How to Lose Friends & Alienate People

How to Lose Friends and Alienate People - Dir. Robert Weide (2008)


Loosely based on the eponymous memoirs of Toby Young which recounted his rise and fall at Vanity Fair. A male alternative to the sudden glut of Devil Wears Prada knockoffs, How to Lose Friends tells the tale of an obnoxious jerk and his stint at the trendy (but fictional) Sharps magazine. Ironically, the real-life Young was banned from the set after endlessly annoying the cast and crew.

The film gets off to a fine start. Simon Pegg acting like an uncouth ass and pissing all over the celebrity world he so desperately wants to be a part of? Sure, sounds like good times. Sadly, whatever bite this production might have had is lost when its teeth are pulled in favor of a second half that’s cookie cutter rom-com.

It’s not for lack of trying. Pegg is his usual entertaining self. Gillian Anderson puts Scully out to pasture as a Machiavellian publicist, Thandie Newton has a fun cameo as herself, and Megan Fox is actually wisely cast as a vainglorious starlet. A mock trailer with Fox as Mother Theresa is right up there with Spidey and Iron Man as gay monks in Tropic Thunder.

Their efforts are all for naught when the film can’t make up its mind between no holds barred Hollywood satire and schmaltzy romantic comedy.

Rating: **

Blindness

Blindness - Dir. Fernando Meirellas (2008)

A mysterious epidemic has left humanity blind, except for Julianne Moore.

Blindness is tired allegory. Its symbolism is drummed home with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer. Unnamed citizens in an unnamed city (at an unnamed time) are rendered sightless and quarantined to a prison camp by the government. There, they fall prey to a former bartender who declares himself dictator. Just as the Joker predicted, "When the chips are down, these civilized people will eat each other."

The themes of Blindness are far too obvious to be effective. Society crumbles and eventually a few hopeful survivors must pick up the shattered pieces. An unsettling mass rape scene comes off as excessively exploitive. The characters are cardboard stock. There’s the wise, old man who dispenses sage advice and the precocious child the adults have to look after.

What Blindness does have going for it are an A-list cast who give it their all and strong direction from Meirellas. He brings the same visceral, bleached out look that he brought to City of God and The Constant Gardener.

Rating: **

Ghost Town

Ghost Town - Dir. David Koepp (2008)

Ricky Gervais sees dead people. All the time. They annoy him.

Gervais is an unlikely lead for a romantic comedy, but he’ll win you over through sheer force of will, with an impeccable sense of comic timing and a stammering charm. Koepp takes a break from writing mega blockbusters (Spider-Man, War of the Worlds) with this throwback to old school screwball comedies like Topper. Greg Kinnear does his best to step into Cary Grant’s shoes with his yuppie lounge lizard act while SNL’s Kristen Wiig makes a small, but hilarious, appearance.

Much like Run, Fatboy, Run (starring Gervais’ countryman, Simon Pegg), it is only the talented lead that is able to elevate a film that can’t quite escape its own cloying sentimentality. Would the movie have worked as well with anyone else in the lead? Doubtful.

Rating: ** 1/2

Appaloosa

Appaloosa - Dir. Ed Harris (2008)


Ed Harris & Viggo Mortensen as a pair of lawmen cleaning up a small town under the iron fist of a greedy landowner.

Appaloosa isn’t the artsy Western (The Proposition, Seraphim Falls) or the shoot ‘em up Western like last year’s 3:10 to Yuma. It lies somewhere in the middle, focusing on characters and relationships. In the parlance of the time, it’s a film that moseys along at a comfortable pace.

Is there anybody better to play the gruff, taciturn sheriff than Ed Harris? He has great chemistry (and a wealth of one-liners) with co-star Viggo Mortensen as his square-jawed deputy. Jeremy Irons rounds out the main cast with an always welcome turn as the murderous villain. If there is a weak spot to Appaloosa, it lies with Renee Zellweger as a piano playing widow who latches on to Harris’ Vigil Cole (and anyone else she deems the alpha male). Zellweger is usually a competent actress, but struggles whenever she’s cast in these period pieces. She doesn’t fit and I don’t buy for one second that every man in the film wants her.

Appaloosa is old hat, but it’s a well-worn and comfortable hat.

Rating: ***

Eagle Eye

Eagle Eye - Dir. D.J. Caruso (2008)


Shia LeBeouf is pegged as a terrorist and forced to jump through elaborate hoops by a mysterious Big Brother…er…Sister?

Eagle Eye is Hitchcock by way of Michael Bay. It’s a loud, overproduced, and movies a million miles a minute only stopping at brief, preordained moments to let out arbitrary scenes of emotion. A preposterous film that hopes you’ll buy into it with just enough technobabble and political preaching.

You know what? I did buy into it just a little. As a brainless popcorn movie, Eagle Eye works for its first two acts right up until an I, Robot-esque revelation in the villainous mastermind. I picked the Will Smith vehicle because I wouldn’t deign to write Eagle Eye in the same sentence as 2001.

Rating: ** 1/2

Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Vicky Cristina Barcelona - Dir. Woody Allen (2008)

Menage-a-trois of artsy fartsy Bohemian types.

Woody Allen riffs on material Pedro Almodovar covered long ago.

Dialogue is over-written even by Allen's standards. Feels forced and fakey.

Cassandra's Dream

Cassandra's Dream - Dir. Woody Allen (2008)

Desperate for money, 2 brothers commit murder-for-hire.

Strong performances not enough to elevate this maudlin & mediocre morality play.

Poor man's Before the Devil Knows You're Dead.

Vantage Point

Vantage Point - Dir. Pete Travis (2008)

Rashomon if it had been remade by a Michael Bay knockoff (McG, Simon West, I'm looking at you).

Cliched, derivative script full of stock characters tricked out by a gimmicky premise to fool you into believing you were watching something substantial.

Never Back Down

Never Back Down - Dir. Jeff Wadlow (2008)

Easy contender for worst movie of the year.

Beautiful, vapid people beating the crap out of each other without a mark to show for it.

Preaches non-violence while glorifying hedonism and unfettered brutality.

Step Brothers

Step Brothers - Dir. Adam McKay (2008)

Dewey Cox and Ricky Bobby are overgrown man-children.

Joke could have worked as a series of short SNL skits, but lacks the legs for a feature film.

Shorter run time and quicker pace would have made for a passable comedy.