In How Do You Know, James L. Brooks attempts to answer the question of how do you know when you're in love. Instead, Brooks' latest picture answered the question of how do you know when Hollywood spending is out of control – when you've spent over $100 million to make a romantic comedy. Nearly half of that budget went to the inflated salaries of the principal players. Reese Witherspoon received $15 million while Jack Nicholson was paid $12 million for what is essentially a minor supporting role. Brooks and Owen Wilson both received $10 million, but poor Paul Rudd got the shaft. Despite being the lead actor, Rudd only walked away with $3 million. After all the dust settled and the checks cashed, How Do You Know limped away from opening weekend with just under $7.5 million.
Witherspoon plays Lisa Jorgensen, a softball player who has just been cut from the U.S. Olympic team. Having turned 31, the coach feels she's past her prime. With little else going on in her life, Lisa finds comfort in a simple, undemanding relationship with Major League Baseball pitcher, Matty Reynolds (Owen Wilson). At first blush, Matty seems to be the typical, all-star athlete. He's got a multi-million dollar contract, an immaculate penthouse apartment, and women crawling all over him. He even has a closet full of pink track suits to give to his lady friends the morning after. Yes, he's a little self-centered and chauvinistic, but Matty is so obliviously sweet-natured that it's hard to hate the guy.
Paul Rudd is George Madison, a businessman working at some nebulous firm run by his father, Charles (Nicholson). His life crumbles suddenly when he faces federal charges of securities fraud. At least, that's what I think it was. Whatever George did or didn't do isn't very clear. In fact, it's never clear what he does at the firm or what the firm even does. George's and Lisa's paths cross after an aborted blind date. When they finally meet, George finds Lisa is just what he needs while Lisa struggles with which guy to pick.
After watching How Do You Know, you'll wonder how in the Hell this dreadful movie could have come from the same filmmaker do wrote and directed Terms of Endearment, Broadcast News, and As Good As It Gets. Not to mention a man who has been a producer and driving force behind The Simpsons. The story is filled with contrivances and feels like some terrible, unfunny pilot for some awful sitcom, except this won't die after half an hour. The usually dependable Rudd can't elicit even a modicum of chuckles. He's forced to play the bland, nice guy that usually gets dumped at the end of every crappy romantic comedy. The whole subplot involving George's legal situation comes off as some half-assed commentary on the current financial crisis. It goes nowhere and you wonder if Brooks did any sort of research at all into that world. Nicholson just sleepwalks through a role that was originally offered to Bill Murray who wisely declined. Tony Shalhoub is utterly wasted in a one scene cameo as a therapist.
I will give kudos to Brooks for digging up Mark Linn-Baker to play the firm's company lawyer. Baker will probably forever be remembered as the other guy on Perfect Strangers, the one who wasn't Balki. Hey, how do you know a movie is bad? When you'd rather talk about Perfect Strangers.
In the end, I can only offer How Do You Know two meager compliments: Janusz Kaminski's cinematography is excellent, effectively capturing slick, big city life and Reese Witherspoon is the best she's ever looked.
Rating: * ½ (*****)
