraid to show the world with warts and all, but in The Blind Side even crack houses and gang infested ghettos look like nice places to live.

Sandra Bullock has become a staple of awards season this year. She’s become the first actress ever to be nominated for an Oscar (for this film) and a Razzie (for All About Steve) simultaneously. Most of the time, actresses are glammed down for award-winning performances. Instead, Bullock is glammed up as Leigh Ann with perfectly styled blonde hair and tan in the can skin. She has the country fried accent down and plays Leigh Anne as a force of nature.

When you hear lines like, ”I’m not changing his life…he’s changing mine,” you can’t help but just roll your eyes. Yet, it’s easy to see why The Blind Side would play in Middle America. The picture is a Hallmark card brought to life. This is a crowd pleasing movie with a happy ending and easy answers.

Rating; **

District 9

District 9 - Dir. Neill Blomkamp (2009)


Following the mammoth success of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, fanboys eagerly anticipated Peter Jackson’s next project. Their mouths salivated when it was announced Jackson would produce a big-budget blockbuster based on the mega-hit video game Halo. Jackson hand picked Neil Blomkamp, a special effects artist and commercial director, to helm the project based on a script by Alex Garland (28 Days Later). Could it be that someone would finally make a video game movie that didn’t suck? Sadly, we’ll never know. A co-production between Universal, Fox, and Microsoft, the proposed movie died due to escalating budgetary concerns and in-studio politics.

The collapse of the long-awaited Halo project has yielded something even better. Based on Blomkamp’s short film, Alive in Joburg, District 9 was shot documentary-style on a relatively low budget of $30 million. Much more than the excellent Moon (which only cost $5 million) and not even a drop in the hat compared to the juggernaut of Avatar.

An alien craft hovers above the city of Johannesburg, South Africa. Inside the ship are refugees from another planet. They aren’t cute and cuddly like E.T. They don’t have superpowers, they aren’t here to better mankind or to conquer the world. They are confused, lost, and frightened. The aliens, derisively nicknamed “Prawns,” settle outside the city in a ramshackle shantytown known as District 9. A private military company, MNU (Multinational United), is tasked with policing the aliens, but they’re more interested in the Prawns’ biometric weaponry.

Wikus Van De Merwe (Sharlto Copley) is an eager and officious employee for MNU. Mostly because he’s married to the boss’s daughter, Wikus is put in charge of MNU’s latest operation which calls for the relocation of the Prawns to a new refugee camp further away from civilization. While investigating a District 9 shack, Wikus is exposed to a mysterious liquid that slowly begins mutating him into an alien. MNU wants to dissect Wikus because the alien DNA in him can operate their technology. The same goes for Obesandjo (Eugene Kumbanyiwa), a Nigerian drug lord who believes consuming alien flesh in a ritualistic fashion will give him the power to do the same. Wikus’s only help comes from Christopher Johnson (Jason Cope) who distilled the liquid in the hopes of reactivating the mother ship and returning home.

The script was co-written by Blompkamp and Terri Tatchell, but the dialogue was all improvised. It’s a tricky proposition that’s handled incredibly well by the cast, especially the lead Sharlto Copley who has mainly worked in film as a producer. As Wikus, he isn’t a he-man superhero nor is he even an everyman hero; he’s more of a schmuck. He mugs for the camera during the opening like he’s Michael Scott on The Office.

As all good sci-fi is wanton to do, District 9 is filled with allegories involving xenophobia, immigration, human greed, and South Africa’s own history. The title of the picture comes from the Cape Town section of District 6 where over 60,000 minorities were forcibly removed by the government upon the institution of apartheid. Despite the highbrow themes, the third act turns into a series of special effects-laden action sequences. There have been many films that fail to live up to a great premise by descending into mindless violence, but District 9 isn’t one of them. The effects are realistic and incredibly well-done. The action is visceral and over-the-top but it’s hard not to enjoy all the exploding bodies and even death by flying pig. The power suits are way cooler than the ones in Avatar as are a lot of the weapons. You can see why Blomkamp was chosen to helm the proposed Halo flick.

If you missed District 9 in theaters, check it out on Blu-Ray. Shot in high definition digital, the film looks absolutely fantastic on BD.

Rating: ***

An Education

An Education - Dir. Lone Scherfig (2009)


The bourgeois, coming-of-age tale of a British schoolgirl isn’t exactly the type of film I rush out to the theaters to see. However, An Education was almost universally praised by critics and so I gave it a shot. I was surprised at how much I enjoyed An Education, but I shouldn’t have been. The cast is a collection of A-list British thespians and director Lone Scherfig helmed the Danish rom-com Italian For Beginners which I was equally surprised by, especially since it stuck out of the Dogme 95 movement like a sore thumb. I mean that as a compliment. The film was based on the memoirs of journalist Lynn Barber and the script was adapted by Nick Hornby, the author of High Fidelity and About a Boy, both of which were turned into films.

Carey Mulligan (22 at the time of filming) plays the 16 year-old, Jenny, who considers herself far too sophisticated for the boys at her school. She excels in her classes and is well on her way to Oxford. Jenny enjoys art, existentialism, French pop music and French film, none of which hold much interest for her friends or her decidedly middle-class parents (Alfred Molina and Cara Seymour). Her life forever changes on one fateful, rainy day when she and her cello are given a lift by the handsome David (Peter Sarsgaard). This dashing older man welcomes Jenny into his Bohemian existence. He introduces her to his best friend, the equally urbane Danny (Dominic Cooper), and his girlfriend, the dim Helen (the underrated Rosamund Pike). Jenny’s life becomes a whirlwind of art auctions, jazz clubs, concerts, and fancy restaurants. David even takes her to Paris.

And what do Jenny’s parents think? You’d figure they would blow the roof off their suburban home at the idea of a man dating their underage daughter. But, David pours on the charm and wins them over easily. He even convinces them he’s pals with C.S. Lewis. David’s proclivity for bending the truth should have been the first clue that something was up with him. Other clues stare Jenny right in the face when she witnesses David and Danny “liberate” an antique map from an old lady. However, David’s biggest secret isn’t discovered until the film’s heartbreaking climax.

Taking place in 1961, An Education is set at a time when Beatlemania and the swinging sixties London culture were still a long ways away. The duality between conservative post-war culture and forward feminist thinking is firmly in play here. Jenny’s father, in particular, wants nothing more than for his daughter to go to Oxford and make something of herself. Yet when David arrives, he sees a new opportunity. Why bother to spend thousands of dollars on university when he can marry her off right away?

Scherfig directs with an even hand with Jenny’s home and school portrayed in cold colors as closed places. This is in comparison to the warm and wide open spaces of Paris. Hornby has an excellent ear for dialogue, but it’s the cast who really pull the film together. Carey Mulligan deserves all the praise she has received for her star-making turn as Jenny. She’s witty, intelligent, yet vulnerable. With her hair done up, you can see a little of Audrey Hepburn in her, especially in the Roman Holiday-style sequence in Paris. Alfred Molina, known more for his villainous roles in films like Spider-Man 2, shows off his comedic chops as Jenny’s stuffed shirt father. Emma Thompson and Sally Hawkins, who shot their scenes in one day, add a level of gravitas despite their brief screen time. As David, Peter Sarsgaard is shockingly effective. His posh accent is so well-done, I had to double check his IMDB page because I didn't remember him being British.

An Education is a bittersweet story, one that is still full of life and romance.

Rating: ***

When in Rome

When in Rome - Dir. Mark Steven Johnson (2010)


Was it too much to hope that When in Rome would bring something new to the table to the stagnant romantic comedy genre? Considering the film was written by the team behind Old Dogs, David Diamond and David Weissman, the answer is an emphatic yes.

Kristen Bell is the archetypal female lead, a Type-A career woman. In this case, she’s Beth Harper, a curator for the Guggenheim. Sadly, no twenty minute shootouts ala The International occur in this film. She flies off to Rome to attend her younger sister’s wedding. Beth is a cynic about love and doesn’t give much of a chance to her sibling’s impending nuptials. However, Beth hits it off with Nick Beamon (Josh Duhamel), a dashing sports writer whose football career was cut short after being struck by lightning. No, really…

When Beth sees Nick kissing another woman, she gets drunk and stumbles into a fountain and pulls out four coins and a poker chop, believing she is liberating those wishes. Instead, the men (glorified cartoon characters) who tossed them in originally fall madly in love with Beth due to the magic of the fountain. They include Dax Shephard as a narcissistic male model, Jon Heder as a Criss Angel-looking street magician, Will Arnett as an Italian artist, and Danny DeVito as a sausage magnate. Hmm…I wonder if he knows Abe Froman, the Sausage King of Chicago.

These suitors stalk Beth all the way back to New York City. Nick is also making an attempt to woo Beth, but the question remains whether or not his love is real. As if you didn’t already know the answer.

I’ll give When in Rome a single shred of credit for not following the paint-by-numbers formula that all rom-coms do nowadays. No, Rome is a screwball comedy all the day and I doubt anyone has been clamoring for its return. I loved the classics like His Girl Friday, but the genre was laid to rest by Peter Bogdanovich’s homage, What’s Up, Doc?, and, aside from perhaps A Fish Called Wanda, the genre has been flatlining ever since. Not even the Coens could resuscitate it with Intolerable Cruelty and its star George Clooney failed as well with Leatherheads.

When in Rome won’t be heading up a revival anytime soon. The film uses only the broadest strokes in its lame attempts at slapstick humor. Nick falls down holes and bumps into things. Not for any reason, he just bumps into things because that’s supposed to be funny. You know your movie is in trouble when the best gag you can come up with is having your lead characters drive around town in a ludicrously tiny car. Another scene finds Beth and Nick dining at a restaurant where the lights are turned out and the wait staff wears night vision goggles. I’m sure it sounded funnier on paper (actually, it doesn’t), but the sequence is such a mess that you wish they had just shot the whole damn movie in the dark. One of the staples of the screwball comedy was witty, rapid-fire dialogue. There is none of that in When in Rome. Nope, we get characters who say, “My bad,” which got annoying two seconds after the first time it was ever said.

Kristen Bell, who was so good in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, doesn’t have much of a presence in the lead role. Duhamel is so bland as the romantic interest, you probably could have stuck any generic pretty boy (Paul Walker, I’m looking at you) into the role and it wouldn’t have made any difference. Jon Heder is the saddest of the bunch, still desperately trying to milk whatever is left of his Napoleon Dynamite fame.

When in Rome was directed by Mark Steven Johnson who also helmed Daredevil and Ghost Rider. Let’s just say, his contributions here won’t ever be compared to Howard Hawks or Preston Sturges. I do hope Johnson makes more films like this. If he keeps making crappy romantic comedies, he won’t be able to make anymore crappy comic book movies.

Rating: * ½

Legion

Legion - Dir. Scott Stewart (2010)


Throw another one onto the apocalyptic bonfire. A week after the release of The Book of Eli comes another end of the world action film. Zombies and vampires have had their turn, now here come the angels.

God has grown tired of mankind and orders his army of winged warriors to wipe them off the face of the Earth. One angel, Michael (Paul Bettany), disobeys his creator. He heads to the mortal realm, cuts off his wings, and loads up with automatic weapons. He makes his way to a diner called Paradise Falls in the middle of nowhere. There, he must protect Charlie, the waitress (Adrianne Palicki), and more importantly, her unborn child who is destined to lead humanity into greatness.

What transpires is a biblical version of John Carpenter’s Assault on Precinct 13 with Michael and a ragtag group of humans defending the diner from an onslaught of possessed humans and the vengeful angel Gabriel (Kevin Durand). Among those diners are Bob Hanson (Dennis Quaid), the hardnosed owner; his son Jeep (Lucas Black) who pines away for Charlie; Percy (Charles S. Dutton), the one-handed cook; Howard & Sandra Anderson (Jon Tenney & Kate Walsh) and their daughter Audrey (Willa Holland); and Kyle (Tyrese Gibson), a passer-by who asks for directions.

You’d think a movie about the end of days and angels with machine guns would be pretty exciting. Alas, Legion starts off strong, sags in the middle, and peters out at the very end. The film’s best and most memorable scene comes early when the diners are attacked by a little, old lady (“You’re baby is going to fuckin’ burn!”). Nothing else in Legion lives up to that moment. The movie grinds to a halt with a second act bloated by endless exposition and a half-assed attempt at character development with scene after scene of the diners getting to know each other. While admirable, their backstories are so clichéd that they still remain paper thin which means valuable smashing time is wasted with talk, talk, talk.

In the pantheon of angel movies, Legion is definitely superior to that horrible John Travolta film, but isn’t nearly as good as Wim Wenders’ classic Wings of Desire. Though Wings probably would have been even better if the angels in it had machine guns too.

Rating: * ½

Tooth Fairy

Tooth Fairy - Dir. Michael Lembeck (2010)


During Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s early wrestling career, fans detested his clean-cut, good guy character so much that they chanted, “Die, Rocky, Die.” The chant now should probably be, “Why, Rocky, Why?” Johnson may not be the most nuanced performer around, but he’s got a natural charisma which you can’t learn in acting school. It was an easy transition for The Rock to move from pro wrestling superstar to action hero. In The Rundown, Arnold Schwarzenegger popped up in a quick cameo to pass the proverbial torch to Johnson. “Have fun,” the Governator said. We still haven’t gotten that blockbuster film from Johnson, even if it looks like he’s having fun in his recent string of subpar, family comedies.

Johnson starred as a football player who has to learn what’s really important in life in The Game Plan. In Tooth Fairy, he’s a hockey player who has to learn what’s really important in life. Johnson is Derek Thompson who was busted down to the minors after a shoulder injury. With his NHL career over, he is now more than content with becoming a brutish enforcer nicknamed, “The Tooth Fairy,” because he knocks out opposing players’ teeth. Off the ice, Thompson romances single mom Carly (Ashley Judd) and attempts to bond with her children, Tess (Destiny Whitlock) and the cynical Randy (Chase Ellison).

After telling one child to “lower his expectations” and attempting to reveal that the tooth fairy isn’t real to Tess, Thompson is whisked away to Fairyland (seriously) where he is sentenced to work as an actual tooth fairy to pay his debts to society. In Fairyland, he meets his case worker, Tracy (Stephen Merchant), and the head fairy, Lily (Julie Andrews in full on Julie Andrews mode). Billy Crystal is there too doing a variation of Miracle Max from The Princess Bride as a fairy who provides Thompson with a bag of magical gadgets to perform his duties.

As a concept, Tooth Fairy has been floating around development hell since the mid-90’s. The script has passed through the hands of at least five different writers including the veteran team of Babaloo Mandel and Lowell Ganz (Parenthood, City Slickers). You’d think somewhere along the way, someone would have come up with something funny. Instead, we get lame gags like Thompson plummeting from a balcony because he can’t work his wings or trying to hide his tights from his teammates. We also get bad puns like, “That’s the tooth,” and “Fairy evolution? Who come up with that Charles Darwing?”

The concept itself is downright moronic. Thompson is told that Fairyland is in danger because kids have stopped believing in the Tooth Fairy. We never learn what exactly will happen nor do we learn why it’s so damn important to have these fairies around. And we still don’t know what the hell they do with all those teeth. Also, where exactly do they get the funding necessary to leave behind a dollar under all those pillows? Here’s another important question, who gives a shit about the Tooth Fairy? I guess with so many Santa movies, they were grasping at straws for another mythical character. Personally, I think the Tooth Fairy ranks well below the Easter Bunny and Hanukkah Harry.

Johnson is likable enough to save this mess from being a total loss. However, Tooth Fairy is the kind of inane movie that shamefully passes itself off as family entertainment. 2009 saw so many great family films with heart and intelligence (Coraline, Fantastic Mr. Fox, Up, Where the Wild Things Are) that it churns the stomach to see Hollywood take a step back with this nonsense. If you don't want your kid's teeth to fall out, don't feed them sugary junk food. If you don't want your kid's brain cells to fall out, don't take them to see Tooth Fairy. The tooth does indeed hurt. A painful experience on par with a gum scraping or root canal.

Rating: *

The Book of Eli

The Book of Eli - Dirs. Albert & Allen Hughes (2010)


The world has ended once again. In the past several months, it has been destroyed by zombies (Zombieland), vampires (Daybreakers), and Roland Emmerich (2012). This time around, we’re lucky enough to have Denzel Washington around to save us all. And if there’s anybody you want to have your back in a post-apocalyptic nightmare, it’s Denzel.

The landscape of Book of Eli has much in common with the recent Cormac McCarthy adaptation, The Road. This is a barren and desolate wasteland dotted by the rusting, abandoned husks of automobiles. Denzel is the archetypical hero of the Spaghetti Western. He is the mysterious, taciturn individual wandering what’s left of the world, armed with a machete and an iPod. He takes on the hijackers and cannibals who cross his path. He is the man with no name. Though the film is titled The Book of Eli, no one refers to him as such. The only reference is a tag in his backpack reading, “Hello, my name is Eli.” Some folks call him Walker because he walked into town.

Said town is ruled with an iron fist by the ruthless Carnegie, played with a villainous aplomb by Gary Oldman. He keeps his blind mistress Claudia (Jennifer Beals) under his thumb as well as her daughter Solara (Mila Kunis). Carnegie has his men searching the wastelands for a particular book and it becomes obvious he is on the hunt for a Bible. All known copies were destroyed following an alluded to war that decimated the world. Of course, Eli has it in his possession, reading it on a nightly basis.

As one of the only humans to remember what life was like before the end times, Carnegie knows the power of the book. He seeks to enthrall the masses with its words in order to rebuild the land in his image.

Rounding out the supporting cast are the Punisher Ray Stevenson as Carnegie’s right hand man, Michael Gambon and Francis de la Tour as elderly survivalists who’ve turned cannibal, and musician Tom Waits as a shopkeeper.

Don’t expect any deep philosophical debate about the influence of religion. Book of Eli has its feet firmly planted in the territory of genre film. It’s the kind of movie where Denzel quotes Scripture then decapitates a man with his machete. The Hughes Brothers debuted with the Boyz in the Hood contemporary, Menace II Society, but haven’t a film since From Hell, a poor adaptation of the Alan Moore comic which came out nearly a decade ago. While they’re keen on slow motion shots of Denzel striding confidently through a scene, the Hughes Brothers direct their action sequences with a strong hand. So many American directors chop action up into a jumbled mess with quick cuts, overly tight close-ups, and shaky cam. Here, the twin siblings allow us to actually see the fight scenes. The film’s first set piece is stylishly shot in silhouette with Denzel battling a gang of thugs underneath a bridge.

The script by Gary Whitta isn’t anything wildly innovate, but Denzel is charismatic enough that he could read the Yellow Pages for three hours and make it interesting. The same goes for Gary Oldman whose Carnegie is reminiscent of the crooked DEA agent from The Professional. Jennifer Beals and Mila Kunis look exceedingly gorgeous for two women living in a world without make-up or hair product, but I’m more than willing to accept that. What is hard to accept is the petite Kunis as badass, action heroine. It didn’t work in Max Payne (admittedly nothing worked in that damn movie) and it doesn’t quite work here. But, Denzel kicking ass for just under two hours is a more than satisfying experience.

Rating: ***