Vice

Vice - Dir. Bryan A. Miller (2015)

Bruce Willis has a pretty good track record when it comes to science fiction. 12 Monkeys, The Fifth Element, and Looper have all been great films, but 2009's Surrogates was instantly forgettable. Vice won't exactly be a bright spot on Willis's resume or anyone else's. This is direct-to-video dreck that remorselessly rips off Westworld and Blade Runner. There's a little bit of Total Recall in here too and the filmmakers surely would have cribbed more from Philip K. Dick had they added an extra zero to the budget.

The former Moonlighting star plays Julian Michaels, the impresario behind Vice, an exclusive resort where the high-paying clientele whatever debauchery they desire. Thanks to the latest advances in robotics and genetic engineering, Vice is staffed by "residents," life-like androids implanted with false memories, but real emotions. They can bleed and feel pain in order to make the experience more realistic should someone choose to live out their most violent fantasies. That's where maverick police detective Roy Todesky (Thomas Jane) comes in. Todesky believes that Vice only fans the flames of depravity. The lines between reality and fiction are blurred and visitors of Vice start getting freaky in the real world.

Kelly (Ambyr Childers) is a resident programmed to be a bartender when she's gunned down by a visitor. While undergoing a routine memory reset, Kelly becomes self-aware as she relives every one of her deaths. After Kelly escapes from the facility, Michaels orders his forces to capture her before everything he's built begins to unravel.

Vice posits the age-old hypothesis over how violent media (specifically video games) affect someone's ability to distinguish between reality and fiction. The Vice resort is essentially a live-action version of Grand Theft Auto, an open world game that encourages players to commit all manner of crimes. If you were expecting any sort of intelligent discussion on the subject in Vice, then prepare for disappointment. This film is way more concerned with gunfights and explosions. Besides, the issue was already raised in Neveldine/Taylor's Gamer. When the guys who made the Crank films do a more subtle job with social commentary, you know you're in trouble.

The script by Andre Fabrizio and Jeremy Passmore (San Andreas) is bogged down by leaden exposition while consistently taking the least interesting path forward. Despite her male co-stars receiving top billing, Ambyr Childers is actually the protagonist of the picture, except she spends much of the movie as a damsel in distress or the recipient of overlong explanations. When Kelly receives a Matrix-style upgrade and you anticipate she'll finally jump in on the action, she throws a couple punches and that's it. Also, if you're hoping for an ultimate showdown between John McClane and The Punisher, prepare for another disappointment. Willis can barely muster an iota of energy for his role to the point he's practically narcoleptic. Jane, at least, seems to realize the B-grade material he's taken part in and hams it up accordingly.

Vice is the type of film where someone can deliver a line like, "You're 'this' close to losing your badge," without a hint of irony. It's a derivative chore and one would be better served watching the movies Vice rips off rather than the movie itself.

Rating: * (*****)

L!fe Happens

L!fe Happens - Dir. Kat Coiro (2012)

With her unconventional looks, actress Krysten Ritter has often been cast as the best friend. The fair-skinned beauty with the jet black hair has appeared in that role in films like Confessions of a Shopaholic and She's Out of My League. Sometimes you just have to take the initiative when it comes to scoring the lead. That's what we have here with Life Happens or as it is officially (and annoyingly) titled, L!fe Happens. Along with actor/director Kat Coiro, Ritter co-wrote the film, which mines the always hilarious topic of unplanned pregnancy.

Kim (Ritter) and her best friend, Deena (Kate Bosworth), are ready for a wild night of sex, but only have one condom between the two of them. Deena snatches the last prophylactic, leaving Kim to "raw dog" it with an Australian surfer (Rhys Coiro). A year later, Kim is a single mom with a son named Max and a job as the assistant to Francesca (Kristen Johnston), a wealthy socialite with an aversion to children. Kim tolerates Francesca's abrasive attitude in the hopes she will invest in her idea for a shopping mall catering exclusively to dogs. She also has a hard time meeting guys, who are all scared off by the mere sight of a baby.

While partaking in the trendy nightlife of L.A., Kim meets a handsome fellow named Nicolas (Geoff Stults). Afraid of losing another one, she tells him that Max is Deena's son. Now, Kim has to balance her professional life with motherhood and a personal life built around a seemingly harmless white lie.

L!fe Happens labors its way through a story riddled with clichés and strained attempts at humor. The movie tries way too hard to earn its R-rating with raunchy humor in an effort to copy the lucrative Apatow formula. One sequence sees Kim lactating on Nicolas during intercourse while the dialogue leaves us with gems like "douche-nozzle," although, they earn bonus points for making a reference to The Night Porter. There's hardly any chemistry between Ritter and Stults, plus there is a distinct lack of wit to their banter. The filmmakers also shoehorn in a third roommate played by Rachel Bilson. She's one of those indie characters who is quirky for quirky's sake. Bilson is a proud virgin forced to work humiliating jobs as a lingerie wearing valet or a human sushi platter. The rest of the screen time is filled out with a B-story involving the smart, feminist Deena romancing one of Nicolas's idiot friends. Never mind that the entire movie is nullified by the simple act of stopping by a 24-hour CVS.

The only time I managed to perk up during L!fe Happens was a random appearance by Seymour Cassel in the very minor role of Kim's grandfather.

If you're wondering how L!fe Happens stacks up against Knocked Up, Juno, or even Baby Mama, the answer is not very well. L!fe Happens lacks the humor and the heart of those pictures.

Rating: * (*****)