Sunday, December 23, 2012

Stolen

Stolen - Dir. Simon West (2012)


When Liam Neeson's daughter is kidnapped, she's taken. When it's Nic Cage's daughter, she's stolen.

Stolen is the latest piece of cinematic schlock starring Nicolas Cage, who just cannot say 'no' anymore. Cage returns to New Orleans, his stomping grounds for past films Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call – New Orleans and Seeking Justice. Here, Cage plays Will Montgomery, the brains behind a bank robbery gang that includes Vincent (Josh Lucas), Hoyt (perennial character actor M.C. Gainey), and blonde bombshell Riley (Malin Akerman). His latest heist is boosting $10 million all while the gang is under surveillance by the FBI. The job might have gone down smoothly if Vincent hadn't tried to kill a janitor who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Will saves the man's life and leads the cops on a merry chase as his cohorts escape. He serves eight years in prison and returns to find his now-teenage daughter, Alison (Sami Gayle), wants nothing to do with him.

Vincent has also returned to kidnap Alison, locking her in the trunk of a stolen cab moving through the city. In exchange for the girl, Vincent demands the return of the $10 million. Poor Will burned all the money before being arrested to receive a lesser sentence. The feds don't buy his story and with no other choice Will enlists the aid of Riley for another heist to get the ransom.

Stolen is a low-rent effort for Simon West, who just came off The Expendables 2 and previously worked with Cage on Con Air, an enjoyably mindless flick from the Bruckheimer action factory. For all the shootouts and car chases, Stolen remains utterly lifeless. The script by David Guggenheim (who also wrote Safe House) is rife with plot holes and feels slapped together at the last minute. Apparently, nothing in New Orleans has changed in the eight years of Will's incarceration.

Even in his worst pictures, Cage can be an entertaining train wreck when he's allowed to be unleashed. Unfortunately, there's nothing for Cage to latch onto with such a bland protagonist. The only thing remotely resembling a Cage-ism is the character's penchant for listening to Creedence Clearwater Revival. If only he could have switched roles with Josh Lucas, who starred in another movie titled Stolen in 2009. Once a handsome bad boy, Vincent went off the deep end and resurfaces as a disheveled psycho with one leg. That's the kind of scene chewing part that could have given us another in a long line of loony Nic Cage performances.

Wasting away in the supporting cast are Mark Valley and Danny Huston as the FBI agents assigned to watch Will. For some reason, Huston spends the entire movie wearing a pork pie hat like he's Popeye Doyle.

If only someone had stolen the original negatives for Stolen and burned them. This is such a stinker that it makes you long for more masterful Nic Cage works like Season of the Witch or Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance.

Rating: * (*****)

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