Kill the Irishman

Kill the Irishman - Dir. Jonathan Hensleigh (2011)

"...if any of these maggots in the so-called mafia want to come after me, I'm not a hard man to find."

Cleveland is known as the home of the Indians and the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame. Most folks don't realize that the city was also known as a hotbed for the mafia back in the 70's. In fact, Cleveland earned the dubious nickname of "Bomb City, USA" due to the violent struggle between rival mob factions and their use of bombs as the preferred method of murder. Thirty-six explosions were set off in 1976 alone. Hip deep in the thick of things was an Irish gangster by the name of Danny Greene, who serves as the basis for Kill the Irishman, a fictionalized account of those violent events. Kill the Irishman was co-written and directed by Jonathan Hensleigh, who also wrote and directed The Punisher, starring Thomas Jane in the titular role. Oddly enough, the star of his newest film is Ray Stevenson, who took over as Marvel's premiere vigilante in the sequel/reboot, Punisher: War Zone.

Stevenson plays Greene as a physically imposing man with a barrel chest and a shock of strawberry blonde hair. His rise in the world of organized crime began as the head of the dockworkers' union. To consolidate power, Greene struck a deal with the Italians in exchange for goods pilfered from errant shipping containers. It was through this relationship that Greene met John Nardi (Vincent D'Onofrio), who would become one of his staunchest allies and the only Mafioso that actually liked the Irishman. A scathing news article exposed Greene's corruption and he was banned from the union for life. He escaped jail time by agreeing to become an FBI informant. In real life, Greene was one of the highest profile informants for the feds along with Whitey Bulger, the recently arrested mob boss who served as an inspiration for Jack Nicholson's character in The Departed.

Greene would eventually work as a leg breaker for notorious loan shark Shondor Birns (Christopher Walken). A sour business transaction would end their relationship and ignite a blood feud between a mafia desperate to retain control of the city against Greene's gang, which was quickly consolidating power. After surviving multiple attempts upon his life, including an explosion in his home, Greene brazenly dared the mob to come after him during a televised interview. Of course, the all good things must come to an end.

Kill the Irishman is a familiar story told in a familiar way and full of familiar faces. To put it bluntly, it's a knockoff of Scorsese films and assorted episodes of The Sopranos. Hensleigh recycles plenty of ideas from movies like Mean Streets and Goodfellas. There's a montage showing Greene's rise to power and chart-topping pop songs ironically contrasting violent scenes. The dialogue consists of clichéd tough guy lines like, "Your enemies are my enemies."

Pretty much anyone who has ever played a gangster is in Kill the Irishman. There's Walken, D'Onofrio, Paul Sorvino, Steven Schirripa, Mike Starr, Tony Lo Bianco, Robert Davi, Tony Darrow, and Vinny Vella, along with Vinnie Jones (sporting an awful looking tan and an even worse Irish accent) and Bob Gunton. Linda Cardellini takes on the Lorraine Bracco role of the put upon wife who can only stand by her man for so long. Finally, Val Kilmer appears as Det. Manditski, a former childhood acquaintance of Greene's who serves as narrator. This cast of noted character actors is the film's sole saving grace and serves as fine support for a strong performance by Stevenson. The former Titus Pullo imbues the role of Danny Greene with a natural charisma, even if the character is thinly written. Greene is painted as a Robin Hood figure and a blue-collar underdog in t-shirts and jeans defiant against the elitist Italians in their tailored suits.

Hensleigh adds to the authenticity by dotting the narrative with archival news footage of the actual events.

Kill the Irishman fails to live up to the renowned gangster pics it tries so hard to emulate. It's neither original nor memorable, but is worth a look because of a game and talented cast. Hey, Christopher Walken is always fun to watch.

Rating: ** (*****)

MacGruber

MacGruber - Dir. Jorma Taccone (2010)


"Fifteen seconds, MacGruber..."

Who ever thought Saturday Night Live would be a fertile source for movie ideas? The Blues Brothers and Wayne’s World have been the only decent films based off SNL characters. You can go on and on about the show’s failures, such as Night at the Roxbury, The Ladies Man, and Superstar, just to name a few. Despite numerous failures, they try again with MacGruber, a parody of the 80’s television series MacGyver. Like MacGyver, MacGruber (who was revealed to be his illegitimate son) attempts to defuse a bomb using common household items, but is always done in by his own incompetence and insecurities.

The film opens in Rambo III fashion with MacGruber (Will Forte) living a life of peace in a monastery in Ecuador. He is approached by his former commander Col. Faith (Powers Boothe) after the villainous Dieter von Cunth (Val Kilmer) has stolen a nuclear missile. Cunth is also responsible for murdering MacGruber’s wife (Maya Rudolph) on their wedding day.

Returning to action MacGruber recruits an elite team of WWE wrestlers to combat the terrorists. Only MacGruber accidentally blows them up with some homemade explosives. Instead, he’s stuck with Vicki St. Elmo (Kristen Wiig), an old friend now working as a songwriter who holds a torch for our hero, and the straight-laced Lt. Dixon Piper (Ryan Phillipe). Together, they must overcome their differences and stop Cunth from destroying Washington, D.C.

MacGruber was basically a one-note joke played over a series of three 90-second skits on his native show. The script for the film was penned by Will Forte, SNL staff writer John Solomon, and director Jorma Taccone who also helmed the digital shorts, Lazy Sunday and Dick in a Box. The creative team doesn’t try to stretch out the thin concept of the character. They pad it out by turning the picture into a parody of 80’s action films and 80’s culture in general.

MacGruber seems to be stuck two decades ago. He’s perennially clad in a checkered work shirt, khaki vest, mullet, and big aviator sunglasses. There’s a running joke with him carrying around an old school tape deck from his car. MacGruber makes love to Vicki in a Top Gun-esque montage set to Mr. Mister’s “Broken Wings.” The soundtrack also includes Toto’s “Rosanna” and Eddie Money’s “Take Me Home Tonight” for all the one-hit wonder fans. Unfortunately, the minds behind the movie don’t have the wit to maintain a continuous tone.

One moment MacGruber is portrayed as an utter stumblebum who is completely delusional about his prowess. The next moment, he’s ripping people’s throats out. Other jokes give lowbrow a whole new meaning. One gag involves MacGruber distracting his enemies by prancing around nude with a celery stick jammed up his ass. No, seriously. To their credit, the writers keep the obvious Cunth jokes to a minimum.

Kristen Wiig brings her usual nonplussed brand of humor to the film and Powers Boothe is always dependable as a character actor, but there’s not much either actor can add to the moronic proceedings. Poor Maya Rudolph is completely wasted. At least, Val Kilmer seems to have some fun.

Rating: *

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call - New Orleans

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call - New Orleans - Dir. Werner Herzog (2009)


”It’s my lucky crack pipe. You don’t have a lucky crack pipe?”

Abel Ferrera’s original Bad Lieutenant was a gritty, unflinching portrayal of a corrupt cop with themes of Catholic guilt and uneasy redemption. Harvey Keitel played the unnamed titular character with an uncompromising bravery in depicting the Lieutenant’s disturbing demons. Werner Herzog claims to have not been aware of the original film and his version is neither a remake nor a reboot. The script was written by William M. Finkelstein whose credits include a number of television shows such as L.A. Law, NYPD Blue, Law & Order, and…Cop Rock. Under the unwieldy title of Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call – New Orleans, Herzog crafts a film that isn’t so much disturbing as it is an oddball black comedy hinged around the human medical experiment known as Nicolas Cage.

Cage’s eccentric, idiosyncratic performances have been both lauded and blasted by critics. At his insistence, he ate a live cockroach in Vampire’s Kiss (it was supposed to be a raw egg) and his ”Not the bees!” act in the Wicker Man remake has become popular YouTube fodder. Here, Herzog manages to harness the innate weirdo in Cage into a calculated craziness that is utterly compelling.

”What are these fucking iguanas doing on my coffee table?”

Cage is Terence McDonagh, a police detective in New Orleans shortly after the city was savaged by Hurricane Katrina. During the storms, he rescued (though after much debate) a prisoner trapped in his cell as the water rose dangerously high. McDonagh suffers a back injury that leaves him addicted to painkillers and other drugs. It’s highly doubtful, however, that he was that nice of a guy before the injury. Awarded a medal and promoted to lieutenant, McDonagh is put in charge of a homicide case where a Senegalese family was murdered by local drug dealer Big Fate (rapper Xzibit). When he’s not investigating, McDonagh is stealing narcotics from the evidence room and suffers from addled hallucinations of iguanas. He’s deep in gambling debts and inadvertently pisses off a vengeful mobster. When McDonagh is investigating the case, he strong arms a wheelchair-bound, old lady by cutting off her respirator and waving a .44 Magnum in her face. One night, he rousts a pair of club kids and finds a miniscule amount of drugs on their person. He forces the boyfriend to watch as he smokes crack and bangs his girlfriend on the hood of his unmarked police car.

McDonagh has a high-class prostitute girlfriend, Frankie (Eva Mendes), who he eventually hides out with his father. Dad (Tom Bower) is a recovering alcoholic who lives with his ever-soused wife (Jennifer Coolidge) in a mansion in the woods. On the outside, the home is like something out of a Tennessee Williams play, but inside it has all the dark, gloomy charm of a double-wide trailer.

”Shoot him again. His soul is still dancing.”

Cage is at his bug-eyed best in Bad Lieutenant. He lumbers about in a stooped stride like he’s the love child of Dirty Harry and Quasimodo. His voice sometimes drifts into a high-pitched tone similar to the Pokey-inspired voice Cage put on in Peggy Sue Got Married. McDonagh is an ugly human being perfectly at home in the underbelly of a city still struggling to rebuild following a devastating natural disaster. While Cage goes as over-the-top as he possibly can, he’s balanced out by the understated performances of Eva Mendes, Val Kilmer as a fellow detective, and classic character actor Brad Dourif as McDonagh’s pony-tailed bookie.

Herzog adds a surreal touch to the picture with a reptilian fetish that includes a strange, yet haunting, scene at a traffic accident with a gator lying in the middle of the road with its intestines on the asphalt and a single leg twitching. There’s also an interlude of extreme close-ups of iguanas set to Johnny Adams’ “Release Me.”

Port of Call is at its weakest during the third act. The film’s resolution comes out of left field with its happily-ever-after denouement. Everything seems to end for the better and you keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Is this a happy ending or another one of McDonagh’s crack-induced fever dreams? Honestly, the story is secondary to watching Nic Cage at his Nic Cage-iest.

Rating: ** ½