The Film Geek Blog

The Thing

2012-01-28T00:07:00.000-08:00

The Thing - Dir. Matthijs van Heijningen Jr. (2011)

Until recently, John Carpenter had been persona non grata since the abysmal Ghosts of Mars, a sci-fi version of his earlier action flick, Assault on Precinct 13. For a while, he seemed content with collecting royalty checks as Hollywood studios churned out big-budget remakes of his beloved cult classics. Assault was remade along with The Fog and Halloween. A remake of Escape from New York has long been in development and there have been rumblings of a new version of They Live. Now, Universal Studios brings us The Thing, which will make Carpenter fans pray nobody decides to remake Big Trouble in Little China.

The 2011 Thing isn't a straight remake. In fact, the filmmakers even stated that remaking Carpenter's film would be akin to drawing a mustache on the Mona Lisa. Makes you wonder why they did it anyway. No, this is more of a prequel and a loose remake using its predecessor as a template. Carpenter's movie was a more faithful adaptation of John W. Campbell's 1938 novella, Who Goes There?, which was originally turned into a film by Howard Hawks. That 1951 version, The Thing From Another World, had more in common with Invasion of the Body Snatchers than it did the source material.

Carpenter's 1982 movie begins at an American research base in Antarctica as its inhabitants witness the strange sight of a pair of Norwegians trying to shoot a sled dog. Unbeknownst to anyone there, the dog is actually an alien creature that can take the form of any person or animal it kills. The prequel delves into the tragic events that befell the scientists at the other base and how the alien was set loose.

At the nearby Thule base, the Norwegian researchers have discovered a massive alien spacecraft hidden underneath the snow for centuries. They've also discovered a dormant biological being frozen in the ice. Head scientist Dr. Sander Halvorson (Ulrich Thomsen) is extremely excited about the notoriety that will surely follow. Halvorson and his assistant, Adam Finch (Eric Christian Olsen), recruit paleontologist Dr. Kate Lloyd (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) to assist in the excavation of the alien. Of course, the thing breaks loose and picks the humans off one by one with the survivors never sure of who is really who.

The rest of the cast includes: Joel Edgerton and Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje as gruff American pilots and an assortment of Norwegian actors that aren't likely known outside their home country.

The 2011 version was directed by newcomer Matthijs van Heijningen Jr. and written by Eric Heisserer, who also penned Final Destination 5 and the remake of The Nightmare on Elm Street. Whereas the Carpenter and Hawks films were allegories of Cold War paranoia, neither van Heijningen nor Heisserer are particularly interested in subtext or parables. Their Thing is a straightforward and pedestrian horror movie. While Carpenter's Thing relied on the gruesome practical effects by Rob Bottin, the prequel gleefully trots out a heavy amount of CGI. The old axion of "Less is more," applies here as the more we see of these computer effects, the less convincing they are.

The prequel also breaks up the sausage fest that was the Carpenter version by introducing female characters. Mary Elizabeth Winstead is cast as a tough female protagonist modeled after Ellen Ripley. There is something cool and arousing about seeing Winstead forcefully wielding a flamethrower to battle the beast. Sadly, she doesn't get much to work with and doesn't display half the charm she did as Ramona Flowers in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. None of the other characters are fleshed out either and are simply there to increase the body count. It also hurts that they don't have someone with a strong screen presence like Kurt Russell and Keith David in the original. They also don't have Wilford Brimley, another huge strike against it.

The Thing pales in comparison to the John Carpenter cult classic. It's proof that just because you have more money and better toys, doesn't mean you'll make a better picture. Despite its mediocrity, The Thing might serve as a decent appetizer for a double feature with the Carpenter version as the main course.

Rating: ** (*****)

Underworld: Awakening

2012-01-27T11:00:00.000-08:00

Underworld Awakening – Dirs. Bjorn Stein & Mans Marlind (2012)

How do you like your vampires? Do you prefer them to be bloodsucking creatures of the night? Or pale and sparkly pretty boys? If you like them to be hot chicks in skintight vinyl, then Underworld: Awakening might satisfy your vampiric appetite.

Kate Beckinsale returns to the role of Selene, a vampire over 600 years old. Known as a Death Dealer, she was one of the best warriors in the vampires' conflict with the werewolves also known as Lycans. During the first two films, Selene fell in love with Michael Corvin (Scott Speedman, who declined to reprise the role), a human who was transformed into the first ever vampire/Lycan hybrid.

Awakening is set not long after the second film with the humans becoming aware of the existence of vampires and Lycans. Attempting to flee the city, Michael is seemingly killed and Selene is captured. She is placed in cryogenic stasis by a pharmaceutical company called Antigen. She is awakened twelve years later by another test subject named Eve (India Eisley), who is actually her daughter grown in a laboratory. In this new world, the Lycans have been hunted almost to extinction and the remaining vampire covens are in hiding.

Other characters include: Stephen Rea as Antigen's CEO Dr. Jacob Lane,; Charles Dance as the leader of one of the last vampire clans; Theo James as his whip wielding son; and Michael Ealy as a sympathetic police detective.

It's not much of a compliment, but Underworld: Awakening is the superior film in the series. The first two films were dull and bogged down by a convoluted mythology. The third film, Rise of the Lycans, was a glorified direct-to-video picture that delved even further into the boring backstory. Awakening is a lean, mean action machine directed by the Swedish team of Mars Marlind and Bjorn Stein. There's not a lot of plot, but plenty of sequences with Beckinsale slipping on a trenchcoat in slow motion and leaping off tall buildings before landing in an overly dramatic way. Yes, she looks pretty damn sexy when she's unloading a pair of Berettas.

Despite being rather thin, the screenplay is credited to a quartet of writers that includes Len Wiseman (who directed Underworld & Underworld: Evolution, Jon Hlavin, Allison Burnett, and J. Michael Straczynski. Awakening was probably a quick and easy payday for everyone involved. The story owes a lot to the Resident Evil franchise with the female protagonist, semi-futuristic dystopian setting, and a shady conglomerate as the villain. The dialogue is terrible and you're just counting the seconds before shit starts blowing up again.

Don't expect anything new from the Lycans. They are the same as ever, snarling creatures rendered by iffy CGI. The best anyone could come up with is a giant Jurassic Park-sized werewolf that can swat Selene away with ease.

By the way, I saw the movie in plain old 2D. Considering the film's look hinges on a dark and icy blue palette, I doubt it would be very watchable in 3D.

Much like, Contraband, another recent Kate Beckinsale picture, Underworld: Awakening is a prime example of the detritus generally released without much fanfare at the beginning of the year. Fans of the other installments will get their money's worth. I just find it sad that people would rather see this than Haywire.

Rating: ** (*****)

Contraband

2012-01-26T22:30:00.000-08:00

Contraband - Dir. Baltasar Kormákur (2012)

Stupid 9/11 comments aside, I like Mark Wahlberg. As evidenced by this turns in The Happening and The Lovely Bones, he's not a nuanced thespian capable of heavy drama. But, he is an underrated comedic performer and a convincing big screen tough guy. Much like Vin Diesel or Jason Statham, Walhberg could be a more prolific action star if he found better roles. Instead, he's content for run-of-the-mill pictures like Shooter, Max Payne, and now Contraband.

Contraband is a loose remake of a 2008 Icelandic crime thriller called Reykjavik-Rotterdam whose star, Baltasar Kormákur is the director of the Hollywood version. Wahlberg plays Chris Farraday, a former smuggler who has gone legit and works as an installer of home security systems in New Orleans. Kate Beckinsale is his wife, also named Kate, and they have two sons together.

Kate's dumbass kid brother, Andy (Caleb Landry Jones), is still involved in the smuggling business. Now, he owes $700,000 to a violent gangster named Tim Briggs (Giovanni Ribisi) after tossing a shipment of cocaine into the water during a surprise customs search. Chris is forced to intervene when Briggs not only threatens the Andy, but his whole family. Chris assembles a small crew on board a cargo ship in order to smuggle $15 million in counterfeit bills from Panama to pay off the debt.

Contraband is formulaic through and through. This is your basic "one last job" movie where the protagonist must pull off a big heist for a massive payday. Murphy's Law always seems to rear its ugly head and no plan ever comes off without a hitch. In Wahlberg's case, he has to deal with a crooked captain (J.K. Simmons) and a psycho crime lord (Diego Luna) who ropes him into an armored car robbery.

There's not much here to differentiate Contraband from the numerous pictures just like it. I do like that the hero is a smuggler rather than an overused profession like a bank robber or hitman. The bulk of the film is set on the cargo ship, which is another unique setting. Yet, Contraband doesn't delve deeper into either element. It's not interested in the intricacies of the smuggling trade, just generic shaky cam action sequences.

J.K Simmons is pretty much the best thing in the movie, bringing much welcomed humor to the role of the uptight captain. Giovanni Ribisi goes way over the top as a tatted up scumbag with a nasally voice. Ben Foster co-stars as Chris's best friend, Sebastian, who has also gone legit and is a recovering alcoholic. Foster is intense as usual, but with an understated quietness. There is a twist to his character that anyone can see coming a mile away. Finally, there's poor Kate Beckinsale. If you want to see her kicking ass, watch Underworld: Awakening. If you want to see Beckinsale in the thankless role of damsel in distress, see Contraband.

Contraband isn't a terrible movie, but it is indicative of the generic flotsam dumped by the studios during the uneventful early part of the year.

Rating: ** (*****)

Rampart

2012-01-24T07:01:00.000-08:00

Rampart - Dir. Oren Moverman (2011)

"I am not a racist. The fact is, I hate everyone equally."

Screenwriter Oren Moverman made a strong directorial debut with 2009's The Messenger, a heavy drama with Woody Harrelson and Ben Foster as army officers charged with notifying families that their loved ones were killed in action. In my opinion, it was one of the best films of the year and netted Moverman an Oscar nomination for Best Original Screenplay and Harrelson one for Best Supporting Actor. Moverman and Harrelson have teamed again for Rampart, a gritty drama set during the Rampart scandal of the late-90's.

The LAPD became notorious nationwide for the infamous beating of Rodney King. They again rose to public consciousness following the uncovering of widespread corruption in the anti-gang unit of the Rampart Division. Charges included bribery, falsifying evidence, armed robbery, and drug dealing.

Amidst the chaos, we meet Officer Dave Brown (Harrelson), a former Vietnam vet, who sees the streets of L.A. as his new battleground. Rampart opens in a seemingly conventional manner with Brown berating a female trainee (played by Julian Schnabel's daughter, Stella) for refusing to eat french fries because she is on a diet. But, this is not a retread of Training Day. The rookie isn't seen again and the rest of the film becomes a trip into an urban Dante's Inferno with its protagonist descending deeper and deeper into the pit.

Dave Brown is definitely the bad cop. He has earned the nickname, "Date Rape Dave," because he allegedly murdered a business partner suspected of multiple rape. A former law student, he can cite obscure legal precedent off the top of his head. He failed the BAR exam, but it's obvious it wasn't due to a lack of intelligence. It seems Brown was more interested in cracking heads.

He's also the patriarch of an unconventional little family. Brown has two ex-wives (Anne Heche & Cynthia Nixon), who happen to be sisters and live next door to each other. He has a daughter with each of them and, with the exception of the youngest girl, they all hate his guts. When Brown fails to get in bed with one sister, he moves on to the next one.

Brown ignites another scandal after a hit-and-run collision that sees him chase the suspect and mercilessly beat him with his flashlight. The incident is captured on video and played endlessly on the news. Already under scrutiny, Brown is hammered by investigators from Internal Affairs and the D.A's office. Needing cash to support his family and his legal defense, Brown robs a high stakes poker game and kills an unarmed man, forcing him to cover up yet another crime.

The cast also includes: Steve Buscemi as the District Attorney, Ben Foster as a homeless vet, Brie Larson as Brown's angry teenage daughter, Ned Beatty as a retired cop and confidant, and Sigourney Weaver and Ice Cube as investigators against Brown.

Woody Harrelson really carries the film. Rampart is seen entirely from Dave Brown's perspective and Harrelson appears in every scene. Harrelson isn't afraid to make Brown a nasty and sometimes pathetic individual. Yet, he's charismatic and articulate so it's easy to see why he's able to bed a number of women night in and night out. It's too bad this great character wasn't given a more compelling story.

There's strong storytelling in the first half of Rampart, but the second half of the movie unravels. The narrative drifts into a series of plot threads that never seem fully formed. One subplot that doesn't go anywhere involves an on/off romance between Brown and a defense attorney played by Robin Wright. There's nothing of note here unless you want to hear Wright state that she likes to "suck cock."

Moverman is struck with the sophomore slump that has befallen many independent filmmakers before him. Despite a magnetic performance by Harrelson, Rampart deals with issues, such as police corruption and their effects on the soul and family, that have been seen numerous times in film and television. The script feels like an entire season of The Shield condensed into an hour and forty minutes.

Rating: ** (*****)

The Sitter

2012-01-21T22:00:00.000-08:00

The Sitter - Dir. David Gordon Green (2011)

What happened to David Gordon Green? His career as a director got off to a strong start with George Washington and All the Real Girls. He continued his streak of small town dramas with Undertow and Snow Angels, before making a leap into the mainstream with the stoner action-comedy Pineapple Express. Green not only showed talent for riveting indie flicks, but also a flair for zany and raunchy comedy. At least, he did with Pineapple Express. Unfortunately, the well seems to have run dry as evidenced by Green's latest R-rated comedies. Your Highness was a critical and commercial flop that just barely made half of its meager $50 million budget. Green closed the year on another sour note with The Sitter, which will likely only be remembered as the last appearance of the overweight Jonah Hill.

Hill plays Noah Griffin, a college student on suspension. He's content to lay on the couch at his mom's house with no intentions of getting a job or any serious plans for the future. He decides to actually do something nice for his mom (Jessica Hecht) and babysit a trio of kids so she can enjoy a night out. Noah is put in charge of Slater (Max Records), a nervous bundle of neuroses; Blithe (Landry Bender), a wannabe celebutante wearing heavy make-up and a tutu; and their adopted sibling from El Salvador, Rodrigo (Kevin Hernandez), who enjoys blowing things up with fireworks.

Noah has a pseudo-girlfriend in Marisa (Ari Graynor), who asks him to bring her some cocaine for a party in exchange for sex. Thinking with his cock, Noah sets out into the seedier boroughs of New York City with the children in tow. Noah buys the coke from Marisa's dealer, Karl (Sam Rockwell), a bipolar eccentric who employs scantily clad bodybuilders in his drug lab. Karl also transports his narcotics inside dinosaur eggs, one of which is stolen by Rodrigo. Trying to get laid is the least of Noah's problems now that he has gangsters out to kill him.

Much like Pineapple Express, The Sitter features a mixture of raunchy, lowbrow humor along with mild action and chase sequences. Gordon doesn't handle the latter well as he fails to imbue these scenes with the same energy he did with Pineapple Express. Not all the blame falls on the director's shoulders. The majority of the film's faults lie with the script by Brian Gatewood and Alessandro Tanaka, who are also penning the upcoming remake of Baywatch, which will surely top year-end worst lists should it ever be released.

Gatewood and Tanaka practically plagiarize a bunch of 80's comedies with the spine of the story lifted from Adventures in Babysitting, plus a dash of Uncle Buck with Hill filling the role of a modern day John Candy. There's even a William Zabka-type in Marisa's ex-boyfriend, a blonde kickboxer with the oh-so-80's name of Ricky Fontaine (Jack Krizmanich). The rest of the movie's humor relies solely on broad stereotypes, like jive talking African-Americans who don't like white people and a flaming gay guy on roller skates.

The Sitter is a poorly conceived pastiche of derivative ideas and unfunny gags. Hill is called upon to simply reprise his Superbad persona and after his understated performance in Moneyball, it's disappointing.

Rating: * (*****)

Dirty Girl

2012-01-20T21:33:00.000-08:00

Dirty Girl - Dir. Abe Sylvia (2011)

Dirty Girl had the buzz needed to become the next indie darling. The screenplay by first time filmmaker Abe Sylvia made the Black List, a 'best of' list for unproduced screenplays, in 2007. When Dirty Girl premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival in 2010, the Weinstein Company reportedly rushed to acquire it for $3 million. Not a surprise considering the story is a coming-of-age tale and an adventurous road trip, two staples of indie cinema, and features a sassy, strong-willed female protagonist. However, Dirty Girl didn't get much of a push in the end. It was only released in a handful of theaters in October for about five weeks and now hits shelves on DVD only.

Set in 1987, the movie follows Juno Temple as the titular 'dirty girl,' Danielle, a high schooler brazen in her defiance and sexuality. Both attributes are frowned upon in the relatively conservative town of Norman, Oklahoma. After mouthing off to a teacher, Danielle is sent to the remedial class where she meets with Clarke (Jeremy Dozier), a shy, overweight and bullied boy struggling with his homosexuality. The two are paired together for a parental assignment requiring them to care for a sack of flour as if it were a real baby.

Incidentally, are kids really given these projects where they have to care for eggs or dolls? Is this purely a sitcom invention or is it a legit scholastic requirement?

Anyways, despite Danielle's misanthropy, the two teens bond over the fact that they both come from dysfunctional homes. Danielle doesn't fall far from the tree. Her mother, Sue-Ann (Milla Jovovich), is a knockout, heavily caked in make-up with a Farrah Fawcett-style feathered hairdo. She's the type who would rather be a big sister than a mom. Against her daughter's vehement objections, Sue-Ann is set to marry a straight-laced Mormon (William H. Macy) looking to save their souls from damnation. Clarke lives in fear of his homophobic and abusive father (Dwight Yoakam), who forces him to attend awkward therapy sessions and threatens to ship Clarke off to a military academy. Clarke's mom, Peggy, (Mary Steenburgen) is too meek and fearful to do anything about it.

Clarke ends up stealing dad's Cadillac for a road trip to California when Danielle discovers a picture of her father in an old yearbook.

Dirty Girl isn't an autobiographical film though Sylvia did grow up in Oklahoma as an awkward and closeted teen. He didn't have the problems Clarke did as his parents were hippies from California. Still, it doesn't seem like Sylvia particularly enjoyed his time in the Sooner State as Dirty Girl alternately acts as a parody and middle finger to Middle America and conservative values. Dirty Girl may be set in the 80's, but it looks like the 70's, a sly dig at how behind the times everyone is. The school faculty and William H. Macy's Mormon are portrayed as uptight and buffoonish.

The film's soundtrack is decidedly 80's as it features familiar tunes like Bow Wow Wow's "I Want Candy" and Pat Benatar's "Shadows of the Night." There's even a striptease with Clarke strutting about the stage in an oversized sweatshirt ala Jennifer Beals in Flashdance. Melissa Manchester acts as the picture's muse with nine of her songs sprinkled throughout the narrative, including an original tune, "Rainbird," which she co-wrote with Mary Steenburgen).

Juno Temple, daughter of director Julien Temple, plays the role of Danielle with gusto. Listening to her Southern twang, you'd never guess she's a Brit. Temple portrays Danielle as a firebrand unrepentant about her promiscuity. She's not the most likable character due to the way she profanely berates Clarke and Sue-Ann. Newcomer Jeremy Dozier turns in a good performance in which he never crosses the line into a gay stereotype. Mary Steenburgen is also wonderful as Clarke's quiet and caring mother. The best performance in Dirty Girl surprisingly belongs to country singer Tim McGraw as Danielle's father, who underplays it during a heartbreaking sequence with Temple.

Not all of Dirty Girl works as well as the powerful first meeting between Danielle and her dad. Sylvia struggles with giving his film a unique voice as the story plays out in a similar manner to so many other indie flicks. The tone wavers between ribald humor and the sentimentality of an afterschool special. The cleverest gag you'll find comes from the changing expressions drawn on the face of Danielle and Clarke's little bundle of joy as it reacts to the situation her "parents" find themselves.

Despite some strong points, Dirty Girl is too scattershot and derivative to recommend. Juno Temple and Jeremy Dozier are entertaining enough, but the story unfolds in a broad and sappy manner best described as Juno meets Little Miss Sunshine by way of Glee.

Rating: ** (*****)

Young Adult

2012-01-19T10:45:00.000-08:00

Young Adult - Dir. Jason Reitman (2011)

Director Jason Reitman and screenwriter Diablo Cody shot to prominence when they first teamed up for the teen pregnancy comedy Juno. Though Reitman had already made his feature film debut with Thank You For Smoking, Juno was undoubtedly his biggest success. It was Cody's first produced screenplay for which she won the Academy Award. Reitman followed it up with the superior dramedy Up in the Air while Cody unfurled the critically reviled horror-comedy Jennifer's Body. Reitman and Cody put the band back together for Young Adult, a film that is the absolute antithesis of Juno.

Where Juno was a snappy and breezy comedy about a teen more mature than some of the adults around her. Young Adult is a darkly humorous tale of an adult trapped in a self-destructive, adolescent mindset.

Charlize Theron plays it to the hilt as Mavis Gary, a ghost writer for a teen lit series that serves as an obvious nod to Cody's next project, an adaptation of Sweet Valley High. She lives in a high rise apartment in Minneapolis where she spends much of her time chugging Diet Coke out of a 2-liter bottle, keeping up with the Kardashians on TV, and struggling to finish her latest book.

One day, she receives an email from the wife of her high school boyfriend announcing the arrival of their new baby. In her twisted mind, Mavis sees this as a challenge and returns to her small hometown of Mercury to rescue her ex from his marital prison. Said beau is Buddy Slade (Patrick Wilson), who certainly seems happy in the role of husband and father. Nevertheless, nothing will deter Mavis from her mission, not even the common sense advice of another former classmate, Matt Freehauf (a perfectly cast Patton Oswalt).

They meet in a bar and it takes a while for Mavis to jog her memory, despite the fact that Matt's locker was right next to hers. Nicknamed by Mavis as the "hate crime guy," Matt was the victim of a brutal beating by the jocks, who were under the mistaken belief that he was gay. The attack has left him with a permanent limp. Much like Mavis, he doesn't have much of a life. He lives with his sister, Sandra (Collette Wolfe), where he customizes action figures and brews homemade bourbon he calls the "Mos Eisley Special Reserve."

Young Adult shatters the unwritten rule of Hollywood that the protagonist must be sympathetic and likable. One character aptly describes her as a "psychotic prom queen bitch." She is the proverbial mean girl, who has returned to make life hell for everyone around her. Mavis is thoroughly self-centered and borderline delusional. She avoids her parents and isn't particularly nice to Matt, the one person who seems to tolerate being in her presence. The only other friend she has is her little Pomeranian, Dolce, and Mavis winds up ignoring him too.

The relationship between Mavis and Matt could hardly be categorized as a friendship. They more or less fall into a co-dependent symbiosis. Deep down inside Matt still fawns over Mavis and it's obvious he gets a kick over finally gaining the notice of the popular girl. For Mavis, she likes the attention and, perhaps, she sees in him someone just as broken as she is.

Though blonde and statuesque, Mavis is a white hot mess in a Hello Kitty t-shirt and proof positive that beauty is only skin deep. Theron doesn't need the extra weight or make-up to bring out the ugly in Mavis the way she did for Aileen Wuornos in Monster. She's almost a pitiable person and a gut wrenching revelation at the most awkward of times peels back the layers in her complex personality. It's at this point that Young Adult cleverly goes against conventions. Just when you think Mavis may change for the better, she has a one-on-one chat with Sandra that reinforces her narcissistic point of view. Hey, I am better than these people so fuck 'em.

Diablo Cody's dialogue isn't the hyper-stylized speech found in Juno. The writing is more subdued. The one line that is clearly Cody-esque comes when Mavis refers to a combination KFC/Taco Bell/Pizza Hut as a "KenTacoHut."

The soundtrack to Young Adult accentuates Mavis's rose colored nostalgia by utilizing a veritable smorgasbord of alternative rock hits from the early-90's. There's the Lemonheads, Dinosaur Jr., 4 Non Blondes, and Veruca Salt. Listen closely and you'll hear subtle instrumental versions of Soundgarden and Pearl Jam by Juno composer Mateo Messina. The opening credits feature a series of extreme close-ups of the inner workings of a cassette and tape player as Mavis throws in an old mixtape of Buddy's for the road trip. She listens to Teenage Fanclub's "The Concept" incessantly as the lyrics, "I didn't mean to hurt you..." repeat over and over as the movie's unofficial theme.

Jason Reitman and Diablo Cody have boldly crafted a character study of a wholly unsympathetic person, who does not grow or learn over the course of the film. Young Adult shines as a black comedy that derives humor from cringe-inducing moments and the incredible performance from Charlize Theron.

Rating: *** (*****)

We Bought a Zoo

2012-01-15T20:41:00.000-08:00

We Bought a Zoo - Dir. Cameron Crowe (2011)

The holidays are usually a great time for Hollywood to unleash schmaltzy, family friendly entertainment to the masses. This past Christmas was no different with the release of Steven Spielberg's War Horse and Cameron Crowe's We Bought a Zoo. Both directors had been incognito for several years, but have returned with a vengeance.

Crowe wrote and directed one of his most critically acclaimed films in Almost Famous, based on his experiences as a teenage journalist for Rolling Stone. However, Vanilla Sky, his remake of Alejandro Amenabar's Open Your Eyes, met with mixed reactions and his rom-com Elizabethtown was a critical and commercial flop. Crowe's recent output includes a documentary on Pearl Jam and one on Elton John and this drama based on Benjamin Mee's memoirs, We Bought a Zoo: The Amazing True Story of a Young Family, a Broken Down Zoo, and the 200 Wild Animals That Changed Their Lives. A columnist for the Guardian, Mee, purchased the troubled Dartmoor Wildlife Park in 2006, which he ran with his wife (who later passed away from a brain tumor), brother, two children, and mother.

For the first time, Crowe isn't the sole credited writer. He rewrote the screenplay originally penned by Aline Brosh McKenna, who also adapted The Devil Wears Prada and I Don't Know How She Does It. Crowe transplants the story from foggy England to sunny Southern California and casts Matt Damon in the role of Benjamin Mee, a writer who has just lost his wife to cancer. Benjamin is left alone to care for his young daughter, Rosie (Maggie Elizabeth Jones), and teenage son, Dylan (Colin Ford). Dylan deals with the death of his mother by drawing gruesome pictures in art class and is eventually expelled for stealing.

Looking for a change, Benjamin quits his job and purchases an 18-acre farmhouse outside the city that actually houses a ramshackle zoo. The zoo is maintained by a skeleton crew led by the spunky Kelly Foster (Scarlett Johansson) and is home to a variety of species including tigers, peacocks, a lion, and a depressed grizzly bear. Rosie predictably falls in love with the place while Benjamin sees it as a new adventure, but Dylan hates it there, despite a budding romance with Kelly's shy cousin Lily (Elle Fanning). Kelly isn't enthusiastic either, seeing the new owner's lack of knowledge and experience as a severe detriment. Benjamin has to mend his broken family and rally everyone together in order for the zoo to pass inspection. Can they pull it off or will the zoo be shut down forever?

If you have any doubts in your mind, then We Bought a Zoo must be the first movie you've ever seen. Crowe sticks to a well-worn formula with characters drawn in broad strokes. Rosie is precociously precocious and Dylan is the typical angry and brooding adolescent. The supporting characters are similarly thin with Angus Macfadyen as the angry Scotsman, John Michael Higgins as an unctuous zoo inspector, and Almost Famous lead Patrick Fugit as the guy with a monkey. Seriously, that's his character, he has a monkey.

Music has always played an important role in Crowe's films. Aside from a serene score by Sigur Rós frontman Jónsi, Crowe's soundtrack selections are way too obvious, just as obvious as a subplot involving a tiger with failing kidneys that's meant to echo Benjamin's spousal loss. Tom Petty's "Don't Come Around Here No More" comes on when Dylan gets kicked out of school while a rain soaked montage is set to "I Think It's Going to Rain Today" by Randy Newman. "Don't Be Shy" by Cat Stevens becomes the theme for the awkward and budding romance between Dylan and Lily, which comes close to replicating the iconic love stories of the 80's that Crowe became famous for.

We Bought a Zoo has some strong points. Matt Damon is infinitely likeable in the lead role, Elle Fanning gives another solid performance, and Thomas Haden Church injects some much needed wit as Benjamin's brother. You'll definitely get a warm and fuzzy feeling thanks to cinematographer Rodrigo Prieto (21 Grams, Brokeback Mountain), who gives the film a bright, sunny sheen. However, it doesn't feel like a Cameron Crowe movie. There are no "You had me at hello" or John Cusack holding up a boom box moments. In the end, We Bought a Zoo is an innocuous little picture that might have aired on the Disney Channel on a lazy weekend afternoon.

Rating: ** (*****)

War Horse

2012-01-14T18:16:00.000-08:00

War Horse - Dir. Steven Spielberg (2011)

It's been three years since Steven Spielberg's last directorial effort in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. He returned with a vengeance at the end of 2011 with his two latest pictures hitting theaters within days of each other. They couldn't be any more different. The first was The Adventures of Tintin, a kinetic boys' adventure utilizing the latest in motion capture animation and released in 3D. The other, War Horse, is an old-fashioned epic shot in 35mm that references numerous Hollywood classics.

War Horse is based on a 1982 children's novel by Michael Morpurge, which was adapted into an award-winning stage play in 2007. Spielberg attended a show and was inspired to turn it into a movie with help from screenwriters Richard Curtis (Bridget Jones' Diary, Love Actually) and Lee Hall (Billy Elliot). Each permutation chronicles the events of World War I as seen through the eyes of a courageous horse.

The film opens in Dover, England with Albert Narracott (Jeremy Irvine) enraptured by a newly born colt. Albert lives in a farmhouse with his mother Rose (Emily Watson) and father Ted (Peter Mullan), a Boer War veteran trying to wash away his traumatic memories with alcohol. Ted rashly purchases the colt for triple his worth mainly to spite his overbearing landlord (David Thewlis), who rightly points out that the horse is too small to plow fields. It was born for show, not work. However, a determined Albert bonds with the newly named Joey and gets him to plow their rocky land. When a rainstorm washes away their crops, Ted has no choice but to sell Joey to the British army in order to pay their overdue rent.

Joey is put into the care of Captain Nicholls (Tom Hiddleston) and marches into battle alongside Maj. Stewart (Benedict Cumberbatch) and his black stallion Topthorn. After a failed charge against a German regiment, the horses are put into the care of two underage boys, Gunther (David Kross from The Reader) and Michael (Leonard Carow) serving in that same unit. From there, Joey and Topthorn wind up in the possession of an ailing French farm girl (Celine Buckens) and her doting grandfather (Niels Arestrup). Meanwhile, Albert enlists in the military as soon as he comes of age in hopes to be reunited with his beloved friend.

War Horse represents Steven Spielberg at his best and his worst. It is an extremely well-crafted film gorgeously shot by Janusz Kaminski. The visuals are impeccable with numerous striking shots that capture the horrors of war and the beauty of the era. War Horse begins in an idyllic countryside that Spielberg has accentuated and romanticized in the way John Ford did with the countries of Wales in How Green Was My Valley and Ireland in The Quiet Man. The film culminates with a beautiful shot of silhouetted figures against a blazing orange sunset ala Gone with the Wind. Another shot features a battlefield strewn with the corpses of soldiers and horses which also recalls that same picture.

Spielberg can't help but go for the jugular when it comes to the film's most emotional moments. No heartstring is safe as Spielberg puts children and animals in peril in an attempt to wring every tear from every eye in the audience. If you didn't know how to feel about a certain scene, John Williams' overwhelming and hammy score will make sure to tell you. One of the best sequences in War Horse is an episode where Joey runs over and through the British trenches and gets tangled up by barbed wire in no man's land. One soldier from both sides declares a temporary truce to cut him loose. It's a touching moment, but Spielberg can't end the scene without the German calling Joey a "remarkable horse." This is a point Spielberg feels needs to be hammered home every fifteen minutes.

The acting is solid with Spielberg putting together an excellent cast of English and European thespians. Jeremy Irvine doesn't make much of an impression as Albert and he tends to overplay it during the more emotional moments. Tom Hiddleston and Benedict Cumberbatch turn in solid performances as the stiff upper lip British officers. The best performance in the film belongs to Peter Mullen as Albert's defeated father. Mullen probably isn't familiar to most American audiences, but he's appeared in darker, powerhouse roles in The Red Riding Trilogy and Paddy Considine's directorial debut Tyrannosaur.

War Horse attempts to be a treatise on the brutality of war as well as an uplifting family friendly drama and Spielberg has a difficult time blending the two. The episodic nature means the tone changes from All Quiet on the Western Front to National Velvet without notice. Maybe I'm cynical, but Spielberg's saccharine sentimentality didn't play well with me.

Rating: ** ½ (*****)

Catch .44

2012-01-09T14:00:00.000-08:00

Catch .44 - Dir. Aaron Harvey (2011)

Catch .44 is proudly advertised as a film done in "the tradition of The Usual Suspects and Pulp Fiction." These were two of the most critically acclaimed films to come out of the mid-90's. The only thing Catch .44 has in common with them is that it feels like a movie that might have been released over fifteen years ago after Quentin Tarantino hit it big and a whole slew of wannabe filmmakers began aping his approach with stylish crime films about cool gangsters spewing hip dialogue.

Catch .44 begins with a trio of bad girls named Tes (Malin Akerman), Dawn (Deborah Ann Woll from True Blood), and Kara (Nikki Reed from the other vampire saga, Twilight) having a conversation in a diner in the middle of nowhere, Louisiana. The gals are waiting for their boss Mel (Bruce Willis), who wants them to stick up a drug shipment being run by a rival gangster. When he doesn't show up at the specified time, they draw guns and initiate a shootout. The story flashes back to how our heroines got to the diner as well as delving into the background of their leader Tes. Meanwhile, an odd hitman named Ronny (Forest Whitaker) has killed a local deputy, swiped his uniform, and is making his way to the diner.

As it turns out, Tes used to be a waitress at a sleazy strip club where she earned extra cash by swiping the wallets of the clientele. She gains the attentions of Mel, the club's owner, who puts her to work in some vague capacity. How she moves from pickpocket to gun-toting enforcer is never really explained. Instead, the narrative sprinkles in these flashbacks while showing more and more of the shootout, which culminates in an extended and poorly staged Mexican standoff.

The cast also included Brad Dourif as the town sheriff, Shea Wigham as the cook, and Smallville's Michael Rosenbaum as an obnoxious club patron.

Catch .44 doesn't get off to a strong start with Malin Akerman pontificating about faking it and women trying to live in "man land." The scene is a pretty blatant ripoff of the diner scenes from Reservoir Dogs and Death Proof. At least, Tarantino was clever enough to write dialogue about Madonna or some obscure 1970's television show. First-time writer/director Aaron Harvey cannot come up with anything more interesting than lines about leaving the toilet seat up. The QT imitation continues as Harvey introduces his main characters via freeze frame and bold yellow titles lifted right out of Kill Bill or Inglourious Basterds. Harvey also drowns his film with familiar pop songs by the Raveonettes and the Kills. And, yes, he uses "U.R.A. Fever," which seems to appear in every other movie these days. Harvey also chooses the not-so-subtle "Queen Bitch" by David Bowie for Tes's intro. In a bizarre bit of kismet, Tes purchases a cassette copy of Bruce Willis's The Return of Bruno from a gas station and jams out to "Respect Yourself." Apparently, the joke was written into the script long before the filmmakers ever dreamed of casting Willis in the picture.

Speaking of John McClane, he looks rather bizarre as Mel the mobster. Sporting a bleached blonde soul patch and bad skin complexion, Mel struts around his mansion in a bathrobe while munching on pecans. That perfectly sums up just how deep the characterizations are in Catch .44. Everything is thinly sketched out with quirks and tics in place of fleshed out personality traits. For example, Ronny speaks with a faux Tony Montana accent while Kara always has her earbuds on.

Imagine if someone took the diner segment from Pulp Fiction and expanded it into a full-length movie, but sapped it of any life or originality. Wait, you don't have to Aaron Harvey did just that with Catch .44, a derivative direct-to-video bore that could have been cut and pasted from the pages Tarantino tossed into his recycle bin.

Rating: * (*****)

Killer Elite

2012-01-08T23:00:00.000-08:00

Killer Elite - Dir. Gary McKendry (2011)

The 80's were a wonderful time for action movies. Arnold, Sly, and Bruce Willis ruled the silver screen with Chuck Norris, Jean-Claude Van Damme, and Steven Seagal close behind them. For a while, it seemed as if those larger-than-life, macho movie heroes fell out of favor. Arnold went into politics, Sly's career derailed, and Norris became a Texas Ranger on TV while Seagal and Van Damme faded into direct-to-video obscurity. Only Willis managed a diversified oeuvre taking roles in pictures like Pulp Fiction and The Sixth Sense. Today, the one person who has been able to take up the mantle of old school action hero is Jason Statham. He's carved out a comfortable niche as a scruffy, steely-gazed badass in films like The Transporter and The Expendables.

Statham is once again called upon to break necks and cash checks as a hired assassin in Killer Elite. It's a role he's very familiar with having already played a hitman in Crank and The Mechanic. This time around, he's got a fantastic co-star in Robert DeNiro and a pair of tough adversaries in Clive Owen and his moustache.

Killer Elite is not to be confused with 1975's The Killer Elite, another movie about assassins that was directed by Sam Peckinpah. This Killer Elite is loosely based on The Feather Men, a 1991 novel by Sir Ranulph Fiennes that is purported to be a recounting of true events, which were largely debunked as pure fabrication. Despite the controversy, Killer Elite still advertises itself as "Based on a true story."

The film cleverly begins with a title stating that the story is set during a time of political instability and economic turmoil. No, it's not today, but 1980. Statham is Danny Bryce, a hitman on assignment in Mexico with his long-time friend and mentor Hunter (DeNiro), Davies (Dominic Purcell), and Meier (Aden Young), an expert in explosives and mechanics. A routine hit almost turns tragic when Danny inadvertently kills the target right in front of his young son. Danny decides to give up the game and retires to a quiet farmhouse in the Australian countryside with his girlfriend Anne (Yvonne Strahovski).

A year later, Danny is called back into action when Hunter is captured by Sheikh Amr (Rodney Afif), a deposed Omani ruler living in exile. Three of the Sheikh's sons were killed by soldiers in the British SAS during the Dhofar Rebellion. Danny must track down the murderers, tape their confessions, and make their deaths look like accident. In doing so, Danny will secure the release of Hunter and be paid a sum of $6 million. Reuniting with Davies and Meier, Danny finds their first target, Sgt. Steven Harris (Lachy Hulme), still living in Oman. However, their not-too-subtle search catches the attentions of ex-SAS officer Spike Logan (Clive Owen), who is employed by the Feather Men, a secretive conclave of former SAS men turned semi-legitimate businessmen.

As evidenced by the use of "Rock You Like a Hurricane" in the trailers, Killer Elite is meant to be something of a throwback to the 80's action movies, but with a modern touch. Director Gary McKendry, in his feature-length debut, goes for a toned-down Paul Greengrass-style approach. The action sequences are done at a frenetic pace with quick cuts and a lot of camera movement, but never descend into a nauseating mess.

Fans of Jason Statham will be pleased as he gets to do a little bit of everything. He's leaping across rooftops and getting into fistfights, shootouts, and car chases. He also has some decent scenes with DeNiro, even if their lines don't sparkle off the page. While any DeNiro is good DeNiro, you can't help but feel that the legendary actor is slumming here. Owen acts as a fine foil for Statham in a showdown of the British tough guys. Just like Danny, Spike isn't an out and out villain though his moral compass points towards a grey area. He also sports a cheesy moustache, yet it doesn't compare to the walrus 'stache and bushy sideburns worn by Dominic Purcell.

What drags Killer Elite down isn't the direction or the cast, but the run-of-the-mill script by Matt Sherring. The dialogue is full of manly clichés like, "This ends today," and "The rules? There are no rules." Sherring also offers up some interesting ideas, but doesn't have the wherewithal to follow through. The Feather Men might have made cool villains, except they are virtually dropped from the story by the third act. One of the challenges faced by Danny is to get confessions from battle hardened soldiers trained to withstand various methods of torture, but those moments are glossed over with each man readily admitting their guilt. A romantic subplot is also thrown in because the rules of formulaic storytelling require one. While it's nice to hear the lovely Yvonne Strahovski (from NBC's Chuck) speak with her native Aussie accent, she's absolutely wasted as the girl who pines for her man whenever he's away.

Killer Elite is a generically staged and below average action film. It never elicits an ounce of excitement despite the presence of three talented and convincing leads.

Rating: * ½ (*****)

I Don't Know How She Does It

2012-01-03T13:25:00.000-08:00

I Don't Know How She Does It - Dir. Douglas McGrath (2011)

Some actors will be forever linked to their most popular roles. That's the case for Arnold and the Terminator, Leonard Nimoy and Spock, or Christopher Reeve and Superman. For Sarah Jessica Parker, it's Carrie Bradshaw. As the glamorous and urbane New Yorker on HBO's Sex and the City, Parker launched her career into the stratosphere. It seems like she's constantly trying to recapture lightning in a bottle by playing variations of Carrie in pictures like Did You Hear About the Morgans?, New Year's Eve, and I Don't Know How She Does It.

In the latter film, Parker is Kate Reddy, a hedge fund manager in Boston, mother of two, and wife to a successful architect named Richard (Greg Kinnear). Kate's life is a delicate balancing act between her professional life and her responsibilities at home. Most of the time, the scales don't tip in the right direction and she misses out on things like her son's first haircut. Kate's maternal duties get pushed further back when her demanding boss (Kelsey Grammer) asks her to land a lucrative account with the phallically appropriate name of Jack Abelhammer (Pierce Brosnan). This new opportunity requires Kate to fly back and forth to New York City and even ditch Thanksgiving dinner for a last minute flight to the Big Apple.

Aside from a crushing schedule, Kate's primary adversaries are a sniveling co-worker (Seth Myers), who is just waiting for her to slip up, and a competitive "momster" (Busy Phillips), who can seemingly outdo everything Kate tries.

I Don't Know How She Does It was based on a best-selling novel by Allison Pearson. It was originally published in 2002 and given the seal of approval by Oprah Winfrey. The Weinstein Company got the rights and went with Aline Brosh McKenna to pen the screenplay. McKenna also adapted the workplace chick-lit comedy, The Devil Wears Prada as well as the similarly themed 27 Dresses and Morning Glory. Luckily, How She Does It isn't another story centered on a type-A working girl whose entire self-worth is based on finding a man. Unfortunately, it is a movie centered on a type-A working girl whose problems aren't a drop in the bucket in the real world.

Pearson's novel was written years before the current recession, which is almost never addressed at all in the film. The one and only reference to the economic crisis is a condescending scene in which Jack and Kate deign to grace the common masses by going bowling in Cleveland. One of the working class stiffs remarks to the former Bond that she'll forgive him for being a banker if he scores a strike. If only it were that easy…

Kate doesn't exactly elicit much sympathy for being a part of the financial sector. She and her husband are also upper middle-class and make a more than comfortable living with a beautiful home. I doubt mothers working three jobs and living in depressed neighborhoods will shed many tears for Kate when her most trying dilemma involves a case of head lice. Or how about the time Kate is forced to masquerade a store-bought pie as homemade for her daughter's bake sale. Oh, the horror.

McKenna and director Douglas McGrath (Emma, Infamous) exacerbate the smugness by intercutting pseudo-documentary interviews with the supporting characters as they emphasize the difficulties modern women face in the workplace. It's an irritating device that adds nothing to an already thin narrative.

If there is anything positive to be found in I Don't Know How She Does It, it is the performances by Christina Hendricks and former G4 hostess Olivia Munn. Hendricks plays Kate's best friend, Allison, a single mother who likely faces far more interesting struggles. Munn is Kate's assistant, Momo, who finds herself pregnant despite the fact that she hates children.

Oprah called the original novel, the "national anthem for working mothers." Something must have been lost in translation since the movie sets the women's movement back twenty years. I Don't Know How She Does It tries to answer a question nobody was asking. The real question is "Why would anyone care?" Not a whole lot of people since the film earned a measly worldwide box office of $30.5 million. Sarah Jessica Parker needs to find more challenging material than How She Does It, a humorless and out of touch comedy full of shrill characters.

Rating: * (*****)

The Adventures of Tintin

2011-12-31T17:35:00.000-08:00

The Adventures of Tintin - Dir. Steven Spielberg (2011)

Under the pen name Hergé, Belgian illustrator Georges Prosper Remi has become a renowned artist for his long-running comic strip, The Adventures of Tintin. The series was published from 1929 until 1976 and spawned numerous radio plays, theatrical productions, and even a few live-action films. The most faithful adaptation was an animated series that aired on HBO from 1991 to 1992. Though incredibly popular throughout the world, Tintin has yet to garner a strong fanbase in the United States. One American fan, the character did win over is Steven Spielberg, who was unaware of the comics until a critic compared Raiders of the Lost Ark to Tintin. During the 80's, Spielberg got the rights to the original stories and a seal of approval from Hergé himself, but a movie didn't become a reality until now. Spielberg tag teams with Peter Jackson for this big-budget romp that utilizes the latest in motion capture technology to bring to life a script written by Steven Moffat (showrunner for Doctor Who) and the team of Edgar Wright & Joe Cornish (Scott Pilgrim vs. The World). The film is based on three prominent Tintin books, The Crab with the Golden Claws, The Secret of the Unicorn, and Red Rackham's Treasure.

The Adventures of Tintin opens with a fantastic title sequence done in the style of Saul Bass and reminiscent of the title sequence to Spielberg's Catch Me If You Can. The credits are set to a jazzy score by John Williams and encompass an entire adventure of its own. From there, we meet Tintin (Jamie Bell), an intrepid boy reporter as he gets a portrait done in a busy marketplace. Spielberg cleverly transitions from Hergé's trademark ligne claire (or clear line) style to the 3D mo-cap animation by showing us the artist is Hergé. He hands the old school version to the new interpretation and we are off.

Tintin purchases an intricate model of a 17th-century warship known as the Unicorn. No sooner is it in his possession when an American named Barnaby (Joe Starr) and a sinister collector known as Ivan Ivanovitch Sakharine (Daniel Craig) attempt to buy it from Tintin for exorbitant amounts of money. He refuses to sell and soon finds his apartment burglarized and Barnaby murdered on his front doorstep. These events lead Tintin and his faithful dog Snowy on a globe-trotting quest for missing treasure. Along the way, they befriend the blustery Captain Archibald Haddock (Andy Serkis) whose ship has been commandeered by Sakharine and his henchmen. Turns out, Haddock's ancestor was the captain of the original Unicorn before it went down following a battle with the notorious pirate Red Rackham (also played by Craig).

The uncanny valley usually rears its ugly head whenever motion capture is employed. Said valley is the point in which simulated human beings become creepy because they failed to replicate the real thing. While it slips into the valley every now and then, The Adventures of Tintin soars over that unsettling realm. The animation is beautifully rendered and richly detailed with characters that are expressive and smoothly brought to life.

Jamie Bell stars as the plucky reporter, who, ironically, is never seen in front of a typewriter or shown turning in a story. The biggest criticism levied at Tintin is that he is bland. Tintin has always been something of a cipher as Hergé intended for the reader to project themselves onto the protagonist. Hergé wisely surrounded his hero with a colorful cast of supporting characters, the most beloved being Capt. Haddock. He is brought to life by a remarkable performance from Andy Serkis, the Lon Chaney of motion capture. Everything hinges on Haddock because he is the heart of the film and Serkis does not disappoint. He is pitch perfect as the quick tempered and generally soused sea captain, who responds to outrageous situations with nonsensical expressions like, "Blistering barnacles!" And a Tintin adventure wouldn't be complete without the bumbling Scotland Yard detectives Thomson and Thompson played by Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. Yet, the most interesting character in the movie has to be Tintin's wire fox terrier, Snowy. The little pooch isn't just adorable; he's preternaturally intelligent and sometimes smarter than his own master. Snowy gets some of the film's best scenes, such as a chase sequence through city streets and dodging traffic after Tintin is abducted by the villains.

Tintin is marked by several spectacular action sequences. This is Spielberg's first foray into animation and the genre has freed him from physical limitations. The highlight of Tintin is another chase scene with Tintin, Haddock, and Snowy in a motorcycle with sidecar riding through a multi-tiered Moroccan village. Done as a single uninterrupted take, the set piece is one of the year's best as the camera glides through the air while controlled chaos sweeps through the town. Tintin also features a battle at sea that rivals anything in all four Pirates of the Caribbean movies and a large-scale duel involving two construction cranes. Spielberg doesn't forget to add a touch of humor to the proceedings with Looney Tunes-inspired gags and a sly Jaws reference with Tintin's trademark pointy hair serving as the shark's fin.

The Adventures of Tintin isn't the game changer one might expect from Steven Spielberg and Peter Jackson. It's not deeply nuanced cinema, but it is an exceptionally fun boys' adventure in the way Kingdom of the Crystal Skull should have been. Tintin began its international run in October where it's done gangbusters, but has performed anemically stateside. Still, the numbers are enough to make the sequel (The Calculus Affair?) with Jackson as director a strong possibility.

Rating: *** ½ (*****)

Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol

2011-12-24T22:01:00.000-08:00

Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol - Dir. Brad Bird (2011)

Tom Cruise is one of the biggest movie stars in the history of cinema. Yet, his reputation and box office clout have been tarnished by his bizarre behavior. The Tom Cruise publicity machine has been working overtime to restore his standing in the eyes of the public. Will a return to the mega-successful Mission: Impossible franchise rehabilitate Cruise's status? In my opinion, the man can jump on all the couches he wants as long as he keeps making films like Ghost Protocol.

The fourth Mission: Impossible opens with an exciting prison escape as Ethan Hunt (Cruise) breaks out of a Moscow gulag with help from IMF (Impossible Mission Force) agents Jane Carter (Paula Patton) and Benji Dunn (Simon Pegg). During his incarceration, another IMF member (Josh Holloway from "Lost") has been murdered while attempting to retrieve launch codes for the Russians' nuclear missiles. As it turns out, the codes have fallen into the hands of sultry French assassin, Sabine Moreau (Léa Seydoux), who is in the employ of Kurt Hendricks (Michael Nyqvist), a Swedish-born scientist code-named Cobalt. Hendricks genuinely believes all-out nuclear war will benefit mankind in the long run, allowing only the strong to survive.

The IMF team infiltrates the Kremlin in order to retrieve information on Cobalt. Unfortunately, the enemy is several steps ahead as Hendricks alerts the security to IMF's presence, steals a launch device, blows up the Kremlin, and implicates Hunt's team as the culprits. Branded as terrorists, the entire IMF department has been disavowed by the U.S. government. On the run from Russian authorities, Ethan and his team must clear their names and prevent a nuclear holocaust. Joining them as their newest member is Brandt (Jeremy Renner), an intelligence analyst whose combat skills belie those of a mere paper pusher.

Mission: Impossible III took the franchise down a darker path in line with Casino Royale and the Bourne franchise. Ghost Protocol gleefully embraces the over-the-top elements of the spy genre. JJ Abrams, who directed the previous installment, has stayed on as producer and brought on board writers Josh Applebaum and André Nemec from his Alias days to pen the script. Their screenplay seems to have emerged from the 80's since it is packed to the gills with Cold War trappings. There are Russian antagonists, shady villains with generic foreign accents, and the looming threat of all-out nuclear war between the superpowers. The gadgets are all here too. The IMF utilizes high-tech gear such as a contact lens that can transmit visual data, a magnetic levitation suit, not to mention iPads and iPhones. The iconic masks are present as well. What would a Mission: Impossible movie be without a cool mask reveal? A running gag throughout the film is how the team's equipment always seems to malfunction at the most inopportune of times. Even the famous self-destructing message (hidden inside a payphone) needs a good bang to the side to get it started.

Each installment of the Mission: Impossible series has had a different director behind the camera employing his own trademark style. For Ghost Protocol, Tom Cruise went with an unlikely choice in Brad Bird, whose experience has solely been in animation. Bird has helmed The Iron Giant, Ratatouille, and The Incredibles. His skills have translated to live-action with rousing success. Bird has managed to create an edge-of-your-seat thrill ride in a way that not even action maestro John Woo, who directed Mission: Impossible II, could have. Ghost Protocol consists of one unique action sequence after another as Bird takes the audience on a globetrotting adventure from Budapest to Mumbai. You have a foot chase through a blinding sandstorm and a climactic fist fight in the middle of an automated parking garage. Without a doubt, the centerpiece of Ghost Protocol is a spectacular set piece involving Tom Cruise precariously scaling the outside of the tallest building in the world, the Burj Khalifa in Dubai. It's an amazing stunt that Cruise insisted on doing himself. The sequence was also one of several that were shot in IMAX. Ghost Protocol features approximately thirty minutes of footage shot in the larger format and Bird makes the most of every frame, including the ones featuring the beautiful Paula Patton in a slinky evening gown.

Despite being 49, Cruise is as youthful as ever and slips right back into the role of Ethan Hunt with his usual exuberance. But, Cruise is smart enough to know when to step aside and allow his co-stars to share the spotlight. Indeed, Ghost Protocol is more about teamwork than its predecessors. Simon Pegg is easily one of the film's highlights with his trademark brand of comic relief. Jeremy Renner, who might be groomed to take over the franchise, is a welcome addition. While his castmates play it big, Renner underplays the role of Brandt and gives him a dry sense of humor. Also look for cameos from Tom Wilkinson as the head of IMF and Ving Rhames returning as Luther Stickell.

Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol is the epitome of a well-made, big budget blockbuster. The law of diminishing returns is not in effect here as the fourth picture is far and away the best in the series. The extra surcharge is worth it for the IMAX version as Ghost Protocol is gorgeously shot and one of the most fun movie experiences of the year.

Rating: **** (*****)

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows

2011-12-24T00:05:00.000-08:00

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows - Dir. Guy Ritchie (2011)

In some ways, Warner Brothers' revisionist take on Sherlock Holmes is more faithful to the original stories by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Gone are the great detective's stoic manner and meticulous behavior along with the Meerschaum pipe and deerstalker cap that became pervasive from earlier adaptations. However, it's doubtful Doyle ever dreamed of his most famous character karate kicking villains in the chest or dodging machine gun bullets and mortar shells. Indeed, Holmes as played by Robert Downey Jr. is an eccentric man of action, who can solve problems with his fists as well as his mind. But, the powers of deduction aren't as cool looking as CGI explosions.

Ironically, the BBC's modern day version with Benedict Cumberbatch is more in line with the traditional Holmes. Showrunner Steven Moffat and director Paul McGuigan have also found a way to maintain the cerebral tone while also making detective work visually interesting. If whiz-bang effects and big name stars are more your style, then Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows is right up your alley. The sequel, once again directed by Guy Ritchie, expands on the formula of the previous film and ups the ante with more action, new characters, and a mystery that takes the heroes outside the confines of London as they travel to France, Germany, and Switzerland.

Since the events of the first film, Sherlock Holmes has been diligently connecting a string of mysterious deaths to Professor James Moriarty (Jared Harris), nicknamed the "Napoleon of Crime." The Machiavellian plans of Moriarty involve plunging all of Europe into a world war. At the Moriarty's side is his chief henchman, Col. Sebastian Moran (Paul Anderson), a former military sharpshooter. Holmes's only clue to stop him is a gypsy fortune teller named Simza (Noomi Rapace), whose brother is a member of a terrorist group under the employ of the villainous mastermind. A newlywed Dr. Watson (Jude Law) is unable to enjoy his honeymoon with Mary (Kelly Reilly) as he's dragged along on an adventure that culminates in a showdown at Reichenbach Falls as originally depicted in "The Final Problem."

A Game of Shadows benefits greatly by opening the world of Sherlock Holmes up by bringing in more characters from Doyle's stories. Stephen Fry joins the cast as Sherlock's older brother, Mycroft, who happens to be even smarter and more eccentric. Fry, a noted Holmes enthusiast, is perfectly cast as Mycroft complimenting Downey's manic performance with a hoity attitude and wry wit. Then, there's Jared Harris, who turns in a menacing performance as Moriarty without going over the top.

Noomi Rapace is one of two stars from The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, along with leading man Michael Nyqvist (in Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol), making her Hollywood debut just a few days before the release of David Fincher's remake. Unfortunately, her role isn't nearly as compelling as the goth hacker Lisbeth Salander. As the bland Simza, Rapace doesn't have much to do aside from running from peril alongside Downey and Law. She's doesn’t get to verbally spar with Holmes the way Rachel McAdams (who returns briefly) did as Irene Adler. You wish they had given a meatier role to Kelly Reilly.

The screenplay by the husband and wife team of Kieran & Michele Mulroney (who also wrote and directed the little seen indie flick Paper Man) follows the same formula as the first Sherlock Holmes. It's not wildly innovative or particularly clever, but the actors are able to elevate the material. The real problem with A Game of Shadows lies with the hyperactive direction from Guy Ritchie. The director of Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch is known for being a filmmaker who is more style than substance. This is never more apparent than a muddled action sequence involving the heroes fleeing through a forest while chased by German soldiers. Ritchie changes speeds on a dime, going from fast to slow motion. He zooms into the barrel of a rifle and follows the bullet's trajectory. The camera never stays in one place long enough for the audience to figure out what the hell is happening. A Game of Shadows does feature better action scenes such as Holmes and Watson battling Moriarty's men on a speeding train and a unique take on Holmes' pre-visualization before a fistfight against his archnemesis.

Despite some messy direction from Guy Ritchie, Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows is actually an improvement on its progenitor. The superior sequel largely succeeds due to the presence of a formidable villain, higher stakes, bigger set pieces, and the chemistry between its leads. Downey and Law have transformed the Sherlock Holmes series into a Victorian-era buddy action/comedy.

Rating: *** ½ (*****)

The Descendants

2011-12-20T14:38:00.000-08:00

The Descendants - Dir. Alexander Payne (2011)

Alexander Payne has a knack for spinning tales about middle age malaise and disillusionment. His high school comedy, Election, followed Matthew Broderick as a failed variation of Ferris Bueller desperately trying to sabotage the campaign efforts of Type A personality Tracy Flick (played by Reese Witherspoon). In Sideways, Payne followed Paul Giamatti as a stagnant writer confronting his own misery and loneliness on a trip through wine country with his adulterous best friend. Payne pushed these themes even further with what may be his best work yet in About Schmidt, he showed that things don't get any easier during the twilight years. And they don't get better in the idyllic island of Hawaii, according to The Descendants, Payne's newest film based on the novel by Kaui Hart Hemmings and adapted by Payne, Nat Faxon, and Jim Rash, who plays Dean Pelton on NBC's Community.

George Clooney stars as the appropriately named Matt King, a lawyer whose family is descended from King Kamehameha and the first white settlers in the fiftieth state. They own one of the largest tracts of unspoiled land in Hawaii and Matt must ultimately decide on its fate. Most of his cousins (headed up by Beau Bridges) are pushing for a lucrative deal with a local developer while others prefer not to sell. This sandy beach property is the least of Matt's problems.

His wife, Elizabeth (Patricia Hastie), has been left in a vegetative coma following a tragic water skiing accident. The doctors inform Matt that Elizabeth will not improve and they must honor her living will by removing her from life support. A self-described "back-up parent," Matt is forced to deal with two daughters he has absolutely no way of connecting with. His youngest, Scottie (Amara Miller), has eccentric tendencies and constantly curses. His eldest, Alexandra (Shailene Woodley), is a defiant teenager sent off to boarding school to curb her wild ways. Alexandra confesses to her oblivious father that mom was cheating on him. A road trip to inform family and friends about Elizabeth's impending death becomes a cathartic search as Matt and Alexandra look to confront her lover, a real estate agent named Brian Speer (Matthew Lillard).

The Descendants depicts a different side of Hawaii from the picturesque tourist traps seen on Hawaii Five-0. Payne prefers sterile office buildings and languid suburban neighborhoods to white sands and tiki torches. He sets the mood in the opening voice-over narration in which George Clooney declares, "Paradise can go fuck itself." Just as he defies our expectations of the locales, Payne also defies our expectations of certain characters and standard situations. Tagging along with the King family is Alexandra's friend, Sid (Nick Krause), a mish-mash of every stoner and sun-baked surfer stereotype imaginable. Yet, he turns out to not be as dumb as everyone thinks and shares a rather profound moment with Matt.

As the lead character, Clooney carries a heavy amount of baggage. He is George Clooney, after all. He can't play a sad sack that way Paul Giamatti or Philip Seymour Hoffman can, but Clooney brings an aura of weariness to the role that recalls his performance in Up in the Air. It's unfortunate that his character is so underwritten and overshadowed by the supporting characters. Clooney's young co-stars, Shailene Woodley (from ABC Family's The Secret Life of the American Teenager) and Amara Miller are both good while the usually comedic Judy Greer gets to stretch her dramatic muscles as Brian's oblivious wife. But, it is Robert Forster who commands the film as Matt's father-in-law, an ornery old timer, who lambastes Matt and Alexandra while overlooking (either knowingly or unknowingly) his own daughter's infidelity.

The weakest element of The Descendants is the superfluous narration that bogs down the first act and trails off as the movie progresses. The narration serves purely to explain emotions and subplots that are exceedingly apparent to the audience.

Visually, The Descendants represents a high point for Alexander Payne as a director. It's undoubtedly his best looking and most maturely handled work as a filmmaker. Payne does his usual blend of tear jerking drama, low-key humor and broadly played comedy. Yet, The Descendants stands as one of Payne's lesser pictures, one that isn't nearly as compelling as Election, About Schmidt or Sideways. It's a middle of the road crowd pleaser sure to impress the easily wowed awards voters.

Rating: ** ½ (*****)

Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame

2011-12-14T19:39:00.000-08:00

Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame - Dir. Tsui Hark (2010)

Tsui Hark is widely regarded as the Steven Spielberg of Hong Kong cinema. As a writer, director, and producer, Hark has become one of the most prolific filmmakers in Asia. His directorial efforts include Once Upon a Time in China and Peking Opera Blues, two of the finest martial arts films ever made. As a producer, he has worked on some of John Woo's classics including A Better Tomorrow and The Killer. Hark has even spearheaded the use of Hollywood-style special effects with Zu Warriors from the Magic Mountain. Sadly, Hark's ill-fated attempt to break into Hollywood itself resulted in the abysmal Double Team starring Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dennis Rodman, a pairing no one wanted to see.

Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame is one of Hark's latest pictures, originally released in China in 2010 before receiving a limited run in the U.S. Shot on a budget of $20 million, Detective Dee is very much in the vein of Zu Warriors as it mixes traditional wuxia fight sequences with modern special effects.

Andy Lau stars as a fictional version of Di Renjie, an official during the Tang Dynasty, who became the protagonist in a series of detective novels by Dutch author Robert van Gulik. As portrayed by Lau, Dee is both a man of action and an analytical sleuth, much like Robert Downey Jr.'s Sherlock Holmes. The Mystery of the Phantom Flame is set in year 690AD as Wu Zeitan (Carina Lau) is about to be crowned Empress of China and the first female ruler. Her coronation is threatened when two high-ranking officials die of spontaneous combustion. These horrific and inexplicable deaths lead the Empress to reinstate Detective Dee, who has been exiled for speaking out against her. Not entirely trusting of Dee, the Empress teams him with one her most loyal handmaiden, Jing'er (Li Bingbing), and an albino officer named Donglai (Deng Chao).

Detective Dee features some spectacular visuals as Hark and his team have crafted a stylized recreation of ancient China. The highlight is a massive iron Buddha standing watch over the royal palace. The action choreography was done by Sammo Hung and the over-the-top fight scenes are reminiscent Ching Siu-Tung, who directed two Hark productions in The Swordsman and A Chinese Ghost Story. One of the film's coolest fights finds all three protagonists battling the mystical Imperial Chaplain in a spooky underground city. The robed Chaplain actually splits off his sleeves which are able to fight independently. There's also a thrilling sequence during the climax involving a series of pulleys and ropes that work as an early elevator.

Not all the fight scenes work. In the film's goofiest moment, Dee is forced to battle a pack of mind-controlled deer. Nothing like watching Andy Lau punch Bambi in the face to make your day. The deer also represent the movie's most poorly rendered CGI. When the killer's hapless victims burst into flame, their immolated bodies look fake as well.

The plot isn't exactly a tense and complex puzzle. The twists and turns in the story feel more like they were made up on the spot. By the time the third act rolls around, Detective Dee has descended into a series of confused revelations and hokey elements.

Andy Lau turns in a solid performance as Detective Dee though the role isn't too taxing on his acting skills. Both of the lovely starlets, Carina Lau and Li Bingbing, are good and aren't there as just eye candy. But, the best performance has to go to the other Tony Leung, Tony Leung Ka Fai (Election) as a former comrade of Dee's who is in charge of the Buddha construction.

Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame won't go down as one of Tsui Hark's masterpieces. It has a lot of the same shoddy special effects and nonsensical storytelling that made Legend of Zu such a mess. Yet, the unique action and strong cast might be enough to interest diehard Hong Kong action fans.

Rating: ** (*****)

The Debt

2011-12-13T14:05:00.000-08:00

The Debt - Dir. John Madden (2011)

The Debt is a slick Hollywood remake of a little seen Israeli film called Ha-Hov, which was released in 2007. A throwback to the Cold War thrillers of the 1970’s, The Debt follows the lives of three Mossad agents on a secret mission to apprehend a Nazi war criminal.

In 1965, David Peretz (Sam Worthington) and Stephan Gold (Marton Csokas) are deep undercover in East Berlin and tasked by Mossad with finding the fugitive Dieter Vogel (Jesper Christensen), whose sadistic human experiments earned him infamy as “The Surgeon of Birkenau.” Learning that Vogel has been living in anonymity as a gynecologist, they are joined by Rachel Singer (Jessica Chastain), a young translator on her first field mission. Posing as David’s wife, Singer visits Vogel’s office to capture him, but their plan to spirit him into West Berlin goes awry. Now, the agents are forced to hold up in a rundown flat with their sadistic prisoner.

In 1997, David, Stephan, and Rachel are now played by Ciaran Hinds, Tom Wilkinson, and Helen Mirren. All three are heralded as national heroes, despite the obvious emotional fallout. Rachel is singled out for killing Vogel when he tried to escape custody. Stephan married and divorced Rachel while rising to a high-ranking position within Mossad. David, meanwhile, has been traveling off the grid for years. The trio is supposed to be reunited in honor of the publication of a book about the mission by Rachel’s daughter. The celebration comes to a screeching halt when David finally resurfaces only to commit suicide by stepping in front of a truck.

The narrative progresses between two parallel storylines set in two time periods. The mystery of what really happened on that ill-fated mission slowly unravels piece by piece thanks to the workmanlike direction from John Madden (Shakespeare in Love) and the script by Peter Straughan (Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy) and the team of Matthew Vaughn and Jane Goldman (Stardust, Kick-Ass). The early scenes set in East Berlin are fraught with tension, especially the uneasy moments where Rachel must be examined by a man obviously inspired by real-life Nazi butcher Josef Mengele. The tension rises during a tightly crafted sequence at a train stop where the protagonists attempt to smuggle their prey across the border. When that fails, they are forced to guard Vogel in their flat until a contingency plan is put together. There, Vogel plays mind games with the nervous agents, taunting them and the loved ones they lost in the Holocaust. Exacerbating the already edgy Israelis is the simmering love triangle revolving around Rachel, David, and Stephan. It's obvious a romance would happen with Rachel being the sole woman between two lonely men.

However, The Debt loses its way in the third act with a resolution that stinks of the studio demanding an ending that wraps everything up in a neat, little bow. These final moments lack the power that the rest of the film had.

Rather than utilizing copious amounts of makeup, the filmmakers cast two sets of actors to play the younger and older characters. On the plus side, we don't have to deal with unconvincing putty jobs like the recently released J. Edgar. The drawback is making sure the actors resemble one another. While Jessica Chastain could pass for Helen Mirren, their male counterparts don't match up quite right. Marton Csokas actually looks more like a young Ciaran Hinds than he does a young Tom Wilkinson who could pass for an older Sam Worthington if you squint your eyes just right. Still, each man gives a good performance though the film is largely commanded by Chastain and the ever-regal Mirren. The omnipresent Chastain has broken through this year with acclaimed turns in arthouse titles like The Tree of Life and Take Shelter as well as the highly successful The Help. The Debt features another winning performance from Chastain as the vulnerable Rachel with Mirren adding an extra layer of weariness for her scenes. Jesper Christensen, best known as Mr. White in Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace, really ups the creepy factor as the movie's sneering and remorseless villain.

The Debt almost feels like a comment on Jewish guilt and self-loathing. While it's doubtful that was anybody's intention, those themes feel like their bubbling underneath the surface. The Debt is a slightly pedestrian, but competently made thriller that stands in the shadow of Steven Spielberg's far superior Munich.

Rating: ** (*****)

The Muppets

2011-12-11T21:36:00.000-08:00

The Muppets - Dir. James Bobin (2011)

It's time to play the music
It's time to light the lights
It's time to meet the Muppets
On the Muppet Show tonight.

When Jason Segel met with Disney executives about making a new Muppet movie, they thought he was joking. Segel's life-long love for the characters shined through in the Dracula-themed musical from Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Segel and Marshall director Nicholas Stoller co-wrote this revival of the franchise that attempts to introduce the Muppets to a whole new audience.

Gary (Segel) and his twin brother Walter (voiced by Peter Linz) have lived all their lives in the happy Midwest burg of Smalltown, USA. Never mind the fact that Gary is a human and Walter is a puppet. Gary and his girlfriend, Mary (Amy Adams), are planning a trip to Hollywood. The romantic trip for two becomes a three's a company situation when Gary invites diehard Muppet fan Walter along to see the Muppets Studio. They are saddened to see it has been abandoned and left in disrepair. Walter is even more shocked when he overhears evil tycoon Tex Richman plans to tear down it down and drill for oil.

Walter, Gary, and Mary convince Kermit the Frog to reunite the Muppets and put on a show in order to save the studio. No easy task as everyone has gone their separate ways. Miss Piggy is living in Paris as the editor-in-chief for the French edition of Vogue. Gonzo is a successful manufacturer of bathroom fixtures, Fozzie plays with a tribute band called the Moopets, and Animal is in anger management.

While Segel should be commended for ushering in the return of the Muppets, the movie does get sidetracked by the human characters played by him and Adams. Both tackle their roles with an endearing earnestness, but the movie is called The Muppets for a reason. The complications in the romance between Gary and Mary aren't nearly as interesting as the on-again/off-again love story between Kermit and Miss Piggy. At times, Walter feels like a bland fan-fiction character that's being forced on the public, but his innocent charm is all that saves him from being a major annoyance.

Nitpicks aside, The Muppets is a witty and joyous picture strengthened by infectious musical numbers and clever meta-textual humor. The characters break the fourth wall on numerous occasions with jokes about montages and traveling by map ala Indiana Jones. Segel and Stoller's screenplay pays service to older fans with several references to The Muppet Movie, such as Sweetums appearance at the car dealership and Kermit's "standard rich and famous" contract. Segel also utilizes all the popular Muppets like Rowlf, Dr. Teeth, and the Swedish Chef and even some of the obscure ones like Lew Zealand and Uncle Deadly.

The new music of The Muppets won't stand the test of time the way "Rainbow Connection" has, but they are energetic and irreverent thanks to the supervision of Bret McKenzie from Flight of the Conchords. Conchords' director James Bobin also helmed the film. The opening number, "Life's a Happy Song," sets the stage for the rest of the movie with its old-fashioned, Music Man-style feel. The soundtrack also features the forlorn "Pictures in My Head" and the disco flavored "Me Party" sung by Miss Piggy and the delightful Amy Adams. There's also the bizarre experience of watching Chris Cooper rap about his villainous scheme with "Let's Talk About Me." They are bolstered by Muppet infused covers like a barbershop take on "Smells Like Teen Spirit" and a version of Cee-Lo Green's "F*ck You" sung by chickens ("Cluck You?"). Without a doubt, the number the best song on the soundtrack is the existential ballad, "Man or Muppet?" with a surprise cameo that received a rousing reaction from my audience.

Speaking of cameos, in grand Muppet tradition, The Muppets is littered with cameos that include Mickey Rooney, Zach Galifianakis, Neil Patrick Harris, and Sarah Silverman with James Carville as the most random. Some of the better cameos were Alan Arkin as a sardonic tour guide, Dave Grohl as the Moopets' drummer, and Emily Blunt essentially reprising her role from The Devil Wears Prada. Even more cameos from folks like Lady Gaga, Danny Trejo, and Ricky Gervais were left on the cutting room floor.

Despite a few minor quibbles, The Muppets is one of the most joyous cinematic experiences of the year. After modern missteps like Muppets from Space and the made-for-TV The Muppets' Wizard of Oz, Segel's Muppets puts Jim Henson's beloved creations on the right track and hearkens back to the heyday of The Muppet Movie and The Muppets Take Manhattan.

Rating: *** (*****)

One Day

2011-12-10T12:21:00.000-08:00

One Day - Dir. Lone Scherfig (2011)

Love stories don't always have happy endings. That's certainly true in movies as many tragic romances have gone down in cinematic history. Sometimes tragedy strikes as in the case of Love Story where a pining Ryan O'Neal falls head over heels for a terminally ill Ali McGraw. Then, there are films like Casablanca and Brief Encounter where the protagonists ultimately don't end up together. One Day is a little bit of both. Boy meets girl. They hem and haw for years and just when you think they might find happiness, it winds up being a conclusion a little more bittersweet than expected.

Novelist David Nicholls adapted the screenplay for One Day based on his 2009 novel of the same name. The story begins on July 15, 1988 during the graduation of Dexter Mayhew (Jim Sturgess) and Emma Morley (Anne Hathaway) from the University of Edinburgh. Dex is a smooth and handsome lad from a well-to-do family while Emma isn't quite as posh. She wears floral print dresses with black boots and completes the coffee house chic personality by listening to Tracy Chapman. She undoubtedly has Lisa Loeb and the Indigo Girls in her collection. Despite their differences, they spend the night together. While the attraction is obvious, Dex and Emma decide to remain friends. From then on, the film drops the audience into their lives on the anniversary of their first meeting.

As the years progress, the handsome Dex climbs the ladder of success as a famous television personality. When he's not interviewing celebrities, he's bedding a variety of vapid beauties. Meanwhile, Emma is stuck in a dead-end waitressing job at a Mexican restaurant and begins a relationship with the awkward Ian (Rafe Spall), a wannabe stand-up comic who isn't very funny. Time marches on and Dex's career begins crumbling as he falls deeper into his addictions to drug and alcohol. Meanwhile, Emma goes from being a teacher to living in France as a successful writer of children's books. During these scenes, Hathaway sports a short hairdo and a pair of big sunglasses that make her look like Audrey Hepburn. Throughout it all, Dex and Emma's friendship remains as turbulent as their personal lives as they hug and laugh then fight and cry.

Director Lone Scherfig is no stranger to love stories. Her debut picture, Italian for Beginners, is easily the most accessible entry in the Dogme 95 movement and her most successful work, An Education, probably won't get many viewings on Valentine's Day. Scherfig directs One Day with a sure hand and crafts a gorgeous looking movie with help from cinematographer Benoit Delhomme, who also shot The Proposition and Tsai Ming-liang's What Time Is It There? But, the impeccable visuals cannot cover up the lack of compelling characters and thin narrative.

The gimmick of the plot revolving around a specific day makes for an intriguing concept. It's one that has the potential to lift One Day above the treacle that the Hollywood rom-com machine generally churns out. However, the concept never amounts to anything significant and makes the entire effort feel like a warmed over When Harry Met Sally. Part of the problem is that there is never a clear obstacle in the way of their romance. Dex and Emma aren't separated by an insurmountable distance or societal morays. They just don't admit their feelings for one another. The longer this goes on, the more annoying they become and the less invested we become in seeing them get together.

Much has been made in other reviews about Anne Hathaway's British accent. It's stronger than the shakier attempts of Natalie Portman or Renee Zellweger, but it's not the least bit convincing. It is obvious Hathaway was chosen over an English actress for her marketability. Rafe Spall, the son of Timothy Spall, has some good moments as the sweet-natured and nebbish Ian. There are also good performances from Ken Stott and Patricia Clarkson as Dex's parents, even if they have limited screen time.

One Day may appeal to deeply romantic souls, but this cold-hearted critic found it to be a shallow and sappy experience. This is a film about pretty, yet empty-headed, people and filled with weak attempts at witty banter.

Rating: * ½ (*****)

Sarah's Key

2011-12-05T08:00:00.000-08:00

Sarah's Key - Dir. Gilles Paquet-Brenner (2010)

Sarah's Key revolves around a little known atrocity committed during World War II known as the Vel d'Hiv Roundup. On July 16 and 17 of 1942, French police and officials of the Vichy government, under orders from the Nazi regime, enacted a mass arrest of over 13,000 Jews living in Paris. Most of them were women and children. These Jews were initially interred at the Vel d'Hiv stadium without the use of bathrooms and under tremendous heat as all windows were blocked to prevent escape. Nearly two-thirds of the prisoners were eventually sent to Auschwitz. Sarah's Key, an adaptation of the best-selling novel by Tatiana de Rosnay, serves as a reminder of these tragic events and their lasting effects on the France of today. Much like The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas, it looks at the Holocaust through a child's point-of-view.

Kristin Scott Thomas stars as Julia Jarmond, an American journalist living in Paris with her French husband, Bertrand Tezac (Frederic Pierrot). She learns that the apartment her in-laws have owned for decades came into their possession soon after the Vel d'Hiv Roundup. She sets out to discover how the Tezacs got the place and who the tenants were before them. Julia's investigations uncover the harrowing story of a young girl named Sarah Starzynski (Mélusine Mayance).

In 1942, the police take Sarah and her family into custody. In a panic, Sarah locks her little brother, Michele (Paul Mercier), in a hidden closet and tells him to stay there until she comes back. Sarah and her parents are sent first to Vel d'Hiv then to a deportation camp in Beaune-la-Rolande where the adults and children are separated. Sarah manages to escape thanks to a sympathetic police officer and seeks refuge with an elderly couple in the countryside. All the while she is desperate to return to Paris to rescue Michele.

The two stories of Sarah and Julia run parallel to each other, but neither meshes with the other. Sarah's portion of the film stands as its most effective thanks to the heartbreaking performances by Mélusine Mayance and Charlotte Poutrel, who plays the adult Sarah. While Kristin Scott Thomas gives a strong performance, her segments come off as preachy and hollow. Julia's search for the truth about Sarah is meant to symbolize the impact of the Roundup. Many are unaware of the events, others warn her not to stir things up, and a few react with angry denial. One coworker is quick to condemn those that stood by to which Julia refutes with "What would you have done?"

In addition, Julia discovers she is pregnant and must decide if she should to keep the baby when her husband staunchly declares he doesn't want it. To really drive the point him, director Gilles Paquet-Brenner dissolves from an overhead shot of Sarah lying in a fetal position to a newly pregnant Julia. Brenner also tries too hard with the score as ominous music blares to the hilt as detainees are herded off a bus.

The two time periods of Sarah's Key don't always gel together and Julia's world of trendy magazine offices and iPhones feels trivial next to the plight of Sarah. Still, it's a fine film that tugs at the heart strings, despite mistakenly tackling its subject matter with a clinical and didactic approach.

Rating: ** (*****)

Hugo

2011-12-04T20:19:00.000-08:00

Hugo - Dir. Martin Scorsese (2011)

Martin Scorsese has become synonymous with crime films and gritty urban dramas. When he has ventured outside his wheelhouse, it was to make pictures like The Age of Innocence or The Last Temptation of Christ. Needless to say, Scorsese is one of the last names you’d expect to direct a children’s movie, let alone one shot in 3D. But, he does just that with Hugo, based on the illustrated novel, The Invention of Hugo Cabret, by Brian Selznick.

Set in post-WWI Paris, the film follows an orphaned boy named Hugo (Asa Butterfield), whose father (Jude Law) died in a museum fire. Hugo was sent to live with his alcoholic uncle (Ray Winstone), who worked at the Montparnasse train station. There, Hugo was taught how to maintain the clocks until his uncle’s disappearance. On his own, he survives by stealing food and avoiding the Station Inspector (Sacha Baron Cohen). One of Hugo’s few possessions is a mechanical man left abandoned in his father’s museum, which they attempted to restore before his death. It has the ability to write and once repaired, Hugo hopes it will lead to some message from his dad. In order to do so, he steals parts from a toy store run by a man referred to by his granddaughter Isabelle (Chloe Grace Moretz) as Papa George (Ben Kingsley).

Spoiler alert.

I knew almost nothing about Hugo aside from a trailer depicting a boy living in a train station where something vaguely magical happens. That is where the film seems to head in the first act until Hugo learns Papa George is actually Georges Méliès. The former stage magician saw the potential in this newfangled contraption known as the movie camera. Méliès was the first to create elaborate sets and special effects in his pictures. He was the first to make fantasy and sci-fi movies. Méliès could even be considered one of the earliest victims of piracy as Thomas Edison exhibited his most famous film, A Trip to the Moon, in the States without giving Méliès a dime. Méliès made close to 500 silent pictures, but the majority has been lost over time. As depicted in Hugo, his studio eventually went bankrupt and most of his film reels were recycled into boot heels. The real-life Méliès really did work as a toy salesman in the Montparnasse station though he never met an ingenuous boy. Together, they forge an unlikely friendship as kindred souls lost in the clockwork machinery of a modernizing society.

Hugo acts as a love letter to early cinema and an impassioned plea for film preservation. Isabelle, who has never seen a movie, is introduced to the medium by Hugo with wide-eyed wonder. Together, they learn everything they can about Papa George and try to repair fix his broken spirit as Hugo has been doing with his automaton. Through Hugo and Isabelle, Scorsese looks to introduce a new audience to silent film. He makes sure to sprinkle in plenty of references to many of the most renowned works, such as Harold Lloyd's famous clock hanging sequence from Safety Last. This is when Hugo really shines, but it takes a while to get there. With a runtime of over two hours, Hugo is about twenty minutes too long with a first half that is meandering and unsure.

The train station becomes Hugo's movie screen as he observes the lives of the other workers in the station, such as the awkward flirtations between an elderly couple played by Richard Griffiths and Frances de la Tour as well as the one between the Inspector and a flower girl (Emily Mortimer). This is when Hugo gets bogged down with subplots that don't really add anything to the overall narrative. The Inspector himself is portrayed alternately as a foreboding villain and bumbling comic relief. Though he's played wonderfully by Sacha Baron Cohen, Scorsese never strikes the right tone for the character. Scorsese may have mastered many aspects of filmmaking, but physical comedy isn't one of them and most of the slapstick gags and wacky chases fall flat.

Visually, Hugo is nothing short of a masterpiece. Scorsese has immaculately crafted the world of Hugo with long-time collaborators like cinematographer Robert Richardson, editor Thelma Schoonmaker, and production designer Dante Ferretti. Scorsese's vision is so detailed that he even throws in background cameos by actors resembling James Joyce and Django Reinhardt. The movie's opening tracking shot that glides through the station platform and inside the clock tower will immediately bring to mind the iconic tracking shot from Goodfellas. Scorsese also makes better use of the 3D process than any other film aside from Coraline or Cave of Forgotten Dreams, even if it isn't essential to tell the story. He has created an immersive environment with a clear range and depth of field while adding a sense of wonder to all the moving gears and machinery. Even some of the subtler moments are given a little extra oomph thanks to the 3D, such as a sequence in which Sacha Baron Cohen's enormous head emerges from the screen to symbolize how the Inspector has grown a new awareness of the happenings around him. There's also something very strange about watching A Trip to the Moon in 3D.

Chloe Grace Moretz adds another fine performance to her resume as Isabelle and she often overshadows Asa Butterfield as the titular lead. The adults are all great with Emily Mortimer, Christopher Lee, and Michael Stuhlbarg as a film historian (and Scorsese's stand-in) all rounding out the excellent ensemble. However, the film lives and dies by the commanding and heartfelt performances from Ben Kingsley as Georges Méliès and Helen McCrory (better known as Narcissa Malfoy) as his wife Jeanne.

Hugo has received glowing reviews from many critics. Unfortunately, I don't share the same love for the film, which I found to be moving, yet uneven and overlong. As a tribute to silent cinema, Hugo, might have appeal more to adults and cinephiles than children.

Rating: ** ½ (*****)

Spy Kids: All the Time in the World

2011-11-23T17:38:00.000-08:00

Spy Kids: All the Time in the World - Dir. Robert Rodriguez (2011)

Robert Rodriguez has made his name as an innovative and visually inventive director in the action genre. He exploded onto the scene with the ultra-low budget El Mariachi before moving on to blockbusters like Desperado, From Dusk Till Dawn, and Sin City. In between his R-rated pictures, Rodriguez has helmed the kid-friendly series of Spy Kids movies. It's not too surprising considering Rodriguez is the father of five boys.

It made sense that the third movie, Spy Kids: Game Over, would launch the franchise into 3D. Eight years later, the fourth entry, Spy Kids: All the Time in the World was advertised as being presented in 4D. Time is considered to be the fourth dimension and while it plays a large role in the film, the 4D also referred to Aroma-Scope, Rodriguez's attempt to bring back Smell-O-Vision. Audience members were given scratch 'n' sniff cards, along with their 3D glasses, which gave them a whiff of scents like bubblegum, bacon, and chocolate. Perhaps, Spy Kids 5D will see the return of William Castle's "Tingler" gimmick where theaters are equipped with electrified seats. The following review is for the plain, old 2D version of Spy Kids.

Jessica Alba stars as Marissa Wilson, the top agent for the OSS, the Organization of Super-Spies. In her final mission before retirement, Marissa tracks down and captures Tick Tock, a villain who uses weapons that can temporarily freeze people in time. Why is she retiring? Because she's nine months pregnant and goes into labor while battling Tick Tock's henchmen. Rodriguez was inspired to make the movie after watching Alba change diapers on the set of Machete.

Marissa faces all new challenges as a happy homemaker. Her husband, Wilbur (Joel McHale), spends all his time working on his new reality show, Spy Hunters, where he fruitlessly searches for spies hiding in society. Her step-children, Rebecca (Rowan Blanchard) and Cecil (Mason Cook), can't stand her and are always pulling messy pranks on her.

Marissa is called back into action by her superior, Danger D'Amo (Jeremy Piven), when a new supervillain known as the Timekeeper begins stealing time. This causes the days to flow faster than normal. The Timekeeper's next move is to activate the Armageddon Device and the only thing that can stop it is a gem called the Chrono Sapphire. As it turns out, Marissa gave it to Rebecca as a gift. Thus, the kids are dragged into the mission and teamed with the original Spy Kids, Carmen (Alexa Vega) and Juni (Daryl Sabara), who are all grown up. They receive help from a robotic attack dog named Argonaut (voiced by Ricky Gervais).

Spy Kids unfolds at a fast and furious pace, which is perfect for anyone who might have the attention span of a goldfish. It's a cinematic sugar rush; all candy colored and powered by hefty amounts of caffeinated cola. The youngsters will be entertained, but older folks might get a headache. The plot doesn't make a lick of sense and is bogged down by blunt messages about the importance of family. There's a disturbing amount of scatological humor with jokes about dog poop and farts. The heroes also incapacitate the bad guys with a dirty diaper and a bag of vomit. Joel McHale and Ricky Gervais are talented comedians, but neither man is given strong enough material to elicit even a modest chuckle. All the Time in the World also could have used the presence of past stars like Carla Gugino, Cheech Marin, and Danny Trejo (who only appears in a quick one scene cameo).

It's ironic that the theme of Spy Kids: All the Time in the World is about living in the present and not dwelling on the past. The Weinstein Company has been cannibalizing their own past in an effort to resurrect their successful franchises to grab some quick cash. I don't know if anyone was truly clamoring for another Spy Kids movie and after watching this latest one, it's doubtful their minds were changed. All the Time in the World is the definition of junk food cinema, a movie lacking in substance and not at all healthy for consumption.

Rating: * ½ (*****)

Beginners

2011-11-20T23:45:00.000-08:00

Beginners - Dir. Mike Mills (2011)

Beginners is a semi-autobiographical film from writer/director Mike Mills and based on his experiences with his father, who came out as a gay man at the age of 75 before dying of cancer five years later.

Standing in for Mills is Ewan McGregor, who stars as Oliver Fields, a graphic designer still coming to grips with the death of his father, Hal (Christopher Plummer). Oliver's parents entered into a marriage of convenience in the 1950's with Hal as a closeted homosexual and his wife, Georgia (Mary Kay Keller), a Jew. Both maintained appearances in order to move about in high society. They stayed together for nearly fifty years until Georgia's death. Five months later, Hal reveals to his son that he is gay and finds a renewed zest for life. Hal embraces gay culture by going clubbing, starting letter campaigns in support of gay-friendly politicians, and hosting movie nights where they watch The Times of Harvey Milk.

Beginners is told through three points in time. We see flashbacks to Oliver's unique childhood with his free-spirited mother as well as his relationship with his father as he battles terminal cancer. In the present, a melancholy Oliver falls in love with a beautiful French actress named Anna (Mélanie Laurent). The two meet in the cutest of all meet cutes. Oliver dresses as Sigmund Freud for a Halloween party where he dispenses in-character advice to other party-goers. Anna, dressed as communist spy Julius Rosenberg, lays on the couch next and communicates entirely through a notepad due to a case of laryngitis.

On a surface level, Beginners has all the quirky trappings of hipster cinema. Oliver and Anna engage in French New Wave inspired dates that involve roller skating through the lobby of a ritzy hotel and creating graffiti art during the late hours of the night. When Oliver learns his dad has a tumor in his lungs the size of a quarter, Mills cuts to a quarter followed by twenty five cents worth of pennies, nickels, and dimes. Oliver also inherits Hal's dog, a scruffy little Jack Russell terrier named Arthur, who communicates through subtitles like "I can understand up to 150 words, but I can't talk." Mills pushes the boundaries into being self-consciously cool from time to time. However, Beginners has a genuine soul not found in its insufferably twee brethren. The films of Mills' wife, Miranda July, come to mind.

Beginners finds a delicate balance between sorrow and joy. While some scenes could only happen in a movie, the dialogue is sharp and never feels phony. The performances from the lead actors are wonderful with Ewan McGregor headlining the movie with an understated turn. Mélanie Laurent brings a graceful beauty and soulfulness to her character and never devolves into the archetype of manic pixie dream girl. Christopher Plummer will likely earn an Oscar nomination for his whimsical performance as Oliver's elderly father.

Rating: *** (*****)

Larry Crowne

2011-11-19T23:35:00.000-08:00

Larry Crowne - Dir. Tom Hanks (2011)

Tom Hanks has earned his reputation as an all-around nice guy and one of the most likeable actors in Hollywood. Hanks brings every ounce of that likeability for Larry Crowne, which marks his second film as a director following his debut behind the camera with 1996's That Thing You Do!

Hanks stars as the titular Larry Crowne, a mid-level employee for U-Mart, a big-box retailer resembling Target. Larry enlisted in the Navy straight out of high school and never went to college. This lack of higher education is cited as the primary reason for his lack of promotion into upper management. Since he can no longer advance any further, U-Mart executives decide to fire him despite years of exemplar service.

Larry finds himself in an all too familiar situation as a divorced, middle-aged man who is now unemployed and saddled with a mortgage he can no longer afford. Left with few options, Larry decides to enroll in community college. Thus begins a series of life-changing events for our affable protagonist.

First, he trades in his gas-guzzling SUV for a sporty scooter and befriends the cute and free-spirited Talia (Gugu Mbatha-Raw), who renames him "Lance Corona" and recruits him into her scooter gang. She even gives Larry a makeover, giving him a new hairdo and ditching his dorky polo shirts for a hip leather jacket. Next, Larry signs up for a morning class on informal speaking taught by the disillusioned Mercedes Tainot (Julia Roberts). Not only has she lost her passion for academia, but she also deals with a husband (Bryan Cranston), who considers posting on internet message boards as creating a beachhead in new media. He also surfs for porn, but since this is a PG-13 movie, the women are fully clothed.

In addition to directing, producing, and starring in Larry Crowne, Tom Hanks co-wrote the script with Nia Vardalos, whose My Big Fat Greek Wedding was championed by Hanks and wife Rita Wilson. Vardalos has yet to recapture the same success and the middling response to the clichéd Larry Crowne won't change that. The way in which the film offers sitcom solutions to complex issues borders on condescension. Is a degree from a community college really going to protect someone from the economic downturn? I know people with Master's degrees who are still having a rough time in the job market. How does Larry Crowne still manage to stay afloat in Los Angeles while working as a part-time short order cook? Sometimes Crowne comes off more as a man going through a mid-life crisis when he's wearing a leather jacket and wallet chain.

Larry Crowne was released the same weekend as Transformers: Dark of the Moon. It certainly serves its purpose as counter-programming to the hordes of loud, effects heavy blockbusters. Hanks and Roberts (who gets more beautiful with age) have a winning chemistry together and there are some fun performances from Taraji P. Henson and Rami Malek as an annoyingly dim classmate. Without a doubt, the best thing in the movie is George Takei as an eccentric economics professor. The boisterous Takei steals every one of his scenes. I wouldn't want to see Larry Crowne 2, but I'd readily shell out twelve bucks to see a spin-off starring the former Mr. Sulu.

It's obvious Larry Crowne was meant as a soothing salve on the gaping wounds caused by the financial collapse with Hanks serving as a modern day Frank Capra or Preston Sturges. Sadly, Hanks is unable to capture the heart and wit of those cinematic masters. It is simply populist pabulum with a tone as affable and easy-going as its leading man.

Rating: ** (*****)

13

2011-11-16T11:00:00.000-08:00

13 - Dir. Géla Babluani (2011)

Remakes happen all the time. On occasion, those remakes will be helmed by the director of the original movie. Cecil B. DeMille first made The Ten Commandments as a silent film in 1923 before his more iconic version in 1956 with Charlton Heston. Alfred Hitchcock did the same with The Man Who Knew Too Much, which he originally directed in 1934 then remade in 1956 as well. Both directors were more experienced and polished the second time around and the remakes have become more renowned than their predecessors. Those may be exceptions to the rule. More often than not, the remake is considered a lesser picture compared to the original. Michael Haneke's Funny Games is a prime example though I'm not a fan of either version. The Pang Brothers' Bangkok Dangerous, which featured the unique concept of a hitman who was deaf. For the American remake starring Nicolas Cage, the lead was no longer deaf and the results were met with derision. This brings us to 13, a remake of 13 Tzameti, both of which were directed by Georgian-French filmmaker Géla Babluani.

Vince Ferro (Sam Riley) is an electrician whose family is drowning in debt. They are unable to make mortgage payments on their home and Vince's father requires expensive medical care. He overhears his employer discuss a lucrative opportunity after receiving a mysterious envelope. When said employer overdoses on heroin, Vince steals the letter and follows the byzantine instructions while unknowingly eluding the police.

Vince is taken to a ritzy mansion in the countryside and is shocked to learn he has become a participant (number 13) in a high stakes game of Russian roulette. The contestants are given a single bullet then stand in a circle and forced to aim a gun at the back of the next man's head. The survivors are given one more bullet with each successive round. The final round is a face to face duel between the last men standing. All the while, gangsters and wealthy ne'er do wells bet millions of dollars on who will live and die.

The majority of the competitors remain anonymous, but the narrative does delve into the back stories of two others. Mickey Rourke plays Jefferson, an American locked up in a Mexican prison after a heist who is shanghaied into the game. Ray Winstone is Ronald, who won last year's tournament and is checked out of a mental hospital by his brother, Jasper (Jason Statham).

Released in 2005, the original 13 was a minimalist noir shot in stark black and white. Babluani's film was a prescient parable about the wealthy elite exploiting the middle and lower classes. His remake is little more than empty imitation. For a movie where the stakes are life and death, 13 surprisingly lacks any tension. The original had a genuine sense of claustrophobia and you could almost smell the sweat on the brows of the players. Here, you just want the movie to hurry up and get on with it. Meanwhile, the histories of Jefferson and Ronald are dropped clumsily into the story. While Ronald and Jasper play relevant roles in the third act, Jefferson's didn't even need to be there.

13 has a stellar cast in its favor. Sam Riley, who was impressive as doomed Joy Division frontman Ian Curtis in Control, gives a strong performance as Vince. There are also solid turns from Rourke, Winston, Jason Statham, Michael Shannon as the emcee, Ben Gazzara as a dapper gambler, Alexander Skarsgard as Vince's handler, and David Zayas as a police detective. The worst performance, however, comes from rapper Curtis "50 Cent' Jackson, who might want to spend some money on acting lessons after his embarrassingly wooden turn here.

Despite an ensemble cast of name actors, 13 sat on the shelves for over a year before being released directly to video. 13 isn't so much a bad movie as it is a bland one where everyone involved seem to be going through the motions.

Rating: * ½ (*****)

The Three Musketeers

2011-11-12T15:25:00.000-08:00

The Three Musketeers - Dir. Paul W.S. Anderson (2011)

Paul W.S. Anderson is a name feared by all right-thinking film critics. Much like Michael Bay, M. Night Shyamalan, and Uwe Boll, when Anderson's name appears in the credits, nothing good can come of it. Anderson takes time away from video game adaptations for The Three Musketeers, in which he turns Alexandre Dumas's seminal swashbuckling adventure into a garish and modernized thrill ride.

The story begins in Venice with Athos (Matthew Macfadyen), Aramis (Luke Evans), and Porthos (Ray Stevenson) breaking into the vault of Leonardo da Vinci in order to steal blueprints for an airship. They are betrayed by Athos's paramour, Milady de Winter (Milla Jovovich), who steals the plans for Lord Buckingham (Orlando Bloom) in order to build a fleet of flying war machines.

A year later, the Musketeers are now living in disgrace. Athos has become a drunkard, Aramis is relegated to being a glorified meter maid, and Porthos lives off richer women. Along comes the hotshot D'Artagnan (Logan Lerman) who hopes to follow in his father's footsteps as a Musketeer. They band together and uncover a plot by Cardinal Richelieu (Christoph Waltz) and Milady to plunge France into war against England by fabricating an illicit affair between Buckingham and the Queen (Juno Temple).

The Three Musketeers lives up to the reputation of its director as a mindless spectacle that is light on intelligence and heavy on action. There's plenty of lavishly choreographed swordfights such as when the Musketeers face the Cardinal's guards with the odds ten to one. These clashes are broken up with slow motion flourishes in the vein of Zack Snyder or the Wachowskis. Anderson's wife, Milla Jovovich, gets her chance to shine once again performing Resident Evil-style stunts while wearing ornate 17th century gowns and tight corsets. Her Milady is part-Mata Hari and part-ninja assassin. It's all so ludicrous, but the movie is pushed into absurd boundaries when a steampunk element is introduced through the use of flying pirate ships armed with turrets and flamethrowers. And just when all this action builds to a crescendo, it sinks like the Hindenburg thanks to a non-ending that shamelessly sets up a sequel.

Matthew Macfadyen and Luke Evans give solid performances as Athos and Aramis while Ray Stevenson follows Thor by once again playing the boisterous member of a trio of warriors. Logan Lerman is far too white bread to leave any impression as D'Artagnan and his romance with Gabriella Wilde as one of the Queen's ladies in waiting is equally bland. Christoph Waltz is never given the chance to really shine as one of the movie's many villains. As the Cardinal's henchman, Rochefort, Mads Mikkelsen is easily the best thing in Musketeers, playing a one-eyed man for the third time after Casino Royale and Valhalla Rising. Orlando Bloom is the worst thing in the movie. His attempts at playing an over-the-top bad guy are awful and thoroughly unconvincing.

As he did with Resident Evil: Afterlife, Anderson shot The Three Musketeers in 3D, but the process hardly adds anything to the experience aside from a dimmer picture and the occasional blade pointed at your face.

The Three Musketeers cost $75 million and has so far barely scrapped together $20 million in box office gross. Surely, Summit Entertainment can find better uses for all those piles of Twilight money. Even with a strong ensemble cast, Musketeers can't offer the empty excitement expected of shallow popcorn fare.

Rating: * (*****)

The Change-Up

2011-11-06T23:30:00.000-08:00

The Change-Up - Dir. David Dobkin (2011)

2011 has been flush with raunchy, R-rated comedies. Though it received poor reviews, The Hangover Part II was undoubtedly the biggest financial success with a box office gross of over $300 million. Bridesmaids was more critically accepted and one of the better films of the year. There were also plenty of also-rans like Bad Teacher, Horrible Bosses, Friends with Benefits, and Hall Pass. Then, there's The Change-Up which takes a low-brow, Judd Apatow-style approach to that 80's staple – the body switch movie. Think Freaky Friday and Vice Versa with plenty of dick and poop jokes.

Dave Lockwood (Jason Bateman) is a workaholic lawyer with a loving wife, Jamie (Leslie Mann), and three kids. When he's not putting in long hours at the office and bucking for a promotion, Dave is up in the wee hours of the morning changing diapers and heating formula. His best friend, Mitch Planko (Ryan Reynolds), has no such responsibilities. As a wannabe actor, Mitch spends his days smoking pot, playing video games, and having kinky sex with a steady stream of loose women. After a night at the bar, the two of them piss into a fountain while idly wishing they had each others' lives.

The next morning, Dave and Mitch are shocked to discover they've switched bodies. To make matters worse, the magical fountain has been removed and lost in a sea of bureaucracy. They must make the most of their strange situation until they can find a way to switch back. Mitch is in way over his head taking care of a family while negotiating a multi-million dollar merger. On the other hand, Dave enjoys his new freedom as a carefree bachelor. There's even the possibility of a dalliance with his gorgeous assistant, Sabrina (Olivia Wilde). Is it really cheating if you're in someone else's body?

Don't expect The Change-Up to intelligently deal with high-falutin' questions of morality. Its primary concern is revealed during an opening scene featuring a baby's undulating sphincter followed by a shot of Jason Bateman getting a mouthful of projectile feces. The scatological humor is a recurring theme in The Change-Up with another gag involving Leslie Mann making a very noisy bowel movement and Ryan Reynolds being forced to stick his thumb up a woman's butthole during a making of a "lorno" (a light porno). The woman, by the way, is played by Taafe O'Connell, the scream queen best known for being raped by a giant worm in the Roger Corman production, Galaxy of Terror. I'm no prude. I enjoy good toilet humor every now and then, but the gross-out gags of The Change-Up wear thin real quick.

If an R-rated comedy can't offer up a few decent chuckles, you can at least expect some quality nudity, but The Change-Up isn't even able to do that. While we do see several actresses in various states of undress (including Leslie Mann), those breasts were all done through prosthetics or CGI. Those delightfully digital nipples may be fool many, but later effects depicting toddlers juggling kitchen knives and banging their heads against a crib are thoroughly unconvincing.

One reason why a film like Freaky Friday works is because there is a drastic difference between the two protagonists who have switched, Barbara Harris changing with a teenaged Jodie Foster or Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan in the remake. There isn't a lot to separate Bateman and Reynolds, especially since their acting styles and deliveries aren't far from each other. Bateman gets a little more to do than simply play the straight man, but Reynolds runs through his usual wisecracking persona throughout. Alan Arkin is completely wasted in a throwaway role as Mitch's disappointed dad. Olivia Wilde provides some of the film's few bright spots just by being cool and insanely hot.

You'd think Michael Bluth switching bodies with the Green Lantern would be more fun. "The Change-Up" had a lot of potential as it starred two proven comedic actors in Jason Bateman and Ryan Reynolds. It was helmed by David Dobkin, the director of "Wedding Crashers," and written by Jon Lucas and Scott Moore, who also penned "The Hangover" movies. Unfortunately, everyone goes through the motions. The results are a movie that is lazy, puerile, and ultimately forgettable.

Rating: * ½ (*****)

The Nutcracker

2011-11-05T23:33:00.000-07:00

The Nutcracker - Dir. Andrei Konchalovskiy (2010)

As a film critic, I am blessed to be able to review and discuss so many great films. The trade off is that I am often forced to sit through some truly terrible ones. But, never have I run into a movie so horrible that it actually made me question my choice to become a critic. Never until The Nutcracker, a movie so wretched that it not only made me question my career choices, but made me question the very purpose of my life. Yes, the sheer horrendousness of The Nutcracker actually shook me on an existential level.

Filmmaker Andrey Konchalovskiy has had a long and varied career. He co-wrote the screenplay for Andrei Rublev with the great Andrei Tarkovsky along with directing films like Runaway Train and Tango & Cash. Okay, so they all can't be winners. Still, Tango & Cash is a cinematic classic compared to The Nutcracker: The Untold Story, a decades old dream project of Konchalovskiy's. These dreams must have come after imbibing of too much egg nog and fruitcake. Konchalovskiy and co-writer Chris Solimine adapted their script from Tchaikovsky's famed ballet and E.T.A. Hoffman's original story, The Nutcracker and the Mouse King, which inspired it. There are also Nazis because everything is improved with the addition of Nazis.

The film is set in Vienna during the 1940's with young Mary (Elle Fanning) looking forward to spending Christmas with her family. Those hopes are dashed when her parents (Richard E. Grant and the director's wife, Yuliya Vysotskaya) plan to attend a lavish party with all the other bluebloods. She is further irritated by her younger brother, Max (Aaron Michael Drozin), when he callously breaks her toys. The holiday picks up when the children are visited by their eccentric Uncle Albert Einstein (Nathan Lane), who gifts Mary with a wooden nutcracker. Later that night, Mary is shocked when the Nutcracker (voiced by Shirley Henderson) comes to life. It turns out the Nutcracker, calling himself N.C., is really a prince who was transformed and banished from his land by the evil Rat King (John Turturro) and his goose-stepping minions. Together, Mary and N.C. embark on a quest to break the curse and liberate the prince's kingdom.

Konchalovskiy's production is a nightmarish melding of musical and dance while blatantly stealing from other fantasy works like The Wizard of Oz and Alice in Wonderland. Another character, a dreadlocked drummer boy named Sticks (Africa Nile), looks like he wandered away from the cast of Stomp. The second-rate Terry Gilliam style set designs and special effects range from downright laughable to ugly eyesores. There is absolutely no sense of grandeur. There's no sense of grace to the few dance numbers in the picture. The first is an approximation of the "Waltz of the Snowflakes" with Elle Fanning twirling around with snow fairies in front of some atrocious green screen work. Later, we get John Turturro effeminately prancing around before electrocuting a shark inside an aquarium tank in a random reference to contemporary artist Damien Hirst's The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living. I suppose the audience is supposed to think Konchalovskiy is incredibly cultured and intelligent for throwing this into a kids' movie.

The one good thing The Nutcracker has going for it are the renowned compositions by Tchaikovsky. Unfortunately, Konchalovskiy finds a way to ruin those by drowning them out with inane lyrics by Tim Rice, who has written lyrics for Andrew Lloyd Webber (Jesus Christ Superstar, Evita) and Disney (Beauty and the Beast, The Lion King). Don't expect comparable work here, Rice must have pulled stuff out of his ass for a quick paycheck. The music gets off to a rotten start with Nathan Lane and his cartoonish German accent crooning a Mary Poppins-esque ditty about relativity to "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies."

Despite advertising itself as a whimsical fantasy for the whole family, The Nutcracker has enough creepy imagery that parents should be warned. In fact, some adults may also find some of its elements to be disturbing as well. When angered, Turturro's face morphs into a more deformed rat-like visage that instantly reminded me of Large Marge from Pee Wee's Big Adventure. The wooden Nutcracker also has a sinister bent with his bulging, soulless eyes. There's also an unsettling monkey man. I haven't even gotten to how the rats are rounding up all the children's toys and throwing them into a massive crematorium. Talk about poor taste.

The Nutcracker was released into theaters at the end of 2010 around the same time as Sofia Coppola's Somewhere, which also starred Elle Fanning. You might notice she looks a lot younger here. That's because this film went into production in 2007 and set for a release in December of 2009 as The Nutcracker in 3D. However, the post-conversion process was so shoddily done that it was pushed back another year while the $65 million budget ballooned to a ridiculous $90 million.

Even when I have to write a bad review about a picture, I try to be diplomatic about it. I try to find at least one or two redeeming qualities. Alas, there are none aside from the miniscule relief I felt about not having to see this crap in 3D. I cannot hold back the epic levels of hatred I had for Konchalovskiy's The Nutcracker, which has earned a whopping 0% on Rotten Tomatoes. How did anyone possibly think anything about this movie was a good idea?

Rating: DUD

Red State

2011-10-29T22:45:00.000-07:00

Red State - Dir. Kevin Smith (2011)

"God doesn't love you…unless you fear him."

Kevin Smith is one of those rare filmmakers who has become a brand name. He has accumulated a devout following who will buy anything that has his name on it. Smith became a poster boy for do-it-yourself cinema with his debut film, Clerks, which spawned a series of R-rated comedies such as Mallrats and Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back that found more success on home video than in theaters. His most mature work was undoubtedly Chasing Amy, an unconventional love story that touched upon sex and gender politics.

Red State marks a return to his indie roots following a dismal attempt as a director-for-hire with Cop Out. Smith raised the $4 million budget himself and self-distributed Red State through a series of select screenings paired with Q&A sessions as well as making it available through iTunes, Video on Demand, Netflix, and recently DVD and Blu-Ray. Be forewarned, Red State is not a comedy. Smith steps out of his comfort zone with a film that drifts into the genres of horror and thriller.

Red State begins a lot like a typical Kevin Smith flick with three horny, high school boys graphically discussing sex. Thanks to the internet, Travis (Michael Angarano), Jarod (Kyle Gallner), and Billy-Ray (Nicholas Braun) have reached out to an older woman who wants to have a gangbang with them. That woman turns out to be Sarah Cooper (Melissa Leo), the daughter of Abin Cooper (Michael Parks), leader of a fanatical religious group known as the Five Points Church. The Church has become infamous within their small Midwest community for protesting at funerals and their unwavering hatred of homosexuals. They have lured the teens to their compound and plan to murder them on their altar.

After one of his deputies is killed, the local sheriff (Stephen Root) calls for assistance from the government. Special Agent Keenan (John Goodman) is sent in with an ATF strike force to negotiate the surrender of the Five Pointers. He is shocked when his superiors order a full raid and permission to use deadly force having labeled the zealots as domestic terrorists.

Red State is a drastic departure for Kevin Smith. Not just in terms of subject matter, but in regards to his directorial style. By his own admission, Smith is not a visual filmmaker, preferring to tell his stories through dialogue rather than complex camera movements or ornate shot compositions. Red State is nothing like the visually static films of Smith's past. It has a gritty and dirty look to it with a color palette that runs towards the brown and the gray. As the situation descends into a violent Waco-esque shootout, Smith and cinematographer Dave Klein employ a frantic camera style, but avoid the nauseating shaky cam that has plagued action sequences in this post-Jason Bourne era.

Kevin Smith's way with words is on full display here as Red State is dotted with several clever exchanges including one (in regards to the Coopers' massive cross) between Agent Keenan and his right-hand man played by Kevin Pollak.

"How much do you think a cross like that costs?"
"In dollars or common sense?"

Smith toys with the audience by shifting perspectives from the boys to the religious nuts to the ATF agents. And none of them are particularly sympathetic. The only character that elicits any empathy is Sarah's daughter, Cheyenne (Kerry Bishé), who desperately tries to reason with the ATF and her own family to safeguard the lives of the young children in the compound.

The lack of a strong protagonist isn't a problem though. The problem comes from a litany of characters that are thinly sketched. It's also topped with a rushed plot that never delves any deeper and relies too much on convenience. At first, Keenan reluctantly follows orders to storm the church with guns blazing while his tactical commander adamantly opposes. Later, their roles are switched on a dime with the commander gunning down unarmed people without remorse.

Red State is a sharp stab to the eye of the religious right and an unchecked, authoritarian government. This is a picture marked by strong performances from Melissa Leo, John Goodman and character actors like Kevin Pollak and Stephen Root. However, the film is commanded by a mesmerizing and chilling turn by Michael Parks. Yet, that alone isn't enough to make Red State anything more than a bold, but flawed, experiment.

Rating: ** (*****)

Tucker & Dale vs. Evil

2011-10-24T14:39:00.000-07:00

Tucker & Dale vs. Evil - Dir. Eli Craig (2011)

College kids go off on a camping trip in the woods only to find their spring break ruined by a murderous clan of inbred rednecks. That particular plotline and variations on it have become a tried and true staple of the horror genre. Inspired by films like Deliverance, The Hills Have Eyes, and Texas Chainsaw Massacre, writer/director Eli Craig (who co-wrote the script with Morgen Jurgenson) cleverly twists the genre conventions with Tucker & Dale vs. Evil which casts the rednecks in a sympathetic light while the vacationing teens play the villains.

Tucker (Alan Tudyk) and Dale (Tyler Labine) are a pair of genial country bumpkins living in rural West Virginia. They've recently purchased a dilapidated cabin in the woods that they hope to renovate into a summer cottage. At the same time, a group of college students set up camp nearby and are immediately creeped out by these odd looking fellas in overalls and mesh trucker caps. One night, perky blonde Allison (Katrina Bowden) is knocked unconscious while skinny dipping and rescued by Tucker and Dale, the latter of whom develops a crush on her. The other teenagers falsely believe Allison has been kidnapped and urged to take action by her boyfriend, Chad (Jesse Moss), who possesses an unnerving hatred for hillbillies.

The kids make a series of bumbling attempts to rescue Allison that lead to their own violent demises. In a scene rivaling Fargo, one boy tries to jump Tucker and accidentally falls into a wood chipper. This leads Tucker and Dale into believing the kids are enacting a suicide pact.

Eli Craig has come up with several inventive and gruesome kills. He also manages to subvert many of the iconic imagery of horror films. When Tucker runs howling through the woods with a chainsaw, it's because he got stung by a swarm of bees. In another scene, Dale awkwardly tries to talk to Allison at a gas station. Told by Tucker to laugh a lot, he cackles maniacally while holding a Grim Reaper scythe and unintentionally frightens the teens.

Genre fans will likely gravitate towards Tucker & Dale due to Alan Tudyk's work on Firefly and Tyler Labine's on Reaper. Tudyk and Labine are hilarious in their roles without turning the characters into southern fried caricatures. They are slightly dim-witted, but not annoyingly stupid. There is also a surprising sweetness to the budding romance between Dale and Allison, played by the gorgeous Katrina Bowden, best known as Cerie, the flighty receptionist on 30 Rock.

Tucker & Dale vs. Evil has all the makings of a midnight cult classic. As a fusion of horror and comedy, it stands alongside recent titles like Shaun of the Dead and Zombieland.

Rating; *** (*****)

Beautiful Boy

2011-10-23T17:06:00.000-07:00

Beautiful Boy - Dir. Shawn Ku (2011)

From Michael Moore's documentary Bowling for Columbine to Gus Van Sant's unsettling Elephant, many films have attempted to tackle the sensitive subject of school shootings. This year, two pictures are examining the consequences and impact these shootings have on the parents of the perpetrator. Lynne Ramsay's adaptation of Lionel Shriver's 2003 novel, We Need to Talk About Kevin, has won rave reviews at Cannes and other film festivals. Though it was released earlier in the year, Beautiful Boy, which was partly inspired by the massacre at Virginia Tech in 2007, has yet to receive similar acclaim.

Michael Sheen and Maria Bello star as Bill and Kate Carroll, a middle class, suburban family with a son, Sam (Kyle Gallner), away at college. Bill and Kate's marriage is on the rocks with the husband growing distant while the wife plans a vacation in a desperate attempt to hold things together. Sam calls his parents one night and obviously seems depressed, but they don't pick up on it and simply tell their son to "study hard." The next morning, Bill and Kate awaken to horrible news that a shooting has occurred at their son's campus. Police detectives arrive on their doorstep and Kate immediately realizes Sam is dead, but the officers have more information to reveal. Sam was the shooter. He murdered 21 of his classmates before turning the gun on himself.

Bill and Kate are shocked and offer no answers to the authorities over what possessed their son to commit this unthinkable act. Unable to even comprehend these turn of events, the grieving parents are ostracized by their community and besieged by reporters with camera crews camping out on their front lawn. They seek refuge with at the home of Bill's brother, Eric (Alan Tudyk), and his wife, Trish (Moon Bloodgood). Kate unhealthily deals with her pain by occupying herself with meaningless house chores and mothering her nephew (Cody Wai-ho Lee), which inevitably irritates Trish. The Carrolls eventually hide out in a motel run by Meat Loaf where they attempt to pick up the shattered pieces of their lives.

Beautiful Boy marks the feature debut of director Shawn Ku, who co-wrote the screenplay with Michael Armbruster. Ku employs a documentary style with numerous close-ups and minimal editing. Rather than cutting from one actor to another during a conversation, Ku commands the camera to swish pan back and forth. At times, the movements are hardly noticeable. At other times, it feels like an unnecessary usage of shaky cam.

The script itself is wrought with melodramatic moments and heavy handed elements. Kate works as a book editor. In one scene, she returns a manuscript to a prospective writer filled with marks by her red pen, which is obviously meant to enforce her image as a controlling perfectionist.

Since Beautiful Boy is a weighty drama, the acting is very showy with plenty of moments for the cast to rage at the top of their lungs or collapse into tears. If you're into that sort of thing, this might be right up your alley. Yet, the film is most effective during its quieter scenes with Michael Sheen delivering an understated performance when called upon. Alan Tudyk, known for his more comedic roles in Firefly and Death at a Funeral, gets the rare chance to flex his dramatic muscles and does a fine job. Kyle Gallner is typecast as the troubled teen, who only appears briefly in the opening and occasionally after that when the news broadcast his maniacal manifesto. One of the saddest scenes finds Sam reading a heartfelt poem that falls on the deaf ears of his apathetic classmates.

Beautiful Boy is the exact opposite of a feel-good movie. This is a tragic story that ultimately comes off as a made-for-TV movie of the week that was made to cash in on recent headlines. It's a well intentioned film that never hits the raw nerve it aims for.

Rating: * ½ (*****)

Blitz

2011-10-22T18:49:00.000-07:00

Blitz - Dir. Elliott Lester (2011)

Jason Statham kicked off his acting career by appearing in comedic crime films for Guy Ritchie. Since then, he has grown into a recognizable action star looking to fill in the holes left by the aging heroes of the past like Arnold and Stallone. Statham has the steely gaze and charisma to make most of the B-grade scripts he picks watchable. Blitz isn't one of them.

Statham plays an uncouth, violent, and politically incorrect London police officer by the name of Detective Sgt. Tom Brant. In the opening sequence, Brant beats the crap out of a trio of muggers with a hurling stick. He gets chewed out by his superior officer for the incident as well as for other uses of excessive force. Their attentions are quickly turned to a serial killer calling himself Blitz (Aiden Gillen), who is targeting cops in sudden and brutal fashion. Brant is paired up with Inspector Porter Nash (Paddy Considione), who is looked down upon by other officers due to his homosexuality. Nash is the well-mannered and well-dressed opposite of Brant. They're the British, crime-solving Odd Couple.

Blitz plods along with a dull predictability and without an iota of suspense or surprise. In fact, the film comes off as a glorified prime time pilot with the resolution tying up loose ends in a trite manner. Pointless subplots are used to pad out the running time such as one involving a uniformed officer (Zawe Ashton) trying to kick a drug habit she picked up while undercover and a romantically interested detective (Luke Evans).

In the end, Blitz is nothing more than a forgettable knockoff of Dirty Harry.

Rating: * (*****)

The Ides of March

2011-10-17T23:45:00.000-07:00

The Ides of March - Dir. George Clooney (2011)

The Ides of March, a pessimistic take on politics, receives a timely release with the nation's future as uncertain as ever and President Obama's approval ratings dropping to record lows.

Stephen Meyers (Ryan Gosling) is the press secretary for the presidential campaign of Pennsylvania Gov. Mike Morris (George Clooney). Morris is the left-leaning liberal's wet dream; a handsome and charismatic politician who happens to be an atheist, pro-choice, anti-death penalty, and he wants to tax the rich and phase out combustible engines within ten years. Suspension of disbelief may be required to believe Morris stands a snowball's chance. The only threat to his bid for the Democratic nomination is Sen. Pullman (Michael Mantell). He isn't nearly as popular or photogenic as Morris, but conservatives will vote for him because they know he doesn't stand a chance against the Republican candidate.

Stephen receives a call from Tom Duffy (Paul Giamatti), the rival campaign manager for Pullman. He foolishly accepts a meeting with Duffy, which sets off a chain reaction that could derail Morris' bid for presidency and Stephen's entire career.

The A-list ensemble cast includes: Evan Rachel Wood as an intern and love interest for Stephen, Philip Seymour Hoffman as Paul Zara the campaign manager for Mills, Jennifer Ehle as Mrs. Cindy Morris, and Marisa Tomei as a New York Times reporter.

As a director, George Clooney has shown he has studied under the learning tree of Steven Soderbergh and the Coen Brothers. He has accumulated a diverse filmography that includes the Charlie Kaufman-penned Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, the stark black and white drama Good Night, and Good Luck (one of the best film's of 2005), and the screwball comedy Leatherheads. The Ides of March isn't as strong as his sophomore effort, but it is a throwback to the politically charged thrillers of the 1970's. Clooney is clearly mimicking the work of Alan J. Pakula and Sidney Lumet. Not too shocking as Clooney has named Lumet's Network as one of his favorite films of all time.

The Ides of March is based on the play, Farragut North, which written by Beau Willimon who worked on the 2004 presidential campaign of Howard Dean. The play took its title from the subway station in Washington D.C. that sits at lobbyist central. In the play and the film (which was adapted by Clooney and writing partner Grant Heslov), Farragut North is a looming specter as the place where failed politicos go when ideals die. Tom Duffy warns Stephen that staying in politics too long will leave you cynical and jaded. That is the central theme of the movie as it follows the formerly optimistic Stephen's descent into compromise, blackmail, and backroom dealings.

The first act does a splendid job focusing on the little-seen gears and cogs of the political machine. Highlighted by clever, Sorkin-esque dialogue, Ides delves into the dirty deeds and subterfuge that goes along with the glad handing and fundraising. The film diverges from the play when it adds a series of soap opera twists and turns, none of which is as interesting as the earlier sections. The plot sags a bit in the middle before picking up towards the end. Thankfully, the ultra-talented cast lifts the material above its melodramatic trappings. Gosling is given more dialogue than Drive, but exudes the same simmering quality. It's also a treat to see actors of the caliber of Paul Giamatti and Philip Seymour Hoffman verbally sparring as two old campaign war horses. Though he's only in a handful of scenes, Jeffrey Wright brings a commanding presence as a North Carolina senator bucking for a cushy cabinet position in exchange for his vital endorsement.

The Ides of March had all the makings of an awards season darling and a classic political thriller. It doesn't reach those lofty levels the way Michael Clayton or Good Night, and Good Luck did. However, it is a well-made picture solidly directed by Clooney and packed with excellent performances.

Rating: *** (*****)

Real Steel

2011-10-16T18:38:00.000-07:00

Real Steel - Dir. Shawn Levy (2011)

"Let's make some money!"

Despite outward appearances, Real Steel is not based on Rock ‘Em, Sock ‘Em Robots. It’s loosely based on a 1956 short story by sci-fi author Richard Matheson and was previously adapted as an episode on The Twilight Zone with Lee Marvin as a down-and-out manager of a robot boxer. Hugh Jackman steps into that role, but Real Steel only tangentially resembles those previous versions. After phenomenal success with the Transformers franchise, it was no surprise that Dreamworks and producers Steven Spielberg and Don Murphy would dip into the robot well one more time.

The year is 2020 and combat sports are participated by robots instead of humans. Charlie Kenton (Jackman) was a former pro boxer with a mediocre record, who hustles for money at state fairs and campgrounds with his busted up robot fighter. In the opening sequence, Kenton’s ‘bot is destroyed by a rodeo bull. Soon after, he receives word that an ex-girlfriend has died and parental custody of his estranged son, Max (Dakota Goyo), is being contested by Max’s aunt, Debra (Hope Davis). Charlie has no problem with ditching the kid, but wants something in return and finagles a backroom deal with Debra’s fiancé (James Rebhorn) to essentially sell Max for $100,000, half up front. Father and son are stuck with each other for the summer as Charlie uses the money to purchase a new robot, Noisy Boy, to compete on the underground circuit.

Noisy Boy gets wrecked in his first fight thanks to Charlie's inexperience with its voice commands. Forced to scrounge for spare parts in a junkyard, Max comes across an entire robot buried in the mud. It is Atom, an old model designed only for sparring. Atom is built to take a lot of punishment, but never dishing any out, as Charlie explains. Max sees a lot of himself in Atom, both are alone and unwanted. The kid takes it upon himself to upgrade and train Atom himself through its shadow function, which allows the 'bot to copy the movement of its owner. There's also a hint that Atom might possess an iota of self-awareness. This thread isn't fully explored as the producers are likely saving it for a sequel.

To the surprise of Charlie, Max's robot begins tearing up the back alley arenas and catching the attention of promoters from the professional World Robot League. This leads to an inevitable showdown between Atom and the WRL champion Zeus, an automaton backed by a Russian heiress (Olga Fonda) and a genius Japanese designer (Karl Yune).

One thing Real Steel has going for it is the gorgeous cinematography by Mauro Fiore, who also shot Avatar. From the wheat fields of the Midwest to the metallic factories where the robots do battle, Fiore gives everything a glossy sheen.

The robots of Real Steel are sleeker and better designed than the unsightly clunkers of Michael Bay's Transformers. Each one has a distinct, retro feel that makes it easier to follow the boxing matches. Too many times did the action scenes in Transformers descend into an indiscernible mass of pixels. The fights in Real Steel are exhilarating and well-done with the legendary Sugar Ray Leonard serving as the film's consultant. The slick cinematography and convincing special effects are enough to carry the movie visually, despite the bland direction of Shawn Levy, a master of populist and pandering pap. He did, after all, direct the Night at the Museum pictures.

Real Steel lacks any originality with a predictable narrative full of saccharine moments more manufactured than its robotic pugilists. Real Steel mixes mechanical mayhem with an underdog sports story in the vein of The Champ with a dash of Paper Moon. Rocky is cribbed numerous times, but the main plot resembles another famous Stallone flick, Over the Top with the estranged father and son embarking on a road trip to revive their relationship. An already derivative script is further hampered by protagonists who are less than sympathetic. Charlie is not a lovable scoundrel, but an outright asshole. He is crude and just plain stupid sometimes. Max suffers from cute kid syndrome. Dakota Goyo, who also played the young god of thunder in Thor, isn't as grating as other child actors (Jake Lloyd and Jaden Smith, I'm looking at you), but he could stand to be less precocious. Charlie and Max are steered towards more tolerable levels as the movie progresses.

Hugh Jackman has all the screen idol looks and charisma to excel in the lead role though his performance isn't enough to transcend the material. Anthony Mackie and Jackman's Wolverine co-star Kevin Durand are good in minor roles as an underground promoter and a redneck antagonist, respectively. Female roles are given the short shrift. Evangeline Lilly appears as love interest, Bailey, the daughter of Charlie's late-trainer who is desperately trying to maintain her father's dusty gym. Lilly doesn't get to do much other than pine for her beau, which is more than what is given to an utterly wasted Hope Davis.

Real Steel can easily be summed up by its crass product placement where Dr. Pepper, X-Box, and Bing logos and products are front and center. It's most out-and-out sci-fi element has to be Hewlett-Packard technology running the entire show. This is a highly commercialized picture lacking any genuine heart and refined through demographic surveys and test audiences.

Richard Matheson is best known for writing I Am Legend, which was adapted into a 2007 blockbuster starring Will Smith. The film version completely missed the point of the original story, which saw the last surviving man metaphorically becoming the very monster he was trying to exterminate. Matheson's original "Steel" was a tale about man vs. machine not failed man achieving success vicariously through machine. It's not surprising that Hollywood misses the point once again. Let's make some money indeed, Hugh Jackman.

Rating: ** (*****)

Submarine

2011-10-15T13:09:00.000-07:00

Submarine - Dir. Richard Ayoade (2011)

As long as there have been teenagers, there have been stories about mopey, love struck adolescents. Submarine follows suit with a young protagonist who seemed to have been raised on a steady diet of J.D. Salinger and French New Wave cinema.

Oliver Tate (Craig Roberts) is an iconoclastic boy growing up in Wales or more specifically, the suburbs of Swansea, birthplace of Dylan Thomas and Catherine Zeta-Jones. He's the type of kid who brings a briefcase to school with him. Oliver also wears a suit and tie as part of the dress uniform, but you get the feeling he'd probably still wear them if it weren't required. Oliver thinks of himself as a well-heeled and erudite individual. He listens to Serge Gainsbourg and enjoys the films of Jean-Pierre Melville, after all. Most importantly, Oliver believes he is much beloved by his peers. In the opening scene of Submarine, he stares off into the horizon and imagines what would happen to the school if he committed suicide. All the teachers and students would surely mourn his loss. The reality of the situation is that Oliver isn't particularly popular nor is he at the bottom of the food chain. Just like so many high schoolers before and after him, Oliver is simply filling a seat.

Oliver has become smitten with an equally unique classmate named Jordana Bevan (Yasmine Paige), who possesses a pageboy hairdo, a slight case of eczema, and a penchant for burning things. Oliver goes against his principals to bully an overweight girl in order to grab Jordana's attention. Though he feels remorse, the ploy works. However, the supposedly mature Oliver learns that love carries a heavy emotional weight that he is not equipped to handle. At the same time, he must try to save his parents' marriage. Oliver's father, Lloyd (Noah Taylor) is sleepwalking through life due to a crushing bout of depression. This has caused his wife, Jill (Sally Hawkins), to drift towards her ex-boyfriend, Graham Purvis (Paddie Considione), a ridiculous new age guru with a spiky mullet.

Based on a 2008 novel by Joe Dunthorne, Submarine marks the feature directorial debut of Richard Ayoade, a jack of all trades who fans of British comedy might recognize from series like The IT Crowd and Garth Marenghi's Darkplace. He also helmed the "Critical Film Studies" episode of NBC's Community, which featured a fusion of Pulp Fiction and Louis Malle's My Dinner with Andre. With the sure hand of a seasoned director, Ayoade has created a visually striking picture that might have come out of a time capsule. Submarine has a vintage look and a timeless feel to an era where kids passed around notes in class rather than texting on their smartphones. Ayoade also borrows liberally from the Wes Anderson playbook with his straight-on compositions, dry sense of humor, and blocky chapter titles.

Craig Roberts' most notable role to date was a brief appearance in Jane Eyre as the title character's abusive cousin. Here, Roberts shines in his first starring role in a performance that draws upon Jean-Pierre Leaud's Antoine Doinel, Jason Schwartzman's Max Fischer, and Bud Cort's Harold from Harold and Maude. Roberts' wide eyes and cherubic visage certainly bare a strong resemblance to the latter character. Neither Roberts nor Ayoade shy away from the highs and lows of teenage love. Kids can be cruel and selfish at times and Oliver Tate is no different. He tries to remake Jordana in his image by making her read Nietzsche and watch Carl Theodor Dreyer's The Passion of Joan of Arc. Oliver eventually learns the hard way that he lacks the emotional maturity he naively thought he had. Kids can also be big balls of contradictions. As Oliver maintains an image of wisdom beyond his years, he clings to childish ways when it comes to reconciling his parents crumbling marriage.

Sally Hawkins and Noah Taylor give understated, yet remarkably rich performances as Oliver's parents. The one character that sticks out like a sore thumb is Paddy Considine's psychic ninja, Graham Purvis. He's a cartoon character who would be fit in more at a Kajagoogoo reunion concert. His silliness could be written off as exaggeration by Oliver, whose narration can be heard throughout the film.

Submarine tends to be the overly precious and needlessly quirky cinema that arthouse hipsters eat up with a spoon. If you cannot stand the genre, then Submarine is one to avoid. However, if you are able to get past the showy flourishes, you might find a touching coming-of-age story highlighted by beautiful imagery and a dry sense of humor.

Rating: ** ½ (*****)

Contagion

2011-09-30T13:38:00.000-07:00

Contagion - Dir. Steven Soderbergh (2011)

Steven Soderbergh is one of the few filmmakers working today who rarely repeats himself. He is as comfortable at making big Hollywood spectacles like the Ocean's series as he is with idiosyncratic low-budget projects like Bubble and The Girlfriend Experience. He's also delved into film noir in The Good German (one of my favorite films of 2006) and straight out action in the upcoming Haywire. With diseases of the week like Mad Cow, H1N1, SARS, and bird flu constantly making headlines, it appears to be the perfect time for an epidemic movie.

Contagion begins on Day 2 as Beth Ernhoff (Gwyneth Paltrow), an executive with a mining corporation, returning to her home in Minnesota after a business trip in Hong Kong. She's looking worse for wear to which she blames on jetlag. Soon, she collapses on her kitchen floor, foaming at the mouth and going into convulsions. She dies shortly at the hospital to the horror of her husband, Mitch (Matt Damon), who demands answers, but gets none. Beth isn't the only victim as a socialite in London, a businessman in China, and a student in Tokyo all die from this mysterious new disease. This new virus, dubbed MEV-1, is a strain researchers have never encountered before and they struggle to create a cure as millions are infected.

In the vein of Traffic and other hyperlink films, Contagion juggles an all-star cast and a myriad of plotlines. Matt Damon is the emotional core as the everyman just trying to survive after losing not only his wife, but his stepson as well. He takes the role of overprotective father to the extremes as he attempts to shield his teenage daughter, Jory (a strong screen debut by Anna Jacoby-Heron). Laurence Fishburne appears as Dr, Ellis Cheever, the head of the CDC who attempts to contain the disease and public opinion. He is stymied in his efforts by Alan Krumwiede (Jude Law), a hostile blogger who turns sentiment against the government with his conspiracy theories while pushing a holistic cure. Behind the scenes, he's secretly profiting from the manipulated demand.

Soderbergh eschews genre conventions by taking a clinical and procedural approach to the subject matter rather than a sensationalistic approach. Shot in a cold, gray color palette, Contagion deals in the mathematics and hard facts of the outbreak, showing how quickly the virus would spread, the fatalities, and even the harsh realities of how long a vaccine would be distributed. No surprise, if you're not rich and/or white, you're kind of screwed. Expected imagery such as hospital wards filled with sick patients and mass graves appear in Contagion, but Soderbergh shoots them in a nonchalant manner. He is more interested in the minutiae. As MEV-1 spreads through touch, the camera lingers on ordinary objects such as door knobs, credit cards, and a bowl of complimentary peanuts. The mundane aspects of the virus make it all the more frightening, Just as Jaws made you afraid to go in the water, you might not leave the house without sterile gloves and a breathing mask after watching Contagion. The way in which basic services break down is also chilling. Delivery of essential supplies ends when the teamster unions call it quits. Doctors and nurses walk away from their jobs for fear of becoming afflicted. Also, don't bother calling 911. When Mitch tries to call after spotting armed men, he is answered with an automated message. "You have selected regicide. If you know the name of the king or queen being murdered, press 1 now!"

Soderbergh and screenwriter Scott Z. Burns (who also wrote The Informant!) don't get on a soapbox by launching into tirades about government or the pharmaceutical industry. The majority of characters are portrayed on an even keel. Dr. Cheever is an honest though flawed official while members of the military and Homeland Security are shown as folks just trying to do their job. Yet, the bad apples are still present. As the CDC's Dr. Erin Mears, Kate Winslet is forced to deal with bureaucrats who are more concerned about budgets than treating the ill. Looters and rioting are par for the course. There is also an underlying indictment against the rapid rise of global industrialization, another virulent plague striking modern society. I won't spoil the ending, but the fact that a multinational corporation inadvertently causes the catastrophe is something to chew on.

Not all the storylines in Contagion are winners. Law's Krumwiede feels out of place with the docudrama approach of the film. His storyline is meant to symbolize how disinformation and panic are just as contagious as any pathogen, especially in an era where social media has so firmly integrated into the way we live. But, his character is handled in a very cartoonish manner. He has crooked teeth, for goodness sakes. The only thing missing is a handlebar mustache. Blogging is handled in an outdated manner as if the script had been written four or five years ago. Krimwiede loudly proclaims that print media is dead when a paper is dismissive of his findings. There is a wonderfully clever line spoken by Elliot Gould (as a research scientist) when he rebukes that blogging is just "graffiti with punctuation."

Marion Cotillard is also given the shaft as a doctor from the World Health Organization dispatched to Hong Kong to track down the path of the MEV-1. She is later kidnapped by a colleague who is desperate to receive the vaccine for his rural village. Cotillard is only given a short amount of screen time and then disappears for most of the picture until it's convenient to remember she's still around.

Soderbergh has assembled an impressive cast where even the smallest supporting roles are played by actors of note such as Gould and John Hawkes as a janitor at the CDC's headquarters. Damon and Winslet give two of the most stirring performances in the film. Paltrow's time is short. She doesn't even survive the trailer. However, her early death puts the audience on alert that nobody is safe, no matter how famous they are. Ironically, the best performance in Contagion belongs to an actress who isn't as well-known as her colleagues. Jennifer Ehle, who played Geoffrey Rush's wife in The King's Speech, has won rave notices (and deservedly so) for a scientist working tirelessly to develop a cure.

Contagion also features a pulse pounding score from Cliff Martinez, who also composed the synth score for Drive. Throbbing electronic sounds form the backbone of Martinez's music, which will set the view on edge.

As the disease ravages the Earth, populated metropolises give way to desolate urban landscapes reminiscent of a zombie movie. While Contagion has the feel of sci-fi flicks such as Invasion of the Body Snatchers and 28 Days Later, it is an ultra-realistic, post-9/11 version of Outbreak. Contagion is creepy, enthralling, and will certainly skyrocket sales in Purell.

Rating: *** ½ (*****)

Warrior

2011-09-25T20:45:00.000-07:00

Warrior - Dir. Gavin O'Connor (2011)

Gavin O'Connor delved into family dysfunction with his previous picture, the crime drama Pride and Glory. Before that, he directed 2004's Miracle, a rousing underdog story about the USA's Olympic hockey team and their victory over the heavily-favored Russians. In Warrior, O'Connor and co-writers Anthony Tambakis and Cliff Dorfman combine both themes for a tear jerking story capitalizing on the rise in popularity of MMA and the current economic crisis.

Warrior takes the classic Rocky formula and splits it two ways. The protagonists are estranged brothers, Brendan (Joel Edgerton) and Tommy (Tom Hardy), who were raised by a drunken and abusive father in Paddy Conlon (Nick Nolte). The rift between siblings began when Tommy finally convinced their mother to leave with him for California where she later succumbed to cancer. Brendan chose to stay behind and marry his high school sweetheart, Tess (Jennifer Morrison), with whom he has two beautiful daughters.

Fourteen years later, Tommy returns to the family home in Pittsburgh to find his father is now a recovering alcoholic closing in on a thousand days of sobriety and full of regret. Tommy has been overseas after a tour in the Middle East with the Marines and clearly traumatized about his combat experiences. While working out at a local gym, he becomes a YouTube sensation after pulverizing one of the top welterweight fights in the country during a sparring match. Tommy, an undefeated amateur wrestler in his youth, asks his father to train him once again, but makes it clear there will be no personal connection between the two.

Meanwhile, Brendan has become a high school physics teacher who is in desperate need of money after falling behind on his mortgage. He gets an old friend, Frank Campana (Frank Grillo), to train him for an Atlantic City tournament known as Sparta, where the grand prize is $5 million. Tommy too has entered the contest for his own reason.

Anyone with a firm grasp of basic Hollywood story structure will see where the film is going from the opening minutes. Tess doesn't want her husband becoming a fighter again nor does she wish to see any of his fights. Yet, she will inevitably appear in the front row to support Brendan at a climactic moment. It also shouldn't be much of a spoiler (especially since it's in the trailer) that the brothers will meet in the tournament finals to finally settle the score inside the caged octagon. O'Connor keeps both Brendan and Tommy on an even keel so that the audience's sympathy isn't strongly in favor of one or the other. While the moment is played as a triumphant victory, there is an underlying sense of tragedy that the siblings can only solve their problems by beating the crap out of each other.

There's nothing subtle about Warrior. The movie hammers the viewer with soap opera subplots like a fighter reins down fists on a prone opponent caught in a rear mount. There's Paddy's attempt to remain sober and reconnect with Tommy and Brendan, who was ignored due to the younger's superior athletic achievements. In a ham-fisted attempt at allegory, Paddy listens to Moby Dick on tape with his own white whale being the forgiveness of his sons. Toss in Tommy's need to overcome his harsh life and Brendan's efforts to provide for his family. Oh, and Brendan's youngest daughter has had health problems which required extensive medical attention and insurmountable hospital bills. Each man's fighting style mirrors their own inner turmoil. Tommy is blunt force trauma, destroying his opponents and leaving the ring without fanfare before the official decision is even read. Brendan, on the other hand, takes a great deal of punishment before staging his comeback. O'Connor makes sure no stone is unturned when it comes to milking every conceivable emotion. At an almost inexcusable two hours and twenty minutes, he gets plenty of opportunity to do so.

Warrior mainly succeeds because of its talented ensemble. Don't expect minimalistic performances here, this is acting that draws attention to itself. However, it works hand in hand with the tone O'Connor goes for, that of a testosterone fueled weepie. It's hard to imagine that the two working class boys at the center of the film are played by an Aussie and a Brit. Edgerton does a solid job, but he's outshined by the showier performances by Nick Nolte and Tom Hardy. Nolte is perfectly cast as the world weary burnout with an unshakeable sadness about him. Hardy has risen to a whole new level as an actor following brilliant turns in Nicholas Winding Refn's Bronson and Christopher Nolan's Inception. Here, Hardy plays a brooding time bomb of seething frustration and hostility. His portrayal of Tommy is reminiscent of a young Marlon Brando and his iconic role in On the Waterfront.

The obligatory montage training sequences are present in Warrior though they are sadly not set to 1980's power ballads.

Warrior drifts too frequently into schmaltzy territory and is about twenty minutes too long. Still, it is an effective melodrama for men. This is one of those movies where it's okay for a guy to cry.

Rating: *** (*****)

Meet Monica Velour

2011-09-24T21:15:00.000-07:00

Meet Monica Velour - Dir. Keith Bearden (2011)

"You screw a few hundred guys and the whole world turns against you."

Marilyn Chambers, Ginger Lynn, Christy Canyon, and Nina Hartley. These are some of the biggest starlets in the history of porn. A few of the well-known performers of the golden age of porn have tried to transition into mainstream film, but found the stigma of their previous occupations to be a tremendous hurdle. Other actresses have happily retired and some are still in the business. Others, like Bambi Woods the starlet of the infamous Debbie Does Dallas, seem to have vanished without at race.

Inspired by these tales, Keith Bearden, writing and directing his first feature film, presents Meet Monica Velour, a coming-of-age story about an awkward young man and a faded star.

Tobe (Dustin Ingram) lives with his grandfather (Brian Dennehy) in suburban Wisconsin and earns a living by working a hot dog truck called the Weenie Wiz. He has a fascination with things of a bygone age, preferring to listen to 1930's jazz and watching vintage porn from the early-80's. His favorite skin flicks feature a beautiful blonde named Monica Velour (Jamie Tisdale). Tobe has all her movies on VHS as well as an extensive collection of posters, photos, and clippings. He's just graduated from high school after four completely undistinguished years. Tobe's prospects are slim after being rejected from every college he applied to. Not wanting to sling hot dogs for the rest of his life, he decides to sell the food truck to an artist living in Indiana. By coincidence, Tobe learns that Monica Velour is making a rare appearance at a Podunk strip club called The Petting Zoo.

Faster than you can say "road trip," Tobe makes the long drive to the Hoosier State to meet his dream girl. What he finds instead is a downtrodden and middle-aged divorcee (Kim Cattrall) whose hollow-eyed routine is a sad sight. She lives in a rundown trailer park and is locked in a bitter custody battle for her daughter with her abrasive ex-husband (Sam McMurray). Monica allows Tobe to stay with her out of pity after he's beaten up by a group of frat boys while trying to defend her honor from their cruel taunts. Thus begins an unlikely friendship as Tobe takes it upon himself to save Monica Velour.

Images of Napoleon Dynamite will likely pop into your head due to the striking resemblance between Tobe and Jon Heder's most well-known character. Much like Napoleon Dynamite, Tobe is a lanky, nerdy looking teenager with thick glasses and curly hair. Unlike Napoleon, Tobe isn't a cartoonish caricature. At least there was an eccentric charm in the former character, Tobe is lacking in any distinct personality. He's also not a very likeable protagonist and his naiveté gets downright annoying very quickly. At least, Kim Cattrall gives a brave, if Oscar bait-y, performance as the over-the-hill adult entertainer. Cattrall put on an extra twenty pounds for the part and wore little to no make-up. It's certainly a far cry from her glamorous role as Samantha on Sex and the City. But, Cattrall hardly gets a chance to delve deeper into the character because of how thinly written she is.

Monica Velour isn't totally devoid of positive elements. The opening credits consisting of mock porno posters and video covers are cute. The film also features the great Keith David as Tobe's prospective buyer, an artist of kitschy Americana. His art studio littered with giant Pez dispensers and a statue of Bob's Big Boy. If it sounds like I'm stretching to find compliments, I am.

Meet Monica Velour is a mix of drama and comedy that's lacking in any drama or comedy. Too often Bearden goes for the cheap jokes. The pseudo-porno scenes are tired gags revolving around poor production values and bad acting. Lacking in originality or genuine emotion, this is a film that fakes its way to the money shot.

Rating: * (*****)

Our Idiot Brother

2011-09-23T08:00:00.000-07:00

Our Idiot Brother - Dir. Jesse Peretz (2011)

Before becoming an independent filmmaker, Jesse Peretz was a founder of the alternative rock band The Lemonheads, whose biggest hit was a cover of Simon & Garfunkel's iconic "Mrs. Robinson." Peretz eventually directed two low-budget feature films along with numerous commercials and music videos. He landed his biggest gig in the critically reviled comedy The Ex with Zach Braff and Jason Bateman. Peretz has bounced back from that particular flop with the winning Our Idiot Brother, a frothy comedy that was co-written by his sister Evgenia Peretz and her husband David Schisgall. Our Idiot Brother premiered at Sundance where it was picked up by the Weinstein Company and released into theaters with little fanfare.

Paul Rudd stars as the titular idiot brother, a permanently baked fellow by the name of Ned who goes to prison for selling marijuana to a police officer at a farmer's market. Not an undercover cop, but one in full uniform, who claimed to just be having a rough time. However, Ned is only an idiot in the Dostoyevskian sense. He's not the brightest bulb, but he does possess an unwavering innocence, love, and trust for all those around him.

When Ned is released several months later, he finds his girlfriend, Janet (Kathryn Hahn), has already shacked up with a new man, Billy (TJ Miller), who is even more scatterbrained than Ned. She boots him off their biodynamic farm and refuses to relinquish his beloved golden retriever Willie Nelson. With nowhere else to go, Ned is shuffled between the homes of his three sisters. Liz (Emily Mortimer) is the oldest and married to a douchebag documentarian (Steve Coogan). Both are uptight yuppies who have rigidly planned their son's life in order to get him into a posh private school. Miranda (Elizabeth Banks) is a workaholic magazine writer desperately trying to score an elusive interview with an heiress turned tabloid fodder. The youngest sister is Natalie (Zooey Deschanel), a bohemian hipster in a lesbian relationship with Cindy (Rashida Jones), a lawyer. The Sapphic couple lives in an odd communal loft with other artsy fartsy types. Ned's freewheeling and unfiltered lifestyle winds up turning his sisters' lives upside down

Our Idiot Brother is a welcome change of pace from a summer filled with raunchy R-rated comedies. The film can't be considered a masterpiece and the plot is predictable with an unsurprising and schmaltzy ending. Of course, the sisters will eventually forgive their brother and realize the problem was with them, not him. Still, the journey is riddled with amusing moments and great performances from the all-star cast.

Paul Rudd ably carries the picture on his shoulders as a low-rent Lebowski. His Ned is charming enough to easily win the audience over. The actresses portraying his sisters all take to their roles even if they aren't required to do any heavy lifting. Mortimer, Banks, and (in particular) Deschanel are cast as characters similar to ones they've played in the past. Rashida Jones doesn't get nearly enough screen time. She looks stunning even when wardrobe is trying to butch her up with thick-rimmed glasses, a dress shirt and tie, and jean shorts. And for all you horndogs, yes, Rashida Jones and Zooey Deschanel do make out. Rudd has good chemistry with each actress, but his best scenes are the ones he shares with TJ Miller and Adam Scott, who co-stars as a neighbor and potential love interest to Miranda. Rudd and Miller seem to be in a stiff competition to see who can play the more brain-addled stoner. Meanwhile, Rudd and Scott bond over women troubles and a shared love of Dune ("Father…the sleeper has awakened.")

Our Idiot Brother is a lightweight film that's as breezy and easygoing as its lead protagonist. It isn't a memorable comedy, but it is a solid one with a terrific cast.

Rating: *** (*****)

Drive

2011-09-22T14:00:00.000-07:00

Drive - Dir. Nicholas Winding Refn (2011)

When Drive was screened at the Cannes Film Festival this past May, it received a standing ovation and Nicholas Winding Refn won the award for Best Director. The critical buzz was building in anticipation of the film's wide release. Does Drive live up to the hype? In the opinion of this humble cinephile, I answer with a resounding, "Yes."

Ryan Gosling stars as the protagonist who known only in the credits as Driver. By day, he works part-time as a stunt driver for movie shoots. At night, he's a wheelman for heists with a preternatural ability while in the driver's seat. He also works at a garage owned by his only friend Shannon (Bryan Cranston), who provides him with the vehicles he needs. He wants to provide one more in a stock car to start the Driver off on a professional racing career. In order to do so, Shannon borrows money from Nino (Ron Perlman) and Bernie Rose (Albert Brooks), a pair of Jewish mobsters who operate out of a strip mall pizzeria.

The normally aloof Driver finds himself bonding with his neighbor Irene (Carey Mulligan) and her young son Benicio (Kaden Leos). The future looks bright until Irene's husband, Standard (Oscar Isaac), is released from prison. With his family threatened, Standard is forced into pulling a robbery in order to repay a gangster known as Cook (James Biberi) for protecting him while behind bars. Driver agrees to help in order to save Irene and Benicio. The job naturally goes south leading Driver down a road paved by blood and bodies.

Drive is obvious in its influences. Chief among them is Walter Hill's The Driver, which also featured an unnamed getaway man played by Ryan O'Neal. Both movies are also descendents of the existential crime films of Jean-Pierre Melville with their taciturn lead characters searching for a purpose in their empty lives. Gosling's Driver finds the purpose he desperately needed with Irene and Benicio. The choice to leave the character unnamed wasn't made just to evoke the similarly unnamed stranger from the Westerns of Sergio Leone and Clint Eastwood, but to establish his anonymity. As a stunt man, Driver will never be the hero of that movie. He can only pretend to be the hero, donning a grotesque mask to do so. As the protector of his broken family, Driver can finally be the hero of his own story. The Driver moniker also highlights just how much his identity is tied into the car. There's a Zen quality to the way in which Driver connects with his automobiles, preferring a spartan existence on the road. Would that he could live his life forever behind a steering wheel.

Thematically, Drive owes much to the films of the 70's, but the look and feel is pure retro-80's right down to the neon pink cursive font used for the titles. The soundtrack is comprised of synthpop and an electronic score by Cliff Martinez that is meant to evoke 80's staples like Vangelis and Tangerine Dream. Cinematographer Newton Thomas Sigel (who has shot all of Bryan Singer's films) captures Los Angeles with the same beauty and gritty atmosphere of pictures like William Friedkin's To Live and Die in L.A. and Michael Mann's Thief. Sigel alternates from gorgeous aerial shots of the city at night to roaring intimately through the side streets inside the Driver's muscle cars. This is a film that was meant to be seen on the big screen.

Even the chaste love story of the Driver and Irene borrows heavily from the 80's oeuvre of John Hughes. Both Gosling and Refn have described "Drive" as a violent version of Pretty in Pink or Sixteen Candles. The Driver himself looks like he stepped right out of a time warp from twenty years ago. His favored wardrobe consists of a puffy satin jacket, leather driving gloves, and a toothpick in the corner of his mouth. It's obvious he's trying to emulate the coolness of the screen idols he admired as a youth.

Gosling gives a remarkable performance as the taciturn Driver. Over the last few years, Gosling has launched himself onto another level beyond just "that guy from The Notebook." He's taken on memorable roles in heavy indie dramas like Half-Nelson and Blue Valentine along with showing a natural talent for comedy, both broad (Crazy Stupid Love) and quirky (Lars and the Real Girl). In Drive, Gosling proves himself to be a believable action star. Given a minimal amount of dialogue, Gosling speaks volumes through simple facial expressions. The squeaking of his leather gloves as he tightens his fist says more than any florid soliloquy. While Driver's relationship with Irene is an important one, it is the burgeoning bond between him and Benicio that is pivotal to the narrative. Gosling conveys this perfectly in a scene where the two engage in a staring contest. A slight smile breaks across Driver's face to show how this boy has broken through the man's detached exterior. Yet, this stoic demeanor belies a shocking capacity for violence. He strikes with the suddenness of the scorpion emblazoned on the back of his jacket.

Those familiar some of Refn's previous pictures like Bronson and Valhalla Rising will know that the director has a predilection for stylish violence. That trait is present in Drive as quiet moments give way to explosive acts of brutality. A tender kiss in slow motion between Driver and Irene leads right into a gruesome sequence in which he practically obliterates an assailant's skull by reigning down one merciless stomp after another. Refn never tries to outdo the classic car chases of Bullitt or The French Connection. His set pieces aren't as elaborate, but they are sleek and clever. In the gripping opening of the film, Driver evades the cops through guile rather than sheer horsepower. He parks the car by the curb and switches off the lights. Seconds later, he nonchalantly follows behind a police car obliviously waving its searchlight in every other direction.

Drive is Gosling's show all the way though he is backed up by a tremendous supporting cast. Bryan Cranston is excellent as is the lovely Christina Hendricks, even if her appearance amounts to all of five minutes. As a 21st century Audrey Hepburn, Mulligan has the innocent look and sweet nature to breathe life into a character that is thinly defined on the page. It's easy to see why the stone cold Driver would fall for her. To no surprise, Ron Perlman makes for an effective villain, but it is Albert Brooks who is cast against type as a menacing mobster. He possesses a genial nature that conceals a frightening propensity for violence. Much like the Driver, he strikes quickly and suddenly.

It is not often you will find an action movie that could be considered an exquisite work of art. Then again, movies like Drive aren't often made. Don't expect Drive to be another The Fast and the Furious or The Transporter, it is a more cerebral and visceral experience. This is arthouse action at its finest, a modern day film noir of vehicular masculinity.

Rating: **** (*****)

Bodyguards and Assassins

2011-09-17T18:30:00.000-07:00

Bodyguards and Assassins - Dir. Teddy Chan (2009)

Don't be fooled by the title. Bodyguards and Assassins isn't some genre-bending mash-up like Cowboys & Aliens. This big-budget Chinese production mixes hard-hitting action, political intrigue, and historical context with an all-star ensemble to craft a memorable martial arts epic. It wasn't easy though. Director Teddy Chan (The Accidental Spy) and producer Peter Chan (The Eye), no relation, have been trying to make this film for over a decade. Originally titled, Dark October, Bodyguards and Assassins was plagued by numerous delays from the SARS epidemic, government censorship, and the suicide of an investor a day before filming was scheduled to commence.

Bodyguards and Assassins is set in 1905 against the backdrop of the coming revolution against the Qin Dynasty. Revolutionist Dr. Sun Yat-Sen is planning a trip to Hong Kong to meet with other movement leaders to overthrow the corrupt government. Armed with this knowledge, the Empress Dowager has dispatched an army of assassins under the command of General Yan Xiaoguo (Hu Jun). The only one who can protect Dr. Sun is Li Yutang (Wang Xueqi), a wealthy businessman trying to straddle the fence on both sides. Li finances an anti-government newspaper run by his friend Chen Shaobai (Tony Leung Ka-Fai), but doesn't want to get personally involved in the revolution. He is also adamantly opposed to his son, Chongguang (Wang Po-Chieh), participating in any shape or form.

Fang Tian (Simon Yam), a former military officer for the empire has arrived in Hong Kong, accompanied by his men, who are disguised as a Peking opera troupe. But, Gen. Yan intercepts them and their brutal murder inspires Li to put together his own band of highly skilled warriors to safeguard Dr. Sun. First among them is A-Si (Nicholas Tse), Li's long-time rickshaw driver. What A-Si lacks in fighting skills, he more than makes up for in unwavering loyalty. Li also recruits a gigantic Shaolin monk nicknamed Stinky Tofu (former NBA star Mengke Bateer), who left the monastery to sell stinky tofu on the streets. Next is Liu Yubai (Leon Lai), a once mighty martial arts master who has become a scraggily beggar over the love of a woman (Michelle Reis). Also joining them is Fang Hong (Li Yuchun), Fang Tian's daughter, who has vowed revenge against her father's killers. Completing the group is Shen Chongyang (Donnie Yen), a corrupt police officer with a gambling addiction and a willingness to do any dirty deed for the right price. Shen's former love, Yue-ru (Fan Bingbing), is now married to Li. Initially hired to spy against the seditionists, Shen is convinced by her to protect Li instead.

Bodyguards and Assassins sports an expansive cast and a myriad of subplots. It can be a bit hard to follow, especially for those forced to rely on subtitles. The film takes its time to develop these characters. In fact, the entire first half of the movie is devoted to introducing the main players and moving them across the cinematic chess board. The pace is slow and the dialogue is packed with filibustering about sacrifice and ideals. Thankfully, these moments are saved by the strong performances of the main cast. While Donnie Yen is given the lion's share of the publicity, he only plays a supporting role. The true hero is Li Yutang. Wang Xueqi, whose long career includes Warriors of Heaven and Earth and Chen Kaige's Yellow Earth, brings a serious gravitas to the role and serves as the anchor of the story. In a clever move, the opening prologue features Jacky Cheung as a teacher and revolutionary who is assassinated by General Yan. Cheung is a renowned actor and pop star in Asia and his death lets the audience know that no one is safe, despite their star status.

The second half of the movie is devoted entirely to the arrival of Sun Yat-Sen in a convoy of rickshaws, which are flanked by Secret Service-esque bodyguards. Their objective is to escort him from the harbor to a safe house with assassins attacking from nearly every alleyway and rooftop. This extended chase sequence is reminiscent of The Gauntlet or 16 Blocks. Various fighting styles are highlighted with the best fight scene belonging to Donnie Yen and MMA competitor Cung Le.

The production designers have also done a fantastic job in recreating the Hong Kong of 1905. Bodyguards and Assassins looks and feels genuine, rather than world created entirely on a studio set.

Bodyguards and Assassins was originally released in Asia in December of 2009. It received eighteen nominations at the Hong Kong Film Awards winning in the categories for Best Picture, Best Director, and Best Action Choreography among others. It's not as stellar a martial arts film as Ip Man, but it's a solid actioner.

Rating: ** ½ (*****)

True Legend

2011-09-16T08:00:00.000-07:00

True Legend - Dir. Yuen Woo-ping (2010)

Western audiences may be familiar with the work of Yuen Woo-ping through his fight choreography in movies like The Matrix, Kill Bill, and The Forbidden Kingdom. Ping has had a long career in Hong Kong as a director and actor, but hasn't helmed a feature film since 1996's Tai Chi Chun. He returns to the director's chair with the big-budget spectacle, True Legend.

Su Can (Vincent Zhao) is a highly respected general in the Imperial Army and has just rescued a provincial prince from a band of mountain marauders. As thanks, the prince promises Su Can a position as governor, which he declines. Su Can recommends his adopted brother, Yuan Lie (Andy On), who reluctantly accepts in an effort to step out from under his shadow. Su Can retires from the military and returns home to raise a family with his wife, Ying (Zhou Xun), who is also Yuan's younger sister.

As it turns out, Su's father, Su Wan-kun (Bryan Leung), was forced to kill Yuan's father after the latter went on a murderous rampage after mastering the deadly Five Venom Fists. Five years pass and Su Can's happy life is shattered when Yuan arrives hell bent on revenge. Yuan has sewn body armor to his flesh and perfected the Five Venom Fists, a style that poisons the bloodstream of your opponent. Yuan kills Su Wan-kung, severely beats Su Can, and throws him down a waterfall. Ying dives in after her husband and both appear to be lost. A disturbed Yuan takes Su's son Feng as his own.

Ying and Su Can have survived and make their way to the mountains where they are rescued by Sister Yu (Michelle Yeoh), whose knowledge of herbs cures Su Can of the poison in his body. Spurred out of depression by his wife, Su Can renews his training of wu shu in order to rescue his son. Along the way he counters a mysterious Old Sage (Gordon Liu) and the mystical God of Wu Shu (Jay Chou), but are they real or a hallucination?

True Legend featured two fight scenes post-converted to 3D when it was initially released in China. Most theaters chose to screen the 2D version. Either way, the film was considered a box office flop, pulling in under $7 million (American) on a budget of $20 million. Part of this was likely due to the scattershot script by Christine To (Fearless). The movie skims over the relationship between the adopted brothers. We never get a sense of what their lives were like growing up together. Thus, when Yuan gives in to the dark side there is absolutely no emotional resonance. True Legend abruptly grinds to a halt during the monotonous second act in which Su Can rehabilitates. After the saggy middle section, you'd think the climatic showdown would bring the movie to its logical conclusion. Instead, the third act revolves around a disheveled Su Can living as a beggar until he is forced into battle against a team of foreign fighters (including former wrestlers Sylvester Terkay, Jon Heidenreich & Luther Reigns) managed by the late-David Carradine. This is the usual heroic Chinese master defying all odds to defeat the white devils story. The ending feels like a rushed sequel as if Yuen Woo-ping decided to amalgamate two different movies into one.

True Legend also utilizes a lot more computer generated effects than the typical Chinese production. It's a shame though as the green screen work is subpar and almost laughable. Much of the actual locations and sets used in the picture are far more convincing. One fight sequence finds the combatants precariously facing off above roaring rapids. Despite wires and safety harnesses, there was still a danger of someone falling in and being swept away. Yuen Woo-ping's flair for creative fight scenes is on full display here as well as in another set piece where Su Can and Yuan claw at each other down a deep well. The clash between Su Can and the foreigners is also thrilling as Yuen Woo-ping blended drunken boxing with modern break dancing moves.

For the most part, the acting is fine though slightly over-the-top. Michelle Yeoh makes a brief appearance and it almost seems like a waste not to have her involved in any of the action. Long time martial arts fans will be pleased to see Gordon Liu (36th Chamber of Shaolin) as the wise Old Sage, a role similar to the one he took on as Pei Mei in Kill Bill. Unfortunately, he too is only in a handful of scenes while the miscast Jay Chou (The Green Hornet) gets a lion's share of the scenes in the second act.

Trivia Note: This isn't the first time Yuen Woo-ping has dealt with the character of Su Can aka Beggar So. Donnie Yen played the folk hero in Yuen's Heroes Among Heroes. Yuen's father, Yuen Siu-tien, played the role in three films: Dance of the Drunk Mantis, Story of Drunken Master, and Drunken Master3 with Jackie Chan.

The disjointed story bothered critics more than it did me. The main criticisms I had with True Legend are the derivative plot, bland characters, and overly melodramatic tone. Despite these quibbles, True Legend features plenty of stylish and exciting fight scenes that have become trademarks of Yuen Woo-ping. It doesn't match up to some of his best works like Tai Chi Master or Iron Monkey, but it's worth a rent for the kung fu aficionado.

Rating: ** (*****)

Attack the Block

2011-09-11T00:38:00.000-07:00

Attack the Block - Dir. Joe Cornish (2011)

"I got one text left. This is too much madness to explain in one text."

Alien invasion movies have been all the rage this year. We've seen Battle: Los Angeles, Super 8, and Cowboys & Aliens. Not to mention Summit Entertainment's upcoming The Darkest Hour. While it doesn't have the heart of Super 8, Attack the Block stands head and shoulders above all the rest. Shot with a budget of $13 million, Attack the Block was produced by Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead) and marks the directorial debut of Joe Cornish, Wright's co-writer on Scott Pilgrim vs. The World and The Adventures of Tintin. Cornish's picture has the feel of a cult classic 80's movie. Think Night of the Creeps if it were directed by John Carpenter.

Attack the Block begins on Guy Fawkes Night as fireworks explode across the sky over South London. The film takes place in the Clayton council estates. An estate, by the way, is the nice British name for the projects. Sam (Jodie Whittaker), a recently graduated nurse is walking home when she is mugged by a group of hoodie-wearing, knife-wielding teens led by Moses (John Boyega). Something crashes into a nearby car and Sam runs off. Moses tells his mates to, "Allow it," in order to check the automobile for something valuable to steal. A gruesome creature scratches his face and escapes into a nearby park. Moses chases it down and kills it. Feeling like a big man, he carries its carcass around like a trophy. The fast-talking Pest (Alex Esmail) believes it’s the start of an alien invasion. Sure enough, more of the creatures arrive, but these are three times bigger, covered in ink-black fur with luminescent fangs. The kids arm themselves with kitchen knives, baseball bats, and even a samurai sword to defend their block from the invaders. Much like his namesake, Moses must lead his comrades to salvation against a swarm of ravenous aliens that resemble the critters from, well, Critters on steroids.

Other main characters include: Ron (Nick Frost), a pot smoking slacker; Brewis (Luke Treadaway), a middle-class white boy who listens to rap; and violent drug dealer Hi-Hatz (Jumayn Hunter).

Cornish takes the bold route by introducing the protagonists as juvenile delinquents participating in a violent crime. These young characters are a throwback to a time when kids could curse and act in a politically incorrect manner. Though thinly drawn, the heroes of Attack the Block are funny and charming with as a band of hooligan Goonies. Cornish cast first-time actors for these roles and each one excels in their parts with John Boyega as the anchor. Boyega has the presence needed to serve as the leading man. With the scars across his face, he even resembles a young Mike Tyson. Not surprising that Boyega has been cast in an HBO pilot being produced by Tyson and Spike Lee.

At 88 minutes, Attack the Block moves at a brisk pace thanks to the efficiency of the screenplay. Cornish wastes little time introducing the characters and moving the plot forward and it's refreshing in the face of bloated blockbusters like Transformers: Dark of the Moon. Cornish does have room to grow as a director. One of the movie's biggest faults is the staging of the chase scenes. The geography of the estate is never fully fleshed out so it's difficult to tell where everyone is running to or from. The film could have also used subtitles as the thick South London accents are almost indiscernible.

Attack the Block is the working class alien invasion movie with the same skillful blend of action, comedy, and horror as Shaun of the Dead.

Rating: *** (*****)

Miral

2011-09-10T16:30:00.000-07:00

Miral - Dir. Julian Schnabel (2011)

Miral courted controversy before it was even released. A Jewish filmmaker telling a story of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict from the Palestinian point of view was bound to be a hot button topic. The film faced protests from Jewish groups during its world premiere at the United Nations' General Assembly Hall. Director Julian Schnabel sent the script to the Israeli Defense Force in order to gain permission to use certain locations. Their response was that helping Schnabel make Miral would be the equivalent of helping Hitler make a movie out of Mein Kampf.

Schnabel began his career as a painter in the New York art scene before making his directorial debut with 1996's Basquiat, based on the life of one of Schnabel's contemporaries, the graffiti artist Jean-Michel Basquiat. Schnabel's last film was 2007's The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, a masterful and poetic picture based on the memoirs of Jean-Dominique Bauby, a journalist who becomes paralyzed and only able to communicate with his left eye. It is a disappointment that Schnabel's follow-up is such a muddled and didactic affair.

Miral is adapted from the semi-autobiographical novel by Rula Jebreal, a journalist of Italian and Palestinian descent who was also Schnabel's girlfriend at the time. The film opens in 1948 in Jerusalem with the founding of the Dar El Tifl orphanage by Hind Husseini (Hiam Abbass), who opened a shelter for children orphaned by the conflict between Arab and Israeli forces. Husseini accepts donations from philanthropists, but none from any governments for fear of being beholden to them. From there, we meet Nadia (Yasmine Al Massri), a tortured woman who escaped from an abusive home at a young age and has tried to drown her sorrows with alcohol. She is thrown into prison after assaulting a woman on the bus. Her cellmate, Fatima (Ruba Blal) is a former nurse who was arrested for planting a bomb in a crowded theater. In a stylized sequence, Fatima slips the explosives under her seat as the audience remains riveted to a rape scene from Roman Polanski's Repulsion.

Nadia marries Fatima's brother, Jamal (Alexander Siddig), and the two have a daughter named Miral. However, Nadia still carries the emotional scars of a troubled childhood and when tragedy strikes Jamal enrolls a 7-year old Miral in Husseini's institution. Jumping ahead to 1988, a 17-year old Miral (Freida Pinto) is awakened to the violence in the West Bank. Husseini warns students to not get involved lest they endanger everyone at the orphanage. But, Miral falls for the charismatic Hani (Omar Metwally), an activist in the PLO with an eye for an eye mentality.

Schnabel manages to tell the story of Miral in such a disjointed fashion that it drains away any power it might have held. It appears he could not decide whether to tell an intimate character study or a sweeping historic tale. The title character doesn't even appear until 45 minutes into the film. Other characters are introduced and dropped without warning or context. Willem Dafoe appears briefly as an American military officer who fancies Husseini, but that subplot never goes anywhere. Vanessa Redgrave also makes a cameo appearance as wealthy humanitarian Bertha Spafford. Not surprising considering the controversy surrounding her acceptance speech at the 1978 Oscars.

Despite the fractured storytelling, Miral does feature a strong performance from Freida Pinto as the title character. Though of Indian descent, Pinto was picked for her acting chops and her resemblance to Jebreal. But, the best performance in the film belongs to Alexander Siddig, who is probably best known for playing Dr. Bashir on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. Siddig lends the movie a true sense of gravitas as Miral's father.

Miral had all the right ingredients to create a powerful film. It has a strong cast, a topical story, and a filmmaker with a unique vision. However, the pieces just don't fall into place resulting in a disjointed and dull experience.

Rating: ** (*****)

Colombiana

2011-09-04T16:45:00.001-07:00

Colombiana - Dir. Olivier Megaton (2011)

Luc Besson was the man behind two of the most critically acclaimed action movies in Leon (aka The Professional) and La Femme Nikita. In the last several years, Besson (as writer and producer) has been churning out a steady stream of Eurotrash action flicks such as The Transporter, Taken, and the parkour heavy District B13. Colombiana is the latest film to come off the Besson assembly line and feels like a greatest hits highlight reel. It borrows many elements from Besson's previous works. In fact, Colombiana evolved from story ideas from an unproduced sequel to Leon, entitled Mathilde, which would have starred a Natalie Portman's character.

The movie opens in Bogota of 1993 where a nine-year old Cateleya Restrepo (Amandla Stenberg) witnesses the murder of her parents by drug lord Don Luis (Beto Benites). Cateleya escapes by stabbing Luis's right-hand man, Marco (Jordi Molla), in the…well, right hand. What follows is a thrilling parkour sequence through the Columbian streets as Cateleya makes her way to the American embassy with a microchip of vital information. Did I mention that she swallowed the microchip and vomited it back up? Did I mention she's doing parkour at age 9? Did I mention this takes place several years before parkour was developed? Does it matter? This is the kind of movie Colombiana is.

Cateleya sneaks away from her handlers to Chicago to stay with her gangster uncle Emilio (Cliff Curtis). She demands to be trained as a killer in order to exact revenge against Don Luis. Uncle Emilio, being a responsible parent, tells her to get an education first and emphasizes his point by shooting up the neighborhood across the street from the school she's been enrolled. Then, they walk away without consequence. This is the kind of movie Colombiana is.

An adult Cateleya (Zoe Saldana) earns a living as a contract assassin and marks her victims with a drawing of the orchid she was named after. This is a clear message to Don Luis, who is laying low in New Orleans with the help of a corrupt CIA official (Callum Blue). In her free time, Cateleya tries to have some semblance of a normal life by making booty calls to a handsome and oblivious artist named Danny (a bland Michael Vartan). She also dances around her apartment in tank tops so tight you can clearly see her nipples jutting through. This is the kind of movie Colombiana is.

Colombiana was helmed by Olivier Megaton, whose bombastic pseudonym befits his equally bombastic directing style. The action isn't spectacular though it is perfectly suitable for loud, mindless summer fare. In addition to the opening parkour set piece, two of the other major sequences in the film are the climax in which Cateleya assaults the bad guy's villa with a rocket launcher. Blunt, but effective just like this movie. There's another scene where a SWAT Team raids her apartment and Cateleya evades capture. Horndogs will especially enjoy these moments as it involves Zoe Saldana padding around barefoot and in her underwear while gripping a sniper rifle that's half her size.

Saldana is really the best thing in the movie. She might not give a well-rounded performance, but she looks good kicking ass. Much like Milla Jovovich in Besson's The Fifth Element, Saldana displays a lithe agility when she's slinking around the air vents of a police station to execute a target in lockup. There's also a Jason Bourne-style fight scene where Saldana is armed with only a towel and a toothbrush.

The script, written by Besson and Robert Mark Kamen (The Karate Kid), lacks the high stakes and immediacy that they imbued in Taken. Liam Neeson drove the plot by actively hunting down his enemies until his daughter was found. The heroine in Colombiana is too passive, content to wait for the bad guys to make their move. Also missing is a memorable villain ala Gary Oldman in The Professional.

The cast also includes Lennie James from Snatch as the obligatory, by-the-books FBI agent trying to hunt down our sexy hitwoman. In one scene, he empathically declares the killer isn't a woman. It's not possible. What a chauvinist.

So, what kind of movie is Colombiana? It's a D.A.M., a dumb action movie. One filled with explosions, stabbings, and even guys getting eaten by sharks and dogs. Sounds like a good wholesome time, right? Colombiana will satisfy your fetish for girls with guns.

Rating: ** (*****)

Fright Night

2011-09-03T23:30:00.000-07:00

Fright Night - Dir. Craig Gillespie (2011)

"Hey, guy. You've been watching me. I've been watching you. Your mom, there's a kind of neglect. Gives off a scent. And your girl? She is ripe. It's on you to look out for them because there are a lot of bad people out there…"

The strip mining of 80's culture continues with this remake of the 1985 cult classic directed by Tom Holland (Child's Play). The original Fright Night was never one of my fondly remembered 80's vampire movies. I always preferred The Lost Boys, The Hunger, and Near Dark. Still, it had some charm, particularly a fantastic performance from Roddy McDowall as horror television host Peter Vincent. McDowall's character was a throwback to the protagonists of the classic Hammer horror films. The name itself was an homage to Peter Cushing and Vincent Price. The remake of Fright Night is one of those rare do-over's that actually improves on the original by quickening the pace and steeping it into modern pop culture.

twists its predecessor's suburban setting by taking place in an artificial oasis just outside of Las Vegas. This is a prefabricated neighborhood of innocuous tract homes with "For Sale" signs littering the front lawns and the neon lights of Sin City illuminating the horizon. High schooler Charley Brewster (Anton Yelchin) lives here with his mom, Jane (Toni Collette), a real estate agent trying to sell these houses. Charley is one of the most popular kids in school with a beautiful girlfriend in Amy (Imogen Poots). But, it wasn't always this way for Charley. He was once a nerd who engaged in goofy LARPing in his back yard with former best friend Ed (Christopher Mintz-Plasse), who was cast aside for the sake of Charley's popularity.

Charley reluctantly meets with his ex-BFF when several classmates mysterious disappear. Ed suspects Charley's new neighbor Jerry (Colin Farrell) is a vampire. Charley is naturally disbelieving until Ed vanishes as well.

The hip nature and clever dialogue of Fright Night owes a lot to the screenplay by Marti Noxon, one of the chief architects of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Noxon is no stranger to writing believable teenagers (I Am Number Four, notwithstanding) and scary bloodsuckers with a mix of horror and comedy. The story plays with the perception of vampires in a post-Twilight world as well as all the usual tropes of the mythology. Let the Right One In answered the question of what happens to a vampire when they come in without an invitation. Fright Night answers the question of does a vampire need an invitation if the house has been abandoned due to a collapsing market. There is an unexpected poignancy to the movie with Noxon touching upon themes of teen angst with vampirism serving as an allegory for the predatory nature of high school and status supremacy. Charley isn't all that nice of a kid for having so cruelly shunned Ed in favor of the jerks who would have mocked him not long ago. Jerry too is attempting to build his own social circle by using some of his victims to repopulate his species.

Jerry as played by Chris Sarandon (who does the obligatory cameo) was more in line with the classical, seductive vampire. Colin Farrell's version exudes in alpha male arrogance. He's Dracula in a tight t-shirt and denim jeans. It's a role that Farrell is clearly relishing and it's one of his most fun performances to date. Not as nuanced as In Bruges, but not as cartoonish as Horrible Bosses or Daredevil. In the original film, it never made sense for Jerry not to kill Charley outright. Here, it's a case of Jerry toyed with his food before the big bite. He's centuries old with an unfathomable body count. What does he have to fear from a boy? This is exemplified in a suspenseful sequence in which Charley breaks into Jerry's home (with the help of a handy lock picking app) in order to free a hot blonde neighbor. It is clear Jerry knows they are there, despite their feeble attempts to skulk about unnoticed. The finish to the scene is a real kick to the balls.

Director Craig Gillespie earned strong critical notice for the indie comedy Lars and the Real Girl, but he shows a true flair for stylish action in Fright Night. In addition to the break-in sequence, there's a thrilling set piece that begins with Jerry ripping up the Brewsters' gas line and igniting their abode ("Don't need an invitation if there's no house."). This kicks off an exciting chase scene done as a continuous tracking shot with Jerry hurling a dirt bike at Jane's SUV and trying to carve his way in with his "fucked up vampire hand." The only detraction to these parts is the obvious CGI. Aside from these scenes, the special effects are strong, but the 3D version should be avoided as it dims the already dark night scenes.

One of the major changes in the remake is the envisioning of Peter Vincent as a larger-than-life stage magician. Vincent is portrayed wonderfully by former Doctor Who, David Tennant, who plays him as Criss Angel by way of Russell Brand.

Fright Night may have been dumped into theaters during the doldrums of August, but it's the kind of thrill ride that should have been released on Halloween. No sparkly bullshit here, Fright Night takes the vampire back to his spooky, bloodthirsty roots.

Rating: *** (*****)

Jane Eyre

2011-08-31T12:00:00.000-07:00

Jane Eyre - Dir. Cary Fukunaga (2011)

Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre is an indelible work of literature. As such, it has seen dozens of cinematic adaptations including a silent film version in 1915 and a 1996 version directed by Franco Zeffirelli and starring Charlotte Gainsbourg and William Hurt. Perhaps, the most famous take is the 1944 version starring Joan Fontaine and Orson Welles and based on a script adapted by John Houseman and Aldous Huxley. Director Cary Fukunaga and screenwriter Moira Buffini (Tamara Drewe) have the unenviable task of breathing new life into a story that has been oft-told in film, television, and on stage.

Bronte incorporated many elements from her own life and beliefs in the original novel (published in 1847) with the title character serving as a sort-of analogue for the author. By all accounts, Bronte was a forward thinking woman, which informed Jane Eyre's views on the ultra-religious and patriarchal society she inhabited. Much like Jane Eyre, Bronte was also sent to a boarding school along with her sisters, including Emily, author of Wuthering Heights. The poor conditions of the school led to the deaths of her eldest sisters Maria and Elizabeth due to tuberculosis.

At a young age Jane Eyre (played as a child by Amelia Clarkson) lost both her parents and was sent to live with her Uncle Reed and his family. When he dies, she is left in the care of her cruel Aunt Sarah (Sally Hawkins), who ships Jane off to the Lowood Institution, a Dickensian nightmare of fear and abuse. The headmaster, Mr. Brocklehurst (Simon McBurney), has already branded Jane as deceitful and encourages all others to shun her. The one friend Jane does make dies due to the negligence of the staff.

Jane leaves Lowood as an adult (Mia Wasikowska) to accept a position as governess at the reclusive Thornfield Hall. She is taken in by the kindly housekeeper, Mrs. Fairfax (Judi Dench), but finds the lord of the house, Mr. Rochester (Michael Fassbender), is less than welcoming. Rochester spends little time at the estate and his first encounter with Jane could hardly be considered a meet cute after he is thrown from his horse. He even accuses Jane of bewitching his steed. This is exemplary of the brusque manner in which Rochester treats everyone around him. Yet, he is the first real man Jane has ever met and there is an undeniable attraction. Girls love the bad boys.

As their relationship grows, Rochester discovers Jane is an intelligent, young woman who isn't afraid to speak her mind or stand up to him. He finds her a refreshing change of pace from the cowering servants and the sycophantic bluebloods he usually converses with on a daily basis. But, Thornfield is a sinister place and she and her master hold their own dark secrets.

Fukunaga may seem like an odd choice to direct a 19th century romantic drama having made his feature film debut with Sin Nombre, a thriller about gangbangers and South American immigrants making their way to America. Yet, he and Buffini have found a fresh approach to the source material by focusing on the love story between Jane and Rochester instead of attempting an all-encompassing adaptation. The film begins in media res with the rain-soaked heroine collapsing on the doorstep of the pious St. John Rivers (Jamie Bell). From there, Jane's tale of woe unfolds through a series of flashbacks. Still, it feels as if more screen time could have been devoted to their relationship and that the resolution came too quickly. At just under two hours, Jane Eyre (not counting end credits) is one of those rare instances where an extra fifteen or twenty minutes could have been an improvement to the overall narrative.

Despite a rushed conclusion, Jane Eyre is buoyed by a pair of powerhouse performances by its lead. Mia Wasikowska had already played a similar, eponymous role in Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland. While Jane Eyre provided a less colorful and fantastical world, Wasikowska displayed the same aura of strength and determination. On the page, Eyre was described as a plain looking girl and Fukunaga can't hide Wasikowska's natural beauty despite tying her hair back in a severe bun and hiding her face inside a bonnet. On film, Wasikowska's expressive eyes and pale, white skin make her look like a porcelain doll come to life, which adds to the fragility of her character. Her leading man is no slouch either. Michael Fassbender has risen in stature after strong performances in indie films like Hunger and Fish Tank. He's come to the attention of Hollywood for his roles in Inglourious Basterds and most recently as Magneto, another tortured soul in X-Men: First Class. Fassbender definitely gets his chance to play tortured again as the conflicted Rochester, running hot and cold at a moment's notice. The supporting cast is also good, including Simon McBurney, who seems to be giving Timothy Spall a run for his money as the go-to British character actor for malevolent antagonists. There's also the always dependable Judi Dench and Sally Hawkins, who does a complete 180 from the cheerful Poppy in Mike Leigh's Happy-Go-Lucky.

The actors' work is accentuated by the atmospheric direction of Fukunaga and the cinematography of Adriano Goldman. Using only natural lighting, Goldman crafts a picturesque view of the English countryside, but the movie truly shines at night with only moonlight wafting through the curtains and the flickering of a candle to light the scene. The moody lighting does wonders to highlight the eeriness of Thornfield. You can almost feel the chilling winds hitting your body. It's no wonder so many died of a young age by tuberculosis, typhus, or pneumonia.

Ardent fans of the original novel may find that this latest adaptation is missing too much of the source material. However, Fukunaga's film is hardly a Cliff Notes version of Charlotte Bronte's classic. While it would have benefited from a longer runtime, Jane Eyre is a compelling take on the Gothic love story anchored by two amazing performances from Mia Wasikowska and Michael Fassbender.

Rating: *** (*****)

Conan the Barbarian

2011-08-30T14:00:00.000-07:00

Conan the Barbarian - Dir. Marcus Nispel (2011)

The life story of author Robert E. Howard could probably make for a compelling film. He practiced boxing and bodybuilding as a boy and this physicality would inform his later writing. Howard's mother, Hester, contracted tuberculosis from caring for ill relatives before she ever met his father, Isaac, meaning she was dying throughout his entire life. When Hester fell into an unrecoverable coma, Howard (aged 30) shot himself in the head. Many have speculated about his mental state, but what was undeniable was his body of work. Howard wrote numerous short stories for the Depression-era pulp magazine, Weird Tales, which also published the writings by H.P. Lovecraft and Clark Ashton Smith. Howard created characters like Bran Mak Morn, Solomon Kane, and his most renowned creation Conan the Barbarian, which ushered in the genre of sword and sorcery.

Conan was first brought to the silver screen in 1983 with a feature film directed by John Milius, who co-wrote the script with Oliver Stone. It managed to skyrocket the movie career of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Nowadays, it's known more as a cult classic of 80's action cheese rather than a faithful adaptation of Howard's stories. It spawned a sequel in Conan the Destroyer and a spinoff, Red Sonja, a character originally created in the Marvel Comics series by Roy Thomas and Barry Windsor-Smith, who based her on a pastiche of other Howard characters. A third Conan film was mired in development hell. One script based on the novel, Hour of the Dragon, was put into production until Arnold backed out. Kevin Sorbo replaced him, but refused to star in a role previously played by another actor. So the studio renamed it Kull the Conqueror to shoehorn in a previous barbarian character Howard had created.

Comparisons between that version and the all new Conan the Barbarian are inevitable. Enough time has passed from my last viewing of Arnold's Conan that it doesn't cloud my experience of the new one. I will say that Conan's new catchphrase, "I live, I love, I slay and I am content." doesn't hold a candle to…

"What is best in life?"
"To crush your enemies, see them driven before you and hear the lamentation of their women."

This new Conan gets off to a promising start with an expository narration by Morgan Freeman about the history of the mythical Hyborian Age, a time after the fall of Atlantis. It's all about the ancient Mask of Acheron, which could grant its wearer ultimate power. Next is an internal shot of a sword piercing a womb. We cut to a pregnant woman in full battle garb in the midst of a violent struggle. Her husband, Corin (Ron Perlman), comes to her aid. He performs an emergency C-section and pulls his newborn son from her belly. He says, "Name your son," and she answers, "His name is Conan!" Corin holds the baby, covered in viscera and after-birth, to the high heavens and lets out a hearty scream. Cue title logo.

A pre-teen Conan (Leo Howard) undergoes a brutal rite of passage as he slays several attackers in the snow-covered forests outside his village. He tosses their heads at the feet of his father as proof of his brave deed. Unfortunately, these happy days of decapitation end when the forces of Khalar Zym (Stephen Lang) invade in a quest to reassemble the pieces of the Mask. In an homage to Once Upon a Time in the West, young Conan and his Corin are placed into an unfortunate death trap involving molten steel that doesn't end well for daddy.

The adult Conan (Jason Momoa) returns to seek revenge against Khalar Zym and his half-witch daughter, Marique (Rose McGowan). Zym seeks to sacrifice a pure-blooded virgin in order to empower the mask and conquer the world.

It's odd that themes of filial vengeance played such a huge role in both Conan films, despite the fact these elements were not present in the source material. Conan the Barbarian is simply a victim of Hollywood's incessant need to origin stories for every character they get their hands on. His name is Conan the Barbarian. Is there anything more you need to know? Does the audience genuinely need to delve into his psychological make-up to truly understand a guy who just likes to kill and fuck?

The production budget was a whopping $90 million and while it looks better than the original, doesn't look at all like they spent $90 million. The special effects begin to fail in the second half of the film as if the filmmakers started running out of time and money. The worst sequence has to be a third act battle between Conan and a tentacled monster. The creature looks terribly fake and the picture is murky and nearly incomprehensible due to the haphazard 3D conversion. Faring better is a fight scene pitting Conan against ninjas made out of sand. The CGI looks good, but the action is poorly staged by director Marcus Nispel, who makes the common mistake of cutting in too close and too quickly. Nispel, who also directed the remakes of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Friday the 13th, is the primary reason why I had such low expectations going into Conan. He also directed 2007's Pathfinder, a brutally boring movie about Native Americans versus Viking invaders. It almost makes you wish Brett Ratner had stuck around. Almost.

The largely unknown Jason Momoa undoubtedly won fans over for his portrayal of Khal Drogo on HBO's Game of Thrones. He definitely has the charisma and the steely gaze to make a badass Conan. You just wish he had better material to work with. Stephen Lang gets another chance to play the snarling villain. Lang gets to chew up plenty of scenery as does Rose McGowan, who looks like she got make-up and wardrobe tips from her ex Marilyn Manson. Meanwhile, Rachel Nichols as the virgin Tamara doesn't get much to do other than look pretty. Also, it was unclear whether or not she needed to be a virgin for the blood sacrifice because Conan ruins that at the end of the second act. To no one's surprise, they engage in a softly lit love scene that looks like it was lifted from an early-90's skin flick that aired on late night Cinemax.

In between the flash forward, there is a brief mention of Conan's adventures as a mercenary, pirate, and thief. Any one of those stories would have been more interesting than this generic schlock. Conan the Barbarian should have been easy to pull off. Take some of the best elements from Howard's stories, combine with the visceral visuals of Frank Frazetta, and toss in plenty of blood and boobs. Instead, we get a boring series of clichés that is only Conan the Barbarian in name. Nispel's film has more in common with the litany of 80's knockoffs like The Beastmaster, Deathstalker, and Yor, the Hunter From the Future.

Crom, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. Grant me one request. That someone finally make a GOOD Conan movie. And if you do not listen, then the hell with you.

Rating: * (*****)

Cowboys & Aliens

2011-08-29T01:09:00.000-07:00

Cowboys & Aliens - Dir. Jon Favreau (2011)

Cowboys & Aliens has one of those high-concept titles that tells you exactly what you're going to get. Just like Snakes on a Plane had snakes on a plane, Cowboys & Aliens has cowboys and aliens. It should have been a cool mish-mash of Western and sci-fi genres, but, again, like Snakes on a Plane worked better as a joke on paper. Based loosely on a graphic novel published by Platinum Studios, Cowboys & Aliens had all the makings of a successful summer blockbuster. It had two renowned leading men together for the first time in Daniel Craig and Harrison (James Bond and Indiana Jones!). It had a talented director with a proven track record in Jon Favreau (Iron Man). Steven Spielberg, Ron Howard, and Brian Grazer were among the producers. Credited screenwriters included Roberto Orci & Alex Kurtzman (Transformers), Damon Lindelof (Lost), Mark Fergus & Hawk Ostby (also of Iron Man), and Steve Oedekerk (Kung Pow: Enter the Fist), who was attached to write and direct way back in 1997. Hmm…okay that last one was odd, but you can hardly hang the film's failures on a singular man.

Cowboys & Aliens opens with an unidentified man (Craig) awakening in the desert with no memory of who he is or where he came from. There's also a bizarre bracelet attached to his wrist. After killing a trio of assailants, he makes his way to the small town of Absolution where we learn he is a wanted outlaw named Jake Lonergan. The whole town lives in fear of local cattle baron, Col. Woodrow Dolarhyde (Ford), whose sniveling son, Percy (Paul Dano), has also arrived to drunkenly shoot up the place and bully the barkeep Doc (Sam Rockwell). When the Colonel learns Percy and Lonergan have been arrested, he rides into Absolution with the intent of taking them both. Just as the six-shooters are about to be drawn, mysterious lights flash in the sky. The aliens have arrived on crab-like vessels destroying everything below and snatching up innocent people left and right. Among those taken are Percy, Sheriff Taggart (Keith Carradine), and Doc's wife Maria (Ana de la Reguera). Lonergan discovers his bracelet is actually an advanced weapon capable of detecting the aliens and destroying their ships.

Lonergan and Dolarhyde reluctantly form a posse to rescue their people and stave off the alien invasion. Among their group include Doc, Dolarhyde's Native American servant Nat Colorado (Adam Beach, the Sheriff's grandson Emmett (Noah Ringer), the gruff reverend Meacham (Clancy Brown), and a mysterious woman named Ella (Olivia Wilde). Eventually they are all forced to team up with a tribe of Apaches and a band of ruthless outlaws in a final showdown with the extraterrestrials.

The film starts with a strong first act mimicking all the standard tropes of the Western with the taciturn hero and Mexican standoffs. Favreau does his best to ground the story in some semblance of reality even after the outlandish introduction of space invaders. Then, things start going off the rails. The momentum built up at the beginning drops into a second act lull as the plot takes its time to develop its thinly drawn characters. The narrative is clumsily dotted with flashback sequences of Lonergan's fuzzy past. Ford is initially cast against type as a gruff and slightly racist antagonist, but he's Harrison Ford and can't stay that way the whole movie. He's significantly softened with two cheesy subplots of Dolarhyde acting as a surrogate father to Nat and Emmett. The movie also gets taken down a notch with the early loss of Paul Dano, who served as an excellent whipping boy to Craig's Lonergan. Despite her insane gorgeousness, Olivia Wilde appears only as a functionary character to deliver helpful exposition and act as a deus ex machine to defeat the aliens. Also wasted are great character actors like Keith Carradine, Walt Goggins, and Clancy Brown.

Favreau is a solid director with a knack for handling large ensembles, but he's not the flashiest when it comes to action. His finales (both Iron Man movies, for example) tend to build up strong and then fizzle out towards the end. Cowboys & Aliens suffers from an anti-climatic finish as the final battle between the humans and aliens becomes monotonous and easily forgettable.

While classic Westerns like The Searchers served as inspiration, Cowboys & Aliens (with its wooden dialogue and silly plot contrivances) recalls the B-movie productions of Roger Corman. There is an underlying irony beneath the pedestrian narrative about our nation's history of genocide and Manifest Destiny, but don't think for an instance this movie is an allegory for American imperialism. Cowboys & Aliens isn't a game changing genre bender. It is summer entertainment. Mindless escapism in its purest form.

Rating: ** (*****)

Meek's Cutoff

2011-08-28T16:32:00.000-07:00

Meek's Cutoff - Dir. Kelly Reichardt (2011)

Critics have jumped at the chance to label Meek's Cutoff as a "Revisionist Western" or a "Feminist Western." Some have even snidely referred to it as a big-screen version of the edutainment computer game, The Oregon Trail. I'll jump on the bandwagon and call it an 'Anti-Western' as director Kelly Reichardt has crafted a de-romanticized look at westward expansion and frontier folly. All of this is wrapped in timeless themes of xenophobia and national imperialism.

Based loosely on actual historical events, Meek's Cutoff follows a small group of settlers in 1845. They have broken away from a larger group to follow their guide, Stephen Meek (an unrecognizable Bruce Greenwood), across the Oregon High Desert along a supposed shortcut. What was supposed to be a two week journey has stretched to over a month as the pioneers' supplies dwindle. Among the group are: Emily Tetherow (Michelle Williams) and her older husband Soloman (Will Patton), the ultra-religious William & Glory White (Neal Huff & a squeaky voiced Shirley Henderson) and their son Jimmy (Tommy Nelson), and young couple Thomas & Millie Gately (Paul Dano & Zoe Kazan). Tensions mount as the wandering settlers try to decide whether Meek has intentionally led them astray or is he simply incompetent. The possibility hope arrives when they capture a lone Indian. Meek wants to kill him outright, but Soloman and Emily believe he can lead them to much needed water.

Meek's Cutoff is a challenging film with long stretches of silence and scenes of the characters endlessly walking the bleak terrain. It will try even the most patient viewer so much so that New York Times critics A.O. Scott and Manohla Dargis penned an article entitled, In Defense of Slow and Boring, which also referenced divisive films such as The Tree of Life and Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives. It may be a hard pill to swallow, but Meek's Cutoff skillfully conveys the hardships and tedium that came from this era of Manifest Destiny. Reichardt stays through every painful step of everyday tasks before the advent of modern technology. Grinding coffee and churning butter are a pain in the ass. One scene features Michelle Williams firing a warning shot with her rifle, and then almost farcically going through every laborious step to reload. It makes you wonder how past generations ever got anything done.

Throughout it all, Reichardt (working from a script by frequent collaborator Jonathan Raymond) manages to subvert every trope expected of the Western genre. The film was shot in the old aspect ratio of 1.37:1, commonly referred to these days as fullscreen. As such, the characters are framed in a claustrophobic manner that accentuates their positions of being trapped by the landscape. The beautiful Monument Valley of John Ford's oeuvre is replaced by dry, acrid land bereft of any beauty. Reichardt also keeps the audience at a distance as the picture opens with a series of long shots as the settlers go through the arduous task of crossing a shallow stream. The first bit of intelligible dialogue doesn't occur until approximate seven minutes into the movie. The story is told from a female's perspective with Emily as the lead character. Reichardt places her audience into their point of view exemplified during a sequence where the men try to decide what to do with Meek. She shoots them from an extreme long shot, but stays with the women (their faces hidden behind deep bonnets) who watch from a distance and speculate on a conversation they are not privy to.

Reichardt uses only natural lighting during the production. Night scenes are lit simply by a crackling campfire, which gives off an eerie highlight of orange across the actors' faces. Michelle Williams stands as one of the top actresses working in Hollywood today and gives another stellar performance.

Meek's Cutoff caps off an unofficial Pacific Northwest trilogy by filmmaker Kelly Reichardt, which also includes Old Joy and Wendy and Lucy. Thematically, all three movies have much in common. Old Joy was about two friends (vestiges of the 60's counterculture attitude) on a camping trip and coming to grips with the disparity in their lives. Wendy and Lucy was a heart wrenching tale of a woman and her dog making their way to Alaska amidst the crushing weight of the economic crisis. All three were about the people who have fallen through the cracks of society. Meek's Cutoff won't be to everyone's taste, but those with strong enough convictions will find a powerful drama and a successful exercise in minimalistic cinema.

Rating: *** (*****)

Captain America: The First Avenger

2011-08-07T18:20:00.000-07:00

Captain America: The First Avenger - Dir. Joe Johnston (2011)

"What makes you so special?"
"Nothing. I'm just a kid from Brooklyn."

If the interpretations of Mayan calendars turn out to be false and the world doesn't end in 2012, fanboys will rejoice as they'll be able to witness the glory of The Avengers, in which Marvel's greatest superheroes join forces for the first time in live-action. Before the premiere comic book team (sorry, Justice League) makes its debut, Marvel Studios must place the pieces into play. They laid the foundation with Iron Man and continued to build upon it with The Incredible Hulk and Iron Man 2. This summer, Marvel Studios had the daunting task of breathing life into two of their more challenging characters. One was a Norse god with a magical hammer. Thor was successfully realized in an epic fantasy with just the right amount of fish-out-of-water humor. Next up was Captain America, a product of World War II jingoism that leapt from the minds of creators Joe Simon and Jack Kirby.

The character made his debut in Captain America Comics #1, published by Marvel (then known as Timely) in March of 1941, a year before Pearl Harbor plunged the United States into WWII . The cover famously depicted Captain America punching Adolf Hitler right in the face. It would be easy to ridicule his unwavering patriotic beliefs, his star-spangled spandex, and a garish code-name. William Klein did just that with the absurdist Mr. Freedom, a biting Cold War satire of American culture. Yet, Captain America: The First Avenger deftly deals with those issues without a hint of cynicism and celebrates the Captain's old fashioned values.

It is 1942 and a 98-pound asthmatic named Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) is rejected from enlisting in the Army for the umpteenth time. His best friend, Sgt. James "Bucky" Barnes (Sebastian Stan), tries to console him, but Rogers simply wants to serve his country. He gets his chance when Dr. Abraham Erskine (Stanley Tucci) chooses him as part of a clandestine super-soldier program. The project's overseer, Col. Phillips (Tommy Lee Jones) has serious doubts about this human toothpick, but Dr. Erskine believes in him and so does British liaison, Peggy Carter (Hayley Atwell). Thanks to Erskine's serum and vita-ray procedure, Rogers is transformed into a buff beefcake with strength, speed, and agility beyond those of normal human beings. Erskine takes the secrets of the process to his grave when a Nazi saboteur (Richard Armitage) murders him immediately following the experiment.

The assassin was sent by Johann Schmidt (Hugo Weaving), the recipient of an early version of the serum, which gave him super-strength, a crimson cranium, and the nickname of The Red Skull. Schmidt has formed his own splinter group called Hydra, which employs high-tech weaponry powered by the Tesseract (or Cosmic Cube to the comic book fans), a mystical object said to be from Odin's treasury. Knowing Rogers is their only super-soldier; the government hones his identity as a symbol of national pride as he performs in propaganda reels and USO shows. Dressed in a wool costume, the Captain pleads for citizens to buy war bonds while leggy dancers belt out a show tune penned by lyricist David Zippel and Alan Menken, the composer of classic Disney movies like The Little Mermaid and Aladdin. In a clever meta-textual gag, the comic book character becomes a comic book character with issues of Captain America being read by children and servicemen alike. The Captain eventually makes his way to the frontlines where he battles Hydra alongside Bucky and the internationally diverse Howling Commandos.

There has been a glut of comic book films this year and Captain America lies somewhere in the middle of the pack. It's leaps and bounds above The Green Hornet and Green Lantern, but it's not as strong as Thor or X-Men: First Class. Much like Thor, the story is rushed with the filmmakers primarily concerned with setting up The Avengers than crafting a stand-alone picture. Just when you think you've reached the midpoint of Captain America, you're actually at the climax. There's a lot stuffed into this origin story that introduces numerous characters and builds subplots for later movies. Minor spoilers: Captain America is bookended with the discovery and revival of the Star-Spangled Avenger after spending decades in deep freeze. That's a lot to handle for a single two-hour film. So much so that the movie employs three montage sequences to pare down the narrative. But, the strengths of Captain America outweigh its weaknesses.

Director Joe Johnston has bounced back from last year's critically derided Wolfman with an exciting, four-color adventure that recalls the most underrated comic book adaptation, The Rocketeer, which he also directed. Captain America has a vintage quality that the captures the tone of Raiders of the Lost Ark and the Republic movie serials that inspired it. Not much of a surprise as Johnston studied under the tutelage of George Lucas and Steven Spielberg as a special effects artist on Raiders and Star Wars. There is even a sly Indiana Jones reference ("The Fuhrer digs for trinkets in the desert…"). Johnston isn't a strong action director, but the battle sequences in Captain America are exciting, despite an anti-climactic finale. There's a Where Eagles Dare-style raid in the Alps and it's a joy to see Cap slinging his shield. The screenplay was written by Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely (The Chronicles of Narnia) with an uncredited rewrite by Avengers director Joss Whedon. Though it tends to fall on the bloated side, the script has plenty of sharp humor and the kind of wicked one-liners that could have only sprung from the Whedon's mind.

The production design is impeccable. It doesn't attempt to faithfully replicate the period, but replicate an exaggerated Marvel-ized version of the times, which could only be described as Art Deco Retro-Futurism, what people of the past thought the future would look like. The highlight is an early staging of the Stark Expo from Iron Man 2 with a mannequin of the Golden Age Human Torch (one of Marvel's first heroes) on display. This isn't the WWII from Saving Private Ryan or Band of Brothers, but a PG accounting with Hydra foot soldiers vaporizing their enemies with chrome-plated laser cannons.

Chris Evans takes on his toughest and highest-profile role to date as the title character. Evans is already known to comic book fans as the Human Torch in Fantastic Four and the skateboarding Lucas Lee in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. As Johnny Storm, Evans brought a charismatic flair to the otherwise abysmal Fantastic Four. The same can be said for his role in another comic book adaptation, The Losers. Evans had turned down Captain America multiple times before revealing he was simply afraid of playing the part. It's lucky he changed his mind as Evans is excellent in the role. Not only does he have the All-American good looks to play Captain America, he brings the right amount of gravitas. Using the magic of CGI, Evans begins the film as a scrawny weakling constantly beating up by bullies, but never backing down. He is actually more interesting as Steve Rogers than he is as Cap, partly because the majority of Cap's scenes are action-driven rather than dramatic. The most refreshing trait of the character was the fact that he didn't go through an obligatory character arc. The majority of recent comic book films revolve around an arrogant protagonist who must learn humility and responsibility en route to becoming a bona fide hero. Steve Rogers is honorable and virtuous throughout First Avenger, yet that didn't make him any less compelling. Secondly, Cap doesn't treat his newfound powers as a burden. Thus, he does not go through the clichéd turning point of quitting only to take up the mantle again after ten minutes.

The supporting cast is equally good with even the smallest role performed memorably. Hugo Weaving is villainously over-the-top as Cap's arch-enemy, employing the distinctive inflections of eccentric auteur Werner Herzog to his cartoonish German accent. The make-up is excellent too, making the Red Skull a hideous by-product of Aryan genetic engineering. Toby Jones plays the Red Skull's right-hand man, Arnim Zola. Jones subverts the cliché of the sycophantic henchman by injecting a sense of apprehension in the face of the Skull's overwhelming evil. Tommy Lee Jones essentially does Tommy Lee Jones as the Captain's gruff and grizzled commanding officer. Dominic Cooper also turns in a great performance as Iron Man's father, Howard Stark, a Howard Hughes-esque playboy industrialist.

This isn't Captain America's first film. The character was previously brought to life in a pair of 70's made-for-TV movies with Reb Brown as a motorcycle helmet wearing Captain America. There was also a direct-to-video cheapie with Matt Salinger (son of J.D. Salinger) as rubber-eared Captain America who fought an Italian Red Skull. Captain America: The First Avenger is the version fans have been waiting for.

Rating: *** (*****)

Happythankyoumoreplease

2011-07-27T10:30:00.000-07:00

Happythankyoumoreplease - Dir. Josh Radnor (2010)

The last few years have seen a rise in the so-called mumblecore movement, a brand of low-budget independent film marked by character-driven stories about twentysomethings in a post-collegiate malaise. Happythankyoumoreplease isn't mumblecore. It belongs to mumblecore's big brother, hipstercore, a term I haven't seen used in conjunction with cinema. It is certainly apropos for a far too preciously titled film about trendy, young urbanites set to a soundtrack of acoustic guitar driven coffee shop pop.

Josh Radnor from CBS's How I Met Your Mother makes his debut as a writer and director with Happythankyoumoreplease. He also takes the starring role of Sam Wexler, a struggling author living in New York City. He's looking to make a big break with his novel entitled, The Other Great Thing About Vinyl. However, Sam's problem is he is a white guy from the suburbs and has nothing truly profound to say. Sam's life changes when he meets Rasheen (Michael Algieri), a little boy who is separated from his family on the subway. Rasheen has been bounced from foster home to foster home and refuses to be taken to child services or the police station. Sam ludicrously decides to let Rasheen stay with him for the time being. Sam's friends know this is a bad idea and their lives intersect with the main story.

Annie (Malin Akerman) is a bright-eyed office girl with alopecia, a condition that causes loss of hair throughout her body. She's a nice girl, who only seems to go out with jerks. Annie receives unwanted flirting with a nebbish co-worker also named Sam (Tony Hale). The original Sam's cousin, Mary Catherine (Zoe Kazan), loves the Big Apple and is troubled by her boyfriend Charlie's (Pablo Schreiber) desire to move to L.A. Sam's love life is in turmoil as well. He tries to romance a lovely bartender by the name of Mississippi (Kate Mara).

Reviews have inevitably compared Happythankyou with Zach Braff's Garden State. Aside from the fact that both marked the filmmaking debuts of sitcom stars, they don't have that much in common. For one thing "Happythankyou" lacks the strong female performance from Natalie Portman. As a director, Radnor is missing the visual cleverness of Braff. Radnor's style is competent, but bland and has all the visual flair of your average single camera sitcom.

Radnor's screenwriting feels like an earnest attempt to recapture the feel of Woody Allen's prime. The characters all have their neuroses, but never seem to rise above perfunctory quirks to become multi-dimensional human beings. One of Allen's most iconic characters was the city of New York itself. Happythankyou may be set in NYC, but it isn't uniquely New York and could have been set in almost any bustling metropolis. Radnor also spreads the script too thin by getting sidetracked with all the parallel subplots. The relationship between Mary and Charlie is the least developed and least interesting and could have easily been excised. The blossoming couple of Annie and Sam #2 wind up being more compelling than the A-story between Sam and Rasheen. This is due in no small part to the performances of Malin Akerman and Tony Hale. Akerman (who was so wooden in Watchmen) brings an infectious perkiness to her character. Meanwhile, Hale plays a low-key variation of the awkward Buster Bluth from Arrested Development.

The story of a struggling artist is always hard to sympathize with, especially when he's the mopey kind who lives in a spacious apartment he couldn't possibly afford. Happythankyoumoreplease tries so hard to be hip and insightful, but comes off as a derivative bore.

Rating: * ½ (*****)

Horrible Bosses

2011-07-17T23:30:00.000-07:00

Horrible Bosses - Dir. Seth Gordon (2011)

This summer has been the season for raunchy comedies. The Hangover Part II is one of the highest grossing films of the year, despite a severe critical lashing. Bridesmaids is in the top ten for domestic grosses and received far more critical praise. The summer has also yielded Bad Teacher, the upcoming body switch laugher The Change-Up, and the workplace comedy Horrible Bosses.

Horrible Bosses plays into the dark fantasies we've all had about gaining a measure of revenge against an abusive supervisor. It also touches upon the frustrations that have been cultivated by the turbulent economic climate. However, don't expect a sharp treatise that handles those themes with a wry intelligence. Horrible Bosses earns its R rating by being a silly and profane comedy.

Jason Bateman is Nick Hendricks, a white-collar worker at a financial firm under the tyrannical reign of Dave Harken (Kevin Spacey). Harken represents the worst aspects of the corporate world. He dangles and denies a vital promotion to Nick, then laughs about his dead grandmother. Jason Sudeikis is Kurt Buckman, an account manager for a chemical company. Unlike his buddies, Kurt actually loves his job probably because he works for kindly Donald Sutherland. Unfortunately, the old man dies of a heart attack leaving the company in the hands of his odious sleazebag son. Not Kiefer, but Bobby Pellitt (Colin Farrell sporting a beer belly and a comb-over). Bobby plans on running his dad's legacy into the ground to feed his appetite for cocaine and hookers. Finally, there's Dale Arbus, a chaste dental assistant, who suffers from daily sexual harassment from his nymphomaniac boss, Dr. Julia Harris (Jennifer Aniston).

All three buddies have their reasons for not simply quitting their jobs. Harken promises to blackball Nick from the industry should be leave. Kurt doesn't want to see Bobby destroy the company. Dr. Julia has taken pictures of herself molesting an unconscious Dale and threatens to show them to his fiancée (Lindsay Sloane). Poor Dale is also a registered sex offender, the reasons for which are too funny to spoil.

After reaching their breaking point, the protagonists decide to kill their bosses. Of course, none of them have any clue about how to do that. Kurt comes up with the harebrained scheme of going into a bar in East L.A. and ask around. They meet an ex-con named Dean "Motherfucker" Jones (Jamie Foxx), who agrees to be their murder consultant.

Anybody who has ever watched an episode of CSI will figure out their plans aren't likely to be successful. What follows is a farcical series of events as these frat pack Three Stooges fumble their way through their half-assed murder plots. It is the interactions between the leads that sells Horrible Bosses. None of the main actors are doing anything new. Bateman reprises the role of the exasperated everyman he has portrayed since his comeback on Arrested Development. Sudeikis is doing his horndog shtick though Horrible Bosses is a better showcase for his comedic skills than the Farrelly Brothers' inert Hall Pass. Meanwhile, Day is basically reprising his role from FX's It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Day also provides some of the funniest moments of the movie from his manic motions after accidentally breathing in Bobby's coke stash to singing the Ting Ting's "That's Not My Name" while alone in a car.

Day's performance also saves his particular subplot, which might be the most tenuous of them all. Let's face it, Aniston's perpetually horny cougar is the dream boss for any heterosexual male. But, Day imbues Dale with a dim-witted naiveté that makes it somewhat believable for him to be offended by Julia's advances. For Aniston, this is a drastic departure from her usual girl-next-door roles. It's not exactly the most nuanced character or the most politically correct, but she plays it with gusto. To no one's surprise, Kevin Spacey turns in a solid performance as an asshole boss, a return to his Buddy Ackerman from Swimming with Sharks with a dash of John Williamson from Glengarry Glen Ross. Colin Farrell is sadly short-changed in screen time. He is wonderfully over-the-top.

The film is competently directed by Seth Gordon, who made his debut with the excellent documentary King of Kong. He has since turned into a director of slick Hollywood comedies.

Horrible Bosses is a safe, mainstream Hollywood picture masquerading as an edgy black comedy. The characters are cartoonish and the plot moves ahead through a series of sitcom contrivances. But, it's entertaining and humorous enough to warrant at least a rental.

Rating: ** ½ (*****)

Kill the Irishman

2011-07-10T23:00:00.000-07:00

Kill the Irishman - Dir. Jonathan Hensleigh (2011)

"...if any of these maggots in the so-called mafia want to come after me, I'm not a hard man to find."

Cleveland is known as the home of the Indians and the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame. Most folks don't realize that the city was also known as a hotbed for the mafia back in the 70's. In fact, Cleveland earned the dubious nickname of "Bomb City, USA" due to the violent struggle between rival mob factions and their use of bombs as the preferred method of murder. Thirty-six explosions were set off in 1976 alone. Hip deep in the thick of things was an Irish gangster by the name of Danny Greene, who serves as the basis for Kill the Irishman, a fictionalized account of those violent events. Kill the Irishman was co-written and directed by Jonathan Hensleigh, who also wrote and directed The Punisher, starring Thomas Jane in the titular role. Oddly enough, the star of his newest film is Ray Stevenson, who took over as Marvel's premiere vigilante in the sequel/reboot, Punisher: War Zone.

Stevenson plays Greene as a physically imposing man with a barrel chest and a shock of strawberry blonde hair. His rise in the world of organized crime began as the head of the dockworkers' union. To consolidate power, Greene struck a deal with the Italians in exchange for goods pilfered from errant shipping containers. It was through this relationship that Greene met John Nardi (Vincent D'Onofrio), who would become one of his staunchest allies and the only Mafioso that actually liked the Irishman. A scathing news article exposed Greene's corruption and he was banned from the union for life. He escaped jail time by agreeing to become an FBI informant. In real life, Greene was one of the highest profile informants for the feds along with Whitey Bulger, the recently arrested mob boss who served as an inspiration for Jack Nicholson's character in The Departed.

Greene would eventually work as a leg breaker for notorious loan shark, Shondor Birns (Christopher Walken). A sour business transaction would end their relationship and ignite a blood feud between the mafia, who were desperate to retain control of the city against Greene's gang, which was quickly consolidating power. After surviving multiple attempts upon his life, including an explosion in his home, Greene brazenly dared the mob to come after him during a televised interview. Of course, the all good things must come to an end.

Kill the Irishman is a familiar story told in a familiar way and full of familiar faces. To put it bluntly, it's a knockoff of Scorsese films and assorted episodes of The Sopranos. Hensleigh recycles plenty of ideas from movies like Mean Streets and Goodfellas. There's a montage showing Greene's rise to power and chart-topping pop songs ironically contrasting violent scenes. The dialogue consists of clichéd tough guy lines like, "Your enemies are my enemies."

Pretty much anyone who has ever played a gangster is in Kill the Irishman. There's Walken, D'Onofrio, Paul Sorvino, Steven Schirripa, Mike Starr, Tony Lo Bianco, Robert Davi, Tony Darrow, and Vinny Vella, along with Vinnie Jones (sporting an awful looking tan and an even worse Irish accent) and Bob Gunton. Linda Cardellini takes on the Lorraine Bracco role of the put upon wife who can only stand by her man for so long. Finally, Val Kilmer appears as Det. Manditski, a former childhood acquaintance of Greene's who serves as narrator. This cast of noted character actors is the film's sole saving grace and serves as fine support for a strong performance by Stevenson. The former Titus Pullo imbues the role of Danny Greene with a natural charisma, even if the character is thinly written. Greene is painted as a Robin Hood figure and a blue-collar underdog in t-shirts and jeans defiant against the elitist Italians in their tailored suits.

Hensleigh adds to the authenticity by dotting the narrative with archival news footage of the actual events.

Kill the Irishman fails to live up to the renowned gangster pics it tries so hard to emulate. It's neither original nor memorable, but is worth a look because of a game and talented cast. Hey, Christopher Walken is always fun to watch.

Rating: ** (*****)

Transformers: Dark of the Moon

2011-07-07T09:30:00.000-07:00

Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Dir. Michael Bay (2011)

"Years from now they're gonna ask…where were you when they took over the planet?"

The summer blockbuster season reaches its nadir with the third installment of Transformers, based on the popular toy line from Hasbro, and directed by Michael Bay, purveyor of overblown schlock. Bay’s first Transformers film was lifted above its leaden coming-of-age narrative by a Spielbergian sense of wonder as an unassuming suburban boy meets a race of giant robots from outer space. The sequel, Revenge of the Fallen, was an atrocity of epic proportions that was hastily slapped together before the Writer’s Strike of late 2007 to early 2008. Even Bay and star Shia LaBeouf apologized for the rancid turd they unleashed from their bowels. Not that it matters, audiences ate it up as if the manure pile were a tasty bowl of ice cream. Thanks to them Revenge made over $800 million worldwide. Dark of the Moon has already grossed half that in its opening week. In financial terms, it's a rousing success, but what about the actual movie?

I can honestly say that Dark of the Moon is better than Revenge of the Fallen. However, that's the equivalent of saying being smashed in the face with a pipe wrench is better than having your genitals hooked to Bumblebee's car battery.

Much like X-Men: First Class, Transformers plays with revisionist history by planting the idea that the entire space race was predicated on the discovery of an ancient Autobot ship that crashed on the moon. The prologue is peppered with archival footage and actors who look nothing like their real-life counterparts. Astronauts Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin (who makes a cameo appearance) explore the massive spacecraft and sworn to secrecy about what they've seen. And just when you think the story is building momentum, it all comes crashing back to modern-day Earth as we follow the plight of Sam Witwicky (LaBeouf) in the current economic crisis.

Poor Sam has helped the Autobots save the world twice, but he can't find a job and mopes a lot. You'd think he would be way happier considering he has yet another insanely gorgeous girlfriend. Following the acrimonious departure of Megan Fox, Victoria's Secret model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley replaces her as the pouty lipped, hot chick that runs away from the robots. She plays Carly Spencer, a former British attaché now working for millionaire playboy Dylan Gould (Patrick Dempsey). The film spends an interminable amount of time introducing us to a cavalcade of new characters like John Malkovich as Sam's orange-skinned boss, Frances McDormand as a director of intelligence, and Ken Jeong doing his usual Ken Jeong schtick. We are also reunited with several returning characters such as soldiers Lt. Col. Lennix (Josh Duhamel) and Robert Epps (Tyrese Gibson), Sam's parents (Kevin Dunn & Julie White), and the eccentric Agent Simmons (John Turturro). It goes on and on until finally scenes of actual importance occur in rapid succession as Decepticons murder human beings and Optimus (voiced once again by Peter Cullen) revives his long-lost predecessor Sentinel Prime (Leonard Nimoy). It all builds to 45 minutes of pure, unadulterated Bay-hem as a full-scale Decepticon invasion force lays waste to downtown Chicago.

Dark is just as loud, obnoxious, and over long as the previous pictures and filled with plot holes big enough for Optimus Prime to drive through. On the positive side, Bay has toned down the puerile humor as well as the blatant misogyny and racism. The ridiculous, buck-toothed Twins from Revenge are thankfully gone though the Joe Pesci-esque Wheelie (Tom Kenny) is still around to provide a poor excuse for comic relief. Still, Michael Bay cannot help being Michael Bay and there is underlying sexism throughout the narrative. Dark of the Moon has no strong female character whatsoever. Women in Bay movies are generally nattering twits (Sam's mother), shrewish harpies (McDormand's Charlotte Mearing) or blatant sex objects (everyone else). This is never more apparent than the replacing of Megan Fox with a lingerie model, who can serve as each one of those archetypes. At least, Bay had no pretensions at all to the role. Why hire an actual actress when all you need is someone to walk around in their underwear. Bay's sensibilities for fast cars and beautiful women are comparable to a hormonal adolescent boy getting aroused by covers of Lowrider displayed at the local supermarket magazine rack.

The first shot of the film following the prologue is a gratuitous butt shot of Huntington-Whiteley as she pads up a staircase barefoot and clad in skimpy panties and a man's dress shirt. Fox may not be an incredibly nuanced actress, but at least she displayed some semblance of personality and got involved in the action scenes. Huntington-Whitely is a complete cipher whose only talents are squeezing into form-fitting dresses and staring blankly into the distance as objects explode behind her in slow motion. Her romance with LaBeouf's Sam arbitrarily runs hot and cold according to narrative conventions.

The main problem with Bay's Transformers films has always been the inordinate amount of screen time wasted on human characters that nobody cares about. You would think a Transformers movie would be about the Transformers. Not that the machines are depicted as multi-dimensional beings. Giving them funny accents are about as deep into characterization as the writers go. There is just something about giant death metal robots clashing and causing massive amounts of property damage which appeals to simple-minded pleasures. Bay provides that in spades with an extended battle in the Windy City as skyscrapers topple and Transformers perform Mortal Kombat-style fatalities on each other. It's certainly the most ambitious action Bay has ever directed. It feels like he watched Independence Day, Cloverfield, Inception, and Spielberg's War of the Worlds and said, "I can do better." However, the climax is lacking in any kind of coherent flow. There's never a sense of where everyone is located in relation to each other and how each section connects with the other. It's more like a jumble of incomplete sequences strung together. Bay appears to be afflicted with the worse case of ADD as scenes and subplots abruptly end as if he walked away halfway through and moved on to the next thing.

Bay also has a habit of recycling the same action sequences over and over. How many times have we seen a highway chase where cars attempt to dodge heavy objects hurtling at them? There's one in every Transformers movie. It's gotten to the point where Bay has lifted entire shots from The Island and reused them for Dark of the Moon. Granted, he was unable to complete the sequence due to the horrific accident to an extra. Nevertheless, the fact that Bay so easily integrated old footage from an entirely different picture speaks volumes to his unoriginality.

The one shining light in Dark of the Moon is Leonard Nimoy, who is related to Bay by marriage, proving you can pick your friends, but not your family. Nimoy previously voiced Galvatron in the animated Transformers: The Movie and imbues a gravelly gravitas to the inane dialogue he's forced to spout. There are also a couple Star Trek references thrown in, a call back to Wrath of Khan and another that cleverly foreshadows a crucial plot twist.

Michael Bay has lashed out at his critics by claiming his movies are meant to be fun summer films, which means his films aren't supposed to have highbrow nonsense like logic, great acting, and a coherent storyline. There's no reason for these things to be mutually exclusive. Iron Man and The Dark Knight are proven examples that big-budget blockbusters don't have to be mind-numbing special effects extravaganzas. Unfortunately, Bay seems more than content to wallow in soulless spectacle and audiences are happy to line up around the block. The two highest grossing movies in 2011 are The Hangover Part II and Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. Transformers: Dark of the Moon has taken the fourth spot less than a week after release. I admit Dark of the Moon provides a visceral gratification to our base desires of seeing things get blown up, but I crave something with more substance.

Final Thoughts: I caught Dark of the Moon in IMAX 3D and if you are going to see the most excessive movie of the year, see it in the most excessive way possible. The 3D effects are surprisingly effective. The opening sequence, in particular, has a very noticeable depth of field. It's one of the most pleasant 3D experiences I've had and I'm no advocate for the process. There's no feeling of flatness and very little dimming since Bay implored theater owners to burn out their projection bulbs to display the film at the proper brightness levels. The 3D also forces Bay to rethink how he directs action sequences since rapid editing, tight close-ups, and jarring camera movement do not work with 3D cameras.

Rating: ** (*****)

Cars 2

2011-07-04T16:22:00.000-07:00

Cars 2 - Dirs. Brad Lewis & John Lasseter (2011)

Pixar stands as one of the few certainties in this topsy-turvy world. They consistently churn out some of the highest quality pictures out there. Their films always find themselves on numerous critics' year-end lists and have earned the studio 26 Academy Awards. Yet, there always seems to be some doomsayer just waiting for Pixar to slip up. These cynics are likely sitting in the back of the theater (next to Armond White) waiting for the moment when the credits roll so they can finally stand and give a round of slow, sarcastic applause to Pixar's first failure. Everyone seems to be pegging Cars 2, as the first misstep. It's received the worst reviews of any Pixar film thus far. Why should Pixar sequelize one of their weakest efforts, when something like The Incredibles is far more deserving of a second installment? As Spaceballs' guru, Yogurt, would say, "Merchandising, merchandising, merchandising." Hot Wheels toys based on the characters sell like hot cakes to kids and adult collectors alike, but the movies don't share the appeal to a wide range of age groups. Most Pixar productions feel like movies made for adults, but enjoyed by kids. Cars 2 feels like a movie made for kids that will be enjoyed solely by kids.

As all sequels tend to do, Cars 2 goes global as Lightning McQueen (Owen Wilson) enters the World Grand Prix, a three-pronged race sponsored by former oil tycoon Sir Miles Axelrod (Eddie Izzard). Axelrod is now an advocate for alternative fuels and is using the race to promote his newly invented, Allinol. McQueen takes along his best buddy, Mater (Larry the Cable Guy), who proves you can take the redneck out of Radiator Springs, but you can't take the Radiator Springs out of the redneck. Mater's slack-jawed yokel act winds up being an embarrassment for McQueen.

Meanwhile, British super spy Finn McMissile (Michael Caine) is investigating the notorious Professor Zundapp (Thomas Kretschmann), who is attempting to sabotage the Grand Prix in order to protect big oil's interests. The two storylines intersect due to a Hitchcockian case of mistaken identity when Mater comes into possession of photographic evidence that could reveal the identity of the evil mastermind. Mater teams with McMissile and his assistant Holley Shiftwell (Emily Mortimer) to save the life of Lightning McQueen and stop the villains.

Cars 2 continues the themes of its progenitor by extolling the virtues of small town values and folksy Americana. The sequel keeps the spirit alive and places it on an expansive, international scale. The stakes are raised immensely by the new element of espionage, which allows Pixar to further delve into this world of cars. It's clear the Cars franchise is a passion project of noted auto enthusiast John Lasseter (who co-directed with Brad Lewis) due to the attention to detail. Pixar remains the gold standard when it comes to gorgeous animation. Every shot is vividly rendered, especially the scenes set in Tokyo, which is shown as a neon metropolis full of cutesy anime-style characters. Much like the third Toy Story, the majority of the 3D effects in Cars 2 are rather subtle and aren't worth either the extra price or the dulling of the bright animation.

Cars 2 might be the most action-packed Pixar flick yet. There are enough car chases through European streets to make the late-John Frankenheimer drool. The movie opens with a spectacular sequence as McMissile battles an army of henchmen on an oil rig. There's also an exciting climax in Italy on a race track clearly modeled after Monaco. Parents should be warned that several cars meet unfortunate demises, but never in a graphic manner.

While Pixar may have put it into neutral for Cars 2, they are hardly deserving of all the critical drubbing. The screenplay by Ben Queen (with story credits by Lasseter, Lewis, and Dan Fogelman) tosses in a few clever gags. The best joke revolves around an alliance of disgruntled Pacers, Gremlins, and Yugos, who serve as the car versions of the mob as well as the muscle for Prof. Zundapp.

The voice acting is sold with Owen Wilson returning as the affable Lightning McQueen, no longer the jerk he was in the first film. The denizens of Radiator Springs are also back in much smaller roles though three cast members have sadly passed away in the intervening years, Joe Ranft, George Carlin, and Paul Newman. Red the fire engine appears, but has no lines while Carlin's Fillmore the hippie dippie van has been recast (Lloyd Sherr). Newman's Doc Hudson receives a poignant remembrance. Michael Caine and Emily Mortimer are welcome additions, but the most memorable is John Turturro as formula one racer Francesco Bernoulli. Turturro is wonderfully over-the-top as McQueen's arrogant rival. The funny accent turns him into a G-rated version of The Jesus from The Big Lebowski. Pixar even finds a way to work in the legendary Bruce Campbell as American muscle car spy Rod "Torque" Redline. The one question mark that hovers over the film does so above one Larry the Cable Guy. The buck-toothed Mater graduates from comic relief sidekick to main protagonist. His backwoods persona does grow tiresome and a little annoying as Cars 2 zooms towards the finish line.

There's good and then there's Pixar good. Cars 2 is merely good, simply lacking the emotional depth of triumphs such as Toy Story and Up. Still, it's no lemon like the henchcars it features. Cars 2 is a lightweight, lighthearted, and candy-colored adventure that possesses just enough charm to appeal to younger audiences and the occasional adult.

Rating: ** ½ (*****)