Sharknado 2: The Second One

Sharknado 2: The Second One - Dir. Anthony C. Ferrante (2014)

Once upon a time, they were known as the Sci-Fi Channel. Then, they became SyFy and attempted to diversify their programming with reality shows and WWE wrestling. Throughout it all, one thing has remained constant with SyFy and that is the cheesy, made-for-TV monster of the week movies. D-list celebrities like Antonio Sabato Jr. or Lorenzo Lamas are forced to do battle with mutated insects are monsters resurrected from the prehistoric age. The majority of these movies treated themselves deadly serious, despite the fact that they were met with a round of chuckles. It took a while before SyFy got in on the joke and the tipping point was probably Sharknado.

Improbably, the low-budget picture about a tornado full of sharks launched itself into the pop culture stratosphere. No surprise that a sequel, Sharknado 2: The Second One was immediately greenlit.

In case you missed it, Sharknado featured Ian Ziering (of Beverly Hills 90210 fame) as Fin Shepard, a surfer who saved Los Angeles from the threat of a tornado that had swept through the Pacific Ocean and spread bloodthirsty sharks throughout the city. Fin even managed to win back the heart of his ex-wife April (Tara Reid). The sequel begins with Fin and April on a flight to New York City as part of their book tour for the best-selling How to Survive a Sharknado. Suddenly, the plane hits bad weather…bad weather filled with man-eating sharks. Faster than you can say, William Shatner, Fin spots a shark on the wing, but nobody believes him. Heck, he hardly believes it himself. How can the same thing happen to the same guy twice?

The weather becomes even deadlier as two tornadoes threaten to converge in the heart of Manhattan. Fin must not only save the city, but his family as well. His sister, Ellen (Kari Wuhrer), and niece, Mora (Courtney Baxter), are visiting the Statue of Liberty while her husband, Martin (Mark McGrath), takes in a Mets game at Citi Field.

Sharknado wastes no time in getting the carnage going. Whereas the first film had to introduce the protagonists and the concept of the sharknado, the sequel starts right away with sharks being scooped up by Mother Nature. The prologue is basically Sharks on a Plane though Ian Ziering never shouts, "Get these motherf'n sharks off my mother'fn plane." What a missed opportunity. There's a lot more ridiculousness to follow with Martin and his son immolating sharks with super soakers filled with napalm. Or how about Tara Reid replacing her left hand (which was bitten off by a shark) with a buzzsaw?

The popularity of the original Sharknado meant that numerous celebrities were knocking on SyFy's door, each one looking to be a part of the film. Sharknado 2 includes cameos by Wil Wheaton, Andy Dick, Kurt Angle, Kelly Osbourne, Biz Markie and Jared from Subway. You've also got Matt Lauer, Al Roker, Kelly Ripa, and Michael Strahan all portraying themselves. The movie is loaded with just as many winks and nods to other movies and TV shows. Judd Hirsch has a brief role as a cab driver in a reference to his role on Taxi while Robert Hays captains another doomed flight ala Airplane. Fin's family is named Martin and Ellen Brody with Billy Ray Cyrus popping in as a doctor named Quint.

By no means is Sharknado 2 a cinematic classic. The special effects are horrendous and most of the actors are just as bad with Tara Reid being particularly wooden. The screenplay by the gloriously named Thunder Levin makes several sad attempts at fleshing out his one-dimensional characters. Levin wastes valuable shark chomping time with an unrequited love story between Ziering and Vivica A. Fox.

Rating: ** (*****)

American Reunion

American Reunion - Dirs. Jon Hurwitz & Hayden Schlossberg (2012)

In 1999, American Pie was a smash hit thanks to an assortment of lowbrow gags that have become ensconced into pop culture consciousness. Movie fans will never forget the sight of Jason Biggs humping a warm apple pie or the shapely Shannon Elizabeth stripping to her undies. Universal certainly raked it in as the film made over $235 million worldwide off a scant $11 million budget. The studio was quick to strike while the iron was hot with two sequels and a string of direct-to-video spinoffs with Eugene Levy as the only original cast member. After nine years since the last Pie picture was released theatrically, Universal resurrects the franchise with American Reunion.

Jim (Biggs) and Michelle (Alyson Hannigan) are happily married with a son, but find it difficult to be intimate with one another. Following in the tradition of its predecessors, Reunion opens with the hapless Jim caught in an embarrassing situation as he attempts to pleasure himself. The couple hopes that their upcoming thirteenth high school reunion will give them a chance to reignite the flame. By the way, I know tenth, fifteenth, and twentieth anniversary reunions are a thing, but the thirteenth doesn't seem that big a deal. In any event, Jim is excited to see all his old buddies again. His plans are crimped when he has to fend off the amorous advances of Kara (Ali Cobrin), a high school senior he once babysat.

Kevin (Thomas Ian Nicholas) has become a successful architect and a slightly domesticated husband. Oz (Chris Klein) is now an NFL analyst for a cable sports network with a young supermodel girlfriend in Mia (Katrina Bowden). He's also the butt of a few jokes for his appearance on a Dancing with the Stars-type reality show. Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas) dropped off the radar, but returns just in time with tales of traveling the world. Then, there's Stifler (Seann William Scott), who the others have been trying to avoid because he hasn't changed much.

Nearly everyone from the first film has returned in some small fashion with John Cho & Justin Isfeld as the MILF Guys, Chris Owen as the Sherminator, Natasha Lyonne as Jessica, and Shannon Elizabeth as Nadia. They are joined by new cast members Dania Ramirez, as a former band geek turned hottie, and Rebecca De Mornay (who still looks stunning at 52) as Finch's Mom.

The reins of the franchise have been handed off to Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg, the writers behind the Harold & Kumar series. If anyone knows potty humor, it's them. However, the jokes just aren't funny or as outrageous as previous installments or even movies like 21 Jump Street or Knocked Up. Time has just passed them by. We get the requisite boob shots when Jim is forced to sneak an unconscious and naked Kara into her house without her parents knowing. Another prominent gag finds Stifler defecating into a cooler.

This wouldn't be too much of a problem if the character moments had any semblance of depth. Poor Thomas Ian Nicholas generally gets the short end of the stick as the writers struggle to find anything interesting for his character. In a rehash of American Pie 2, Kevin has an awkward encounter with his ex, Vicky (Tara Reid). Oz goes through the same thing with his former flame, Heather (Mena Suvari). These storylines highlight just how terribly written the female characters are in Reunion. They are either thinly drawn lovesick girls or nymphomaniac party skanks with the exception of Alyson Hannigan, who really deserves better. The one B-story that yields some fruit belongs to Levy as Jim's Dad, who looks to get back into the singles game following the death of his wife. He winds up romancing the original MILF, Stifler's Mom (Jennifer Coolidge).

As Thomas Wolfe once wrote, "You can't go home again." The central theme of American Reunion is all about living in the present without looking back at the past through rose-colored lenses. If only the filmmakers took those same lessons to heart, then we wouldn't get this bland and humorless sequel that simply did not need to be made.

Rating: * ½ (*****)